Full Show: Party Of One...

Wednesday July 17th, 2024

DK checks in from Portland, we answer your random questions, debate if a lady is being creepy, PK breaks into a hospital and more! 

The PK and DK Show 
A daily interactive comedy podcast. Prizes and funny business (our only business)! 

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Oh, I just rubbed my eyeballand I made some healthy turkey. I
don't know what it is. Youput the turkey in the pan. You
put in a bunch of peppers.I put in the hats pepper peblano.
Am I saying that right? Iput in some hallapanos. Oh, it
was so good. I made thatfour hours ago. By the way.

(00:21):
Anyway, fast forward to like,I don't know, fifteen seconds ago.
I got a hit record, andthen I rubbed my eyeball and I haven't.
I haven't washed my hands because I'ma dirty fucker dropping cursing early on
the show, and here I am. I got my eye feels like it's
a straight lava. I have lava. I call me Iceland because there's a

(00:41):
volcano and it's on the left sideof my face. I'm actually recording this
with one eye open. I gottears on my left side one. I'm
a Pirate's what I am right now. I'm a pirate. Anyway, I
want to just jump on right beforethe show to let y'all know apologies for
we haven't done the live show inlike two three weeks now, just because
a bunch of stuff has been goingdown you're gonna hear all about that.

(01:03):
Denise checks in. This is aparty of one. Oh, and the
real reason I'm recording this is tolet you know that I tried something new
with a wireless mic that sucked.So the first like thirty seconds of the
show not the best quality, andthen I jump on this microphone, so
things sort of work themselves out.Anyway, enjoy the show big thanks to
the peak n DK plus people,no commercials for you for the rest some

(01:26):
commercials apologies, and the show startsnext. It's DK and d Chef,
your average everyday cup a bighting makeupon YouTube. Welcome to our dysfunctional lot
of Feld. Say, let's lookat the chat. Say he's talking about

(02:00):
mass shit real quick. Oh,Denise's in the chest. Nice to see
Denise being somewhere obviously here, butDenise, I will check in with her
coming up in a few minutes.Ace my dude, I don't know if
this mike actually really works pretty goodor not figured out? You know,
a little new start to the show. Why not? Plus if I sit

(02:22):
down, Uh, this probably wouldbe better anyway, because I gotta call
her in a few minutes before shegoes crazy. She did say she had
some wine, so we're gonna we'regonna, you know, get to that
here in just a second. Ididn't have the wine Wednesday song, so
I should I said, get thatgoing, oh man, and I had.
I asked a few minutes ago forsome random questions. You you guys,
this is not what I meant.The questions that you all sent in

(02:43):
for tonight's show not what I hadin mind. I should have been a
little more specific to what I wasactually asking about. But I'm gonna get
to some of those questions coming uphere. Uh in just a second.
I do have an awesome instant voicenote. And by the way, you
can leave me your real time instantvoice notes online at pk DK. By
now everybody knows how that works,and so do that. And again throughout

(03:05):
the show we'll get to him,or I'll get to him live as they
come in. But this one fromLeroy came in yesterday and it is awesome.
I want to play for you rightnow here we go. What's up,
PK and DK. It's Leroy here. Something happened today that made me
think of you. Over the weekend, I was in Grants Pass and we
went to the Abby's legendarys pizza,and we did not have enough room in

(03:30):
the refrigerator, so it stayed outall night. It also stayed in my
truck for four and a half hoursyesterday in the hot sun, and I
ate it today for lunch. Whoagreeing with PK pizza does not spoil?
Yeah, love you guys. Rightback at you, my dude, and
again, leave us your instant voicenotes throughout the show live or whatever the

(03:51):
hell you want to You can leavethem, you know, playing next week
or whatever. Let me call itDenise, And I do want to address
the pizza thing, because yeah,Jerry was the one that taught me the
uh did you hear voice? Nightvoice? Oh yeah, can you hear
me? Okay, you're a littleloud, but yeah, there you are.
Oh sorry, I'm right here.How you feeling? Did that?
Did the wireless mike work at all? Or not? Really? I found

(04:11):
it in It looks really cute onyou, but no, it was in
and out. No, we needa practice. You need to practice a
little bit. When I returned takeout time for pride, and I don't
practice, clearly time for practice fifteenminutes late. No, I didn't,
did I yeah, ship I did. Oh that's on me sure a little

(04:34):
late. I think that the hurricanethat we had, it really messed up
some of my stuff. So Iwas trying to like get some of the
levels right and uh, you know, but not right. Just uh okay,
I know was ten days ago,but I just got back. Are
we going to talk about where you'reat right now or not? Yeah?
We can, okay, all right, because I got some I got some

(04:56):
crazy stories to go with that,but I didn't know what you wanted to
bring up and what you didn't.How are things going? Are they going
good? They're fine, better todaythan yesterday, and we'll continue to get
better, which is a great thing. I had a family emergency, which
is why I am not there tonight. Obviously Piko's we're married, but I
did have to fly home for anemergency situation. And I'm in Oregon.

(05:19):
When I fly home, so manyhomes, I guess, but Oregon home
in and I will return to Houstonon Friday. Yeah. It's been you
know the last couple of years whenwe've gone to Oregon. We came back
and then we find ourselves going backright after the trip. It's like it's
weird how that stuff works out,you know. But yeah, you picked
me up at the airp Oh mygod. Yeah, I didn't put that
on my list. Let me putthat on my notes on if you call

(05:42):
me and saying one more time,we're going to have a huge fight on
Friday. What are you talking about? You? Okay? Can I make
my case? I'd like to makemy case. I think this needs to
be shelved until next Wednesday. Bothcan have and then maybe we can have
a judge sitting with us and saywho is right who's draw? I think
it's a great point counterpoint. Allright, I'll just you know, when

(06:02):
we hang up tonight, then I'llbring it up then. But uh,
I'll do my best not to callyou in sae. Sure, okay,
I just said bringing up when I'min person next week. You can't really
hang up on that. You bringit up. You don't know what you're
getting into. I don't know whatyou're doing while I'm away. I caught
you with that Papa John's FISA.Oh yeah, how'd you catch me?

(06:23):
So let me set this up soI'm gonna crack my wine. Yeah,
I was gonna say, as youdo that, I want to say hello
to everybody, and uh, becauseI was gonna do the wireless mic thing
tonight, which apparently doesn't work.My drink is on the other side of
the room, so I'll be rightback. Hang on, Okay, I
can hold down the fort I heardthat you said you didn't have your wine
Wednesday song, so I can doa little wine tune for you. It's

(06:46):
been three weeks and we've missed you, but we're back baby, So wine
Wednesday. The f are you doing? Is that? What's happening? There?
Were you singing? Is that what'shappening? Yeah? I have not
had a glass of wine yet.Maybe I should try again after Yeh.
By the way, Uh, didyou see how I posted a little while
ago and I'm like, hey,send me your random questions for tonight and

(07:06):
uh, you know I'll address them. No, No, I didn't.
I put it and uh I putit in the discord and uh sent out
a tweet and man, I reallykind of I should have been. I
think our people definitely take things alittle too literally, sometimes a little too
you know. Uh, maybe theyjust want real answer and maybe is it

(07:29):
just for you, like once wehang up, you're answering these questions.
No, I guess we can bothdo. I was just like, hey,
if you have a random question,send it in and uh and I'll
answer it tonight. And uh,well, I think it's better for you.
It should be a one man show. Let's just check it with me
for ten minutes. And I wantto see your role, how you handle
it all by yourself. I'm notgoing to handle it good by myself.
That's why I've always had uh youknow, people that are worse around me,

(07:49):
so it elevates me and people thinkthat I have talent. I'm saying
that all of Atlanta, I wasworse than you. Ten years of our
podcast, I've been worse than you. If I'm by myself, people will
see, people will see that Ioffer nothing, that I offer nothing.
Okay, that's okay, stop itbecause there's people that are maybe possibly tuning

(08:11):
into you and maybe not say youdon't offer anything. Let me, can
I toss this one that came infrom Brenda in Portland? This one?
Uh yeah, if your belly buttonwas a vending machine, what would you
dispense? Oh God, would youdispense? You see what I'm saying when

(08:31):
I said, we will answer whateverthat's not exactly what, but we'll go
with it. Yeah, let's gowith it. What do I eat the
most of my belly button will dispenselike peanut butter, peanut butter, A
lot of peanut butter. Yeah,yeah, yeah, so yeah, just
a little squeeze. How comes somepepe uh lent? I guess, I

(08:52):
mean I think that that's the goto disappointment. That's what my dispense.
Disappointment. Well, I thought itwas something that you're eating yourself. Well,
I guess right, we could gowith eating. What have I been
eating? I haven't. No,I got back on I got back on
my shot. So uh okay,because I hadn't because you know, I'm
doing the fat shot. Everybody everybody, well our our people know. But

(09:15):
they were out, No, theyweren't out. We had to switch to
express scripts, which is something wherethey send it to you in the mail,
which is really weird. Uh.So we have a new insurance plan
and then they do like a threemonth So I think, I mean,
we haven't had insurance that has hadthis before, but I think it might
be more common than we think.Yeah, they say not a three month
supply. But it took like whatthree weeks to get you know, and

(09:37):
I'm not supposed to be off ofit because then you got to wing yourself
off or or back on or whatever. I just said, screw it.
I just jet myself and I jabbedmyself because I was like, man,
I should read more about should Ido a smaller dose to get my body
back into things like now that I'vebeen off for three weeks. So I
talked to the doctor like what doI do you know? But then I

(09:58):
ordered Papa John's, which you caughtme, and I want to find out
how you caught me here In justa second, I got the Papa John's,
I had like a slice disappointment inmyself. Like an hour later,
I had another slice, cried somemore. About an hour later I had
a third slice, and I said, this is it. It's time.
I ain't got time for the doctor. I don't have time for nothing else.

(10:18):
I just jabbed myself and I haven'teaten sense through the rest of the
pizza away round of applause for myself. So I'm back, baby, I'm
back to, you know, beingin a exic PK. But say,
starving yourself, that's not how todo it. Did nobody ever listen to
what anything health wise? PK says, Yes, you're like the most unhealthy

(10:41):
almost fit man. I don't thinkanybody turned the show on because they wanted
to get fitness advice or health advicefrom me. I am the people's example
of what not to. The onlything I was thinking about this, The
only thing in my life that I'vedone, right is you. Oh that's
it and that's all. But let'sget back to how you found me.

(11:01):
So you've been snooping on the cameras. You had to have, right,
Yeah, I was just curious aboutthe weather. And then I'm like,
ha, what's this about? Ithas like the blue what a lie caught?
It caught Piquet. What's Pik doing? He clearly's taken Teddy out or
he's just collecting his Papa John's pizza. Listen, liar, So what you're
saying is you just happened to randomlyturn the cameras on to look at the

(11:24):
weather. And that's exactly when thepizza, When the pizza came, Is
that what you're saying. And bythe way, the pizza, the pizza
came and it was nighttime, itwas dark outside, so you were checking
the weather just like I checked,just like I checked it today, and
you told me it wasn't going tobe like stormy. Oh sorry, can
you hear that? Hear that?Sorry? What is that? You are

(11:48):
you your parents house? Where areyou at? I am okay? Ah?
What were you saying just like that? Oh No, I didn't say
that the weather wasn't gonna be badtoday, I said, I didn't check.
Big difference. Plus, we justhad a hurricane. What's the what's
the odds that we're gonna have likesomething else bad happening? I mean for
everybody. I mean it's not justlike the Houston area, but everyone like

(12:11):
Midwest, even like our buddies upin Chicago, like just horrendous storms.
And then I saw I wanted tocheck in on like Tom because like wildfires
outside of Medford's already it's so earlyin the summer to have all of this
crazy shenanigans go on. Just makingsure that all of our people are safe.
I saw it wasn't where Tom is. Tom is in the chat?

(12:31):
Tom, how are the fires downthere? Throw that in the chat?
But as I was flying out ofPortland back to Houston, there was there
was a two wildfires on the otherside of Mountain Hood, like in the
desert area. I don't know whatthat part of Oregon is. On the
other side, it's not benned.It's just it's the it's the ship side
of Oregon, like Pendleton. Maybe, I don't know that's it's like where

(12:52):
the desert is eastern the eastern side. People go there, never been there,
you just lie over. Anyway,there was a couple of fires and
from the plane, the thing thatreally struck me was and I think I
got some video on the red camerabecause I pulled I pulled the camera out
the The lady next to me waslike she must have thought I was about
to hijack the plane because the camerasit's a pretty big camera, right,

(13:13):
and I'm just sitting next to uh, you know, like an older lady
and like an older guy, andI'm like, screw it, like yeah,
pull it out, visor up,like I'm trying to hold it steady
to get the mountain Hood shot.But behind mount Hood on the other side
there was like two wildfires, andagain what struck me was just like how
far like the smoke reaches and likeexpands out and how like for Miles and

(13:37):
Miles it's insane. But I knowthat wasn't there? Yeah, yeah,
yeah, but Tom mill is itgoing here? Here's the thing, PK.
We have not been on on aWednesday night for the last three weeks,
so there's been so many things tocover, and I think we just
jumped into everything like we have been. Yeah, m I a for three

(13:58):
weeks. So maybe start from thebeginning, just like a really quick snippet,
like fourth of July, how wasthat? And then the next thing,
we flew to Oregon and then likethen I ditched, Pequane came back
to Houston and he stayed behind andhung out with extra work Tony and did
two Timbers games, not one,but two Portland Timbers game he met.
It's kind of awesome. People Idid give that worked your way into more

(14:20):
potential jobs, which has been amazing. You helped a friend move, which
you said you never do, butnot only did you fly to Oregon,
you helped your buddy move, andyou stayed by yourself homeless. Someone else
is home for four days the lastpart of everything. So we've had a
crazy like it's crazy. The fourthof July. Stuff I'll put on hold

(14:43):
because I feel like, because I'mstill working on probably gets the video that
we'll have next year, got it, you know? Yes, yeah,
But I'm saying by the time wedo the next show, I'll have some
of the video I can play forpeople, but U But also we covered
that on the drive to the airport, that little quick fifteen minute show that
dropped. I was a little tipsy, I forgot, but yeah you were

(15:07):
because then you had an airport beer, which is why it's not a hey
oh yeah, oh yeah. Theother thing about your parents is the car
situation. Let me write this down. We'll circle back to that. Anyway,
So fourth happened. I went outthere. I was supposed to do
one Timbers game and then and also, uh, typically we spend the fourth

(15:28):
in Oregon. That didn't really workout for some other reasons. I don't
want to get into other people's business, but uh, it just it was
really just a coincidence that Tony hadan availability for me to help out doing
the Timbers game around the fourth ofJuly. Otherwise we would have a really
came So I flew down did thatgame, and then it ended up working
out to where I stayed a weekso I could do another game, because

(15:52):
for me at this point, I'mjust trying to learn something, a new
skill. When you're like forty six, trying to get into a trying to
learn and get into a whole differentprofession, it's not easy. Well,
I will say you've been like inradio. I'm not going to aid you,
but you just dropped your age.But it's not thirty years. So
something that you've known and loved andenjoyed for thirty years and then just like
got taken away. That's how Iam going to say it. But literally,

(16:15):
like you know, just taken away. And then we're trying to do
something new. But then you reallygot to get like a you know,
an additional big boy job to paythe rest of the bills. Like it's
not easy to just strop back in. And your mind is so creative and
unique and how you think of thingsthat it's just I don't know, I
love what you're doing, and Iwas like all in for you to stay,

(16:37):
and just you're so creative and you'reso excited and you're so just giddy
to get in there. I don'tknow how else to explain it. But
and you're so talented, Like peoplejust love you and want your energy around
them even though you're old. Yeahyou're like that new blood. Thank you
for all the compliments, But thenI don't know how to feel about all

(16:57):
that now. So and it endedup really working out to our every All
the pieces kind of fell into cases. It was one thing about like,
originally I did have the option ofstaying for the second game, but it
just didn't make sense because of everythingDenise said. I got to find a
big boy job and and everything else, right, so I can't just kind

(17:18):
of hang out and party. AsDenise came back to Houston to work just
so I could work another one aweek later, plus addition to like hotels
and everything else, it just didn'tmake sense. However, after the first
game, Tony was like, hey, listen, I'm moving homes. So
my old house is just sitting thereempty, you know, because he had

(17:40):
to do some some He still hadto move some boxes and paint some of
the walls and stuff, right soyou could stay there for free. So
when that happened, and then yourmom was nice enough to let me borrow
the car, which I didn't realizeyour parents listened to the show, I
was like, I'm not able toborrow it as I'm here right now,
but PK for a whole he wasable to do, like, what nonsense,
I don't know the car, Idon't know everything I've said on the

(18:04):
show about your family. And thenthey're like, I think you know what
your family is, Like, uh, I don't know. I mean,
like I figured I would get theopposite response, not the response that I
got, so they were very sweet, I love you. And so that
allowed me to stay in Tony's oldhome as the family and everybody was in
the new home, which was wasreally really awesome of him, right,

(18:26):
And I don't want to what I'mabout to say. I don't want that
to diminice, how respectful, appreciative, how I respect them, all the
above, right, But let mejust tell you it was the weirdest thing
ever, the weirdest because it's notlike a tiny home, right, because
Tony has like, I don't know, fifty some kids, so it's like
a five six bedroom. It's likea mini mansion, so I could pick

(18:49):
the different rooms to sleep and butthe wal umpty all empty, so it's
kind of like, oh, howcool is this? But also sat at
the same time, right, andthen Tony was nice to give me an
air mattress, and I don't know, you know who's gonna really make a
lot of money is the person thatcan figure out how to make an air
mattress that never leaks, because Ifeel like in my every single air mattress
I've ever slept in, I've alwayshad to wake up. Maybe it's a

(19:12):
weight thing, but I've always hadto wake up and like pump it up,
like every two hours, I haveto pump it up. It only
holds two hundred pounds. You're almostthere, buddy. But it was again
I'm saying all that, like,uh, you know, it's the fact
that he was, that he wasgenerous enough to let me. You know,
that was you know. So,so I worked the second thing and

(19:32):
then yeah, so did that flewback. I thought I was gonna hang
out with I was excited to seeyou. I know, I'm forgetting here.
God, yeah, you're forgetting Barrel. Which, like, so we
had one of my coworkers she housedthat, and then I think we did
talk about it and then how totake Teddy to the hotel. And then

(19:53):
like I came back on Wednesday andTeddy was like at the house and she
had gone home or whatever, andit just once again, like after the
tornado or drat show whatever hits andthen it's like again, like six weeks
later, all of the tree lumpsare down and power is out, and
the fridge is smelling and the freezerlike you had to throw out everything.

(20:14):
Like again, it's just I wantedto ask because you sent me a link
about FEMA and some other crap.And then I'm like and then I called
our insurance and then they told meI didn't have insurance, and I said,
I'm pretty sure because I paid insurance, and then they were like no,
So then they told me to calla different number. The different numbers
said no, I wouldn't be withus, he'd be with them. I'm

(20:37):
like, yo, you've got tofigure this out. So, like three
people on the phone all the stuff. We finally found our home insurance,
right and at that point I wasjust so exhausted from just trying to figure
out how to log into the homeinsurance. I was just like, I'm
going to take a nap, butbut my question, and I don't know
if Ace is still in there,maybe she can answer it or anybody else
in the Houston area. But Iwas gonna say, Terry Williams, Yeah,

(21:00):
just got power like a day ortwo ago. Crazy because during the
tornado we were without power for eightdays and now like the people that got
powered media kind of like foot flops, like we were without it for two
and a half days and then stillpeople are without it today. I thought
it was like four days still,but like, yeah, I talked to
oh hey, it was yeah,Well because I walked I was walking Teddy

(21:22):
and then some other girl was walkinga dog and I don't know, uh,
but she definitely knew me. AndI'm like I couldn't figure out if
it was one of the pool girlsthat you talk to all the time.
Uh did she had? What wasit a west eat? Was it the
dog that looks like it's on Teddy'sfood? It was, uh, a
half the half dog. It waslike bigger than Teddy, bigger than Teddy,

(21:45):
not a full blown dog. Ineed, I need a breed bigger
than like a giant a west.I don't know what all white, all
white the logo of Caesar and thatlittle white dog. Does it look like
that dog? You spelled westy weste W E S T I E okay,

(22:06):
on misspelled out. Hold on,let me say no, no,
it's all west here here. Letme put the Westy up on the screen
in case you're watching not listening tothe show. Uh no, it's bigger
than the Westy. So I don'tknow who it was. But she was
like, yeah, how aren't youhad the powers back on? I'm like,
yes, you're like as people didn'thave it. I was like,
I know, well, I washere. I wasn't here. Was it

(22:26):
white with tan like long legs?I don't know. Yeah, I have
no idea. It was a quickconversation really, and then that definitely was
yeah, I know who you're talkingabout. She's sweet, but she is
like the the one that manages theneighborhood Facebook. Oh well, he's very
nice lady, very very nice lady. You definitely know her. I'm really
bad at it. Yeah, whoI know who? I don't know.

(22:47):
My question though, and I don'tknow if somebody can help us is uh
so. So I did the FEMAthing and then it was like, because
you found a Facebook group that saidyou should no matter what, you should
put your info in because you lostall this money food for the second time,
if you're if you're eligible again,like there are certain zip codes definitely
eligible. This is my only job, and what I made today was thirteen

(23:10):
dollars on seventy four cents. I'meligible with anybody. I think the whole
city of sheusit ins eligible. Itprobably made more than thirteen dollars seventy four
cents though, So my my pointis big things to Peking Dicky plus subscribers.
My point is, so the FEMAthing I did the survey, we'll
see. I guess they reach out. But then I was like, should
I do our home insurance because that'swhy we pay insurance? And I read

(23:34):
Reddick was like, they'll replace thefood and stuff. But at the same
time, I don't want for ourinsurance to go up, you know what
I'm saying, and like end uppaying longer in the long long run,
long haul long run. One ofthose two maybe both, just because we're
trying to get like two three hundredbucks. You don't see what I'm saying.
It's like a make or break usif we don't. But I also

(23:55):
don't want to leave money on thetable because when we were in Atlanta and
Cranegate happened, like other people weregetting thousands of dollars. We didn't because
we did the right thing. I'mtired of doing the right thing. Don't
admit that. Oh, I meanup in the chat what's up? Eh?

(24:17):
Too skinny for that shirt. Retireit immediately, dude. Plus there's
a stain. Thank you, man, I appreciate you saying that. That's
thank you. Wearing a bed sheetover there, Okay, you know you
had to. I'm like, here'sa compliment coming in. That's my boy,
and then immediately immediately, oh mygod. O hey, I don't
think that there's there's much more tous except for we can talk about that.

(24:41):
We'll table it till next week.But here's a question that I think
that you can answer as well.That because again I said some of your
random questions and people really took thatand ran with it. But on the
phone for five minutes, not twentyone. But what else do you have
going on? You're gonna go talkto you a perruth. I mean,
yes, that is the reason I'mhere to spend time with family. Well

(25:02):
you're there till Thursday. You know, Like, you can't just leave me
hanging just by myself, dude,just play with my balls. No,
No, that you're right. II know we don't have that much time.
Yeah, anyway, Tiffany in Atlanta'srandom question and it goes along because
we were just talking about about dogsand pets and all that stuff. Uh,
if Teddy could suddenly talk, whatwould be the first thing that he

(25:23):
would say to you? Shut uptoo? Yeah, that's right. No,
I don't want to treat. No, I don't want to go outside.
Just leave me alone. Just shutup, crazy woman. I'm gonna
have to return his food because Iknow they'll be I got some more and

(25:45):
the only thing he's eating now isthat were chicken. Well he needs and
I want to I'm not getting I'mgetting into full conversations with a dog.
After remind myself that I'm a grownhuman talking to a dog, I'm like,
because it's not me, it isI think I think he's rubbed off
on me. I think that's what'sgoing on, because like I'll pick him
up, put them by the food, and I'll sit there and I'm like,
what, No, No, youhave to you know, and I

(26:07):
know he doesn't understand English, butI can't help myself. You have to
eat it, Teddy. It can'tgive you the chicken unless you don't eat
it. Gotta eat it, man, gotta eat it. What else happened?
What else happened? So so soagain, Like I got back and
the reason why we were able tochange our flights was because like the hurricane
had hit in the United Hattie thelittle thing like we could reschedule at no

(26:30):
additional charge. So I had togo back to work. And then I,
you know, p K and Italked about it, and we both
agreed it would be best for himto stay back to work the other Timbers
game. And then I went intoit way too cocky. I got some
like, you know, scary newsabout one of my family members. So
PK like really saved the day onFriday and spent time I get the emergency

(26:55):
room with them, and uh,I mean we again could go into more
details later. But then the wholethat Friday, the weekend, I was
panicking, and you know, Ihad a few people that called me and
had you know, one one ofour neighbors came over. Once she gets
off the phone, I'm going totell you the real story about the hospital.
It's hysterical. You getting so funyour own peace of mind, whatever
you decide don't call me out either. But are you guys going to be

(27:18):
sitting, you know, at inHouston and being worried and sad or are
you going to make the you know, an effort if you're able to to
be there and you know it alwaysworking out, I will say things are
a lot better. So I'm veryhappy that I was able to come in.
A huge shout out to my work. Everyone that's helping me while I'm
away has been like extremely thankful andcalling and checking in and stuff. So

(27:42):
yeah, you throw me for alittle bottle way if you call it at
the five or four point thirty inthe morning. Yeah, and you answered
the phone hello, Yeah, whyare you so energetic? Something is wrong?
Oh man, we'll do something withthat story when you when you come
back. No, do it tonight. As soon as we hung out the

(28:06):
subscriber only show. Uh, isthere anything else from our trip that we
didn't talk about that I'm trying to. I'm just trying to. Oh,
how about the fact that you mademe work out on a mini vacation.
It's not really a vacation, butmini vacation made me work out, which
I appreciated afterwards, not during theactual workout, but afterwards I thought it

(28:29):
was all right. You know,Yeah, they could have had a better
music selection. It was all Brittany. I loved it. Yeah, did
you drink your wine? By theway, I thought we were doing wine
Wednesday and then you're just you're yappingon the phone. I already completed it.
Yeah, I cheersed everyone. Isang my song. I did a
little toast. Oh, I didn'trealize you did all that. Yeah,
did you not get yours? Ican't. I also can't see you,

(28:51):
guys, so I'm just talking toyou. Well, let me describe the
scene. Elia says, neck down, I look like a grandmother in a
momo one percent because of that shirt. So I don't know, very confused
by if that is the actual complimentor not. I don't know. I
think it is, Maybe it isn't. I'm not sure. I'm excited to

(29:11):
see what else you have planned forthe show, So I'm this is it.
You give producer Eli a call.I feel like I haven't chatted with
him in like three weeks either,So we are all due for a good,
big catch up with everybody, andI can't wait to see everyone live
again next week. Okay, arewe doing it next week? Are we
you're you're back back full in thefact. Oh okay, don't remind me.

(29:33):
We got to talk about the scare. I'm going to hang up.
You have a going to tell youif you talk about that when I'm not
around, I'm going to make suredoing that. Of course I wouldn't come
on now, okay, did youhave a god? How long have we
been together? Do you seriously?I love you? Guys? Doing it
in two minutes? Okay, Ilove you by So we had a pregnancy

(29:59):
scare for reals, and she wasvery nonchalant about this ship, very nonchalant.
She what was it that led intothe scare? See? It was
something that I had to look upon uh. Uh. You know when
you look up stuff on uh online, it's like I expect for people to
say, oh, it's cancer,you're about to die. Uh, but
this wasn't that. Whatever the symptomswere, it was like, whoa,

(30:25):
it's hormones. You're definitely pregnant.Damn it. P k oh shit,
I thought you couldn't watch. Thuscouldn't watch? How are you watching?
Uh? You like my ringtel No? Huh? Let mean mute that real
quick. Uh. Anyway, shewas very nonchalant about it. So for
when when she came back, Ihope you guys can keep up. I

(30:48):
should have had a white more sowe can have like a little of what
happened when it happened. But shecame back and I stayed behind. But
before that happened, we went tothe store to get some like food and
stuff for me to eat. Thatway, I'm like going out and spending
a bunch of money making sandwiches allthat stuff, right, And I'm sitting
there there and I'm like, yo, you got to get a pregnancy test.
What are you doing? Like that'sthe first thing you should do.

(31:08):
Go to the bathroom, Like,let's let's test that real quick. We
can just bide just that one thingand then finish our grocery shopping. She
say it's too extensive. I'm like, we'll get the fuck a cheap one
man. And Neil, I'm like, you're very nonchalant about it. Anyway,
she's not pregnant. Uh, Andmore of that story. More of
that story once it gets back,because apparently she is watching your damn liar.

(31:33):
Somebody asked me, let me seeif I can find and my random
questions. One of them was,you know what I'd like for you guys
to answer some of these questions too. Why the hell am I the only
one answering him? Right? Wherewas? It? Was something about here
it is? Okay Skyler from Oregon. If you were a ghost and put
it in the chat. If youwere a ghost, what kind of place

(31:57):
would you haunt? Go ahead andput it in the chat. I'll give
you mine. I'm gonna go withsomething that there isn't you don't expect the
ghosts to haunt. I'm gonna gowith a car wash, because why not.
You can mess with the brushes ruin. Some paint jobs really have a

(32:19):
good time. Roll the window downlike it happened to d back in the
day. That motherfucker. But that'swhat I would go. What about you?
There? You go? Great question. And now Denise's in the chat.
Your dad's house it's already haunted,honey, it's already haunted from all
his girls. All right, Ido have match too. I'm just looking

(32:44):
over my notes real quick. Igot match too. I wanted to tell
you about the hospital visit. Shedid say that there was a person in
the hospital, so I'm not gonnasay who the person in the hospital is,
but I feel like I need totell you that story because just a
second ago she was like, atfour point thirty, you were chipper.
You were like really, and Iwas, and this is why I was
very awake at four thirty in themorning. So this happened. And I

(33:07):
could be wrong on the dates becausethey're all like running together. I think
this was Thursday going into Friday morning, right and Thursday night, I'm fixing
my little air mattress. I havemyself a little sandwich. I think that
one was the peanut butter sandwich.We got some Jiff creamy Jiff, so
I made that and I was prettymuch ready to kind of like, I

(33:29):
think I'm just gonna be an easynight whatever. But then Tony called from
his new house about five minutes away, and he was like, hey,
you want to come over get somemarks, And I'm like, that sounds
like a plan. I'm not doinganything else. So I go over to
Tony's house, which was five minutesaway, right, and him and his
lovely wife and myself. They gota brand new house with a nice little

(33:49):
fire pit in the backyard and weresitting back there the kids are asleep,
and he makes some margaritas. Really, this entire story, I blame on
him because I was a making themargaritas. And I don't think he was
using a little measuring cup to findout how much tequila. I think he
was just free balling it. I'mjust gonna tell you that that's what I
think happened. So we get totalking. We're having some fun where uh

(34:12):
the fire pits. It's Oregon,so you can do a fire pit here.
I wish we could because all thebranches from the hurricane, but it's
like already it's a thousand degrees atlike one in the morning. Can't do
it here. But there it waslike a cool I don't know what it
was, like five sixties or something, so it felt really nice. No
bugs, no mosquitoes, sipping themargaritas, catching up. At one point,
his wife is like, all right, I'm gonna call it a night.

(34:35):
I didn't even realize time was justflying by, just flying by the
time I tell you, so I'mkicking my feet up. And then and
then Tony proceeded to like, uh, you know, we're just talking about
life, the things that I've donewrong, and uh, you know,
and uh it just just a lotof talk, a lot of a lot
of uh wood burning in the fireplacein the backyard. Next thing I know,

(34:57):
it's like four thirty in the morning, and Tony's like just crass on
the couch. I didn't want tocrash on the cout random question from Ilia,
how many people can you put insideyour shirt with you? You son
of a bitch. I can't readthese questions when I'm talking, you brat
bastard uncalled for so four point thirty. I didn't want to sleep on the

(35:23):
counts because like he's got kids andstuff. I don't want him to come
down. And then like here's ayou know, free willie, you know,
like uh beached whale just on thecouch, Daddy, who's this?
Who's the homeless guy? Broken andhim? And it's good are sleeping on
the couch anyone, you know whatI mean? Like that would just be
weird. And plus you're like wakingup and it's like hungover and like,

(35:43):
ah the kids. I'm like,you know what, it's like five not
even five minutes. So I getback to the house, which I yeah,
get back to the five minutes fourpoint thirty not a lot of cars
out, you know, Denise callsand she's crying. I did not tell

(36:07):
her I was up all night.At that point, I just I do
what any good husband would do whenyour wife calls you crying. I listen.
You don't interrupt, you just listen. So then I put two and
two together that I need to goto the hospital. So I'm like,
ah, so uber to the hospital. And all I know is that this

(36:30):
person is in the hospital. Butbecause of her frantic like phone call,
I just immediately in my brain,which isn't quite all there at this point,
I'm like, the hospital's got tobe the er, right, Like
she just called crying. This personjust got to the hospital. It's er.
So I get to the hospital.I'll run in and I go through
the metal detector and starts peeping,and the guy's like, oh, come

(36:52):
back, come back my Oh.So I come back, empty my pockets
out, go through there, puteverything in, and I run around and
uh, some doors are locked.He can't get in there. And I'm
like, eight floor. I needto get to the eighth floor. And
they're like, well, sir,this is the er. This is only
like one floor. I'm like,oh, wrong building. So then I
get out of the er by theway, because we were next to that
fire pit. I smell like juststraight like a fire pit, right,

(37:15):
there's no other way to say.It smell like a fire pit. I
mean he had like some cedar woodhe was burning, and like some plastic,
and like the weirdest move of allwas like this dude saves. I'm
like, get a fucking sweatter,bro He saves like papers, all papers,
like the emails tonight. He wouldprobably have him for another ten years
in case he buys another house withthe barbecue pit that he could burn,

(37:37):
so he uses burning like old mail. Anyway, all those the sens,
all that stuff is on my clothesat this point, and I'm running around.
I find a building that looks likeit has eight floors, so I
go in the building and like,I'm like, I'm in survival mode right
now. I'm like, I'm notgonna let my fucking wife down. No,
I will not probably already have lether down, not if I can
help it. I'm in a survivalmode. So my brain says, don't

(38:00):
check in at the desk because I'mnot necessarily a family member. Like by
well, I guess I am.Well I did different last name, so
you know what I'm saying. Yougo to the desk and they're like no,
and then I'm on the fucking radar. Anyway, it was also like
not even five at this point,so probably should have gotten the desk was
probably closed, is what I'm saying. Either way, in my brain,

(38:21):
I'm like, eighth floor. SoI just go in James Bond style,
fucking behind chairs and shit, getpast the desk, Gotta find the elevators,
going up and down the halls.Find the elevators. Uh, there's
an elevator with an eight buttoned I'mlike, fuck, yeah, this much's
closer. I'm like, it's avideo game. I'm unlocking levels right now.
Fucking big Boss was the front deskof ground floor. Got by him,

(38:45):
found the elevator. That's the flukedfor Mario Boom. Hit the eight
button. Right. I'm in thiselevator with a bunch of nurses that are
looking at me funny, which makessense because it smell like a barbecue pit.
And I was also pretty fucked upat the point at the time,
so you know, luckily they getoff, but they get off like floor
by fucking floor. It was likethree stops before the eighth floor. So

(39:06):
I get to the eighth floor andI'm like, Oh, what's gonna happen?
Is there another desk at the eightfloor? At that point get out
of the elevator. I don't knowwhere I'm really going. I just know
it was on the eighth floor,right, So I just start popping into
rooms hoping I find this person.It took about ten room m like eight
to twelve rooms around there of mejust popping in people sleeping. Lady was

(39:30):
going to the bathroom. The doorwas closed. Uh you could see anything.
It was like fog glass, youknow, it was like I was
peeping or anything. I was justlike, oh, okay, bathroom next.
But uh, a lot of oldpeople are in the hospital checked in,
so don't get olds with him.I hope I didn't, did I
fucking slip nod? Okay? Soanyway, so I finally find the room.

(39:52):
Finally find the room, and that'swhere the Big Boss is in my
video game. In my brain,the Big Boss this is like the you
know, this is this is theend of the video game. Because now
I still smell like a barbecue pitand I'm hugging people, and I'm thinking,
I hope they can't smell this.Eyes are probably red. Doctors coming

(40:15):
in, asking questions. I'm justtrying to keep it together because have you
ever, like, have you everbeen to the point where like adrenaline is
just like, you know, gettingyou through whatever the obstacle is adrenaline,
you know, and then you getto and you can finally relax for a
minute, and you're like, theneverything hits you. Welcome to my life,
because now I'm like, I'm ina safe spot. I made it.

(40:37):
I found it. Oh my god, I am you know did it?
I did it? And then itall hits me and then like doctors
are coming in, nurses are comingin, people are asking questions. I'm
sitting there like Denise's call and crying. I'm trying to talk to her at
some point, and by some pointI mean by like it took me like
four hours. I think I hadto. Yeah, it took me a

(40:58):
little while. But then I'm finallyI didn't Denise can tell you this next
week, But I'm like, Idon't know what to tell you. I'm
pretty fucked up right now. Itold her on the phone. I'm like
I'm sorry. I didn't know.In my defense, all the shit was
gonna happen. I was just goingover to Tony's house for like one margarita.
Next thing, I know, thisis my life. I smell like
a barbecue pitt and I got doctorsasking me serious questions about hearts. I

(41:21):
don't fucking what happened. What happened? So uh but to her defense,
he was really cool. I wasexpecting to get like a hang up or
an ear beating, but she wasvery very cool about things. So and
uh, let me, you said. I didn't say shit. Wait wait,
damn it, Peca, I didn'tsay. What did I say?

(41:43):
I said nothing? Nothing? Anyway, it was an adventure, my friends,
an adventure. There's gonna be morethat I'll tell you once she comes,
because I'm gonna slip and then it'sgonna be a whole thing. But
I'm glad I was able to go. It was it was, you know,
it was like the morning from hell. But also I really am glad
I was able to go and spendsome quality time. And yeah, and

(42:07):
so that was I think, andI could have my days mixed up,
but I think that was on Friday, I did the game on Saturday.
Yeah, that's what it was.And then on Sunday I flew back and
then and then Denise went back inthat so I've seen her like a day
in the last like two weeks orsomething, which is weird. It's very
weird because I'm a mess without heraround to boss me around. I need

(42:30):
somebody to be like, tick theshit, norder. I have no kind
of I don't know. I'm justI don't know how I survived when she
wasn't around, and I wasn't oneof those like, uh, you know,
my my my spot wasn't just coveredin like laundry hills. You know
how some people just have laundry hillsall over there's Have you ever been to
a buddy's house. I'm probably Iknow some of y'all probably have the laundry

(42:51):
hills because some of y'all are justcrazy. But yeah, I was never
I always had my stuff, andI was semi messy, not full messy,
semi messy. I think That's whereI'm at right now. So I
show up here in Houston and thehouse is squeaky clean. She's pulling out
like mops that also steamed the floorand I'm like, why, She's like,

(43:12):
look at all the dirt I got. I'm like, we've been living
on this dirt for two years.What's the problem. It looks clean.
I dropped food. I eat thefood. Five second rule. We don't
need to steam all this Anyway,she steamed it and it was very,
very clean. It's not right now, but it will be by the time
she gets back. What I'm sayingis I really need her around. I
just I can't function last night.I can't find last night. I'm in
bed and I'm like, I havetwo choices right now. I can go

(43:36):
to sleep, I can wake uprefresh. I have two choices. But
Denise is next to me. Shit, let me turn that TV on.
Next thing. I know, it'sfour point thirty, four point thirty in
the morning. Whatever other guys arelike this, probably not I am.

(43:58):
I don't know why. I don'tknow what's wrong with me. Guess I
still need to grow up. What'sthe most embarrassing thing you've ever said?
To a drive through speaker from Chadand Alpharetta. But you can't even see.
I don't know why I'm holding thatup. Uh God, I don't
know. There's been a lot becausewe used to do the radio show.

(44:19):
We'd mess with drive through workers allthe time. But I don't we always
have Scooter do those things. DidI say anything embarrassing now? I don't
think so. I guess what Ifind embarrassing is when I, you know,
old p K, when he orderedlike three sandwich is a surprise.
That was pretty embarrassing, And Ialways always like look at him, like
maybe they think that I'm ordering foodfor like fucking a family, not just

(44:42):
myself, but probably not because Isaw some pictures of me and I'm like,
yeah, they probably they knew.What about you? Are you guys
open from Auto tech nerds? AThat's a good one I got into.
I don't know if I've ever sharedthe story. I'm pretty sure I have
because I only have so many stories. You guys have been with us for
like years. But when I workat Rallies, we had all the lights
off and a car came like ahalf hour after closing, right and we're

(45:07):
you know, he was ding dingding ding ding ding, Like if the
car doesn't move, it just itjust does that stupid chime inside the restaurant,
right, ding ding ding. Somy dumb ass at the time.
I think I was like seventeen orsomething. I go up and I'm like,
hi, welcome to what was thatrally? Well, welcome to rallies.
I'm sorry, do you do yousee any lights on? And then

(45:30):
Guy's like nah, I'm like,that's because we're fucking closed. Duh,
we're closed. We closed a halfhour ago. That's why the lights aren't
on. Why would you think wewere open? Like, all right,
motherfucker, I'll see you at thewindow. I was like, oh shit.
So I locked the window and Iran and locked myself into the office
in the back. Ah, Ican't do this by myself. I need

(45:51):
people here. This this is awful. You look like Tom Hanks in Big
when he shrinks to Okay, andnow I do. You're gonna go fucking
change, bro, all will gochange. But I think all my clothes
are also MoU moo size. Ifelt really good about this. I had
a tighter shirt on and I'm like, oh shit, I'm getting fat again.
Let me get a bigger size.And I felt like really good.
I was like, oh shit,O look skinny. Now leave it to

(46:15):
Elia. Anyway, those are thefast food days I did want to do
match too, and I know you'relike, how the hell are we gonna
do match too? Well, I'lltell you because I have two words and
you're just gonna play with yourself.But I figured we can still do it.
Why not? But I'm gonna giveyou the two words at once,
and then you just thinking you don'teven have to write it in the chat
because I'm not gonna go through thechat because at that point I'll see and

(46:36):
it doesn't matter. But just forfun, I wrote down two words and
my answers on this piece of paperon the other side, which I'm not
gonna sew you just yet. Butyour two words are soup and skunk.
Soup and skunk, and if youare new to our show, you're probably
not. But it's a word association. So for soup, think of a
word. For skunk, think ofa word. And to win this game,

(46:57):
which currently you win nothing, youhave to match both Matt's too.
There you go, I'll give youa second. And then Denise found this
post and she was like, isthis kind of creepy? And we never
got to it the like I don'tknow, like four weeks ago and did
the last show, but I didbring it up dot of a bit.

(47:21):
It's on the printer. It's notthe printer, but I'll get it,
but I want to read it toyou and then you guys tell me if
it's creepy. What was the otherthing too that she said not to get
to it till next week. It'sa point counterpoint? What'd she do?
She did some Somebody remind me andI'll tell you she did something. She
said that talk about ten next week? No point counterpoint? You're wrong.

(47:44):
Oh, thank Dave for introducing meto this Woodford whiskey here at just seven.
All right, well, I guessI am seeing. I guess you
could put him in the chat.Yeah, I said, don't put them
in the chat, but that doesn'tmake any sense. I didn't think things
through, but I do have themwritten down, so I guess you couldn't

(48:07):
put him. That doesn't matter really, But let's see if anybody would have
matched with my with my words.Let's see if we would have a winner
and looking through the chat and no, so that's kind of disappointing. But
leave me an instant voice note ifyou're listening to this at a later time.
Because also we didn't tell people whowere going to go on until like
an hour before. So here wego whiskey Wednesday from Dene. Why are

(48:30):
you watching? You're not supposed tobe watching, not supposed to do that.
I can't get in trouble. I'mgonna get in trouble, is what
I'm saying. I don't want toget in trouble, but I'm gonna get
in trouble because it's gonna be realtime trouble. At least what's at a
later time, and then you canyell at me tomorrow, which is something
that I always do. He's like, why'd you lie to me? I
was like, well, I'm gonnaget yelled at some point. I figured

(48:50):
I was just gonna push it tomorrow, all right. For soup, Yeah,
I can't believe nobody said that noodlesoup. Oh that was good man.
I don't have a damnit pea.Do you have a damnit pk?
Did somebody say that last week?I'm gonna have to bring that up.

(49:13):
Somebody just leave me a couple insome voice notes on damnit PK? Because
I said for soup, I said, and nobody did hot hot soup,
Hot soup. I don't know,I think because Denise sent me a picture
of what I thought was clam chatterer, but it was like something else,
and I was like, oh hot, soo. I was like, soup
hot. The second one. Thesecond word is skunk. And I picked

(49:35):
this because Tony's dumbass brand new housedog chased the skunk, dog got sprayed,
wife got the whole house got sprayed. I go over because this happened
while I was there, like notwhen I was there, like I wasn't
at the house. But the nextday, I you know what happened.

(49:55):
And I go over there and I'mlike, oh man, that us smell
like an electrical fire. And hewas like, you can smell that.
I'm like, fuck yeah, Ididn't say like that, but oh man,
I hope you're not listening to thestony. Yeah you can fucking smell
it, bro and pray A newhouse skunk is fucking whooa what the town,
which is weird because I always thoughtthat they smelled like weed, not
an electrical fire. That's what Ismelled. That's what he in fact told

(50:19):
me when the incident happened. AndI'm like, you're fucking you're high right
now. I know it's still legalin Portland doing shrooms. What's happening?
But the next day smelled like electricalfire. New house ruined. Skunk.
Skunk. Let's see if anybody mattskunk and I'd uh yeah, Actually,
well I'll count stink because for skunk, I said smell. There you go.

(50:43):
So my two words were for soup, I said hot. For skunk,
I said smell. Sho. Igotta get the paper from the printer
so I can tell you guys aboutthis crazy person. She might not be
crazy. You all find out together. Who's kiddy enough? All right?

(51:43):
You walk? I got it?Yeah. I had to change shirts because
I got tired of the mom jokes, which I don't know still a compliment
though, so I don't know ifI'm tired about it. Oh yeah,
here it is. Who sent thisin? Who I know exactly what this
is gonna say? Here we go, and I deserved it. I earned

(52:05):
it tonight. Here it is,damn it. There it is, my
dude, all right, let meread this. And this is something that
Denise is on secondal neighborhood. LikeFacebook groups. I thought Facebook groups were
for old people, but apparently not. Or are they making a comeback or

(52:27):
what's happening. Somebody tell me shouldI be on fucking Facebook or not?
The thought like only old people areon Facebook. I know I'm fucking old,
I know, but at least Idon't look at it just yet.
I know it's gonna it's gonna happenquick. But should I? Are you
on fath? Should I be onFacebook? I don't know what to make
up things right now, But anyway, she's on a bunch of groups and
this happened in our neighborhoods. SoI'm gonna read it to you and you

(52:49):
tell me if this is a psychopathor maybe not. To be honest with
you, I haven't really she shesaid, is this person crazy? And
then she started reading it to meand I kind of tuned out. So
this might suck. So we're gonnafind out together. Here we go.
I'm not sure if this is theright place to post something like a shot
shout out? Is shout out oneor two words hyphenated? Never could figure

(53:12):
that out, that's me In caseyou're listening it all right, let me
just start at the top. Notsure if that's the right place to post
something like this like a shot out. Yet I do want to thank a
very nice guy who helped me onSunday morning when I fell off my bike
on the TC Jester Trail. Ifound out his name. It's Noah.
Noah. He not only helped mewith my thinking about the nov Oh prank,

(53:37):
especially with all the weather and allthe flood in here, it's just
perfect. He not only helped mewith my wound, yet stayed with me
until my friend came and picked meup and picked me and my bicycle up
from the side of the road.So far, so good, right,
Like, I don't find anything wrongwith this. Noah, thank you so
much for stopping to help me andby even uh even tearing off part of

(53:59):
your shirt. Oh god, nois a fucking hero. Tearing off part
of his shirt to stop the bleeding. Made a tourniquet right here. Damn.
Noah must have not liked that shirt, because I tell you what,
I got a couple of shirts you'regonna be bleeding. But it really depends,
Like I'd say, eighty percent ofmy shirts I'll tear to shit save
your arm or a leg or something. But there's like a good twenty percent

(54:21):
that I'm like, Ah, you'resorry. It's Amazon Prime Eby they got
a good deal in a wheelchair.You kept me calm and stayed with you
kept me calm and stayed with meuntil my friends arrived. So far,
I love Noah. This is greatand I don't find anything wrong with this.
It's great. She's thinking them.I know that you are on ND.

(54:45):
I don't know what that means.I know you are on n D
Capital ND because we talked about thesite and I was able to find your
picture. Oh shit, all right, it's getting kind of weird, owt
it's getting Yeah. By the way, you are even more hand some in
person than you are on your photo. I sttle compliment. Uh, you

(55:05):
were my knight in shining armor,and I can't thank you enough. I
am sorry to not get your numberto call you and thank you again for
your kindness. I was curious asto your accent, yet I see you
originally from Greece. Well, Ihope you see this posting all my best
to you. Sophia's Sophia a littlecuckoo. I'm not sure she definitely wants

(55:28):
if you want to think, Here'swhat I think. I think if Noah
wanted to hang out with Sophia,they definitely would have he would have,
you know, got that well maybehe maybe he felt wrong about asking for
the digits, but then you knowwhat I mean, like, I don't
know, looking up the picture andsaying that and all the other stuff kind

(55:51):
of creepy. That's what she losesme. If she just wanted to say
thank you so much, I'd loveto grab you. I'd love to get
you a coffee to to thank yousome more, or not thank you some
more, that's pretty I'm the fuckingcreep I love to thank you in person.
That's what I'm in. I wouldprobably use chat GDP to make sure
I'm not too creepy, but youknow, thank you in person. If
you happen to see this, hitme up. Thank you so much.

(56:13):
I really appreciate it. I'd loveto get you some cash for to get
your new shirt or something like that. That's I think more on the normal
side than you know, did thepicture where you're from fucking you know,
twenty three and meters or whatever.You're a little creepy, right, that's
your tonight's point. Counter point PKand DKs point counter point all right.

(56:42):
In the chat, Brion Racer,we got a oh yeah, yeah,
you weren't you weren't with us earlier, So uh yeah, I'm gonna I'm
gonna slip and get myself in somereal trouble, so I won't say anything.
I hope you're doing better, though, I hope you are doing better.
He just joined the show a littlelate because of cardiac rehab. Doing
random questions that came and I askedfor like people to send some random questions

(57:04):
and they fucking took that to heartbecause I don't know how to answer some
of these. Maybe you guys know, So let's go with here's a good
one from Bob. Bob wants toknow in Florida. I don't know what
part of Florida, but Florida's inthe house. What's the strangest thing you've
ever found your pocket? What's thestrangest thing you found in your pocket?

(57:27):
Well, that's a hard one becauseI feel like I'm putting stuff in my
pocket. It's not like somebody sneakingout behind me and putting stuff in my
pocket. Right. So, backwhen I was my baller days, which
I don't like to think about nowbecause it's this very, very depressing,
i'd find cash that was Yeah,that's the baller days. Now, I'll
look for cash. Let me tellyou something. They're fucking empty, not

(57:51):
good, you know, random pocketthough I'm trying to think, Yeah,
I don't. That's a that's areally weird one. Just because you know
it's your pockets. If somebody hassomething, please I'd love to know from
you. Drop us in this voicenote we'll play these next week in the
chat or however you want to getthem to us. Yeah. The weirdest

(58:15):
thing you've ever eaten on a darePK. That's from raj I think it's
raj r a j H. Andthe weirdest thing I ate was and there's
video of this, the egg,the Filippino egg. I don't wanna the
Philippines egg. How do you say? I don't you know? The egg
that has the bird that was goingto be a bird but then it died.

(58:35):
Well I hope it died. Idon't know. I never really looked
into it, but you know it'slike bones and actual bird in there.
And uh especially I was like throughmy weird eating phase and that scooter made
the bet of like there's no waythat you can eat that and not vomit,
And I said, bitch, yes, I can, if I can
do anything. At the time,I was skinny, so I can't really
blame him. You probably had noidea of what was to come. Like

(58:59):
if you saw, you know,a year ago, PK. You know
you don't make that bet. PKwill eat fucking anything. So yeah,
you made that bet. And whatdid I say? I said, if
I vomit, I will give youtwo hundred bucks plus buy you PlayStation.
And I'm not gonna age myself.So we'll just say it was a PS
five. Pretty sure it was thefirst one anyway, But if I can

(59:22):
eat the egg not vomit then AndI was trying to think of the most
fucked up thing, and I don'tknow how this came up. And I'm
like, oh, I get tomake out with your wife, but you
have to have the radio on andlistening to it in the car with your
kids. Anyway, I didn't,I didn't vomit, And it was Yeah,
it was weird. It was weird. I mean, yeah, I

(59:42):
just felt bad. You know.We never when we did like the crazy
stuff. We never and we neverdid crazy stuff, uh, to like
to shock or to do anything.It was always for the challenge or because
we thought it was funny. Itwasn't like, you know, we never
went into anything with like mischievous maybemiss but not like evil or like,
uh, we're just gonna I don'tknow. You know, there was a

(01:00:04):
lot of shows that I grew upon that would always have strippers and all
this stuff, And to me,I'm like, that's not interesting to me,
Like what's the what's the twist ofLike maybe one of my favorite things
we ever did was when we didhave a stripper in the studio and I
asked Ryan to rate her. I'mlike, could you please rate this this
this nice young lady, young ladyat the time, could you rate the

(01:00:25):
stripper? And he was like,oh, man, ten out of ten
And I'm like, please describe forthe listening audience. Man, man,
everything is ten. Her booty isat ten, her boobs are a ten.
I'm like, all right, wellhere's your wife. She's been on
hold this entire time. At thetime, it was this girl, but
oh man, I didn't see thisshit coming. But then she goes off
on the poor stripper. No,she was a porn star, That's what

(01:00:46):
it was. It was a pornstar that came in. I think she
had a signing somewhere in Portland.Portland's fucking week. Oh my fucking god,
Oh I was. I had thispicture. See this is what happens
when you just have me just firefrom the hips. Things happened. I
wanted to What I was gonna say, is Portland's fucking weird? Like the

(01:01:07):
last time last year I went there, we had it was the dude with
a tail and what was it like? Nothing like a speedo and a tail
and just weird. This time,I'm at the grocery store and I'm getting
some lunch meat right and I turnedthe corner and I'm like, holy sh
what the fuck is going on here? I can't even do it justice,

(01:01:28):
I can't describe it. I'm gonnasee if I can find the video real
quick. I hope I didn't deleteit. There's no way I deleted the
video. But you know what Idid. I did one of those like
I'm like, I can't take apicture because this this She's gonna beat my
ass and I can't get busted.Oh here it is, Oh, please
tell me. Oh, I don'tknow if I got it. Portland's just
fucking weird. It was. Itwas this this this girl shopping at the

(01:01:51):
store, right, and like thewhole outfit was nuts. The earrings were
like just nuts, right, Butthen she had one of those. It
wasn't even just like a normal pipe, you know, the pipes like like
I don't know what they're called.Delia had one of them, but you
know, sophisticated pipes like the theI don't all fucking Einstein pipes, Like

(01:02:14):
I feel you have to be smartto have the you know, like the
old school pipes just kind of wellanyway, hers like was a pipe,
but the shit was like I don'tknow, like true feet, just walking
around the grocery store, and I'mlike, what is happening right portallyd is
so weird, so weird. Igo back and forth with like do I
like it? Do I hate it? I just can't decide. I just

(01:02:35):
can't decide. I like it,like when we go fourth of July because
it's always sunny, but then it'slike rainy for nine months, so no,
I don't like it. So Ilike it for three out of nine
if I'm doing the math, whichI'm not good at. Eh, That's
why you know, I was havingthe conversation. Tony was like well,
a lot of people asked me,and this is something else that I did
want to ask, and when Denise'sback, we'll have a more deep conversation
about it. But a lot ofpeople ask me, and I did not

(01:02:57):
have the answer, why the fdo you live in Houston, especially because
the hurricane was hitting when we werethere and I'm fucking watching it, like,
oh shit, oh no, pleasedon't flood. Oh god, the
cameras just went out. It wasterrifying. I could not sleep that night,
right, and like, and it'shot as balls. I think my
answer is is like the friends thatwe have here, the friends, the

(01:03:17):
opportunity because it's a bigger city,bigger city, there's more, just by
nature, more opportunities. And Ido like the tropical weather. I think
that the people are nicer. Thepeople aren't nicer, I'm sorry to say.
Like, you know, there's alot of nice people in Portland,
but there's also like a lot ofnot you know, especially if you move
there from pretty much anywhere. Butdamn if you move there from California,

(01:03:38):
forget it. You know, it'sjust like there's the southern hospitality is a
real thing. So I guess thosethings which I think I did say to
people immediately dismissed, but I didwant to ask, like, for the
other people that do live in Houston, what do you like? Even for
people in Atlanta were asking me,why the fuck do you live in Houston.
You're gonna lose your house, youdon't have power, you lost all
your grow fries. I'm like,yeah, I know, but it's not

(01:04:00):
raining, and it's sunny. Ilike the sun. So here's my other
question that I'd like to ask peopleand drop me an instant voice note if
you could pick, because I kindof can right now. Right Denise has
a job she could probably transfer reallyanywhere, you know, she wants to
go to Kawaii. I'm like,yo, we gotta get we got to
reel on that, you know.But like, if you could go anywhere,

(01:04:23):
where would you go? So Iwas thinking to myself, I'm like,
I do like the the beauty ofnature, and like the hiking and
the fucking mountains. I like allthat stuff, and I hate the rain,
which is why Portland was like,uh, but maybe Colorado, but
then it's Colorado like fucking Austin,where it's just like it used to be
cool, but it's not cool anymore. I don't know. So anyway,

(01:04:45):
I'm just gonna toss it out there, and i'd be curious to hear from
you guys. If you're listening tothis or watching this, drop us in
this a voice note and we'll playit next week. Let me go through
my notes real quick, and thenwe'll wrap this up. I know I
didn't talk about the Trump shooting becauselike, really, every everybody has covered
that and what is to say,but uh, you know, the only
the only honest thing that I haveto say about that is like, you
gotta people, you gotta and Iknow some of y'all are just fucking crazy

(01:05:08):
out there, but you got tokeep your cool. You gotta just remind
yourselves. Like I just feel likepeople get so wrapped into both extremes,
and uh, you know, AndI don't think that the Internet is helping
because the algorithm keeps feeding, youknow, Like I'm doing my damns to
try to make the ex algorithm notshit that I don't want to see,
because every time I go on there, it just makes me angry about stuff,

(01:05:30):
right, that's not why. That'snot what I want to see.
I want to see like weather updates, and things to learn cool little hacks
basically TikTok. But I'm too oldfor TikTok. Can I get my algorithm?
I'm x to do that instead ofjust like everybody always conspiracy, always
this or that, or just justhatred like you know, like I'm trying
to try to get my hatred out. In fact, I was thinking to
myself, I'm like, I couldeasily do a political show. I think

(01:05:54):
I could, but I know Icould because I know the basics of being
able to do show, right.I just don't want to be in the
world. It's the same thing withkind of sports sports, like when it
comes to talk shows, like you'reso hated, Like I want to be
out and when I'm at dinner orwhatever. Like this happened to me in
Portland. We went to like somefood carts and this guy was like peka,
and I'm like, what's up andwe need to you know, Like

(01:06:15):
that to me is cool. Ilike people, you know, like I
feel like if you're doing sports orpolitical like it's you're at dinner and somebody
is not gonna just be like Ilike your show, it's they're coming to
spit on you. Or like peopletake that stuff. So you know what
I mean, Like it's this SoI don't know. I'm just I try
to like not have that hatred inmy life. I try to be level

(01:06:38):
balanced and uh and yeah, Sogoing back to the shooting, I mean,
it's fucking just sat all the wayaround and like sad that somebody could
get that wrapped into whatever their ideologyis that they thought that that was a
good id. That's crazy to becrazy. But again, I'm not gonna
say anything new that hasn't been said. So there you go. Let's see

(01:06:58):
what else there was a I don'twant to say that story. I will
somebody remind me. And there isa follow up story that I have,
but I don't want to. Ican't. And when I explain why I
can't say the story right now,you guys will understand that this can't do
it just yet. But anyway,positive vibes, Yes, Anita, positive
vibes life. She's short, soshort. I've been witnessing that this last

(01:07:19):
couple of weeks. It's like andit comes so quick, like I still
remember of like twenty I don't know, twenty six or something, and we're
in a hotel in Fresno, andthere was like Dryan was like it was
the night he got arrested, rightbefore he got arrested, well, the
night before he was gone. AndI'm like in the lobby and there's a
bunch of old people and I startedtalking to him and they were like,

(01:07:40):
yeah, man, like I don'tknow what happened. I was your age.
Now I'm here, and you know, they were like eighty year olds
getting together for I forget what thecause was. And I don't know why
that haunts me to this day.You know, that's just just to the
state still back in my mind.Anyway, I'm gonna wrap this shit up
because let's be honest, it's probablynot good, but I do a pretty

(01:08:00):
everybody joining us, I do appreciatethe uh yeah, you know what I
did before I get out of here. I have a real bad habit of
not knowing how to end the show. But let me be cause I think
I rushed through the instant voice notethat we got earlier on the show,
and I wanted to address it alittle more so one more time, and
especially for the people just joining usright now. Listen to this. What's
up, PK and DK, It'sLee roy here Lee Roan. Something happened

(01:08:24):
today that made me think of you. Over the weekend, I was in
Grants Pass and we went to hisAbby's Legend Area's Pizza, and we did
not have enough room in the refrigerator, so it stayed out all night.
It also stayed in my truck forfour and a half hours yesterday in the
hot sun, and I ate ittoday for lunch, agreeing with PK.

(01:08:47):
Pizza does not spoil. I don'tthink it does. I don't think it
does. It's science. A longtime ago I read something that said I
forget, but like, I guesssomething to the effect that if you cook
a pizza, when you cook apizza in the oven, it like takes
all the moisture out of it,and that's why, like the germs need

(01:09:08):
the moisture to become germy. Iguess. Don't look it up yourself,
is what I'm saying. Don't getscientific facts from me. But uh,
the article was saying that that's why, like, and then I started thinking,
I'm like, yeah, because callit's kids, leave pizza out for
a fucking two weeks or something.I got used to do that back in
the day with Ben. You know, we'd get like this awful pizza Bembollinos
or something fucking nasty, but he'dbe on the canter for like, I

(01:09:30):
don't know, three four days andwe'd still eat it. Not a problem.
Then you grow up all the sudden, you come back from Hawaii with
an amazing pizza pie that you've forgottenyour bag or whatever for like a week.
Oh, can't eat that. It'sgonna get me thick science. Look
it up. And I'm gonna leaveyou one last question because I thought this
was interesting. What's the This isfrom Jamal and uh Oh in Houston.

(01:09:54):
What's the weirdest thing you've ever usedas a bookmark? I really want to
save a penis, but I don'tlike paper cuts. I don't read.
No, God, what is this? I feel like I should have something
for this because I've never had likea quality bookmark, and I do like,

(01:10:17):
I don't you know. I thinkI just fold the paper, is
what I do. I don't thinkI've ever used anything as a bookmark.
I fold the paper or if ithas like maybe like a rubber band.
I've used rubber bands. Yeah,I've done that before. Yeah, team
Kindle or team books. I feellike everybody wants to say the cool thing
is team books, but then Ifeel like kindle, you can get the
stuff easier, right, Like Ifuck an iPhone. I'm team audiobook.

(01:10:41):
But it's hard because when you lookan audiobook like one ear out the other.
I gotta listen to it like threetimes and then I'm like, oh
shit, I finally get it.But anyway, we're gonna wrap it up.
Dave gotta be able to read itfirst. Peek it you son of
a bitch. You and Elia onthe ship list tonight coming at me.
Can't read them ahead. But anyway, appreciate you guys. We'll call it

(01:11:03):
a night. How long has itbeen? Show? Oh no, oh,
this is gonna be hard. Idon't know if I can post the
show. I'm gonna sleep on itand we'll see. Uh probably should post
it. Okay, we're gonna justwrap things up right here, and uh,
hopefully this wasn't a complete mess.We're gonna be back. Denise is
gonna be back next Wednesday. It'dbe nice to get Ilia uh to to

(01:11:25):
to be in the studio as wellat some point. And appreciate you guys,
Thank you so much. See younext week. Goodbye, it's the
p K and DK catch us livewe j's at five Pacific seven cents,
seven cents. PK and DJ dotcom three plays podcasts, logs, and
more. Should I replay your game? And I'm not gonna say it again

(01:11:53):
on the street