November 23, 2022 • 32 mins
Looking back at traumatic events often adds clarity…and sometimes more drama.
That’s exactly what happens as Bethenny takes a look back at how she found out about Tom’s cheating and what she did about it.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah. So this podcast has been so fun and so
crazy because now I'm really thinking about what was going
(00:20):
on at the time, and in many cases it feels
like yesterday. So it's about Tom. It's funny because I
guess it's about time that I think back to these
episodes and what was going on in real life, and
I remember that the reason that that trip was in Miami.
I could be mixing two stories. It might have been
because I just had a medical issue, like a profuse
(00:42):
bleeding issue, where there was another reason. But we never
got the great great trips to begin with, and then
there was always some problem that would happen that would
make it that we we had to end up just
like going somewhere close that looked like we were far,
because if you think about the Berserk Shears, you're driving
two hours to get the same number of episodes as
(01:03):
if you're flying ten hours. So we were so entertaining
that it didn't matter really where we were that we
would deliver the episodes. And one time we went to
Atlantic City and it was explosive. I mean, we don't
really have to go far. We could probably just go
to New Jersey and stay in a hotel and deliver
(01:24):
the same thing as we as if we went to
Turks and Caicos, which was a crazy episode in and
of itself. But on this occasion we went to Miami,
which would disappoint people like Ramona who always wanted this
to be the big trip. She'd get her hot bathing
suits out, spray tan, do her wardrobe, and she was
ready to go, and she would stay somewhere later with
Sonya or go earlier. I mean, she made a meal
(01:46):
out of these trips. Okay, no one ever made a
meal out of a Housewives trip like a Ramona singer,
mark my words. Ask anyone who's ever worked with her.
For her, it was it was a real trip. She's
going to Morocco, and she's going somewhere before or somewhere
else after. She's staying with Sony, other going on a
different part of Mexico. I mean, God bless, she's an
iconic housewife. I was the opposite. No one ever made
(02:09):
less of a meal. I would come a day late,
leave a day early, and pack it into three days
and peace out as the producers. So in Miami, it
was about Tom and Luan was engaged to Tom, and
I don't know what my relationship with her was then.
I think I said it in the episode. We weren't
(02:29):
best friends, we weren't enemies, were just on the show together.
I'd come back. We were totally fine. We've had some
issues in the past, they were never really that big,
and none of our issues ever really were anything, and
when you think about it, like they never really there
were all much to do about nothing. But this time
it was much ado about Tom and I think at
this time I was friends with Carol, good friends with Carol,
(02:50):
and Carol and Luam were very much on the outs
because I think their fight stemmed from Luanne taking issue
with Carol stealing her chef from her kitchen because Carol
was at Luanne's and Adam was in the kitchen and
Carol ended up looking up with him, and that was
a big, big point of contention for years. And Adam
(03:11):
was Noel's friend, Luan's son's friend. So that was messy
and just very housewives e and very television and something
that in real life probably would't matter that much, but
you know, you need to make these shows, so that
seemed like a good conflict. So I think that was
like what was going on then, So Carol definitely wasn't
good friends of Land at that time. They had been previously,
and when the name Lou came that that started without
(03:33):
that Carol Heather Kristin Era and the relationship seemed ridiculous,
I'll say that. I mean, it just seemed like a
she a pet relationship that just you added water, and
all of a sudden they were just engaged and getting
married and it was all a whirlwind romance. But it
happens to the best of us, it's happened, and Nicky Hilton,
it's happened to Britney Spears, it's it happens. So they
(03:55):
were off to the races. But it did seem very
forced and very unnatural, and TV will do that to you.
It could have been because of the show. Who knows.
It could have been the pomp and circumstance the show
makes things more exciting. Could have been the shows paying
for the wedding. I don't God only knows what it was.
And I don't actually think the show did pay for
the wedding. But I don't remember if the wedding was televised.
I really don't remember anything. I don't know if that
(04:18):
wedding was televised. But anyway, so I think she had
an engagement party. Yes, she had an engagement pody party
on the boat and Palm Beach, and I found out
that Luanne and Tom are going down to Florida and
that they were having an engagement party on a boat.
And then we had our Miami trips, so she was
(04:39):
coming from Palm Beach down to Miami to be with us.
That's what I'm pretty sure. That's why Tom being out
at the Regency making out with someone that same time
was insane, Like it was the very week of his
their engagement party. So I'm laying in my bed on
Mercer Street in my apartment. So this person that I
(05:02):
knew from years ago that I reconnected with, not right
at this time, probably a couple a year before or
six to eight months before. We'd spend a little bit
of time together. This person, this person, I listen, it's
the Upper east Side, and I don't know how to
explain that to you, but this person lived on the
(05:22):
Upper east Side, and for some reason, that's the smallest
town in the world, and everybody on the Upper east
Side knows what everybody else is doing, and it's just
the same twenty restaurants that everyone goes to, and you
could probably see the same twenty hair salons or nail
places and or used to be barneys, and it's just
it's just a little world. So this person had mentioned
(05:44):
before Tom being a little shady in this regard. You
know that he was tripping the life fantastic and he
had a reputation, particularly on the Upper East Side, having
dated many people to people on our show, but also
going around a little bit. It's hard to say a
player because he doesn't exactly look like the player profile,
(06:04):
but you know that a breast side guy who wants
to be a player because he's got a couple of
dollars in his pocket. So this person had mentioned him
to me before. And obviously there's always a circle of
people that want to tell you things because you're on
the Housewives, and that just they somehow wanted to land
inside the show. They don't want to be on the show,
(06:26):
and they don't want their names to be on the show,
but they just want it to land inside the show.
Because a lot of what's happening on reality television is fraudulent.
It's either someone's rented their car and pretending that it's
really there's or their house, or they really bankrupt, or
they owe someone money, or they're cheating, and the people
that are close to them, that live close to them,
(06:48):
I know that what's airing to the rest of America
and internationally is bullshit, So it always bothers them. Think
about it. You're in a Call to sac and Jane
down the street is fronting and stunting on television, and
you know what everyone's seeing, and you're like, wait a second,
what are you talking. She cheating at her husband, They
have no money, that's not a real car. It's going
to annoy you because you probably don't like Jane, who
(07:09):
lives in your Call to Act to begin with. And
then you're seeing all this phoniness and that's very common
on the housewise, I can tell you that. So this
person knew both parties, and I couldn't believe it was
being portrayed in the media and on the show. I
guess this season prior, you know, it was so long ago.
So this person sent me a picture thinking it was
(07:33):
just like fodder, like fun. Thought didn't know. I'm going
down to Florida to this person's engagement celebration weekend and
sends me a text with a picture of Tom and
this woman making out, because in my mind, I'm like,
oh my god, I'm going down to Florida. I'm going
down to Florida to be like at our engagement party
(07:54):
and be on a weekend with her and going down there.
I told the producers that's whatever nobody does. You can
hate me or not. I wasn't, you know, I told
the producers. I did not. I don't know that I
told Carol. I don't remember. Maybe I told Carol and Ramona.
I don't remember. I think it came out in the
story that I told Carol or Ramona, and the producers
wanted me to say it right away, like say it
right away, and I didn't want to ruin the weekend,
(08:16):
and I didn't want it to be like I'm dumping
this now because I want this to be with the
weekend is about and I could. I didn't know when
to say this and how to say it, and I
we were in all these scenes with everybody, and I
was trying to pick up clues. Oh, and I think
that's why I asked her if she was in an
open relationship, because you know how it is the messenger
is gonna get shot, and I thought, maybe this is
(08:37):
okay with them to each his own. I'm not judgmental
about nontraditional relationships. Maybe this is like the way they roll,
and I don't want and all that met all that
is gonna happen. I'm gonna get it in the middle
of this and be the messenger that gets shot, which
is what happened anyway. So I really didn't know how
to enter and play double dutch. I was like So,
I was trying to ask her different questions, and I
just my mind kept playing tricks on me, like if
(08:57):
I television, i'd be like, oh, it doesn't matter, we
have an open relationship, or I don't know. So I
ended up telling her, and then I didn't want to
live in it. You know. It was sort of like
her intervention. Someone called me to go over to her
house years later. I'll tell that story another time. And
I ended up immersed, just like everything else. If I
do really, I'm immersed. If I do any project, I'm immersed.
(09:18):
So I was immersed in this now and I kind
of didn't want to be. I don't want to be.
I just wanted to dump it and walk away. I
wanted to play hot Potato, and you knew you were
gonna be shot. I was a messenger that got shot
in Luan was the woman who doesn't want to know.
And I guess there's about half the people don't really
want to know. So the question is would you want
to know? And she forgave him, and cheaters are going
(09:41):
to cheat, and I respect the fact that she believed
in love and she wanted to love him, and who knows.
It's a it's a weird age. You feel like you're
not gonna sign somebody again. She found somebody and they
were like minded in certain ways of both like to
travel and I don't know, and that's to be to
be honest, that's when the show in real life are
blurred because let's discuss this. So here's the real thing.
(10:03):
In my quote unquote real life. I'm not friendly with Louanne,
so I don't talk to Luanne. So would I tell
her this now? Like I probably wouldn't, But I also
wouldn't be going on a trip with her to Miami.
So now I'm like in this weird And it's so
funny because there was a quote I think page six
(10:24):
where Andy was like, I'm just shocked she's doing this
podcast because you know, she thought The Housewives was toxic.
I don't think they're not mutually exclusive. I do think
The Housewives is toxic. And I'm doing this podcast because
I get to have these conversations and give you clarification
on Colra on something that was happening. So it's like
Bethany should have told, she shouldn't have told. But I'm
(10:44):
not friends. I wasn't really friends. I was really friends
with Carol, I was really friends with Jill, and I
was really friends with Dorinda. You know, um and I
am and I love Sonya like I am friends with
Sonia and I you know, I have a lot of
respect for uh, Dorinda and Housewives and other cities, and
I Kyle for years and all this stuff. But even
if you were friends with someone, getting on the show
(11:04):
as someone is very tricky. And you see that with
Kyle and her own sister. You said, up with Melissa
and her sister in law and Melissa and her own brother.
So trust me, these things don't happen because it's not complicated.
So Luanne and I we're not friends. Off camera, people
forge friendships for the camera because they need alliances, and
you know it's it's a dangerous, scary game. So it's
(11:26):
this fictitious hypothetical situation. Should you tell Luanne in what world?
In the world where I'm on television being produced and
have forged friendships and text people, And I think it's
real because it is real in the moment, So like
it's real in the moment when um, I'm in Puerto
Rico and I'm seeing people up to their ankles in
(11:47):
in in filthy water, but like that's not my all
the time life. You become very present in that. If
I'm sitting in at dinner with Luanne and I'm present
in it, I know her, I've gotten to know her
better because I'm on a show with her. But this
is a hypothetical situation that's now happened. It's it brings
theory into the reality because now I have to tell
Luan on a show. Because also you can't hold information
(12:09):
on a show, like it just doesn't work like that.
If if if someone's husband is cheating, it's coming onto
the show. It's just like it's just an unwritten rule
with everyone. You've seen a thousand times someone's bankrupt, but
they say they have money. You have to say it
someone you know about the lawsuit. There's a lawsuit that's happening.
You have to say it. You have to say it
(12:30):
all mentioned all, mentioned it all. You have to mention
it all on reality TV. So that's this weird world
where people judge the actions of housewives that are acting
under this false pretense, not because it's lying and not
because it's not real, just because it's hypothetical. It's happening
because someone's put you in this experiment where Ramona, myself,
(12:51):
and luand are in the same friend group, and that's
just not the case in real life. So that's why
reality television is different, and that's why it can't be
held to the same standards. And that's why I left,
and that's why I'm here talking about it. So I
like clarifying all this because I forget about it and
(13:12):
I forget what it was like. And I'm an analytical person,
so I definitely don't want to talk about trash. I
just want to talk about reality. Andy Cohen and I
do you have any idea how any beach walks and
conversations and text Andy Cohen and I have about the
housewife since I left it's of the ship we talk about.
(13:32):
I'll just throw them random text and be like, why
is you know what happened with this person? Why did
that person say that? Is this real? Did that person
really mean that? Does this seem to be the case?
Did that person really do it? That's what our textual
relationship is about. So Andy is the first person to
know that just because I left the house boys doesn't
mean I stopped talking about it, because we talked about
(13:53):
it a lot. Hi, everybody, I'm Tyler Florence and I'm
Wells Adams were the hosts of the new podcast Two
Dudes in the Kitchen. You might be asking yourself, why
do these guys have a podcast? Because we love food.
You and I have known each other for a while.
(14:15):
We got a chance to click together on television on
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It's a podcast for you, for you to call into,
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(14:35):
questions and kind of get those kitchen burners fired up.
I got a lot of questions just because I'm not
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gonna be a lot of fun. We're gonna learn a lot,
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We're here for you. Listen to two dudes in the
kitchen on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcasts or
(14:56):
wherever you listen to podcasts. Yeah, this was such a
crazy situation because you I knew I was walking into
a ship storm. I'm on a show. The nature of
the beast of being on a show is we're supposed
to be revealing ourselves. The nature of this process, sorry,
(15:19):
if this is going to be disappointing, is that you're
not really friends with these people. It's very hard for
them to cast shows where people are really friends in
groups that everybody would want to do it, that you
would even do it with your friends. It just doesn't
work out, and then if all your friends are similar
to you, they're not going to cast a bunch of views.
So all of us are so different, they need to
(15:40):
cast different people. But they really would like brought they
being Bravo and casting that people do have a natural connection.
But look, Housewives started and at one point, you know,
I was the only legally married person there on the
Real Housewives of New York City. So it's kind of
it's real because you're put into situations and reacting in
(16:04):
a real way, but the situations that you're put into
are not real, So that's what makes it challenging. Garcel
Bouvet and Erica aren't hanging out in a regular on
a regular basis. Luanne and I aren't the same type
of person, nor a Ramona and I. And in a
sense though what is authentic. Jill, Ramona and Luan did
(16:29):
run in overlapping circles. They have friends in common. That
makes it a little more interesting also for birthday parties
and just a natural progression. I was an outlier. I
was not friends with any of these people. I knew
I had met Jill and that was it. I had
met Jill. So now you're on a show with people
(16:52):
that you aren't and you become friends with them through
this process because you have dinner on television in front
of a camera with other people, and you enjoy yourself
because you're having a nice meal and you're having a
nice conversation, and you do get to know people, and
you do go to events of theirs. That's what's crazy too.
People are invited to people's weddings that would never be
invited to their weddings, but the producers insist that you
(17:15):
invite them to your bachelortte party. And you get frustrated
because like that wouldn't happen, but you would sign up
for the show. It's a circular reference. You sign up
for the show. You have to be real and you
have to engage with these people and you have to
shoot these scenes. It also becomes a double dip one
stop shop. Okay, you know, I don't entertain really that
much a lot. I have nice China. I want to
show off my house. The show is going to deal
(17:36):
with most of it. Sure, we'll have a party at
my house with these people. As if this is who
I would invite over for the holidays. It's not. But
you do within the show and you end up enjoying
yourself because you get dressed up, you put makeup on,
you have a drink, you're talking to people, you're shooting
a show. You're doing ten things at once, but none
of them are based what your normal life would be
before or after. And anybody who says it is is
not telling the truth. And that's just the fact of
(17:56):
the matter. So, yes, people forge friendships through the process.
That does happen. It's rare, um, it's rare, and I
give them credit for ending up being able to work together.
And then it gets challenging because they're working together and
something comes out, and it's hard to watch someone else
be an authentic and it's hard to sign up for
(18:16):
this process and watch someone else be dishonest about something,
even if they're your closest relative. It's annoying to look
at someone like, that's not what are you talking about,
because then you're getting dirty in there. Not So let's
just say, what's happening with Kyle and Cathy. This is
a speculation, it's just an example. Or Teresa and Melissa,
whatever it is, they've known each other for years. It
(18:40):
becomes awkward and it's coming out because other people will
hold you accountable other people on the show. Wait a second,
we're not going to talk about that. And then also
you're getting dirty you've been doing the show for years,
or you're bringing it all out there and you're you know,
getting taking hits and you're watching someone else not take
any hits. And then and you're you're you're supposed to
protect people and they signed up for the show too,
(19:01):
that's what the show is. So I say all this
to say that with lu Anne, could I have called
her separately off the show. I'm sure I could have.
It's not even part of what was going on. It's
almost like a fraudulent relationship to begin with her and Tom.
It started and it started on the show pretty much.
I mean, she didn't meet him on the show. It
started because Dorinda introduced her to him, and then it
(19:22):
perpetuated on the show and he came on the show.
He signed up for this too. Like if people are
not even part of this and have never showed up
on the show, like someone's child, We're not gonna start
talking with Sonya's daughter who's never been on the show,
and you know it's just a child. But if someone's
person has never been on the show. You know that's
not really fair game. You can't come on the show
and it's all fun and games. Like Tom can't just
(19:43):
come on the show and be like, yes, I'm rich
and I'm a bachelor and I'm engaged and then you know,
something happens and then it's not on the show. You
can't have it both ways, and you can't play stupid
and smart at the same time. So Tom was brought
into the show by Luanne Dorinda adjacent. No fault to Dorenda. Now,
their engagement is a character. They're on the show. Their
marriage and the mistake that she's about to make is
(20:04):
a character on the show. So you know what, you're
damn right, I'm going to mention it all. So that's
why I didn't say it is slightly. We can't pick
and choose. Believe me, if it was me, it would
be the same thing. You're up for grabs. So that's why,
and that's why everyone's bankruptcies and cheating and lawsuits and all.
The ship comes up. And that's why in normal life,
it doesn't come up and pick up and drop off,
(20:24):
you know, like, oh, hey, I heard your fucking your
sister's husband it doesn't come up because they didn't sign
up for this process. This is a group that signed
up for this process. You know. I tried to explain
to somebody that if I see somebody annoying and my
daughter's school like a drop off, I'm not gonna be like, Wow,
that's an interesting choice of blush color. But guess what,
(20:45):
you're on The Housewives. You damn fucking right, it's gonna
come up because that's what the show is. That's the
nature of the past. It's use your outside voice. It's
hide nothing, be vulnerole, be honest, be open, and hide
nothing and let no one else hide anything. So if
I know that Tim Lee tried on wedding dresses ahead
of her wedding, I like, Tinsley, I don't care. Do
whatever you want, cross dress, where your wedding dressed, to
(21:06):
the gym. It's not my goddamn business. I'm on a
show where this is the point. Tinsley and I are
not do not know each other outside of the show.
We met on the show. So you gotta bring it up,
you gotta mention it all. That's what everybody's doing, that's
what goes on. So yes, I mentioned it all. But
I knew coming in that if I'm gonna mention this picture,
I better fucking come correct and have my receipts, which
is why I had the time stamp. You can look up.
(21:29):
I never knew this the time stamp. You know the question,
what time was this? Oh, that couldn't have been. He
was in a Halloween costume with another woman at a
bar at that time, Like you had to have your
ship tight. So I knew the time stamp. And then
I called the restaurant and bluffed them into telling me, yeah,
they were here for a long time, and she paid
the bill because I acted like I knew you got
If you're catching so much cheating or doing something, you
(21:50):
have all the details. Doesn't have to be on reality television.
If you decide you're gonna tell somebody, you better know
everything because you're gonna get shot. And I knew i'd
be the messenger that get shot. How could I not?
And it played exactly how I thought. She'd be nice
in the beginning, and then she'd go off and be
back to hypnotize and want to be with him, and
that's okay, it happens, and you know, there you go,
(22:11):
and you saw it all come to fruition at the party, uh,
the Sinco de Mayo party. So that's what happened. I
happened to be and it's great, yes, And of course
you know I took such an interest in her life.
They thought at one point she thought that I got
a private private investigator, there would be like five thousand dollars.
You're gonna spend five thousand dollars to see what the
fun Tom's doing. It was just crazy. That's what happens
(22:33):
on reality TV because most people are lying about something.
I've seen on this show, lying about having a car,
lying about plastic surgery, lying about how much money you have,
lying about your house and the situation with the mortgage,
or whether you really I've seen lying every which way
but Sunday upside down. Okay, that's I've just seen it
(22:54):
in so many different ways. So everybody that's a viewer,
all the people on the show have quote unquote friends
and freenemies and enemies watching and they are like, what.
It drove people crazy. When we first launched that people
were calling themselves socialites. New York Magazine wrote an article
about them being social It made the real social lites crazy.
(23:18):
They were so frustrated. And I've seen some of them.
I saw them at the after party for the met
Galla one year, and they were like, oh my god,
dolling like because they're the real social lits, which is
also a different shade of bullshit. Tinsley is now played
in both ponds. She's played in quote unquote real social
lites just as big a bunch of Fronten and Stunton
(23:38):
Phoe bullshit superficial losers as we are. They're just real
social lights. And Tensely was a real social lite in
w magazine and all that ship. She's played both sides.
She's done that. She knows that's just as big a
bunch of bullshit as this is. The real social lits
just aren't allowed to buy their husbands do it, or
by their family names do it, or they think they're
(24:00):
above it, and they couldn't possibly. But the real social
lights were so frustrated by the pot the phocial lights,
the focial lights drove them nuts because they think they're real. Oh,
there may be bigger losers over there, and I know
them all, and I know them both. I can't it's
just different losers. And that's why when certain people come
from oh, a real fashion person or a real this,
(24:22):
and they come on the Housewives and they think they're
gonna be a cut above because they're real. That's different.
They come on and there's still lunatics and crazy and
bat shit, and we will crack open someone's crazy like
a goddamn panada you saw, like Kelly was, Kelly was
a real model marriage gil Ben Simon. All that stuff
sounds good when they're coming in. Then they come in
(24:43):
and they're like, oh fuck, I've been found out. Nothing
will crack open someone's true character, Like the house was
like a real fucking pinata, whether we're friends with the
other people or not. So I said what I said,
I mentioned at all, and I would do it again
if I were on that show. But I am not.
(25:08):
I left the Housewives. It wasn't good for me, and
it wasn't what I walked into all those years ago. Also, sorry,
not sorry. The biggest thing that ever happened wasn't I'm
up here, you're down here, or a table flip like
crazy ship has gone on. So yes, I left that.
I don't want to be there. That's my own choice.
You know what else is my own choice to talk
(25:29):
about it and reflect on my experience years later, iconic
episodes and also like in my on my Own terms,
on my own show, I when I was there, I
had no control. I didn't produce the show. I didn't
decide the trips. I didn't decide the restaurants. I didn't
decide what we were doing. I didn't decide who I
get to hang out with. I had an experience where
(25:51):
I cast somebody. I gave this person. It happened a
couple of times, and right before filming I found out
that that person was going to be on the show. Like,
no one's gonna tell me that the person that I
brought in? Why did I even go out of my
way to cast all those people? It makes you feel
insulted in like a loser, right. It makes you feel
like you're the last one to know. Kelly Rippe has
described finding out on air that she um that her
(26:14):
hosts worry they're leaving or you know, being replaced or something.
On air she found out like a schmuck. I felt
like the schmuck, Like, wait, what, I have not no
control where ponds, where puppets, no sheep, no control no
control over editing. Something terrible happens, something's discussed about somebody
you love that's really damaging. No, it doesn't matter. I
(26:36):
can't beg They don't care. You say something by accident
that's terrible, could have ruined your life, gets you canceled,
affect everything you built in your life. Don't know you
have no control over that. Okay. I have seen Ramona
beg plead and cry. I have seen Kyle beg plead
and cry. They don't want that stuff take put in there.
It affects their lives and their family. Doesn't fucking matter.
(26:57):
They don't have the power to take it out. They
made a mistake. Mistakes are great for reality television. Mistakes
are what make reality television thrive. Someone is off the
wagon and they go back on. Get the cameras up.
Someone's an addict and they're doing what you know, they're
not supposed to be doing as an addict. Get the cameras.
(27:19):
You know. That's just that's been that's what it is.
That is not what we're doing here. So let's just
so that was not on my own terms. This is
on my own terms. Another thing, listen to the show.
It's that a trash and grabbed ever a trashing people
were giving color and breaking things down. We're talking and
I'm reflecting on an experience and my alma mater. I've
a right to talk about something I experience. I didn't
(27:41):
know I was in the Handmaid's Tale and housewives and
Housewives hosts are gonna, you know, scold me because I
did think it was toxic and I did leave, and
I explained very very nicely why I left. I didn't
say it's a ship box. I didn't say I said
it's toxic and it wasn't where I wanted to be.
That's what I've said in the US. That's the truth
(28:01):
over here. You leave your college, maybe it wasn't a
good experience. You can you're still allowed. And I thought,
ine with freedom of speech to talk about the college
you left. You were on you know, a TV show
years ago. You were unsaved. But by the belt, I
said to Mario, maybe that wasn't his best time of
his life. He's still allowed as a grown ass man
to talk about say by the belt, like go on
and on. You had a job you hated, You're allowed
(28:22):
to talk about it. You had a marriage, or next
you hated, you had a teacher, You're you hated or
you didn't like, or that you didn't want to beat
you not even hated. You had a job that you
chose to leave last I checked out of Gill Lead.
You're allowed to talk about that job, So I am
allowed to talk about my former life. That was a
(28:43):
quarter of my life. Did I get a lot bot
of me? Was? Did I go to the invasion of
the body Snatchers and they removed part of my brain?
So I'm not going to talk about something that was
a quarter of my life. Ladies and gentlemen like, what, Yeah,
that's my alma mater, and I also made that as
much as that made me a different caliber person has
gone on since me to try to do what I've
done and ask the producers. They've said that so good,
(29:05):
I've paved the way. But I'm allowed to talk about
the way that I paved. Next thing. I am not
a disgruntled employee that was fired. Many podcasts and many
you know, many podcasts or many people go on to
talk about that experience. They've been fired. They have a
skewed perspective. They're not happy, they want to be there,
(29:26):
they're angry, they're frustrated, they want to give snark. I
want to celebrate the craziness and how funny and ridiculous
it was at its best, by the way, many of
these episodes I'm doing, or when it was at its best,
you don't see me talking right now that Jen Shaw
scamming people, allegedly scamming people through a telemarketing scheme. I
don't find that to be can't be and amusing. I
(29:48):
haven't seen that show, but from what it sounds like,
it doesn't sound fun. So if you're gonna come for me,
you better come with everything you got. And if you're
gonna take a shot at this bee, you're better not
motherfucking miss because this time you all missed. So about
Tom is about a man who who was stupid enough
(30:12):
to cheat, who was drinking, which is something he seemed
to do very often and in volume, and a woman
that truth be told. I wasn't happy to deliver that news.
Many times I will not lie on house as you're
kind of like, wow, you want to stick it to somebody.
This was not one of those times I was. I
felt badly for her. A woman of a certain age
(30:34):
wants to be in a relationship met a guy he
seemed to check some boxes had a couple of dollars.
You know, lives in New York. Who likes to run
around like the Jets, that likes to drink like the party,
like to travel, is very social at night like it
seemed like a good fit. Wants to get married again,
loves to be loved. Luanna's a hopeless romantic. Now she's
going down the wrong road. I was still on the
worst road in my life, and I couldn't even really
(30:54):
talk about it. So you're watching someone walk into a
fire and you want to tell them not to walk in.
It happened years later, which we'll get into about an
intervention with lan I. I staged an intervention. Everybody involved
will verify that I was leading the charge. I took
days of my life. I got her paid for a
reunion that she would never have gotten paid for. I
got her sent to rehab and it paid for and
(31:16):
she left early. And I don't do anything half ass.
So I walked into this and I didn't want her
to marry him. I thought I was helping her, and
you see what happened years later. But we all make mistakes.
She was the woman who didn't want to know, and
you know she might have been a woman that doesn't
really care about fidelity that much, and that's her body
and her choice also, So I said what I said,
(31:37):
I did what I did. It was an explosive, crazy, iconic,
high rating episode because usually these episodes that are multiple,
multiple to be continued episodes, or usually these trips that
are multiple to be continued episodes, you have to go
all the way to France to get that kind of drama.
That was pretty insane, and it didn't unfold the way
(31:57):
that I thought it would. I can't believe it. It It
was crazy that that happened, but it happened. And truth
is stranger than fiction. So Luann didn't want to know,
and it was all about time. I will be watching
It's About Tom with Kevin Nealon, so we are going
to break down this episode and it's going to be
one for the ages, one for the books, an amazing
Yeah. So this podcast has been so fun and so
crazy because now I'm really thinking about what was going
(00:20):
on at the time, and in many cases it feels
like yesterday. So it's about Tom. It's funny because I
guess it's about time that I think back to these
episodes and what was going on in real life, and
I remember that the reason that that trip was in Miami.
I could be mixing two stories. It might have been
because I just had a medical issue, like a profuse
(00:42):
bleeding issue, where there was another reason. But we never
got the great great trips to begin with, and then
there was always some problem that would happen that would
make it that we we had to end up just
like going somewhere close that looked like we were far,
because if you think about the Berserk Shears, you're driving
two hours to get the same number of episodes as
(01:03):
if you're flying ten hours. So we were so entertaining
that it didn't matter really where we were that we
would deliver the episodes. And one time we went to
Atlantic City and it was explosive. I mean, we don't
really have to go far. We could probably just go
to New Jersey and stay in a hotel and deliver
(01:24):
the same thing as we as if we went to
Turks and Caicos, which was a crazy episode in and
of itself. But on this occasion we went to Miami,
which would disappoint people like Ramona who always wanted this
to be the big trip. She'd get her hot bathing
suits out, spray tan, do her wardrobe, and she was
ready to go, and she would stay somewhere later with
Sonya or go earlier. I mean, she made a meal
(01:46):
out of these trips. Okay, no one ever made a
meal out of a Housewives trip like a Ramona singer,
mark my words. Ask anyone who's ever worked with her.
For her, it was it was a real trip. She's
going to Morocco, and she's going somewhere before or somewhere
else after. She's staying with Sony, other going on a
different part of Mexico. I mean, God bless, she's an
iconic housewife. I was the opposite. No one ever made
(02:09):
less of a meal. I would come a day late,
leave a day early, and pack it into three days
and peace out as the producers. So in Miami, it
was about Tom and Luan was engaged to Tom, and
I don't know what my relationship with her was then.
I think I said it in the episode. We weren't
(02:29):
best friends, we weren't enemies, were just on the show together.
I'd come back. We were totally fine. We've had some
issues in the past, they were never really that big,
and none of our issues ever really were anything, and
when you think about it, like they never really there
were all much to do about nothing. But this time
it was much ado about Tom and I think at
this time I was friends with Carol, good friends with Carol,
(02:50):
and Carol and Luam were very much on the outs
because I think their fight stemmed from Luanne taking issue
with Carol stealing her chef from her kitchen because Carol
was at Luanne's and Adam was in the kitchen and
Carol ended up looking up with him, and that was
a big, big point of contention for years. And Adam
(03:11):
was Noel's friend, Luan's son's friend. So that was messy
and just very housewives e and very television and something
that in real life probably would't matter that much, but
you know, you need to make these shows, so that
seemed like a good conflict. So I think that was
like what was going on then, So Carol definitely wasn't
good friends of Land at that time. They had been previously,
and when the name Lou came that that started without
(03:33):
that Carol Heather Kristin Era and the relationship seemed ridiculous,
I'll say that. I mean, it just seemed like a
she a pet relationship that just you added water, and
all of a sudden they were just engaged and getting
married and it was all a whirlwind romance. But it
happens to the best of us, it's happened, and Nicky Hilton,
it's happened to Britney Spears, it's it happens. So they
(03:55):
were off to the races. But it did seem very
forced and very unnatural, and TV will do that to you.
It could have been because of the show. Who knows.
It could have been the pomp and circumstance the show
makes things more exciting. Could have been the shows paying
for the wedding. I don't God only knows what it was.
And I don't actually think the show did pay for
the wedding. But I don't remember if the wedding was televised.
I really don't remember anything. I don't know if that
(04:18):
wedding was televised. But anyway, so I think she had
an engagement party. Yes, she had an engagement pody party
on the boat and Palm Beach, and I found out
that Luanne and Tom are going down to Florida and
that they were having an engagement party on a boat.
And then we had our Miami trips, so she was
(04:39):
coming from Palm Beach down to Miami to be with us.
That's what I'm pretty sure. That's why Tom being out
at the Regency making out with someone that same time
was insane, Like it was the very week of his
their engagement party. So I'm laying in my bed on
Mercer Street in my apartment. So this person that I
(05:02):
knew from years ago that I reconnected with, not right
at this time, probably a couple a year before or
six to eight months before. We'd spend a little bit
of time together. This person, this person, I listen, it's
the Upper east Side, and I don't know how to
explain that to you, but this person lived on the
(05:22):
Upper east Side, and for some reason, that's the smallest
town in the world, and everybody on the Upper east
Side knows what everybody else is doing, and it's just
the same twenty restaurants that everyone goes to, and you
could probably see the same twenty hair salons or nail
places and or used to be barneys, and it's just
it's just a little world. So this person had mentioned
(05:44):
before Tom being a little shady in this regard. You
know that he was tripping the life fantastic and he
had a reputation, particularly on the Upper East Side, having
dated many people to people on our show, but also
going around a little bit. It's hard to say a
player because he doesn't exactly look like the player profile,
(06:04):
but you know that a breast side guy who wants
to be a player because he's got a couple of
dollars in his pocket. So this person had mentioned him
to me before. And obviously there's always a circle of
people that want to tell you things because you're on
the Housewives, and that just they somehow wanted to land
inside the show. They don't want to be on the show,
(06:26):
and they don't want their names to be on the show,
but they just want it to land inside the show.
Because a lot of what's happening on reality television is fraudulent.
It's either someone's rented their car and pretending that it's
really there's or their house, or they really bankrupt, or
they owe someone money, or they're cheating, and the people
that are close to them, that live close to them,
(06:48):
I know that what's airing to the rest of America
and internationally is bullshit, So it always bothers them. Think
about it. You're in a Call to sac and Jane
down the street is fronting and stunting on television, and
you know what everyone's seeing, and you're like, wait a second,
what are you talking. She cheating at her husband, They
have no money, that's not a real car. It's going
to annoy you because you probably don't like Jane, who
(07:09):
lives in your Call to Act to begin with. And
then you're seeing all this phoniness and that's very common
on the housewise, I can tell you that. So this
person knew both parties, and I couldn't believe it was
being portrayed in the media and on the show. I
guess this season prior, you know, it was so long ago.
So this person sent me a picture thinking it was
(07:33):
just like fodder, like fun. Thought didn't know. I'm going
down to Florida to this person's engagement celebration weekend and
sends me a text with a picture of Tom and
this woman making out, because in my mind, I'm like,
oh my god, I'm going down to Florida. I'm going
down to Florida to be like at our engagement party
(07:54):
and be on a weekend with her and going down there.
I told the producers that's whatever nobody does. You can
hate me or not. I wasn't, you know, I told
the producers. I did not. I don't know that I
told Carol. I don't remember. Maybe I told Carol and Ramona.
I don't remember. I think it came out in the
story that I told Carol or Ramona, and the producers
wanted me to say it right away, like say it
right away, and I didn't want to ruin the weekend,
(08:16):
and I didn't want it to be like I'm dumping
this now because I want this to be with the
weekend is about and I could. I didn't know when
to say this and how to say it, and I
we were in all these scenes with everybody, and I
was trying to pick up clues. Oh, and I think
that's why I asked her if she was in an
open relationship, because you know how it is the messenger
is gonna get shot, and I thought, maybe this is
(08:37):
okay with them to each his own. I'm not judgmental
about nontraditional relationships. Maybe this is like the way they roll,
and I don't want and all that met all that
is gonna happen. I'm gonna get it in the middle
of this and be the messenger that gets shot, which
is what happened anyway. So I really didn't know how
to enter and play double dutch. I was like So,
I was trying to ask her different questions, and I
just my mind kept playing tricks on me, like if
(08:57):
I television, i'd be like, oh, it doesn't matter, we
have an open relationship, or I don't know. So I
ended up telling her, and then I didn't want to
live in it. You know. It was sort of like
her intervention. Someone called me to go over to her
house years later. I'll tell that story another time. And
I ended up immersed, just like everything else. If I
do really, I'm immersed. If I do any project, I'm immersed.
(09:18):
So I was immersed in this now and I kind
of didn't want to be. I don't want to be.
I just wanted to dump it and walk away. I
wanted to play hot Potato, and you knew you were
gonna be shot. I was a messenger that got shot
in Luan was the woman who doesn't want to know.
And I guess there's about half the people don't really
want to know. So the question is would you want
to know? And she forgave him, and cheaters are going
(09:41):
to cheat, and I respect the fact that she believed
in love and she wanted to love him, and who knows.
It's a it's a weird age. You feel like you're
not gonna sign somebody again. She found somebody and they
were like minded in certain ways of both like to
travel and I don't know, and that's to be to
be honest, that's when the show in real life are
blurred because let's discuss this. So here's the real thing.
(10:03):
In my quote unquote real life. I'm not friendly with Louanne,
so I don't talk to Luanne. So would I tell
her this now? Like I probably wouldn't, But I also
wouldn't be going on a trip with her to Miami.
So now I'm like in this weird And it's so
funny because there was a quote I think page six
(10:24):
where Andy was like, I'm just shocked she's doing this
podcast because you know, she thought The Housewives was toxic.
I don't think they're not mutually exclusive. I do think
The Housewives is toxic. And I'm doing this podcast because
I get to have these conversations and give you clarification
on Colra on something that was happening. So it's like
Bethany should have told, she shouldn't have told. But I'm
(10:44):
not friends. I wasn't really friends. I was really friends
with Carol, I was really friends with Jill, and I
was really friends with Dorinda. You know, um and I
am and I love Sonya like I am friends with
Sonia and I you know, I have a lot of
respect for uh, Dorinda and Housewives and other cities, and
I Kyle for years and all this stuff. But even
if you were friends with someone, getting on the show
(11:04):
as someone is very tricky. And you see that with
Kyle and her own sister. You said, up with Melissa
and her sister in law and Melissa and her own brother.
So trust me, these things don't happen because it's not complicated.
So Luanne and I we're not friends. Off camera, people
forge friendships for the camera because they need alliances, and
you know it's it's a dangerous, scary game. So it's
(11:26):
this fictitious hypothetical situation. Should you tell Luanne in what world?
In the world where I'm on television being produced and
have forged friendships and text people, And I think it's
real because it is real in the moment, So like
it's real in the moment when um, I'm in Puerto
Rico and I'm seeing people up to their ankles in
(11:47):
in in filthy water, but like that's not my all
the time life. You become very present in that. If
I'm sitting in at dinner with Luanne and I'm present
in it, I know her, I've gotten to know her
better because I'm on a show with her. But this
is a hypothetical situation that's now happened. It's it brings
theory into the reality because now I have to tell
Luan on a show. Because also you can't hold information
(12:09):
on a show, like it just doesn't work like that.
If if if someone's husband is cheating, it's coming onto
the show. It's just like it's just an unwritten rule
with everyone. You've seen a thousand times someone's bankrupt, but
they say they have money. You have to say it
someone you know about the lawsuit. There's a lawsuit that's happening.
You have to say it. You have to say it
(12:30):
all mentioned all, mentioned it all. You have to mention
it all on reality TV. So that's this weird world
where people judge the actions of housewives that are acting
under this false pretense, not because it's lying and not
because it's not real, just because it's hypothetical. It's happening
because someone's put you in this experiment where Ramona, myself,
(12:51):
and luand are in the same friend group, and that's
just not the case in real life. So that's why
reality television is different, and that's why it can't be
held to the same standards. And that's why I left,
and that's why I'm here talking about it. So I
like clarifying all this because I forget about it and
(13:12):
I forget what it was like. And I'm an analytical person,
so I definitely don't want to talk about trash. I
just want to talk about reality. Andy Cohen and I
do you have any idea how any beach walks and
conversations and text Andy Cohen and I have about the
housewife since I left it's of the ship we talk about.
(13:32):
I'll just throw them random text and be like, why
is you know what happened with this person? Why did
that person say that? Is this real? Did that person
really mean that? Does this seem to be the case?
Did that person really do it? That's what our textual
relationship is about. So Andy is the first person to
know that just because I left the house boys doesn't
mean I stopped talking about it, because we talked about
(13:53):
it a lot. Hi, everybody, I'm Tyler Florence and I'm
Wells Adams were the hosts of the new podcast Two
Dudes in the Kitchen. You might be asking yourself, why
do these guys have a podcast? Because we love food.
You and I have known each other for a while.
(14:15):
We got a chance to click together on television on
Food Network back in the day, and uh, I gotta
tell you there's no two better guys are more equipped
to take you, guys on a journey through the kitchen.
It's all about great recipes, It's all about connecting with
fantastic techniques and having a great time. Why you're doing it.
It's a podcast for you, for you to call into,
give us your feedback and We're here to answer your
(14:35):
questions and kind of get those kitchen burners fired up.
I got a lot of questions just because I'm not
nearly as good as a chef as you are. So
I'm gonna be asking you a lot of questions, and
you guys out there can ask him as well. It's
gonna be a lot of fun. We're gonna learn a lot,
and you know what, most importantly, we're gonna eat good.
We're gonna eat good. Man, eat good in the neighborhood. Man,
We're here for you. Listen to two dudes in the
kitchen on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcasts or
(14:56):
wherever you listen to podcasts. Yeah, this was such a
crazy situation because you I knew I was walking into
a ship storm. I'm on a show. The nature of
the beast of being on a show is we're supposed
to be revealing ourselves. The nature of this process, sorry,
(15:19):
if this is going to be disappointing, is that you're
not really friends with these people. It's very hard for
them to cast shows where people are really friends in
groups that everybody would want to do it, that you
would even do it with your friends. It just doesn't
work out, and then if all your friends are similar
to you, they're not going to cast a bunch of views.
So all of us are so different, they need to
(15:40):
cast different people. But they really would like brought they
being Bravo and casting that people do have a natural connection.
But look, Housewives started and at one point, you know,
I was the only legally married person there on the
Real Housewives of New York City. So it's kind of
it's real because you're put into situations and reacting in
(16:04):
a real way, but the situations that you're put into
are not real, So that's what makes it challenging. Garcel
Bouvet and Erica aren't hanging out in a regular on
a regular basis. Luanne and I aren't the same type
of person, nor a Ramona and I. And in a
sense though what is authentic. Jill, Ramona and Luan did
(16:29):
run in overlapping circles. They have friends in common. That
makes it a little more interesting also for birthday parties
and just a natural progression. I was an outlier. I
was not friends with any of these people. I knew
I had met Jill and that was it. I had
met Jill. So now you're on a show with people
(16:52):
that you aren't and you become friends with them through
this process because you have dinner on television in front
of a camera with other people, and you enjoy yourself
because you're having a nice meal and you're having a
nice conversation, and you do get to know people, and
you do go to events of theirs. That's what's crazy too.
People are invited to people's weddings that would never be
invited to their weddings, but the producers insist that you
(17:15):
invite them to your bachelortte party. And you get frustrated
because like that wouldn't happen, but you would sign up
for the show. It's a circular reference. You sign up
for the show. You have to be real and you
have to engage with these people and you have to
shoot these scenes. It also becomes a double dip one
stop shop. Okay, you know, I don't entertain really that
much a lot. I have nice China. I want to
show off my house. The show is going to deal
(17:36):
with most of it. Sure, we'll have a party at
my house with these people. As if this is who
I would invite over for the holidays. It's not. But
you do within the show and you end up enjoying
yourself because you get dressed up, you put makeup on,
you have a drink, you're talking to people, you're shooting
a show. You're doing ten things at once, but none
of them are based what your normal life would be
before or after. And anybody who says it is is
not telling the truth. And that's just the fact of
(17:56):
the matter. So, yes, people forge friendships through the process.
That does happen. It's rare, um, it's rare, and I
give them credit for ending up being able to work together.
And then it gets challenging because they're working together and
something comes out, and it's hard to watch someone else
be an authentic and it's hard to sign up for
(18:16):
this process and watch someone else be dishonest about something,
even if they're your closest relative. It's annoying to look
at someone like, that's not what are you talking about,
because then you're getting dirty in there. Not So let's
just say, what's happening with Kyle and Cathy. This is
a speculation, it's just an example. Or Teresa and Melissa,
whatever it is, they've known each other for years. It
(18:40):
becomes awkward and it's coming out because other people will
hold you accountable other people on the show. Wait a second,
we're not going to talk about that. And then also
you're getting dirty you've been doing the show for years,
or you're bringing it all out there and you're you know,
getting taking hits and you're watching someone else not take
any hits. And then and you're you're you're supposed to
protect people and they signed up for the show too,
(19:01):
that's what the show is. So I say all this
to say that with lu Anne, could I have called
her separately off the show. I'm sure I could have.
It's not even part of what was going on. It's
almost like a fraudulent relationship to begin with her and Tom.
It started and it started on the show pretty much.
I mean, she didn't meet him on the show. It
started because Dorinda introduced her to him, and then it
(19:22):
perpetuated on the show and he came on the show.
He signed up for this too. Like if people are
not even part of this and have never showed up
on the show, like someone's child, We're not gonna start
talking with Sonya's daughter who's never been on the show,
and you know it's just a child. But if someone's
person has never been on the show. You know that's
not really fair game. You can't come on the show
and it's all fun and games. Like Tom can't just
(19:43):
come on the show and be like, yes, I'm rich
and I'm a bachelor and I'm engaged and then you know,
something happens and then it's not on the show. You
can't have it both ways, and you can't play stupid
and smart at the same time. So Tom was brought
into the show by Luanne Dorinda adjacent. No fault to Dorenda. Now,
their engagement is a character. They're on the show. Their
marriage and the mistake that she's about to make is
(20:04):
a character on the show. So you know what, you're
damn right, I'm going to mention it all. So that's
why I didn't say it is slightly. We can't pick
and choose. Believe me, if it was me, it would
be the same thing. You're up for grabs. So that's why,
and that's why everyone's bankruptcies and cheating and lawsuits and all.
The ship comes up. And that's why in normal life,
it doesn't come up and pick up and drop off,
(20:24):
you know, like, oh, hey, I heard your fucking your
sister's husband it doesn't come up because they didn't sign
up for this process. This is a group that signed
up for this process. You know. I tried to explain
to somebody that if I see somebody annoying and my
daughter's school like a drop off, I'm not gonna be like, Wow,
that's an interesting choice of blush color. But guess what,
(20:45):
you're on The Housewives. You damn fucking right, it's gonna
come up because that's what the show is. That's the
nature of the past. It's use your outside voice. It's
hide nothing, be vulnerole, be honest, be open, and hide
nothing and let no one else hide anything. So if
I know that Tim Lee tried on wedding dresses ahead
of her wedding, I like, Tinsley, I don't care. Do
whatever you want, cross dress, where your wedding dressed, to
(21:06):
the gym. It's not my goddamn business. I'm on a
show where this is the point. Tinsley and I are
not do not know each other outside of the show.
We met on the show. So you gotta bring it up,
you gotta mention it all. That's what everybody's doing, that's
what goes on. So yes, I mentioned it all. But
I knew coming in that if I'm gonna mention this picture,
I better fucking come correct and have my receipts, which
is why I had the time stamp. You can look up.
(21:29):
I never knew this the time stamp. You know the question,
what time was this? Oh, that couldn't have been. He
was in a Halloween costume with another woman at a
bar at that time, Like you had to have your
ship tight. So I knew the time stamp. And then
I called the restaurant and bluffed them into telling me, yeah,
they were here for a long time, and she paid
the bill because I acted like I knew you got
If you're catching so much cheating or doing something, you
(21:50):
have all the details. Doesn't have to be on reality television.
If you decide you're gonna tell somebody, you better know
everything because you're gonna get shot. And I knew i'd
be the messenger that get shot. How could I not?
And it played exactly how I thought. She'd be nice
in the beginning, and then she'd go off and be
back to hypnotize and want to be with him, and
that's okay, it happens, and you know, there you go,
(22:11):
and you saw it all come to fruition at the party, uh,
the Sinco de Mayo party. So that's what happened. I
happened to be and it's great, yes, And of course
you know I took such an interest in her life.
They thought at one point she thought that I got
a private private investigator, there would be like five thousand dollars.
You're gonna spend five thousand dollars to see what the
fun Tom's doing. It was just crazy. That's what happens
(22:33):
on reality TV because most people are lying about something.
I've seen on this show, lying about having a car,
lying about plastic surgery, lying about how much money you have,
lying about your house and the situation with the mortgage,
or whether you really I've seen lying every which way
but Sunday upside down. Okay, that's I've just seen it
(22:54):
in so many different ways. So everybody that's a viewer,
all the people on the show have quote unquote friends
and freenemies and enemies watching and they are like, what.
It drove people crazy. When we first launched that people
were calling themselves socialites. New York Magazine wrote an article
about them being social It made the real social lites crazy.
(23:18):
They were so frustrated. And I've seen some of them.
I saw them at the after party for the met
Galla one year, and they were like, oh my god,
dolling like because they're the real social lits, which is
also a different shade of bullshit. Tinsley is now played
in both ponds. She's played in quote unquote real social
lites just as big a bunch of Fronten and Stunton
(23:38):
Phoe bullshit superficial losers as we are. They're just real
social lights. And Tensely was a real social lite in
w magazine and all that ship. She's played both sides.
She's done that. She knows that's just as big a
bunch of bullshit as this is. The real social lits
just aren't allowed to buy their husbands do it, or
by their family names do it, or they think they're
(24:00):
above it, and they couldn't possibly. But the real social
lights were so frustrated by the pot the phocial lights,
the focial lights drove them nuts because they think they're real. Oh,
there may be bigger losers over there, and I know
them all, and I know them both. I can't it's
just different losers. And that's why when certain people come
from oh, a real fashion person or a real this,
(24:22):
and they come on the Housewives and they think they're
gonna be a cut above because they're real. That's different.
They come on and there's still lunatics and crazy and
bat shit, and we will crack open someone's crazy like
a goddamn panada you saw, like Kelly was, Kelly was
a real model marriage gil Ben Simon. All that stuff
sounds good when they're coming in. Then they come in
(24:43):
and they're like, oh fuck, I've been found out. Nothing
will crack open someone's true character, Like the house was
like a real fucking pinata, whether we're friends with the
other people or not. So I said what I said,
I mentioned at all, and I would do it again
if I were on that show. But I am not.
(25:08):
I left the Housewives. It wasn't good for me, and
it wasn't what I walked into all those years ago. Also, sorry,
not sorry. The biggest thing that ever happened wasn't I'm
up here, you're down here, or a table flip like
crazy ship has gone on. So yes, I left that.
I don't want to be there. That's my own choice.
You know what else is my own choice to talk
(25:29):
about it and reflect on my experience years later, iconic
episodes and also like in my on my Own terms,
on my own show, I when I was there, I
had no control. I didn't produce the show. I didn't
decide the trips. I didn't decide the restaurants. I didn't
decide what we were doing. I didn't decide who I
get to hang out with. I had an experience where
(25:51):
I cast somebody. I gave this person. It happened a
couple of times, and right before filming I found out
that that person was going to be on the show. Like,
no one's gonna tell me that the person that I
brought in? Why did I even go out of my
way to cast all those people? It makes you feel
insulted in like a loser, right. It makes you feel
like you're the last one to know. Kelly Rippe has
described finding out on air that she um that her
(26:14):
hosts worry they're leaving or you know, being replaced or something.
On air she found out like a schmuck. I felt
like the schmuck, Like, wait, what, I have not no
control where ponds, where puppets, no sheep, no control no
control over editing. Something terrible happens, something's discussed about somebody
you love that's really damaging. No, it doesn't matter. I
(26:36):
can't beg They don't care. You say something by accident
that's terrible, could have ruined your life, gets you canceled,
affect everything you built in your life. Don't know you
have no control over that. Okay. I have seen Ramona
beg plead and cry. I have seen Kyle beg plead
and cry. They don't want that stuff take put in there.
It affects their lives and their family. Doesn't fucking matter.
(26:57):
They don't have the power to take it out. They
made a mistake. Mistakes are great for reality television. Mistakes
are what make reality television thrive. Someone is off the
wagon and they go back on. Get the cameras up.
Someone's an addict and they're doing what you know, they're
not supposed to be doing as an addict. Get the cameras.
(27:19):
You know. That's just that's been that's what it is.
That is not what we're doing here. So let's just
so that was not on my own terms. This is
on my own terms. Another thing, listen to the show.
It's that a trash and grabbed ever a trashing people
were giving color and breaking things down. We're talking and
I'm reflecting on an experience and my alma mater. I've
a right to talk about something I experience. I didn't
(27:41):
know I was in the Handmaid's Tale and housewives and
Housewives hosts are gonna, you know, scold me because I
did think it was toxic and I did leave, and
I explained very very nicely why I left. I didn't
say it's a ship box. I didn't say I said
it's toxic and it wasn't where I wanted to be.
That's what I've said in the US. That's the truth
(28:01):
over here. You leave your college, maybe it wasn't a
good experience. You can you're still allowed. And I thought,
ine with freedom of speech to talk about the college
you left. You were on you know, a TV show
years ago. You were unsaved. But by the belt, I
said to Mario, maybe that wasn't his best time of
his life. He's still allowed as a grown ass man
to talk about say by the belt, like go on
and on. You had a job you hated, You're allowed
(28:22):
to talk about it. You had a marriage, or next
you hated, you had a teacher, You're you hated or
you didn't like, or that you didn't want to beat
you not even hated. You had a job that you
chose to leave last I checked out of Gill Lead.
You're allowed to talk about that job, So I am
allowed to talk about my former life. That was a
(28:43):
quarter of my life. Did I get a lot bot
of me? Was? Did I go to the invasion of
the body Snatchers and they removed part of my brain?
So I'm not going to talk about something that was
a quarter of my life. Ladies and gentlemen like, what, Yeah,
that's my alma mater, and I also made that as
much as that made me a different caliber person has
gone on since me to try to do what I've
done and ask the producers. They've said that so good,
(29:05):
I've paved the way. But I'm allowed to talk about
the way that I paved. Next thing. I am not
a disgruntled employee that was fired. Many podcasts and many
you know, many podcasts or many people go on to
talk about that experience. They've been fired. They have a
skewed perspective. They're not happy, they want to be there,
(29:26):
they're angry, they're frustrated, they want to give snark. I
want to celebrate the craziness and how funny and ridiculous
it was at its best, by the way, many of
these episodes I'm doing, or when it was at its best,
you don't see me talking right now that Jen Shaw
scamming people, allegedly scamming people through a telemarketing scheme. I
don't find that to be can't be and amusing. I
(29:48):
haven't seen that show, but from what it sounds like,
it doesn't sound fun. So if you're gonna come for me,
you better come with everything you got. And if you're
gonna take a shot at this bee, you're better not
motherfucking miss because this time you all missed. So about
Tom is about a man who who was stupid enough
(30:12):
to cheat, who was drinking, which is something he seemed
to do very often and in volume, and a woman
that truth be told. I wasn't happy to deliver that news.
Many times I will not lie on house as you're
kind of like, wow, you want to stick it to somebody.
This was not one of those times I was. I
felt badly for her. A woman of a certain age
(30:34):
wants to be in a relationship met a guy he
seemed to check some boxes had a couple of dollars.
You know, lives in New York. Who likes to run
around like the Jets, that likes to drink like the party,
like to travel, is very social at night like it
seemed like a good fit. Wants to get married again,
loves to be loved. Luanna's a hopeless romantic. Now she's
going down the wrong road. I was still on the
worst road in my life, and I couldn't even really
(30:54):
talk about it. So you're watching someone walk into a
fire and you want to tell them not to walk in.
It happened years later, which we'll get into about an
intervention with lan I. I staged an intervention. Everybody involved
will verify that I was leading the charge. I took
days of my life. I got her paid for a
reunion that she would never have gotten paid for. I
got her sent to rehab and it paid for and
(31:16):
she left early. And I don't do anything half ass.
So I walked into this and I didn't want her
to marry him. I thought I was helping her, and
you see what happened years later. But we all make mistakes.
She was the woman who didn't want to know, and
you know she might have been a woman that doesn't
really care about fidelity that much, and that's her body
and her choice also, So I said what I said,
(31:37):
I did what I did. It was an explosive, crazy, iconic,
high rating episode because usually these episodes that are multiple,
multiple to be continued episodes, or usually these trips that
are multiple to be continued episodes, you have to go
all the way to France to get that kind of drama.
That was pretty insane, and it didn't unfold the way
(31:57):
that I thought it would. I can't believe it. It It
was crazy that that happened, but it happened. And truth
is stranger than fiction. So Luann didn't want to know,
and it was all about time. I will be watching
It's About Tom with Kevin Nealon, so we are going
to break down this episode and it's going to be
one for the ages, one for the books, an amazing
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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