May 25, 2025 • 34 mins
In this week's solo episode, I'm letting you into my mindset on different topics.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host, CHRISTOPHINEE.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hazel, and this is to Keep It Positive Sweetie Show.
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Keep It
Positive Sweetie Show, a safe space to heal, laugh, grow
and love.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I'm your host, CHRISTOPHINEE. Hazel, and today is another solo
episode because you guys love these. Today, I'm answering questions.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
It's fun.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
I even broke the fourth wall and included some of
my crews, so let's have a good time.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I hope you guys enjoyed this one.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
All right, guys, So I'm gonna do something different on
this episode. I'm gonna be answering a few questions that
will also bring you into my mindset and how I
think about things.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
The first one is de Lulu or.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Manifestation HM, the power of dreaming big. I can definitely
tend to be a little de Lulu. I remember like
growing up and my mom would always say, oh my goodness,
you are literally the biggest risk taker of the family.
And I think it got me to where I am
today because I see no bounds to how far I
(01:04):
can go. Some of the craziest things I did growing
up I remember when I was in Washington, DC working
on Capitol Hill, I drove from DC to New York
to audition for Diddy's assistant.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
It was crazy because I wanted to be a singer.
I wanted to be entertainer, and I was like, Okay,
what's the best way to.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Go about this.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I've always, even from back then, I've always been a
firm believer of putting yourself around what you want to
do so that you can learn from all aspects of
that space. And that was one of the craziest things
I did. I did clearly didn't get it.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
And then.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I remember another time when I was working on Capitol
Hill in DC that this was when then Senator Obama
was running for his first term in presidency and his
his I don't know if he's a legislative correspondent or
but he worked in Cender Obama's office at the time,
and he was like, hey, Crystal, he was like, center
(02:07):
Obama's running for president, and we have some paid positions
to come work on the campaign.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Would you want to come do it?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
And I'm like heck yeah, And he was like alright
that so I call my parents. I'm like, hey, guys,
I'm going to quit my job and I'm gonna go
work on the Obama campaign. And my parents were like,
you are crazy, and I was like, no, I really
think he's gonna win. My parents were like, I don't know,
you know, cause we had never seen it, you know,
(02:33):
and this is no slight to them, Like nobody ever
thought that we would have a black president, you know.
We were hopeful that we would have one, But at
that moment, they really weren't sure that it was smart
for me to quit my job to go work on
a campaign for someone who I could possibly not have
a job.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
After that moment needs to say I was right, they
were wrong. No, but he won.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
And after that they were like, you know what, We're
not gonna tell you what you can and cannot do.
Just go for it, because I could have been working
in the White House for the first black president, you know,
but that's neither here nor there. So yeah, I'm I
think I'm definitely Delulu when it comes to manifesting my dreams.
So I guess that has played a huge part in
my success today and literally since a kid, I don't
(03:23):
care if anybody likes it or doesn't like it, as
long as I set my mind to it, there's no
stopping me. So call me de Lulu or whatever you
wanna call me. But yeah, alright, So the next one
is how do I make everyday moments feel magical. I
feel like I try to make everything that I do
fun and enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I don't really do anything that I don't enjoy.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
You know, there are some things where like, uh, this
isn't the most fun thing, but I know it's good
for me, so I do it and then I end
up loving it. But things that I make enjoyable and
that I just really love. I love my daily roots.
I love my self care routines. You guys know, in
the mornings, I do my meditation, I pray, I read
(04:06):
my Bible, and I journal in my like the Flame
Within journal. That is very therapeutic for me, and it
really helps me kind of get centered in the day
and helps me fight off all the craziness that I'm
ready to face throughout the day, things that make me
feel like I'm in a movie.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So I just had a moment.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I was in New York Fashion Week and I, uh,
I was sitting next to Oh my god, it's such
a amazing moment. I was sitting next to j Manuel, who
if you've watched America's Next Top Model, he was one
of the guest judges that always made appearances on America's
Next Top Model.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So I have an just a great, great love for
j Manuel.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So I got to sit next him at the Romeo
Hunt show. And anybody who knows me knows that the
Devil Wars product is one of my favorite movies starring
Mail Street. And we're at the show and the show
was getting started late, and I had a very very
tight schedule that day where I had to be at
another show by five o'clock, so I was banking on
that show starting on time, and Jago's honey, he was like,
(05:14):
you need to leave now, and I was like, what
do you mean.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
He was like, you don't want to be late for
that show.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
He said, in the fashion world there's a fifteen minute
grace period. And he was like, by now and a
winter would be walking out, you should go. And I
swear in that moment, I was like, this is a
scene from a movie.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
It felt like a movie.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
There's so many points in my life that I feel
like feel kind of like a movie where I look
back and I'm like, that's.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
My life, that's really my life.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
So yeah, those are ways that I'm that I make
my life fun. And then also moments of my life
that kind.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Of felt like a movie. Let's see what we have next, ooh,
the glow up era.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
We need to find some pictures of me before now
I look crazy. Somebody found a like ill I probably
posted it, but it was a picture of me when
I was a kid.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
My teeth were all over the place and I never wear.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Bracest, so it was like, I guess as they grew
and they just grew in straight, but at that moment
is like one was growing in. It was really bad.
Even like through high school. I look back at my
senior picture, like how thin my eyebrows were. I'd be like,
oh my gosh, what were you thinking?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
But becoming my best self inside out? I think for
the longest I've pretty much been a very confident person.
But there was a phase in my life where I
kind of lost myself in my identity and trying to
find myself.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And I think where I am.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Now, I am so firm and who I am. I
love who I am inside out. I love the skin
I'm in. Of course, there's moments where I gained little
weight and y'all be m I'll be seeing y'all, y'all
be talking about is she pregnant, she didn't, she can't fat,
all these things. But there's times where I I am
(07:12):
hard on myself. You guys don't even have to say
those things because I am so hard on myself.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I see it.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
I'm like, all right, let me fix it. And there's
some things I have to do for work where they're like,
you do not lose any weight. We need to actually
gain some weight because you're pregnant or whatever the case
and being we need it to look real. But yeah,
that for the most part, I am very confident, but
there were times where I was like, ooh, girl, like
you gotta really pull it together. But I think things
(07:37):
that I've done to get to that point is honestly
just understanding that one year made in the image of God,
there is no one else like you. And I think
there was this moment in our culture in society where
everybody was just walk we all, everybody was looking the same,
like everybody had the body, and it was like there
was no uniqueness, and I would compare myself to all
(08:01):
these girls, you get on social media and everybody has
the perfect body. And it was a moment where I
was just like, Okay, maybe I need to do a
little something here.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
You under staying a little here.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
And I remember like not feeling my best self in
those moments. But once I got past that and realized,
you know what you are good, you know, like, do
your thing, do what works for you. And I don'tkno
nobody for what they do. Do you think it will
works for you? But as long as you feel good
about it. And once I got to that place, I
was good. But I had to stop comparing myself to
(08:32):
other people and put the phone down.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Child.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Confidence is contagious. How you walk into any room like
you own it. Okay, guys, let me tell you something.
I am a confident woman. But when I walk into rooms,
I'm not the girl that's like, Hi.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Hey, I'm Crystal, nice to meet you.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I am the girl that's in the corner, like, not networking,
not talking to people. So I had to take people
with me that don't mind doing that, you know. So
I don't know if I really walk into rooms like
I own it. You know, I do walk in and
if I'm spoken to I'm definitely going to speak with
you confidently and carrying a great conversation so that when
(09:18):
you leave it's like, Yo, that was a really dope conversation.
But as sorry as me walking in and just.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Kind of owning the room.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
No, Like, I feel like when you live your life
in the spotlight, you kind of tend to like sit
back in those scenarios.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
So I don't know if I really walk in and
own it.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
But.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, I'll be chilling. I really be chilling.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Uh. Let's see soft life versus the hustle life.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Mm, can you have both? Oh? My goodness. So it's
just tough for me because I I feel like.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You have to be very intentional about your soft life
if you are a woman or man, whoever it is,
that is about your hustling about your business. A lot
of times, I think we have misconstrued the fact that
being about our business we put aside our soft side,
because when you're about your business, you had to you
don't put on your masculine hat and be tough so
(10:23):
people don't run over you and things like that. But
I think for me, I'm finally finding the balance of
doing things that bring out that softer side. Because honey,
I lost it for a minute, Like I was, I
gotta do everything.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm hard, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
If man, I ain't got nobody to help me, so
let me just do it myself, like I was doing everything.
And I remember at one point in my life, I
just like broke down crime cause I'm like, dang, like
I don't have anybody to like help with anything. You
ever feel like that, Dria, Yes, like, And it was
something as simple as the garbage disposal. My garbage disposal
broke and I was like, do everything. I'm trying to
(11:01):
build a business. I was new to acting and trying
to bounce out that schedule and my whole life is changing,
and I'm like, I literally am doing all this by myself,
you know, like I didn't have another human body to
help me with it. And I think in that moment,
I was like the soft life started to kind of
like become more populix. I think a lot of women
(11:21):
who are entrepreneurs and successful started to realize, dang, I'm
doing this on my own, and I've kind of become hard.
I'm very hard.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I'm harder than hard, harder than hard.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Self like me, I want yes, But do you feel
like that's something that we as women have to really
kind of take control of even if we don't have
a man that can make our lives easier, because I
think a lot of times we like think that somebody
else has to come in and do that. Is that
something that we can like implement into our own lives
or do you think it's just easier when you have
somebody to kind of land though?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Well, I think I'm a little different from you because
where you are a single parent, you're forced.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
That's a different asset. Yeah, harder, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Doing things yourself and stuff like that, versus being single.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
That's being single.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
You could kind of do more of the soft life.
But as a parent and an entrepreneur and a working
momb and the go gotta do, it's kind of hard.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, I can see that kind of hard. I didn't
think of that from that perspective.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, because I don't have any kids, so I don't
really have anything.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Else your soft life.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
You're gonna get your cash.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You like, girl, what plates?
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Why are you gonna apply on dropping kids off at school?
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Right?
Speaker 4 (12:40):
But there is a balance that you you can do
when you have a lot of things going on I
fit in my plates, I feel in going to work out,
I fit in my facials, but then an hour later,
I'm back to.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
The hard life back.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Oh yeah, that's real. That's real.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
So I think for both of us really more about
finding that balance and kind of pending in that time
to like I gotta have myself timed. Yes, well, I
k think that kind of also ties into like burnout
because you know what I'm saying, When you don't take
the time to be intentional about the time and space
that you need as women, it like we end up
(13:18):
burning out.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Definitely burn out.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Mm yeah, so it tell me how I recharge or burnout?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Now listen, I will tell everybody out. I can't.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, Like, I'm very firm when it comes to my boundaries.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Of No, you've got to sit boundaries.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I have to, like even like now, like I already
told them, on a certain date when I'm getting ready
prepare to go back for sisters, don't call me for anything.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yep. Let you know, so we're do.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
I will work my tail to the bone up until
that point so you have everything you need for me
to take that month off because once that I'm focused
on that and it's so much already knew, you know how,
like you can see it in uh, in advance, like
it's too much, Like so, l I kN know by
this point, I'm gonna be done.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
So I think having those healthy boundaries of saying no
is like so important here, that's.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
What anybody, friends.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, clients, all of that. Do you have trouble saying no?
I used to me too, but I I love it now.
No and no, that's it. It's a sentence. It's it's
a complete sentence. No, no, No, I don't.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Feel bad about it.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
At first.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I used to feel bad, like I don't want to
hurt nobody feelings.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
No, you know, now if like the right person that
you she said, like.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Girl, let's go, girl, I don't feel like it.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
You better get the way.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yes it is, yeah, yeah, And I mean I think
that's to like finding the balance of like prioritizing your time.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
With everybody, you know, so that you don't neglect people.
But also said that you're not neglecting yourself. Yep, because
there's weeks.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
So I was like, oh my goodness, I have literally
like said yes to everybody every day of the week,
and by Saturday.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's like I'm so tired. I just wish I had
said no to one of these things.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
You get emotionally drained, yes.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Oh yeah, gird.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
My battery ain't never fool so by the time, like
my drainage.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Is like fast.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
It's like you know how your computer when it gets.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Like older, or your phone, you can't hold the charge.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I'm there, like the thing, it ain't hold the charge.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I get out, I go out, and I'm like, y'all
ready to go, Chris, we just got here. I don't.
I'm ready.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I don't wanna be here.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Mm mm, I don't wanna be here. That's good, friend, right,
that's it. I got my pictures. They know I was here.
We're good.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Mm this is another good one. Bouncing back the art
of the comeback. Ooh, oh my goodness. Let me think
of a moment where I had to bounce back.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I feel like it.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Would probably be when I first moved to Atlanta from DC,
going from having a regular paying job, consistent check and
then moving here and going like flat broke money ran
out fast. Everything I had saved up ran out, and
trying to figure it out, and that it was a
(16:29):
series of years for the comeback.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It wasn't like a quick season where like bounce back.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Now you know what I'm saying, Your money can get
low and then it's like, oh, I know I got this.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Com boom and boom. But even in that like learning.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
The responsibility of how to manage things, because for me,
I went from making a good amount of money, you know,
a great amount of money to like making like a
lot of money in a very short amount of time
and not having everything I need to know and having
to learn really fast how to manage that so that
(17:00):
like when you do have down seasons, you know, okay, cool,
like I can I've already managed this properly so that
when I have a down season, I don't have to
figure out how to come back. And I think that
comes with maturity. But it wasn't always like that. So
that was probably one of the seasons a series of
years that I would call a season where I had
to literally fight my way back.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
It wasn't just a quick comeback.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Let's see what else you got ooh the friend audit
keeping your circle strong?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
This is really good And this goes with.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
All type like I wanna say, this could be for
friends and family. You gotta really make sure that the
people around you serve the season that you are in,
because if you're around people and you're unequally yoked when
it comes to where you are in your life, it
can derail you so fast, you know. And I think
that for me, where I am in my life now
and I look around at my friend's circle, we are
(18:00):
so strong in our faith, in our firm foundation in Christ,
and it helps me stay focused. If I was running
around with people that were like still in the streets
in the club, being promiscuous and doing all these different
things like not saying that everybody everybody's walk is different,
let's be very.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Clear on that.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
But if we're all striving for the same thing, if
we're all focused and we see each other at church
on Sundays, you know, like we're all like on that path,
it it helps.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
With your walks.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
So like when you look at your circle, you kind
of have to see, like, let's take a little inventory
and all to where are people in their lives who's
kind of stagnant right now, and how can we help
lift them up to where we are, you know, besides
just throwing people away, but also you have to be
around people who want that for themselves, you know. So
I think for me in my journey, it is I
(18:48):
do probably yearly kind of an otter. Maybe sometimes throughout
the year you kind of have to be very conscious
of your surroundings and who you can because you know,
sometimes you look and be like.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Wait a minute, why am I why acting like this?
Like what is that?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Cause I don't I don't really do this because you
start to pull you don't realize you are like the
people that you hang around the most. So like if
you guys like to cussin is like a sailor and
you're trying to stop cussing, You'll find yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Like, wait, why am I cussing all the time.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
It's like, oh, like okay, now I gotta talk to
my friend Hayber, like you gotta chill out cause I'm
really working on this and I'm starting to pick it up.
It's like a kid, you know, like you you got
a kid who like absorbs everything, and then you're like
where they get that from? Oh I got it from
a mama, you know. So it's like the same thing.
We we are constantly absorbing things. So I think the
(19:38):
friend audit is very very important, especially when it comes
to just evolving in life, you know. For me, even
with attaining fame and trying to figure out how to
navigate it, I've noticed that my friends I have even
had to kind of shift and even kind of elevate
and grow because they are around me. They're like, dang,
(20:01):
we realize, like we can't move how we used to
move because of you. And sometimes it can be a
heavy thing to carry when you're not the one that
has to bear that, you know, Like for me, it's
like it's a part of it, you know. But when
you're just attached to me and somebody who's just an
innocent bystander where they have to kind of shift too,
(20:21):
sometimes they don't understand why they have to shift or
even understand the importance of it because they're not living it.
But then other people that I'm around, they're like, no,
I get it, and I'm willing, you know what I'm saying, Like,
since I see, like I understand where you are and
where you're going, and I want to go too, and
I want to grow in my areas and I would
love to be around you because it inspires me.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But like when you have people.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Who aren't really quite there yet, you have to decide
when it's time to sever those ties or you know,
I feel like the saying that people are in your
life who are a reason in a season or a
lifetime is so true and you have to be okay
with that. You know, we want to hold on the
people and hold them tight forever. And that's not everybody
position in your life. And you have to understand that.
(21:02):
And that doesn't mean that you don't love me any less,
that they're not in your prayers, or that they can't call.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
You if they need you for anything.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
But some people just can't stay that close to you
all the time, you know, depending on where you are
in your life.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So the friend ought it is important.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Make sure you guys do that and check your circle.
You gotta keep it strong. Mm this is a good one.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Would you date you? Ooh ooh, that's so good.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Oh my goodness, wow, what I date me? I? I mean,
of course I would date me, But there are some
things when you ask me that, I'm like, there's some
things I need to work on.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I have like a like, I like the I like
things the way I like it, you.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Know, and I can when you've been by yourself for
so long, you have cultivated a way of life. You've
cultivated your patterns and the way you like to do things,
and sometimes it's hard.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
To like shift those things when you're so stuck in
your ways.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
So I know, for me, like when it comes to
dating me, if I was to date myself, those are
some things that this is good cause it's kind of
a little self reflection that I would need to work on,
like you know, being more like water, you know. You
know what I'm saying, Like if if I'm with somebody,
I want us to flow. You know, it doesn't have
to always be my way.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
That's something I need to work on.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
I think something else I would work on if I
was to date myself, would be wanting, oh, you know what,
if I was to date myself, I would also tell
Crystal to work on making sure that you give people
the grace that.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
You want people to give you.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
A lot of times we want people to come exactly
how we want them to come, you know, And.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I struggle with this myself, Like you have this list.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Of things, like I want somebody who is on the
same page as me spiritually, Like I want somebody.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Who's taken their walk with God.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Seriously, I want somebody who's got their stuff together. You know,
I want somebody who has this at least makes this
amount of money. You know, they don't have to make
the same amount. You have the list, you know what
I'm saying. Whatever your list is, we all have it.
And I think we have to understand that sometimes when
we put those limitations on people, we also block our
blessing of an amazing person. So I would definitely say,
(23:36):
learn to give grace more and kind of you know
what I'm saying, you can have your non negotiables, but
kind of throw the list away because sometimes the list
is just it's not realistic.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
So I would do that, and then what else?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
I think everything else, like I would keep you know,
like I'm a good time, Like I'm well traveled, so
I know a lot of things. I can introduce you
to different things, and.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I'm fun. I yeah, everything else, I'm good.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Those are a few things I need that control and
that grace I need to work on.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
But other than that, yeah, I would take myself. I
would let's see.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
What else, no more pick me energy, standing firm in
your worth.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I am their honey. I mm mm.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I used to be the girl I just had to
be in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Please pick me? Please not anymore.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
No, listen, I'm very open cause I did go through
a phase of my life where I just was very
closed minded and wasn't putting myself out there to meet anyone.
Now I'm very open minded. I've grown and mature in
the things that I wanted a man. But as far
as being desperate and like please pick me, like I,
(24:54):
I just I want to be a relationship so bad.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
No, those days are over. I'm I'm not the girl anymore.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
And I thank God that I have been delivered from
that because a lot of times when you had that
picked me energy, you are willing to do anything and
it turns into only how can I serve you? And
then the person's not reciprocated on the other end. But
when you have values and standards, you come to the
table with the man understanding from the jump, Oh.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
This is how I have to approach her.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Oh these are the things that she needs and demands
in a relationship. And I think when you entered in
that way, it sets the tone for what you need.
And also you're open as a woman to give the
man what he needs, and it's not a one sided relationship.
But I think a lot of times as we get older,
for me, it was I had to phase in my
life as I was getting older and I wasn't settled
down yet that I did have that energy where I
(25:46):
just wanted someone to pick me like I was ready.
And I think a lot of times I settled in
relationships because of that energy, and I was with people
that God had not designed for me and that he
hadn't chosen for me. But I was so eager to
be in a relationship and just be chosen. And you know,
like you want that, you know, like we can't see it,
like I don't care. No, you want those things, but
(26:07):
you wanted to be with the person that God chose
for you. So that's my take on that plot twists
and pivots when life doesn't go as planned. All right, guys,
I am working on this because I work so hard
to plan things, and this is where the control comes
back into.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
It's hard for me sometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
To immediately go into the all right, what are we
gonna do? Let's pivot, you know, I because when you
like so structured and you you plan everything to a t,
like you want things to go right, and sometimes depending
on if i'm PMS and I'm super aggy or if
I'm in that space like all right, it's fine, like
(26:50):
what are we gonna do? For the most part, i'ma
it's fine, what we're gonna do. But there's another like
I would say, forty nine percent of the time, I'm like,
all right, what we're gonna do? The other fifty one
percent of the time, I'm like, why is this not
going the way we planned it? And that just that's
not how life works. You know, life is going to
(27:11):
give you pivots, and that's something that I have to
work on to make sure that when those moments, those
plot twists happen, those moments occurred that I just say,
you know what, this is beyond my control.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
How can we fix it?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
If I was to give you an example of a
plot twist that I've had to bounce back from, Let's see,
besides the New York Fashion Week moment where I had
to we had to figure out what to do within
like three hours my very first fashion week, my day
(27:46):
one closed, left in Atlanta having to figure it out.
And that was when I tell y'all, that was like
one of the worst weeks. And I use the word
worse very loosely. Uh. We had just dropped the live show,
and I promise you like and every single day something
was going wrong. You know, the tickets were selling, but
I have my sweeties on Patreon, where there's certain things
(28:07):
that are supposed to go to them.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
First things were.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Being leaked that wasn't getting to them, and I'm telling
them one thing and I'm confirming with my team, and
then other things that happened that's beyond their control. They've
sent explicit destructions on how this works in the chrystal
in a world. I'm just like, what is happening? Like,
why is nothing going right? And I feel like every
day that week in my my swedies can attest like
(28:29):
every day that week it was something. And then that Friday,
we get to New York, we Land and the guy
was like, alright, we got six bags. I'm but I'm
seeing a seventh bag in the queue, but it's not here,
And I'm like, what what what?
Speaker 1 (28:48):
No, No, it's gotta be there.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
We were at the airport an hour and a half
before we left. I paid extra for Delta VIP. Why
is my bag not on this plane? And they were like,
ma'am I have no idea, but we appreciate your dibbind
medallion's dadus.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
We're gonna figure it out. And shout out Delta cause
y'all did figure it out. I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
But it was one of those moments where I had
to pivot and you think about it like this is
a dream come true, Like I'm getting to do my
first New.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
York Fashion Week and my clothes don't make it. That
was a moment. Shout out of Shauna, who she was.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
So calm, and she's like it's okay, cause like a
year or two before the same thing happened to her
when she went to Paris Fashion Week, so she knew
how to pivot.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
So I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Another situation in my life where I had to pivot
would probably be m on set. Okay, let's take to
set work. We're on set. We're moving ninety miles a minute,
super fast. It's a very intense. Herman, you can attest
(29:52):
to this, how fast we move at tps, very intense,
the speed of lightning.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
And you've gone through it.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
You're every single look and you know, okay for this outfit.
If I'm gonna be in this outfit for two weeks, baby, this.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
The one Yeah, and you.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Get in their dressing room and that's the wrong outfit,
and it's you're like, you know what I'm saying, not
your most favorite outfit, and you gotta word and you're like,
I gotta be in this for two weeks and they
don't have time to get the outfit from the dream building,
you know what I'm saying. That's a moment where it's
like you just gotta swallow it and pivot and be like,
(30:29):
all right, I just gotta wear this outfit.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Gotta make it work.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
And it's because you do, like take your character so seriously,
and you know the clothes that you just cause there's
certain pieces that just hit you know, and you want
to wear that piece the longest, and that's happened a
few times. But then you also have to understand the
culture and how fast we're moving where you gotta give grace.
That's where grace has to be extended and it's like, Okay,
we're not saving lives here, it's nothing to do the world, Like.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's just an outfit, but it's the outfit.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
So that's another moment of like, I feel like we're
having to to pivot and make things work.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Has there any many moments in your life where you
had to, like where God threw you apply to us
and you had to pivot.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
God's throwing so many, so many tools for me to pivot.
I'm not gonna name one specifically, okay, but earlier when
I was prepping your wardrobe for today and I was
doing all of these things, I was saying to myself,
(31:38):
you know, TPS Tylersburg Studios prepared me for this for
so many things because you have to you have to
be able to wear so many hats, and you have
to adjust that you have to move at the speed
of lightening. But at the same time you have to
(31:59):
be like perfect because you can't mess up.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
And I was grateful for that journey.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Disappointed. Oh I love that. That is so true.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Like when I think about our time at TPS, and like, man,
w if we had done like a reality show member
at one point they were like doing a show that
during COVID if they had a air like to see
that's the real show. The real show is behind the scenes, y'all.
And like seeing how we pivot and if you take
that and apply it to real life.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
There.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
There are so many life lessons that we learned through
work there, and I think one thing up, there's many
things that I'm grateful for Tyler for, but his work
ethic and how he pushed us and stretched us and
like it was like the pressure of diamonds being made.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
We were diamonds in the rough there.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
Like you said, it feels like we are saving lives.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
No, and he has your mind, he set we're not.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Yeah, there's a lot of money on the line.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
A lot of.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
How much money was something crazy crazy crazy amounts like
money every second?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Like a lot of money, admitute a seconds.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, when he breaks it down, you'll be like, we
got it. Sorry, No, that's so true. I love that.
Thank you for timing and Herman. All right, I think
that's good. That's it.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
That was good.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I like this, Dria, thank you for this idea for
this solo episode. I loved it.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into
this episode of the Keep It Positive Sweetish Show.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I'm your host, Christopher A. Hayeselick.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
You guys can follow me on all social media platforms.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
At Love Chris Doorinee.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
You can also follow our show at keep it Positive,
Sweetie and that's sweety with an ie. You can write
into our positive Outcomes listening letter at keep it Positive
Sweete at gmail dot com. In the meantime, in between time,
you already.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Know what to do. Keep it positive, Sweeties,
Calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host, CHRISTOPHINEE.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hazel, and this is to Keep It Positive Sweetie Show.
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Keep It
Positive Sweetie Show, a safe space to heal, laugh, grow
and love.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I'm your host, CHRISTOPHINEE. Hazel, and today is another solo
episode because you guys love these. Today, I'm answering questions.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
It's fun.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
I even broke the fourth wall and included some of
my crews, so let's have a good time.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I hope you guys enjoyed this one.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
All right, guys, So I'm gonna do something different on
this episode. I'm gonna be answering a few questions that
will also bring you into my mindset and how I
think about things.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
The first one is de Lulu or.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Manifestation HM, the power of dreaming big. I can definitely
tend to be a little de Lulu. I remember like
growing up and my mom would always say, oh my goodness,
you are literally the biggest risk taker of the family.
And I think it got me to where I am
today because I see no bounds to how far I
(01:04):
can go. Some of the craziest things I did growing
up I remember when I was in Washington, DC working
on Capitol Hill, I drove from DC to New York
to audition for Diddy's assistant.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
It was crazy because I wanted to be a singer.
I wanted to be entertainer, and I was like, Okay,
what's the best way to.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Go about this.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I've always, even from back then, I've always been a
firm believer of putting yourself around what you want to
do so that you can learn from all aspects of
that space. And that was one of the craziest things
I did. I did clearly didn't get it.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
And then.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I remember another time when I was working on Capitol
Hill in DC that this was when then Senator Obama
was running for his first term in presidency and his
his I don't know if he's a legislative correspondent or
but he worked in Cender Obama's office at the time,
and he was like, hey, Crystal, he was like, center
(02:07):
Obama's running for president, and we have some paid positions
to come work on the campaign.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Would you want to come do it?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
And I'm like heck yeah, And he was like alright
that so I call my parents. I'm like, hey, guys,
I'm going to quit my job and I'm gonna go
work on the Obama campaign. And my parents were like,
you are crazy, and I was like, no, I really
think he's gonna win. My parents were like, I don't know,
you know, cause we had never seen it, you know,
(02:33):
and this is no slight to them, Like nobody ever
thought that we would have a black president, you know.
We were hopeful that we would have one, But at
that moment, they really weren't sure that it was smart
for me to quit my job to go work on
a campaign for someone who I could possibly not have
a job.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
After that moment needs to say I was right, they
were wrong. No, but he won.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
And after that they were like, you know what, We're
not gonna tell you what you can and cannot do.
Just go for it, because I could have been working
in the White House for the first black president, you know,
but that's neither here nor there. So yeah, I'm I
think I'm definitely Delulu when it comes to manifesting my dreams.
So I guess that has played a huge part in
my success today and literally since a kid, I don't
(03:23):
care if anybody likes it or doesn't like it, as
long as I set my mind to it, there's no
stopping me. So call me de Lulu or whatever you
wanna call me. But yeah, alright, So the next one
is how do I make everyday moments feel magical. I
feel like I try to make everything that I do
fun and enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I don't really do anything that I don't enjoy.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
You know, there are some things where like, uh, this
isn't the most fun thing, but I know it's good
for me, so I do it and then I end
up loving it. But things that I make enjoyable and
that I just really love. I love my daily roots.
I love my self care routines. You guys know, in
the mornings, I do my meditation, I pray, I read
(04:06):
my Bible, and I journal in my like the Flame
Within journal. That is very therapeutic for me, and it
really helps me kind of get centered in the day
and helps me fight off all the craziness that I'm
ready to face throughout the day, things that make me
feel like I'm in a movie.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So I just had a moment.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I was in New York Fashion Week and I, uh,
I was sitting next to Oh my god, it's such
a amazing moment. I was sitting next to j Manuel, who
if you've watched America's Next Top Model, he was one
of the guest judges that always made appearances on America's
Next Top Model.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So I have an just a great, great love for
j Manuel.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So I got to sit next him at the Romeo
Hunt show. And anybody who knows me knows that the
Devil Wars product is one of my favorite movies starring
Mail Street. And we're at the show and the show
was getting started late, and I had a very very
tight schedule that day where I had to be at
another show by five o'clock, so I was banking on
that show starting on time, and Jago's honey, he was like,
(05:14):
you need to leave now, and I was like, what
do you mean.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
He was like, you don't want to be late for
that show.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
He said, in the fashion world there's a fifteen minute
grace period. And he was like, by now and a
winter would be walking out, you should go. And I
swear in that moment, I was like, this is a
scene from a movie.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
It felt like a movie.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
There's so many points in my life that I feel
like feel kind of like a movie where I look
back and I'm like, that's.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
My life, that's really my life.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
So yeah, those are ways that I'm that I make
my life fun. And then also moments of my life
that kind.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Of felt like a movie. Let's see what we have next, ooh,
the glow up era.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
We need to find some pictures of me before now
I look crazy. Somebody found a like ill I probably
posted it, but it was a picture of me when
I was a kid.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
My teeth were all over the place and I never wear.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Bracest, so it was like, I guess as they grew
and they just grew in straight, but at that moment
is like one was growing in. It was really bad.
Even like through high school. I look back at my
senior picture, like how thin my eyebrows were. I'd be like,
oh my gosh, what were you thinking?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
But becoming my best self inside out? I think for
the longest I've pretty much been a very confident person.
But there was a phase in my life where I
kind of lost myself in my identity and trying to
find myself.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And I think where I am.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
Now, I am so firm and who I am. I
love who I am inside out. I love the skin
I'm in. Of course, there's moments where I gained little
weight and y'all be m I'll be seeing y'all, y'all
be talking about is she pregnant, she didn't, she can't fat,
all these things. But there's times where I I am
(07:12):
hard on myself. You guys don't even have to say
those things because I am so hard on myself.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I see it.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
I'm like, all right, let me fix it. And there's
some things I have to do for work where they're like,
you do not lose any weight. We need to actually
gain some weight because you're pregnant or whatever the case
and being we need it to look real. But yeah,
that for the most part, I am very confident, but
there were times where I was like, ooh, girl, like
you gotta really pull it together. But I think things
(07:37):
that I've done to get to that point is honestly
just understanding that one year made in the image of God,
there is no one else like you. And I think
there was this moment in our culture in society where
everybody was just walk we all, everybody was looking the same,
like everybody had the body, and it was like there
was no uniqueness, and I would compare myself to all
(08:01):
these girls, you get on social media and everybody has
the perfect body. And it was a moment where I
was just like, Okay, maybe I need to do a
little something here.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
You under staying a little here.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
And I remember like not feeling my best self in
those moments. But once I got past that and realized,
you know what you are good, you know, like, do
your thing, do what works for you. And I don'tkno
nobody for what they do. Do you think it will
works for you? But as long as you feel good
about it. And once I got to that place, I
was good. But I had to stop comparing myself to
(08:32):
other people and put the phone down.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Child.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Confidence is contagious. How you walk into any room like
you own it. Okay, guys, let me tell you something.
I am a confident woman. But when I walk into rooms,
I'm not the girl that's like, Hi.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Hey, I'm Crystal, nice to meet you.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I am the girl that's in the corner, like, not networking,
not talking to people. So I had to take people
with me that don't mind doing that, you know. So
I don't know if I really walk into rooms like
I own it. You know, I do walk in and
if I'm spoken to I'm definitely going to speak with
you confidently and carrying a great conversation so that when
(09:18):
you leave it's like, Yo, that was a really dope conversation.
But as sorry as me walking in and just.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Kind of owning the room.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
No, Like, I feel like when you live your life
in the spotlight, you kind of tend to like sit
back in those scenarios.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
So I don't know if I really walk in and
own it.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
But.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, I'll be chilling. I really be chilling.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Uh. Let's see soft life versus the hustle life.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Mm, can you have both? Oh? My goodness. So it's
just tough for me because I I feel like.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You have to be very intentional about your soft life
if you are a woman or man, whoever it is,
that is about your hustling about your business. A lot
of times, I think we have misconstrued the fact that
being about our business we put aside our soft side,
because when you're about your business, you had to you
don't put on your masculine hat and be tough so
(10:23):
people don't run over you and things like that. But
I think for me, I'm finally finding the balance of
doing things that bring out that softer side. Because honey,
I lost it for a minute, Like I was, I
gotta do everything.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm hard, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
If man, I ain't got nobody to help me, so
let me just do it myself, like I was doing everything.
And I remember at one point in my life, I
just like broke down crime cause I'm like, dang, like
I don't have anybody to like help with anything. You
ever feel like that, Dria, Yes, like, And it was
something as simple as the garbage disposal. My garbage disposal
broke and I was like, do everything. I'm trying to
(11:01):
build a business. I was new to acting and trying
to bounce out that schedule and my whole life is changing,
and I'm like, I literally am doing all this by myself,
you know, like I didn't have another human body to
help me with it. And I think in that moment,
I was like the soft life started to kind of
like become more populix. I think a lot of women
(11:21):
who are entrepreneurs and successful started to realize, dang, I'm
doing this on my own, and I've kind of become hard.
I'm very hard.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I'm harder than hard, harder than hard.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Self like me, I want yes, But do you feel
like that's something that we as women have to really
kind of take control of even if we don't have
a man that can make our lives easier, because I
think a lot of times we like think that somebody
else has to come in and do that. Is that
something that we can like implement into our own lives
or do you think it's just easier when you have
somebody to kind of land though?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Well, I think I'm a little different from you because
where you are a single parent, you're forced.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
That's a different asset. Yeah, harder, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Doing things yourself and stuff like that, versus being single.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
That's being single.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
You could kind of do more of the soft life.
But as a parent and an entrepreneur and a working
momb and the go gotta do, it's kind of hard.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, I can see that kind of hard. I didn't
think of that from that perspective.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, because I don't have any kids, so I don't
really have anything.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Else your soft life.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
You're gonna get your cash.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You like, girl, what plates?
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Why are you gonna apply on dropping kids off at school?
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Right?
Speaker 4 (12:40):
But there is a balance that you you can do
when you have a lot of things going on I
fit in my plates, I feel in going to work out,
I fit in my facials, but then an hour later,
I'm back to.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
The hard life back.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Oh yeah, that's real. That's real.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
So I think for both of us really more about
finding that balance and kind of pending in that time
to like I gotta have myself timed. Yes, well, I
k think that kind of also ties into like burnout
because you know what I'm saying, When you don't take
the time to be intentional about the time and space
that you need as women, it like we end up
(13:18):
burning out.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Definitely burn out.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Mm yeah, so it tell me how I recharge or burnout?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Now listen, I will tell everybody out. I can't.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, Like, I'm very firm when it comes to my boundaries.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Of No, you've got to sit boundaries.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I have to, like even like now, like I already
told them, on a certain date when I'm getting ready
prepare to go back for sisters, don't call me for anything.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yep. Let you know, so we're do.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
I will work my tail to the bone up until
that point so you have everything you need for me
to take that month off because once that I'm focused
on that and it's so much already knew, you know how,
like you can see it in uh, in advance, like
it's too much, Like so, l I kN know by
this point, I'm gonna be done.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
So I think having those healthy boundaries of saying no
is like so important here, that's.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
What anybody, friends.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, clients, all of that. Do you have trouble saying no?
I used to me too, but I I love it now.
No and no, that's it. It's a sentence. It's it's
a complete sentence. No, no, No, I don't.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Feel bad about it.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
At first.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I used to feel bad, like I don't want to
hurt nobody feelings.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
No, you know, now if like the right person that
you she said, like.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Girl, let's go, girl, I don't feel like it.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
You better get the way.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yes it is, yeah, yeah, And I mean I think
that's to like finding the balance of like prioritizing your time.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
With everybody, you know, so that you don't neglect people.
But also said that you're not neglecting yourself. Yep, because
there's weeks.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
So I was like, oh my goodness, I have literally
like said yes to everybody every day of the week,
and by Saturday.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's like I'm so tired. I just wish I had
said no to one of these things.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
You get emotionally drained, yes.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Oh yeah, gird.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
My battery ain't never fool so by the time, like
my drainage.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Is like fast.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
It's like you know how your computer when it gets.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Like older, or your phone, you can't hold the charge.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I'm there, like the thing, it ain't hold the charge.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I get out, I go out, and I'm like, y'all
ready to go, Chris, we just got here. I don't.
I'm ready.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I don't wanna be here.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Mm mm, I don't wanna be here. That's good, friend, right,
that's it. I got my pictures. They know I was here.
We're good.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Mm this is another good one. Bouncing back the art
of the comeback. Ooh, oh my goodness. Let me think
of a moment where I had to bounce back.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I feel like it.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Would probably be when I first moved to Atlanta from DC,
going from having a regular paying job, consistent check and
then moving here and going like flat broke money ran
out fast. Everything I had saved up ran out, and
trying to figure it out, and that it was a
(16:29):
series of years for the comeback.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It wasn't like a quick season where like bounce back.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Now you know what I'm saying, Your money can get
low and then it's like, oh, I know I got this.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Com boom and boom. But even in that like learning.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
The responsibility of how to manage things, because for me,
I went from making a good amount of money, you know,
a great amount of money to like making like a
lot of money in a very short amount of time
and not having everything I need to know and having
to learn really fast how to manage that so that
(17:00):
like when you do have down seasons, you know, okay, cool,
like I can I've already managed this properly so that
when I have a down season, I don't have to
figure out how to come back. And I think that
comes with maturity. But it wasn't always like that. So
that was probably one of the seasons a series of
years that I would call a season where I had
to literally fight my way back.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
It wasn't just a quick comeback.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Let's see what else you got ooh the friend audit
keeping your circle strong?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
This is really good And this goes with.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
All type like I wanna say, this could be for
friends and family. You gotta really make sure that the
people around you serve the season that you are in,
because if you're around people and you're unequally yoked when
it comes to where you are in your life, it
can derail you so fast, you know. And I think
that for me, where I am in my life now
and I look around at my friend's circle, we are
(18:00):
so strong in our faith, in our firm foundation in Christ,
and it helps me stay focused. If I was running
around with people that were like still in the streets
in the club, being promiscuous and doing all these different
things like not saying that everybody everybody's walk is different,
let's be very.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Clear on that.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
But if we're all striving for the same thing, if
we're all focused and we see each other at church
on Sundays, you know, like we're all like on that path,
it it helps.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
With your walks.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
So like when you look at your circle, you kind
of have to see, like, let's take a little inventory
and all to where are people in their lives who's
kind of stagnant right now, and how can we help
lift them up to where we are, you know, besides
just throwing people away, but also you have to be
around people who want that for themselves, you know. So
I think for me in my journey, it is I
(18:48):
do probably yearly kind of an otter. Maybe sometimes throughout
the year you kind of have to be very conscious
of your surroundings and who you can because you know,
sometimes you look and be like.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Wait a minute, why am I why acting like this?
Like what is that?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Cause I don't I don't really do this because you
start to pull you don't realize you are like the
people that you hang around the most. So like if
you guys like to cussin is like a sailor and
you're trying to stop cussing, You'll find yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Like, wait, why am I cussing all the time.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
It's like, oh, like okay, now I gotta talk to
my friend Hayber, like you gotta chill out cause I'm
really working on this and I'm starting to pick it up.
It's like a kid, you know, like you you got
a kid who like absorbs everything, and then you're like
where they get that from? Oh I got it from
a mama, you know. So it's like the same thing.
We we are constantly absorbing things. So I think the
(19:38):
friend audit is very very important, especially when it comes
to just evolving in life, you know. For me, even
with attaining fame and trying to figure out how to
navigate it, I've noticed that my friends I have even
had to kind of shift and even kind of elevate
and grow because they are around me. They're like, dang,
(20:01):
we realize, like we can't move how we used to
move because of you. And sometimes it can be a
heavy thing to carry when you're not the one that
has to bear that, you know, Like for me, it's
like it's a part of it, you know. But when
you're just attached to me and somebody who's just an
innocent bystander where they have to kind of shift too,
(20:21):
sometimes they don't understand why they have to shift or
even understand the importance of it because they're not living it.
But then other people that I'm around, they're like, no,
I get it, and I'm willing, you know what I'm saying, Like,
since I see, like I understand where you are and
where you're going, and I want to go too, and
I want to grow in my areas and I would
love to be around you because it inspires me.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But like when you have people.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Who aren't really quite there yet, you have to decide
when it's time to sever those ties or you know,
I feel like the saying that people are in your
life who are a reason in a season or a
lifetime is so true and you have to be okay
with that. You know, we want to hold on the
people and hold them tight forever. And that's not everybody
position in your life. And you have to understand that.
(21:02):
And that doesn't mean that you don't love me any less,
that they're not in your prayers, or that they can't call.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
You if they need you for anything.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
But some people just can't stay that close to you
all the time, you know, depending on where you are
in your life.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So the friend ought it is important.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Make sure you guys do that and check your circle.
You gotta keep it strong. Mm this is a good one.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Would you date you? Ooh ooh, that's so good.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Oh my goodness, wow, what I date me? I? I mean,
of course I would date me, But there are some
things when you ask me that, I'm like, there's some
things I need to work on.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I have like a like, I like the I like
things the way I like it, you.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Know, and I can when you've been by yourself for
so long, you have cultivated a way of life. You've
cultivated your patterns and the way you like to do things,
and sometimes it's hard.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
To like shift those things when you're so stuck in
your ways.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
So I know, for me, like when it comes to
dating me, if I was to date myself, those are
some things that this is good cause it's kind of
a little self reflection that I would need to work on,
like you know, being more like water, you know. You
know what I'm saying, Like if if I'm with somebody,
I want us to flow. You know, it doesn't have
to always be my way.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
That's something I need to work on.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
I think something else I would work on if I
was to date myself, would be wanting, oh, you know what,
if I was to date myself, I would also tell
Crystal to work on making sure that you give people
the grace that.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
You want people to give you.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
A lot of times we want people to come exactly
how we want them to come, you know, And.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I struggle with this myself, Like you have this list.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Of things, like I want somebody who is on the
same page as me spiritually, Like I want somebody.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Who's taken their walk with God.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Seriously, I want somebody who's got their stuff together. You know,
I want somebody who has this at least makes this
amount of money. You know, they don't have to make
the same amount. You have the list, you know what
I'm saying. Whatever your list is, we all have it.
And I think we have to understand that sometimes when
we put those limitations on people, we also block our
blessing of an amazing person. So I would definitely say,
(23:36):
learn to give grace more and kind of you know
what I'm saying, you can have your non negotiables, but
kind of throw the list away because sometimes the list
is just it's not realistic.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
So I would do that, and then what else?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
I think everything else, like I would keep you know,
like I'm a good time, Like I'm well traveled, so
I know a lot of things. I can introduce you
to different things, and.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I'm fun. I yeah, everything else, I'm good.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Those are a few things I need that control and
that grace I need to work on.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
But other than that, yeah, I would take myself. I
would let's see.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
What else, no more pick me energy, standing firm in
your worth.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I am their honey. I mm mm.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I used to be the girl I just had to
be in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Please pick me? Please not anymore.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
No, listen, I'm very open cause I did go through
a phase of my life where I just was very
closed minded and wasn't putting myself out there to meet anyone.
Now I'm very open minded. I've grown and mature in
the things that I wanted a man. But as far
as being desperate and like please pick me, like I,
(24:54):
I just I want to be a relationship so bad.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
No, those days are over. I'm I'm not the girl anymore.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
And I thank God that I have been delivered from
that because a lot of times when you had that
picked me energy, you are willing to do anything and
it turns into only how can I serve you? And
then the person's not reciprocated on the other end. But
when you have values and standards, you come to the
table with the man understanding from the jump, Oh.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
This is how I have to approach her.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Oh these are the things that she needs and demands
in a relationship. And I think when you entered in
that way, it sets the tone for what you need.
And also you're open as a woman to give the
man what he needs, and it's not a one sided relationship.
But I think a lot of times as we get older,
for me, it was I had to phase in my
life as I was getting older and I wasn't settled
down yet that I did have that energy where I
(25:46):
just wanted someone to pick me like I was ready.
And I think a lot of times I settled in
relationships because of that energy, and I was with people
that God had not designed for me and that he
hadn't chosen for me. But I was so eager to
be in a relationship and just be chosen. And you know,
like you want that, you know, like we can't see it,
like I don't care. No, you want those things, but
(26:07):
you wanted to be with the person that God chose
for you. So that's my take on that plot twists
and pivots when life doesn't go as planned. All right, guys,
I am working on this because I work so hard
to plan things, and this is where the control comes
back into.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
It's hard for me sometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
To immediately go into the all right, what are we
gonna do? Let's pivot, you know, I because when you
like so structured and you you plan everything to a t,
like you want things to go right, and sometimes depending
on if i'm PMS and I'm super aggy or if
I'm in that space like all right, it's fine, like
(26:50):
what are we gonna do? For the most part, i'ma
it's fine, what we're gonna do. But there's another like
I would say, forty nine percent of the time, I'm like,
all right, what we're gonna do? The other fifty one
percent of the time, I'm like, why is this not
going the way we planned it? And that just that's
not how life works. You know, life is going to
(27:11):
give you pivots, and that's something that I have to
work on to make sure that when those moments, those
plot twists happen, those moments occurred that I just say,
you know what, this is beyond my control.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
How can we fix it?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
If I was to give you an example of a
plot twist that I've had to bounce back from, Let's see,
besides the New York Fashion Week moment where I had
to we had to figure out what to do within
like three hours my very first fashion week, my day
(27:46):
one closed, left in Atlanta having to figure it out.
And that was when I tell y'all, that was like
one of the worst weeks. And I use the word
worse very loosely. Uh. We had just dropped the live show,
and I promise you like and every single day something
was going wrong. You know, the tickets were selling, but
I have my sweeties on Patreon, where there's certain things
(28:07):
that are supposed to go to them.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
First things were.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Being leaked that wasn't getting to them, and I'm telling
them one thing and I'm confirming with my team, and
then other things that happened that's beyond their control. They've
sent explicit destructions on how this works in the chrystal
in a world. I'm just like, what is happening? Like,
why is nothing going right? And I feel like every
day that week in my my swedies can attest like
(28:29):
every day that week it was something. And then that Friday,
we get to New York, we Land and the guy
was like, alright, we got six bags. I'm but I'm
seeing a seventh bag in the queue, but it's not here,
And I'm like, what what what?
Speaker 1 (28:48):
No, No, it's gotta be there.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
We were at the airport an hour and a half
before we left. I paid extra for Delta VIP. Why
is my bag not on this plane? And they were like,
ma'am I have no idea, but we appreciate your dibbind
medallion's dadus.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
We're gonna figure it out. And shout out Delta cause
y'all did figure it out. I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
But it was one of those moments where I had
to pivot and you think about it like this is
a dream come true, Like I'm getting to do my
first New.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
York Fashion Week and my clothes don't make it. That
was a moment. Shout out of Shauna, who she was.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
So calm, and she's like it's okay, cause like a
year or two before the same thing happened to her
when she went to Paris Fashion Week, so she knew
how to pivot.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
So I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Another situation in my life where I had to pivot
would probably be m on set. Okay, let's take to
set work. We're on set. We're moving ninety miles a minute,
super fast. It's a very intense. Herman, you can attest
(29:52):
to this, how fast we move at tps, very intense,
the speed of lightning.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
And you've gone through it.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
You're every single look and you know, okay for this outfit.
If I'm gonna be in this outfit for two weeks, baby, this.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
The one Yeah, and you.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Get in their dressing room and that's the wrong outfit,
and it's you're like, you know what I'm saying, not
your most favorite outfit, and you gotta word and you're like,
I gotta be in this for two weeks and they
don't have time to get the outfit from the dream building,
you know what I'm saying. That's a moment where it's
like you just gotta swallow it and pivot and be like,
(30:29):
all right, I just gotta wear this outfit.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Gotta make it work.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
And it's because you do, like take your character so seriously,
and you know the clothes that you just cause there's
certain pieces that just hit you know, and you want
to wear that piece the longest, and that's happened a
few times. But then you also have to understand the
culture and how fast we're moving where you gotta give grace.
That's where grace has to be extended and it's like, Okay,
we're not saving lives here, it's nothing to do the world, Like.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's just an outfit, but it's the outfit.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
So that's another moment of like, I feel like we're
having to to pivot and make things work.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Has there any many moments in your life where you
had to, like where God threw you apply to us
and you had to pivot.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
God's throwing so many, so many tools for me to pivot.
I'm not gonna name one specifically, okay, but earlier when
I was prepping your wardrobe for today and I was
doing all of these things, I was saying to myself,
(31:38):
you know, TPS Tylersburg Studios prepared me for this for
so many things because you have to you have to
be able to wear so many hats, and you have
to adjust that you have to move at the speed
of lightening. But at the same time you have to
(31:59):
be like perfect because you can't mess up.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
And I was grateful for that journey.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Disappointed. Oh I love that. That is so true.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Like when I think about our time at TPS, and like, man,
w if we had done like a reality show member
at one point they were like doing a show that
during COVID if they had a air like to see
that's the real show. The real show is behind the scenes, y'all.
And like seeing how we pivot and if you take
that and apply it to real life.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
There.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
There are so many life lessons that we learned through
work there, and I think one thing up, there's many
things that I'm grateful for Tyler for, but his work
ethic and how he pushed us and stretched us and
like it was like the pressure of diamonds being made.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
We were diamonds in the rough there.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
Like you said, it feels like we are saving lives.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
No, and he has your mind, he set we're not.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Yeah, there's a lot of money on the line.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
A lot of.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
How much money was something crazy crazy crazy amounts like
money every second?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Like a lot of money, admitute a seconds.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, when he breaks it down, you'll be like, we
got it. Sorry, No, that's so true. I love that.
Thank you for timing and Herman. All right, I think
that's good. That's it.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
That was good.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I like this, Dria, thank you for this idea for
this solo episode. I loved it.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into
this episode of the Keep It Positive Sweetish Show.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I'm your host, Christopher A. Hayeselick.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
You guys can follow me on all social media platforms.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
At Love Chris Doorinee.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
You can also follow our show at keep it Positive,
Sweetie and that's sweety with an ie. You can write
into our positive Outcomes listening letter at keep it Positive
Sweete at gmail dot com. In the meantime, in between time,
you already.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Know what to do. Keep it positive, Sweeties,
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