December 20, 2023 • 53 mins
And that's a wrap! We are tying a bow on this first season of Junkyard Mayhem! We hope you had as much fun as we did! To celebrate a great first season we are taking a look back on some of our favorite moments like "How My Brother Saved My Life," "Was Our Instagram Post Out of Line," and "The Inspiring Tragedy of Sex and Disability"
Enjoy this episode and we will see you all for a new season next year!
For transcripts of this week's podcast click HERE:
Thank you to this week's sponsors:
ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/Junkyard and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
EveryPlate: Get started with EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal PLUS $1 steaks for life by going to
EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code 49junkyardpod.
For more Mayhem follow:
@junkyardmayhem
@shaneburcaw
@hannahayl
Facebook
Website
We would love your feedback... If you enjoyed this episode, tell us why! Leave us a review and make sure you subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.
Executive Producers are Riley Peleuses + Michaela Garrison for YEA Networks / YEA Podcasts
If you are interested in advertising on this podcast or having Shane and Hannah as guests on your Podcast, Radio Show, or TV Show, reach out to podcast@yeanetworks.com
Enjoy this episode and we will see you all for a new season next year!
For transcripts of this week's podcast click HERE:
Thank you to this week's sponsors:
ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/Junkyard and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
EveryPlate: Get started with EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal PLUS $1 steaks for life by going to
EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code 49junkyardpod.
For more Mayhem follow:
@junkyardmayhem
@shaneburcaw
@hannahayl
Website
We would love your feedback... If you enjoyed this episode, tell us why! Leave us a review and make sure you subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.
Executive Producers are Riley Peleuses + Michaela Garrison for YEA Networks / YEA Podcasts
If you are interested in advertising on this podcast or having Shane and Hannah as guests on your Podcast, Radio Show, or TV Show, reach out to podcast@yeanetworks.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Yay Networks. Watch him back.We're back in my purple chair, the
chair that began it all, infront of our ugly brown curtains, right
back where we started this podcast.This is the final episode of Gentle Mayhem
Season one, and we thought itwould be really fun to take them up
(00:23):
back at some of our best,weirdest, funniest moments from this podcast.
It's gonna be good the whole yearto work with. It's like, basically,
it's amazing for you because you're gettinga highlight reel without having to watch
maybe our more boring parts. Youknow, and and I can be pretty
(00:44):
boring. True, We're not goingto drone on and on about stuff.
Yeah, so please enjoy this bestof episode. We're very excited. Let's
begin. Well well, well wow, that was a nice little headspin.
(01:06):
Who are you? I am Andrew? Everyone, my brother Andrew Bertel,
for the first time ever is appearing. I'm Jack Jared Mayhew. I I've
been on videos before. But yeah, so I think that we should spend
most of our time today telling somestories and memories from growing up together.
(01:27):
I think that's a good idea,and we have quite a few. I
did. We should begin with thetime that I made you into a human
public system, so that you countthe basketball. I'd like to hear your
perspective. I've told this story amillion times. I tell it in every
(01:49):
speeching engagement I do Hannah, youknow, we do speeches together, and
she loves to make fun of likehow unsafe this was. But why don't
you go ahead and tell the storyas you remember it. I feel like
we have to start with saying whywe wanted to do it. Yes,
so, growing up, our friendpat uh he had a basketball hoop,
(02:15):
one of those where you could adjustthe height of it. And we also
had the small little urban rebounder trampolineswhere if we put the basketball hoop all
the way down and use the trampoline, we could like maybe dunk's at about
trampoline just barely totally tampolaine and like, so we were playing basketball all the
(02:35):
time, and of course dunking islike the coolest thing you can do as
a human being. Around this time, you were probably nine, I should
say, yeah's somewhere in that teneleven, right, Shane's twelve, pats
ten or eleven. Yeah, kids, we want to dunk a real dunk,
like on a ten foot hoop,not using the champlaine, not using
the trampoline. Correct, So beinglike four feet tall and a half.
(03:00):
I don't know how tall yar atnine. You can't dunk at that age,
but if you have someone who canpull you up with a rope,
you can dunk. And so wethought, hmm, Andrews, a little
smaller will be the guinea pig let'stie a really raspy, thick, not
(03:22):
nice rope around his waist. Ialways say it was like a not at
all yeah, correct, and onethat had been used often, so there
were a lot of little pieces stickingout all over the place. Yeah,
it didn't feel good around my waist, doesn't feel good already, and then
loop it up over the basketball hoop, through through the hoop somewhere up.
(03:46):
Yeah, it would have to bethat way down to Shane's chair to the
front, so that he could continuewatching and still and reverse to pull us
back up instead of like turned arounddriving away. He won't be able to
see the dunk. So it wasreally about my pleasure. I'm sure that
that came up a lot, andI'd start going up. It is working
(04:12):
amazing, which is amazing. Elevenyear old figure. We are physicists,
we are sciences, we're engineers,and we deserve compensations. We are set
for a lifetime of Richard's and inventionsand patents. Yes, And right after
that we get stuck, sort of. We get up about halfway, well,
(04:34):
you're pretty high, and then wehear some screaming, which was our
dad, I believe because you cansee their backyard from our backyard when we
were growing up, and I'm surehe looked over and saw my son's in
the air and he's connected to thewheelchair. That's not good. So he
(04:59):
runs over. All the while Shane'sstill trying to back up, because we're
at the point where like, well, you probably understood pool. He's better
back then, but I don't understandhim now. It's easier in the beginning
once you get up towards the actuallyit gets harder, so there's more pressure
on the wheelchair. I'm in fullreverse reverse. I'm sure there was,
(05:24):
so it's like Yankee night chair.Ye. Power still didn't get up,
and then Dad begins to screen.Dad begins to scream, tell us to
stop because he sees the wheelchair,knowing that it's getting screwed up and we
broke the wheelchair. Well, ohyeah, you jumped right to it.
And I don't even really know ifI dunked. You never don't, I
(05:47):
don't. I think I just blockedthat part out because it was so traumatizing.
Yeah, I never got to dunk, but you try to. Never
the biggest leg piece of it here, as we already entered down, we
saw that my wheelchair only tearing onedirection like I did, only tear it
in a sharehole, didn't drive straight, didn't tear the other way. All
(06:08):
of that like effort that my chairwas giving. All that smoke was the
motors in my chair destroying themselves likemeltale. Like yeah, they were toasted.
And the replacement host of that waslike eight thousand dollars. It was
a lot, so we were Wemight have been drownded for a few days,
(06:29):
Oh yeah, for sure, butno ropes for a couple of days.
Was it worth it? Do youthink? Absolutely? You can only
learn through failure in life? Wow, that is that is one thing that
I live by. You fail forward, you don't fail back. These are
life lessons fail forward and all right, so these are all kind of our
(06:50):
jet yard mayhem sports stories. Youknow, us being silly kids. You
are a adult. I'm an adultsometimes yeah, mostly, so I'm gonna
switch from kind of all those sillyto a little bit more serious. Now,
are you gonna be able to handlethat for a short amount of time?
I can maybe gave you a coupleof minutes. All right, You're
(07:12):
allowed to still Joe, but let'skeep it with a level of seriousness.
As you know, and I areYouTubers now podcasts here are are you familiar?
Nor drugs? On YouTube? Alittle over a million followers? Thank
you? Subscribe, thank you.And as we've been doing that over the
(07:40):
last four or five years, youknow, our family knows that a very
common reaction that we get to ourvideos is this assumption and the assertion that
Hannah and I are not in areal relationship, that I am either paying
(08:07):
her or she's using me, oryou know, there's a myriad number of
theories about how we are faith andnot in love, and all of those
ideas are based on the presumption thatI am not a valuable partner. I
could never be a lovable husband forHannah. I'm going to get like your
(08:33):
Kate on everything about that and justlike let you how you feel. How
does that make you feel? Asmy brother, Well, to start off,
you're not a good lover. I'mjust gonna throw that out there.
No, I mean it was theweirdest word was the one that I chose
(08:54):
very carefully. But yeah, obviouslygrowing up we experience that as well,
just not we weren't lovers. Ijust want to throw that out there.
Just people seeing you drive around andI think they would just judge because they
(09:15):
wouldn't understand it and underestimate, theyunderestimate you, and they just they paint
the picture in their head. AndI think the biggest thing, whether it
was our childhood or you're in Hannah'scareer and life together, I think that
for society, it's a lot easierto if you don't understand something, paint
your own picture in your head.You make your own narrative when you don't
(09:39):
understand something. It's so much easierthan going out of your way to change
your viewpoint and your understanding and educateyourself. It's so much easier to just
not do that and paint your ownpicture in your head, which is what
people do, and it's it hasto be human nature. Because people just
do that. It's some people,not everyone. Correct. Yeah, I
(10:03):
guess I'm not. I'm paying societyin a very bad life. There are
people who who choose to do thatrather than figure out what is going on.
And whether it's you guys or anything, I think that you guys are
doing a really good job with youryour videos and everything that you're doing with
(10:24):
work to be that education for peoplethat it's okay to be different. It's
okay that things don't look like thethe norm that you're used to seeing.
Doesn't make them wrong or bad orfake or fake. It is just different.
And I feel like as a wholewe are shifting towards being able to
(10:50):
have that. I mean, there'sall different people are being embraced, embraced
and being represented way more than theyever have been at this point in society,
and you guys are part of thatin terms of educating people. This
is so heartfelt. I'm grading myteeth together so hard right now, I'm
trying. I'm just getting punched.Yeah, you can't believe you made me
(11:15):
say that. I mean, Iappreciate that, sincerely, I don't mean
it. What has been your kindof legs like put in the YouTube steff
aside perspective or like thoughts on myrelationship with Handa, like you've been there
every sip of the way. Youknow, you used to be one of
my primary caregivers. And then asHannah and I fell in love, like
(11:39):
she took that over as we beganto spend him one of my time together
and now we live together. Lookslike well, I mean, other than
the fact that you're like really proudof me, none of that is actually
true. I remember when you left. I feel like for both of us,
it was really hard that day whenyou made that call all to move
(12:01):
to Minnesota. That was a reallydifficult day for both of us because it
was the end of an era.But I remember the first thing you said
to me. I sat you downin the basement and I was telling you
about it. And the first thingyou've said, you lized, so can
I have your spots? I neededthe Xbox. I needed to make sure
(12:22):
that I could still play my videogames. But no, I in my
best man speech, I had thoughtof a good way to Andrew is my
best man to describe how I feltabout you guys, And I had I
had described a story about another timewhere you almost died. This time not
(12:43):
my fault, thankfully, but justa really scary moment in our life where
you had no one to take careof you and I had to rush home
to make sure that nothing bad happened. And knowing you and knowing Hannah and
the person that she is and howwell she takes care of you, I
have never felt that fear in theyears that you've been gone that there's not
(13:11):
good care or there's gonna be achance of you being home alone and something
really bad happening. I've never hadthat uncomfortableness while you've been gone, of
not knowing if you were going tobe taken care of properly or even like
kept alive. Like this is atestament to hear that, Yeah, yeah,
(13:33):
how incredible she is as a personfor sure. Yeah, And it
fills me with a lot of joyto know that I don't have to worry
about you and know that you arehaving a really good, productive and happy
life out here with her, evenif it is a thousand miles away,
I'll take it. And in theoldest place and in the coldest place,
(13:54):
which I always seem to visit inthe winter, I come came once in
the summer. It's lay better thissummer. It is. Well, that
was the best heartfelt fan. I'llnever get anything like that. I haven't
a video, so I have itnow. Well, I will go take
the check that you offered me whenwe're done with this. Now that you
say that the trolls, are youto be like, I know it's he
(14:16):
actually is? Okay, he is. If you've ever seen any of our
videos, you probably know that Hannahis the most indecisive person on the planet.
I don't know about that. Iam. I struggle to make decisions,
I'll admit it. So you canimagine how difficult it is for me
(14:37):
to choose a doctor. I mean, how are you even supposed to go
about that? You should use that. They make it very easy. Yes,
when I found out about ZocDoc,I realized I can finally pick a
doctor. All the information is inone place. I'm ready to go.
ZocDoc is a free app and websitewhere you can search and compare highly rated
in network doctors near you, andinstantly book appointments with them online. They
(15:01):
take all the difficulty out of decisionmaking. You can filter specifically for ones
who take your insurance, are locatednear you and treat basically any condition you're
searching for. Plus, the typicalwait time to see a doctor booked on
ZocDoc is between just twenty four toseventy two hours. That's it. You
can even score same day appointments.Is a fantastic option for finding and picking
(15:24):
great doctors in your area. Goto ZocDoc dot com slash junk yard and
download the ZocDoc app for free.Then find and book a toperted doctor today.
That's ZocDoc dot com slash junk yard, ZocDoc dot com slash junk yard.
Hello, welcome back today that you'rejoined by disability advocate Hannah Ailroad.
(15:46):
Joined. I'm here every week exceptfor one. You're pinning on your disability
advocate hat Oh okay, and we'realso joined. We're doing by disability advocate
Shane Burkh not advocate just disability.They're showing about disability right this, disability
disabled shame right here. Uh Yeah, So we're gonna break down some of
(16:07):
the common misperceptions that people have aboutdisability. These ideas are nefarious because ultimately
they lead to real obstruction to thehuman rights of disabled people. Yeah.
So there are real implications here,absolutely, all right, just stereo,
(16:32):
real heavy note. This is thisis awful. All right, let's begin.
Number one, Living with the disabilityis a tragedy that deserves pity.
I feel like that one should beself explainatory, but in case it isn't.
Obviously, we have an idea insociety that being disabled is a terrible
thing, and so disabled people thereforeneed to be treated with pity. Yeah.
(16:56):
I cannot tell you how many intomy life someone has hume up to
me and apologize for what I haveto go through, or someone's saying or
like they're perceived what you have togo through. You know, It's not
like they see something happen to youand they're like, I'm so sorry.
It's like they see when the groceresrun They're like I'm so sorry. Yeah.
(17:18):
Or how people will give me giftsbecause they believe that my life is
so miserable. I'm talking about strangers, Yeah, I mean, like my
parents did a gift. I meanlike strangers come up to money sometimes public
and hand me money twenty bucks onetime to events. Yeah, you know,
a little candy. Probably shouldn't haveaccepted. I did, and they're
(17:45):
giving it to be kind, butit's based on the idea that, like,
was it in the wheelchair, hemust be having a pretty rough time.
Let me give him a gift tomake it day. I remember on
our first ever date, we wereat a little diner and halfway through a
woman from another table got up andcame over and began to pray very loudly,
(18:10):
scream prayer. It was screaming,scream praying over Shane, holding onto
his head. Actually it wasn't reallyover him so much as through him.
Yeah, it was very shocking,but she was screaming like healing prayers,
and everyone in the restaurant was watching, which was mortifying. And then Shane
(18:30):
said, thank you, but Iactually have a very happy life. Please
stop doing that. And she thoughtabout it for a second, like she
was taken aback, and she said, oh, that's not how I meant
it. I was like, actually, it's exactly how you meant it.
That just refuted your entire prayer becauseyou were like, Lord, give him
a better life, and he justsaid he's happy. So yeah, and
(18:53):
it's easy to kind of understand howthis idea came to be prevamily idea of
disability. Our media tells pretty muchonly negative stories about disability. Yeah,
you know, we see somebody getinjured and become paralyzed, and it's portrayed
(19:15):
as the worst possible thing that canhappen to a human. Dam Well,
I think the way it's usually portrayedin the media is also, like this
happened to this person. Can youbelieve that they're still smiling? Yeah,
Like, this person got injured andsomehow they have still found the will to
live, you know, And thishappens again and again, and at no
point have we thought, huh,like most people who become disabled that have
(19:40):
a will to live, Like,maybe this isn't the the thing that we
keep saying like wow, wow wow, But like at a certain point,
it's just how it is, youknow. And obviously people do have negative
experiences with disability and becoming injured,but that's the only thing that we ever
hear about in the media, andthat's not really the norm of the lived
experience. If you list studies examinethe quality of life of disabled people,
(20:07):
it's no different than non disabled people. Yeah, you know, disabled people
are there's people that love their livesand there's people that are less overall satisfied.
Yeah, but there's just normal.Yeah, yeah, there's certainly not
a significant like parents having a badlife. People just like in the general
(20:30):
population, aren't thinking about their disabilitytwenty four seven. You know, yeah
in a negative way. The thingthat bothers me so much is we have
hundreds of hours of video about ourlife together online that people can sensume,
and if you launch any of thatfootage, you should come away with the
(20:51):
idea that we have a wonderful life, like we have things to make us
happy, We travel, we weren't, we have found success, we have
love, you see all that,and yet people still live comments every day
they're like, oh, I feelso bad for him he can't move.
(21:11):
Yeah, how happy I am?I know it doesn't make sense. Yeah,
it makes my brain fizz a littlebit. So that is misconception number
one. Number two is pretty related. Yes, this is very related.
Disabled people are brave slash heroic slashinspirational for living their lives and no,
(21:32):
I am brave, Okay, shanbrave about what? What exactly have you
been brave about in the last tobe a scenario the last week, No,
I want to think of Just tellme one time you were brave this
s Moore down. I woke youup and made it choice, okay,
that I will not let my wretshed, wretched strategy of a disability bring me
(21:55):
down. Mm hmmm. Is thatand then you ate the eggs, Benedict
and the tater tots? Is thatwas that the brave choice? I decided
to wake up and put a smileon my face and go to breakfast and
carry on. Okay, I meanright now, I know they're like,
wait, what, No, thisis very related to the last one.
(22:18):
So when you see people with disabilitiesas a sad thing that you should feel
bad about, and then you seea disabled person at the mall, you
might think, oh, wow,they're at the mall, Like, this
is so sad and yet so amazingand heartwarming that they are out here at
the mall instead of at home crying. Yeah, in the same way that
I am also at the mall.You know, it's but the fact that
(22:42):
they are at the mall is justso amazing and inspirational to me. You
know. It's the same thing asthose posters that you might see of a
disabled person, you know, runninga marathon and yeah, yeah, something
like that. Uh, and itsays no excuses. You know, so
you see a disabled person doing thevery same thing you're doing, and yet
(23:04):
it's supposed to somehow motivate you,you know, to to look at your
life differently, like, wow,you should be so so grateful for what
you have because their life is soso bad. I have done it.
This is again, but I can'ttell you all the time someone has come
up to be in public this isa bad one and literally said, like
(23:26):
often with tears in their eyes,that they are so happy and so inspired
to see me out in the world. Yeah. Period, there is no
more all of it. Not forthe work you've done. I read your
books. No, no, no, no, it's definitely about my professional
career, simply that I am out. And it sounds so ridiculous in today's
(23:51):
day, and as it's generally olderpeople who fall into this way of thinking,
and it's becowns disabled people were lockedaway in institutions and car facilities and
not seen by the general public yearsago. And so now that we are,
you know, getting more resources andaccess in the world and we are
(24:14):
able to like, yeah, it'sa new site for some of the non
disabled population. I will say thoughyou know, I agree that in person,
it does tend to be older peoplewho come up. But if you
see there's so many inspiration porn that'slike what this is referred to, inspiration
(24:34):
porn videos online you'll see like onInstagram or like TikTok, there's a lot
of comments from young people being like, this is so amazing that you know,
this girl with down syndromes asked tothe problem. You know, this
is so incredible that someone would youknow, even think to include her,
you know, stuff like that,And so it's it's like reinforcing it for
(24:55):
every generation. We just keep seeingit again and again. The way we
see it on our YouTube channel mostoften is people leave in comments that say,
wow, if he can get awoman, he should have a wife.
What am I doing wrong? Andthe exception there is again, my
life is so bleak, so miserable, so sad that there should be no
(25:18):
way that I have a wife wholoves me. I should not deserve that.
I figured out some you know,miraculous loophole. You know, I'm
brave, I'm inspirational for this.And whereas like they be on the much
more valuable and worthy non disabled personcan't find well. Those are usually said
(25:42):
with a little bit of hatred towardsyou also, but people also say,
wow, I love that Shane stillhas a sense of humor, that he's
able to joke around, Like,people will say that a lot, and
I just think, you know,they again expect you to be upset because
of this idea that disabled lives arenegative. Mm. It's like the same
two things again and again, andyet they see it so like these videos
(26:06):
go around every day. If yougo on Facebook right now, I'm sure
you can find a video that reinforcesinspiration porn like we see it every day,
and yet no one has thought whilemaybe disabled people are just like doing
regular things. Yeah, how manytimes can you see it before you're like,
maybe this isn't really inspirational to meanymore. A great way that you
can kind of counter out this ifyou if you are realizing that maybe you
(26:29):
do fall into this way of thanking, Yeah, follow more disabled people.
You know, there are plenty ofdisabled creators and influencers out there that you
can follow to a be entertained,but be to learn about their experiences and
all the ones that we follow madeof them like they make content that shows
(26:52):
how amazing andru their life is.And then when you start to see these
videos that go around, you're gonnabe like, this is this feels weird
now? You know? So ifyou see a video of kids playing on
a playground and one of them isdisabled and it's you know, the point
is that it's heartwarming that there's adisabled child being included. You know,
if all those kids weren't disabled,would you think that that's a heartwarming video?
Or is that just kind of weirdto post a video of kids on
(27:15):
a playground. Maybe disabled people shouldjust be included and it doesn't need to
be a yeah exactly. M somethingto think about. Mm hm, all
right, we have two more misanceptions. All right. The next one caregiving
is always an immense burden and thosewho caregive should be glorified and praised for
their selflessness. All right, caregiver, how do you feel about that one?
(27:37):
Well, this one irritates me quitea bit. I think you can
find examples of this in our commentsections of people either saying I'm making a
terrible choice by being married to Shaneand ruining my life with caregiving, or
saying it's so amazing of me tomake this sacrifice to be married to Shane
and to caregive. And before wetalk more about this one, we are
(27:59):
not saying that caregiving is never hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah it is
for some people it is. Yeah, But again, by and large,
it is not a rule that caregivingmust be an immense ari. That's the
thing simply is not true. It'slike if we thought about, you know,
parenting, like having kids is ahorrible, horrible choice, and anytime
(28:22):
you would kids, someone was like, that's gonna ruin your life. It's
just like a it's very weird,Like, yes, some people it's it's
often very difficult having kids. There'sa lot of really hard parts about it.
Whatever, But that's not like whatwe should have is the overwhelming idea
of like the having kids. Yeah, it's the same kind of thing.
Where why would you have that bethe narrative? Would you say, on
(28:42):
the spectrum of caregiving, yeah,at least involved, the most involved,
you'd probably fall on the higher endof that scale. With my care you
think, well, I was gonnasay lower end. Yeah, really that's
example of how it feels. ButI feel like my level of care,
even though it's like fairly minimal youneed to do the almost like get me
(29:06):
on the toilight. I think it'smiddle. I think it's metal because I
think it could be a lot morelike if you had medical equipment that needed
to be like adjusted every fifteen minutes. Are you saying that my wheelchair is
not metal? No, it doesn'tneed to be adjusted. I'm just saying
I feel like there's things that couldbe like time sensitive, and you don't
really have any of that, youknow. My basic point was that Hannah
(29:26):
performs a level of care for methat I think many people feel like is
like the top of the carry givenstep drum. Yeah, yeah, Canna
as you just heard reports that it'sthe low end or maybe the medal.
Yeah, carry give in for usis seamlessly incorporated in our day. When
(29:47):
we make up together, hand Iget to be dressed and gets yourself dressed,
Like we eat breakfast together, sothat hand I can't help me to
take bites. Yeah. And Ithink a lot of people who don't have
experience with caregiving will kind of equateit to having kids, you know,
like people who have kids are likehaving it pet. But I'm just saying
(30:10):
people who don't have experience are likehm, what is this, Like it's
like having kids, and so theythink to themselves, Oh my god,
I could never have kids and caregivefor like another kid. I don't know,
or like worse than kids. Idon't know what they're thinking, but
we get that a lot of likeI could never ever do that, And
I think people are thinking about itin a very specific way of like Shane
(30:30):
is not contributing anything to the relationship. Yeah, like how could Hannah handle
him and a kid? Like weget that all the time. But Shane
is an equal partner in the relationship, So he's getting a lot of stuff
done throughout the day that I thinkpeople aren't giving him credit for. Like
I have a lot of free time. I'm one of the lazier people that
(30:52):
you might meet. I'm not ago getter. I enjoy leisure, and
Shane does a lot of stuff duringthe day and the hours and hours that
that you're allounging that trying to escapefrom doing work. Our life would not
be afloat if it were not forme. I am proud to say that
that's true. Shane keeps everything afloat. Uh So, yeah, I just
I think that they have a veryskewed perspective of what Shane does and what
(31:17):
I do. Yeah, and again, I think that really tempts back to
the stories that our media tells whenwe see caregivers in movies and in books,
they are giving up wonderful things topartake in the kind of selfless act
of taking care of someone. Yeah, it's seen the sacrifice. Yeah,
(31:37):
and for us and many other interabledhubbles that we know, it's just not
in that category and not something thateither individual feels like is a burden or
sacrifice. Yeah, ready to moveon. Number This is the big number
four, the big to say peopledon't have sex or intimacy or romance.
(32:04):
Not true, not true. Thisis another one that you can find in
the comment sections of our videos.People just take I wouldn't do that if
I were you. But man,do people think that Shane and other any
disabled person can't have sex or doesn'twant to? I don't know, Yeah,
(32:30):
in in like a mandated I don'tknow in what way they think you
can't. I guess physically. Iguess they think that like your physical organs
wouldn't function well. That and myattraction, yeah, my ability to attract
partner as no true. So andeven if you did, it wouldn't work.
There's no physical way, because weget a lot of like there's no
(32:52):
physical way that they could to theirline. And again, I shouldn't have
to say these caviat I know,obviously there are disability these that affect sexual
function, but that is not therule. It's not the overwhelming majority all
of these. I mean, we'renot saying that any of these are never
true. Of course, everything thatwe're saying is true for some people.
(33:13):
But it's just the fact that thisis how we frame it, you know,
point blank in society is the problem. Yeah, when Handah and I
begin our channel, we never reallyconsidered the idea that people would question our
intimacy, our love romance, andboy did they hu you know, the
(33:36):
biggest like, I mean, allthe criticisms, but they're more just troll.
How much that we get that wegot in the beginning was like there
is no way that you two arehaving sets and you're lying to the world
saying that you do because disabled peoplehand not you know, do that do
(33:57):
that? Yeah. I also seea lot of comments kind of from us,
like I'll get some that are sayinglike it's inappropriate that I would be
intimate with you, you know,like in a in a way like people
have called me a pedophile because you'resmaller, Like there's no way like that
that should be like illegal. No, it's not what pedopile means. And
(34:20):
uh, I often see that,Like we get comments that are like if
this, if the roles the genderswere reversed, this would be illegal,
meaning like a disabled woman and anon disabled man, that would be illegal.
It's just wild to me that peoplethink that disabled people can't consent to
intimacy. And I think that kindof policing happens a lot more with mental
disabilities, but it also does happenwith physical disabilities, where people say,
(34:45):
you know that that should be illegalto have sex with a disabled person.
All of these yeah people are notfull yeah, or adults that all,
you know, shouldn't be considered adults. This is a I'm silly, but
disabled paper. I can have sets. They can be amazing romantic partners.
(35:07):
Yeah, you don't know, likepat me on the bath. As I'm
saying all this, I'm panning onthe back. They be really good at
sets. You know that we arejust asceptual as our non disabled counter parts.
Yeah, and that is the overwhelmingrule. Yeah, not the opposite,
(35:28):
Not the opposite. I remember thisis going back a couple of years
too, when I was in college. Also, it's gonna be my fifth
college reunion next year. Can youbelieve that? I'm so grown? I'm
seriously an adult now. But goingback to my senior year of college,
I was writing my senior thesis aboutdisability misconceptions. I know, speak of
the just read that paper today,I should have. But one of the
(35:52):
things that I was interviewing about fortyphysically disabled people, and one of the
things that came up again and againin misconceptions was this intimacy thing. So
I was reading a lot of papersabout disability and intimacy, and I remember
I read a lot of stuff,but one thing stuck out to me that
I still remember, and it wasa paper about I think it was spinal
(36:14):
cord injuries. Like I think itwas just about that, But I remember
there was one woman in that paperwho said that after she became injured.
I don't remember where her injury wason her spine. I don't know if
it was just like waist down,but it was I think it was like
chest down, because I remember hersaying that after her injury, her body
(36:35):
like created new pleasure areas on herbody and they were way more intense than
she had had before the injury,and so her sex after the injury was
a lot more vibrant. I'll usethat word. I can't remember what she
said, but it was it wasshe had intense. Yeah, better better
(36:58):
intimacy after her injury because of theway her body adjusted. In the book
that Hen and I are writing rightnow, where we're interviewing other interable helpfuls,
it's something that we've heard time andtime again that disability actually enhances their
intimacy because it requires martimmunication, itrequires creativity. Yeah, and those almost
(37:22):
helped out in the bedroom. Yeah. Well, it's funny because you see
all those studies about heterosexual couples thatlike, the women don't have it's always
bad, it's always Yeah, it'swhat I wish I had it in front
of me, like I should haveprepared for this with this. But it's
something like sixty percent of women don'torgasm when they have sex, and a
heterosexual big numbers is sick. Itmight have been like forty or Yeah,
(37:44):
sixty percent don't. It's something aroundthere. It's a lot of people don't.
And then I wish I remember thenumbers, but I know that in
lesbian relationships it's higher, like it'sa lot higher, way way higher,
maybe like eighty ninety percent, butthey do, yeah exactly, that it's
way more pleasurable for the women inthe relationship in that case. And I
would love to see a study abouteither just like disability and relationships or in
(38:07):
table relationships. I would love tosee the ranked pleasure of the people in
those relationships because I really feel likeit would be way way higher, like
on par with the queer relationships andnot study. I thoroughly believe that my
disability makes our sets life better.Yeah, and this is a topic that
(38:27):
like we don't want to give toomany personal details, yeah, but like
it has required more communication, morecreativity to find ways that work well for
ours yea. And those ways workwell for us, yeah exactly. And
so you know, without kind ofthat need to experiment differently, we probably
never would have arrived that those neware the ways of doing them was that
(38:52):
are great for us? Well,clearly a lot of people don't if you
look at that study. But yeah, so this is another one that like,
it's kind of one of the mainpoints of our channel that you know,
an interibular relationship is just as fullof passion and romance and love as
(39:12):
any older Yeah. Again, notthe story that we are getting in our
society and not at all. Sothose are our misconceptions. Yeah, there
are so many more out there inthe world that we could do ours on
this topic. I we'll save morefor the future. But we hope that
(39:35):
this made you think and analyze howyou perceive disabled people. Yeah, and
take it to hurt all right,we'll be right back than Due to our
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to everyplate dot com slash podcast andentering code forty nine. Junk Yard Pod
subscription must be active to qualify andredeem one dollar state. All right,
we are back, and now weare going to tell you about the true
drama from the week, Shane's Idon't even know what to call it,
(41:49):
Shane's descent into Yeah, panic,yep, misery, uh huh, fear,
uh huh, chaos, Wow,junk yard mayhem. Do you want
to tell them about it? Thatshould be our new tagline. No fear,
no misery, no chaos, Nope, Jack Jared Maham, No it
began well nor I have an idiotcontact here. I have a very specific
(42:15):
way of assisting myself to chew myfood. If you're listening and not watch
him, it's going to be hardto demonstrate visually for you, But basically,
I, with the help of someoneelse, prop my arms and kind
(42:36):
of my wrists under my own chinto act as a assistant for my chewing
mechanism. And then yeah, andthen you push down on your wrists and
it makes your jaw stronger. Canyou describe what it's like dead in my
arms in that position. Yeah,So you have to put Shane's elbow in
(42:58):
a certain spot on his arm rest, and then the other elbow in a
certain spot on his arm rest.Two elbows, and then the hands meet
under his chin, and what holdsthem there is one thumb kind of under
the other wrist, and then thethumb has to be in a very specific
spot to you know, balance correctlyfor all the pressure that he's going to
put on them. Emphasis on specificspot. Yeah, this kind of feels
(43:22):
like building a house of herds whenwe're positioning in my arms. Hannah is
a veteran, and you know itcan do this in three seconds. You
know, Andrew, my brother whowas here helping take care of me while
Hannah was in San Diego, hasdone this. But it's been ten years,
(43:49):
seven eight years. And you usedto put your thumb there yourself at
the bottom, and then you wouldpull your arms up like someone would help
pull your arms up. Yet,in a little bit, heare something is
not new. It's been like yearsand years. But I don't think Andrew
ever really did like the thumb placement. Yeah, you're right, he may
not ask. He just did likearm placement. So you'd probably imagine where
(44:09):
this might be yelling, but it'sso much worse than what you did on
dead one. When Andrew arrived Hannah'syawn. It became time. Well it
was before Andrew ride. It waswith my MoMu Oh my god, I
forgot about that. Okay, SoShane texts me this is while I'm probably
on the plane still. I hadleft at nine fifteen am, and so
(44:35):
we Shane hadn't eaten breakfast yet oranything, and he was going to eat
with my mom after she dropped meoff at the airport. So at like
eleven or so, I get atext from Shane saying, I was trying
to have noodles for breakfast or something, but I couldn't get my arms into
the right spot with your mom.Like we just couldn't figure it out.
So I ended up eating with myarms down and I didn't eat a lot.
(44:58):
Like annoying. Yeah, this justhappened, like spelled throughout the last
five years, like randomly here andthere. I'll just be tired one day
and like it does take a lotof my energy and strength to keep my
arms in that position. You know, the positioning is very important, but
then I have to use energy tohold my arms there, so you know,
(45:22):
I figure I didn't sleep a lotthe night before Handle left because we
were stressed and we were busy andwaking up early, so I'm probably tired.
I know very well how to describeto someone how to put my arms
in this position, so like Andrewmom has done it before, Like it
(45:42):
didn't feel like an error of positioning. I was just like, yeah,
I'm tired, that's weird. Laterthat night, the same thing happens to
Andrew and I, and this onefelt more like, Okay, Andrew is
just new to this. He hasn'tput my arms up how we refer to
it, so maybe it's just thething of like I'm not describing it the
(46:05):
right way. But we were ata restaurant and it was pretty frustrated,
like he would get my thumb rightright it needed to be, and my
thumb would just give way, yeah, making my arms fall and making it
very difficult for me to eat ameal, like I can't chew more than
a few bites without my arms helpingme. So again my tat had I'm
(46:30):
like, okay, like another mealdidn't really work out, like I didn't
have a whole lot because my armswouldn't stay up. And at that point,
I'm like, Shane, you needto sit down and figure out how
to get your arms up like Inow two people have tried. I don't
think you're giving it your best shot, Like you need to figure this out.
Just sit there and do it againand again until you get it,
(46:52):
you know. Because you were like, well, what did you have for
dinner? Yeah? And I waslike wine, yeah, And I'm like,
you need to be eating food thisweek. The next few days didn't
improve, yeah, and it beganto really scare me. Yep. I
was certain, completely certain that Iwas explaining to Andrew the correct way to
(47:15):
put my arms up. It feltlike I was in the right position and
then they would fall. It justwasn't working. And I began to tell
Hannah like, I know, thisis really weird timing, but I think
I'm getting recare like that I havea progressive neuromuscular aundition. And that's not
(47:37):
what you said I've got. Well, no, no, no, I'm
just I know it just sounded likeit was all the message you sent me,
Hannah. I have to tell yousomething. I have a neuromuscular audition.
I get rehare anyway. Yeah,I was just beginning to really fret,
and I was not because I waslike, Shane, there is no
way that this coincidence has occurred thatyou you suddenly in an hour since I
(48:01):
left, became way weaker and arestaying that way, Like there's just I
was like, I don't buy it. There's just no possible way, and
you were like, well that's howit is. Like I'm weak now.
And my brother like really really wantedto figure this out, like more than
me. After like three or fourattempts of it not working, I was
(48:23):
the one that was like, allright, I'll just eat some like dip,
like soft, softer food because Ididn't want him to think that it
was his fault and I just didn'twant the awkwardness of it. Yea.
So rather than sitting there for ahalf hour trying or whatever, I often
(48:43):
was just like, all right,I'll eat something that's soft and makes it
easy. Yep. Andrew was like, we you can figure it out,
Like come on. Inside my mindthough I am again certain that I am
getting me here, that I willnever be able to put my arms up
to eat it. Again, andI'm like envisioning my future now, like
(49:04):
planning. Okay, this means Ineed to always eat only soft food or
maybe I need to feed into youagain. And I'm freaking out. Yeah,
trying really hard not to like tellall this to hear that a lot,
because like you know, I don'twant to worry her on her trip.
But here and there, I waslike, arms didn't work it again.
Yeah it's happening. Yeah, thisis here to stay. Yeah.
(49:29):
So I'm getting these texts. I'mworried about it more in like Shane's not
eating enough this week. I don'tknow if I was really thinking like about
your future. But I got homeand at the minute I got home,
I was like Shane, like,I'm going to try to put your arms
up, like I really, Ican't believe they're like kissed hellowe. And
then she was like all right,I'm going to try your arms. Yeah.
(49:50):
I was like I can't believe whatyou've been telling me. I need
to see this for myself, likelet me just do it. And Shane
was like, no, I don'twant you to do it. I didn't
want to face the truth. Yeah, because you were like it's not it's
not like it wasn't Andrew, itwasn't your mom. Like it was the
fact that my arms no longer dothis and I don't want to face that.
And I was like, Shane,we have to try, like we
have to. So Shane finally wewent in the bedroom alone. Like this
(50:13):
is a big thing for Shane.I was very worried. You were so
worried. We go in there.I put his arms up. They kind
of like flop it first, andI'm like, no, the thumb just
wasn't in the right spot. Youwere like, see see vindication. Uh
huh. I do it one moretime and they stay And Shane was like,
yeah, I've never seen you inmore shock than that. And so
(50:37):
I like put my arms down andyou know, we went about our night
and then I we ate dinner later. Yeah, and I was like,
all right, try again, yep. And they went up on the first
try yep, and they stayed.Yeah. I couldn't believe it for like
a week. I was like shockedthat it was worthy again. I know,
you're still very grateful that it's working, so happy every time it happens,
(51:00):
You're like, wow, this isgreat. I visited the land of
the week and I returned to theland of the show. Yeah, nope,
it's still very But it must havebeen some error in my exultation.
Yeah, you know, something thatfelt like it was right, but like,
(51:21):
you know, yeah, isn't right. But android your mom wouldn't have
noticed that. I don't know.But basically the Rand conclusion here is that
you need to give seminars to everyonein our network. Yeah about how to
put We should probably sit down withmy mom and like show her, you
know, I should do it withher like hands on our hands together with
(51:44):
my dry dry ointment. Yea,Now they're not even sweaty, so you'll
be even stickier. Yeah, thatwas it. Maybe because I didn't have
my ointment. Then well you've neverhad your ointment before, so maybe it
was my obsessive sweat. Maybe itwas I couldn't have helped to you,
poor Andrew. So that was likethe main drama of the week, and
(52:10):
it was SERI it was genuinely scaryon my end, at least on Handa's
end. She was like, it'sjust you're not doing it there. Yeah,
I had a feeling, but Iknew it was scary for you.
All right, everyone, if youenjoyed this podcast, or if you didn't
subscribe, follow review star five starcomment. What is our outro going to
(52:36):
be today? Shane? I don'tknow the pressure of these is really building.
Uh do you have any No,this is not my job. I
take zero responsibility for how we exitour podcast. It is a jet yard
out there, filled with toilets justthe way down your next beautiful selfie,
(52:58):
take it, post it, loveit, oh, bop it? All
right, these go on too long. You need to learn brevity, fear.
Goodbye everybody else, mister jet yardh
Yay Networks. Watch him back.We're back in my purple chair, the
chair that began it all, infront of our ugly brown curtains, right
back where we started this podcast.This is the final episode of Gentle Mayhem
Season one, and we thought itwould be really fun to take them up
(00:23):
back at some of our best,weirdest, funniest moments from this podcast.
It's gonna be good the whole yearto work with. It's like, basically,
it's amazing for you because you're gettinga highlight reel without having to watch
maybe our more boring parts. Youknow, and and I can be pretty
(00:44):
boring. True, We're not goingto drone on and on about stuff.
Yeah, so please enjoy this bestof episode. We're very excited. Let's
begin. Well well, well wow, that was a nice little headspin.
(01:06):
Who are you? I am Andrew? Everyone, my brother Andrew Bertel,
for the first time ever is appearing. I'm Jack Jared Mayhew. I I've
been on videos before. But yeah, so I think that we should spend
most of our time today telling somestories and memories from growing up together.
(01:27):
I think that's a good idea,and we have quite a few. I
did. We should begin with thetime that I made you into a human
public system, so that you countthe basketball. I'd like to hear your
perspective. I've told this story amillion times. I tell it in every
(01:49):
speeching engagement I do Hannah, youknow, we do speeches together, and
she loves to make fun of likehow unsafe this was. But why don't
you go ahead and tell the storyas you remember it. I feel like
we have to start with saying whywe wanted to do it. Yes,
so, growing up, our friendpat uh he had a basketball hoop,
(02:15):
one of those where you could adjustthe height of it. And we also
had the small little urban rebounder trampolineswhere if we put the basketball hoop all
the way down and use the trampoline, we could like maybe dunk's at about
trampoline just barely totally tampolaine and like, so we were playing basketball all the
(02:35):
time, and of course dunking islike the coolest thing you can do as
a human being. Around this time, you were probably nine, I should
say, yeah's somewhere in that teneleven, right, Shane's twelve, pats
ten or eleven. Yeah, kids, we want to dunk a real dunk,
like on a ten foot hoop,not using the champlaine, not using
the trampoline. Correct, So beinglike four feet tall and a half.
(03:00):
I don't know how tall yar atnine. You can't dunk at that age,
but if you have someone who canpull you up with a rope,
you can dunk. And so wethought, hmm, Andrews, a little
smaller will be the guinea pig let'stie a really raspy, thick, not
(03:22):
nice rope around his waist. Ialways say it was like a not at
all yeah, correct, and onethat had been used often, so there
were a lot of little pieces stickingout all over the place. Yeah,
it didn't feel good around my waist, doesn't feel good already, and then
loop it up over the basketball hoop, through through the hoop somewhere up.
(03:46):
Yeah, it would have to bethat way down to Shane's chair to the
front, so that he could continuewatching and still and reverse to pull us
back up instead of like turned arounddriving away. He won't be able to
see the dunk. So it wasreally about my pleasure. I'm sure that
that came up a lot, andI'd start going up. It is working
(04:12):
amazing, which is amazing. Elevenyear old figure. We are physicists,
we are sciences, we're engineers,and we deserve compensations. We are set
for a lifetime of Richard's and inventionsand patents. Yes, And right after
that we get stuck, sort of. We get up about halfway, well,
(04:34):
you're pretty high, and then wehear some screaming, which was our
dad, I believe because you cansee their backyard from our backyard when we
were growing up, and I'm surehe looked over and saw my son's in
the air and he's connected to thewheelchair. That's not good. So he
(04:59):
runs over. All the while Shane'sstill trying to back up, because we're
at the point where like, well, you probably understood pool. He's better
back then, but I don't understandhim now. It's easier in the beginning
once you get up towards the actuallyit gets harder, so there's more pressure
on the wheelchair. I'm in fullreverse reverse. I'm sure there was,
(05:24):
so it's like Yankee night chair.Ye. Power still didn't get up,
and then Dad begins to screen.Dad begins to scream, tell us to
stop because he sees the wheelchair,knowing that it's getting screwed up and we
broke the wheelchair. Well, ohyeah, you jumped right to it.
And I don't even really know ifI dunked. You never don't, I
(05:47):
don't. I think I just blockedthat part out because it was so traumatizing.
Yeah, I never got to dunk, but you try to. Never
the biggest leg piece of it here, as we already entered down, we
saw that my wheelchair only tearing onedirection like I did, only tear it
in a sharehole, didn't drive straight, didn't tear the other way. All
(06:08):
of that like effort that my chairwas giving. All that smoke was the
motors in my chair destroying themselves likemeltale. Like yeah, they were toasted.
And the replacement host of that waslike eight thousand dollars. It was
a lot, so we were Wemight have been drownded for a few days,
(06:29):
Oh yeah, for sure, butno ropes for a couple of days.
Was it worth it? Do youthink? Absolutely? You can only
learn through failure in life? Wow, that is that is one thing that
I live by. You fail forward, you don't fail back. These are
life lessons fail forward and all right, so these are all kind of our
(06:50):
jet yard mayhem sports stories. Youknow, us being silly kids. You
are a adult. I'm an adultsometimes yeah, mostly, so I'm gonna
switch from kind of all those sillyto a little bit more serious. Now,
are you gonna be able to handlethat for a short amount of time?
I can maybe gave you a coupleof minutes. All right, You're
(07:12):
allowed to still Joe, but let'skeep it with a level of seriousness.
As you know, and I areYouTubers now podcasts here are are you familiar?
Nor drugs? On YouTube? Alittle over a million followers? Thank
you? Subscribe, thank you.And as we've been doing that over the
(07:40):
last four or five years, youknow, our family knows that a very
common reaction that we get to ourvideos is this assumption and the assertion that
Hannah and I are not in areal relationship, that I am either paying
(08:07):
her or she's using me, oryou know, there's a myriad number of
theories about how we are faith andnot in love, and all of those
ideas are based on the presumption thatI am not a valuable partner. I
could never be a lovable husband forHannah. I'm going to get like your
(08:33):
Kate on everything about that and justlike let you how you feel. How
does that make you feel? Asmy brother, Well, to start off,
you're not a good lover. I'mjust gonna throw that out there.
No, I mean it was theweirdest word was the one that I chose
(08:54):
very carefully. But yeah, obviouslygrowing up we experience that as well,
just not we weren't lovers. Ijust want to throw that out there.
Just people seeing you drive around andI think they would just judge because they
(09:15):
wouldn't understand it and underestimate, theyunderestimate you, and they just they paint
the picture in their head. AndI think the biggest thing, whether it
was our childhood or you're in Hannah'scareer and life together, I think that
for society, it's a lot easierto if you don't understand something, paint
your own picture in your head.You make your own narrative when you don't
(09:39):
understand something. It's so much easierthan going out of your way to change
your viewpoint and your understanding and educateyourself. It's so much easier to just
not do that and paint your ownpicture in your head, which is what
people do, and it's it hasto be human nature. Because people just
do that. It's some people,not everyone. Correct. Yeah, I
(10:03):
guess I'm not. I'm paying societyin a very bad life. There are
people who who choose to do thatrather than figure out what is going on.
And whether it's you guys or anything, I think that you guys are
doing a really good job with youryour videos and everything that you're doing with
(10:24):
work to be that education for peoplethat it's okay to be different. It's
okay that things don't look like thethe norm that you're used to seeing.
Doesn't make them wrong or bad orfake or fake. It is just different.
And I feel like as a wholewe are shifting towards being able to
(10:50):
have that. I mean, there'sall different people are being embraced, embraced
and being represented way more than theyever have been at this point in society,
and you guys are part of thatin terms of educating people. This
is so heartfelt. I'm grading myteeth together so hard right now, I'm
trying. I'm just getting punched.Yeah, you can't believe you made me
(11:15):
say that. I mean, Iappreciate that, sincerely, I don't mean
it. What has been your kindof legs like put in the YouTube steff
aside perspective or like thoughts on myrelationship with Handa, like you've been there
every sip of the way. Youknow, you used to be one of
my primary caregivers. And then asHannah and I fell in love, like
(11:39):
she took that over as we beganto spend him one of my time together
and now we live together. Lookslike well, I mean, other than
the fact that you're like really proudof me, none of that is actually
true. I remember when you left. I feel like for both of us,
it was really hard that day whenyou made that call all to move
(12:01):
to Minnesota. That was a reallydifficult day for both of us because it
was the end of an era.But I remember the first thing you said
to me. I sat you downin the basement and I was telling you
about it. And the first thingyou've said, you lized, so can
I have your spots? I neededthe Xbox. I needed to make sure
(12:22):
that I could still play my videogames. But no, I in my
best man speech, I had thoughtof a good way to Andrew is my
best man to describe how I feltabout you guys, And I had I
had described a story about another timewhere you almost died. This time not
(12:43):
my fault, thankfully, but justa really scary moment in our life where
you had no one to take careof you and I had to rush home
to make sure that nothing bad happened. And knowing you and knowing Hannah and
the person that she is and howwell she takes care of you, I
have never felt that fear in theyears that you've been gone that there's not
(13:11):
good care or there's gonna be achance of you being home alone and something
really bad happening. I've never hadthat uncomfortableness while you've been gone, of
not knowing if you were going tobe taken care of properly or even like
kept alive. Like this is atestament to hear that, Yeah, yeah,
(13:33):
how incredible she is as a personfor sure. Yeah, And it
fills me with a lot of joyto know that I don't have to worry
about you and know that you arehaving a really good, productive and happy
life out here with her, evenif it is a thousand miles away,
I'll take it. And in theoldest place and in the coldest place,
(13:54):
which I always seem to visit inthe winter, I come came once in
the summer. It's lay better thissummer. It is. Well, that
was the best heartfelt fan. I'llnever get anything like that. I haven't
a video, so I have itnow. Well, I will go take
the check that you offered me whenwe're done with this. Now that you
say that the trolls, are youto be like, I know it's he
(14:16):
actually is? Okay, he is. If you've ever seen any of our
videos, you probably know that Hannahis the most indecisive person on the planet.
I don't know about that. Iam. I struggle to make decisions,
I'll admit it. So you canimagine how difficult it is for me
(14:37):
to choose a doctor. I mean, how are you even supposed to go
about that? You should use that. They make it very easy. Yes,
when I found out about ZocDoc,I realized I can finally pick a
doctor. All the information is inone place. I'm ready to go.
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(15:01):
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ZocDoc is between just twenty four toseventy two hours. That's it. You
can even score same day appointments.Is a fantastic option for finding and picking
(15:24):
great doctors in your area. Goto ZocDoc dot com slash junk yard and
download the ZocDoc app for free.Then find and book a toperted doctor today.
That's ZocDoc dot com slash junk yard, ZocDoc dot com slash junk yard.
Hello, welcome back today that you'rejoined by disability advocate Hannah Ailroad.
(15:46):
Joined. I'm here every week exceptfor one. You're pinning on your disability
advocate hat Oh okay, and we'realso joined. We're doing by disability advocate
Shane Burkh not advocate just disability.They're showing about disability right this, disability
disabled shame right here. Uh Yeah, So we're gonna break down some of
(16:07):
the common misperceptions that people have aboutdisability. These ideas are nefarious because ultimately
they lead to real obstruction to thehuman rights of disabled people. Yeah.
So there are real implications here,absolutely, all right, just stereo,
(16:32):
real heavy note. This is thisis awful. All right, let's begin.
Number one, Living with the disabilityis a tragedy that deserves pity.
I feel like that one should beself explainatory, but in case it isn't.
Obviously, we have an idea insociety that being disabled is a terrible
thing, and so disabled people thereforeneed to be treated with pity. Yeah.
(16:56):
I cannot tell you how many intomy life someone has hume up to
me and apologize for what I haveto go through, or someone's saying or
like they're perceived what you have togo through. You know, It's not
like they see something happen to youand they're like, I'm so sorry.
It's like they see when the groceresrun They're like I'm so sorry. Yeah.
(17:18):
Or how people will give me giftsbecause they believe that my life is
so miserable. I'm talking about strangers, Yeah, I mean, like my
parents did a gift. I meanlike strangers come up to money sometimes public
and hand me money twenty bucks onetime to events. Yeah, you know,
a little candy. Probably shouldn't haveaccepted. I did, and they're
(17:45):
giving it to be kind, butit's based on the idea that, like,
was it in the wheelchair, hemust be having a pretty rough time.
Let me give him a gift tomake it day. I remember on
our first ever date, we wereat a little diner and halfway through a
woman from another table got up andcame over and began to pray very loudly,
(18:10):
scream prayer. It was screaming,scream praying over Shane, holding onto
his head. Actually it wasn't reallyover him so much as through him.
Yeah, it was very shocking,but she was screaming like healing prayers,
and everyone in the restaurant was watching, which was mortifying. And then Shane
(18:30):
said, thank you, but Iactually have a very happy life. Please
stop doing that. And she thoughtabout it for a second, like she
was taken aback, and she said, oh, that's not how I meant
it. I was like, actually, it's exactly how you meant it.
That just refuted your entire prayer becauseyou were like, Lord, give him
a better life, and he justsaid he's happy. So yeah, and
(18:53):
it's easy to kind of understand howthis idea came to be prevamily idea of
disability. Our media tells pretty muchonly negative stories about disability. Yeah,
you know, we see somebody getinjured and become paralyzed, and it's portrayed
(19:15):
as the worst possible thing that canhappen to a human. Dam Well,
I think the way it's usually portrayedin the media is also, like this
happened to this person. Can youbelieve that they're still smiling? Yeah,
Like, this person got injured andsomehow they have still found the will to
live, you know, And thishappens again and again, and at no
point have we thought, huh,like most people who become disabled that have
(19:40):
a will to live, Like,maybe this isn't the the thing that we
keep saying like wow, wow wow, But like at a certain point,
it's just how it is, youknow. And obviously people do have negative
experiences with disability and becoming injured,but that's the only thing that we ever
hear about in the media, andthat's not really the norm of the lived
experience. If you list studies examinethe quality of life of disabled people,
(20:07):
it's no different than non disabled people. Yeah, you know, disabled people
are there's people that love their livesand there's people that are less overall satisfied.
Yeah, but there's just normal.Yeah, yeah, there's certainly not
a significant like parents having a badlife. People just like in the general
(20:30):
population, aren't thinking about their disabilitytwenty four seven. You know, yeah
in a negative way. The thingthat bothers me so much is we have
hundreds of hours of video about ourlife together online that people can sensume,
and if you launch any of thatfootage, you should come away with the
(20:51):
idea that we have a wonderful life, like we have things to make us
happy, We travel, we weren't, we have found success, we have
love, you see all that,and yet people still live comments every day
they're like, oh, I feelso bad for him he can't move.
(21:11):
Yeah, how happy I am?I know it doesn't make sense. Yeah,
it makes my brain fizz a littlebit. So that is misconception number
one. Number two is pretty related. Yes, this is very related.
Disabled people are brave slash heroic slashinspirational for living their lives and no,
(21:32):
I am brave, Okay, shanbrave about what? What exactly have you
been brave about in the last tobe a scenario the last week, No,
I want to think of Just tellme one time you were brave this
s Moore down. I woke youup and made it choice, okay,
that I will not let my wretshed, wretched strategy of a disability bring me
(21:55):
down. Mm hmmm. Is thatand then you ate the eggs, Benedict
and the tater tots? Is thatwas that the brave choice? I decided
to wake up and put a smileon my face and go to breakfast and
carry on. Okay, I meanright now, I know they're like,
wait, what, No, thisis very related to the last one.
(22:18):
So when you see people with disabilitiesas a sad thing that you should feel
bad about, and then you seea disabled person at the mall, you
might think, oh, wow,they're at the mall, Like, this
is so sad and yet so amazingand heartwarming that they are out here at
the mall instead of at home crying. Yeah, in the same way that
I am also at the mall.You know, it's but the fact that
(22:42):
they are at the mall is justso amazing and inspirational to me. You
know. It's the same thing asthose posters that you might see of a
disabled person, you know, runninga marathon and yeah, yeah, something
like that. Uh, and itsays no excuses. You know, so
you see a disabled person doing thevery same thing you're doing, and yet
(23:04):
it's supposed to somehow motivate you,you know, to to look at your
life differently, like, wow,you should be so so grateful for what
you have because their life is soso bad. I have done it.
This is again, but I can'ttell you all the time someone has come
up to be in public this isa bad one and literally said, like
(23:26):
often with tears in their eyes,that they are so happy and so inspired
to see me out in the world. Yeah. Period, there is no
more all of it. Not forthe work you've done. I read your
books. No, no, no, no, it's definitely about my professional
career, simply that I am out. And it sounds so ridiculous in today's
(23:51):
day, and as it's generally olderpeople who fall into this way of thinking,
and it's becowns disabled people were lockedaway in institutions and car facilities and
not seen by the general public yearsago. And so now that we are,
you know, getting more resources andaccess in the world and we are
(24:14):
able to like, yeah, it'sa new site for some of the non
disabled population. I will say thoughyou know, I agree that in person,
it does tend to be older peoplewho come up. But if you
see there's so many inspiration porn that'slike what this is referred to, inspiration
(24:34):
porn videos online you'll see like onInstagram or like TikTok, there's a lot
of comments from young people being like, this is so amazing that you know,
this girl with down syndromes asked tothe problem. You know, this
is so incredible that someone would youknow, even think to include her,
you know, stuff like that,And so it's it's like reinforcing it for
(24:55):
every generation. We just keep seeingit again and again. The way we
see it on our YouTube channel mostoften is people leave in comments that say,
wow, if he can get awoman, he should have a wife.
What am I doing wrong? Andthe exception there is again, my
life is so bleak, so miserable, so sad that there should be no
(25:18):
way that I have a wife wholoves me. I should not deserve that.
I figured out some you know,miraculous loophole. You know, I'm
brave, I'm inspirational for this.And whereas like they be on the much
more valuable and worthy non disabled personcan't find well. Those are usually said
(25:42):
with a little bit of hatred towardsyou also, but people also say,
wow, I love that Shane stillhas a sense of humor, that he's
able to joke around, Like,people will say that a lot, and
I just think, you know,they again expect you to be upset because
of this idea that disabled lives arenegative. Mm. It's like the same
two things again and again, andyet they see it so like these videos
(26:06):
go around every day. If yougo on Facebook right now, I'm sure
you can find a video that reinforcesinspiration porn like we see it every day,
and yet no one has thought whilemaybe disabled people are just like doing
regular things. Yeah, how manytimes can you see it before you're like,
maybe this isn't really inspirational to meanymore. A great way that you
can kind of counter out this ifyou if you are realizing that maybe you
(26:29):
do fall into this way of thanking, Yeah, follow more disabled people.
You know, there are plenty ofdisabled creators and influencers out there that you
can follow to a be entertained,but be to learn about their experiences and
all the ones that we follow madeof them like they make content that shows
(26:52):
how amazing andru their life is.And then when you start to see these
videos that go around, you're gonnabe like, this is this feels weird
now? You know? So ifyou see a video of kids playing on
a playground and one of them isdisabled and it's you know, the point
is that it's heartwarming that there's adisabled child being included. You know,
if all those kids weren't disabled,would you think that that's a heartwarming video?
Or is that just kind of weirdto post a video of kids on
(27:15):
a playground. Maybe disabled people shouldjust be included and it doesn't need to
be a yeah exactly. M somethingto think about. Mm hm, all
right, we have two more misanceptions. All right. The next one caregiving
is always an immense burden and thosewho caregive should be glorified and praised for
their selflessness. All right, caregiver, how do you feel about that one?
(27:37):
Well, this one irritates me quitea bit. I think you can
find examples of this in our commentsections of people either saying I'm making a
terrible choice by being married to Shaneand ruining my life with caregiving, or
saying it's so amazing of me tomake this sacrifice to be married to Shane
and to caregive. And before wetalk more about this one, we are
(27:59):
not saying that caregiving is never hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah it is
for some people it is. Yeah, But again, by and large,
it is not a rule that caregivingmust be an immense ari. That's the
thing simply is not true. It'slike if we thought about, you know,
parenting, like having kids is ahorrible, horrible choice, and anytime
(28:22):
you would kids, someone was like, that's gonna ruin your life. It's
just like a it's very weird,Like, yes, some people it's it's
often very difficult having kids. There'sa lot of really hard parts about it.
Whatever, But that's not like whatwe should have is the overwhelming idea
of like the having kids. Yeah, it's the same kind of thing.
Where why would you have that bethe narrative? Would you say, on
(28:42):
the spectrum of caregiving, yeah,at least involved, the most involved,
you'd probably fall on the higher endof that scale. With my care you
think, well, I was gonnasay lower end. Yeah, really that's
example of how it feels. ButI feel like my level of care,
even though it's like fairly minimal youneed to do the almost like get me
(29:06):
on the toilight. I think it'smiddle. I think it's metal because I
think it could be a lot morelike if you had medical equipment that needed
to be like adjusted every fifteen minutes. Are you saying that my wheelchair is
not metal? No, it doesn'tneed to be adjusted. I'm just saying
I feel like there's things that couldbe like time sensitive, and you don't
really have any of that, youknow. My basic point was that Hannah
(29:26):
performs a level of care for methat I think many people feel like is
like the top of the carry givenstep drum. Yeah, yeah, Canna
as you just heard reports that it'sthe low end or maybe the medal.
Yeah, carry give in for usis seamlessly incorporated in our day. When
(29:47):
we make up together, hand Iget to be dressed and gets yourself dressed,
Like we eat breakfast together, sothat hand I can't help me to
take bites. Yeah. And Ithink a lot of people who don't have
experience with caregiving will kind of equateit to having kids, you know,
like people who have kids are likehaving it pet. But I'm just saying
(30:10):
people who don't have experience are likehm, what is this, Like it's
like having kids, and so theythink to themselves, Oh my god,
I could never have kids and caregivefor like another kid. I don't know,
or like worse than kids. Idon't know what they're thinking, but
we get that a lot of likeI could never ever do that, And
I think people are thinking about itin a very specific way of like Shane
(30:30):
is not contributing anything to the relationship. Yeah, like how could Hannah handle
him and a kid? Like weget that all the time. But Shane
is an equal partner in the relationship, So he's getting a lot of stuff
done throughout the day that I thinkpeople aren't giving him credit for. Like
I have a lot of free time. I'm one of the lazier people that
(30:52):
you might meet. I'm not ago getter. I enjoy leisure, and
Shane does a lot of stuff duringthe day and the hours and hours that
that you're allounging that trying to escapefrom doing work. Our life would not
be afloat if it were not forme. I am proud to say that
that's true. Shane keeps everything afloat. Uh So, yeah, I just
I think that they have a veryskewed perspective of what Shane does and what
(31:17):
I do. Yeah, and again, I think that really tempts back to
the stories that our media tells whenwe see caregivers in movies and in books,
they are giving up wonderful things topartake in the kind of selfless act
of taking care of someone. Yeah, it's seen the sacrifice. Yeah,
(31:37):
and for us and many other interabledhubbles that we know, it's just not
in that category and not something thateither individual feels like is a burden or
sacrifice. Yeah, ready to moveon. Number This is the big number
four, the big to say peopledon't have sex or intimacy or romance.
(32:04):
Not true, not true. Thisis another one that you can find in
the comment sections of our videos.People just take I wouldn't do that if
I were you. But man,do people think that Shane and other any
disabled person can't have sex or doesn'twant to? I don't know, Yeah,
(32:30):
in in like a mandated I don'tknow in what way they think you
can't. I guess physically. Iguess they think that like your physical organs
wouldn't function well. That and myattraction, yeah, my ability to attract
partner as no true. So andeven if you did, it wouldn't work.
There's no physical way, because weget a lot of like there's no
(32:52):
physical way that they could to theirline. And again, I shouldn't have
to say these caviat I know,obviously there are disability these that affect sexual
function, but that is not therule. It's not the overwhelming majority all
of these. I mean, we'renot saying that any of these are never
true. Of course, everything thatwe're saying is true for some people.
(33:13):
But it's just the fact that thisis how we frame it, you know,
point blank in society is the problem. Yeah, when Handah and I
begin our channel, we never reallyconsidered the idea that people would question our
intimacy, our love romance, andboy did they hu you know, the
(33:36):
biggest like, I mean, allthe criticisms, but they're more just troll.
How much that we get that wegot in the beginning was like there
is no way that you two arehaving sets and you're lying to the world
saying that you do because disabled peoplehand not you know, do that do
(33:57):
that? Yeah. I also seea lot of comments kind of from us,
like I'll get some that are sayinglike it's inappropriate that I would be
intimate with you, you know,like in a in a way like people
have called me a pedophile because you'resmaller, Like there's no way like that
that should be like illegal. No, it's not what pedopile means. And
(34:20):
uh, I often see that,Like we get comments that are like if
this, if the roles the genderswere reversed, this would be illegal,
meaning like a disabled woman and anon disabled man, that would be illegal.
It's just wild to me that peoplethink that disabled people can't consent to
intimacy. And I think that kindof policing happens a lot more with mental
disabilities, but it also does happenwith physical disabilities, where people say,
(34:45):
you know that that should be illegalto have sex with a disabled person.
All of these yeah people are notfull yeah, or adults that all,
you know, shouldn't be considered adults. This is a I'm silly, but
disabled paper. I can have sets. They can be amazing romantic partners.
(35:07):
Yeah, you don't know, likepat me on the bath. As I'm
saying all this, I'm panning onthe back. They be really good at
sets. You know that we arejust asceptual as our non disabled counter parts.
Yeah, and that is the overwhelmingrule. Yeah, not the opposite,
(35:28):
Not the opposite. I remember thisis going back a couple of years
too, when I was in college. Also, it's gonna be my fifth
college reunion next year. Can youbelieve that? I'm so grown? I'm
seriously an adult now. But goingback to my senior year of college,
I was writing my senior thesis aboutdisability misconceptions. I know, speak of
the just read that paper today,I should have. But one of the
(35:52):
things that I was interviewing about fortyphysically disabled people, and one of the
things that came up again and againin misconceptions was this intimacy thing. So
I was reading a lot of papersabout disability and intimacy, and I remember
I read a lot of stuff,but one thing stuck out to me that
I still remember, and it wasa paper about I think it was spinal
(36:14):
cord injuries. Like I think itwas just about that, But I remember
there was one woman in that paperwho said that after she became injured.
I don't remember where her injury wason her spine. I don't know if
it was just like waist down,but it was I think it was like
chest down, because I remember hersaying that after her injury, her body
(36:35):
like created new pleasure areas on herbody and they were way more intense than
she had had before the injury,and so her sex after the injury was
a lot more vibrant. I'll usethat word. I can't remember what she
said, but it was it wasshe had intense. Yeah, better better
(36:58):
intimacy after her injury because of theway her body adjusted. In the book
that Hen and I are writing rightnow, where we're interviewing other interable helpfuls,
it's something that we've heard time andtime again that disability actually enhances their
intimacy because it requires martimmunication, itrequires creativity. Yeah, and those almost
(37:22):
helped out in the bedroom. Yeah. Well, it's funny because you see
all those studies about heterosexual couples thatlike, the women don't have it's always
bad, it's always Yeah, it'swhat I wish I had it in front
of me, like I should haveprepared for this with this. But it's
something like sixty percent of women don'torgasm when they have sex, and a
heterosexual big numbers is sick. Itmight have been like forty or Yeah,
(37:44):
sixty percent don't. It's something aroundthere. It's a lot of people don't.
And then I wish I remember thenumbers, but I know that in
lesbian relationships it's higher, like it'sa lot higher, way way higher,
maybe like eighty ninety percent, butthey do, yeah exactly, that it's
way more pleasurable for the women inthe relationship in that case. And I
would love to see a study abouteither just like disability and relationships or in
(38:07):
table relationships. I would love tosee the ranked pleasure of the people in
those relationships because I really feel likeit would be way way higher, like
on par with the queer relationships andnot study. I thoroughly believe that my
disability makes our sets life better.Yeah, and this is a topic that
(38:27):
like we don't want to give toomany personal details, yeah, but like
it has required more communication, morecreativity to find ways that work well for
ours yea. And those ways workwell for us, yeah exactly. And
so you know, without kind ofthat need to experiment differently, we probably
never would have arrived that those neware the ways of doing them was that
(38:52):
are great for us? Well,clearly a lot of people don't if you
look at that study. But yeah, so this is another one that like,
it's kind of one of the mainpoints of our channel that you know,
an interibular relationship is just as fullof passion and romance and love as
(39:12):
any older Yeah. Again, notthe story that we are getting in our
society and not at all. Sothose are our misconceptions. Yeah, there
are so many more out there inthe world that we could do ours on
this topic. I we'll save morefor the future. But we hope that
(39:35):
this made you think and analyze howyou perceive disabled people. Yeah, and
take it to hurt all right,we'll be right back than Due to our
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to everyplate dot com slash podcast andentering code forty nine. Junk Yard Pod
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we are back, and now weare going to tell you about the true
drama from the week, Shane's Idon't even know what to call it,
(41:49):
Shane's descent into Yeah, panic,yep, misery, uh huh, fear,
uh huh, chaos, Wow,junk yard mayhem. Do you want
to tell them about it? Thatshould be our new tagline. No fear,
no misery, no chaos, Nope, Jack Jared Maham, No it
began well nor I have an idiotcontact here. I have a very specific
(42:15):
way of assisting myself to chew myfood. If you're listening and not watch
him, it's going to be hardto demonstrate visually for you, But basically,
I, with the help of someoneelse, prop my arms and kind
(42:36):
of my wrists under my own chinto act as a assistant for my chewing
mechanism. And then yeah, andthen you push down on your wrists and
it makes your jaw stronger. Canyou describe what it's like dead in my
arms in that position. Yeah,So you have to put Shane's elbow in
(42:58):
a certain spot on his arm rest, and then the other elbow in a
certain spot on his arm rest.Two elbows, and then the hands meet
under his chin, and what holdsthem there is one thumb kind of under
the other wrist, and then thethumb has to be in a very specific
spot to you know, balance correctlyfor all the pressure that he's going to
put on them. Emphasis on specificspot. Yeah, this kind of feels
(43:22):
like building a house of herds whenwe're positioning in my arms. Hannah is
a veteran, and you know itcan do this in three seconds. You
know, Andrew, my brother whowas here helping take care of me while
Hannah was in San Diego, hasdone this. But it's been ten years,
(43:49):
seven eight years. And you usedto put your thumb there yourself at
the bottom, and then you wouldpull your arms up like someone would help
pull your arms up. Yet,in a little bit, heare something is
not new. It's been like yearsand years. But I don't think Andrew
ever really did like the thumb placement. Yeah, you're right, he may
not ask. He just did likearm placement. So you'd probably imagine where
(44:09):
this might be yelling, but it'sso much worse than what you did on
dead one. When Andrew arrived Hannah'syawn. It became time. Well it
was before Andrew ride. It waswith my MoMu Oh my god, I
forgot about that. Okay, SoShane texts me this is while I'm probably
on the plane still. I hadleft at nine fifteen am, and so
(44:35):
we Shane hadn't eaten breakfast yet oranything, and he was going to eat
with my mom after she dropped meoff at the airport. So at like
eleven or so, I get atext from Shane saying, I was trying
to have noodles for breakfast or something, but I couldn't get my arms into
the right spot with your mom.Like we just couldn't figure it out.
So I ended up eating with myarms down and I didn't eat a lot.
(44:58):
Like annoying. Yeah, this justhappened, like spelled throughout the last
five years, like randomly here andthere. I'll just be tired one day
and like it does take a lotof my energy and strength to keep my
arms in that position. You know, the positioning is very important, but
then I have to use energy tohold my arms there, so you know,
(45:22):
I figure I didn't sleep a lotthe night before Handle left because we
were stressed and we were busy andwaking up early, so I'm probably tired.
I know very well how to describeto someone how to put my arms
in this position, so like Andrewmom has done it before, Like it
(45:42):
didn't feel like an error of positioning. I was just like, yeah,
I'm tired, that's weird. Laterthat night, the same thing happens to
Andrew and I, and this onefelt more like, Okay, Andrew is
just new to this. He hasn'tput my arms up how we refer to
it, so maybe it's just thething of like I'm not describing it the
(46:05):
right way. But we were ata restaurant and it was pretty frustrated,
like he would get my thumb rightright it needed to be, and my
thumb would just give way, yeah, making my arms fall and making it
very difficult for me to eat ameal, like I can't chew more than
a few bites without my arms helpingme. So again my tat had I'm
(46:30):
like, okay, like another mealdidn't really work out, like I didn't
have a whole lot because my armswouldn't stay up. And at that point,
I'm like, Shane, you needto sit down and figure out how
to get your arms up like Inow two people have tried. I don't
think you're giving it your best shot, Like you need to figure this out.
Just sit there and do it againand again until you get it,
(46:52):
you know. Because you were like, well, what did you have for
dinner? Yeah? And I waslike wine, yeah, And I'm like,
you need to be eating food thisweek. The next few days didn't
improve, yeah, and it beganto really scare me. Yep. I
was certain, completely certain that Iwas explaining to Andrew the correct way to
(47:15):
put my arms up. It feltlike I was in the right position and
then they would fall. It justwasn't working. And I began to tell
Hannah like, I know, thisis really weird timing, but I think
I'm getting recare like that I havea progressive neuromuscular aundition. And that's not
(47:37):
what you said I've got. Well, no, no, no, I'm
just I know it just sounded likeit was all the message you sent me,
Hannah. I have to tell yousomething. I have a neuromuscular audition.
I get rehare anyway. Yeah,I was just beginning to really fret,
and I was not because I waslike, Shane, there is no
way that this coincidence has occurred thatyou you suddenly in an hour since I
(48:01):
left, became way weaker and arestaying that way, Like there's just I
was like, I don't buy it. There's just no possible way, and
you were like, well that's howit is. Like I'm weak now.
And my brother like really really wantedto figure this out, like more than
me. After like three or fourattempts of it not working, I was
(48:23):
the one that was like, allright, I'll just eat some like dip,
like soft, softer food because Ididn't want him to think that it
was his fault and I just didn'twant the awkwardness of it. Yea.
So rather than sitting there for ahalf hour trying or whatever, I often
(48:43):
was just like, all right,I'll eat something that's soft and makes it
easy. Yep. Andrew was like, we you can figure it out,
Like come on. Inside my mindthough I am again certain that I am
getting me here, that I willnever be able to put my arms up
to eat it. Again, andI'm like envisioning my future now, like
(49:04):
planning. Okay, this means Ineed to always eat only soft food or
maybe I need to feed into youagain. And I'm freaking out. Yeah,
trying really hard not to like tellall this to hear that a lot,
because like you know, I don'twant to worry her on her trip.
But here and there, I waslike, arms didn't work it again.
Yeah it's happening. Yeah, thisis here to stay. Yeah.
(49:29):
So I'm getting these texts. I'mworried about it more in like Shane's not
eating enough this week. I don'tknow if I was really thinking like about
your future. But I got homeand at the minute I got home,
I was like Shane, like,I'm going to try to put your arms
up, like I really, Ican't believe they're like kissed hellowe. And
then she was like all right,I'm going to try your arms. Yeah.
(49:50):
I was like I can't believe whatyou've been telling me. I need
to see this for myself, likelet me just do it. And Shane
was like, no, I don'twant you to do it. I didn't
want to face the truth. Yeah, because you were like it's not it's
not like it wasn't Andrew, itwasn't your mom. Like it was the
fact that my arms no longer dothis and I don't want to face that.
And I was like, Shane,we have to try, like we
have to. So Shane finally wewent in the bedroom alone. Like this
(50:13):
is a big thing for Shane.I was very worried. You were so
worried. We go in there.I put his arms up. They kind
of like flop it first, andI'm like, no, the thumb just
wasn't in the right spot. Youwere like, see see vindication. Uh
huh. I do it one moretime and they stay And Shane was like,
yeah, I've never seen you inmore shock than that. And so
(50:37):
I like put my arms down andyou know, we went about our night
and then I we ate dinner later. Yeah, and I was like,
all right, try again, yep. And they went up on the first
try yep, and they stayed.Yeah. I couldn't believe it for like
a week. I was like shockedthat it was worthy again. I know,
you're still very grateful that it's working, so happy every time it happens,
(51:00):
You're like, wow, this isgreat. I visited the land of
the week and I returned to theland of the show. Yeah, nope,
it's still very But it must havebeen some error in my exultation.
Yeah, you know, something thatfelt like it was right, but like,
(51:21):
you know, yeah, isn't right. But android your mom wouldn't have
noticed that. I don't know.But basically the Rand conclusion here is that
you need to give seminars to everyonein our network. Yeah about how to
put We should probably sit down withmy mom and like show her, you
know, I should do it withher like hands on our hands together with
(51:44):
my dry dry ointment. Yea,Now they're not even sweaty, so you'll
be even stickier. Yeah, thatwas it. Maybe because I didn't have
my ointment. Then well you've neverhad your ointment before, so maybe it
was my obsessive sweat. Maybe itwas I couldn't have helped to you,
poor Andrew. So that was likethe main drama of the week, and
(52:10):
it was SERI it was genuinely scaryon my end, at least on Handa's
end. She was like, it'sjust you're not doing it there. Yeah,
I had a feeling, but Iknew it was scary for you.
All right, everyone, if youenjoyed this podcast, or if you didn't
subscribe, follow review star five starcomment. What is our outro going to
(52:36):
be today? Shane? I don'tknow the pressure of these is really building.
Uh do you have any No,this is not my job. I
take zero responsibility for how we exitour podcast. It is a jet yard
out there, filled with toilets justthe way down your next beautiful selfie,
(52:58):
take it, post it, loveit, oh, bop it? All
right, these go on too long. You need to learn brevity, fear.
Goodbye everybody else, mister jet yardh
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