Angela (52) and Brian (52) have been together since they were teenagers and have raised four kids.
Now as they approach being empty nesters, they’re stuck in a sitcom-style standoff: Angela loves bargain shopping and dreams of traveling the world, but Brian clings to a decades-old belief that they need $1 million to retire and panics over every pantry purchase. Their net worth proves that they’re actually financially stable—but Brian can’t shake the fear of not having enough.
Can Ramit help them rewrite their roles, align on what retirement really looks like, and find connection beyond coupons and control?
In this episode we uncover:
• Why Angela believes they’re ready to retire—and why Brian is convinced they’re still broke.
• The decades-old advice Brian can’t shake—and how it’s been quietly dictating their entire financial life.
• The performance dynamic they’ve fallen into—and how it’s masking deeper emotional needs.
• The stark difference in how they define a “Rich Life”—and what’s missing from both visions.
• How Angela uses frugality to feel responsible—and the cost of that invisible labor.
• The moment Brian saw their actual net worth, and why it didn’t change how he feels.
• What happens when couples keep score with their sacrifices—and how it erodes connection.
• How fear of losing control is stopping Brian from building the life he actually wants.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) “I’ve been chasing that number since I was 18”
(00:04:11) The emotional cost of saying no to everything
(00:19:08) Ramit breaks down their numbers
(00:29:21) “Why do we need eight jars of peanut butter?”
(00:40:57) Trapped in the “justifier” and “decider” roles
(00:50:34) Frugal lives, empty spaces
(00:58:01) “I think we’ve just kind of… drifted”
(01:06:04) How much is enough to retire—and what would make us feel safe?
(01:18:42) Where are they now? Angela and Brian’s follow-ups
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Links mentioned in this episode
• Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events
Connect with Ramit
• Get my new book, Money For Couples
• Get Money Coaching with Ramit
• Download the Conscious Spending Plan
• Listen to my book—now on Audible
• Get my New York Times best-selling book
• Get my no-numbers journal
• Other episodes
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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.
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