July 15, 2025 • 21 mins
🎧 Episode Description
Have you ever looked at your calendar and realized you booked every minute—even your rest? Jim Burgoon shares his own burnout story and introduces REST, a four-step framework to help leaders recognize red flags, evaluate energy gaps, schedule micro-rests (and mini-Sabbaths), and team up for accountability. If you’re leading on empty, this episode gives you practical, Scripture-anchored habits to reclaim your strength and lead with purpose.
🔑 Key Takeaways
- REST Framework: Remember R.E.S.T. – Recognize, Evaluate, Schedule, Team.
- Recognize Red Flags: Watch for exhaustion that won’t break and a hollow prayer life.
- Evaluate Energy Gaps: Track cortisol spikes vs. true recovery minutes.
- Schedule Rest: Use short, frequent micro-rests and protect a weekly mini-Sabbath.
- Team Up: Build a triad for mutual accountability, support, and growth.
📖 Scripture Anchors
- Mark 6:31 – "Come away... and rest a while."
- Hebrews 4:9–10 – The promise of Sabbath rest.
- Galatians 6:2 – "Carry one another’s burdens..."
📣 Connect & Engage
- Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio
- Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
- Share this episode with a friend
- Subscribe, like, and comment on YouTube
- Join our newsletter → www.leadwithjim.com
🎙️ Got a question? Leave a voice message at leadwithjim.com/ask
Thanks for listening!
Remember: Leading on purpose, not on empty.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Have you ever found it astruggle that when you got off work,
when you were done yourmeetings, when you were done, all
the things that you couldn'trest, that you found other things
to do, that you struggle toactually take a moment for yourself
because taking a moment felt unsafe?
Well, that's what we're goingto dive into today because I was
(00:22):
at that place and it cost memy health.
So I want to help you so itdoesn't cost you yours.
Welcome to Online Business forChristian Creatives, the show that
helps you build a businessthat honors God, fuels your creativity,
and actually pays the bills.
I'm your host, Jim Burgoon,leadership coach, Faith first, entrepreneur,
(00:45):
and a guy who's made justabout every mistake so you.
Don'T have to let's get into it.
As we dive into this episodetoday, I want us like, basically
go over an acronym for you,because acronyms are rememberable.
So the acronym we're talkingabout is rest.
So we're going to go into R.We're going to recognize those red
(01:07):
flags, E, we're going toevaluate our energy gaps, S, Sabbath,
Take Sabbath, micro rest.
And T, we're going to team upwith accountability.
Because here's the thing, youcan't do life alone, nor can you
trust yourself to rest whenyou're a higher achiever.
And by the end of thisepisode, we, we're going to really
unpack what rest is.
(01:29):
We're going to sit there andhelp you understand how to rest or
at least look for the warningsigns of burnout and how to respond
correctly.
And then maybe, just maybe,you'll get some revelation that you
need to rest and that you'regoing to do it.
Why?
Because rest means I'mprioritizing me so that I can help
(01:49):
more people.
So let's dive into the firstring, recognizing red flags.
And this is going to be signsthat you're leading on empty.
Like for the first starters,the first sign, chronic fatigue.
Now, chronic fatigue really iswhen you rest or when you sleep.
It's not restorative.
You're always tired, you'realways empty.
(02:09):
You have brain fog.
This is going to be a majorsign that you're not taking care
of yourself.
And that burnout is probablyat some point imminent.
But because like I rememberwhen I was first starting down that
journey, I was pastoring a church.
I was a new church pastor.
I was a church planner.
I was teaching middle school,like sixth, sixth, seventh grade.
(02:30):
Ish.
And I, my wife was having herhealth conditions and all of these
things And I thought it wasthe bright idea to start a blog at
the time.
And I called it Soul Care forthe Misfits.
So I was doing all of thisstuff, and what I wasn't doing was
resting because everybodyneeded me, everybody wanted something
from me.
And I had to make sure that Iwas helpful and impactful because
(02:52):
my growing up, because of thetrauma I had been through, has been.
It made me believe that if Iwasn't helpful, then I wasn't worthy.
So what I did was I dove intothis, and then after doing this for
a long period of time, I foundthat I was getting tireder and tireder.
And it wasn't.
Every time I would sleep,there was nothing coming back to
me.
I was not rejuvenated.
(03:13):
I was not restored.
And eventually, what led.
It started as a traumaresponse of just always helping people,
people pleasing.
Ended up in insomnia andultimately burnt out.
And I lost my health.
And now, 15 years later afterthat, I'm trying to recover my health,
but my body is in a place ofautoimmune disease and all sorts
of stuff.
So we've got to look for red flags.
(03:34):
And one of the major red flagsis the chronic fatigue.
Another red flag is feeling disconnected.
Not only just emotionally, butyou're also going to feel disconnected
relationally and sospiritually, because when you can't
rest, you have nothing to pour out.
When you are not pouring intoyourself, you are disconnected from
(03:54):
everything.
You feel empty.
You feel like prayer is hollow.
Let's just call it what it is,guys, because here's what I know.
You're never going to overcomethe things that are holding you back
until you recognize and admitwhat's holding you back.
So if that be the case, we gotto understand that prayer feeling
hollow is not a sign of yourspiritual demise, but what it oftentimes
(04:18):
is, is a sign of yourspiritual emptiness because you've
not rested.
And the Bible is very clear ona command, we are called to rest
and to work from a place of rest.
And so if you're feelingdisconnected, it's not because there's
something inherently wrongwith you.
It's the decisions that youand I have made that have caused
(04:38):
us to basically run on empty.
It's like a car that and youand you.
You probably been in thisplace, because I.
There's times where my car ison E and I'm like, I can go a little
bit longer.
It says 15 miles, and I'll tryto push it 15 miles.
And then you realize at mile13, that the meter was wrong and
it ran out of gas and came toa stop.
Now think of our bodies like that.
(05:00):
Our bodies are constantlyrunning on E. And at some point it
will stop.
And in the midst of trying tostop, you feel disconnected, you
feel hollow.
The Bible just feels heavy.
Relationships just feel like a burden.
And then you, you as a highachiever, because I spent a long
time as a higher achieverdoing this.
We feel as if we're somehowdeficient or we're problematic because
(05:25):
we can't do the things that weonce did.
That's a red flag.
And your body is telling youslow it down, get rejuvenated or
the body will shut it down andcause you to rest.
And I promise you, being onthe other side of that problematic
situation is that you want tomake the intentional decision to
rest before your body shutsyou down to make you rest.
(05:47):
The two are not the same.
And if you're on the otherend, where I was, where my body shut
down to make me rest, it takesyears and years to recover.
And you're never going to beback at the level you once were.
But if you're intentional andyou say I'm going to rest, you can
maintain the level that you'recurrently at and maybe even increase
level.
But you've got to listen tothose red flags.
(06:07):
You've got to listen to theplaces that are screaming, you know,
like help, help.
This is not a car check enginethat you saw come on, the light come
on and you just ignore, don'tignore those red flags and make sure
you're evaluating them.
And the second things is thatwe keep pushing, right?
This is where E comes in.
This is where we're going toevaluate energy gaps because we keep
(06:27):
getting in these loops of highdemand, low recovery, high demand,
low recovery.
Because every time there's ademand on my system, it's a cortisol
spike.
Every time there's something Ineed to do, it's a cortisol spike.
And without true rest, thedemand feels harder because your,
your body's hormones and yourbody's way of adapting has never
got the reset it needed inorder to start over at a place of
(06:51):
baseline.
Because if you're always in adeficiency and you're constantly
spiking your cortisol, you'reconstantly depleting your dopamine,
you're constantly in thisplace of people pleasing perfectionism
and you don't know how to no,that'll be a whole other episode
is the fact that no is one ofthe Most spiritual things you can
do and one of the most selfcare things is learning to say no.
(07:11):
But we're going to digressfrom that.
But we're gonna, we spikecortisol because we keep getting
in these places where peopleare demanding more of us.
And we're saying yes becausewe don't know how to say no.
And we, we mistake adrenalinerushes for energy.
We mistake guilt for purposebecause we live in these, these places
of, or these cycles of people pleasing.
(07:32):
We live in these cycles ofperfectionism because of base trauma
that we had when we weregrowing up.
That we get adrenaline rushes.
And if you get the adrenalinerushes and the cortisol spikes and
then you're going, going likeyeah, this is great.
And then you realize it wasn'ttrue energy from rest, it was these
spikes.
So you just as high as you gotthe energy, you crash just as hard.
(07:54):
And then there's the guilt for purpose.
And I think this is going tobe even another conversation at some
point you and I have to havebecause we are guilty, whether it
be our traumatic past or evenourselves that we need to perform.
We need to be high, we need tobe perfectionist, that we need these
things, that we mistake it for purpose.
And God gives us a purpose tosay this is what your assignment
(08:16):
is on your life.
But here's the deal.
We, we feel so much of aburden, we feel so responsible, we,
that we take theresponsibility out of God's hands
to try to do it on ourselves.
And then all we do is we'regetting guilty, we're killing ourselves
because we're not recovering.
And then when we can'tperform, we're somehow feeling like
we're failing God.
(08:37):
We're somehow feeling likewe're missing our purpose.
And then we go back to the rest.
Now we're disconnected fromall of those feelings.
We're numb.
And what started out as Godgiven purpose is now just this thing
that we torture ourselves with.
So we've got to constantlyevaluate energy gaps.
And I will say for men, themen who listen to the show, we suck
(08:58):
at evaluating our energy gaps.
Women are a whole lot more intuned and better at this.
But men, we suck at this.
We ignore it.
We have to become adept inemotional fitness.
Now it's emotionalintelligence, but I call it emotional
fitness because I want to bein an active state of fitness as
opposed to being anintelligence and knowing about it.
So in emotional fitness we'vegot to be hyper aware of how we feel,
(09:20):
where our energy depletionsare, where our Vampires, you know,
the things that suck ourenergy are.
And then we have to be able toevaluate that so that we can do something
about it.
So I would suggest if you'rein this place to do what's called
an energy audit.
And this is, is where you'regonna, you know, you're gonna look
at the demands of last week,look at your calendar, look at everything
(09:40):
you did on top of yourcalendar that you didn't place on
your calendar, and then giveit like a 1 to 10.
One being it didn't reallywasn't a demand on your energy 10,
meaning this was the highestenergy output that I can have.
And then start calculatingafter every time you did this, how
much rest did you take to recover?
(10:00):
And I'm gonna promise you, andI'm gonna say true rest, because
sometimes we do things and wecall it rest.
No, we're talking true rest,what fills you up.
And I want you to notice the gaps.
And you're going to besurprised because the gaps are going
to be big, but they're notgoing to be overwhelming to the point
where it's, I'm going to losemyself in it.
We can do things because oncewe know about it, we can do something
(10:23):
about it.
If we don't know, we can'tchange, and if we can't change, we
stay in these broken cycles.
So you're a cycle breaker.
So let's break these cycles.
So we're gonna, we're gonnarest, right?
We're gonna look for red flags.
We're going to evaluate thesethings, the energy gaps, which really
kind of comes back intounderstanding, like even.
And then we're going to moveinto which is the S, which is Sabbath
(10:44):
micro sections, micro rest.
But you know, scripturally,Jesus said this, he said, he said,
come away and rest a while, right?
Mark 6:31.
And this was the bridge version.
And, and one thing that werealize as we talk about the Sabbath
micro rest and we talk aboutevaluation of energy, is that Jesus
never apologized for takingrest or respites or breaks.
(11:07):
You shouldn't either.
I don't understand.
No, I do understand because wehave to be trauma informed as leaders,
not only just for those thatwe lead, but for ourselves.
And if we're trauma informed,we understand that we overly apologize
for things that we think are aburden and we don't want to be a
burden, so we over apologizefor it.
But guess what?
Taking moments of rest is moreabout self care than it is anything
(11:30):
else.
So don't apologize for thingsthat are going to make you healthier
or better.
Don't apologize for thingsthat are going to hold yourself accountable.
Even if somebody's response isnegative or emotional, that's on
them, not you.
Because I'm going to make sureI'm the healthiest I can be for the
people God's called me to.
Not the unhealthiest.
For the people that are justenergy suckers or energy vampires
(11:52):
or these people that keepwanting more and more but are never
satisfied.
We're going to say no to those guys.
And we're not going toapologize for actually taking rest,
because rest is part of our calling.
God taught on the seventh daysaid to rest.
Jesus in the scripture said,come all you who are heavy burdened,
I will give you rest.
Right?
These are not suggestions, butbasically invitations that say, yeah,
(12:15):
if you're going to do the lifein Christ and the life of God that
really is in your heart, yourvision, that then you need these
things in order to fuel saidheart and vision.
So take the rest and don't beapologetic about it.
Which brings us into the next thing.
We've got to take micro rest.
Now.
There are people that werelike, I'm taking all of Saturday
off and that's perfectly fine.
(12:36):
If you want to do it all in aday, then you do all in a day.
But you have to take microSabbaths, micro rest.
And it's like, here's thething, there's a difference.
There are people that are, arein a healthy state that can do that.
They'll take 45 minutes orthey'll take all we.
They're not 45 minutes.
They'll take Saturday and Sunday.
They don't do any work.
They work Monday through Friday.
They're good.
But me being on the other endof chronic illness with autoimmune
(12:58):
and just different things likethat, I have to do microburst.
My Sabbath is not a whole daybecause some days I have a flare
and I miss days.
Like there's times where Ican't create a podcast or create.
Can't create content becausemy flare is so intense.
It's just crippling at times.
So what I need to do is a lotof times, because I'm going to monitor
(13:18):
my energy is I'm going to takemicro rest for every one to two hours
I'm working, I'm going to tryto take 30, 45 minutes of rest.
Whether that sometimes is justsitting and watching an anime because
I love anime, or we play avideo game because that's something
I enjoy doing.
And if you're somebody whoplays video games, let me know what
your favorite, your favoritevideo game is.
(13:39):
Whether you hit me in theemail or hit me in the comments.
If you're watching this on YouTube.
What's your favorite video game?
Because I'm a gamer, lovegaming and it really fills me up.
Or I'll play like puzzles ordifferent things like that, you know,
because I'm trying to takemicro rest.
There was a time I never did.
There was a time I thought itwas stupid.
Then my body gave out on meand I realized what I called it stupid
wasn't was incrediblyimportant to the health and well
(14:01):
being of who I am.
So now I'm forced to take them.
And so I will do the one totwo hours and then I take my rest.
Because here's the thing andduring that rest time I'm going to
tell you like, here's a couplestrategies that you and I can get
better at is like breathing.
Breathing has been known toreally help reset cortisol, calm
stress, reset yourparasympathetic nervous system, all
(14:24):
of that stuff.
And I'm not just talking likethe regular breath in and out.
I'm talking like the actualintentional like box breathing and
all this other stuff.
There's so many different techniques.
My wife is amazing at this stuff.
I wish, or I'm actually hopingto get better and learn from her
and other people.
Because breathing is inherentto who we are.
We have to breathe to live, right?
(14:44):
But if we can be intentionalin certain types of breathing, it
actually can calm down our system.
So learn to breathe.
Number two, get up and move.
Walk, stretch, stretch overhead.
Get the body moving, get thebody stretching.
Make sure you go to the gym acouple times a week and then you
know, mind your energy drops.
You know, you're going to wantto make sure that in your Sabbath
(15:06):
time like that you understandwhere your energy drops are and your
energy spikes.
Work on the spikes, takebreaks at the drops so that you can
kind of balance that out.
And remember, micro sabbathsdon't have to be whole days.
Because as a high performer,you and I both know that a whole
day could be a wasted day.
Because we have a bad mindsetaround that.
(15:27):
Because we have to change ourmindset to say no.
A whole day could be justsharpening the ax for the rest of
the week.
Or what we can do is make surethat we're taking Sabbath times every
day.
Whether it be the 45 minutesafter 2 to 3 hours of work or just
taking a 90 minute break afteryou're done a project.
Make sure though, I will tellyou, make sure that there's no screens,
(15:48):
make sure that there's no worktalk like don't do anything that's
going to cause drainage from you.
Like if you are playing avideo game, obviously that is a screen.
But don't do anything that'sgoing to take more from you.
What you're going to focus onis do things that are going to push
more into you.
Maybe take a walk in npicture, maybe read whatever that
is.
Because we are going to makesure that we're prioritizing our
(16:09):
health, not others priorities.
So then we come into the lastthing which is the t, which is we're
going to team up foraccountability now from a.
We're going to form like atriad, you know, like a, like there's
a trinity.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
We're going to kind of modelthat because we want like a two peers
and maybe a mentor and coachin our life.
Because the peers are going tobe our, you know, the equivalent
(16:32):
us on the same level.
They're going to be peoplethat are going to be like, hey, you
need to rest, rest.
Make sure.
Are you taking rest?
You know, they're gonna, we'regonna hold each other accountable.
We're gonna be in community,we're gonna pray.
Hey, can I pray for you kindof thing.
Is there something you need?
How can I help you become more accountable?
And then you're going to needlike a mentor or a coach in your
life at some point.
Because the mentor coach isthe person who's going to come in
(16:54):
and say yo, you need to stopthis and you need to start doing
this because if you don't,this is where you're going to happen.
Now that is very valuablebecause it's basically circumcising
the flesh of the heart.
It's meaning there's going tobe a little pain from that coach
or mentor but ultimately it'sfor our benefit.
So we're going to need thattype of person in there.
And, and you know, you don'tneed to do this every day with the
(17:16):
coach.
You can do monthly orquarterly check ins with your peers.
You can do daily, you can doweekly, you can do monthly.
It's all about how you can setup with your friends.
And it's because you're goingto share energies because these are
reciprocal relationships.
Energy in, energy out.
I give you, you give me.
Now that's going to be anotherthing is as a high performer you
(17:36):
struggle with being able to Receive.
We're gonna have to work onthat because you need to learn to
receive as much as you give.
If not learn to receive morethan you give to balance it out,
because you often.
You ultimately give a lot.
So we want to make sure that's balanced.
But you're gonna do that.
You're gonna do prayer requests.
You're going to celebrate each other.
Because we perform best incommunity, we flourished in shared
(18:00):
vulnerability.
That's Galatians 6:2.
We really flourish in shared vulnerability.
So find people you can bevulnerable with.
Find people you can trust.
It's going to lift you up, andyou're going to be able to lift them
up.
So it's reciprocal.
So let's.
Let's take a moment as we.
As we kind of go down and endthis episode, because this was chock
full with a bunch of good stuff.
(18:21):
I want to give you a journalprompt, you know, and basically your
journal pop.
Go through the rest.
And I want you to notice yourred flags.
What have you ignored?
Where did you see the biggestenergy gap?
What.
Which rest step will youimplement first?
And then I want you to reallykind of pray through that.
I want you to think through that.
I want you to roll over on that.
(18:42):
And then when you're done allthat, I want you to send it to me
in an email.
Jim leadwithjim.com Just giveme a little synopsis of where you
are and how I can pray for youand support you.
And then with that being said,I think if we do this together, if
you and I work on who we are,our identity, we will find fulfillment
(19:04):
in purpose, not guiltingourselves to do something on purpose.
That's the big differencebetween the two, because God is really
in your clothes, in yourcorner, and I want you to understand
that.
And if you and I can reallyget the health side and work from
a place of rest, we're goingto see God's blessing in a bigger
way.
And with that all being said,I. I just want to pray for you and
(19:25):
just say, may, may the God ofpeace give you true rest.
And may he just.
May Holy Spirit just teach youhow to rest.
And what true rest actuallylooks like for you, not just what
it looks like for anybodyelse, but for you.
And that your soul is renewedand that.
That God refuels and reawakensyour calling, exposes the guilt and
(19:47):
reminds you that he is yoursavior, your leader, your guide,
your mentor, and the personwho's going to take you where you
need to be.
And so may God help you keep leading.
May God help you do it onpurpose and not from a place of emptiness.
And may all that happen in thename of Jesus.
As I appreciate you hangingout with me today on this episode,
(20:08):
look for a look for otherepisodes coming in.
And I've got a new thinghappening on my website which I'm
excited about.
I want to share with you.
It's www.leadwithjim.comforward/ask a s k. All of this will
be in the show notes, by theway, if you want to check those out.
And what what's going to be onthat page is the ability for you
to either send me a writtenmessage or a voice memo to really
(20:31):
kind of ask a question.
And if I use your message inany shape or form, I will shout you
out on the show and say, hey,so and so asked this question.
Let's kind of talk about it.
Just want to make sure thatlet you know that's a new thing coming
out on my website.
It's going to be availableshortly, but I'd love to hear your
voice.
I'd love to hear from you.
With all that being said, Ilook forward to you being with me
(20:54):
on the next conversation we have.
Have you ever found it astruggle that when you got off work,
when you were done yourmeetings, when you were done, all
the things that you couldn'trest, that you found other things
to do, that you struggle toactually take a moment for yourself
because taking a moment felt unsafe?
Well, that's what we're goingto dive into today because I was
(00:22):
at that place and it cost memy health.
So I want to help you so itdoesn't cost you yours.
Welcome to Online Business forChristian Creatives, the show that
helps you build a businessthat honors God, fuels your creativity,
and actually pays the bills.
I'm your host, Jim Burgoon,leadership coach, Faith first, entrepreneur,
(00:45):
and a guy who's made justabout every mistake so you.
Don'T have to let's get into it.
As we dive into this episodetoday, I want us like, basically
go over an acronym for you,because acronyms are rememberable.
So the acronym we're talkingabout is rest.
So we're going to go into R.We're going to recognize those red
(01:07):
flags, E, we're going toevaluate our energy gaps, S, Sabbath,
Take Sabbath, micro rest.
And T, we're going to team upwith accountability.
Because here's the thing, youcan't do life alone, nor can you
trust yourself to rest whenyou're a higher achiever.
And by the end of thisepisode, we, we're going to really
unpack what rest is.
(01:29):
We're going to sit there andhelp you understand how to rest or
at least look for the warningsigns of burnout and how to respond
correctly.
And then maybe, just maybe,you'll get some revelation that you
need to rest and that you'regoing to do it.
Why?
Because rest means I'mprioritizing me so that I can help
(01:49):
more people.
So let's dive into the firstring, recognizing red flags.
And this is going to be signsthat you're leading on empty.
Like for the first starters,the first sign, chronic fatigue.
Now, chronic fatigue really iswhen you rest or when you sleep.
It's not restorative.
You're always tired, you'realways empty.
(02:09):
You have brain fog.
This is going to be a majorsign that you're not taking care
of yourself.
And that burnout is probablyat some point imminent.
But because like I rememberwhen I was first starting down that
journey, I was pastoring a church.
I was a new church pastor.
I was a church planner.
I was teaching middle school,like sixth, sixth, seventh grade.
(02:30):
Ish.
And I, my wife was having herhealth conditions and all of these
things And I thought it wasthe bright idea to start a blog at
the time.
And I called it Soul Care forthe Misfits.
So I was doing all of thisstuff, and what I wasn't doing was
resting because everybodyneeded me, everybody wanted something
from me.
And I had to make sure that Iwas helpful and impactful because
(02:52):
my growing up, because of thetrauma I had been through, has been.
It made me believe that if Iwasn't helpful, then I wasn't worthy.
So what I did was I dove intothis, and then after doing this for
a long period of time, I foundthat I was getting tireder and tireder.
And it wasn't.
Every time I would sleep,there was nothing coming back to
me.
I was not rejuvenated.
(03:13):
I was not restored.
And eventually, what led.
It started as a traumaresponse of just always helping people,
people pleasing.
Ended up in insomnia andultimately burnt out.
And I lost my health.
And now, 15 years later afterthat, I'm trying to recover my health,
but my body is in a place ofautoimmune disease and all sorts
of stuff.
So we've got to look for red flags.
(03:34):
And one of the major red flagsis the chronic fatigue.
Another red flag is feeling disconnected.
Not only just emotionally, butyou're also going to feel disconnected
relationally and sospiritually, because when you can't
rest, you have nothing to pour out.
When you are not pouring intoyourself, you are disconnected from
(03:54):
everything.
You feel empty.
You feel like prayer is hollow.
Let's just call it what it is,guys, because here's what I know.
You're never going to overcomethe things that are holding you back
until you recognize and admitwhat's holding you back.
So if that be the case, we gotto understand that prayer feeling
hollow is not a sign of yourspiritual demise, but what it oftentimes
(04:18):
is, is a sign of yourspiritual emptiness because you've
not rested.
And the Bible is very clear ona command, we are called to rest
and to work from a place of rest.
And so if you're feelingdisconnected, it's not because there's
something inherently wrongwith you.
It's the decisions that youand I have made that have caused
(04:38):
us to basically run on empty.
It's like a car that and youand you.
You probably been in thisplace, because I.
There's times where my car ison E and I'm like, I can go a little
bit longer.
It says 15 miles, and I'll tryto push it 15 miles.
And then you realize at mile13, that the meter was wrong and
it ran out of gas and came toa stop.
Now think of our bodies like that.
(05:00):
Our bodies are constantlyrunning on E. And at some point it
will stop.
And in the midst of trying tostop, you feel disconnected, you
feel hollow.
The Bible just feels heavy.
Relationships just feel like a burden.
And then you, you as a highachiever, because I spent a long
time as a higher achieverdoing this.
We feel as if we're somehowdeficient or we're problematic because
(05:25):
we can't do the things that weonce did.
That's a red flag.
And your body is telling youslow it down, get rejuvenated or
the body will shut it down andcause you to rest.
And I promise you, being onthe other side of that problematic
situation is that you want tomake the intentional decision to
rest before your body shutsyou down to make you rest.
(05:47):
The two are not the same.
And if you're on the otherend, where I was, where my body shut
down to make me rest, it takesyears and years to recover.
And you're never going to beback at the level you once were.
But if you're intentional andyou say I'm going to rest, you can
maintain the level that you'recurrently at and maybe even increase
level.
But you've got to listen tothose red flags.
(06:07):
You've got to listen to theplaces that are screaming, you know,
like help, help.
This is not a car check enginethat you saw come on, the light come
on and you just ignore, don'tignore those red flags and make sure
you're evaluating them.
And the second things is thatwe keep pushing, right?
This is where E comes in.
This is where we're going toevaluate energy gaps because we keep
(06:27):
getting in these loops of highdemand, low recovery, high demand,
low recovery.
Because every time there's ademand on my system, it's a cortisol
spike.
Every time there's something Ineed to do, it's a cortisol spike.
And without true rest, thedemand feels harder because your,
your body's hormones and yourbody's way of adapting has never
got the reset it needed inorder to start over at a place of
(06:51):
baseline.
Because if you're always in adeficiency and you're constantly
spiking your cortisol, you'reconstantly depleting your dopamine,
you're constantly in thisplace of people pleasing perfectionism
and you don't know how to no,that'll be a whole other episode
is the fact that no is one ofthe Most spiritual things you can
do and one of the most selfcare things is learning to say no.
(07:11):
But we're going to digressfrom that.
But we're gonna, we spikecortisol because we keep getting
in these places where peopleare demanding more of us.
And we're saying yes becausewe don't know how to say no.
And we, we mistake adrenalinerushes for energy.
We mistake guilt for purposebecause we live in these, these places
of, or these cycles of people pleasing.
(07:32):
We live in these cycles ofperfectionism because of base trauma
that we had when we weregrowing up.
That we get adrenaline rushes.
And if you get the adrenalinerushes and the cortisol spikes and
then you're going, going likeyeah, this is great.
And then you realize it wasn'ttrue energy from rest, it was these
spikes.
So you just as high as you gotthe energy, you crash just as hard.
(07:54):
And then there's the guilt for purpose.
And I think this is going tobe even another conversation at some
point you and I have to havebecause we are guilty, whether it
be our traumatic past or evenourselves that we need to perform.
We need to be high, we need tobe perfectionist, that we need these
things, that we mistake it for purpose.
And God gives us a purpose tosay this is what your assignment
(08:16):
is on your life.
But here's the deal.
We, we feel so much of aburden, we feel so responsible, we,
that we take theresponsibility out of God's hands
to try to do it on ourselves.
And then all we do is we'regetting guilty, we're killing ourselves
because we're not recovering.
And then when we can'tperform, we're somehow feeling like
we're failing God.
(08:37):
We're somehow feeling likewe're missing our purpose.
And then we go back to the rest.
Now we're disconnected fromall of those feelings.
We're numb.
And what started out as Godgiven purpose is now just this thing
that we torture ourselves with.
So we've got to constantlyevaluate energy gaps.
And I will say for men, themen who listen to the show, we suck
(08:58):
at evaluating our energy gaps.
Women are a whole lot more intuned and better at this.
But men, we suck at this.
We ignore it.
We have to become adept inemotional fitness.
Now it's emotionalintelligence, but I call it emotional
fitness because I want to bein an active state of fitness as
opposed to being anintelligence and knowing about it.
So in emotional fitness we'vegot to be hyper aware of how we feel,
(09:20):
where our energy depletionsare, where our Vampires, you know,
the things that suck ourenergy are.
And then we have to be able toevaluate that so that we can do something
about it.
So I would suggest if you'rein this place to do what's called
an energy audit.
And this is, is where you'regonna, you know, you're gonna look
at the demands of last week,look at your calendar, look at everything
(09:40):
you did on top of yourcalendar that you didn't place on
your calendar, and then giveit like a 1 to 10.
One being it didn't reallywasn't a demand on your energy 10,
meaning this was the highestenergy output that I can have.
And then start calculatingafter every time you did this, how
much rest did you take to recover?
(10:00):
And I'm gonna promise you, andI'm gonna say true rest, because
sometimes we do things and wecall it rest.
No, we're talking true rest,what fills you up.
And I want you to notice the gaps.
And you're going to besurprised because the gaps are going
to be big, but they're notgoing to be overwhelming to the point
where it's, I'm going to losemyself in it.
We can do things because oncewe know about it, we can do something
(10:23):
about it.
If we don't know, we can'tchange, and if we can't change, we
stay in these broken cycles.
So you're a cycle breaker.
So let's break these cycles.
So we're gonna, we're gonnarest, right?
We're gonna look for red flags.
We're going to evaluate thesethings, the energy gaps, which really
kind of comes back intounderstanding, like even.
And then we're going to moveinto which is the S, which is Sabbath
(10:44):
micro sections, micro rest.
But you know, scripturally,Jesus said this, he said, he said,
come away and rest a while, right?
Mark 6:31.
And this was the bridge version.
And, and one thing that werealize as we talk about the Sabbath
micro rest and we talk aboutevaluation of energy, is that Jesus
never apologized for takingrest or respites or breaks.
(11:07):
You shouldn't either.
I don't understand.
No, I do understand because wehave to be trauma informed as leaders,
not only just for those thatwe lead, but for ourselves.
And if we're trauma informed,we understand that we overly apologize
for things that we think are aburden and we don't want to be a
burden, so we over apologizefor it.
But guess what?
Taking moments of rest is moreabout self care than it is anything
(11:30):
else.
So don't apologize for thingsthat are going to make you healthier
or better.
Don't apologize for thingsthat are going to hold yourself accountable.
Even if somebody's response isnegative or emotional, that's on
them, not you.
Because I'm going to make sureI'm the healthiest I can be for the
people God's called me to.
Not the unhealthiest.
For the people that are justenergy suckers or energy vampires
(11:52):
or these people that keepwanting more and more but are never
satisfied.
We're going to say no to those guys.
And we're not going toapologize for actually taking rest,
because rest is part of our calling.
God taught on the seventh daysaid to rest.
Jesus in the scripture said,come all you who are heavy burdened,
I will give you rest.
Right?
These are not suggestions, butbasically invitations that say, yeah,
(12:15):
if you're going to do the lifein Christ and the life of God that
really is in your heart, yourvision, that then you need these
things in order to fuel saidheart and vision.
So take the rest and don't beapologetic about it.
Which brings us into the next thing.
We've got to take micro rest.
Now.
There are people that werelike, I'm taking all of Saturday
off and that's perfectly fine.
(12:36):
If you want to do it all in aday, then you do all in a day.
But you have to take microSabbaths, micro rest.
And it's like, here's thething, there's a difference.
There are people that are, arein a healthy state that can do that.
They'll take 45 minutes orthey'll take all we.
They're not 45 minutes.
They'll take Saturday and Sunday.
They don't do any work.
They work Monday through Friday.
They're good.
But me being on the other endof chronic illness with autoimmune
(12:58):
and just different things likethat, I have to do microburst.
My Sabbath is not a whole daybecause some days I have a flare
and I miss days.
Like there's times where Ican't create a podcast or create.
Can't create content becausemy flare is so intense.
It's just crippling at times.
So what I need to do is a lotof times, because I'm going to monitor
(13:18):
my energy is I'm going to takemicro rest for every one to two hours
I'm working, I'm going to tryto take 30, 45 minutes of rest.
Whether that sometimes is justsitting and watching an anime because
I love anime, or we play avideo game because that's something
I enjoy doing.
And if you're somebody whoplays video games, let me know what
your favorite, your favoritevideo game is.
(13:39):
Whether you hit me in theemail or hit me in the comments.
If you're watching this on YouTube.
What's your favorite video game?
Because I'm a gamer, lovegaming and it really fills me up.
Or I'll play like puzzles ordifferent things like that, you know,
because I'm trying to takemicro rest.
There was a time I never did.
There was a time I thought itwas stupid.
Then my body gave out on meand I realized what I called it stupid
wasn't was incrediblyimportant to the health and well
(14:01):
being of who I am.
So now I'm forced to take them.
And so I will do the one totwo hours and then I take my rest.
Because here's the thing andduring that rest time I'm going to
tell you like, here's a couplestrategies that you and I can get
better at is like breathing.
Breathing has been known toreally help reset cortisol, calm
stress, reset yourparasympathetic nervous system, all
(14:24):
of that stuff.
And I'm not just talking likethe regular breath in and out.
I'm talking like the actualintentional like box breathing and
all this other stuff.
There's so many different techniques.
My wife is amazing at this stuff.
I wish, or I'm actually hopingto get better and learn from her
and other people.
Because breathing is inherentto who we are.
We have to breathe to live, right?
(14:44):
But if we can be intentionalin certain types of breathing, it
actually can calm down our system.
So learn to breathe.
Number two, get up and move.
Walk, stretch, stretch overhead.
Get the body moving, get thebody stretching.
Make sure you go to the gym acouple times a week and then you
know, mind your energy drops.
You know, you're going to wantto make sure that in your Sabbath
(15:06):
time like that you understandwhere your energy drops are and your
energy spikes.
Work on the spikes, takebreaks at the drops so that you can
kind of balance that out.
And remember, micro sabbathsdon't have to be whole days.
Because as a high performer,you and I both know that a whole
day could be a wasted day.
Because we have a bad mindsetaround that.
(15:27):
Because we have to change ourmindset to say no.
A whole day could be justsharpening the ax for the rest of
the week.
Or what we can do is make surethat we're taking Sabbath times every
day.
Whether it be the 45 minutesafter 2 to 3 hours of work or just
taking a 90 minute break afteryou're done a project.
Make sure though, I will tellyou, make sure that there's no screens,
(15:48):
make sure that there's no worktalk like don't do anything that's
going to cause drainage from you.
Like if you are playing avideo game, obviously that is a screen.
But don't do anything that'sgoing to take more from you.
What you're going to focus onis do things that are going to push
more into you.
Maybe take a walk in npicture, maybe read whatever that
is.
Because we are going to makesure that we're prioritizing our
(16:09):
health, not others priorities.
So then we come into the lastthing which is the t, which is we're
going to team up foraccountability now from a.
We're going to form like atriad, you know, like a, like there's
a trinity.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
We're going to kind of modelthat because we want like a two peers
and maybe a mentor and coachin our life.
Because the peers are going tobe our, you know, the equivalent
(16:32):
us on the same level.
They're going to be peoplethat are going to be like, hey, you
need to rest, rest.
Make sure.
Are you taking rest?
You know, they're gonna, we'regonna hold each other accountable.
We're gonna be in community,we're gonna pray.
Hey, can I pray for you kindof thing.
Is there something you need?
How can I help you become more accountable?
And then you're going to needlike a mentor or a coach in your
life at some point.
Because the mentor coach isthe person who's going to come in
(16:54):
and say yo, you need to stopthis and you need to start doing
this because if you don't,this is where you're going to happen.
Now that is very valuablebecause it's basically circumcising
the flesh of the heart.
It's meaning there's going tobe a little pain from that coach
or mentor but ultimately it'sfor our benefit.
So we're going to need thattype of person in there.
And, and you know, you don'tneed to do this every day with the
(17:16):
coach.
You can do monthly orquarterly check ins with your peers.
You can do daily, you can doweekly, you can do monthly.
It's all about how you can setup with your friends.
And it's because you're goingto share energies because these are
reciprocal relationships.
Energy in, energy out.
I give you, you give me.
Now that's going to be anotherthing is as a high performer you
(17:36):
struggle with being able to Receive.
We're gonna have to work onthat because you need to learn to
receive as much as you give.
If not learn to receive morethan you give to balance it out,
because you often.
You ultimately give a lot.
So we want to make sure that's balanced.
But you're gonna do that.
You're gonna do prayer requests.
You're going to celebrate each other.
Because we perform best incommunity, we flourished in shared
(18:00):
vulnerability.
That's Galatians 6:2.
We really flourish in shared vulnerability.
So find people you can bevulnerable with.
Find people you can trust.
It's going to lift you up, andyou're going to be able to lift them
up.
So it's reciprocal.
So let's.
Let's take a moment as we.
As we kind of go down and endthis episode, because this was chock
full with a bunch of good stuff.
(18:21):
I want to give you a journalprompt, you know, and basically your
journal pop.
Go through the rest.
And I want you to notice yourred flags.
What have you ignored?
Where did you see the biggestenergy gap?
What.
Which rest step will youimplement first?
And then I want you to reallykind of pray through that.
I want you to think through that.
I want you to roll over on that.
(18:42):
And then when you're done allthat, I want you to send it to me
in an email.
Jim leadwithjim.com Just giveme a little synopsis of where you
are and how I can pray for youand support you.
And then with that being said,I think if we do this together, if
you and I work on who we are,our identity, we will find fulfillment
(19:04):
in purpose, not guiltingourselves to do something on purpose.
That's the big differencebetween the two, because God is really
in your clothes, in yourcorner, and I want you to understand
that.
And if you and I can reallyget the health side and work from
a place of rest, we're goingto see God's blessing in a bigger
way.
And with that all being said,I. I just want to pray for you and
(19:25):
just say, may, may the God ofpeace give you true rest.
And may he just.
May Holy Spirit just teach youhow to rest.
And what true rest actuallylooks like for you, not just what
it looks like for anybodyelse, but for you.
And that your soul is renewedand that.
That God refuels and reawakensyour calling, exposes the guilt and
(19:47):
reminds you that he is yoursavior, your leader, your guide,
your mentor, and the personwho's going to take you where you
need to be.
And so may God help you keep leading.
May God help you do it onpurpose and not from a place of emptiness.
And may all that happen in thename of Jesus.
As I appreciate you hangingout with me today on this episode,
(20:08):
look for a look for otherepisodes coming in.
And I've got a new thinghappening on my website which I'm
excited about.
I want to share with you.
It's www.leadwithjim.comforward/ask a s k. All of this will
be in the show notes, by theway, if you want to check those out.
And what what's going to be onthat page is the ability for you
to either send me a writtenmessage or a voice memo to really
(20:31):
kind of ask a question.
And if I use your message inany shape or form, I will shout you
out on the show and say, hey,so and so asked this question.
Let's kind of talk about it.
Just want to make sure thatlet you know that's a new thing coming
out on my website.
It's going to be availableshortly, but I'd love to hear your
voice.
I'd love to hear from you.
With all that being said, Ilook forward to you being with me
(20:54):
on the next conversation we have.
Host
Jim Burgoon
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