December 5, 2022 • 47 mins
Being a Real Housewife means you’re bankrolled. Or does it?
Money guru Suze Orman joins Bethenny to break down the financial falsities of the Real Housewives. Find out how to spot a closer vs a poser.
RHOA - S2E1 “New Attitude, Same ATL”
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
M Today, we're going to Atlanta for one of my
favorite Housewives ever, Shari's defining moments In this Housewives episode,
Say throws herself an independence party, obviously to celebrate her divorce,
and gets into an absurdly ridiculous fight with her party planner.
(00:23):
This is the who Gonna check me? Boo get with
Pookie and them. Sharay is at her finest best in
this episode. This episode uncovers crazy spending, business flops, and
struggles for financial independence. So there is no better person
to join me on today's episode than money experts Susie Orman.
This is a ride, an adventure, and a lesson in finances.
(00:48):
This is a Housewives episode you don't have to feel
guilty about talking about. You'll enjoy yourself and get amazing
financial takeaway advice. Do you watch The Housewife overall? Are
you aware of who anybody is or you? This is
(01:09):
just the very first episode I watched was this one?
So do you have any idea who I am as
a person? I know all about you, your charity, your
TV show. I know everything about you. I watched you
when you're on Shark Tank. But about you as the
the Housewife, I don't know, I know your successes and
(01:33):
what you're proud of, not that you're not proud of
you and your work that you did with you that
those are the stuff that I love about you. Thank you.
I love that. I appreciate that. So it doesn't matter
that you've never watched The Housewife because I hadn't seen
these Atlanta episodes, which are vintage for a long time,
(01:55):
and I've recently been watching New York episodes around the
same time, and it's yard because the Atlanta episode don't
um age as well. I don't know if it's the
it's the production of them. They seem more dated than
the New York ones, and I don't know why, but
they see like you really can see the difference, and
obviously the technology that that's no one's fault. I just
(02:18):
think that the show seems so dated and when I
watch it and it's it's really surprising. I mean, what
did you think about just the way that the show
overall looks like the tech, the lack of hair, makeup,
like that sort of thing, because the shows now have
a glimmer that is very different than what this was. Well,
given that this was the very first housewife of any
(02:42):
rendition that I ever saw, and it actually got me
curious wanting to watch what happened to these women because
it was like I cared about them. I'm like, no,
this is just stupid. You are making the worst financial
moves I've ever seen, Like, because you always want to
root for somebody, you want them to be okay. You
(03:03):
don't want them just to be dumb right here that
you want to say no, if you do this, then
you can be more. You can really have more and
not hide behind all this stupid glamour that they think
it's glamor well, by the way, but that's the entire Housewives.
Like you should literally be a Housewives consultant because when
(03:23):
I explained to you that I know the money that
the people actually have and they roll way deeper than
I do. For those of you listening, we're talking about
the who Gonna Check Me Boo episode with say I'm
talking to Susie Orman has never ever watched The Housewives.
This particular franchise, UH section meaning Atlanta is the highest rated,
(03:47):
has always been maybe Beverly Hills as eclipse them, but
they've always been very high rated and they roll very
deep in the Bentley's and the rolls, rooices and the
houses which Susie are more in the suburbs are not
in Atlanta proper, so they are not expensive. Meaning there's
an eighteen thousand serfort house there that could be one
point something million dollars, where in New York City you
could have a two thousand servant department be ten million dollars.
(04:09):
So that's a lot of the all show and no
go of this the way this show looks. But we're
getting into Sharai. So when Susie says she was a
little bit of a mess, we're talking about Scherai moving
into her new house and a state of her divorce,
the foreclosure, the custody. Let's hear what you have to
say about all that, Suzi. Oh my god, where do
I start? So the first thing when you're introduced to Sharai,
(04:32):
she says this thing that people are intimidated by my success.
That's like her tagline. You're being introduced to all the women,
and I'm sitting there thinking, what success? Right? What success?
What are you talking about? Our people intimidated by your success?
(04:53):
Or are you Charai intimidated by your lack of success? Oh? Susie,
you have no idea. You're walking into something that's also
current now over a decade later, because right now, say,
I guess there's a line of clothing, but they found
out that it's actually stuff that she buys from sheen
some Asian company, or it looks exactly like she puts
(05:14):
her own label on. So it's still going on ten
years later about this fashion line that never sort of
showed up, and it's still going on right now. So
you're talking about something ten years ago that's current now,
So go ahead, keep going. Well, the thing is, and
the reason it's going to stay current is because they
think money is what shows independence. Money does this, and
(05:36):
you know, and I know that money is not the
bottom line of what makes somebody successful. You're not even
talking about money. It's even worse, Susie, because it's not money.
It's a car isn't money. A car could be leased
and you don't own it, and it's just shows. So
it's not money. I would never say somebody's intimidated by
my success, right because you probably wouldn't drive a five
(06:00):
undred dollar rose where sub either. No, because I still
have a car that's eleven years old. But you have money,
so so I'm just because you said money, so you
me and the material. I'd rather have money invested and
in the bank and growing for me than in a
depreciated asset. I am no desire to impress the person
(06:21):
next to me at a stop sign that I don't
even know right but to do that. But on broad
this is the land where Jersey Housewives Teresa paid for
all her furniture over a hundred thousand dollars in cash
in the beginning, and then she and her husband went
to jail for tax evasion a couple of years later.
So you're walking into a situation where I was cast
on the show in a studio apartment from furnished by
(06:43):
a Kia only because of my personality. I would never
be cast now because they will only cast people that
seem to have an aspirational, wealthy lifestyle. So it's a
circular reference and people have to keep showing, and a
lot of times it's all show no go foreclosures by grupcies,
you know, law cases where it's fraudulent. So this is
(07:04):
where you're walking in. So now, all right, so I'm
walking in. That's the first thing I noticed. Then the
next thing she says, I All I want out of
this divorce is seven figures. And I'm sitting there thinking
seven figures isn't gonna get you anything, Like why is
that the only thing number one that you want is
(07:25):
seven figures? And why is it that? What I would
want out of a divorce, Not that I know about that,
because I'm happily married. But what I would want out
of a divorce is my own independence, my own knowing
that I can do anything on my own that somebody
else doesn't need to hold me up. Money doesn't need
(07:47):
to hold me up. I can hold up the entire world.
That's what I would want out of a divorce. But
all Charai wants is seven figures. And what's so sad
in the end. I don't know she ever got it
or not. But this Bob person who she was married to,
he doesn't have a pot to pean, right, So you
can't just think, you can't just wish a wizard unicorn
(08:08):
is going to bring seven figures in. And you're right,
um in the sense like it's a Tina Turner thing.
She wanted her name, she wanted her independence. But even
in the land of intelligence, UM sure would want to
be free of debt to be free of this man.
He could pull her down to they're still married. When
you are married and getting divorced, you are liable for
part of whatever the hell they've got going on. So
(08:29):
you might just want Tina Turner style your goddamn name
and to have a clean slate. We can't wish for
unicorns to jump through the window if they're not coming
with this guy who has no money and is a deadbeat. Yeah,
so so that was it was obvious that he had
no money because who allows a house to go into
foreclosure with their own credit, with their own credit and
(08:53):
who is nineteen months behind on their child's support. So
what that says right there is that Sara can act
like she's a businesswoman, she can act like she knows
about money, But how do you act and pretend when
you don't even know that nobody is making the payments
(09:13):
on your home? Fact, nobody tell that's so true. How
are you a business person if your house goes into
foreclosure you can't. Then you're literally setting women back a
hundred fifty years saying that the man sees all the bills.
It's everything you talk about in your podcast. You have
to know your own ship, and you're saying, she's the
definition of a person who just like blindly listen to
(09:33):
a man about what was going on with the numbers.
Teresa blindly listen to a man and went to jail
for it, Like you know, we have to either we
can't play stupid and smart at the same time as
what you're saying, Yeah, so it's it's that was sad
to me, right because the court ordered that he was
to pay the mortgage. But how many men in the world,
and how could she not know that? Could she not
(09:55):
have real life friends that obviously the partner had screwed
them and they lost their home and they lost things,
and at this age, real life would have said to her,
the court ordered it, but I better check up on it, right,
She never once opened up nothing. And how do you
(10:15):
go nineteen months and not get money that you're owed
and just go, oh, it's okay, you're right. And that
would be helping women. That would be being on the
show and actually helping women instead of talking about all
the money you're gonna get and pretending you're savvy and
being vulnerable and telling the truth about your flaws. Then
you might be able to teach someone something because not
everyone knows that, but at least you would know what
(10:37):
you don't know, and then the audience. That's a good one. Okay.
Moving along to Kim, who had she's now married, has
multiple kids, which the psychic predicted she'd have more kids.
But she was in a relationship for all these beginning
episodes with a guy called Big Papa who was having
are only of dollars, who would do anything for her,
already did for her as he left her, right, he
(11:00):
left her, and but I think they might have shared
some real estate together. I don't know. She's another one
who likes to show this stuff in the suburbs of Atlanta.
So did you notice how many powers she had? She
drove in that one episode she had her big Bentley
convertable that she drove, and then she had when she
(11:23):
drove up to a party, she had a big white suv.
It was a Rench rovers right. And so here's one
woman already with two cars that total over four hundred
thousand dollars between the two of them. So the the
illusion of wealth there is nothing more than illusion, right.
(11:47):
She can't even she says she wants to open up
a wig business, but she doesn't need the patients to
sit through one class that maybe she could learn about
how do you open? How do you do that? How
do you do you do right? So she was a
she was a loser from the second I saw her.
So we're seeing you're seeing a theme here of like
(12:08):
it's more important to to show other people that you
have I think it's a big problem with unhappiness in
the country. It's more important to show other people how
great your life is than for you to focus on
your life actually being great. That's a big thing, and
that's a big thing in The Housewives. It is all
show and no go in many cases at all, crumbling
down from many people. And even the decision and I'm
(12:30):
sorry I don't remember her name. The woman who was
married to the football place that Oakland Raiders and and
he got dismissed was let oh. And so here he is.
He doesn't have a job, they have one kid, and
now they're talking about having to when he doesn't have income.
It's like, who knows what's going to happen to him?
(12:52):
You could tell she doesn't really want to in this
one episode, well, I'm not sure my hands are full
with the kid. We are pready have, but yet she's
already been submissive and really giving up her power. I
have to tell you, Bethany, this episode was a lot
about financial abuse and how the women allowed themselves to
(13:16):
be in a situation where they were and maybe still are,
being financially abused. Obviously, Serai was abused by Bob. Don't
tell me that the only time that she saw that
he was irresponsible with money was after they got divorced.
And the idea of a rich man having having their
(13:36):
their side piece that can't mention who the rich man
is and he's supporting her and giving her that's financially
abusive too, is what you're saying. That's like toxic, right,
And so you can see that kind of through the
whole thing, that financial abuse is present. And what's fascinating
about Gerai is with this stupid independence party or that
(13:59):
she wants to show everybody she gets involved with another
abusive man. Anthony, your take is epic because no one's
ever said this before, and it's so obvious and it's
so perfect for you to be commenting, and not only
on this episode, but on this whole franchise and this
concept in this country about showing how much we have
(14:22):
and not even and doing so much talking and showing
without being educated at all. I mean, the other day
I called my business manager and I said, because I
know I've been making a decent amount of money on
certain things, but I also know I've been spending a
decent money on amount of money on certain things. And
I also know I'm not great at knowing every single detail.
So I know what I don't know um and I
(14:42):
will ask other people around me if there's something that
I don't know and and crowdsource then make my own decision.
But I called him not but I said, I know
you represent a lot of different clients, and based on
where I am, how am I spending like because I
remember when I first sold my business asking a business
manager if I could go buy a full price of
Lubaton back in Dallas. He's like, you just sold your Yes,
(15:03):
you can buy the bag. But I'm frugal in that way,
like I, So I said, he said, well, I have
people that make a lot of money that are very
cheap and spend nothing, and then I know people that
go crazy and spend way over there or over their skis,
and you're right in the middle. I said, that's fine,
as long as you know your own temperature of what
you want to be doing. Like I know what I have,
and I know what's with an s steg Is, and
(15:25):
and then I know that he's saying, I'm in the middle.
I'm not. I'm not getting an A, but I'm not
getting an F. I'm getting a C in spending versus
what you make. And I at this one time in
my life, maybe okay with that. But you have to
know the temperature, I think is what you're saying. No
one even knows what the hell is going on behind
the scenes. It's not only the temperature of money, it's
the temperature of who you are and why you are
(15:48):
making the decisions you're making, you know. On the Women
in Money podcast, I focus more on the emotional side
of money than money it'sself. By the way, that's what
I money noise, the relationship to money, That's what I'm
talking about. The relationship you have with money. Money noise.
But the relationship you have with money is identical to
(16:09):
the relationship you have with yourself because money can't do
anything without you. So if you don't value who you are,
you will see money come in, go out. And it
will never stay. That's why I have this saying that
self worth equals net worth. Once you start making money
and you have money, if you don't have self worth
(16:32):
at that point, you will define yourself by the money
you're making versus you defining your money. I understand you're saying,
it's the dog the tailwagon. The dog you need to
be driving the program. You need to be in the
driver's scene, and the money is the passenger. I like it, okay, So, um,
I like it a lot. So say, in keeping with
(16:54):
this theme, and by the way, this particular episode focuses
on sure a lot. Another one might focus on someone else.
So we're talking a lot about Shurey who why do
happen to enjoy as a television character? Um? So, she's
doing this part and she believes her own myth, and
it's always bigger than the top. And she built this
house it never got bill called Chateau Chay, or maybe
it eventually got built, but it took years. And there's
(17:14):
always this outlandish stuff. So Queen of the Night, she's
going to do a Queen of the Night party and
arrived by helicopter and be carried in by male models.
So so so, well, what do you think? Here's the
big reveal. There. She goes to this designer party planner
(17:34):
by the name of Anthony Right, and Anthony, like any
buddy who wants a client, smoothes her, brings her in,
gets her to sign up with him and another woman
and they're on TV and the and the company's on
TV at this time, meaning the company is good, make
wants to look good on t V. Got it right?
(17:55):
Then it turns out what Anthony wants to do is
not what to wants to do, and they get into
this huge fight. What that represents is Shara went from
one abusive relationship with Bob in the desire to throw
an independence party and led her directly to another abusive
(18:20):
relationship with Anthony, who wanted to control everything, and she
totally once again the mistakes she made with Bob repeated
with Anthony, and now he's screaming at her they have
to take him away. I don't know if she ever
got her party or not, but the mere fact that
(18:42):
that happened should show everybody watching how truly powerless Sharay is.
Because she needs to ask her hair dresser while she's
getting her hair done, what should I do. And it's
the hairdresser that says, you have to call him up
and show him that your boss. You have to show
(19:03):
him that you're running the party. She needed her hairdresser
to encourage her to do that. What kind of dying? Amazing? Like,
you're right, you're saying, she's saying, she's a successful business woman,
she's in charge, and now she's got her hairdresser telling
her what to do with her abusive event planner. Do
(19:25):
you think the event planner was entirely wrong? And how
would you handle it if you were shredded? First of all,
I would have wanted to know what it was gonna cost.
They never once talked about what this party was going
to cost. I still don't understand where her money came
to buy the house or move into the house that
she moved into, and she's there in boxes and the
(19:49):
kids up moving everything. She didn't have professional movers do that,
number one, or she wouldn't have been moving. But but
I want to just skip back for one thing. She
said something that was key to every thing in this
one scene when she was in her house, she didn't
want her children to know what was going on. And
(20:09):
what's interesting about that she didn't want to tell them
that they didn't really have money, and that that that
that she didn't want them to know. For everybody watching
this and watching a program like that, if you think
your kids do not already know, I have a bridge
to sell you. Your kids know exactly every time you
(20:31):
fought with your husband. They know everything that's going on.
And you're allowing them and teaching them rather than teaching
them strength and independence, you are teaching them lies. You
are teaching them how to not stand in their truth. You, Charay,
are doing more damage to those kids by pretending to
(20:52):
be something you're not versus being honest with them and
showing what you can all be as a family. So amazing,
that's so true. There's a way to do it. They
were old enough. But there's a time when my daughter
realized things were going on in my life and there
was a time and a way to discuss it. And
(21:12):
I see so many parents nothing in front of the kids,
and nothing in front of the kids, like that's not
necessarily great parenting. You know, if you at least know
what's going on, you can deal with it and you
can have a team to work on. It's it's so
funny because with custody things and with divorce things, there's
a way to speak to young children. But I had
to discuss certain things as my daughter in a very
realistic manner, and it was helpful. It was more evolved
(21:36):
because they're watching part of a picture and they're confused
because they only have a couple of the puzzle pieces.
So they're making up their own stories in their mind,
and they're expressing themselves in different ways at school. And
I think that that's really astute of you to say that,
and notice that I like that. That's very interesting. Only
you could make this an intelligent episode. Um so really,
(21:57):
only you could. So do you have you heard of
Nani in the world besides this episode? Needy Leak, she's
a character. She was sort of the breakout character of
this show. She's not in this episode that much. In
this is earlier on in the year. She's the one
(22:18):
who's the singer. She's no, that's Candy, Oh that's Candy.
Nini is the one. She's like Candy a lot. Well,
Candies is smart, but yes, we're gonna get into Candy.
But Nini was making like the sexual references with the
thousand dollars on the curtains and the champagne bottle, and
and Dwight comes over, and the one that where she
(22:40):
had the designer come over and they opened a champagne. Yes,
that was Nanie with the stylist right saying that you
spent fifteen thou dollars on drapes and now they need
to be longer. Yeah, that girl needs some style. That
girl needs some classes, because that's she's class. No, but
(23:01):
over the course of years, I don't know if she
got class by your definition, but she became more into
fashion and style and she changed her look a lot
over the years. Some of the house was get excited
that they're very successful and they call themselves rich. But
me and he was the first one to start with
like I'm rich, bitch on this show. And it's again,
you know, it's about how much money you Actually, I
(23:23):
can't see any wealth there with her. And it's even
to notice that that curtains should be fifteen inches longer
or whatever. It's like all I got from her in
the very brief because I paid more attention to Shara. Yeah,
you're right today, Yeah, it was that really, it just
(23:43):
there wasn't There was no there there and what I say, class.
What I mean is again, it's not how your place
is decorated. It's not even what you decorate your place with.
It's how you you make people feel when they're in
your place, so you can have a little It's so
(24:04):
she was like and just so caught up in everything.
She kind of bored me, so I just fast forward
it through her. Okay, fine, So back to Sheay's meeting though,
when she said, who go and check me boo? And
do you ever get lit and you want to let go?
I mean because I do sometimes once in a while
somebody needs to get slept. So in that case, I don't.
I mean, you said he had to be taken out.
(24:25):
I think she did. She not win that round? Did she?
Who won that round? To that fight with him? I
think she went all in. I have to tell you,
I think she lost the round. You do and let
me hear why? Because I thought, who gonna check me boo?
Is a great line? Yeah? So those are great line
make great television. Yes, but let's not say nobody's watching
(24:45):
it and it's just the two of them and nobody
ever sees that, okay happen. Let's do it all right now,
here she is paying good money to have her dream
in four or five days come true, and she hasn't
talked to the poet, has no idea if that's going
to happen or not. She's not going to get a helicopter.
(25:06):
And she what she really wanted by giving this party
more than all the flamboyants, believe it or not, is
she wanted to feel that she could do something and
she was in control because she has been out of
control dependent until this one party. And even though she
kept saying that this party is for everybody else to
(25:29):
see that you can survive after divorce and you can
do all of these things, this party was for her
right to show her that she could actually pull something
off that she was proud of. That makes me You
don't even know how the foreshadowing is though, because it
happens again later where she has a fashion show and
there are no fashions. It's called she by Say, but
(25:50):
she doesn't have the she by Say fashion. So it's
funny that Say is an interesting character because you are
presenting something that seems to become a theme for her
in like she wants to show that she can. Sonia
Sonya on New York As moments like this too. She
wants to show everybody that she can do it. And
we're all waiting and you're saying that it's not going
(26:11):
that great, so sorry, back to the meeting with them
and that. But but Bethany, who she really wants to
show is herself because when all the cameras are off
and everything and she's just by herself, she's broke. She's
living the lie to her kids. She's so angry at
her ex spouse because he had no money, didn't live
(26:33):
up to it, she had a move, she doesn't know
how she's gonna pay bills, and except for the fact
that she gets a paycheck from Housewives, other than that,
it's like, how is she going to do anything? And
if ever she's not on Housewives, she's screwed. Well, by
the way. That's by the way, let me tell you
about a circular reference. That's a big thing that happens
with Housewives. So people get that happened with Alex and Simon.
(26:55):
People get cast and the first season I made seven
thousand two and all for the whole season. But it
was something I took out in the contract. That's attribute.
That's the reason for my great success because I knew
what to cross out and get paid seven thousand to fifty.
But what happens is people this is it. They're gonna
be famous, and so they are going to spend and
the show is going to catch up with it, and
(27:18):
they're gonna have these storylines in these businesses because they
need to have something to show the show to stay
on so the salary can keep up. And you see
this vicious cycle, and it's not that easy for people
like you know, Theresa goes through this whole thing, going
away to jail and stuff, and now she has a
wealthy or a man who seems to be wealthy as
a husband, but she stayed on that show to hustle
(27:40):
for her kids because she went to jail and lost
all this income and her ex husband was a Doug divorce.
So it happens a lot of people that Erica Jane
the richest. How she looks so rich, her husband's a
big lawyer. All that gets in all that trouble. She's
got to stay on the show now to keep the
music going. So it becomes this vicious cycle, particularly with
how was I get on. I don't really have a
(28:01):
lot of money. I have to show that I have money.
But then I'm spending too much money to show that
I have money, so to show us to pay me
to keep up with the money that I'm sure do
you see, It's like it's like getting into debt. It's
housewives debt. It's housewives debt. So going back to who
won the argument, she lost the mission of the party.
She failed dramatically there. And it doesn't matter how tough
(28:26):
you talk, and do you win in a fight and
you know, lash out with each other. I mean, one
of the strongest things she's could have done is got up,
walked out, canceled the party and say screw you, sue
me for the check. Nice That that's power, that power,
(28:47):
and sending out a notice to everybody that Anthony is
the worst planning you know, party planner. He screwed this up.
You right him, but don't ever use him because I'm
out of here, right, that's right, Just saying that what
you just said is powerful. It's so true. Um, do
you believe in psychics because Kim goes to the psychic
and I want to know if you believe in psychics
(29:09):
or do you think it's a waste of money? Totally.
I believe in psychics, I believe in astrologers. I believe
in all of that. I love that. And by the way,
that guy correct that that woman predicted her and she
did have she did have more children, and she did
have and what she says she will have a boy,
(29:29):
Yeah she does. The audience at that time doesn't know that.
But now in real life of watching years later, that
that that psychic Rose told her her future. She left
Big Papa. But did she because Rose told her that
somehow planned for that to happen, not that it would
be a boy, but it might be a child. So
(29:51):
she was looking to have that happen because she had
so many kids. She was gonna have a boy. She
had four more kids since then or something great. So
it was like, was that whatever or not? But I
don't think it hurts it all. You have a belief
in somebody that has proven to you that they're a
great psychic, they're a great astrologer. You know, not everyone is.
(30:15):
Not everyone is a great money person. So you have
to know are they great at what they do? And
if they are, I use all the help I can
get in predicting the markets and whatever. You know, it
was about it. It was before It was December of
two thousand and nineteen, and I have been seeing astrologers
(30:39):
and things like that, and it all the stars came
up that in February of two thousand and twenty something
was going to happen that would change this world forever.
And I started to talk about it on the Women
in Money podcast and I started to warn everybody, I
don't know what's going to happen. I just have this feeling.
Be careful for February of two thousand and twenty, which
(31:02):
is when the pandemic hit and the markets went all
the way down again. Using all my resources that I do.
They end when oil was down thirty dollars a barrel,
you had to pay people to take oil away. It
was like get into oil. Now's the time. And I
(31:23):
go on the podcast and I say, this may be
the stupidest thing I've ever said. I want all of
you to buy this specific exchange traded fund that's all
energy and oil went from twenty two up to almost ninety.
That's insane. Everybody get back in the market. Do not
sell here. This is a blip, right, Just stay And
(31:45):
everybody made a whole lot of money. So I use
everything I can, from technical to to you name it.
I take all the tools and I put them together
to tell the millions of people what I think they
should do. That's unbelievable, um, but believable. So Candy, you like?
(32:16):
Candy is talking about doing, um, a version of the
Vagina Monologues, an updated version. She's talking with Lisa, who
later gets let go from the show. Just so you know,
Candy has been on and still is on now, and
she's a successful musician who is frugal. And I think
she mentions that she doesn't need to show all the
bells and whistle. She has nice things, but she's probably
more you know in my philosophy where she buys. But
(32:38):
she knows she's she's good. So you liked Candy? Why
did you like her? Because there were certain things that
she said, which was she was going to she wanted
to do it herself. She wanted to do this album herself.
She knew she had talent, she knew she made other people,
that she wrote music for a lot of my need
(33:00):
so she knew she was the real deal. And there
was something about her look that I liked her look.
I liked the simple haircut. I liked the even though
it was fashionable. I liked her clothes. I liked that
she was gonna go for it, but because she was
(33:21):
going to go for it, not because some beau or
Bob or whatever big Daddy was going to support her,
whether that ended up happening or not. I liked her
sense of independence and her sense of self worth. And
so even though she was in a relationship and was
talking about moving in with her daughter, you felt like
(33:41):
she had a strong sense of You feel like she
has a strong sense of self. She was the one
who had one daughter and was going to possibly marry
somebody with six kids? Was that right? Is that? Who
is right? And her mother did not like that. Her
mother's tough and has judged a lot of the people
she's been with, including the and she married and that woman.
(34:02):
The man that she was engaged to gets killed, Like
you can't believe this is real. Yes, he gets killed.
It they're gonna park a lot. So she lost her fiance.
And so then does she have to mother all six kids? No,
she just has She has her daughter, and she ends
up in a relationship with so much that she meets
as a producer on the show, and then he becomes
talent on the show because now he's with her. Like,
(34:24):
sometimes the truth is weirder than the fix. I mean
this stuff that I'm talking to you about it watching
back is crazy to watch Candy telling her daughter about
this man that they're going to blend with and that
that man don't isn't but her daughter didn't want to blend.
The other thing I liked about Candy was the relationship,
at least on this one episode she had with her daughter,
(34:45):
talking not to her daughter so to speak, but to
have an equal relationship. And her daughter felt the ability
to be honest with her mother that she did not
like this, She was not happy about it. So why
that made me like Candy is that that says to me,
that's a mother who raised a daughter. And she was
(35:09):
so fascinating when she said, my mother was a single mother,
my grandmother was a single mother, my dad DA and
now I was a single mother, right, isn't I think
that was her who said that, And she raised her
daughter and you could tell her daughter was strong, yes,
And did her daughter get that strength from she got
(35:30):
that strength from her mother at that age. And that
made me like her. I didn't like, however, when her
daughter was more interested and possibly watching TV in that
one little segment that she finally said, fine, watched TV
and leave when you could tell her daughter still wanted
to talk more to her about this, but Candy couldn't
(35:50):
deal with what her daughter was saying to her. Probably,
and then you're also where the cameras are there, so
you have always think about the fact that whatever her
daughters saying, this is also early on in years that
nobody knows how stuff is coming out of the oven
and how you're gonna be portrayed, and the daughters are
uncomfortable in his cameras in her house. So it's just
it's different, and it's funny. The shows back then had
a greater authenticity because people didn't have full hair and
(36:13):
makeup and glam squads, and they just wore with their
what you and I were wearing right now, like you're
you know, just just just s wear, like normal clothes.
Now it's costumes and like crowns, and it's it's clown like.
It's crazy people because it's meta and everyone's sort of
showing off because they know they're on television. Back then,
there were just some cameras and you were wearing a
sweater out of your closet because it was real. Back then,
(36:35):
you were doing real. So that's one of the things
that's different too. There was like a there's an authenticity
to it that that I don't see as much anymore.
People do miss that. Um and Candy. This is also
vintage housewives, and Candy is talking about she doesn't buy
jewelry and flashy items and she's focused on investing in
real estate. Don't forget, this is like in her thirties.
(36:57):
This isn't when everybody's like now in their fifties. This
is in her thirties, and she's already had a music
career and had albums go I Guess, gold and platinum
and made money. And she's talking about investing in real estate.
So I knew you would like that. I did like that,
and I like that. She looked at her wall and
she had all her platinum albums and everything up there,
and she liked that, and that was a representation of
(37:20):
what she did. She displayed what she did. That's a
sense of self worth. So later at the party, when
meaning you're not that interested in and Shari have a discussion,
Charai doesn't Shari say she did get a seven figure settlement.
Didn't she say that that did actually happen? Or no,
(37:41):
she said, she's asked the question did you get us?
Did you get your seven figures? And Shari says, the
judge awarded me it, but it's not in my bank
account yet. Oh it's like saying child So he also
didn't pay nineteen months told whatever you said a child support? Oh?
So yes. And by the way, people need to realize
(38:02):
that just getting to court can take so long, and
getting a judge to do something is very different than
getting a judge to enforce something, because that's then the law.
The judge is not a cop. It's the legal system
is so challenging. So even if she was quote unquote awarded,
it's fiction until it gets into the bank account. And
did she ever get it? That's what I bet you
(38:22):
she didn't. But that's a great question that will come up.
I will ask any money, No way she got any money. Um,
So it's funny. I don't know if kim zols Yek
still has a wig business, but it's interesting that she
wasn't interested in learning about the craft that it takes
to do that, to do to launch a wig business.
(38:45):
She didn't seem in. She wasn't interested in anything other
than somebody making her comfortable, rich and providing for her
very interesting. She would say she was interested in. Yeah,
she might say that she's in instead of making her
own money, and she has had shows and stuff. But
as you know, just explain to everybody. You know what
(39:06):
people make on TV, and it's not like what people
make on Finance or Wall Street. And you know what
it costs to live all these lives as people are living,
and you know what businesses are really making for the
people listening. Just because you're selling some handbags or selling
some wigs or selling some leggings, you have no idea
how much work it takes to actually make any kind
(39:27):
of real money. For all of that, I sell everything,
I sell dressing, I sell apparel, I sell popcorn and
so many different things. It takes a long time to
really see real checks. And they're not like game changing,
life changing wrote range over SUV checks like they're not
(39:47):
over the course of years. Yes, I make a lot
of money in the aggregate altogether because I've been doing
it so long, But like selling handbags on the first year,
you're gonna make zero dollars a couple hundred dollars, Like,
if you're not gonna make a money and then you're
gonna hit a pandemic, or you're gonna hit inflation, you're
gonna hit possibly a recession, then what are you going
(40:10):
to do? Exactly? It's not what I'm trying to convey
is that everybody thinks because housewives are wearing things with
jeez from head to toe and fendy and driving nice
cars that are least and in many cases borrowed. Because
I've seen that too. It's it's all show and no go.
There's very little meat there with these these people, which
is why there's so much scandal, because people who are
(40:31):
drawn to be on these shows, most people who have
a lot of money wouldn't be on the show. I
was on the show and I had nothing, and I
left when I had something like because it's very hard
to justify exposing yourself to this when you don't need to.
What was interesting, Bethany as I learned it twice, I
(40:51):
was gonna be on Larry King, and that's when what's
his name took over for Larry I can't remember his
name from Paris, huh and for some reason on that show.
When I was going there, I normally would wear a
gold Cart watch and then my airings that I haven't
changed in over thirty years, same pendant, right, if you
(41:14):
look at any book cover anything, same thing here. But
I used to have a fetish for watches. Don't ask
me why I was stupid. No, it's not stupid, by
the way, because their investments if you do it well,
which I have. But it's not the best thing to
invest in. Fine, it really isn't. But anyway, so I
had really liked a watch, I think Michael Cours that
(41:36):
was two hundred dollars. So I bought it and I
wore it that night to be on the show, and
Paris somehow started off this thing about how rich I was,
and like, like, how much is the watch you have
on for instance, Susie Right, And I was able to say,
I'm two hundred dollars, why Piers right, because what does
(41:58):
that mean? It was? It was it was like he
wanted to catch me with my thirty dollar watch on.
It was very interesting. And one last thing I was
had on the Susie Orman show Carson cress Leef, and
he came on and I had on a seven hundred
(42:18):
dollar T shirt, uh one dollar blue jeans jacket. Everything
else I had on was very expensive. And the test
was Carson, what is the most expensive item that I have?
And he chose the hundred dollar jacket. He did not
(42:41):
choose the designer thing, and I just I went on
and got those things just for this show, right, And
that's when I learned you make a statement just by
who you are, no matter what you wear. People think
it's expensive, well no, but even money, yes, But back
(43:03):
to relationships with money, I believe, strongly believe. I'm certain
that people who need to go to the window and
buy the most expensive thing, the whole outfit together with
which last creativity, but who need the logos like I
have high end stuff, a lot of it, but like
who need the logos, who need everybody to know what
it is and who makes it, they're insecure. It's very insomuch.
(43:26):
You think the jacket was on right now, it's hard
to see it, but uh to something to fifty maybe
five dollars. I got it at the HS and discount store.
That's amazing. Well, I was a man. I bought seven
of them and it's my favorite jacket I wear all
the time. I spent bucks for seven jackets. You also
(43:48):
like that's part of like that's a deal making type
of person. My friend her owns the Mets. She has
more money than anybody that I know, and she likes
the hunt. She said to me that she pitched the
person from seeing is that she would wear for a year.
You know, a billionaire, she would wear for a year
Sears clothes and no one would think so because people
will walk up to her all the time that who
(44:09):
makes that. She's like for the nothing Bethany jeans like
forty dollars because she's rich and she doesn't need to
show it. And you find that and we see that
here people who really need to show their money are
lacking somewhere else, and they probably don't really have a
lot of money. It's really if you have to show
it so desperately with logos to make you feel secure,
(44:31):
then you probably don't really have it. I don't think
I have one item that has a logo on it,
not one that's fascinating. I am sure that I have
not a ton, but I'm sure that I do, but
not a time. I would never want to show that
to people I like that. Yeah, well you are walking
the walk literally and talking to talk literally and you
(44:51):
help a lot of people. And I think this was
so amazing. Well, first of all, let me ask you
one question before we finished, But I want to ask
you what you are Rose? And your thorn was of
the episode? The sweet part, believe it or not, for me,
was was the little girl sitting on the bed talking
(45:13):
to mommy and owning her power. I loved that because
I saw potential. I saw potential there. The true thorn
was the very first thing that I heard she say,
people are intimidated by my success. I was like, got it, Yeah,
(45:33):
what is that about? Nobody's intimidated by your success? Girl?
What what is wrong with you? That was started me
right then and there. That's amazing. That started me all
the way down the road. And who you're the most
like Candy of all the housewives? Right? I don't even
have to ask that. Yeah, if you were going to
(45:56):
compare me to that any of that? Right? And who's
the most cent attaining as a as a character? Boy?
Sure is pretty um whatever there I have to tell you,
they're all really entertaining. You know my moment the board
one is it? Kim the Blonde. Is that Kim or
who's Kim? Kim board me totally? She was Nothing she
(46:21):
did was entertaining. I felt like it was acting. I
felt it was pretentious. I felt like you have nothing
to teach people here on any level. It's like from
so You're like, there's a value there because we learned
from some of the stuff you're saying. You know you're not.
You don't learn anything to or not to do from Kim.
(46:43):
You just felt like it was an eye roll. Uh wow,
Susie Orman. I literally had no idea because you had
never watched and that wasn't relevant to me because I
wanted to have a fresh conversation. But with your expertise,
I'm just I can't wait to talk to my producers
because you walked into the right room about the right
topic and you're so good at this. Thank you so
(47:03):
much for listening to rewives today. I mentioned it all
and now it's your turn. Please take a minute to rate,
review and subscribe and follow the show's instagram at Rewives
with Bethany. Is there an episode you want to hear
me talk about? Comment on any Rewives with Bethany Instagram posts,
and our producers will add your selects to our list.
See you next time.
M Today, we're going to Atlanta for one of my
favorite Housewives ever, Shari's defining moments In this Housewives episode,
Say throws herself an independence party, obviously to celebrate her divorce,
and gets into an absurdly ridiculous fight with her party planner.
(00:23):
This is the who Gonna check me? Boo get with
Pookie and them. Sharay is at her finest best in
this episode. This episode uncovers crazy spending, business flops, and
struggles for financial independence. So there is no better person
to join me on today's episode than money experts Susie Orman.
This is a ride, an adventure, and a lesson in finances.
(00:48):
This is a Housewives episode you don't have to feel
guilty about talking about. You'll enjoy yourself and get amazing
financial takeaway advice. Do you watch The Housewife overall? Are
you aware of who anybody is or you? This is
(01:09):
just the very first episode I watched was this one?
So do you have any idea who I am as
a person? I know all about you, your charity, your
TV show. I know everything about you. I watched you
when you're on Shark Tank. But about you as the
the Housewife, I don't know, I know your successes and
(01:33):
what you're proud of, not that you're not proud of
you and your work that you did with you that
those are the stuff that I love about you. Thank you.
I love that. I appreciate that. So it doesn't matter
that you've never watched The Housewife because I hadn't seen
these Atlanta episodes, which are vintage for a long time,
(01:55):
and I've recently been watching New York episodes around the
same time, and it's yard because the Atlanta episode don't
um age as well. I don't know if it's the
it's the production of them. They seem more dated than
the New York ones, and I don't know why, but
they see like you really can see the difference, and
obviously the technology that that's no one's fault. I just
(02:18):
think that the show seems so dated and when I
watch it and it's it's really surprising. I mean, what
did you think about just the way that the show
overall looks like the tech, the lack of hair, makeup,
like that sort of thing, because the shows now have
a glimmer that is very different than what this was. Well,
given that this was the very first housewife of any
(02:42):
rendition that I ever saw, and it actually got me
curious wanting to watch what happened to these women because
it was like I cared about them. I'm like, no,
this is just stupid. You are making the worst financial
moves I've ever seen, Like, because you always want to
root for somebody, you want them to be okay. You
(03:03):
don't want them just to be dumb right here that
you want to say no, if you do this, then
you can be more. You can really have more and
not hide behind all this stupid glamour that they think
it's glamor well, by the way, but that's the entire Housewives.
Like you should literally be a Housewives consultant because when
(03:23):
I explained to you that I know the money that
the people actually have and they roll way deeper than
I do. For those of you listening, we're talking about
the who Gonna Check Me Boo episode with say I'm
talking to Susie Orman has never ever watched The Housewives.
This particular franchise, UH section meaning Atlanta is the highest rated,
(03:47):
has always been maybe Beverly Hills as eclipse them, but
they've always been very high rated and they roll very
deep in the Bentley's and the rolls, rooices and the
houses which Susie are more in the suburbs are not
in Atlanta proper, so they are not expensive. Meaning there's
an eighteen thousand serfort house there that could be one
point something million dollars, where in New York City you
could have a two thousand servant department be ten million dollars.
(04:09):
So that's a lot of the all show and no
go of this the way this show looks. But we're
getting into Sharai. So when Susie says she was a
little bit of a mess, we're talking about Scherai moving
into her new house and a state of her divorce,
the foreclosure, the custody. Let's hear what you have to
say about all that, Suzi. Oh my god, where do
I start? So the first thing when you're introduced to Sharai,
(04:32):
she says this thing that people are intimidated by my success.
That's like her tagline. You're being introduced to all the women,
and I'm sitting there thinking, what success? Right? What success?
What are you talking about? Our people intimidated by your success?
(04:53):
Or are you Charai intimidated by your lack of success? Oh? Susie,
you have no idea. You're walking into something that's also
current now over a decade later, because right now, say,
I guess there's a line of clothing, but they found
out that it's actually stuff that she buys from sheen
some Asian company, or it looks exactly like she puts
(05:14):
her own label on. So it's still going on ten
years later about this fashion line that never sort of
showed up, and it's still going on right now. So
you're talking about something ten years ago that's current now,
So go ahead, keep going. Well, the thing is, and
the reason it's going to stay current is because they
think money is what shows independence. Money does this, and
(05:36):
you know, and I know that money is not the
bottom line of what makes somebody successful. You're not even
talking about money. It's even worse, Susie, because it's not money.
It's a car isn't money. A car could be leased
and you don't own it, and it's just shows. So
it's not money. I would never say somebody's intimidated by
my success, right because you probably wouldn't drive a five
(06:00):
undred dollar rose where sub either. No, because I still
have a car that's eleven years old. But you have money,
so so I'm just because you said money, so you
me and the material. I'd rather have money invested and
in the bank and growing for me than in a
depreciated asset. I am no desire to impress the person
(06:21):
next to me at a stop sign that I don't
even know right but to do that. But on broad
this is the land where Jersey Housewives Teresa paid for
all her furniture over a hundred thousand dollars in cash
in the beginning, and then she and her husband went
to jail for tax evasion a couple of years later.
So you're walking into a situation where I was cast
on the show in a studio apartment from furnished by
(06:43):
a Kia only because of my personality. I would never
be cast now because they will only cast people that
seem to have an aspirational, wealthy lifestyle. So it's a
circular reference and people have to keep showing, and a
lot of times it's all show no go foreclosures by grupcies,
you know, law cases where it's fraudulent. So this is
(07:04):
where you're walking in. So now, all right, so I'm
walking in. That's the first thing I noticed. Then the
next thing she says, I All I want out of
this divorce is seven figures. And I'm sitting there thinking
seven figures isn't gonna get you anything, Like why is
that the only thing number one that you want is
(07:25):
seven figures? And why is it that? What I would
want out of a divorce, Not that I know about that,
because I'm happily married. But what I would want out
of a divorce is my own independence, my own knowing
that I can do anything on my own that somebody
else doesn't need to hold me up. Money doesn't need
(07:47):
to hold me up. I can hold up the entire world.
That's what I would want out of a divorce. But
all Charai wants is seven figures. And what's so sad
in the end. I don't know she ever got it
or not. But this Bob person who she was married to,
he doesn't have a pot to pean, right, So you
can't just think, you can't just wish a wizard unicorn
(08:08):
is going to bring seven figures in. And you're right,
um in the sense like it's a Tina Turner thing.
She wanted her name, she wanted her independence. But even
in the land of intelligence, UM sure would want to
be free of debt to be free of this man.
He could pull her down to they're still married. When
you are married and getting divorced, you are liable for
part of whatever the hell they've got going on. So
(08:29):
you might just want Tina Turner style your goddamn name
and to have a clean slate. We can't wish for
unicorns to jump through the window if they're not coming
with this guy who has no money and is a deadbeat. Yeah,
so so that was it was obvious that he had
no money because who allows a house to go into
foreclosure with their own credit, with their own credit and
(08:53):
who is nineteen months behind on their child's support. So
what that says right there is that Sara can act
like she's a businesswoman, she can act like she knows
about money, But how do you act and pretend when
you don't even know that nobody is making the payments
(09:13):
on your home? Fact, nobody tell that's so true. How
are you a business person if your house goes into
foreclosure you can't. Then you're literally setting women back a
hundred fifty years saying that the man sees all the bills.
It's everything you talk about in your podcast. You have
to know your own ship, and you're saying, she's the
definition of a person who just like blindly listen to
(09:33):
a man about what was going on with the numbers.
Teresa blindly listen to a man and went to jail
for it, Like you know, we have to either we
can't play stupid and smart at the same time as
what you're saying, Yeah, so it's it's that was sad
to me, right because the court ordered that he was
to pay the mortgage. But how many men in the world,
and how could she not know that? Could she not
(09:55):
have real life friends that obviously the partner had screwed
them and they lost their home and they lost things,
and at this age, real life would have said to her,
the court ordered it, but I better check up on it, right,
She never once opened up nothing. And how do you
(10:15):
go nineteen months and not get money that you're owed
and just go, oh, it's okay, you're right. And that
would be helping women. That would be being on the
show and actually helping women instead of talking about all
the money you're gonna get and pretending you're savvy and
being vulnerable and telling the truth about your flaws. Then
you might be able to teach someone something because not
everyone knows that, but at least you would know what
(10:37):
you don't know, and then the audience. That's a good one. Okay.
Moving along to Kim, who had she's now married, has
multiple kids, which the psychic predicted she'd have more kids.
But she was in a relationship for all these beginning
episodes with a guy called Big Papa who was having
are only of dollars, who would do anything for her,
already did for her as he left her, right, he
(11:00):
left her, and but I think they might have shared
some real estate together. I don't know. She's another one
who likes to show this stuff in the suburbs of Atlanta.
So did you notice how many powers she had? She
drove in that one episode she had her big Bentley
convertable that she drove, and then she had when she
(11:23):
drove up to a party, she had a big white suv.
It was a Rench rovers right. And so here's one
woman already with two cars that total over four hundred
thousand dollars between the two of them. So the the
illusion of wealth there is nothing more than illusion, right.
(11:47):
She can't even she says she wants to open up
a wig business, but she doesn't need the patients to
sit through one class that maybe she could learn about
how do you open? How do you do that? How
do you do you do right? So she was a
she was a loser from the second I saw her.
So we're seeing you're seeing a theme here of like
(12:08):
it's more important to to show other people that you
have I think it's a big problem with unhappiness in
the country. It's more important to show other people how
great your life is than for you to focus on
your life actually being great. That's a big thing, and
that's a big thing in The Housewives. It is all
show and no go in many cases at all, crumbling
down from many people. And even the decision and I'm
(12:30):
sorry I don't remember her name. The woman who was
married to the football place that Oakland Raiders and and
he got dismissed was let oh. And so here he is.
He doesn't have a job, they have one kid, and
now they're talking about having to when he doesn't have income.
It's like, who knows what's going to happen to him?
(12:52):
You could tell she doesn't really want to in this
one episode, well, I'm not sure my hands are full
with the kid. We are pready have, but yet she's
already been submissive and really giving up her power. I
have to tell you, Bethany, this episode was a lot
about financial abuse and how the women allowed themselves to
(13:16):
be in a situation where they were and maybe still are,
being financially abused. Obviously, Serai was abused by Bob. Don't
tell me that the only time that she saw that
he was irresponsible with money was after they got divorced.
And the idea of a rich man having having their
(13:36):
their side piece that can't mention who the rich man
is and he's supporting her and giving her that's financially
abusive too, is what you're saying. That's like toxic, right,
And so you can see that kind of through the
whole thing, that financial abuse is present. And what's fascinating
about Gerai is with this stupid independence party or that
(13:59):
she wants to show everybody she gets involved with another
abusive man. Anthony, your take is epic because no one's
ever said this before, and it's so obvious and it's
so perfect for you to be commenting, and not only
on this episode, but on this whole franchise and this
concept in this country about showing how much we have
(14:22):
and not even and doing so much talking and showing
without being educated at all. I mean, the other day
I called my business manager and I said, because I
know I've been making a decent amount of money on
certain things, but I also know I've been spending a
decent money on amount of money on certain things. And
I also know I'm not great at knowing every single detail.
So I know what I don't know um and I
(14:42):
will ask other people around me if there's something that
I don't know and and crowdsource then make my own decision.
But I called him not but I said, I know
you represent a lot of different clients, and based on
where I am, how am I spending like because I
remember when I first sold my business asking a business
manager if I could go buy a full price of
Lubaton back in Dallas. He's like, you just sold your Yes,
(15:03):
you can buy the bag. But I'm frugal in that way,
like I, So I said, he said, well, I have
people that make a lot of money that are very
cheap and spend nothing, and then I know people that
go crazy and spend way over there or over their skis,
and you're right in the middle. I said, that's fine,
as long as you know your own temperature of what
you want to be doing. Like I know what I have,
and I know what's with an s steg Is, and
(15:25):
and then I know that he's saying, I'm in the middle.
I'm not. I'm not getting an A, but I'm not
getting an F. I'm getting a C in spending versus
what you make. And I at this one time in
my life, maybe okay with that. But you have to
know the temperature, I think is what you're saying. No
one even knows what the hell is going on behind
the scenes. It's not only the temperature of money, it's
the temperature of who you are and why you are
(15:48):
making the decisions you're making, you know. On the Women
in Money podcast, I focus more on the emotional side
of money than money it'sself. By the way, that's what
I money noise, the relationship to money, That's what I'm
talking about. The relationship you have with money. Money noise.
But the relationship you have with money is identical to
(16:09):
the relationship you have with yourself because money can't do
anything without you. So if you don't value who you are,
you will see money come in, go out. And it
will never stay. That's why I have this saying that
self worth equals net worth. Once you start making money
and you have money, if you don't have self worth
(16:32):
at that point, you will define yourself by the money
you're making versus you defining your money. I understand you're saying,
it's the dog the tailwagon. The dog you need to
be driving the program. You need to be in the
driver's scene, and the money is the passenger. I like it, okay, So, um,
I like it a lot. So say, in keeping with
(16:54):
this theme, and by the way, this particular episode focuses
on sure a lot. Another one might focus on someone else.
So we're talking a lot about Shurey who why do
happen to enjoy as a television character? Um? So, she's
doing this part and she believes her own myth, and
it's always bigger than the top. And she built this
house it never got bill called Chateau Chay, or maybe
it eventually got built, but it took years. And there's
(17:14):
always this outlandish stuff. So Queen of the Night, she's
going to do a Queen of the Night party and
arrived by helicopter and be carried in by male models.
So so so, well, what do you think? Here's the
big reveal. There. She goes to this designer party planner
(17:34):
by the name of Anthony Right, and Anthony, like any
buddy who wants a client, smoothes her, brings her in,
gets her to sign up with him and another woman
and they're on TV and the and the company's on
TV at this time, meaning the company is good, make
wants to look good on t V. Got it right?
(17:55):
Then it turns out what Anthony wants to do is
not what to wants to do, and they get into
this huge fight. What that represents is Shara went from
one abusive relationship with Bob in the desire to throw
an independence party and led her directly to another abusive
(18:20):
relationship with Anthony, who wanted to control everything, and she
totally once again the mistakes she made with Bob repeated
with Anthony, and now he's screaming at her they have
to take him away. I don't know if she ever
got her party or not, but the mere fact that
(18:42):
that happened should show everybody watching how truly powerless Sharay is.
Because she needs to ask her hair dresser while she's
getting her hair done, what should I do. And it's
the hairdresser that says, you have to call him up
and show him that your boss. You have to show
(19:03):
him that you're running the party. She needed her hairdresser
to encourage her to do that. What kind of dying? Amazing? Like,
you're right, you're saying, she's saying, she's a successful business woman,
she's in charge, and now she's got her hairdresser telling
her what to do with her abusive event planner. Do
(19:25):
you think the event planner was entirely wrong? And how
would you handle it if you were shredded? First of all,
I would have wanted to know what it was gonna cost.
They never once talked about what this party was going
to cost. I still don't understand where her money came
to buy the house or move into the house that
she moved into, and she's there in boxes and the
(19:49):
kids up moving everything. She didn't have professional movers do that,
number one, or she wouldn't have been moving. But but
I want to just skip back for one thing. She
said something that was key to every thing in this
one scene when she was in her house, she didn't
want her children to know what was going on. And
(20:09):
what's interesting about that she didn't want to tell them
that they didn't really have money, and that that that
that she didn't want them to know. For everybody watching
this and watching a program like that, if you think
your kids do not already know, I have a bridge
to sell you. Your kids know exactly every time you
(20:31):
fought with your husband. They know everything that's going on.
And you're allowing them and teaching them rather than teaching
them strength and independence, you are teaching them lies. You
are teaching them how to not stand in their truth. You, Charay,
are doing more damage to those kids by pretending to
(20:52):
be something you're not versus being honest with them and
showing what you can all be as a family. So amazing,
that's so true. There's a way to do it. They
were old enough. But there's a time when my daughter
realized things were going on in my life and there
was a time and a way to discuss it. And
(21:12):
I see so many parents nothing in front of the kids,
and nothing in front of the kids, like that's not
necessarily great parenting. You know, if you at least know
what's going on, you can deal with it and you
can have a team to work on. It's it's so
funny because with custody things and with divorce things, there's
a way to speak to young children. But I had
to discuss certain things as my daughter in a very
realistic manner, and it was helpful. It was more evolved
(21:36):
because they're watching part of a picture and they're confused
because they only have a couple of the puzzle pieces.
So they're making up their own stories in their mind,
and they're expressing themselves in different ways at school. And
I think that that's really astute of you to say that,
and notice that I like that. That's very interesting. Only
you could make this an intelligent episode. Um so really,
(21:57):
only you could. So do you have you heard of
Nani in the world besides this episode? Needy Leak, she's
a character. She was sort of the breakout character of
this show. She's not in this episode that much. In
this is earlier on in the year. She's the one
(22:18):
who's the singer. She's no, that's Candy, Oh that's Candy.
Nini is the one. She's like Candy a lot. Well,
Candies is smart, but yes, we're gonna get into Candy.
But Nini was making like the sexual references with the
thousand dollars on the curtains and the champagne bottle, and
and Dwight comes over, and the one that where she
(22:40):
had the designer come over and they opened a champagne. Yes,
that was Nanie with the stylist right saying that you
spent fifteen thou dollars on drapes and now they need
to be longer. Yeah, that girl needs some style. That
girl needs some classes, because that's she's class. No, but
(23:01):
over the course of years, I don't know if she
got class by your definition, but she became more into
fashion and style and she changed her look a lot
over the years. Some of the house was get excited
that they're very successful and they call themselves rich. But
me and he was the first one to start with
like I'm rich, bitch on this show. And it's again,
you know, it's about how much money you Actually, I
(23:23):
can't see any wealth there with her. And it's even
to notice that that curtains should be fifteen inches longer
or whatever. It's like all I got from her in
the very brief because I paid more attention to Shara. Yeah,
you're right today, Yeah, it was that really, it just
(23:43):
there wasn't There was no there there and what I say, class.
What I mean is again, it's not how your place
is decorated. It's not even what you decorate your place with.
It's how you you make people feel when they're in
your place, so you can have a little It's so
(24:04):
she was like and just so caught up in everything.
She kind of bored me, so I just fast forward
it through her. Okay, fine, So back to Sheay's meeting though,
when she said, who go and check me boo? And
do you ever get lit and you want to let go?
I mean because I do sometimes once in a while
somebody needs to get slept. So in that case, I don't.
I mean, you said he had to be taken out.
(24:25):
I think she did. She not win that round? Did she?
Who won that round? To that fight with him? I
think she went all in. I have to tell you,
I think she lost the round. You do and let
me hear why? Because I thought, who gonna check me boo?
Is a great line? Yeah? So those are great line
make great television. Yes, but let's not say nobody's watching
(24:45):
it and it's just the two of them and nobody
ever sees that, okay happen. Let's do it all right now,
here she is paying good money to have her dream
in four or five days come true, and she hasn't
talked to the poet, has no idea if that's going
to happen or not. She's not going to get a helicopter.
(25:06):
And she what she really wanted by giving this party
more than all the flamboyants, believe it or not, is
she wanted to feel that she could do something and
she was in control because she has been out of
control dependent until this one party. And even though she
kept saying that this party is for everybody else to
(25:29):
see that you can survive after divorce and you can
do all of these things, this party was for her
right to show her that she could actually pull something
off that she was proud of. That makes me You
don't even know how the foreshadowing is though, because it
happens again later where she has a fashion show and
there are no fashions. It's called she by Say, but
(25:50):
she doesn't have the she by Say fashion. So it's
funny that Say is an interesting character because you are
presenting something that seems to become a theme for her
in like she wants to show that she can. Sonia
Sonya on New York As moments like this too. She
wants to show everybody that she can do it. And
we're all waiting and you're saying that it's not going
(26:11):
that great, so sorry, back to the meeting with them
and that. But but Bethany, who she really wants to
show is herself because when all the cameras are off
and everything and she's just by herself, she's broke. She's
living the lie to her kids. She's so angry at
her ex spouse because he had no money, didn't live
(26:33):
up to it, she had a move, she doesn't know
how she's gonna pay bills, and except for the fact
that she gets a paycheck from Housewives, other than that,
it's like, how is she going to do anything? And
if ever she's not on Housewives, she's screwed. Well, by
the way. That's by the way, let me tell you
about a circular reference. That's a big thing that happens
with Housewives. So people get that happened with Alex and Simon.
(26:55):
People get cast and the first season I made seven
thousand two and all for the whole season. But it
was something I took out in the contract. That's attribute.
That's the reason for my great success because I knew
what to cross out and get paid seven thousand to fifty.
But what happens is people this is it. They're gonna
be famous, and so they are going to spend and
the show is going to catch up with it, and
(27:18):
they're gonna have these storylines in these businesses because they
need to have something to show the show to stay
on so the salary can keep up. And you see
this vicious cycle, and it's not that easy for people
like you know, Theresa goes through this whole thing, going
away to jail and stuff, and now she has a
wealthy or a man who seems to be wealthy as
a husband, but she stayed on that show to hustle
(27:40):
for her kids because she went to jail and lost
all this income and her ex husband was a Doug divorce.
So it happens a lot of people that Erica Jane
the richest. How she looks so rich, her husband's a
big lawyer. All that gets in all that trouble. She's
got to stay on the show now to keep the
music going. So it becomes this vicious cycle, particularly with
how was I get on. I don't really have a
(28:01):
lot of money. I have to show that I have money.
But then I'm spending too much money to show that
I have money, so to show us to pay me
to keep up with the money that I'm sure do
you see, It's like it's like getting into debt. It's
housewives debt. It's housewives debt. So going back to who
won the argument, she lost the mission of the party.
She failed dramatically there. And it doesn't matter how tough
(28:26):
you talk, and do you win in a fight and
you know, lash out with each other. I mean, one
of the strongest things she's could have done is got up,
walked out, canceled the party and say screw you, sue
me for the check. Nice That that's power, that power,
(28:47):
and sending out a notice to everybody that Anthony is
the worst planning you know, party planner. He screwed this up.
You right him, but don't ever use him because I'm
out of here, right, that's right, Just saying that what
you just said is powerful. It's so true. Um, do
you believe in psychics because Kim goes to the psychic
and I want to know if you believe in psychics
(29:09):
or do you think it's a waste of money? Totally.
I believe in psychics, I believe in astrologers. I believe
in all of that. I love that. And by the way,
that guy correct that that woman predicted her and she
did have she did have more children, and she did
have and what she says she will have a boy,
(29:29):
Yeah she does. The audience at that time doesn't know that.
But now in real life of watching years later, that
that that psychic Rose told her her future. She left
Big Papa. But did she because Rose told her that
somehow planned for that to happen, not that it would
be a boy, but it might be a child. So
(29:51):
she was looking to have that happen because she had
so many kids. She was gonna have a boy. She
had four more kids since then or something great. So
it was like, was that whatever or not? But I
don't think it hurts it all. You have a belief
in somebody that has proven to you that they're a
great psychic, they're a great astrologer. You know, not everyone is.
(30:15):
Not everyone is a great money person. So you have
to know are they great at what they do? And
if they are, I use all the help I can
get in predicting the markets and whatever. You know, it
was about it. It was before It was December of
two thousand and nineteen, and I have been seeing astrologers
(30:39):
and things like that, and it all the stars came
up that in February of two thousand and twenty something
was going to happen that would change this world forever.
And I started to talk about it on the Women
in Money podcast and I started to warn everybody, I
don't know what's going to happen. I just have this feeling.
Be careful for February of two thousand and twenty, which
(31:02):
is when the pandemic hit and the markets went all
the way down again. Using all my resources that I do.
They end when oil was down thirty dollars a barrel,
you had to pay people to take oil away. It
was like get into oil. Now's the time. And I
(31:23):
go on the podcast and I say, this may be
the stupidest thing I've ever said. I want all of
you to buy this specific exchange traded fund that's all
energy and oil went from twenty two up to almost ninety.
That's insane. Everybody get back in the market. Do not
sell here. This is a blip, right, Just stay And
(31:45):
everybody made a whole lot of money. So I use
everything I can, from technical to to you name it.
I take all the tools and I put them together
to tell the millions of people what I think they
should do. That's unbelievable, um, but believable. So Candy, you like?
(32:16):
Candy is talking about doing, um, a version of the
Vagina Monologues, an updated version. She's talking with Lisa, who
later gets let go from the show. Just so you know,
Candy has been on and still is on now, and
she's a successful musician who is frugal. And I think
she mentions that she doesn't need to show all the
bells and whistle. She has nice things, but she's probably
more you know in my philosophy where she buys. But
(32:38):
she knows she's she's good. So you liked Candy? Why
did you like her? Because there were certain things that
she said, which was she was going to she wanted
to do it herself. She wanted to do this album herself.
She knew she had talent, she knew she made other people,
that she wrote music for a lot of my need
(33:00):
so she knew she was the real deal. And there
was something about her look that I liked her look.
I liked the simple haircut. I liked the even though
it was fashionable. I liked her clothes. I liked that
she was gonna go for it, but because she was
(33:21):
going to go for it, not because some beau or
Bob or whatever big Daddy was going to support her,
whether that ended up happening or not. I liked her
sense of independence and her sense of self worth. And
so even though she was in a relationship and was
talking about moving in with her daughter, you felt like
(33:41):
she had a strong sense of You feel like she
has a strong sense of self. She was the one
who had one daughter and was going to possibly marry
somebody with six kids? Was that right? Is that? Who
is right? And her mother did not like that. Her
mother's tough and has judged a lot of the people
she's been with, including the and she married and that woman.
(34:02):
The man that she was engaged to gets killed, Like
you can't believe this is real. Yes, he gets killed.
It they're gonna park a lot. So she lost her fiance.
And so then does she have to mother all six kids? No,
she just has She has her daughter, and she ends
up in a relationship with so much that she meets
as a producer on the show, and then he becomes
talent on the show because now he's with her. Like,
(34:24):
sometimes the truth is weirder than the fix. I mean
this stuff that I'm talking to you about it watching
back is crazy to watch Candy telling her daughter about
this man that they're going to blend with and that
that man don't isn't but her daughter didn't want to blend.
The other thing I liked about Candy was the relationship,
at least on this one episode she had with her daughter,
(34:45):
talking not to her daughter so to speak, but to
have an equal relationship. And her daughter felt the ability
to be honest with her mother that she did not
like this, She was not happy about it. So why
that made me like Candy is that that says to me,
that's a mother who raised a daughter. And she was
(35:09):
so fascinating when she said, my mother was a single mother,
my grandmother was a single mother, my dad DA and
now I was a single mother, right, isn't I think
that was her who said that, And she raised her
daughter and you could tell her daughter was strong, yes,
And did her daughter get that strength from she got
(35:30):
that strength from her mother at that age. And that
made me like her. I didn't like, however, when her
daughter was more interested and possibly watching TV in that
one little segment that she finally said, fine, watched TV
and leave when you could tell her daughter still wanted
to talk more to her about this, but Candy couldn't
(35:50):
deal with what her daughter was saying to her. Probably,
and then you're also where the cameras are there, so
you have always think about the fact that whatever her
daughters saying, this is also early on in years that
nobody knows how stuff is coming out of the oven
and how you're gonna be portrayed, and the daughters are
uncomfortable in his cameras in her house. So it's just
it's different, and it's funny. The shows back then had
a greater authenticity because people didn't have full hair and
(36:13):
makeup and glam squads, and they just wore with their
what you and I were wearing right now, like you're
you know, just just just s wear, like normal clothes.
Now it's costumes and like crowns, and it's it's clown like.
It's crazy people because it's meta and everyone's sort of
showing off because they know they're on television. Back then,
there were just some cameras and you were wearing a
sweater out of your closet because it was real. Back then,
(36:35):
you were doing real. So that's one of the things
that's different too. There was like a there's an authenticity
to it that that I don't see as much anymore.
People do miss that. Um and Candy. This is also
vintage housewives, and Candy is talking about she doesn't buy
jewelry and flashy items and she's focused on investing in
real estate. Don't forget, this is like in her thirties.
(36:57):
This isn't when everybody's like now in their fifties. This
is in her thirties, and she's already had a music
career and had albums go I Guess, gold and platinum
and made money. And she's talking about investing in real estate.
So I knew you would like that. I did like that,
and I like that. She looked at her wall and
she had all her platinum albums and everything up there,
and she liked that, and that was a representation of
(37:20):
what she did. She displayed what she did. That's a
sense of self worth. So later at the party, when
meaning you're not that interested in and Shari have a discussion,
Charai doesn't Shari say she did get a seven figure settlement.
Didn't she say that that did actually happen? Or no,
(37:41):
she said, she's asked the question did you get us?
Did you get your seven figures? And Shari says, the
judge awarded me it, but it's not in my bank
account yet. Oh it's like saying child So he also
didn't pay nineteen months told whatever you said a child support? Oh?
So yes. And by the way, people need to realize
(38:02):
that just getting to court can take so long, and
getting a judge to do something is very different than
getting a judge to enforce something, because that's then the law.
The judge is not a cop. It's the legal system
is so challenging. So even if she was quote unquote awarded,
it's fiction until it gets into the bank account. And
did she ever get it? That's what I bet you
(38:22):
she didn't. But that's a great question that will come up.
I will ask any money, No way she got any money. Um,
So it's funny. I don't know if kim zols Yek
still has a wig business, but it's interesting that she
wasn't interested in learning about the craft that it takes
to do that, to do to launch a wig business.
(38:45):
She didn't seem in. She wasn't interested in anything other
than somebody making her comfortable, rich and providing for her
very interesting. She would say she was interested in. Yeah,
she might say that she's in instead of making her
own money, and she has had shows and stuff. But
as you know, just explain to everybody. You know what
(39:06):
people make on TV, and it's not like what people
make on Finance or Wall Street. And you know what
it costs to live all these lives as people are living,
and you know what businesses are really making for the
people listening. Just because you're selling some handbags or selling
some wigs or selling some leggings, you have no idea
how much work it takes to actually make any kind
(39:27):
of real money. For all of that, I sell everything,
I sell dressing, I sell apparel, I sell popcorn and
so many different things. It takes a long time to
really see real checks. And they're not like game changing,
life changing wrote range over SUV checks like they're not
(39:47):
over the course of years. Yes, I make a lot
of money in the aggregate altogether because I've been doing
it so long, But like selling handbags on the first year,
you're gonna make zero dollars a couple hundred dollars, Like,
if you're not gonna make a money and then you're
gonna hit a pandemic, or you're gonna hit inflation, you're
gonna hit possibly a recession, then what are you going
(40:10):
to do? Exactly? It's not what I'm trying to convey
is that everybody thinks because housewives are wearing things with
jeez from head to toe and fendy and driving nice
cars that are least and in many cases borrowed. Because
I've seen that too. It's it's all show and no go.
There's very little meat there with these these people, which
is why there's so much scandal, because people who are
(40:31):
drawn to be on these shows, most people who have
a lot of money wouldn't be on the show. I
was on the show and I had nothing, and I
left when I had something like because it's very hard
to justify exposing yourself to this when you don't need to.
What was interesting, Bethany as I learned it twice, I
(40:51):
was gonna be on Larry King, and that's when what's
his name took over for Larry I can't remember his
name from Paris, huh and for some reason on that show.
When I was going there, I normally would wear a
gold Cart watch and then my airings that I haven't
changed in over thirty years, same pendant, right, if you
(41:14):
look at any book cover anything, same thing here. But
I used to have a fetish for watches. Don't ask
me why I was stupid. No, it's not stupid, by
the way, because their investments if you do it well,
which I have. But it's not the best thing to
invest in. Fine, it really isn't. But anyway, so I
had really liked a watch, I think Michael Cours that
(41:36):
was two hundred dollars. So I bought it and I
wore it that night to be on the show, and
Paris somehow started off this thing about how rich I was,
and like, like, how much is the watch you have
on for instance, Susie Right, And I was able to say,
I'm two hundred dollars, why Piers right, because what does
(41:58):
that mean? It was? It was it was like he
wanted to catch me with my thirty dollar watch on.
It was very interesting. And one last thing I was
had on the Susie Orman show Carson cress Leef, and
he came on and I had on a seven hundred
(42:18):
dollar T shirt, uh one dollar blue jeans jacket. Everything
else I had on was very expensive. And the test
was Carson, what is the most expensive item that I have?
And he chose the hundred dollar jacket. He did not
(42:41):
choose the designer thing, and I just I went on
and got those things just for this show, right, And
that's when I learned you make a statement just by
who you are, no matter what you wear. People think
it's expensive, well no, but even money, yes, But back
(43:03):
to relationships with money, I believe, strongly believe. I'm certain
that people who need to go to the window and
buy the most expensive thing, the whole outfit together with
which last creativity, but who need the logos like I
have high end stuff, a lot of it, but like
who need the logos, who need everybody to know what
it is and who makes it, they're insecure. It's very insomuch.
(43:26):
You think the jacket was on right now, it's hard
to see it, but uh to something to fifty maybe
five dollars. I got it at the HS and discount store.
That's amazing. Well, I was a man. I bought seven
of them and it's my favorite jacket I wear all
the time. I spent bucks for seven jackets. You also
(43:48):
like that's part of like that's a deal making type
of person. My friend her owns the Mets. She has
more money than anybody that I know, and she likes
the hunt. She said to me that she pitched the
person from seeing is that she would wear for a year.
You know, a billionaire, she would wear for a year
Sears clothes and no one would think so because people
will walk up to her all the time that who
(44:09):
makes that. She's like for the nothing Bethany jeans like
forty dollars because she's rich and she doesn't need to
show it. And you find that and we see that
here people who really need to show their money are
lacking somewhere else, and they probably don't really have a
lot of money. It's really if you have to show
it so desperately with logos to make you feel secure,
(44:31):
then you probably don't really have it. I don't think
I have one item that has a logo on it,
not one that's fascinating. I am sure that I have
not a ton, but I'm sure that I do, but
not a time. I would never want to show that
to people I like that. Yeah, well you are walking
the walk literally and talking to talk literally and you
(44:51):
help a lot of people. And I think this was
so amazing. Well, first of all, let me ask you
one question before we finished, But I want to ask
you what you are Rose? And your thorn was of
the episode? The sweet part, believe it or not, for me,
was was the little girl sitting on the bed talking
(45:13):
to mommy and owning her power. I loved that because
I saw potential. I saw potential there. The true thorn
was the very first thing that I heard she say,
people are intimidated by my success. I was like, got it, Yeah,
(45:33):
what is that about? Nobody's intimidated by your success? Girl?
What what is wrong with you? That was started me
right then and there. That's amazing. That started me all
the way down the road. And who you're the most
like Candy of all the housewives? Right? I don't even
have to ask that. Yeah, if you were going to
(45:56):
compare me to that any of that? Right? And who's
the most cent attaining as a as a character? Boy?
Sure is pretty um whatever there I have to tell you,
they're all really entertaining. You know my moment the board
one is it? Kim the Blonde. Is that Kim or
who's Kim? Kim board me totally? She was Nothing she
(46:21):
did was entertaining. I felt like it was acting. I
felt it was pretentious. I felt like you have nothing
to teach people here on any level. It's like from
so You're like, there's a value there because we learned
from some of the stuff you're saying. You know you're not.
You don't learn anything to or not to do from Kim.
(46:43):
You just felt like it was an eye roll. Uh wow,
Susie Orman. I literally had no idea because you had
never watched and that wasn't relevant to me because I
wanted to have a fresh conversation. But with your expertise,
I'm just I can't wait to talk to my producers
because you walked into the right room about the right
topic and you're so good at this. Thank you so
(47:03):
much for listening to rewives today. I mentioned it all
and now it's your turn. Please take a minute to rate,
review and subscribe and follow the show's instagram at Rewives
with Bethany. Is there an episode you want to hear
me talk about? Comment on any Rewives with Bethany Instagram posts,
and our producers will add your selects to our list.
See you next time.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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