October 17, 2025 • 40 mins
In this bonus episode of Selective Ignorance, host Mandii B takes listeners on an introspective and thought-provoking journey through the concept of selective ignorance—the conscious choice to disengage from certain realities for the sake of peace, perspective, or personal growth. The episode opens with an introduction to the philosophy behind selective ignorance [00:00], as Mandii breaks down how people often tune out overwhelming information or societal pressures to protect their mental well-being. She shares personal anecdotes that highlight when ignoring the noise can be both a strength and a survival skill in today’s overstimulated world.
The conversation then transitions to parenting and the challenges of managing children in public spaces [02:24], where Mandii explores the delicate balance between judgment and empathy. Through humor and honesty, she discusses how parents navigate public expectations, social media critiques, and their own inner battles when children act out. This segment offers both relatable and raw insight into the societal double standards placed on mothers, especially when it comes to discipline and public behavior.
From there, Mandii examines the role of accents and speech in professional settings [12:36], addressing how language and tone often shape people’s perceptions of intelligence, competence, and credibility. She raises powerful questions about authenticity versus assimilation, sharing personal experiences and listener observations that reveal the hidden biases professionals face. This section challenges listeners to consider how often they “code-switch” to fit into spaces that don’t always make room for their full identities.
As the episode deepens, Mandii shifts into one of her most candid and emotional conversations yet—a discussion on the complexities of abortion decisions [22:03]. With compassion and sensitivity, she explores the emotional, moral, and societal layers surrounding reproductive choices, including the stigma and isolation many face in silence. She unpacks the conflicting narratives around bodily autonomy, judgment, and faith, urging listeners to approach these discussions with empathy rather than condemnation.
Closing the episode, Mandii reflects on the importance of staying engaged yet intentional about what we choose to absorb [36:20]. She encourages her audience to practice mindful awareness—choosing understanding over outrage, empathy over ignorance, and dialogue over division.
This intimate and reflective installment of Selective Ignorance captures Mandii B at her most vulnerable and insightful, blending storytelling, social commentary, and emotional depth to remind listeners that sometimes, knowing when to tune out is just as powerful as speaking up.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Mandy be Welcome to Selective Ignorance, a production
of the Black Eppec podcast network and iHeartRadio. Hey, welcome
to a bonus episode, but another episode of Selective Ignorance.
And I'm really excited because this is gonna be a
little something new that I'm starting because I want to
bring the classmates into the episode's more so, I'm like, Okay,
(00:24):
I know my audience kind of thinks I'm ignorant, sometimes selectively,
but I would love for them to dig deep into
bringing me their ignorant moments. So this episode is am
I ignorant? And I'm pulling some topics that I found
online through the Reddit threads, the deep dark Web, and
(00:45):
I'm gonna share my opinions on where they're selectively ignorant,
but also just show you how selectively ignorant we are
as people, whether you think it's from morals, ethical bounds,
or even just maybe not be a way in which
you would do something. So I'm asking you before we
start this episode to make sure you leave a comment, rate, subscribe,
(01:08):
review wherever you listen or watch. Yes, you can see
the full episode over on Patreon at Patreon dot com.
Backslash Selective Ignorance. But you can also get AD free audio.
That's right if you're listening to this on any of
the DSPs, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, wherever, and
(01:29):
you're like, bitch, all these goddamn ads, I just can't deal. Well,
for just five dollars a month, you can not only
help me continue putting out more content for this platform,
but you get AD free audio and you get the
videos on Tuesdays. I'm also doing the full video for
(01:49):
the bonus episodes like this one over on Patreon, so
make sure you go on over and join now. In
order to bring you little nigglets in, I need to
know what ignorant thoughts, ignorant moments, ignorant dilemmas you are
having in your life, so make sure you send that
on over to the email. It's Selective Ignorance pod pod
(02:12):
at gmail dot com. So am I ignorant? Put it
in the title let me know your dilemma, and I'm
excited to read it here Now before we start this week,
I'm going to actually lean into my ignorant moment, which
only let me know was ignorant because the same thing
(02:33):
happened to a woman who decided to post a video
online share it and I went through the comments and
I was like, damn, bitch, was I ignorant? So anyways,
I am currently shopping for a studio space here in Atlanta,
and last week I linked up with my friend's side. Y'all,
I've heard him on the podcast before, and I was like, Okay,
(02:55):
let me look through this office space because I'm really
looking to get a home for Selective Ignorance. Yes, shout
out to Black Effects and the iHeart Studios, but baby,
I need my own look, I need my own jug.
So I'm currently looking for a podcast studio here in Atlanta.
And so I met him at this food court. It
is like twelve thirty in the afternoon. School is back,
(03:21):
So what does my mind think? No kids anywhere until
after two? That's like my mind during the week. Listen,
I am confused between September in May when I see
children out roaming the world when it's school time, because bitch,
why are they not in school? But then I forgot
there's some kids that is too young for school. So anyways,
(03:44):
I go into this food court and baby, I hear
this baby cry cry is so much a bitch wanted
to call CPS because at this point it's given child abuse.
Why is your baby crying? That's so goddamn much like,
and yes, for y'all listening, I do not have children.
(04:05):
I get this, I get this, I know and do
I want any No, I don't want any kids. But
to be out in a public setting and this baby
be crying. I know babies cry, but I also know
that parents have to parent, right. So I'm literally just
like really upset, and I'm talking to all the people
(04:27):
that work there, like goddamn this, this goddamn baby is screaming.
Then I felt even worse because I look over into
black baby, and I don't like complaining about black people,
like to just other people, you know what I mean, Like,
you don't want us to talk about us. So in
my mind I was like, damn, Mitch, why a baby
had to be black? That's literally what I'm thinking, because
(04:50):
selectively ignorant, I would have been able to talk motion
about a baby if it was like a white baby
or just another baby. But I was like, God, damn,
why she ain't parented. So then I immediately go to
start thinking like, okay, bitch, shut your little baby up now.
As a woman with no kids. I don't know if
that's how it works. I really don't. So we end
(05:13):
up having this whole conversation over my and now this
is gonna be childish. I was eating a bi ass
tunea milk and this baby just wouldn't shut up, so
we ended up leaving. Right, anyways, I want to play
this clip from something that I saw going viral this week,
and I'm gonna read some of the comments under it
(05:36):
that made me feel like maybe I was maybe I
was wrong for feeling the way I felt. But bitch,
I'm allowed to have feelings. So here's the clip, and
I can't wait to hear what you guys think. But
this is what happened. But here is telling me to
tell my eight months old to stop screaming tause he
(05:59):
has to because he has sense of the ears. I
know it's loud. Oh, he's an adult. We can leave,
and he chooses not to leave. He's choosing me to
tell me to take my baby off. First off, did
y'all hear that scream? Oh my god, I cringed, yesh.
So here's where my mind goes, right, These adults are
(06:26):
paying to be there, right, And the response to this
mother was well, you could just leave, because if you
don't want to hear it, you could go. And a
part of me just thinks, first off, that baby not
paying for nothing. That baby is just sitting there. That
(06:47):
baby didn't even have no food in front of it.
We're not even gonna talk about how in this particular video,
she also had two other kids just running around a
goddamn place, So it's given bad parenting all in all, Like, bitch,
you got three kids under five? What's happening? I will
say this white man did try it. She confronted him
(07:09):
or whatever whenever, sorry, y'all hear the sirens. She went
over there, and he decided to say it was trifling.
He pretty much dug at. He don't know what. Man
hurt her? And I get it because you're seeing this
woman not being able to really get a grasp on
(07:30):
the three children that she has alone. She claims her
husband was at home and she's been happily married for
ten years. Was she I don't know, you know, we
don't know that much details, but a part of me
does want to ask, y'all because help me not be
so ignorant. If you have children that seemingly don't know
(07:54):
how to behave in public settings. Why is it for
the people who choose not to have kids to have
to deal with your badass, untamable loud as children like
(08:17):
that is a serious question, and this is because I'm
trying not to be so ignorant in it. Is there
an answer for that as to why the rest of
the world, who did not push that baby out there,
Kuchi had to deal with the ramifications of your bad
parenting because you can't keep that child well behaved. And
(08:39):
I say that because I have friends who literally have
children who when we go out, don't sit there and
scream the whole time. So I get the idea that, well,
that's just what babies do, But no, bitch, all babies
don't do that. Where's the passifi? What is the bottle?
Where is the toy? Where is the iPad? And so
(09:03):
I wanted to bring that to the podcast this week
because that was my moment where I literally was up
fucking set, motherfucking had a whole conversation with my friends.
Then I was like reading the comments and they was
talking about the white man. Now, I also feel like
against selective ignorance. I feel like if this was black
(09:25):
women on black women. Black maybe not black man on
black women. Who we under that. I feel like if
it was a black woman telling another black woman like, yo,
this is crazy, I do wonder if this would have
been handled or received differently. I wonder also if she
was just like, I know, this white man with all
his privilege, ain't gonna tell my kid what to do.
(09:47):
Because to be fair, she did bring up the privilege
of this man now in the comments, shout out to
Tony Baker because he did say that as a parent
when my babies were lied in public, which was where
I've removed them easy work. Tia also was like apparently
(10:08):
aligned with me or not really, she said, sweetheart, by
the looks of the other patrons, no one wanted to
listen to your beautiful baby scream. This isn't a child
free world. But when you realize that your infant is
disturbing the peace, then you should sue the infant or
you should leave now. Now, a lot of people in
here again was like coming for him, saying that it
(10:34):
shouldn't be that. Also, oh my god, not this moral
of the story. Don't be a black woman in the
world without a man. Jee us I don't know. I
don't know there was an employee that de escalated the situation.
I know that there's been other conversations about babies being
allowed in first class. Delta. Gonna have to hear from
(10:55):
me if I have a baby screaming in first class,
I don't care if you pay for that little motherfucker seat.
Crying babies are for economy, period. That's where the people.
The people can't complain in economy because they in the economy.
They in the back of the in the back of
the plane first class. You should not be able to
(11:17):
bring a terrible two of crying as screaming as baby
in first class. I don't care how wealthy you are.
Take your eyes back to fucking economy. Somebody said, the
lady in the back is taking me out. See yeah,
hand over my mouth. I've shut my nieces up before. Okay, okay, okay,
this the baby is eight months old, are y'all slow?
(11:43):
I don't care if the baby just came out to kochie.
I don't care if the baby two weeks old and
don't really know what's going on in the world because
it's been swimming in gush and blood for the last
nine months bacon in the oven if I'm out enjoying
dirt tastes of macha because I decided I was gonna
(12:03):
go work. I don't want to hear your screaming baby.
I just don't. I just don't. It's crazy because further investigating,
and I don't know if it's the algorithm, but it
seems total toed with how people think. I know that
that's like one of my ignorant thoughts. But y'all know
I'm real ignorant when it comes to my thoughts and
(12:25):
views around children. I thought I would share that. I
would love to know y'all's thoughts. Drop them in the comments.
If you're a patron, head on over to the discord.
I want to know, if you're a parent and you
have a screaming ass kid, is everybody around just supposed
to be okay with your screaming as kid because it's
a kid, or should you go ahead and remove yourself
(12:48):
from the establishment. I would like to know. Until then,
I'm gonna selectively choose to be ignorant and tell you
take that baby elsewhere. I don't want to hear kids nowhere,
just absolutely nowhere. And so yeah, if you have a
moment like that, like this week, where you're driving behind
(13:11):
a slow car. This is just an example, and this
is gonna sound real ignorant, but bear with me here.
If you're driving behind a car and your mind immediately
goes to a certain race and you literally look inside
the window when you pass that vehicle to see if
it was a certain race, let me know. This is
(13:35):
the honesty that we need if we want to overcome
our ignorance in this world. Okay, speaking of which, I'm
gonna get into this letter. This is again things that
I would like y'all to send in because I can't
wait to share with the rest of the world y'all's
ignorant thoughts. Now, this one is interesting and I'm gonna
(13:56):
share with you guys my thoughts. I would also love
to know y'all's. So this is a friend wondering if
they were wrong for telling their other friend to change
their accent for professional advances. Hear me out, let's get
(14:20):
into it. My friend and I work in entertainment as performers.
Spanish is her first language, but she's been speaking English
since she was a little kid. A year ago, we
were doing a musical together and she got the main
female lead. About a month before opening night, she'd been
(14:41):
moved from the lead to understudy, and they told her
it was because her accent and she was messing up
too many words. Cut to the present year and we
were auditioning for a show together and we needed to
film a self tape. She hadn't worked on her accent
at all. Now, y'all know, when I get into the
doing some accents, I'm not too good, but I'm gonna
(15:03):
do it for of course, the reason of this pod. Okay,
the side they sent us had the words start and
several times, but because of her accent, she was saying sharks. Now,
I don't know what Spanish where in Spain, Spanish, Mexico,
Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, because all of the Spanish is
(15:26):
be different, like Spanish just ate the same, like Spanish, yes,
is the main language, but the Spanishes be different, like
you know, like is it European Spanish, is it Caribbean Spanish,
is it Mexican Spanish? Different Spanishes. She ain't say which Spanish,
so I don't know which one would say shark, but
I'm thinking European Spanish because that's the least amount of
(15:48):
Spanish people. I know, so we gonna say shot shot.
That was like Italian, bitch, don't mind me. When she
saw the look on my face, she asked me what
was wrong, and I told her that she was mispronouncing
the word and that she definitely didn't want to send
in an audition saying the word shirt. I told her
(16:09):
maybe she should work on her accent if she wanted
to get more roles, and she got upset with me
and then submitted the audition as is. We heard back
from that audition and I got cast while she didn't.
This hasn't happened before, where we would audition for the
same stuff, but one of us would get cast while
the other wasn't, and it's never been an issue. This
(16:31):
time it was different, and I'm pretty sure it's because
of my comment. While I didn't say anything, I was
certain she didn't get cast because of her accent. Later
I found out from a mutual friend that I was right.
She had emailed casting basically asking in a professional manner
why she didn't get picked and what she could do
later to improve her auditions, and they told her that
(16:52):
they really liked her audition and she was a strong actor.
But her accent was too strong, and wondering if what
I did was wrong or if she's taking her frustrations
out on me. Okay, okay, so a few things right. Yes,
(17:15):
you could work on accents, like bitch, I'm from Florida,
I got an accent, and I know that I've had
to work on how I speak. Now. Have I been
offended at someone saying I should change up how I
talk in order to get or do anything professionally? Hell, motherfucking.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Hell.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yes. I think anyone who came here from another country
who's being told to work on their accent when also
learning a different language is already hard as fuck. Like,
I get it, I understand her offense. Were you wrong? No?
(17:59):
I know, Oh, I know. I know that in certain places,
acting and being on stage, being one of them speaking
into a microphone and having people need to understand you,
or hosting an event or going on a panel, there's
a certain inflection that you want to have, or if
you're being hired, somebody would like you to have so
that whatever you are saying is conveyed properly in front
(18:23):
of everybody. Now here's the thing, and I done said
it on an episode. If y'all listen to it with Carla.
You have to realize that most people want to be
lied to. Most people don't want to hear the truth
that just is what it is. Most people are sensitive,
(18:44):
and so for people like me and possibly people like
this person who wrote this, you gonna be a villain
in somebody book. And so I think what we end
up when I talk about being ignorant, right, Sometimes it's
(19:05):
you questioning in your mind if you shouldn't do something
before you do it. The ignorant part is when you
know you shouldn't do it, but you do it anyways,
you know what I mean. And so for this, you
kind of felt it was something keeping her from something,
and you didn't say anything last year. This year you're like, bitch,
(19:25):
you might need to work on this now. For me,
if you, if you speak up and say something knowing
that someone's going to receive it a certain way, you
as a human being, had to just bear the consequences
on that one again, knowing that people are gonna be sensitive,
(19:48):
knowing that people may not receive things the way even
that you intend you are genuinely trying to help her.
Does she take it that way?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Could it have been in the moment that she was
frustrated and let it on you. Yes, two things can
be true. Now, Manu, I think this is funny, just
a little bit. But I understand that people work heavy
to hide their accents, specifically that Kubanos that want to
be a Republican. But we're not gonna get into that either.
(20:18):
I don't believe you're wrong. However, you are also asking
someone who is equally ignorant and doesn't often I don't
want to say care, but often knows that what I'm
gonna say may not be received the best way. I
(20:41):
don't think you're wrong. I do think that she was
taking her frustrations out on me, how on you. However,
I do believe that this will be something that you
can overcome, and I do think you need to say
it again. That's right, say it again, say it with
your chest next time. Hey, bitch, you want me to
(21:02):
help you with your accent? Now, no one would ever
ask me to help them with their accent. But I
think the next thing that you could do is, instead
of telling her she should work on it, is maybe
help her. That's how you could make things better. I
feel like you know why not y'all let me know
if you agree. Again, leave it in the comments, head
(21:23):
on over to the discord, or again, make sure you
send in your letters so we could do more of
these with real people, maybe even get y'all to start
calling in like the Crash Dummies podcast. I want to
make this a full lesson on selective ignorance. I want
us to work through our dilemmas with communicating with people
(21:44):
and you know, ethics and morals and all these things
that we battle with because you know, two things can
be two things can be through. You know two things
can be through, all right, This one is a little lengthy.
This next one, trigger warning, has to deal with the
(22:06):
topic of abortion. Yes, bitch, I had to drink to
that one. Speaking of if you haven't yet, make sure
you get my book, Noah's Barred, a dull manifesto of
sexual exploration and power. That's right. It is available wherever
you purchase books. So this one is interesting because again,
(22:30):
selective ignorance has to deal with us battling what we
know to be right and what we know to be wrong,
and sometimes choosing the part that we know is wrong,
but we're willing to live with the consequences, and so
this one is really interesting. And this deals with romantic
(22:51):
moral dilemmas, internal struggle, and how the hell women are
so resilient. Let's get into it. So found out I,
a twenty four year old female, was pregnant yesterday, evening
alone in the bathroom of a Crumble Cookie USA bluestate.
(23:15):
Now that's where you first went wrong. Bitsh them crumble cookies?
Is not it? Dim things can just crumble on a way.
Not interested, don't want it. Y'all will never hear a
crumble cookie.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Dad.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Here, I'll tell you it. Autumn goddamn calories, all right?
Deep down I knew the sore breasts and intense morning
sickness are what led me to spontaneously take the test,
but I didn't think a positive result was possible for me.
I have had massively irregular periods since starting my menstrual
(23:47):
cycle at fourteen, having only one functioning ovary, and quite
religiously taking my birth control. My partner, a twenty eight
year old male, and I have been together for six years.
I adore him and will certainly marry him and plan
a family of our own someday. We are actually in
(24:08):
the most difficult and stressful era in our relationship we've
ever experienced. This is strictly due to financial hardships outside
of our control. Bitch, we had a recession. This might
be the year that I have witnessed the most people
in a financial hardship. Okay, so girl, you are not alone.
(24:30):
We both recently moved back home with our respective families,
and while he is in a safe environment, I am
living in a very abusive household without a soul in
my corner. Every day has been focused on survival for
me and a plan of escape. I have decided not
to tell my partner as one of the biggest aspirations
(24:51):
in life has always been fatherhood. Oh bitch, now he
want to be a daddy. I know I cannot emotionally
handle any sort of indirect or subconscious coercion from him,
or I will carry this baby to term, subsequently regretting
it for the rest of our lives. Despite being pro
(25:12):
choice himself, I know that this is what I would
be up against at a minimum if I informed him. Ooh,
he's pro choice. But bitch, he wanted to be a daddy.
So again, let's be real. We know we side. He
would teeter on. At the worst, he would end our
At the worst, he would end our relationship and resent
(25:33):
me for robbing him of a chance at being a dad.
I am not willing to lose him over this, and
would rather subject myself to total emotional isolation than to take
the risk at all. Oh bitch, He's truly that great
of a man, and I would do anything to protect
him from unnecessary emotional pain coming from a broken home.
(25:55):
It was always imperative to me that I took the
traditional steps to motherhood, only play when we were financially, emotionally,
and spiritually ready. I find myself already emotionally attached to
this clump of cells. I secretly hold my tumuey at
night under my blankets, silently sobbing into my pillow, imagining
what could be. I've been one hundred percent decided from
(26:18):
the very beginning, even before conception, that I would never
bring a child into this mess that I wasn't capable
of caring for in all aspects. My baby deserves the
best version of me, and right now I am far
from it. This doesn't make the decision any lighter for me,
but reading all of your experiences and stories has really
brought me comfort that nothing else has been able to.
(26:41):
I have my first appointment with planned parenthood today and
will establish how far along I am. I'm predicting somewhere
between four to seven weeks. Ooh, bitch, good thing you
live in a blue state. In the back of my mind,
I have already decided on SA was twilight sedation. No,
I don't know what SA mean, but okay, anything mimicking
(27:04):
a miscarriage is going to emotionally destroy me and possibly
kick me off into ooh, trigger Warren suicidal ideation. Here's
the thing, y'all. I plan to say yes to all
information that most people don't seem to want, saying yes
to how far along I am, wanting to know if
(27:25):
there's multiples and a copy of the ultrasound. I need everything.
I don't care if it's unhealthy, and I know this
will probably lead to more mental torture, but I plan
to put it all in a small box with my
pregnancy tests. This is my weird way of grieving. I
guess I didn't want to be the only one who
knows about my baby, so I felt compelled to write
(27:48):
into the ABYSS in hopes at least one of you
can relate or feel less alone in some way. Baby
maybe baby, favorite baby, favorite baby, baby, babit ooh there's
a baby. Ooh, I don't know if that landed. I
don't know why I went there. Okay, tricky here, because say,
(28:10):
even you get to a place with this man where
you're emotional, financial, and spiritually ready for this baby, you
move forward with having a baby, and you tell him
down the line that you aborted a baby without even
his knowledge, without his consideration. I just wonder, like to me,
(28:35):
do you wonder if it's a i'll tell later thing?
This is one of these absolutely selectively ignorant decisions because
you know that you're wrong as hell for not telling him.
And what's crazy is where I am pro choice. You
(28:57):
both laid in bed together and knew the consequences of
the baby when you're there. While I believe in a woman, yes,
being able to make the final decision. This might be
ignorant to say I believe you should tell the man,
but I do believe it's your right to do what
(29:18):
you want to do, even if the man don't want
to do it. That's where again I teeter with a
bit of what's right and wrong as a woman. You
ain't gonna tell me what to do with my body.
If I don't want this baby, I ain't gonna have it.
I do, however, subconsciously, subconsciously feel like a man should
be at least notified, It should at least be a conversation.
(29:45):
And to me, if you don't feel in the right
to hold this space of a conversation for this type
of this huge monumental thing, is this a nigga you
need to be laying up with? Is this you need
to be in a relationship with? I mean, if you
can hold this as a secret and lie about this
(30:07):
and be so distraught as to being able to even
come to him and have this conversation as grown ass adults,
because twenty four to twenty eight, y'all grown. What else
would you lie about? What else would you hide? Like this?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Is?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
This?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Is?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
This is kind of tricky. Now, Yes, it's crazy because
in your mind you don't want to hurt him. Is
it not inevitable for him to be hurt? You're literally
saving all of this information. You're gonna know how many
weeks you were. You're saving a copy of the ultra sound,
You're saving the pregnancy test. This almost reminds me bitch,
(30:50):
And maybe because I was just watching it last night.
I watch a monster. This reminds me of the serial
killers that choose to like save Oh and listen. I
don't think abortion is killing a baby. Don't listen. But
you like keeping all the things but keeping it a secret.
And look, this is where my mind goes. I don't
think you will say real killses. I don't think anybody
(31:11):
who has an abortion is a killer. Don't think you
a murderer. I find it weird though, that you're holding
the secret. You're going through all this alone. You're not
letting anyone know specifically the partner that you had the
baby with, but you're keeping all of the items. To me,
that leads me to believe you will tell him eventually,
which to me, what is the saying just rip off
(31:33):
the band aid? Because I would hate for you to
be in a more emotional, mental, spiritual, financial better space.
You choose to build a family down the line, this
comes out and then this comes back to haunt you.
(31:53):
I do feel like we need to be in a
space of at least laying with some niggas that we
could talk to. Y'all, we know the consequences of unprotected sex.
It's a baby or a disease, or hopefully or orgasm
oftentimes not so if we know that you're gonna be
(32:19):
pleased or unpleased, and whether you're pleased or unbleased, you
hold and bear the risk of nothing happening, a baby happening,
or STD happening. I would at least hope that you
would be in a space to be able to hold
that those three conversations, whether there's nothing that y'all want
to do it again, whether a baby comes, or whether
you got a little itching and burning and they I
(32:40):
gotta go get tested to be able to have that
conversation with whatever man you laying up with. It's also
crazy to me that y'all be going on the internet,
just writing this whole shit out, but can't talk to
the person in your life that you adore, that you love,
that you believe is truly a great man that you
(33:04):
would do anything to protect. I also think that that's
crazy too, This idea of secrets and white lies or
FIBs or whatever you want to call them, as the
idea of protecting another person. We gotta let that go.
(33:32):
We cannot fully believe that our wrongdoings and not sharing
them with the people who are directly impacted and directly involved,
that were protecting them by not sharing how they're involved
or something that if they eventually find out, will hurt
them down the line. It's not up to you. You're
(33:54):
not protecting them. You are making the choice and decision
to do this knowing inevitably when if he finds out,
and it sounds like it's an inevitable because you're keeping
this small box with all of the evidence, why you
(34:14):
wouldn't just want to tear the band aid off classmates again?
In your mind, you know what's right and wrong in
your mind, you know how what you're gonna say or
what you're gonna do, how it's gonna impact whoever it's
gonna affect. Right, saying with your motherfucker chest, y'all gotta
(34:35):
start saying shit with your chests. That's gonna be the
moral of this. It's gonna be the moral of a
lot of shit I say, because clearly I say a
lot of shit with my chests, and I be loud
or wrong sometimes, or at least to y'all. To me,
I'm right. To me, it makes sense to me and
I like to share parts of my story and my
upbringing and constantly lean into my geographical upbringing to allow
(34:59):
you to understand why my mind works the way it does.
A lot of our minds work differently. If you read
the book, I talk about a lot of it having
to do with genetics, psychological factors, such as you know,
how your parents navigate, what socioeconomic status you had growing
up Geographically there's different traditions and cultures that you're brought
(35:22):
into and all these things. H But we have to
start saying shit with our chests. You have to. If
you're gonna make the decision to do the bullshit you're
gonna do, you gotta be able to deal with the
bullshit coming your way from people judging you, from people
(35:43):
being hurt, from people having their opinion, because guess what
we live in fucking life world. It's life, that is
literally life. This is absolutely a moral dilemma. I think
you are absolutely selectively, ignorantly using here to lean into
(36:04):
this secret on the guys of protecting him from unnecessary
emotional pain. And so you're making that decision, and you're
choosing to lean into that bullshit little thin line down,
and so yeah, moving forward, guys, I'm really excited to
let y'all know that this will be one of the
(36:26):
new segments that I bring into Selective Ignorance. So every
Tuesday and every Friday, wrapping up the show, we're adding,
am I ignorant? Mitch? Tell me how selectively or real ignorant?
You know what I mean? So I do ask you
guys the listeners, and there's a lot of y'all. I'm
(36:48):
really excited that the number is going up ever, ever,
ever every week. But I'm excited to hear from y'all.
I want to know the type of people listening to
this shit and how ignorant y'all really are. So am
I ignorant? Put it in the title the subject line
of your email, and again that email is Selective Ignorance
(37:09):
pod at gmail dot com. Send it in. I'm also
working on getting a phone number for you guys to
leave voicemails. I really, really, really love voicemails. If you
guys are patrons over on horrible decisions, I do a
Mandy on the hotline. I would really love to start
doing live call ins too, thinking of making that a
(37:31):
patron feature, but really looking forward to talking through all
of these things that we deal with in our lives.
It's frustrating, it's chaotic, it sucks, it's real, and so yeah,
make sure you send those in again. If you support
(37:51):
what I'm doing, make sure you head on over and
subscribe to the YouTube channel. That's YouTube dot com backslash
with Mandybeet. Go head over and subscribe as well to Patreon.
If you're watching this video, that means you're already a patron.
That's Patreon dot com backslash Selective Ignorance. And yeah, this
has been great, and as always, I'm just really excited
(38:15):
to keep this going. Y'all. We are getting through this.
And I'm really excited too because on Fridays, I'm going
to start bringing some of my classmates on with me,
some very familiar voices, So stay tuned. I'm really, really,
really excited about what I'm going to be bringing to
content in the coming months, and hopefully y'all stick with
(38:39):
me again. Am I Ignorant? Send in your letters to
Selective Ignorance pod at gmail dot com. This is another
bonus episode of Selective Ignorance, where curiosity lives, controversy thrives,
and conversations matter. See you guys next week, and I'm
really excited because I'll be joined by one of my
(39:02):
Black Effect cousins. I got Glasses Malone joining me on
the pod. So make sure y'all check that out and
see you again right here every Tuesday and every Friday,
wherever you listen to podcasts, signing out, see you next week. Bye.
Selective Ignorance a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.
(39:25):
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Thanks for tuning in the Selective Ignorance with Mandy B.
Selective Ignorance. It's executive produced to buy Mandy B. And
it's a Full Court Media studio production with lead producers
Jason Mondriguez. That's me and Aaron A. King Howard. Now,
do us a favor and rate, Subscribe, comment, and share
wherever you get your favorite podcasts, and be sure to
follow Selective Ignorance on Instagram at Selective Underscore Ignorance. And
(39:55):
of course, if you're not following our hosts Mandy B,
make sure you're following her at Full Court Pumps Now
if you want the full video experience, a Selective ignorance.
Make sure you subscribe to the patreon It's patreon dot
com backslash selective ignorance
This is Mandy be Welcome to Selective Ignorance, a production
of the Black Eppec podcast network and iHeartRadio. Hey, welcome
to a bonus episode, but another episode of Selective Ignorance.
And I'm really excited because this is gonna be a
little something new that I'm starting because I want to
bring the classmates into the episode's more so, I'm like, Okay,
(00:24):
I know my audience kind of thinks I'm ignorant, sometimes selectively,
but I would love for them to dig deep into
bringing me their ignorant moments. So this episode is am
I ignorant? And I'm pulling some topics that I found
online through the Reddit threads, the deep dark Web, and
(00:45):
I'm gonna share my opinions on where they're selectively ignorant,
but also just show you how selectively ignorant we are
as people, whether you think it's from morals, ethical bounds,
or even just maybe not be a way in which
you would do something. So I'm asking you before we
start this episode to make sure you leave a comment, rate, subscribe,
(01:08):
review wherever you listen or watch. Yes, you can see
the full episode over on Patreon at Patreon dot com.
Backslash Selective Ignorance. But you can also get AD free audio.
That's right if you're listening to this on any of
the DSPs, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, wherever, and
(01:29):
you're like, bitch, all these goddamn ads, I just can't deal. Well,
for just five dollars a month, you can not only
help me continue putting out more content for this platform,
but you get AD free audio and you get the
videos on Tuesdays. I'm also doing the full video for
(01:49):
the bonus episodes like this one over on Patreon, so
make sure you go on over and join now. In
order to bring you little nigglets in, I need to
know what ignorant thoughts, ignorant moments, ignorant dilemmas you are
having in your life, so make sure you send that
on over to the email. It's Selective Ignorance pod pod
(02:12):
at gmail dot com. So am I ignorant? Put it
in the title let me know your dilemma, and I'm
excited to read it here Now before we start this week,
I'm going to actually lean into my ignorant moment, which
only let me know was ignorant because the same thing
(02:33):
happened to a woman who decided to post a video
online share it and I went through the comments and
I was like, damn, bitch, was I ignorant? So anyways,
I am currently shopping for a studio space here in Atlanta,
and last week I linked up with my friend's side. Y'all,
I've heard him on the podcast before, and I was like, Okay,
(02:55):
let me look through this office space because I'm really
looking to get a home for Selective Ignorance. Yes, shout
out to Black Effects and the iHeart Studios, but baby,
I need my own look, I need my own jug.
So I'm currently looking for a podcast studio here in Atlanta.
And so I met him at this food court. It
is like twelve thirty in the afternoon. School is back,
(03:21):
So what does my mind think? No kids anywhere until
after two? That's like my mind during the week. Listen,
I am confused between September in May when I see
children out roaming the world when it's school time, because bitch,
why are they not in school? But then I forgot
there's some kids that is too young for school. So anyways,
(03:44):
I go into this food court and baby, I hear
this baby cry cry is so much a bitch wanted
to call CPS because at this point it's given child abuse.
Why is your baby crying? That's so goddamn much like,
and yes, for y'all listening, I do not have children.
(04:05):
I get this, I get this, I know and do
I want any No, I don't want any kids. But
to be out in a public setting and this baby
be crying. I know babies cry, but I also know
that parents have to parent, right. So I'm literally just
like really upset, and I'm talking to all the people
(04:27):
that work there, like goddamn this, this goddamn baby is screaming.
Then I felt even worse because I look over into
black baby, and I don't like complaining about black people,
like to just other people, you know what I mean, Like,
you don't want us to talk about us. So in
my mind I was like, damn, Mitch, why a baby
had to be black? That's literally what I'm thinking, because
(04:50):
selectively ignorant, I would have been able to talk motion
about a baby if it was like a white baby
or just another baby. But I was like, God, damn,
why she ain't parented. So then I immediately go to
start thinking like, okay, bitch, shut your little baby up now.
As a woman with no kids. I don't know if
that's how it works. I really don't. So we end
(05:13):
up having this whole conversation over my and now this
is gonna be childish. I was eating a bi ass
tunea milk and this baby just wouldn't shut up, so
we ended up leaving. Right, anyways, I want to play
this clip from something that I saw going viral this week,
and I'm gonna read some of the comments under it
(05:36):
that made me feel like maybe I was maybe I
was wrong for feeling the way I felt. But bitch,
I'm allowed to have feelings. So here's the clip, and
I can't wait to hear what you guys think. But
this is what happened. But here is telling me to
tell my eight months old to stop screaming tause he
(05:59):
has to because he has sense of the ears. I
know it's loud. Oh, he's an adult. We can leave,
and he chooses not to leave. He's choosing me to
tell me to take my baby off. First off, did
y'all hear that scream? Oh my god, I cringed, yesh.
So here's where my mind goes, right, These adults are
(06:26):
paying to be there, right, And the response to this
mother was well, you could just leave, because if you
don't want to hear it, you could go. And a
part of me just thinks, first off, that baby not
paying for nothing. That baby is just sitting there. That
(06:47):
baby didn't even have no food in front of it.
We're not even gonna talk about how in this particular video,
she also had two other kids just running around a
goddamn place, So it's given bad parenting all in all, Like, bitch,
you got three kids under five? What's happening? I will
say this white man did try it. She confronted him
(07:09):
or whatever whenever, sorry, y'all hear the sirens. She went
over there, and he decided to say it was trifling.
He pretty much dug at. He don't know what. Man
hurt her? And I get it because you're seeing this
woman not being able to really get a grasp on
(07:30):
the three children that she has alone. She claims her
husband was at home and she's been happily married for
ten years. Was she I don't know, you know, we
don't know that much details, but a part of me
does want to ask, y'all because help me not be
so ignorant. If you have children that seemingly don't know
(07:54):
how to behave in public settings. Why is it for
the people who choose not to have kids to have
to deal with your badass, untamable loud as children like
(08:17):
that is a serious question, and this is because I'm
trying not to be so ignorant in it. Is there
an answer for that as to why the rest of
the world, who did not push that baby out there,
Kuchi had to deal with the ramifications of your bad
parenting because you can't keep that child well behaved. And
(08:39):
I say that because I have friends who literally have
children who when we go out, don't sit there and
scream the whole time. So I get the idea that, well,
that's just what babies do, But no, bitch, all babies
don't do that. Where's the passifi? What is the bottle?
Where is the toy? Where is the iPad? And so
(09:03):
I wanted to bring that to the podcast this week
because that was my moment where I literally was up
fucking set, motherfucking had a whole conversation with my friends.
Then I was like reading the comments and they was
talking about the white man. Now, I also feel like
against selective ignorance. I feel like if this was black
(09:25):
women on black women. Black maybe not black man on
black women. Who we under that. I feel like if
it was a black woman telling another black woman like, yo,
this is crazy, I do wonder if this would have
been handled or received differently. I wonder also if she
was just like, I know, this white man with all
his privilege, ain't gonna tell my kid what to do.
(09:47):
Because to be fair, she did bring up the privilege
of this man now in the comments, shout out to
Tony Baker because he did say that as a parent
when my babies were lied in public, which was where
I've removed them easy work. Tia also was like apparently
(10:08):
aligned with me or not really, she said, sweetheart, by
the looks of the other patrons, no one wanted to
listen to your beautiful baby scream. This isn't a child
free world. But when you realize that your infant is
disturbing the peace, then you should sue the infant or
you should leave now. Now, a lot of people in
here again was like coming for him, saying that it
(10:34):
shouldn't be that. Also, oh my god, not this moral
of the story. Don't be a black woman in the
world without a man. Jee us I don't know. I
don't know there was an employee that de escalated the situation.
I know that there's been other conversations about babies being
allowed in first class. Delta. Gonna have to hear from
(10:55):
me if I have a baby screaming in first class,
I don't care if you pay for that little motherfucker seat.
Crying babies are for economy, period. That's where the people.
The people can't complain in economy because they in the economy.
They in the back of the in the back of
the plane first class. You should not be able to
(11:17):
bring a terrible two of crying as screaming as baby
in first class. I don't care how wealthy you are.
Take your eyes back to fucking economy. Somebody said, the
lady in the back is taking me out. See yeah,
hand over my mouth. I've shut my nieces up before. Okay, okay, okay,
this the baby is eight months old, are y'all slow?
(11:43):
I don't care if the baby just came out to kochie.
I don't care if the baby two weeks old and
don't really know what's going on in the world because
it's been swimming in gush and blood for the last
nine months bacon in the oven if I'm out enjoying
dirt tastes of macha because I decided I was gonna
(12:03):
go work. I don't want to hear your screaming baby.
I just don't. I just don't. It's crazy because further investigating,
and I don't know if it's the algorithm, but it
seems total toed with how people think. I know that
that's like one of my ignorant thoughts. But y'all know
I'm real ignorant when it comes to my thoughts and
(12:25):
views around children. I thought I would share that. I
would love to know y'all's thoughts. Drop them in the comments.
If you're a patron, head on over to the discord.
I want to know, if you're a parent and you
have a screaming ass kid, is everybody around just supposed
to be okay with your screaming as kid because it's
a kid, or should you go ahead and remove yourself
(12:48):
from the establishment. I would like to know. Until then,
I'm gonna selectively choose to be ignorant and tell you
take that baby elsewhere. I don't want to hear kids nowhere,
just absolutely nowhere. And so yeah, if you have a
moment like that, like this week, where you're driving behind
(13:11):
a slow car. This is just an example, and this
is gonna sound real ignorant, but bear with me here.
If you're driving behind a car and your mind immediately
goes to a certain race and you literally look inside
the window when you pass that vehicle to see if
it was a certain race, let me know. This is
(13:35):
the honesty that we need if we want to overcome
our ignorance in this world. Okay, speaking of which, I'm
gonna get into this letter. This is again things that
I would like y'all to send in because I can't
wait to share with the rest of the world y'all's
ignorant thoughts. Now, this one is interesting and I'm gonna
(13:56):
share with you guys my thoughts. I would also love
to know y'all's. So this is a friend wondering if
they were wrong for telling their other friend to change
their accent for professional advances. Hear me out, let's get
(14:20):
into it. My friend and I work in entertainment as performers.
Spanish is her first language, but she's been speaking English
since she was a little kid. A year ago, we
were doing a musical together and she got the main
female lead. About a month before opening night, she'd been
(14:41):
moved from the lead to understudy, and they told her
it was because her accent and she was messing up
too many words. Cut to the present year and we
were auditioning for a show together and we needed to
film a self tape. She hadn't worked on her accent
at all. Now, y'all know, when I get into the
doing some accents, I'm not too good, but I'm gonna
(15:03):
do it for of course, the reason of this pod. Okay,
the side they sent us had the words start and
several times, but because of her accent, she was saying sharks. Now,
I don't know what Spanish where in Spain, Spanish, Mexico,
Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, because all of the Spanish is
(15:26):
be different, like Spanish just ate the same, like Spanish, yes,
is the main language, but the Spanishes be different, like
you know, like is it European Spanish, is it Caribbean Spanish,
is it Mexican Spanish? Different Spanishes. She ain't say which Spanish,
so I don't know which one would say shark, but
I'm thinking European Spanish because that's the least amount of
(15:48):
Spanish people. I know, so we gonna say shot shot.
That was like Italian, bitch, don't mind me. When she
saw the look on my face, she asked me what
was wrong, and I told her that she was mispronouncing
the word and that she definitely didn't want to send
in an audition saying the word shirt. I told her
(16:09):
maybe she should work on her accent if she wanted
to get more roles, and she got upset with me
and then submitted the audition as is. We heard back
from that audition and I got cast while she didn't.
This hasn't happened before, where we would audition for the
same stuff, but one of us would get cast while
the other wasn't, and it's never been an issue. This
(16:31):
time it was different, and I'm pretty sure it's because
of my comment. While I didn't say anything, I was
certain she didn't get cast because of her accent. Later
I found out from a mutual friend that I was right.
She had emailed casting basically asking in a professional manner
why she didn't get picked and what she could do
later to improve her auditions, and they told her that
(16:52):
they really liked her audition and she was a strong actor.
But her accent was too strong, and wondering if what
I did was wrong or if she's taking her frustrations
out on me. Okay, okay, so a few things right. Yes,
(17:15):
you could work on accents, like bitch, I'm from Florida,
I got an accent, and I know that I've had
to work on how I speak. Now. Have I been
offended at someone saying I should change up how I
talk in order to get or do anything professionally? Hell, motherfucking.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Hell.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yes. I think anyone who came here from another country
who's being told to work on their accent when also
learning a different language is already hard as fuck. Like,
I get it, I understand her offense. Were you wrong? No?
(17:59):
I know, Oh, I know. I know that in certain places,
acting and being on stage, being one of them speaking
into a microphone and having people need to understand you,
or hosting an event or going on a panel, there's
a certain inflection that you want to have, or if
you're being hired, somebody would like you to have so
that whatever you are saying is conveyed properly in front
(18:23):
of everybody. Now here's the thing, and I done said
it on an episode. If y'all listen to it with Carla.
You have to realize that most people want to be
lied to. Most people don't want to hear the truth
that just is what it is. Most people are sensitive,
(18:44):
and so for people like me and possibly people like
this person who wrote this, you gonna be a villain
in somebody book. And so I think what we end
up when I talk about being ignorant, right, Sometimes it's
(19:05):
you questioning in your mind if you shouldn't do something
before you do it. The ignorant part is when you
know you shouldn't do it, but you do it anyways,
you know what I mean. And so for this, you
kind of felt it was something keeping her from something,
and you didn't say anything last year. This year you're like, bitch,
(19:25):
you might need to work on this now. For me,
if you, if you speak up and say something knowing
that someone's going to receive it a certain way, you
as a human being, had to just bear the consequences
on that one again, knowing that people are gonna be sensitive,
(19:48):
knowing that people may not receive things the way even
that you intend you are genuinely trying to help her.
Does she take it that way?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Could it have been in the moment that she was
frustrated and let it on you. Yes, two things can
be true. Now, Manu, I think this is funny, just
a little bit. But I understand that people work heavy
to hide their accents, specifically that Kubanos that want to
be a Republican. But we're not gonna get into that either.
(20:18):
I don't believe you're wrong. However, you are also asking
someone who is equally ignorant and doesn't often I don't
want to say care, but often knows that what I'm
gonna say may not be received the best way. I
(20:41):
don't think you're wrong. I do think that she was
taking her frustrations out on me, how on you. However,
I do believe that this will be something that you
can overcome, and I do think you need to say
it again. That's right, say it again, say it with
your chest next time. Hey, bitch, you want me to
(21:02):
help you with your accent? Now, no one would ever
ask me to help them with their accent. But I
think the next thing that you could do is, instead
of telling her she should work on it, is maybe
help her. That's how you could make things better. I
feel like you know why not y'all let me know
if you agree. Again, leave it in the comments, head
(21:23):
on over to the discord, or again, make sure you
send in your letters so we could do more of
these with real people, maybe even get y'all to start
calling in like the Crash Dummies podcast. I want to
make this a full lesson on selective ignorance. I want
us to work through our dilemmas with communicating with people
(21:44):
and you know, ethics and morals and all these things
that we battle with because you know, two things can
be two things can be through. You know two things
can be through, all right, This one is a little lengthy.
This next one, trigger warning, has to deal with the
(22:06):
topic of abortion. Yes, bitch, I had to drink to
that one. Speaking of if you haven't yet, make sure
you get my book, Noah's Barred, a dull manifesto of
sexual exploration and power. That's right. It is available wherever
you purchase books. So this one is interesting because again,
(22:30):
selective ignorance has to deal with us battling what we
know to be right and what we know to be wrong,
and sometimes choosing the part that we know is wrong,
but we're willing to live with the consequences, and so
this one is really interesting. And this deals with romantic
(22:51):
moral dilemmas, internal struggle, and how the hell women are
so resilient. Let's get into it. So found out I,
a twenty four year old female, was pregnant yesterday, evening
alone in the bathroom of a Crumble Cookie USA bluestate.
(23:15):
Now that's where you first went wrong. Bitsh them crumble cookies?
Is not it? Dim things can just crumble on a way.
Not interested, don't want it. Y'all will never hear a
crumble cookie.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Dad.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Here, I'll tell you it. Autumn goddamn calories, all right?
Deep down I knew the sore breasts and intense morning
sickness are what led me to spontaneously take the test,
but I didn't think a positive result was possible for me.
I have had massively irregular periods since starting my menstrual
(23:47):
cycle at fourteen, having only one functioning ovary, and quite
religiously taking my birth control. My partner, a twenty eight
year old male, and I have been together for six years.
I adore him and will certainly marry him and plan
a family of our own someday. We are actually in
(24:08):
the most difficult and stressful era in our relationship we've
ever experienced. This is strictly due to financial hardships outside
of our control. Bitch, we had a recession. This might
be the year that I have witnessed the most people
in a financial hardship. Okay, so girl, you are not alone.
(24:30):
We both recently moved back home with our respective families,
and while he is in a safe environment, I am
living in a very abusive household without a soul in
my corner. Every day has been focused on survival for
me and a plan of escape. I have decided not
to tell my partner as one of the biggest aspirations
(24:51):
in life has always been fatherhood. Oh bitch, now he
want to be a daddy. I know I cannot emotionally
handle any sort of indirect or subconscious coercion from him,
or I will carry this baby to term, subsequently regretting
it for the rest of our lives. Despite being pro
(25:12):
choice himself, I know that this is what I would
be up against at a minimum if I informed him. Ooh,
he's pro choice. But bitch, he wanted to be a daddy.
So again, let's be real. We know we side. He
would teeter on. At the worst, he would end our
At the worst, he would end our relationship and resent
(25:33):
me for robbing him of a chance at being a dad.
I am not willing to lose him over this, and
would rather subject myself to total emotional isolation than to take
the risk at all. Oh bitch, He's truly that great
of a man, and I would do anything to protect
him from unnecessary emotional pain coming from a broken home.
(25:55):
It was always imperative to me that I took the
traditional steps to motherhood, only play when we were financially, emotionally,
and spiritually ready. I find myself already emotionally attached to
this clump of cells. I secretly hold my tumuey at
night under my blankets, silently sobbing into my pillow, imagining
what could be. I've been one hundred percent decided from
(26:18):
the very beginning, even before conception, that I would never
bring a child into this mess that I wasn't capable
of caring for in all aspects. My baby deserves the
best version of me, and right now I am far
from it. This doesn't make the decision any lighter for me,
but reading all of your experiences and stories has really
brought me comfort that nothing else has been able to.
(26:41):
I have my first appointment with planned parenthood today and
will establish how far along I am. I'm predicting somewhere
between four to seven weeks. Ooh, bitch, good thing you
live in a blue state. In the back of my mind,
I have already decided on SA was twilight sedation. No,
I don't know what SA mean, but okay, anything mimicking
(27:04):
a miscarriage is going to emotionally destroy me and possibly
kick me off into ooh, trigger Warren suicidal ideation. Here's
the thing, y'all. I plan to say yes to all
information that most people don't seem to want, saying yes
to how far along I am, wanting to know if
(27:25):
there's multiples and a copy of the ultrasound. I need everything.
I don't care if it's unhealthy, and I know this
will probably lead to more mental torture, but I plan
to put it all in a small box with my
pregnancy tests. This is my weird way of grieving. I
guess I didn't want to be the only one who
knows about my baby, so I felt compelled to write
(27:48):
into the ABYSS in hopes at least one of you
can relate or feel less alone in some way. Baby
maybe baby, favorite baby, favorite baby, baby, babit ooh there's
a baby. Ooh, I don't know if that landed. I
don't know why I went there. Okay, tricky here, because say,
(28:10):
even you get to a place with this man where
you're emotional, financial, and spiritually ready for this baby, you
move forward with having a baby, and you tell him
down the line that you aborted a baby without even
his knowledge, without his consideration. I just wonder, like to me,
(28:35):
do you wonder if it's a i'll tell later thing?
This is one of these absolutely selectively ignorant decisions because
you know that you're wrong as hell for not telling him.
And what's crazy is where I am pro choice. You
(28:57):
both laid in bed together and knew the consequences of
the baby when you're there. While I believe in a woman, yes,
being able to make the final decision. This might be
ignorant to say I believe you should tell the man,
but I do believe it's your right to do what
(29:18):
you want to do, even if the man don't want
to do it. That's where again I teeter with a
bit of what's right and wrong as a woman. You
ain't gonna tell me what to do with my body.
If I don't want this baby, I ain't gonna have it.
I do, however, subconsciously, subconsciously feel like a man should
be at least notified, It should at least be a conversation.
(29:45):
And to me, if you don't feel in the right
to hold this space of a conversation for this type
of this huge monumental thing, is this a nigga you
need to be laying up with? Is this you need
to be in a relationship with? I mean, if you
can hold this as a secret and lie about this
(30:07):
and be so distraught as to being able to even
come to him and have this conversation as grown ass adults,
because twenty four to twenty eight, y'all grown. What else
would you lie about? What else would you hide? Like this?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Is?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
This?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Is?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
This is kind of tricky. Now, Yes, it's crazy because
in your mind you don't want to hurt him. Is
it not inevitable for him to be hurt? You're literally
saving all of this information. You're gonna know how many
weeks you were. You're saving a copy of the ultra sound,
You're saving the pregnancy test. This almost reminds me bitch,
(30:50):
And maybe because I was just watching it last night.
I watch a monster. This reminds me of the serial
killers that choose to like save Oh and listen. I
don't think abortion is killing a baby. Don't listen. But
you like keeping all the things but keeping it a secret.
And look, this is where my mind goes. I don't
think you will say real killses. I don't think anybody
(31:11):
who has an abortion is a killer. Don't think you
a murderer. I find it weird though, that you're holding
the secret. You're going through all this alone. You're not
letting anyone know specifically the partner that you had the
baby with, but you're keeping all of the items. To me,
that leads me to believe you will tell him eventually,
which to me, what is the saying just rip off
(31:33):
the band aid? Because I would hate for you to
be in a more emotional, mental, spiritual, financial better space.
You choose to build a family down the line, this
comes out and then this comes back to haunt you.
(31:53):
I do feel like we need to be in a
space of at least laying with some niggas that we
could talk to. Y'all, we know the consequences of unprotected sex.
It's a baby or a disease, or hopefully or orgasm
oftentimes not so if we know that you're gonna be
(32:19):
pleased or unpleased, and whether you're pleased or unbleased, you
hold and bear the risk of nothing happening, a baby happening,
or STD happening. I would at least hope that you
would be in a space to be able to hold
that those three conversations, whether there's nothing that y'all want
to do it again, whether a baby comes, or whether
you got a little itching and burning and they I
(32:40):
gotta go get tested to be able to have that
conversation with whatever man you laying up with. It's also
crazy to me that y'all be going on the internet,
just writing this whole shit out, but can't talk to
the person in your life that you adore, that you love,
that you believe is truly a great man that you
(33:04):
would do anything to protect. I also think that that's
crazy too, This idea of secrets and white lies or
FIBs or whatever you want to call them, as the
idea of protecting another person. We gotta let that go.
(33:32):
We cannot fully believe that our wrongdoings and not sharing
them with the people who are directly impacted and directly involved,
that were protecting them by not sharing how they're involved
or something that if they eventually find out, will hurt
them down the line. It's not up to you. You're
(33:54):
not protecting them. You are making the choice and decision
to do this knowing inevitably when if he finds out,
and it sounds like it's an inevitable because you're keeping
this small box with all of the evidence, why you
(34:14):
wouldn't just want to tear the band aid off classmates again?
In your mind, you know what's right and wrong in
your mind, you know how what you're gonna say or
what you're gonna do, how it's gonna impact whoever it's
gonna affect. Right, saying with your motherfucker chest, y'all gotta
(34:35):
start saying shit with your chests. That's gonna be the
moral of this. It's gonna be the moral of a
lot of shit I say, because clearly I say a
lot of shit with my chests, and I be loud
or wrong sometimes, or at least to y'all. To me,
I'm right. To me, it makes sense to me and
I like to share parts of my story and my
upbringing and constantly lean into my geographical upbringing to allow
(34:59):
you to understand why my mind works the way it does.
A lot of our minds work differently. If you read
the book, I talk about a lot of it having
to do with genetics, psychological factors, such as you know,
how your parents navigate, what socioeconomic status you had growing
up Geographically there's different traditions and cultures that you're brought
(35:22):
into and all these things. H But we have to
start saying shit with our chests. You have to. If
you're gonna make the decision to do the bullshit you're
gonna do, you gotta be able to deal with the
bullshit coming your way from people judging you, from people
(35:43):
being hurt, from people having their opinion, because guess what
we live in fucking life world. It's life, that is
literally life. This is absolutely a moral dilemma. I think
you are absolutely selectively, ignorantly using here to lean into
(36:04):
this secret on the guys of protecting him from unnecessary
emotional pain. And so you're making that decision, and you're
choosing to lean into that bullshit little thin line down,
and so yeah, moving forward, guys, I'm really excited to
let y'all know that this will be one of the
(36:26):
new segments that I bring into Selective Ignorance. So every
Tuesday and every Friday, wrapping up the show, we're adding,
am I ignorant? Mitch? Tell me how selectively or real ignorant?
You know what I mean? So I do ask you
guys the listeners, and there's a lot of y'all. I'm
(36:48):
really excited that the number is going up ever, ever,
ever every week. But I'm excited to hear from y'all.
I want to know the type of people listening to
this shit and how ignorant y'all really are. So am
I ignorant? Put it in the title the subject line
of your email, and again that email is Selective Ignorance
(37:09):
pod at gmail dot com. Send it in. I'm also
working on getting a phone number for you guys to
leave voicemails. I really, really, really love voicemails. If you
guys are patrons over on horrible decisions, I do a
Mandy on the hotline. I would really love to start
doing live call ins too, thinking of making that a
(37:31):
patron feature, but really looking forward to talking through all
of these things that we deal with in our lives.
It's frustrating, it's chaotic, it sucks, it's real, and so yeah,
make sure you send those in again. If you support
(37:51):
what I'm doing, make sure you head on over and
subscribe to the YouTube channel. That's YouTube dot com backslash
with Mandybeet. Go head over and subscribe as well to Patreon.
If you're watching this video, that means you're already a patron.
That's Patreon dot com backslash Selective Ignorance. And yeah, this
has been great, and as always, I'm just really excited
(38:15):
to keep this going. Y'all. We are getting through this.
And I'm really excited too because on Fridays, I'm going
to start bringing some of my classmates on with me,
some very familiar voices, So stay tuned. I'm really, really,
really excited about what I'm going to be bringing to
content in the coming months, and hopefully y'all stick with
(38:39):
me again. Am I Ignorant? Send in your letters to
Selective Ignorance pod at gmail dot com. This is another
bonus episode of Selective Ignorance, where curiosity lives, controversy thrives,
and conversations matter. See you guys next week, and I'm
really excited because I'll be joined by one of my
(39:02):
Black Effect cousins. I got Glasses Malone joining me on
the pod. So make sure y'all check that out and
see you again right here every Tuesday and every Friday,
wherever you listen to podcasts, signing out, see you next week. Bye.
Selective Ignorance a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.
(39:25):
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Thanks for tuning in the Selective Ignorance with Mandy B.
Selective Ignorance. It's executive produced to buy Mandy B. And
it's a Full Court Media studio production with lead producers
Jason Mondriguez. That's me and Aaron A. King Howard. Now,
do us a favor and rate, Subscribe, comment, and share
wherever you get your favorite podcasts, and be sure to
follow Selective Ignorance on Instagram at Selective Underscore Ignorance. And
(39:55):
of course, if you're not following our hosts Mandy B,
make sure you're following her at Full Court Pumps Now
if you want the full video experience, a Selective ignorance.
Make sure you subscribe to the patreon It's patreon dot
com backslash selective ignorance
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