Mom Can't Cook! A DCOM Podcast

What would you do with the incredible power of time travel? No, look... no, you can't stop historical tragedies from happening because you can only go back in time 48 hours so- no, you can't buy a lottery ticket either because you're a teenager in this scenario, so you- no, you can't see wonderful things all over the world, you have to remain within a 20 minute travel radius of your school. You'd use it to stop nerds embar...

Imagine the situation: the Walt Disney company wants to turn your life story into a movie! It's a dream come true. That is, until the movie comes out, and you realise it's a crushingly boring series of basketball games and for some reason they've decided to name it "Double Teamed". You'd be livid.

Still, I suppose it has to feature some basketball, as Double Teamed tells the real life story of Heather and Heidi Burge, twin ...

Being a princess is hard work. You're the best person in your whole kingdom, and yet you're somehow expected to set an example for the scum who live there, and occasionally military dictators will stride into your throne room and declare a military coup. Luckily for those situations, we have the Princess Protection Program, a secret service just for young, female royalty, who will spirit princesses away from dangerous conf...

The title of this week's DCOM, Camp Rock, is misleading, because while it does take place at a camp, the only rocking taking place is the rocking back and forth by harrowed students who can't face another day of impromptu unaccompanied singing, people drumming on every available surface, and hip hop dance classes taught by Joe Jonas.

Apparently though, there are people who actually want to attend Camp Rock, on purpose, peo...

Parents might seem like they've got everything figured out, but it's worth remembering that they're just one failed time travel experiment away from crying, throwing temper tantrums, and liberally pissing themselves at the slightest provocation. Not so high and mighty now, eh?

That's the premise of 2001's The Poof Point, in which accomplished husband and wife scientist team Norton and Marigold Ballard decide to let a dog w...

We're back in the Wonderful World of Disney this week, to check out Life-Size, the 2000 comedy starring Lindsay Lohan as a grieving little girl who uses a necromancy grimoire to try and resurrect her dead mother, and Tyra Banks as a doll who comes to life and tries to have sex with that little girl's father.

Lohan plays Casey, a young girl who uses a mystical book to try and bring her mom back to life, but when some doll h...

High-schooler Jamie Bartlett finds herself thrust onto the world stage when an email error sees her fictionlised journal become a nationwide best-seller. But what will happen if her fellow students find out some of the characters are loosely based on them?!

If your answer is 'probably nothing?' then boy does Read It and Weep have a problem with you, buddy. Brace for one of the most incoherent DCOMs Luke and Andy have ever ...

High School Musical is back in High School Musical 2! Will this one contain an actual musical? No! And also it's not even set in a high school this time!

With school out for the summer, the Wildcats of East High find themselves working at a snooty country club owned by the parents of objectively best characters Ryan and Sharpay Evans. But as sports star Troy starts being groomed for a scholarship to the prestigious Univers...

Mom Can't Cook! returns on 20 Jan with High School Musical 2, but until then we thought we'd treat you to a feed drop of a classic episode of Extra Helpings, Mom Can't Cook's Patreon-exclusive bonus podcast. This episode originally aired on 22 April 2024, and covers Disney Channel Original TV Show So Weird season 2 episode 10, 'Oopa'. Get access to over 40 (and counting) hours of bonus episodes by going to Patreon.com/Extr...

Xmas is here folks, and what better way to celebrate than with a LIVE recap of a film about a violent kidnapping, let me finish, that takes place at Christmas?

That's right, it's Holiday in Handcuffs, the 2007 romantic comedy in which Melissa Joan Hart, recently dumped by her boyfriend and facing the prospect of a dateless Christmas with her family, kidnaps Mario Lopez and forces him to pretend to be in love with her. It's...

What if a snowman came to life? It'd be pretty horrifying I expect, on account of how he'd be like, three fleshy balls, precariously balanced on top of each other. But what if the snowman had abs? Pretty sexy, right? Also he has the mind of a child. Wait, come back.

That's the premise for Hot Frosty (2024), Netflix's smash hit holiday movie in which a sexual snowman comes to life to romance a bereaved widow looking to put ...

We return to The Wonderful World of Disney for this week's offering, 1999's H-E Double Hockey Sticks, which reunites Boy Meets World's Will Friedel and Matthew Lawrence as Griffelkin, a demon in training, and Dave Heinrich, an ambitious hockey player who would sell his soul to win the Stanley Cup, and then does do that.

But that's when things start to go wrong, not only for Griffelkin, who finds himself getting attached to...

In a last gasp for Halloween 2024, Mom Can't Cook is back with our live Halloween special, in which we're recapping 2004's Halloweentown High!

Marnie Cromwell, powerful witch and Best Person In The World is back with a new plan to unite the human world and Halloweentown: make a bunch of Halloweentown students attend her high school, in disguise, so that no one knows they're from Halloweentown. But having bet the Cromwell m...

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Mom Can't Cook podcast! Consider this dismaying observation: this episode is about the 2003 Haunted Mansion movie, which offered us this chilling challenge: watching the 2003 Haunted Mansion movie.

Eddie Murphy plays Jim Evers, a workaholic real estate agent who drags his family to the titular manse with the hopes of earning a big payday from selling it. But as soon as the Evers arrive they...

Spooky season is here, Mom Can't Cook fans, and we're kicking off with a slam dunk DCOM about twins who are also witches. That's right, it's Twitches!

Sister Sister's Tia and Tamera Mowry play Alexandra and Camryn, two strangers who run into each other in a clothing store and realise that not only are they twins, they are also powerful witches able to do magical spells like "Undress Mannequins" and "Explode Cola". But can ...

This week, the DCOM writers spin the sports wheel and get a teen... [BOXER] who is worried about the ridicule he'll receive for his secret love of... [COMPETITIVE DOUBLE DUTCH JUMP ROPE]. Huh. Not sure how that got on here, but let's see how they get on.

The boxer in question is Isadore "Izzy" Daniels, a pugilistic prodigy under a lot of pressure from his overbearing dad to succeed and become the third generation of Daniel...

Jett Jackson is the star of the hit TV show Silverstone, a thrilling spy drama full of karate and explosions. He's also a regular kid trying to keep his grades up and ask his friend Kayla to the prom. As you can imagine, this is a challenging lifestyle to maintain that only gets more difficult when he accidentally falls through a dimension hole and ends up in the fictional Silverstone universe, while the fictional characte...

Vega omega, Mom Can't Cook! fans, this week we're heading back to the spay-stay for another instalment in the Zenon series of sci fi films that is confusing major, as well as viral extreme (bad).

When we join our hero Zenon, she has a lot going on, with a new cousin, her space driving test, and the Galactic Teen Supreme contest all vying for her attention. But when moon activist Sage Borealis approaches her to tell her tha...

High School Musical may have been the most successful musical DCOM, but it wasn't the first. That dubious honour belongs to 2003's The Cheetah Girls, which charts the fortunes of a four piece girl group as they navigate friendship, fame, and deciding whether or not to trust a man who is literally named 'Jackal Johnson.'

When we first meet the Cheetah Girls they're performing at kids' birthday parties to audiences just wait...