Go First: Gabby Reece on Courage, Self-Trust, and Living Without Regret

Gabby Reece– former pro volleyball player, Nike's first female signature athlete, co-founder of Laird Superfood, host of The Gabby Reece Show joins Danielle to talk about the real work of building a meaningful life. From the emotional tightrope of motherhood and ambition to the realities of aging, marriage, leadership, and letting go of people-pleasing, Gabby shares the lessons she's learned at every stage. What you'll hear in this episode:

• How to build a life that won't leave you full of regret
• What it means to "go first"—and how that philosophy shaped her life and career
• Her thoughts on Simone Biles, Naomi Osaka, and mental health in sports
• Her honest take on feminism, sport, and the sexualization of women's bodies
• The quiet lie women are told about ambition—and how to design a life that actually fits
• What her volleyball career taught her about winning, feelings and how to take up space
• Why women in their 50s are calling it the "F.U. Fifties"—and what that really means
• What she teaches her daughters about ambition, self-trust, and body image.
• A behind-the-scenes look at her Nike shoe deal (the first of its kind for a woman)
• Wellness hacks she swears by (including the real reason she started drinking coffee at 45)
• The feminist contradiction she's still wrestling with
• How marriage to Laird Hamilton has challenged and inspired her
• The quiet power of consistency, mentorship, and saying no without apology

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Listen to The Gabby Reece Show here.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
No one has all the answers, but when we ask
the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths,
closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
Danielle Robe and each week, my guests and I'd come
together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not?

Speaker 2 (00:28):
And who says?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
So? Come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's
time to question everything. Years ago, I was in Chicago
hosting a morning show. I had two other co hosts,
Felicia and Jordan, and the three of us would sound
off on topics in the morning, like at six in
the morning. It was very much like the View. And

(00:52):
then one day we started talking about beauty pageants. And
if you've been listening for a while, you know that
most of the time soft and sweet, but when I
have an opinion, I can be kind of blunt, especially
when I feel strongly about something. And that day I
had a strong opinion. A goddamn soliloquy flew out of

(01:12):
my mouth. I said, the most beautiful women you've ever
encountered would be total losers in a traditional beauty pageant.
And that's because authentic messy, transcendent beauty can't be scored.
It isn't plucked or tamed, or planned or rehearsed, and
people like the owners of the Miss USA pageant are
clearly not the purveyors of it. Real beauty is about resilience,

(01:35):
girls and women who have been through something and come
out the other side with an idiosyncratic scar or a
hard earned wrinkle, like the first lines of a powerful story.
If there were a beauty pageant where girls were asked,
when did you really get lost? And how did you
find your way back to yourself? Well, then I might
go all in for that. And that was back in

(01:57):
twenty seventeen. I was twenty six years old, And even
then I knew that real beauty was in the wrinkles
and the scars and the stories, the living of life,
from showing up again and again with grace and guts
and curiosity.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
And there's such beauty.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
In women who have lived, women who have listened, who've
learned how to walk with their power without stomping. You know,
Gabby Reese is one of those women. It first came
by Gabby's work in a surprising way. I can't tell
you it was from watching her play professional volleyball being

(02:35):
one of the greatest, or even because she was Nike's
first female signature athlete or the first woman to design
a Nike shoe.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
I met Gabby.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Reese in the pages of a book Tools of Titans
by Tim Ferris. It's a collection of interviews and ideas
from some of the most impactful people in the world
that he's interviewed, and on Gabby's page, there was a
philosophy I'd never heard before.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
She named it, go First.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
The idea is this, have you ever been in one
of those moments where everyone's waiting for someone else to
make the first move, to say hi, to smile, to
start a conversation. Gabby Reese says, go first. Be the
first to be kind, the first to say hello, the
first to open your heart or ask the question. She
actually likens it to a superpower. She says it creates

(03:22):
openness and possibility and connection.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
So I tried it. I started going first in.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
My own life and especially in la where no one
wants to smile first.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I used this.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
One tiny shift, and when I tell you, the world
around me lit up. It worked like it actually worked
It's rare that you read about a life hack, try
it and it actually changes the way you move throughout
the world. But this one did, and I never forgot it.
So when I finally got the chance to sit down
with Gabby, I knew she'd be insightful.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
But I didn't know just how deep she would go.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Gabby's fifty five in human years, but I think she's
at least nine, five hundred and forty seven.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
In karmic wisdom years.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
She holds the kind of hard earned life experience that
only comes from doing the work, from being in the
arena again and again and still showing up with softness
and clarity and curiosity. So today, Gabby doesn't just give
us a step by step guide for a perfect life.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
She's not selling easy answers. What she does offer is rare.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's a candid look at what it means to live
with intention, to take everything you've been through and let
it shape the way you move forward. She speaks from
the kind of experience that only comes from actually living it,
raising three daughters, building businesses, navigating a long marriage, and
making space for her own ambition along the way. So
I invite you to listen closely today, closer than usual,

(04:48):
and not just for advice, but for resonance, for the
moments that make you sit up a little straighter, the
moments that remind you who you are and who you're
still becoming. I think the question that we're circling today
is one that we all wrestle with. How can we
live by design and not by default? It's time to
question everything with Gabby Reese. Okay, so Gabby, your daughter

(05:15):
told you to stop talking with your TV personality.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
You know, I did a lot of TV interview athletes,
and even within that I was I would say more myself.
But I think as a female, as somebody who's my
natural personality is maybe direct, I find myself also being like, okay,
the message is more important, So how do we cater
to the message. So let's say, for example, if we're

(05:39):
trying to encourage people like, hey, take care of yourself
or whatever that is, and one of my daughters, my
middle we would shoot and she goes, Yet, in this
new world, in this new medium, don't talk with that
side of yourself. Just say it. And I think I oftentimes,
especially because let's say social media are certain things, there's
not a lot of nuance, and I don't like to

(05:59):
get caught with my skirt up. I don't want to
get into a big hassle, and so one I used
it as a way to focus on the message too,
was a way to avoid getting into a bunch of
hooplaw that I don't really want to. I tried to
pick my battles, you know. But then the other side
of that is sometimes and I especially, I was talking
to a friend of mine who's a high powered businesswoman.

(06:19):
She's in her fifties, and she goes, yeah, and I
call it the fe fifties.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
So I do a separate podcast with Hello Sunshine, and
we only interview women, and all of the women in
their fifties call it the fu fifties.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Now it's a thing, and I'm smack in the middle
of my fifties. So I think I've been saying f
you for a really long time. I just haven't said
it here because I sort of feel like everybody has
a role and a purpose, and I think it's also
knowing who you are and what you're selling, what your
message is, and part of my message is really meant
to be more positive, because that's how I feel. That's

(06:55):
what I want to show up for but within that
I could probably be a little harsher and a little
more direct, because at this point it's like, hey, we're
running out of time. I'm running out of time, right.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Do you feel that way?

Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, it's just life, and this is the time in
life to try to put all of the lessons to
the best of your ability in play. And we live
in a world where people, you know, everything needs to
be fair, and that's just not how life is, that's
not how nature is. And so I think you can
be loving.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
And I'm curious to know what some of those were
for you personally.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
I think it's about designing your life, so your relationships,
your career, your physical self in a way that really
is true to you, in the way that you can sustain.
So if that's the kind of overarching umbrella goal, then
I always say, how do you back everything you do

(07:50):
into that to reflect that back so that in ten
years I also will be at a place that hopefully
I designed that I want instead of life pulled me around,
because it does work. Pulls you around, kids, pull you
around if you're in a partnership, and then you arrive
at a place and you go wait a second, This
isn't what I wanted for myself, and so I think

(08:10):
for younger women, if I could teach a college course,
especially like business women is however you want to do,
it is the right way, but make sure it reflects
who you are, what you really think you want, because
I think a lot of us think I want to
kick ass and take up space and make my own
money and do all these things. But oh, wait a second,

(08:30):
I might also maybe like to have a family, and
so really to get these twenty somethings to go, as
you're structuring and navigating these courses, how is that all
playing into this bigger picture. It is very hard to do,
especially harder as the female, because when I'm at work,

(08:51):
I'm always still going to be thinking about my kids.
I tell my girls as a parent what I'm gunning for,
because it is really the number one job that you
kind of have one shot at. What are the things
I'm okay apologizing for pretty much for them, because whether
we'll go over it or not. I think something I
learned from my mother, who was young when she had

(09:11):
me and wasn't always around. I learned from her you
can always apologize. You can always make changes, but ultimately
try to craft your life in a way that you're
not going to have to not only apologize for something
you don't mind, but that you don't get the time back.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
I've never thought about being pulled around in the way
you said, but I feel that, and so I'm glad
I heard that today.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
And I know we do live in a time and
whether people like it or not, typically there's always exceptions.
Men and women are different. If we're going to work, right,
that's the masculine energy, let's call it that, and we
can't expect their experience to be the same. So how
do we if we want to play in that masculine space?
What does that look like for us?

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Okay, so before we come back to present day, I
need to backtrack to twelve year old Gabby. You were
six feet tall at twelve years old?

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Yes, I was six feet tall. I was down growing
at fifteen at six'.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Three you know what they line you up for graduation
at like tallest to. SHORTEST i was always the shortest
person in the. GLASS i cannot imagine what it was
like to be six feet tall at twelve years.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
Old how did it develop or impact who you?

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Became i'm actually really, grateful AND i want to remind
people that anything that is one of our burdens that
we perceive as a, burden is one of our. Gifts
it's there to teach us whatever the lessons. ARE i
grew up in The, caribbean SO i was in The.
CARIBBEAN i lived on an, island AND i looked physically.
Different but WHAT i learned right then was you're never

(10:45):
going to fit, in and there is a really practical
side of my. Personality so it was, Like, Okay i'm
not going to bother and that really has played out
throughout my. Life where it's going back to that thing
we're talking about is playing by the rules in the
game you're. Playing that reflects, you AND i think when
you stop trying to fit, in what it asked you is,

(11:06):
okay well then who AM? I i THINK i asked
that question a lot earlier in life because of being physically.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Different do you remember the first time you felt really
connected to.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
VOLLEYBALL i think it was more in. COLLEGE i had
a really good college coach AND i really learned how
to play the. GAME i was late to the, game but,
ultimately what volleyball gave me was, structure, framework hard, work and,
discipline WHICH i naturally. Have but what it did it
gave me this place to really develop that and to

(11:39):
sort of learn to earn something that if you're not good,
enough you won't get to. Play that you may come
and play in a day and play your, best and
that may not be good enough to. Win someone might beat.
You it's a hard, lesson it. Is it's a great.
Lesson it gave me a, family it gave me something
to be a part, of and it gave me a,
place especially WHEN i was, younger that OH i fit

(12:00):
because all the other girls kind of look like. THAT
i am not unusual in the volleyball. World and so
that's HOW i connected really to.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Volleyball if you had to put a percentage on, it
how much is natural talent versus hard?

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Work natural talent is when you're, young, right you get
on a, team you, play and then all of a
sudden you're talented enough to get through the next. Level
when you then get into the college, level talent still,
counts but then you see all the people who have work,
ethic they start to come on. Up and if you're
in a big, college and then if you play in the,
pros everyone is somewhat, Talented so it's really your ability

(12:37):
to deal with pressure and your ability to take information
in and translate it to, action and that is, CONNECTED
i think to work in. Practice when you.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
Were, playing it didn't seem like there were as many
books about sports psychology and people talking about the mental
aspect of. It did you have any tools that you
came up with that helped you deal with all the
Pressure because you were in pretty high stakes, ENVIRONMENTS.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
I needed to earn. IT i was a person who, thought,
well If i'm going to deserve, This i'm going to
have to work really. Hard SO i leaned on work
as a way to manage. That my college, coach who's
still my very dear, friend i'ven't played for her since
nineteen ninety. One, okay she'd say to, Us, OKAY i

(13:24):
kicked your butt all. Week Now i'd go out and
kick their. Butt BUT i WISH i had learned, sooner,
like for, example it's okay to want to. WIN i
can still be a nice and good person and want
to shut you. Down and that was SOMETHING i THINK
i battled with for a really long, time LIKE i
want to win Because i've been working so, hard but,
LIKE i don't really want to hurt too many people's.

(13:45):
Feelings and what you learn is in, work it's a competitive.
Environment you can still be, ethical you don't have to
step on people's, heads but it's okay to SAY i
would like to do, That i'd like to go, There
i'd like to take ownership of that, space and it
is in. Person and so REALLY i think that was so,
helpful was developing. That BUT i needed that hard work

(14:06):
to give myself the.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Permission that is something because there's that statistic that people
talk about over the last two years THAT i think
like ninety four percent Of fortune five hundred female CEOs played.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
SPORTS i think that's the.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Thing and it's learning how to lose and putting together
a strategy on learning from that and then moving, forward
and also learning to take constructive criticism because coaches are
ultimately criticizing your weaknesses and kind of exploiting them and
getting you to work on, them and also reminding you
of your, strengths which is good, too and learning. TOO

(14:43):
i think something really important is the value of. Cooperation
if you AND i work, together chances are we're actually
going to be. Better so not being threatened by other people's,
power strengths and. Skills and then the other side of
that is understanding that when someone is, saying, hey that's
not good enough or that's not, right that doesn't mean
you're not. Good that doesn't mean you still can't be.

(15:04):
Successful but it also, means, hey don't be afraid of those.
Things keep working on those things because that powers, everything
instead of, like well that hurt my feelings or what
does that? Mean, NOW i will say, this it's also
having the right people criticizing, you the right mentor if
you're in a work, environment the right, coach if you're
an athletic. Environment so it isn't about taking input from

(15:25):
every idiot around. You so that's really important. Too and
that taught me that, like, hey, yeah that's. GOOD i
appreciate your, opinion but guess, WHAT i don't Think i'm
actually going to take criticism or opinions from this particular.
Person were you a trash?

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Talker not at?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
All, None, no because that always bites you in the.
ASS i mean certain people they feed on that fuel
and they can get in the. COMBAT i was pretty
stoic AND i kept most of the energy on my
side of the. Court of, course there was occasions certain,
girls certain players where you, know you just got on
each other's, nerves and so of course if there was
a play then went you're. Favor in that, moment you
might kind of be, like say, yay but then look

(16:03):
right at them kind of.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
THING i love that so much because WHEN i was
watching your old, tape you did keep the energy on
your side of the.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Court but when you went for, it watch.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
Out, well everybody's going for. It they're all a bunch of,
beest these. Girls so, listen that's part of the. Job you.
Know this is WHAT i say because a lot of
times people will, say, oh you're seems so grounded and.
HUMBLE i THINK i certainly am. GROUNDED i don't Think i'm.
Humble WHAT i think IS i kind of know the
law of, life and So i'm not. HUMBLE i just

(16:33):
don't need to learn those lessons. AGAIN i don't need
to be slapped back into. Place and in, Fact i'm
trying to live my life in a way to pick
up the cues. Early oh you know, what course correct
adjust so THAT i don't have to get really knocked
on my butt to go oh. Okay so it's not
That i'm. HUMBLE i have a sense of how it.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Works you're. Realistic, yeah and.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
When you get high and, MIGHTY i think you know,
life the, Universe god is, like, HUH i got something for.
You and there's a part of me that's pretty self,
protective and So i'm always looking to learn the lessons
As i'm.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Going did you ever Watch The office a little?

Speaker 3 (17:12):
Bit?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah of COURSE i didn't watch all of, it but
there's this one episode THAT i think about a lot
because At helm, SAYS i wish there was a way
to know you're in the good old. Days AND i
think oftentimes we miss the middle of the. Day we
don't know because we don't know what life throws at.
Us when you think about those peak volleyball, days do
you miss?

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Them, yeah of. COURSE i MEAN i miss. COMPETING i miss,
playing you, know, sweaty, dirty yelling like, hard it, sucks it's.
Awesome this is a type of frequency that you're going
to be at only in those. Environments it's what's, Expected
it's like how it's supposed to. Be SO i miss that,
part AND i miss like this apex of learning and

(17:54):
practicing and executing that feels so good And you can
find that in other ways in your, life but there's
no thing kind of like. Sport it's so specific.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Because even if you're doing it in, business you're not.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
Sweating there's a pureeness of sport where you, know with
the exception of like, love you don't have. That you're
not going to have that in business because in business
you're going to be treated, unfairly you're going to get
weird benefits that you didn't maybe. Earn and it's, timing it's,
markets it's your executive, like it's a million. Variables and
in sport it's so stripped down and so simple that.

(18:28):
PART i really.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Loved your eyes lit up talking about.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
It, well, yeah because it's sort of like, going, okay
HERE i. Am there's a nakedness to that WHICH i
think empowers, us because you, Go i'm willing to be
vulnerable and risk.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Losing was there a period of time or a moment
that you remember when you doubted?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yourself?

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Oh. Constantly anyone that says they don't live and walk with,
doubt they're either in. Denial i've learned to use doubt
as fuel and go, ooh why AM i scared of?
That or why does that make me? Uncomfortable or why
AM i doubting? Myself is that an old? Narrative is
that a childhood? NARRATIVE i use doubt as a companion

(19:11):
to assess myself as a.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Teacher if you can take me back to a time
that you felt, it even if it's, recent like business.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
Or in, parenting it's. Constant AM i too easy going
with my? Kids SHOULD i have forced them to do certain?
Things that's one THING i. Joke i'm, like, well Either
i'm a genius Or i'm an idiot on this. One we'll.
See and even in my own, career my youngest kid
is a senior in high, school and so Now i'm
sort of re gathering all of my energy and, saying,

(19:39):
Okay i'm ready to go. Again so in my TWENTIES
i really was self. Focused it was about my, career my.
SPORTS i met my husband in my mid, twenties which
is sort of. Interesting and then all of a, sudden
the energy starts to you, know it leaks into other
places because that's what you want. Too and Now i'm
in a place Where i'm sort of recoiling my, energy
and so the doubt comes in in AM i too?

(20:00):
Old AM i too. IRRELEVANT i, mean this is just
being really frank about it is the way THAT i do,
it or my message or the way my brain's hardwired
at a. Date and then you, go, okay Well i'll
move forward And i'll trust, myself But i'll also pay
attention and see what THINGS i could incorporate that are
still genuine to.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Me you're like a life, Anthropologist like you're just like,
collecting collecting and then figuring out what fits for you
and throwing the rest.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Away, yeah and honoring the Ones i'm going to throw.
OUT i have a. Sense but that's the other thing
to be careful of is not getting so locked into,
well this is WHO i, am because then we miss
the opportunity for changing. Growth so it's kind of using,
both but it's really SAYING i really admire that about that,
person But i'm not, them AND i don't do it that.

(20:49):
Way And sport teaches you that because you kind of
have a, job and you, go, god she does, that so,
WELL i don't do. That it's. Both it's collecting and,
leaving but it's still listening to the internal instincts and.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Whisper in your first, book you Wrote everything A woman
does has an emotional. Component paying attention to my emotional
side without surrendering to it is one of the toughest
parts of playing professional. Sports i'm curious how your relationship
to your emotional side has changed since you wrote that
in nineteen ninety. Seven are you more emotional now or
less or just in tune with it?

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Differently, well, okay, first let me preface by Saying i'm
probably not the most emotional person there. Is i'm very, analytical,
Right i'm not afraid to show my. Emotion it's just
not my actual natural. Process like if you watch.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Movies if you watch you, know Step, Mom, yeah that
movie kills. Me are you?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Crying and Step?

Speaker 3 (21:43):
MOM i mean like IF i have my, Period i'm,
LIGHT i don't know, See or If i'm in an,
Airplane i'll cry all the, time. RIGHT i think it's
because you're in fight or flight and so you're, like
oh my, god the dog's still at the train, station you,
know waiting for the owner was never, coming you.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Know.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
YEAH i think the most important way that it's shown
up for me in the years since then is in.
Business if you're in the, role because these are just
roles right where you are having to be the boss
and say it, straight get rid of, somebody make a.
CHANGE i have really learned to not have to be

(22:16):
aggravated to do, that because Before i'd be, like, WELL
i don't want to hurt anyone's. FEELINGS i don't want
to make, changes and now it's, like, hey, listen something
has to. HAPPEN i can be, RESPECTFUL i can try
to be, loving but you still have to be direct
and you're probably going to say something that someone's not
going to. Like and so in That i've gotten way

(22:36):
better at being okay with somebody not liking. Something i'm going.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
To, say how DO i shed?

Speaker 1 (22:43):
THAT i feel like that's my final frontier AND i
hear it from so many people that sit in this.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
Chair it's a big. Frontier did you shed?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
It or was it? Gradual it's been.

Speaker 3 (22:52):
Gradual it's been gradual in a lot of, practice practice
in my relationship, practice in my, business, life practice with my.
Kids so it's the practice OF i need to say.
This so WHAT i do IS i check first. Inside
AM i? Scared because Then i'm gonna me. Personally i'm
going to come out and be kind of aggressive because

(23:12):
that's WHAT i. DO i lean into things WHEN i get,
scared BUT i use force and. Aggression it's, like, okay
we'll calm down with. That so if you're, mad you usually.
Scared if you're feeling, aggressive you're usually. Scared so it's
going no the change this tests to. Happen WHAT i
try to do now is just, say are you coming
from a loving place that's pretty still and clear about

(23:36):
what all the goals, are and then be okay with?
That and you know WHAT i say to people is
don't apologize if you don't answer your email in the
first thirty, seconds and don't end a conversation with if that's,
okay because it may not. Be and that's not what
we're talking. About if you're okay, now if it's an interpersonal,
RELATIONSHIP i might be, like, hey, Listen but if we're,

(23:59):
talking especially in the work, environment it's being, like this
is just part of the. Deal.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Okay in this, VEIN i need YOUR pov on, something.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
OKAY i come from The Gabby reese kind of hard
knocks school of, thought like if you want, something you
push Through Simone biles in The. Olympics i'm going to
say something that's not going to be. Popular my first
instinct was you're at The. Olympics figure it. Out now
is not the, time like mind over. Matter ONCE i
understood what the twisties, WERE i understood that it was.

(24:30):
DANGEROUS i get. It and we don't have to pick her.
Specifically but the conversation of mental health in, sport where
do you?

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Stand are you hard knocks school all the way or
is there a middle?

Speaker 3 (24:42):
Ground, well let's talk about The Simone biles thing for a,
second because what you don't maybe realize, Subconsciously i'm gonna
take a stab at, it maybe BECAUSE i had my
own experience about. It Naomi osaka had just come up
prior to, that, right and she. Withdrew, now if you
get hit with a tennis, ball it's like. Volleyball it's
like you're gonna be. Okay so in that, CASE i
might be, like, hey, listen you're a. Professional you paid

(25:03):
tens of millions of. Dollars so if you're going to
give all the money back to Your japanese sponsors and say,
Hey i'm taking a, Break i'd be, like, okay. Cool
but for, me it's like you can't have the one
and not do the. Other, now in The Simone biles,
case because it's. Dangerous that had a nuance that unless
you're in that situation where it's life and, death like

(25:26):
you break your, neck my husband does a sport that's very,
dangerous that might be a little, different and it might
be interesting that she was able to do that, Then
but it was strange because she'd already been a, winner
and it was, like, well you knew what you were
competing for and signing up, for but maybe this was
an unexpected. Variable in, general work is, hard sports is.

(25:49):
HARD i think you have to expect. That so MAYBE
i appreciate the conversation and parts of it are an.
OVERCORRECTION i Think i'm in line with.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
YOU i also think it's interesting that oftentimes women are
the ones that open things up to a larger. Conversation
but we've only really heard about it.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
With women in.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Sport we haven't really heard about men talking about mental
health and. Sport and it definitely, exists.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Absolutely and by the, way there's far more men playing.
Sports the expectation is completely. Different but this is WHERE
i also think biology comes into. Play you, know even women,
training so a lot of times those female, athletes they
train in certain ways almost harder than male. Athletes AND
i always likened it to, hey If i'm going from

(26:35):
me sitting here with you, TOO i have to go.
Compete the jump for me sometimes is a much bigger
chasm than a guy going, hey Cool, burrow what's up
and then like now we're going to go and award each.
Other they can go like. That that's WHY i always,
say if you see female athletes that have a lot of,
brothers they make the transition really. Quickly SO i think

(26:56):
we're just talking about different types of, people different, hormones, testosterone, right,
like all these things that come into it where that's,
why for, example we've just had all these fires IN
la the firemen go into the burning building or do
the thing without, questioning and a lot of THAT i
think is a physiological and biological thing that everybody wants to.

(27:21):
Ignore and my husband has a joke that women are
far more valuable than, men right think about it in
a certain, way just for. Survival and so he's, like
you can't afford just to huck. Yourself he's like, us
we can go in there and do it, right and
it's a beautiful. Thing but it shows up also in.

(27:41):
Sport why in certain way guys are, like, yeah we
just go AND i think it's so great because it.
Is it's just a little more.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
COMPLEX i wrote this down BECAUSE i Know i'm not
going to say it. Right so for, years women's beach
volleyball players were required to wear, bikinis but men were
wearing shorts AND t.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
Shirts, well, yeah because a lot of times they have their,
number like we had it on our, tops so they
would have their one or two so you knew which
country and which number player they. WERE i think that
rule has since. Changed brazil just won the gold and
one of the players was in, Shorts.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
So as of twenty twelve In, london women are allowed
to wear shorts and a tank. Top the shorts are
still pretty short that they have to.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
Wear, actually the girl From brazil had longer. Shorts, yeah
let me be really overly realistic about. This, Yes so
the group probably a bunch of guys selling beach volleyball
trying to get into The. Olympics they looked at all
the things that were attractive about the sport and they, went,
oh pretty, ladies and so they, went we're going to
pull that. Lever it's a low hanging, fruit is it?

(28:45):
Right probably. Not but That's i'm sure what the thinking.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Was, WELL i was thinking, too LIKE i always asked the,
why And i'm, like, well it probably helped grow the sports.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
It, did and everyone can. Go women should just be
able to, perform of course they. Should.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Good were you ever annoyed about?

Speaker 1 (29:01):
It?

Speaker 3 (29:02):
Well see WHEN i, played you, know, INTERNATIONALLY i wore
the bathing. SIT i was just more. UNCOMFORTABLE i always
WHEN i played in THE us were running tights BECAUSE
i like the idea of not having to think about
it and pull my baby's out of my butt and
do all that. Stuff BUT i, thought, okay well this
is what we're, doing AND i wasn't spending a whole
lot of time getting upset about. It because the sport

(29:24):
is so small and so, vulnerable it's so hard to
make a living at, THAT i, Thought, Okay i'm going
to participate in being part of. Something and once you watch,
it you're not sitting there going who she's? Hot of,
course you're recognizing this is a world class athlete who's,
training AND i think that ends up transcending that she's
in a. Bikini like AM i supposed to control how every,

(29:46):
viewer what they, react think and feel and what they
hold up is. Important. No having said, that, Though i'm
happy that it's, like, hey where what you're comfortable? Wearing?

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Competing you've had such a close relationship with your body
from such a young age because of your. Athletics what's
your relationship with your body like?

Speaker 3 (30:05):
NOW i have a really peaceful relationship with my. BODY
i wish my knees worked, better BUT i do the
THINGS i can do to control having a positive relationship
with my, body and THEN i just let the chips
fall where they are BECAUSE i am getting, older that's
part of. Life BUT i eat, WELL i go to,
BED i don't, DRINK i train very. Hard the work

(30:26):
enables me to have a freedom and also a level of.
ACCEPTANCE i think when we grind it, out it's because
we know we're not doing all we can. Do and
by the, WAY i could still do, MORE i could
still do.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Better SO i love watching videos of you And. Laird
you guys seem like you have a lot of fun,
together AND i know that you're both competitive. People does
the competition push you to do?

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Better you're shaking your.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
Head don't compete with your, partner.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
But, like do you guys compete physically at.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
ALL i can't compete With. LARD i could try to
out Smart laird here and.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
There, No but, Okay i'll give you an.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Example my mom is a big workout girl and she's
in her, sixties and WHEN i go home and i'm with,
Her i'm really inspired to work out Because i'm, LIKE
i can't believe she's doing more push ups than, Me,
LIKE i want the best for, her but we're in.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
Competition, no she's. Inspired you do you inspire each?

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Other?

Speaker 3 (31:19):
Yeah laird really inspires. Me he really, does because he's
walking his own path in the truest, way and even
when he's in discomfort or, whatever he's showing up in
all the, facets and SO i utilize him as a
great source of inspiration and. Fun and ALSO i always

(31:39):
SAY i tuck in a lot Behind. LAIRD i draft
Off laird's energy Because i'm very disciplined AND i can,
go but he's actually even at a higher, level and
so Sometimes i'm, like, oh who wants to deal with?
THIS i just took him behind, him AND i draft
off him on the days THAT i don't have. It
that's WHAT i would encourage people is be that for

(32:00):
everyone in your, life but also be surrounded by people
who are that for. You because if you want to ask,
me one of the biggest you, know the most powerful
levers and tools that we, have it's each other.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
That's really beautiful and.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Powerful, well that's being on a team when you can
be better with someone, else when one in one can equal.
Three and you know that when you feel that harmony
and those energies coming together and, amplifying and you can
have that in a. Friendship you know this with your best.
GIRLFRIENDS i can even have this in moments with my,
children even Though i'm not looking for them to inspire,

(32:34):
me BUT i can look at them and think she's
trying to do it in her. Life that's pretty. Great
so it's be. That but that's really more the. Goal
right When i'm going through my, Life i'm trying to be.
That like if you come across me at the grocery
store AND i, say, hey good. Morning my goal is
just to leave a place a little better than you

(32:55):
know WHEN i first got, there AND i find that
then you tracked those types of people.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Well in that vein we met because of your going first.
PHILOSOPHY i read it In Tim ferriss's book and it
really changed my. Life, Gabby where did the philosophy come?

Speaker 3 (33:12):
From it came from being. Tall people hear me say go,
first and you'd think like it would be like cut
someone off on the, road get on the front of the,
line and go. First was developed from also reading lots
of things About i've said this quote a lot of.
Times In Natural Born. Heroes there's a book it says
to be a true, warrior one must be. Compassionate and

(33:35):
my whole thing is truly to be as sort of
strong and badass AS i can. Be and WHAT i
know that means is that THEN i have to be
a great supporter EVERYWHERE i am in, life and that
could mean opening the door for, somebody saying hello first to.

(33:55):
Somebody so being six' three and, a female there's an,
interesting PERMISSION and i have to go into everybody's Space
because i'm. A WOMAN if i was a six', TO
three guy i might be able to do it, with
other guys maybe. Not to women, As a woman i'm
allowed to freely. Enter everyone's space SO why would i
not take advantage of my size, and say hey how?

(34:18):
Are you today and give people permission, to be open,
to be friendly to acknowledge each other because maybe they
see Me and think i'm not going to. Talk to
HER and so i learned. That really early it first
was a tool to try to diffuse people and make
them feel comfortable and. Connect with them and then, you,

(34:38):
just realize oh it's just a better.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
WAY to live i love that. YOU named it i.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Didn't MEAN to when i, Can tell you tim was.
AT my house i was with laired And my, friend
brian McKenzie and we were all sitting there talking and
when he, ASKED the question i. Thought, about it honestly.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
What was the question?

Speaker 3 (34:55):
That?

Speaker 2 (34:55):
He, asked you remember like if, you.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
Had, one? You KNOW advice and i, really ABOUT it and,
i was, like you know that doesn't seem like a bad.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
PLACE to start i feel like it should catch wind,
on THE internet like i want.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
People to make.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
VIDEOS going first i think it's contagious, because you know
like if you're.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
IN a room i don't know if.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
You've felt this but especially in la people don't really
talk as much. To each other, they're standing alone having
a drink or, on their phone and if somebody takes
the initiative, to go first it breaks the. Ice for
everybody it's. A domino effect. It's so contagious it's very,
easy to do as hard. AS it is i have
A joke now i've elaborated from. GO first too i

(35:37):
bully everyone around me to be. POLITE to me i,
have no, PROBLEM and weirdly i even. DO weird stuff
i gently will put my hand, on someone's arm and
if there's really, Like a thing i'll even gently put
it on top, of their, shoulder which, subtly also though is.
A dominance, move, it's like no we're gonna and so
that is a liberty afforded.

Speaker 3 (35:56):
To me though because.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
Of my size do you go first first in your
close relationships, with your kids, with your husband.

Speaker 3 (36:03):
WITH your, friends I do but i also don't need.
TO as, MUCH i mean i live around a lot,
of people who whether you want them, to or not
they're sort of, coming your Way and the laird is
A very present i can get caught up in my
thoughts and lost in thoughts and planning and building and,
thinking And details and. Laird is here so the other

(36:27):
side of that sometimes is really that reminder of even
if it's, for five minutes don't be here, and be.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Here be here do you think you could pinpoint the
greatest benefit to making that shift in your life.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
To going first we live in a, really loud world
and it's set up that we're supposed to be at
each other's throats because it's a really healthy distraction for
all the naughty players to do whatever it is. That
they're doing and what you learn when you go first
in your day to day life is we're. All pretty
similar we don't. Hate each other even, when we're Different

(37:06):
we connect and it's just a reminder to me about
that there. Is humanity everywhere you just have to participate
and be a. Part of it and what that does
is it allows me also besides that kind of faith,
AND renewed faith i don't walk around really scared. In my,

(37:26):
Life you know i'm not like freaked out by things
or you have a different opinion and. It bothers, me it's,
like it's okay. It's no problem it allows me not
to get swept up in the frenzy that seems to
sort of taken hold. Of us culturally.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Speaking, of going first you were the first woman To
have a.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Nike design deal you MADE a.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
Shoe i, SAID you know i wanted to feel Like this,
when I'M training and. I NEED that and I even
joked i have a. VERY big foot i used to,
say to TINKER and when i look down, AT my
foot i would like it. To look smaller so he
made the lines. A certain way because also training was
like an everyday thing, in a uniform and sometimes, it's looked,
good FEEL good so i, would dress accordingly but sometimes
even looking at my foot, And being like i'm organized

(38:09):
and have the. Footwork and listen it was GREAT timing
and i was at the right place at. The right
time what do you? Mean by that there's plenty of
other female, athletes before me but the market wasn't there.
Yet MY generation. When, I arrived obviously nike did the numbers, and,
was like oh this is the. Time FOR that so
i was in the right place at.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
The right time do you have the shoes? In your
house do? You have extras they.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Are in like a. SPARE bedroom closet. A few SKUs
i think we did about four, or five, SKUs, you
KNOW seasons so i have probably a version of. Each
of that BUT one thing i Will say that i'm
really mindful of. Is that happened it was great and
there's a lot more. Stuff to do were your?

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Kids, wear them ever that's, kind of, cool you.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
Know it's INTERESTING one thing i really want. FOR my
kids i just had this conversation with. My, middle daughter
man cut your own path and make it. Big and
wide don't look, at your dad don't. Look at myself
you're your own person with your own whole thing. Ahead
of you cut that path wide and do it. Your
own way don't worry about you know. What we've done

(39:17):
is that.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Something That you and larry talk about or talked about even.
BEFORE having, KIDS.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
I mean i think that's, our value system and then
it probably got reinforced once the. Girls were here as just.
A living practice that's how we parent, and less words
more kind of. Acting that, way and occasionally like yesterday
to my, MIDDLE daughter specifically i wrote her a, note,
AND said hey i just want, to remind you like

(39:44):
you are, a, very, intelligent talented. Powerful smart person cut
your own path because we. All need that the world
is a scary place and it's maybe scarier CERTAINLY than
when i was. Becoming an adult and so just to
keep reinforcing to trust yourself and to know that the

(40:05):
whispers that you have about yourself. And your life they
should be honored because that's how.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
We get there if we can put your realism aside.
For one moment do you think that Your collab with
nike paved the way for Female athlete collabse do you
think it shifted things?

Speaker 3 (40:23):
In THE market if I get brass, taxi about it
the fact that this shoe sold well meant that the.
Program's PROBABLY expanded but i think that was going. TO
happen anyway, I really do, i genuinely do and you'd
be surprised how little a lot of women's athletics has
expanded even. Since my, Day You know cheryl swoops had

(40:46):
a shoe. RIGHT after me i think the success of
that whole program. Probably allowed it but actually my hope
is women's athletics gets a. Lot More attention but i'm
always interested in how are these athletes? Making a living the,
joke about it it'll. Be good, exposure, i'm like listen
you're not going to pay your, rent with exposure. So
get serious? What's your, business you know? What's your salary

(41:07):
how are you? Making A living so i find. It even,
fascinating FOR, example the wnba the players that were in college, doing,
you know name image. And likeness deals we're making more
money in some ways than they were going to make
than when they turn pro because their. Salary is such
now You Have. Like caitlin clark so there's these interesting things. That,
we see yes the. Attention Is great what i'm really interested,

(41:28):
in is great how do we set up the business
so that these women can really make a healthy living
for that period of time that They're doing sports because
you'd be surprised what the. Average SALARY is so i
always look at it past kind of the woof, and
be like how are they? Paying these athletes and then
there's the, other realistic part how, many you know tickets?
Are they selling so, because, people, say oh well. It's

(41:50):
not fair the men, get paid this LET'S, use the
nba the women. Get paid, that, It's like okay but
if we're going to be grown ups about it and,
look at it how much does? This side earn how
much does? That side earn so how do we grow
this so that these athletes can.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Make a living i've heard interesting debates around, that as
well like some of it is like chicken, Or the
egg like it took a while to prop up men's
basketball and they have fun halftime shows and all the
things that make you want to, attend a game and
we haven't done that yet. For women's basketball it feels
like it's just.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Approaching IT is and i can add other dimensions to
that idea which people don't. Maybe know fully so you
can take a male athlete and you can say gets
this many rebounds and scores this many points. And this great,
for whatever reason we can take. A female athlete she
can be the best. At her sport but somehow we still, want,

(42:43):
to know well what dress? Is she wearing who?

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Is?

Speaker 3 (42:47):
She dating now she? Has a kid how is? She
JUGGLING motherhood and, i always say instead of getting, offended
BY that which, I never was i just think that
we're attracted to women for different, and various reasons and,
we're going like know? Who is she and so one
of the mistakes we've made is that we don't tell
enough stories about. The female athletes, and, they say no

(43:08):
she should be able to go on the court and
play and win and that. Should, be enough okay well how,
has that worked or let's. Expand and go she has
multi dimensional as. Male athletes are but, for, whatever reason
hey you just get your. Rebounds we're good we might
want to know what. CAR he drives, i don't know
YOU know?

Speaker 1 (43:25):
What i mean but even if you think of the,
best male athletes we do care about the lore. Of
it all like we want To Know about. Lebron james
family but it's.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Not the same it just isn't, no matter what it's just.
Not the same the leagues need. To understand storytelling we
need to know who she is because then the audience
will get invested. Also IN her do i appreciate? Her
HARD work do i? Appreciate her SKILL of. Course i
do but we're still marketing, two different products and so
how do we?

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Do that better is there a business decision that you've
made that you feel? Particularly proud of not really.

Speaker 3 (43:58):
The fact that i've been willing to fail and continue
and succeed in business and try to learn and be
willing to raise my, HAND and say i don't know,
what that means? What's ebitda like help me out and
also have my value show up. In my companies It's
not that i'm. PROUD of that i wouldn't be able
to go to bed at NIGHT consciously if i was

(44:18):
compromising my values for the. Sake of business BUT one
thing i feel really Fortunate is that i've been able.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
To do that you say that having a functioning body
we take care of should be one.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
OF our jobs i like.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
How you put that in a world that often treats
wellness as an indulgence.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Or an option even what shaped that?

Speaker 3 (44:39):
MINDSET for you i think, coming through sport. It's really
Simple let's say i've had a KNEE surgery while, i
was competing and you can't get off the. Toilet by
yourself let me tell you what you. Learn real quick oh,
WAIT a Second i think i'm grateful for MY health
and i need to get from, here to there AND
right now i have A knee that i just READID
and if i had to run out, OF the building.

(45:00):
I barely could and so looking at it from a
different point of view of understanding that the gift of
health is it's hard to. Do anything else as people,
who get headaches it's hard to, enjoy your family it's
hard to be really good at your job if you.
Don't feel good and so for me it seems logical
and GOING back to i don't need to learn. The

(45:20):
big lessons IT'S something that i incorporate and as females.
WERE not taught i think men do a better, job,
of like, Hey that's fun i'm going to. Go do
that we somehow, IT'S like oh i have, to earn
that or why are you going? To have, fun it's
like what do you? Think is fun why don't you
go find something that's fun. And do that and Also
learning that i'm not being not as good as a

(45:41):
mother or wife or employee OR boss, if, i say
oh and, By the way i'm going to take. Care
of myself, having said that women go get, their nails
done they go get, their hair done they, clean their
cars they, get new carpets they do. All this stuff
they'd rather put a lot of things first then taking.

(46:01):
Care of, themselves so really we. Have the time we
just have to figure out that it is a part,
of our LIFE not something i do OVER here when.
I have time it's just part. Of the deal and.
Consistency over quantity, if YOU say well i only have
Great fifteen minutes i've, Had newborn Children it's like i've
had six minute workouts. With no equation, it's just like

(46:24):
you do what. You can do but, the thing is
no one's going to come to. You and go, you
know what why don't you go? Take a walk my
husband's not going to. Come and go, you, Know what
sweet i'll. Take over, all, it's like no you have
to put the guardrails out and. Go, To everybody hey
i'm taking thirty minutes unless, something's on fire. Don't bother
me and what it looks like when your kids are
teenagers versus new? Babies is different and is it hard to?

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Fit?

Speaker 3 (46:48):
It in yes do? You? Blow it yes do? You miss?
Days of course do you? Eat, Chocolate cake sure but it's.
Not about that it's eighty percent. Of the time are you?
Getting it done don't make excuses and. It'll work out how.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Much of your philosophy is based on? Science versus, INTUITION.

Speaker 3 (47:05):
You know i know so much of THE science, that,
i go yeah because you want to do some of.
The right things but the whole goal of living is
to be in a deeper. Relationship with YOURSELF how, do
i FEEL what? Do i BELIEVE what? Do i THINK what?
Am i seeing and so when we farm, it all
out sometimes we. Lose THAT connection so i really am deep.

(47:29):
Into MY connection but i use science as, a reference
like oh are? These best practices but you'll find that
there's very few new. Things to incorporate once you understand
kind of, how food works, how movement, works how, sleep,
circadian rhythms sunlight how all, these things work it doesn't really.
Change that much and, again our devices you can put
a neuralink chip, in my head but pretty much, before

(47:52):
that moment our biology.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Is not different your approach has always.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
Been about Longevity from what i've seen and, heard you
talk are there any unconventional wellness practices that?

Speaker 3 (48:03):
You swear by and the bonuses in technology are things like,
real hyperbaric chambers, real red beds things. Like methylne blue
there's these little extra kind of things you can do
that if you have, a good practice these. Can support
you if you don't, do the fundamentals it's just something,
to occupy yourself to make yourself think. You're doing something it's.

(48:25):
Still about work.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
Is that why You Guys. Created laired superfood it feels
Like a fundamental.

Speaker 3 (48:30):
It's a happy. Accident number one and the Great Thing
about laired superfood is this a lot of people. Already.
Drinking coffee cool could you do something that you do
every day? That supports You And so laired, superfood the
ingredients the fact that it's fat, and caffeine together so
you don't go like this, and like that you feel
your body. And your brain so there's some principles baked
into the company that, would be, like you know we put,

(48:52):
adaptogens in there so through time it has a systemic
effect on your overall. Health and wellbeing so the other side,
Of it is i've learned that if we can find
things where we're not asking you to do, one other
thing what either can we take away that's keeping you
from getting your goals or what are you already doing
that you.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
Could do better it's hard to, change consumer behavior so
you have.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
TO be additive, i THINK so And i think, laired
in particular was only drinking coffee, and then, REALIZED oh
wait i can use this practice as a way to
put some other stuff in this, that for him his
GOAL was now i can serve for FIVE hours because, i,
use fat which, by the way, yak butter tea which is.
An ancient practice none of, this, is new right people,
Were doing that so nobody's. Reinventing the wheel but it's,

(49:38):
sort of, saying oh okay we see, A lane here
we've got an opportunity and we can bring these values,
into this company and the, timing is right the, consumers informed,
enough they're ready and it's something me. Feel good about
i'm excited.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
TO try it i did not know that adding fat
to caffeine helps You, not have.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
Yeah you, don't freak out you don't. Get the jitters
be a really quick. TOTORY about coffee i didn't. Start
drinking coffee tot was forty five until we started this business.
TEN years ago. I like caffeine i just didn't like to.
Taste of coffee and so when We Created, A larry
super larry, would be, like try. This try THAT so
what i do is basically a couple shots of espresso,
in hot chocolate pretty. Much, with FATS however what i

(50:18):
will say is when people, do drip coffee that's like
three shots of espresso. Worth a caffeine so everybody thinks
a shot, has more. Caffeine it doesn't they think dark roast,
has more. Caffeine it doesn't medium roast. Has more caffeine
so when something is roasted more or drip, sitting there longer.
That's more coffee so what happens you do, black drip.

(50:40):
Coffee that's acidic, it's been sitting you, Have no fat
you're getting, a stomach ache, you're jacked up you. Get
the shakes so by doing a dark roast or espresso,
in the fat you have a. Little less caffeine it
probably is. Not as acidic and then you put the
fat and it binds with the caffeine and it goes slower.

(51:00):
Into your system what's.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Your philosophy on?

Speaker 3 (51:02):
Having, a scale oh a scale? You, away yourself yeah it.
COMES and goes i use it, as a reference but
this goes back TO how? Do i FEEL how do i?
Look in THERE how? Do i look how do? My
clothes feel how's? My energy LEVELS how? Am i sleeping this.
Is first principles now, is it, like oh WELL why
am i consistently gaining? These extra pounds? What's going on is?
My stress high because by the way that'll put, the

(51:24):
weight on you could have. The same practice you could
be changing age and you need to tweak something. Here
and there so if you can use it as, an,
Objective reference fine if it's something that you use that,
JUST torments you i would say that torment is actually
having a negative impact, on your physiology that it's. Not
worth it the other thing is people aren't. Honest with

(51:45):
themselves even, when, They think oh i'm going To track,
what i'm eating they usually under report unless they're writing
it down twenty five percent of the amount of calories
they're intaking because they forgot about oh that ONE little
thing i shoved in my mouth or. Things like THAT
so what i want to say TO people is i
approach it with both one hundred percent, accountability and grace
because if you, don't have grace you're just kicking. Your

(52:06):
own ass so you want to, give yourself grace but, don't,
bullshit yourself, like be. Honest be straight are you? Doing
the work are you? Eating the thing are you out
with the? Girls having, martini it's, LIKE come on i
want to. Look like, that it's like do you? Want
to really do you want to?

Speaker 2 (52:20):
Do the work do you talk to your? Girls?

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Like this yes but way down in the conversation it's
usually pretty, loving and, nurturing pretty direct but from. A
loving PLACE and then i might get to A place, where,
i GO hey can i say something to you and
not as your mom but as a PERSON like and
i try to couch it in a way that they
can then explore that. Idea for themselves.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
My mom talks to me like she doesn't tweeting.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
It at.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
All, she doesn't.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
NO it's interesting i think it's a, blessing, and occurs well.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
JUST depends because i have kind of such a direct
tone all, THE time already i really try to keep
SOFTENING things because i am, there only MOM and so
i want to.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Be their mom i've heard you talk about. Softening your,
EDGES oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
I need to i'm getting better at sort of realizing.
Like it's okay one of my driving forces in my
LIFE is like i would like to be, a decent
person and so that requires being. Kind and loving AND
just because, i can, take you know the brute, force
and like oh, grind it out doesn't mean everybody else is.
Operating that WAY and so i try to take that

(53:29):
Into account when i'm. Communicating with people, and you, Know
funny enough i've EVEN said sometimes i think about this,
on My podcast, where i'm, Like you know i'm not
going to tell you. What to do i'll invite you.
All dose, stuff AND finally sometimes i, want to say and,
BY the way i don't care if, you Do it because,
I'm doing it like if you want to do. IT
for yourself i, think it's GREAT but what i really feel, inside,

(53:51):
is like okay. That's ON you so i think part of, me,
is like hey, I'll be here i'll. Be with you let's.
Do it together and then at, a certain point if,
you're not. Ready it's cool.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
Did you like being? A professional athlete are you happy?
WITH the path i.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Feel really, fortunate you know this IS one thing i want.
To remind people your life will find you no matter
what if you just keep following your voice, and your
instinct and when, the door's open even, if you're scared if,
you go through your life's going. To find you because
if you said to, me at fifteen as a Kid
from THE caribbean that i would have gone and played

(54:28):
volleyball and as a college athlete, and a professional it
was never. In THE cards never i should have worked at.
A gift shop THAT'S probably what i thought was. GOING
to happen i didn't have an idea about having an
opportunity to be in a long marriage or be in
A workspace where i could TALK about something i really love.

(54:49):
AND believe, In, i thought okay we'll. See WHAT happens
so i think that's something really, important for people no
matter where, you come from no matter where even who
wronged you or what didn't work. Out for you if you're,
willing to work if you're willing to listen, to your
voice if you're willing to be honest with yourself and
go through the doors, when you're scared your life finds

(55:11):
you in all the ways your. Partner finds you if that's,
what you want. That's the thing you don't have to
want that that doesn't. Make us complete but if that's,
what you want. It'll find you your. Life finds, you
it does. It finds you it's. There for us we just.
Have to trust and it is. Scary AND hard and
i can sit here with three daughters and a husband

(55:33):
and all this rhetoric of the, resume behind ME and
as i go one step in front, of the other, It's,
still like okay that's. What we're doing, we're in school
that's what we're, doing down here and we're. Loving EACH
other and i think we make it really complicated when
you have a little kid and they're going from one
room to the next and they run like if they're
like two and, a half three and you're not worried

(55:54):
that they're about, to, eat it right and when you,
listen to that or you sit at a table with
people you love and you listen to like laughter and
food and, things like that or you're going to bed
at night and everyone's in the house and everyone's safe.
And it's good it's not much. More than that now
we do all these other things, to entertain us to

(56:16):
challenge us to, have creative. Expression that's great but what
life is really about. Is so simple and if we
can keep those two things space for, both of, them
you know it's, like a tree right they say the,
roots go deep but why? Not how high and why can?
The BRANCHES go and i really think that stay grounded
and then reach for whatever it is that you feel

(56:38):
inspired to reach for and be willing to kind of,
Eat shit on like are you willing every day to
stand up and wake up for those relationships? And that
dream and, if you are then. Go for. It that's
good and, if you're not if you're just doing it
because someone your parents, think you should or you have a,
boss or whatever it's not the way because even, when

(56:59):
it's good. It's still challenging and that.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Was so beautiful thank, you, For, that well.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
Yeah that's, just you know, live FIVE minutes and i
think most PEOPLE know that i.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
Have some rapid. Fire, for You okay.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
The queen of question time for.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
You has laired got you?

Speaker 3 (57:17):
Into the, ocean oh yeah my mother TRAINED dolphins when i.
Was a kid it's, a WEIRD thing but i grew
Up In. The virgin, Island but yes. I've gone surfing
laird's got me. In THE ocean but i think the
thing that connects us is nature and water. And island
mentality if.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
You had five dollars to invest, in your health what's
a healthy decision?

Speaker 3 (57:38):
You, can make oh just save your money and go.
To bed early you're not going to get anything. For
five dollars how?

Speaker 2 (57:43):
About fifty bucks if you have.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Not trained and you don't know, how to train either
buy it online or hire somebody to teach you a
couple things so you get comfortable, and, YOU know okay i.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Can start there how about five thousand?

Speaker 3 (57:56):
Dollars for me the money isn't going to get you where.
You want. To gounless you we need to go to
a therapist and understand why you. Haven't done it cheapest
thing every day. You wake UP first thing i used
to say, if you said, What's the order it's a
nutrition movement community. All, these things okay, Sunlight is first
so blue light non. Native blue light so the blue

(58:19):
light that comes from our phones and our computers and
all the EMFs and, all the LEDs that is hurting
our health and our spirit in a way that. We
don't understand so if you can wake up every day and,
look at sunlight even if you live, in a city
you set. Your, body up okay your melatonin gets released,
through your eyeball, tells, your body hey in, about fourteen hours.

(58:40):
Release your melatonin it sets. Your, circadian rhythm sunlight don't,
snack so much shorten, your eating window and try to
move and. Huff and PUFF that's. What i say. Twice
a week move in a way that you huff and.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Puff something you absolutely have. No patience.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
FOR go off i just don't like. The victim mentality
if we, want to say. It's not fair you know there's,
an old saying if, you want fair go. To the
fairground life. Is not fair i'm not smart enough. To
UNDERSTAND why all i can do is control this right
here and go what Are the? Things i'm Doing i'm
saying I'm thinking and I'M believing that i can participate

(59:17):
in making this THE way that. I WANT it and i,
Don't like bullies so victim mentality and bullying in the
sense of real bullying because you can because that person. Won't,
fight back now if you're a bully and you, Pick another,
bully i'm. Down no problem those two things. REALLY tweak
me i.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Love your podcast what's the first episode that you would?

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Point someone to it just.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
Depends what, you're INTERESTED in because i have really sciencey
people if. YOU'RE into that i have a lot of.
Mental health people so if you want to talk more,
ABOUT mental health i, have some big muscle heady guys that.
Talk about science so it's really what. YOU'RE interested in
i have a lot. Of great guests it's more, about
you know people are drawn to things in their life because.
They're wrestling, it and, so for example most MENTAL health people,

(01:00:05):
i talk to they're still trying To figure out most relationship,
experts guess what they're trying to. Figure OUT relationships so
i think it's also understanding the thing that we're intrigued
in is the problem we're still. TRYING to solve i just.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
LEARNED that lesson i had a therapist who basically asked me.
MY deepest fear i came, up with loneliness, and, she
goes oh that's so interesting because you've built a whole career.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
Out of connection which is the antidote? Or the opposite?
What was yours it's.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
A great question i think my thing has, always been
like do, it really well, be really good never separate
because you're, a. TEAM player right i come, From a team, so,
pursue excellence grind do, all the stuff but don't take,
too much space don't take. Too much air that's even
interesting Being. MARRIED to laired a Lot of times i'm

(01:00:53):
Happy to elevate laired. And BE behind so i, think
for me it's more about kind of don't, worry about
it follow you, want to do and don't govern it too.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Much and quite literally.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
Take UP space Yeah i know i'm. DOING it already
i might as well do it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
All the way one thing every woman.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
SHOULD try once i just think as you get older,
as a woman you should try more than once. To
BE silly and, i don't, mean you know Drunk on
a wednesday and a. GIRL'S night out, i mean like
don't let it all bury you because it can the.
Details OF life? Am i perfect, just be, silly be

(01:01:32):
playful and use your life's experience to give, you more freedom.
Not confine you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
What's a book you've read that changed your mind or
changed your life that you think. Everybody, Could read.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
Well i've read a lot of books that have changed
my mind about a. Lot of things one of them
was that, was really helpful especially navigating some, things about
parenting which then bled across to everything was A Book
by Byron Katie, Called the work and she, Has four questions?
Is IT true can i know?

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
To be?

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
True for SURE who? AM i want i? Think those
thoughts AND who would i be? Without THAT belief and
i think for all of us this idea? Of the
narrative do we live? By our narratives and if we
can get out of that from? Time to time and
she talks about past futuring. NOT doing that i think
that was really a great starting. POINT for me i

(01:02:20):
could apply that, to my business to, my love life to,
my fitness life to my relationship, with my children and.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
It's, really liberating, hey last question grab a Card From
the question everything card game whicheveryone calls.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
You question everything, here you go how would you describe yourself? To,
a stranger, oh my gosh is?

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
That?

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
For real. Consistent so boring i'll tell, you, one thing
really and we'll end. THIS with this i went and
saw a guy recently and he, Said, to me gabby
you know you've been using your. Legs for everything, up, the,
hill grind, Step stop, grind he goes why don't you try?
Using YOUR wings and i think sometimes we, work so
hard we get mired. In the details we're trying to show,

(01:03:02):
up for everybody but sometimes if we can give ourselves permission.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
To let it thank, you for that thank you, for
joining us thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
For, having me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
Okay you know what.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Time it is today's, a good day to have. A
good day i'll see. You next week