Ep. 33 | Should We Stick to Our "Type"? feat. Ace Metaphor - Selective Ignorance with Mandii B

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Selective Ignorance. However,

(00:03):
before we get to this week's episode, I want to
remind you guys to purchase my book No Holds Barred,
a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. So feel
free to go to your local bookstores preferably queer owned,
black owned, or woman owned to support them, but also
just click the button on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, or

(00:23):
wherever you read your books. Again. That is No Holds Barred,
a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power, written by
yours truly and my co host of the Decisions Decisions podcasts, Weezy.
Make sure y'all get that. Now let's get to this
week's episode. This is Mandy B. Welcome to Selective Ignorance,
a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network and Iart Radio.

(00:44):
Welcome back. It's another episode of Selective Ignorance. I'm your host,
your favorites reference Mandy B. And today we are talking
about the topic that the Internet will not stop discussing,
whether it's standards, whether it's what you wanted a partner
which you don't want in a partner. Everyone talks about
my type Nikko, that's my type. Recently, Summer Walker said

(01:08):
fuck her type when she showed up to the VMA's
red carpet with a tall glass of spoiled White's milk.
He needs some milk, and she pretty much told y'all
to mind your business. Also, after we've already had everything
we had to say about the two minute, she chose
to create children with.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
We also have Aisha Curry who at this point, there's
a humiliation k going on there. Aisha Curry loves to
embarrass the legend that he is the NBA superstar Steph
Curry anytime they talk about their relationship, and she recently
went on an appearance of Call Her Daddy and talked
about how actually at first, Steph wasn't her type. Now

(01:49):
a wife, is that something that you should be sharing
with the world, Eh, It's tricky. And then of course
we talked about Miguel who recently had a surprise announcement
with his partner, celebrating the one year birthday of a
child with a woman that he wasn't just with for
the last twenty years. The Internet is a blaze with
the fact that this man moved on and didn't give

(02:11):
his last woman a child, but we're going to talk
about that all next and I am joined yet again
with my super producers. We have journalists Jason in the
building to help hopefully correct me with anything I say wrong,
because surprisingly enough, I do admit sometimes I be wrong,

(02:32):
not often, but sometimes, and so when I need to
be corrected, Jason is here. And then of course we
got og podcast legend a King also there to pretty
much give his takes on all the things, and normally
he has a different, your undiagnosed taste that's crazy, and
that's because we can't say the R word. And then

(02:53):
I'm joined, but also someone who all of you follow,
you have probably been to one of his many live shows.
If not, you have played his card games, because he
is that much in tune with everyone in the culture.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Y'ah.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
I am joined by Ace Metaphor.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
He is the.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Creator, the host the legend of Tonight's Conversation and all
talks about dating.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Relationships, trying. I'll be trying.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
What do you try?

Speaker 4 (03:19):
No, No, you be doing?

Speaker 1 (03:20):
You be doing? I need to know where you pull
these thoughts from, because whenever I really see you online,
it's just like, oh my god, I hate what you're saying,
but I also know a lot of people love what you're.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
Saying, So listen, listen, listen. I was just talking actually
yesterday about this. I've been in this space for about
ten years now, right, And so let me tell you,
as a person that does content, because I also I'm
a content creator, a producer, you look for just new
and interesting ways to say the same thing.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (03:54):
So like i'd be fan, you know, because you know
I don't answer the same type of question thirty six
times yep. And so it's like, for myself, just to
keep myself interested, I challenged way myself to think of
something in a different way or think of a different
metaphor or analogy.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
How do you do it? Do you read? Are you
soaking in content from other people? Like for me as
a podcaster, everyone is always like, damn you listen to
other podcasts. I listen to another podcasts so much because
in order to keep up on having my own opinion
I do. I like to hear the opinions of others
because even when I'm in my house, I like to

(04:30):
disagree with people. So with you with your live shows,
with touring, with the tonight's conversation even show is it like,
how do you keep having new and fresh ways to
say the same thing?

Speaker 4 (04:41):
So first, yes, right, So also in that same conversation,
as ironic, a lot of people don't know started as
a poet, and so like just my brain of working
through the creativity of thinking of a new analogy or this,
that and the other, it's just it goes there. But
then also, I mean, at this point done three four
hundred shows. You know, you know I've live streamed. I

(05:06):
used to do it more, but on a daily basis,
I've been around so many different creatives, so many different
thought leaders, so many therapists and dating coaches that, and
then I've answered so many questions. And then also I
post the content, so I read through the comments section
just to get the temperature. Okay, So it's always inspiration
to talk about something.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
And then also I mean I also think that the
spirit leads you sometimes, like I'll be on stage and
there's something called me to say something. So like I
think it's a being in a space and filling the
energy and then being able to open yourself up to
wherever your your thought process leads you. And I always
say this I mean as a panel, it's an impromptu show.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Do you do you do? You live by everything you say?

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Do?

Speaker 4 (05:51):
I live by everything I say?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (05:53):
Fuck?

Speaker 1 (05:53):
No, okay, okay.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
And the reason I say that is because and.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
I guess that's the difference with me, like if like.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
But let me explain. Yeah, the no one lives by
everything you say.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I do.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Know.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
What I mean is because nobody's perfect. You can give
best practices. I can open up about my failures, which
I do a lot, are things that the mistakes that
I made or how I fall short, and that's my testimony.
But when you're giving best practices to other people, that
doesn't mean that one hundred percent of the time that
you're going to be able to live to even your advice.

(06:28):
When you think about professors, therapists, dating coaches, presidents, whoever,
we all make mistakes because we're not perfect.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Could we can make mistakes. But I think in terms
of the content that I give out and how I
maybe advise people to navigate their relations is based in
fact and truth on how I live and operate, and
so yeah, I may have made mistakes along the way,
but what I'm saying is how I advise people to
move is legit how I live. If I say you

(07:00):
should probably have two boyfriends because X y Z, or
if I say, well, you're gonna go back because you
done stayed and he cheated already, I've been. I've been
in those same spaces. So to me, the advice that
I give has whether it worked or didn't work for me.
I believe I give advice that I that I live by.

Speaker 4 (07:17):
So okay, then you know what I mean. You're giving
a testimony. You're giving your testimony for somebody else to
that's different. But when I say, when somebody gives me
a question and what can be best for them, that
may be different than what's best for you. Okay, So
like what I mean is the best practices part you
want to Yeah, of course you want to give therapeutics.

(07:37):
Of course you want to give something that helps somebody,
But that doesn't mean that always. And I think we
get into this discredit culture because people think that just
because you've made a mistake or you stumbled, that it
invalidates everything you say. And then also, let me let
me do we do. Let me tell you that the
last the last thing is you also grow. There's a
there's a frame of mind I may have been in

(07:59):
two years ago, but that I'm not in today because
there's a life experience or something changed my opinion about something,
or now I can relate better to a situation. And
I think what happens is when you post things, those
become like memorial memorialized on the Internet and it stays
viral and relevant, and so something of an opinion from
three years ago that maybe I don't feel the same now.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah, like, y'all, I'm not a whole no more, like
I don't even move that way. I'm out here, you know,
living my best life, being treated very well by all my.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
Boyfriends, like and can I add one more point?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
One more point?

Speaker 4 (08:36):
Also though, I also think that it's the totality of
things right, because I feel like when you get in
this space, especially as a content creator, you probably got
thousands of hours of recorded material.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Way too much so do I.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
But what happens is people will narrow in on a
certain clip and forget the context of your whole catalog,
and they'll box you into saying, Okay, you're not practicing
what you preaching. Well, no, I've already admitted a thousand
times to this or that or this, or I live
this way. I tell people I'm in the streets. I'll
do that all the time. But then it's like, Okay,
well I see this Instagram clip and in my head,

(09:13):
I framed you in this way. And so if you're
not doing what I think you should be doing, you're
living contrary to the advice you're giving. And I think
that's that. I think in the Internet today, we have
to understand that people make us into characters.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Do you not feel like you make yourself into a character, Like,
if you're focused on a certain amount of content and
you're looking to feed a certain demo that's gonna buy
the games, it's gonna come to the live shows. Essentially,
it's not the people turning you to a character. You
become almost a caricature of yourself as well, because that's
how you're making your money. Like so for me and

(09:47):
I know we talked about this a couple episodes ago,
Jason and A King know that I live as myself
on camera, off camera, I'm the same person. But I
think for you, having known you not half as this
animated guy, you're actually really chilling nights.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
Do you think just a do you think that the
majority of people are following you see you as a
real person though, that's what I mean about a character.
Do they see you as a real person with real emotions,
real feelings, a real family, a real life When they
make that comment about you on the internet, they don't

(10:25):
they see you as that character. They see you as
that influencer, they see you as that thought leader. They
start to stop seeing you as a person. And that's
what I mean about a character, is not that it's
the persona that I'm okay, that's different, but right I
think it starts like real people have multiple different sides,
Real people have multiple different perspectives, Real people make mistakes.

(10:49):
But when you're not a real person to the masses,
then now it's like it's an unfair standard that a
lot of influencers.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
I was gonna say not only influences, because that word
irks me as soon as you're deemed a celebrity, which
is what we see, like when Cardi B or certain
artists like shoot back at the bad comments, it becomes
like a well, ignore all the comments, and it's like, bro,
as a human being, do you know how many comments
we ignore before we actually say something back? And so

(11:17):
I think it's the term celebrity. I think majority of
my audience of my demo does view me as a
person because they've got to come on a journey with me.
I share a lot of my personal life. They know
too much about me. They might even know my goddamn cycle,
that's how much I share. But it's the people that
once they view you as a celebrity, they think you
signed up for abuse. They think you signed up for

(11:38):
the negative shit. And that's when I think that they
take away the human element that we make mistakes, that
we have feelings that we Bro. The normal person cannot
sit here and read some of the comments that are
said about us or our thoughts or our opinions on
a daily basis.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Everyone shouts how much mental health it's supposed to matter.
They hop on that internet and have something negative to
say about somebody. Now, you don't give a fuck about
the person's mental health that's about to read your bullshit
as statement about them. So it's a little tricky. I
do say. I do like like your your content. And
you're newly in Atlanta, Jargia, newly single and out of

(12:21):
these streets is oh wait, are you singles toill or
you got somebody, Okay, I love that for you. I
have a clip though. We have a segment called double
down or take It Back where we like to ask
our guests if they still stand by this particular content
that they put out, and if you don't, you could
say what you would change about this, And I'm gonna

(12:41):
let you know if I agree.

Speaker 5 (12:42):
With this or not.

Speaker 4 (12:45):
What dating tip in twenty twenty five to women is
stop dating men that don't like you like that. That
is the answer. Sometimes you with a man that don't
like you like that, You mean, like, hey, how could
a man go ghost on me? Do you think a
man that can't go a day without thinking about you

(13:06):
is gonna also go a day without texting you. Sometimes
the problem is you think that man likes you, and
so here you are over committing, overgiving, putting your heart
in the hands of a man that only sort of
likes you. He sort of likes you when it's convenient.
He sort of likes you when you allow him to
be him, do him without consequence. That man likes you

(13:29):
at a convenience. He don't like you like that. When
you find a man that likes you, he moves different.
A man that cares about you moves different. A man
that desires you moves different. That man don't require you
to chase him. That man don't require you to teach
him how to act proper and relationship. That man is

(13:50):
ready to give you his last name. That's how strongly
he feels about you. Sometimes, the most dangerous man to
be with in twenty twenty is a man that's indifferent
about you, because that's the meaning that go with the
flow you into a heartbreak. That's the mean that leads
you on.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
That's the mean.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Purgatory year after year after year, because they like you
enough to waste your time, but they don't like you
enough to not waste your time.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
But number one, okay, I have thoughts on this clip
fact everything that can I start?

Speaker 4 (14:31):
Yes, please let me get into my now listen I.

Speaker 6 (14:36):
Do, and you gotta hit record in there by the way,
you don't like you like that. Somebody out there is listening,
you know what I mean. Don't a coin like like that?
So listen, I don't like you like that? Right, So
here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Now, I do understand that in the video. You know,
there's this arc villain Nigga that we're talking about Okay,
so I do, I do understand this. But what I'm
saying is just as a dater, a as a man
that has been dating, from my own personal experience, you
move different when you like a woman, you just do.
There are certain women you will send flowers to, and

(15:11):
there's certain women you send are you uptext to. There's
two different women and it's based off of how you
like them and how you view them. And for one woman,
because you're inspired to she piques your interest enough, this
is the woman that you will pursue. This is why
a lot of times women are confused how a man
can be in a relationship for five years and never

(15:31):
propose to her and propose to a next girl in
six It's just a different level of like. And what
I was just imploring women to do is to find
a man that like you enough the things that you
are desiring, that you want, that you expect, you expect.
When a man actually likes you to that level, it
doesn't feel like you're begging him. When you got to

(15:51):
beg a man for quality time. That man don't like
you like that. Now here's the thing the video was saying,
like that he may like you, he may have some
feelings towards you. He might fuck with you a little bit,
but like you like that is different.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
And here's the thing. Lastly, any woman that's listening to
this right now, you know the difference between a man
that likes you and a man that like you like
that period.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Okay, Okay, he said that, In fact he did, he did.
I mean, I guess because I listen to even the
things that you were talking about, I could like someone
and not text them every day. You saying like, if
he don't text you every day, he don't like you
like that, Like I mean, I think, to me, these
ideas that someone shows up full throttle out the gate

(16:43):
isn't realistic in dating. I know that you know, I'm
I'm not new to dating. You're a little new to dating.
To me, those expectations of someone showing up that hard
out the gate is not realistic. I think in twenty
twenty five, especially with the dating apps, the swiping, most
people are dating most people at the same time. We
all have jobs, we have lives, and sometimes I could

(17:04):
go from texting all my niggas one day and nobody
get a text the next day. It doesn't mean I
like them. Any less. Well, so, I think we have
unrealistic expectations in terms of intimacy and dating relationships that
make it all this like that narrative that someone doesn't
like you because they're living life, or because maybe they're
going through something, or I think someone can't like you

(17:26):
like that and I text you every day. I think
someone can't like you like that and not show up
in certain ways because.

Speaker 4 (17:32):
Life is happening, I said in the video. Yes, it
was a question. It said, do you think a man
that can't go a day without thinking about you would
also go a day without texting you?

Speaker 1 (17:47):
So do you believe that?

Speaker 4 (17:48):
I believe that if a man thinks about you on
a daily basis, that man is also going to send
you a text on them.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Every time you've thought about somebody, you've text them.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
If I'm with a woman like enough that she dominates
my thinking on a daily basis, she will get a
text message from me on a daily basis, Okay it
there is no way I'm gonna think about her. And
what I mean by think about it, I'm thinking about damn,
and I really wish we could have had today are Damn,
I'm thinking about yourself. Damn and so when that thought

(18:19):
comes in your head, a man that likes a woman
is just gonna send whatever that little quick thought is. Yo,
I wish you was here. All right, how's your day going?
Because I'm wondering about it. I'm wondering how your day,
So I'm not gonna wonder about it and then my
hands not be moved to send a three second text.
Maybe I don't got all day to talk, right, Maybe
I ain't got all day to go back and forth.

(18:40):
But if I thought about you, I want you to
know I thought about you, because it's important for me
to let you know that. So what I'm saying is,
if you ain't found a man, they can't go a
day without thinking about you.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I would just say, allow a man sometimes. Jason, how
long did it take you and your wife to get
to the place where y'all were texting every day? Or
was that kind of out the gate? I know she
used to date your friend. I know it was tricky.
I can't remember the whole story about how you and
your wife got together. It's a little trinky, but how long?
And I'm only saying this because as we're dating, I
think it's it's not healthy for to assume that a

(19:15):
man has to show up that way out the gate.
So how long did it take you to actually get
to a place where you was hitting your now wife
every day?

Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (19:26):
I mean I'll say pretty quickly, I don't like okay.
I think he's on point. Your behavior changes for somebody
you like versus somebody who, uh you know you have
an interest in, Okay, Like when you generally like somebody,
you activate against it, even though like the texting is
sort of like like I wonder what you're doing when
you're not with me because I want to be with you.

Speaker 5 (19:45):
So what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Okay? So without is there a clear way to find
out if a nigga like you like that or not?

Speaker 5 (19:52):
I think from the beginning, from the beginning.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
From from the beginning, a woman should know if he
like you like that or not.

Speaker 4 (19:59):
Before seve before like I'll give you a story.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Oh I love story time.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
It is.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
Like I said, I think some men categorize. So there
are certain women, and I would say the majority of
the women in my life that I've met fitting inside
this category, which is when it's convenient for me. You know,
I got stuff to do. I'll hit you back when
I care ye, certain women you make the time, you
make time for it.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
Certain women when you meet.

Speaker 4 (20:32):
You lock eyes. The vibe is so right that the
very next week, even if y'all live in separate places,
get how can we make this link happen? It's a
certain energy that a man can respond to. And let
me tell you why. And this is just speaking from
my situation. Are people in this my scenario? I think
enough men have fumbled quality women to not allow that

(20:57):
to happen again. Okay, So when you find somebody that's right,
you say, you know what, I can't half step because
that pain I went through half stepping with that girl
I actually like, and now she with a nigga that's
actually bringing energy you like, That's not.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
Gonna happen again.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
So something as simple as being consistent with text messaging,
you know what I'm saying, Something as simple as indicator,
And I'm gonna say this, Okay. The key metric and
seeing if somebody likes you and it goes vice versa
is if they're willing to reciprocate that energy. And what
I'm finding is and that's why I made this video.
I know we're moving a little bit the gopost is

(21:32):
a lot of women are. They're leading when it comes
to dating. Now, they're initiating a lot of the text message.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Is that a problem because and I'm only asking you
that because I'm an initiator. Like, if I'm out and
I see a guy that looks good, I'm shooting my shot.
I don't mind letting a guy know that I'm interested.

Speaker 4 (21:50):
That's fine. But what I mean leading in dating, I
mean you are asking him when we're hanging out, you are, Hey,
you ain't took me out in a while. You're doing
a whole bunch of that. If you start to do
a whole bunch of that, he don't want to do.
He don't really like you like that. Now it's not
meaning that he can't grow to like you like that.
But you have to ask that woman that's dating. You

(22:12):
have to say, you know what, I'm willing to take
this gamble and you can't. You if you see those
signs you can't, then now blame him later on, when
this man is saying with his energy and his effort
that he interested, I ain't that interested.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I mean I think a lot of these men ain't
that interested in women to begin with.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
But that's a whole other sy.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
I'm just saying, I think men like to have sex
with women. I don't think they like women. But that's
but that's a that's that's another topic for another day,
especially living here in goddamn Atlanta.

Speaker 4 (22:42):
Can I say one more thing? Can I say one thing?
I'm speaking for myself, so for all the fellas that
are listening, if this don't apply to you, and don't
apply to you, oftentimes, that man only has the bandwidth
to really really like one woman at a time like that.
And what I mean is that man can entertain multiple women,
but he really likes one, and so the energy he's

(23:06):
not giving you is because his bandwidth with giving that
type of energy is somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Is that man thing or human thing? Because I feel
like I could, like right now, I like four people
about the same one. One I like the most because
he's been around the longest, but I like all four.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
I agree. I'm saying That's why I said my my
specific thing. I'm saying, you can only like one person
like that, like that, when it's when it's like okay,
good mornings, texting, calls, FaceTime, trips day like for me,
I can only do one person like that with that
type of energy. But that doesn't mean I can't entertain

(23:43):
other people. It's just I can't. I don't have the
band with it.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
And that's that's the part where where women don't understand.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
Like is it equal percentage?

Speaker 6 (23:51):
What do you mean for the four gentlemen that you
are my four boyfriends, the twenty five twenty four?

Speaker 3 (23:55):
Who's giving? Which one of the four is given? Right now?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Well, because they all long distance, they all get in
the same energy. They all long distance. Ain't nobody look
they are not you up, but they all get in
good morning, good night. They getting phone calls, they getting
face times, they getting like but one out of the four,
they all getting the same picture.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
You're interested in?

Speaker 7 (24:16):
Here?

Speaker 3 (24:16):
It counts?

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Can I can I fight back on that?

Speaker 3 (24:19):
So I believe.

Speaker 4 (24:20):
I believe in her instance, speaking from a woman's perspective,
I'm not a woman, but I'm just giving you an observation.
Because women and dating typically are receivers, it's easier to
receive the energies from from four different men equally because
oftentimes they tend to be the initiators. What I'm saying
is from a man that has to be a giver

(24:40):
to have to be that initiator. It's hard to energy
different ways that makes them to a level to where
she would think that she's special. You know what I'm saying, the.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Way I'm telling everybody my birthday coming up, I better
feel special.

Speaker 4 (24:53):
And outside, so to speak. So listen, let me let
me tell you this. Let me tell you how. There
is only one girl. A man, in my opinion from myself,
has the bandwidth to answer her calls no matter what. Right,
Because for that woman, if you're with another one, if
she's with you, you can't pick up the other girl's calls.

(25:15):
But if you're with the other girls, you can pick
up her call. You can walk out, you can do
whatever because you like whatever. But like, there's only there's
only one woman a man can just drop everything and
pick up her calls for you can't.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Have multiple unless they all know about each other.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
And we're not doing all my boyfriends know.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
About each other. I love that all of them know
about each other.

Speaker 4 (25:35):
So I'm speaking of open daters without being that transparent.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Oh well, the archetype is interesting. Fuck my type, not
my type. We're talking types. Where we want to go first, Jason,
do we want to get into Aisha Curry or do
we want to start Summer Walker.

Speaker 5 (25:52):
I think we should start with Summer Walker. Set the
table for it off.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
Summer Walker. Y'all recently turned heads when she appeared at
the VMA's Red Car with an older white man. And
when I say older white man, I'm not talking Brad
pitt Old. I'm talking Hugh Hefner, old like like he
was at least six to five seventy years old. He
was an old man. She introduced him as her special friend,

(26:16):
and for anyone asking how deep their relationship got, she
pretty much was just like Minu business. Now, for those
of you who have not been up to date with
Summer Walker and her public dating, she has a child
with producer what's his name London on the Track, and
then following that relationship, she got with a man who

(26:37):
she tetted on her face who went by the name Larry.
She has also dated Little Meach and Rico Recles, who
both are in the entertainment space. I would say, I
don't know what Larry did, but basically she is now
currently a single mother of I believe three, and I'm
not mad at her right now. She's she pretty much

(26:59):
took to instane to say, fuck my type. It hasn't worked,
and so I'm gonna try something new now. A lot
of people are also assuming that this may be a
sugar daddy. Look you're like okay and like that. She
may be dating now for other incentives outside of intimacy,
real love, real attraction, which way to face face.

Speaker 4 (27:24):
Because everybody dating for whatever reason, like you know what
I mean. And there's the sugar daddy aspect. If a
man is in his sixties, seventies, eighties, and he's gotten
to that point where he has the wealth enough to
share in a way, and this is how he likes
to express his care for somebody, let me tell you this,

(27:46):
do you.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Really do you really consider this dating then? And I
think that this has been my but this has been
my issue when and I talked about this on an
episode on an episode.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
No, I gotta say this to you.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
The reason why dating this prostitution.

Speaker 4 (27:58):
We don't know that because or right now, what we're
doing is we're stereotyping based off of his age and looks.
And this man may be there to support her mentally
in the way those other men and also valid he
may also have a bag so oftentimes we talk about
looking at somebody's spirit. Sometimes looking at their spirit is
looking past their vessel. And just because this man seems

(28:21):
to be a little bit older, doesn't mean his spirit
isn't beautiful to her, doesn't mean that they don't connect
in a certain way. And that and let me be
honest with you, a man that's seventy and eighty, he
probably got a lot of patience and a lot of
understanding and a lot of empathy because he has to
grow into that, and then there's a lot of wisdom there,
whereas if you're the other people that you're named, I
don't know them like that, right, some of them sound

(28:42):
like Whyians, it's like and so now you get to
the space where you get a seasoned man. I can see,
I mean I can see, and I'm gonna say it
from a male's perspective who has has entertained older women.
I can see the attraction there of someone with a

(29:04):
wealth of life experience.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Okay, I'm not mad at that. I would say, if
Summer is dating this man for all the things that
you said, yes, However, if she's dating him for any
financial gain financial reasons, to me, I think I've said
it before. If you are out here dating and immediately
counting a man's pockets or what they can do for
you financially, that to me is not dating. I'm sorry,

(29:27):
that is. That is transactional arrangements like they're no, because
there's a there's a website called seeking arrangement. If you
are seeing, if you are seeking an arrangement, then you're
not seeking a partnership or relationship in my mind, and
that's because I've been friends with I've been friends with
sex workers, prostitutes. To me, looking at a man for

(29:50):
what he can do provision wise and not everything else
makes you that. However, like you said, if she wants
the emotional intelligence, the those other things that you just mentioned,
then yes, she really could be looking for something.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Y Yo.

Speaker 4 (30:04):
You can be in a relationship with a woman you
were married to for five, ten, fifteen years and at
some point she sees you as the person that just
pays the bills, he takes care of things. A lot
of men have experienced that in relationships. And you ain't
seventy or eighty, you're thirty five and forty. A lot
of men that are taking care of bread winning you
know what I'm saying, still experience that with a youthful woman,

(30:27):
and they're still in her use. I guess what I'm
saying is, I'm the thing that hurts the most in
that scenario for the man is not knowing I didn't
know you were using me for my resources. I didn't
know you were only staying because of the security. I
thought you'd loved me. So if I think it's a
man gets to a phase where transparently up front I

(30:51):
know what the arrangement is, a lot of men would
be okay with that. I want to.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
I want to I want to push I want to
push back just a little bit on that, because I
do feel like when you're in a relationship as a man,
like you said, and you show up as the provider,
you pay the bills, and now you're only seen as
that is because a lot of men lead with will
I do this as if that's the caveat and reason
for them being there, as to why they don't show
up emotionally, as to why they don't date anymore. I

(31:16):
pay the bills, I could do whatever I want. And
so a lot of times when a woman views a
man just as that, it's a lot of times because
the man puts themselves in that place to be seen
just as that because that's the value that they bring
to the relationship.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Well, we add a lot of sauce to this because
what I'm saying is, regardless of those variables, right, what
I'm saying is, oftentimes a man is motivated to do
that because no, it's not even that, it's because he
loves the woman he's with.

Speaker 6 (31:44):
You.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
You love that woman you're with, You trust that woman
you're with. Now, that doesn't mean he's an effective husband.
That that could be true, But what I'm saying is
his motivation to do that. He's not doing that for
a woman he doesn't love, he doesn't like it, he
doesn't want to be with no more. Oftentimes it is
I care about you, so I'm sharing. We're on the
same bank accountch you have access to my money, you

(32:05):
have access to my credit cards, because that's the way
I show I care about you. What I'm saying is
men are okay with that. They're just not okay with
not being on the same page. If the page is hey,
this is transactional. I think a lot of men, if
they wanted that, would choose that. But if you're under
if you're here under the pretense that you loved me
back also, and that stopped a while ago, and you're

(32:28):
not letting me know, and you're still reaping the benefits,
and then you start plotting and then the divorce and
you're taking money. A lot of men don't like that.
So man, listen, because I didn't want to even get
into the gender war stuff, but you made it. You
made it a well, he ain't doing this. This is
why she no, it's it's my experience as a man, yes,

(32:48):
divorced from how you feel about it as a woman,
and whatever happened in this relationship. What I'm saying is
my experience is saying I'm okay, regardless of whatever got
us here with if a seven, if I'm seventy and eighty, yep,
my first wife died. That's the only woman that I
want to love in my lifetime. I do not want

(33:09):
to get married again. I have all this money, My
kids got kids, and they doing their own thing. Nobody
called me no more, nobody visited me no more. And
so I got all this money.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
And I'm gonna go date.

Speaker 4 (33:21):
So I'm gonna go date Summer Walker, and listen, she
may not really love me like that. But she loved
me enough to not lie about that. She loves me
enough to say no, I'm not saying this is what
she's doing. But anybody in the situation you love me
enough to tell me, hey, listen, this is fun when
you with me, We're gonna have fun. We're gonna do
fun things'a. I'm gonna help you feel young. Now, let's

(33:44):
be honest. I'll probably not gonna marry you, and he
probably don't want that.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Probably don't want to be married.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
I guess what I'm saying. There's people for everybody. As
long as you're upfront about your intentions.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
I don't have no.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Problem with I'm not gonna lie. I one hundred percent
agree with that. Now, I want to talk about what
respect and maybe like in your husband looks like, because
the internet is saying that Ayshad Curry does not like
sub Curry does not respect him. She has come out
multiple times during the pandemic. She came out and I
believe it was another podcast she shared that she likes

(34:16):
the attention or would love the attention from other men
to make her feel seen, but recently she sat on
car Daddy and we have a clip for what she
had to say about before they became husband and wife.
What did I used to say?

Speaker 7 (34:30):
Jason thought that he would like someone like me. I
just didn't think it was going to be a thing.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Friends.

Speaker 8 (34:40):
Yeah, did you ever have any thing in high school
at all?

Speaker 4 (34:45):
Or it was legit?

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Just friends?

Speaker 8 (34:47):
Just friends, just friends. Yeah, I get what you're saying.
I'm like, you never saw him as something. But I'm like,
when you look back, is there any memory that you're like,
maybe there.

Speaker 5 (34:56):
Was something or no.

Speaker 7 (34:57):
Never, I in the beginning hated it so much.

Speaker 5 (35:03):
I like, did not sign up for that.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
I also always thought like.

Speaker 7 (35:10):
I didn't know that he was gonna end up playing
basketball like I. He said he wanted to be a
high school basketball coach, Like I thought.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
I thought I was.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Gonna be like the girl out there getting it. So
I didn't know.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
I just never what's.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
It the money? So she thought she was gonna gonna
be the she was gonna be thee, she was gonna
be the big person. Thought that he was just gonna
be that also started like she thought that they were
just gonna be friends. She didn't really like him like that.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Also said she didn't think that he would like her
that that was the first.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah, there was, there was.

Speaker 6 (35:51):
I mean, but why are we hearing so much of
this from you? See what I mean about clips?

Speaker 3 (35:56):
Right?

Speaker 6 (35:56):
Yeah, but we're hearing that thing from her for the
last five years we had she doesn't Oh I didn't
like him, man.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, I'm gonna defend that comment, though, You're gonna defend
which part the comment when she was talking about, you know,
quote unquote attention from other men because I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Okay, Yes, could you find the exact quote, Jason that
she said.

Speaker 4 (36:24):
I know the spirit of what she's saying. The spirit
is imagine being with one of the most sought after
men in this country.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
No, he's not.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
No, women do not want Steph Curry. Bro.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
I think men want Steph Curry because Steth Curry is
a three point shooter in the league. Women do not
want Steph Curry. Bro.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Okay, time out, time out. Let's let's let's let's.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Don't want him. Let no woman in my group chat
be like, damn you see Steph Curry.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
Men want Steph Curry because he can shoot three pointers.
Women are not out here wanting Steph Curry.

Speaker 7 (36:58):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
Okay, we got to want quote.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Now, Yeah, what's the quote? Exactly?

Speaker 5 (37:02):
All right, So this is May said she was on
Red Table Talk.

Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yes, it's something that really bothers me and honestly has
given me a sense a little bit of insecurity. Is
the fact that, yeah, there are all these women like
throwing themselves at him, but me, like the past ten years,
I don't.

Speaker 5 (37:15):
Have any of that. Any men themselves, I have zero.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
This sounds weird, but like male attention, and so then
I begin to internalize it, and I'm like, it's something
wrong with me.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
So let me let me first give context to both
the things. Yes, both the things are. That's why I
said we have to see people as human beings. When
you don't see people as human beings and you only
see her as Steph Curry's wife, then now there's a
level of expectation that she's not also experienced in the
human experience. One thing about the human experience is in
anybody who's been in a long term relationship will feel

(37:48):
this like you want to know. Yes, of course your
partner's gaze is the only gaze that truly matters. But
you know, when you start walking into rooms and no
one turns their head and that happens over and over again,
and the person you're with people turn their heads at him.
Like she said, she was, like, you know, you may

(38:10):
feel like he's not desirable and a lot of other
but but also you have.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
To I can't believe they have so many kids. They
don't even look like they have sex.

Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm gonna be I'm gonna be real with you. I'm
gonna be real with anybody. Anybody that's six three, light eyed,
no no offense, like light skinned, light skin of three
hundred million plus plus. I mean the only reason you
feel that way right now is because he ain't on

(38:39):
demon time. If that man, if that man was, if
that man wasn't married, it was on demon time, like Clay,
like you can say, nobody, I'm gonna tell you relationship.
You know, I'm just saying before. I'm saying before. Clay
has an extensive dating history and if he was married
right now, nobody would think that he was that guy.

(38:59):
But like he's married, Steph has been married, so he's
always given off husband energy. So that repels respectful women, right, Okay,
respectful A lot of women that may not be respectful.
So when you're looking at those not respectful women. Look
at your husband, OK, And you look at not how
your husband looks at those not respectful women. You look

(39:19):
at how other women look at yeah, those non respectful women,
and how other men look at those non respectful respectful women.
And then you say, well, the women that like my
husband get the gaze of male attention, but I don't.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
You're looking at her from a human element. But do
you think it is right as a wife, not even
Steth Curry's wife, as a wife, to complain about not
receiving male attention.

Speaker 4 (39:45):
I'm saying the thing about having these microphones is that
your goal is to share your experience and be brave
enough because there are certain people that can relate to that.
There's so many women in relationships right now that don't
feel beautif full.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Because other people not.

Speaker 4 (40:03):
There's a lot of men, there's a lot of men
that have been in a relationship with a woman who hurt.
She don't feel beautiful herself, So you saying it to
her don't even matter no more and so and it's
and it shouldn't be like that. But we are human beings,
we are back. So when she's saying stuff like that,
now I'm gonna go back to the type the actual
thing that she was talking about. It goes back to

(40:25):
I understand the spirit of what she's saying, though, because
I'm gonna tell you this, every dude, not every dude.
I can use certain men. You ain't the ship until
you become the ship. And sometimes that what I mean
is the motivation of being overlooked is what motivates a
lot of men to become something. Because these women overlook

(40:49):
me rightfully, so like I don't even think I hate me,
and to be like you that way, Like.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Was there a moment where even where you're at now
with your fame, the comments that like continuing to become
bigger because you fell overlooked at one point and now
people are throwing themselves at you because you're a millionaire.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
Yeah, but yes, but also yes, but see here's.

Speaker 5 (41:12):
The thing, Like I never tell her to stop pocket watching.

Speaker 3 (41:17):
I never.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
That's what got me, But I never I never stopped.
Like I'm gonna say this, like and so I'm gonna
answer your question, but I'm a stick to landing on
the step thing. So if in high school, yes, he
didn't get the girl he wanted, that's what motivated him
to be better so he can get the girl he wanted.
Steph may have not have been hit her type then

(41:40):
because he didn't have the attributes he grew into having
when he became her type. You get what I'm saying.
So I think it's unfair to be like, well, she
didn't think he was her type. Maybe her type was ambition,
Maybe her tent her type with somebody that had a
certain level of grind and charisma, and maybe he had
to grow into that by finding his confidence.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
He she said he wanted to.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Be a high high school basketball He didn't even have.

Speaker 4 (42:04):
The same confidence in his ability when he was in
tenth grade. But then now you grow into a man
that got a confidence and that know his shot is
the shot, and know he gonna be this and that
that's a different attraction. So I don't even think the
spirit of what she's saying was horrible. I just think
it's up to us to see these people as people,
real people.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
Now.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Going back, and it looked like she would have accepted
him if he was a coach.

Speaker 4 (42:28):
No no, no, no, no, no no no.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
No.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
Let's be very clear here. Let's be very clear here.
A man that's walking in his true calling is a
different type of man, and that man exudes certain energy
that women are attracted to. If that man really didn't
want to be a basketball coach, but he was just
settling for that because that's.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
He didn't think he would make the NBA.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
The type of aura he would have exhibited, wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
She wouldn't have been with him.

Speaker 4 (42:57):
It wouldn't wouldn't attracted that. And so I'm not saying
you can't be a basketball coach in a tract women,
It's just that gotta be.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
What you what you want. I'm not mad at that. Yeah,
I agree.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
I told with myself, like, first of all, i'ma be
honest with you this stage in my life, you know
what I mean. I always look for things to put
a chip on my shoulder, Like I always look for
something to motivate me to be better, or to get
up at six am and work into ten pm. And
I use that as few but not to say when

(43:29):
I get on how Hi, you didn't like me or
you didn't support me, you ain't gonna have a chance
in me. It's for me to say, you know what,
if this is the lifestyle I want or the type
of women I want or the type of access I want.
These are the rooms I want to be in. I
can't be mad at people for not giving me that
access if I didn't do the work to earn and
deserve that. And so I'm constantly doing that. So like

(43:52):
even in high school, I mean I probably had access
to some chicks. When I was early twenties, I had
access to women. I was, you know, having sex with
the best of them. But I was having sex with
women that was cool with sleeping on a mattress that
was on the floor, you know what I'm saying. Like
when I used to bring people to my apartment when
I was twenty two twenty three, we was fucking on
a mattress that was.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
I don't fucked on an air mattress before. I can't
believe I did that, but see maybe by the end
of it. By the end of it, like our knees
was hitting the goddamn ground because the air the air
was coming out. How old was I when I fucked
on an air mattress? I was, I was like twenty,
I was twenty, I feel ain't. I was working on
making my money to buy my IQ in platform bed,
which by the way, I broke so many of them,

(44:32):
goddamn shits them was terrible. I think it's interesting because
when we talk about the human element, you're talking about, yes, feelings,
but you're not considering the feelings of also the other person.
So let me ask all of y'all this as men.
You choose a woman, you're happy with this woman, you're
now married to this woman. Is there not any element

(44:52):
of where you feel a way that these are the
narratives or these are the stories, or these are the
feelings did they choose to share publicly?

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Well?

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Like, should step feel a way that these are the
topics that she chooses to keep having where it's almost
somewhat disrespectful to their union, to their to their marriage.

Speaker 4 (45:11):
No, in the grand scheme of things, I can understand
the perspective of what you're asking this question, but I
also say it would be unfair taking it out of well,
I'm just saying in the context I'm talking about I
don't know them as people, but it would be unfair
for a person that gives his everything to the public.

(45:32):
That man is on the road probably two hundred he
gives pieces of himself. He probably stays after a basketball game,
signing autographs and this, and that he gets pieces. So
many people have an interest in his life and intrudes
because of who he is. Now to say that she

(45:52):
can't be also sharing a light in some type of
way with the world and what she's passionate about.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
No passionate about cooking. She could sell them pots and
pants to me. To me like, literally, I have an
eye you should carry pot and pan. The skill it
it's really it's really nice to me though, when we're
talking about human experiences, human behavior. Yes, she's a human
first woman second, but she's also a wife. And so
for me, I do think that there's an element of

(46:20):
when I hop on this mic, when you op in
this mic, when you were a long standing relationship, you
have your thoughts, but you were considerate of the things
that you brought to the microphone because you cared about
that person. So to me, there's an element of just
not caring about your partner when you choose to get
on a mic and share something that could be detrimental
in terms of how the public is going to view

(46:43):
your union or the content that you're sharing.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
Let me ask you a question, and I say, it
is my ex hated.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
A lot of things I share on here, so I'm
very considerate with what I share on the mic.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
Now is she a human first or a wife?

Speaker 3 (46:52):
First?

Speaker 1 (46:54):
I said she's a human first, then a woman then whe.

Speaker 4 (46:55):
Okay, now the human or the wife? Which side of
her was most excited to be invited on the red
table talk? The human or the wife?

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Probably the woman?

Speaker 3 (47:08):
The human?

Speaker 4 (47:09):
Which part of her was most excited to be on
calling Daddy the wife or the human? I mean the human?
And so what I'm saying is like, I get we
serve these roles in other people's lives, but we are
always the main characters in ours. And two often women,
especially wives, are regulated to be in the co star
in somebody else's story. In this life with her, that

(47:33):
Nigga's orbit is so big that it's probably hard for
her to find herself in her individuality because his gravitational
pull on what he does pulls her in.

Speaker 3 (47:43):
You know what?

Speaker 1 (47:44):
This reminds me of oh Boy who started dating Simone
Biles and as soon as he had a fucking mic
in front of him, he chose to go up and
be like, yeah, she wasn't my type. Like to me,
and I get what you're saying with But what I'm
saying is when we talk about this big orbit of
a Steph Curry, to me, there's something that if the

(48:06):
roles were reversed, if if Ayisha Curry was this big,
mega superstar and every time her partner got on a
mic she said some bullshit. To me, there has to
be where yes, you're human first, but there's also you
have to see kind of what's being done, and it's
it's whether it's insecurity, feeding it, whether it's she don't

(48:27):
really respect her partner, she doesn't really like him like
that regardless. Yes, that's the wife element of it. But
every time a guy da microphone gets in front of
her face, she does something that seemingly embarrasses her union.
Which again, if you put it in hindsight, if a
man did that to a woman, it's the same thing.
It's the same thing that right now Sierra's getting Sea's
getting annoyed with. Sierra's on a press run for her

(48:48):
new album, and here goes fucking Russell bringing up when
I'm gonna put another baby in you, and the same
thing is happening. Russell, This isn't your moment. This isn't
about talking about y'all. In your relationship. Why can't you
just be happy for it? Your your wife who's dropping
an album hasn't dropped an album in a while, like,
and people are talking about him, Like, bro, just support
your wife.

Speaker 4 (49:08):
You just said, and he's gonna do it exactly what
you just said, the same that's the same thing is true.
This woman who has supported you to where you can
be one of the biggest basketball stars in the world,
because she's locking down the home, she's coming to the games,
she's there when you had a bad practice to speak

(49:29):
life and you this, that and the other. Why can't
we expect him in this moment to support her? She
got a call to be on Call her Daddy, one.

Speaker 1 (49:37):
Of the biggest podcasts on the plane on the planet.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
And so to make this moment about how I feel
about something you said here and there? That is your truth.
When you have supported me in all the decisions that
I've made for this family, that to me would be
that would be grossly unfair. So when I'm saying to
you is, while I do understand that there are certain

(50:02):
things you can say in public that would disrespect your marriage,
I don't think she did that. Okay, I think we
are just feeling this way because of her orbit to
Steph Curry, and we think because she's with Steph Curry,
she shouldn't say anything like this at all, when we
all know that what she said is the experience of
so many women and men.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Okay, like what she said, Like I said, I mean,
I don't agree, but what man?

Speaker 3 (50:26):
What man? No, I'm not gonna put me in under
the bus.

Speaker 4 (50:28):
But there's a lot of men that may be married,
that may be married. You go out with your boys,
you you don't necessarily look for women to look at you.
But if a woman came up to you and was like,
oh you so handso blah blah blah blah, you're gonna say, man,
I'm married. You know what I'm saying. No, that's not
what hold on.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
Up here. That is not.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Do not woman go up to a man and be like,
ooh you so handsome. I guarantee you the note response,
I appreciate that. That is not the response Jason the journalist.

Speaker 5 (51:09):
Sure, but maybe maybe they can appreciate that.

Speaker 6 (51:12):
But maybe you don't have to say. Maybe you could
just receive that and that's it. That'll be the end
of converss. And they do not respond like a response
from the woman. That's an opportunity to.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Allow y'all to live right now, that does not be
the response. Married men do not respond to that.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
Overall point is.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
If they are interested in it. If they are not
interested in the woman, if the woman is not attractive,
they might say that. If the woman is an attractive woman,
they do not lead with I am married.

Speaker 4 (51:38):
No, they don't sit there and entertaining woman.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
If you subjective, I have to keep the cigarete.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
Let's let's make it not about she came and approached.
But let's say you walked in and a woman looked
at you a certain type of way, right, it it
as huge means that does do something for us. It's
it's not like it has to replace, like I said,
the gaze of your partner. But when you start going

(52:08):
year after year after year after year, right, and no
one gives you a look, and then, let me tell
you why with her. The reason men probably don't look
at her way at all.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Because they want her man.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
No, no, no, because they know who a man is, right, respectful.
That's not a shot at all. So now it's just like, damn,
I know he thinks I'm sexy. My husband, and yes,
that should be enough. But there's so many people in
the world that can relate to her experience. So that's
what I'm sayings not to Savannah. Hey, listen, I'm glad

(52:43):
Savannah would never she.

Speaker 5 (52:46):
She's not on the microphone, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (52:50):
Whole podcast.

Speaker 5 (52:52):
I know, but she's not the guest. She's she's the
home So she's asking the questions.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
She's not.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
She's talking. She shared her experience being Lebron James, but
vacilatiously where you're like, because she ain't disrespected, But I
don't think she's being silatious.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Like, consider this, right, when we're talking about relationships and types, right,
on a basic level, what people are seeking is to
have a partner, right, whether that's marriage or not, they're
seeking to have a partner.

Speaker 5 (53:17):
And so Aisha is somebody who has that.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
And so she's speaking about her participation in it and
how way back at the beginning, she didn't think this
person would be there to have the thing that she
has now, right, and so like, in some ways, it's
I think she's also demystifying the process.

Speaker 5 (53:31):
Marriage is weird, it's strange, and it's difficult.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
And way back at the beginning, this person who I
didn't even think I would get to, who just wanted
to be a high school basketball coach. Right, I didn't
think he was my type, and I didn't think that
I was his type. And now we're here, I don't
necessarily think it's like her like disrespecting, as much as
sort of like demystifying the process.

Speaker 5 (53:51):
Granted, it's a clip, so I don't know the.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
Full extent of it, but you know that that's usually
you speak to a lot of people who are in
deep relationships.

Speaker 5 (53:58):
And the beginning of it was I didn't think.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
It's funny because I want to lean into a little
bit of what A said earlier with now with Summer Walker.
But even this, with what we're saying about Aisha Curry,
you put a really you put some really good information
in here about why most people actually end up dating
someone who isn't their type. So relationship researchers Paul Eastwick
and Samantha Joel did a twenty twenty five studies, So y'all,

(54:21):
this is this is current. You can ask people all
day what they find attractive and a partner, but none
of the many traits people list including physical attractiveness stand
out is being more important than the rest in predicting
how satisfied people are with their relationships. I'm curious to ask.
I know, you're you're divorce a king, You're damn. I'm sorry,

(54:44):
I mean, I'm just I want to know if, even you, Jason,
who you guys ended up with the longest in your life,
if they were your type? Why or why not?

Speaker 4 (54:52):
Who?

Speaker 1 (54:53):
As a meant like your partner who you were with
for for X amount of years Jason, you now if
you had a type go into it, is your current
partner that type or what seered you away from the type?
And how?

Speaker 5 (55:07):
I think I think that my wife is sort of
in funny, she's upstairs. I don want to be too
to come down here and shut this whole podcast.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
I think she's actually the combination of like the last
two women that I dated.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Oh that's crazy, Oh yeah, get kicked out plus more.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (55:25):
I think that I think there was things that I
liked about these two previous women, but for some reason
when I was younger, like it wasn't enough Either it
wasn't enough out of myself or it wasn't enough out
of them, and then you know, with her, I saw
one woman in her, I saw another woman in her,
but then you know, she brought something that and more
than yeah, and it was more and you know, and
I like, I could probably say that I had a type,

(55:46):
but to the point of, like what you said with
the study, like you know, the thing that like ultimately
emerges is something that you didn't even consider. And I
think that's why sometimes people will tell you like, oh,
you're going to marry her, and you're like, damn, I
didn't even see.

Speaker 5 (55:58):
I didn't even know the thing that I was looking
for because I always keep looking at my gonna lie.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
My man saw it and was like, are you done,
And then like five years later he was like, called
it told you period.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
I mean one of my boyfriends right now is under
six feet tall, and that's normally not my type.

Speaker 5 (56:15):
Sure, I.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
Think you got the you know when you go to
doctor's office.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
No no, no, no, no, no, no, no deadass. I
used to be like, I'm not dating anyone even under
six three. And I think now getting older, you have
energy that that actually supersedes everything that kind of you
go in when you date that you think you want
and then the energy if someone actually keeps you there

(56:43):
longer then than their physical attributes, because then you also know,
after a while them physical attributes are gonna start, you know,
they're gonna start following off just a little bit. Now,
I guess we can get into all the messiness of
types real quick to close us out here, And I
do want to just say my thoughts on this because
I think the Internet and their selective outrage about it

(57:05):
is absolutely ridiculous. Miguel made a surprise announcement that welcomed
to baby last year with his new girlfriend filmmaker and
she's also like Bogue something with Bogue Margaret saying they
began dating in twenty twenty three to let y'all know,
he was with Nazanine Mandy. They split in twenty twenty one. However,
they were together for like twenty years. They were together

(57:27):
for a long time.

Speaker 5 (57:28):
Two thousand and five, since yeah, they were married in
twenty so.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
They were together for okay, so about eighteen years. The
Internet is having a fuss about the fact that he's
celebrating this new family audition with a woman that's not
the woman that he was just with for eighteen years. However,
in a twenty nineteen podcast interview, Nazanine did say she
wanted kids, just not right now as she was focusing

(57:52):
on her career. I think that there's a timing around things,
and I also she doesn't have kids even now, so
this idea that she could even have them, whether it
be through her own womb, adopting, surrogacy, whatever. I hate
the conversation around this. Nigga had a baby with somebody
that wasn't her. You don't know if they were trying

(58:13):
at any point. You don't know how tumultuous their relationship
was towards the end. You don't know her decision to
not have a baby with this man. A lot of
times the decision is on the woman, and y'all know
I'm pro choice all the way, So we don't really
know the ins and outs of that relationship, whether or
not she was ever pregnant by him. I hate, hate,

(58:34):
hate the outrage of the internet whenever it comes to
the conversation around what a woman is doing with their body?

Speaker 4 (58:41):
Can I add a thought real quickly?

Speaker 5 (58:43):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (58:44):
So what in my favorite series? Okay, y'all, if I
can't say, you can always weep it out. I like
Black Mirror, right, Okay, I love Black Mirror. And the
reason I love Black Mirror is because every episode can
be standalone. You don't need to watch the whole season
to understand.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (59:02):
I feel like in our lives, our chapters, we feel
have to bleed into each other and they have to
build off of each other, but they don't. This is
a new chapter that stand alone, that has.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Nothing nothing to do with relationship. Okay.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
And I think when we all as human beings start
to look at our chapters that way, we can move
on from things quicker. We can stop pocket watching or
progress watching or baby watching our ex because we know
that our current chapter don't have to have anything to
do with our previous one, and our partners next chapter
don't have to be an indictment on ours. This is

(59:39):
the chapter we shared together. It was good while we
had it. In this season, in our lives, we did
the best we could.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
We're moving forward, moving forward, and hey, Jason, write to
clip down. That's the clip that was one of the
best analogies I've heard. But you're very true, very true.
And I think I think the fact that who we
are as individuals and how we ESSENTI end up growing.
In terms of the relationships we have, we talk about
being fully healed from previous relationships or bringing those traumas

(01:00:08):
into new ones to where you're right, they don't have
to bleed the way we assume them to bleed, and
so I like that, and I think that that's exactly
what this relationship shows. Their relationship, no matter how long
they were together, didn't work out. They're also the blessing
of not having to be tied to a person that

(01:00:28):
it didn't work out with. I think that's another thing
we don't consider when there's children in relationships made you
now are bonded to that person for life. There are
relationships that I have in my past that I'm so
grateful we're able to end without the attachments of a child.
And I think we have to allow that for the
women that we know, for the single mothers we know,
for how hard that is, it's celebratory and should be

(01:00:51):
celebrated that we know this partnership between them did not
last ended in a divorce or ended however it ended,
and now she is able to go and start a
life or a family with someone else without the attachment
to someone that didn't work.

Speaker 4 (01:01:06):
I'm gonna say this. This would be my little small
testimony time. Okay, Like a couple of months ago, I
was talking to a friend and it was interesting because
I used this analogy. I get my name Ace metaphor
from Ace comes from paid them Full Character. That's one
of my favorite movies.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
We talked about that in Black Cinema and one.

Speaker 4 (01:01:30):
Of my favorite scenes is when he's talking and he
after he got shot, and he said, Man, I'm walking different. Man,
I'm talking different, like I'm fucked up for real, right,
And earlier this year, a couple of months ago, I
was having that conversation with a person and I'm like, yo,
like I'm fucked like, I'm walking different, like I look
at people different, just based off of a lot of

(01:01:50):
things that has been transpired in my life. And at
that time I thought it was a negative thing. But
then you start to love the way you now walk
and the way you now talk and the way you think,
and you realize whatever that fucked up thing that happened
was necessary for your elevation. And I just question people

(01:02:15):
who have went through divorces or breakups can be traumatic.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
It can be and PTC literally, it can make.

Speaker 4 (01:02:22):
You think different but see what we do is we
don't embrace that as the vehicle of growth. Oftentimes we
stagnated in our lives because we didn't have that catalyst
to grow into what we were actually supposed to be
in our next chapter in life.

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
That's literally what my therapist said. My therapist was like
when breakups in bad or when they're tumultuous, and when
you're really hurt by it, you question whether any of
it was real. You hate the person and you kind
of lean into that hate. And it took a while,
and within therapy it was like, but look at who
you become through that relationship. Look at what you were

(01:02:58):
able to learn about yourself, what you were able to
learn about what you want in partnership moving in the future.
You might not have been able to learn any of
this without him, without this relationship. And so I think,
like you said, we kind of hate how we feel
because it hurts, it sucks. It's like, why do I
have to feel this way? Why did I have to
go through this? And it's not until you could reach

(01:03:19):
the other side that damn without this, I wouldn't be
able to find my worth and value or voice in
a relationship. I wouldn't be able to know how to
move differently. But it takes people a lot of times
to be able to look at something as a lesson
instead of like, why was this done to me? A
lot of us like to say in a victim mindset
in terms of breakup, breakups, relationships, things that don't go

(01:03:41):
the way we plan it to go, instead of looking
at it as no, this was a lesson that I
can be happy happened.

Speaker 4 (01:03:48):
Let me take it at the time it did. Let
me take it a step further, because while I everything
you said was facts, oftentimes it's not even your thoughts
and relation to them. It's what that experienced turned you
into that you start not liking like you didn't like

(01:04:09):
you like the fact that when you could trust everybody,
now when you walk in the room you look at
people different ye when somebody betrayed you, Like if you've
never experienced that the way you were able to so
freely just give And then now you can't do it
no more. Now you're vetting people more and you don't
like what this experience turn But that's why I said, Man,

(01:04:31):
maybe my leg don't work the same as it used to,
but the way I'm this limp is kind of cool.
You know what, Now I got a little swag. You
know what I'm saying, Like you, you start to really
embrace those changes and what I'm encouraging people. And that's
why the heartbreak thing is something a lot of people

(01:04:51):
can relate to. Is in your new season. Before you
can get other people to love reading your chapter, you
gotta love right. I want everybody to love the story
that they're now crafting, no matter how grim or if
you're starting over, you gotta start loving those words. Because

(01:05:11):
when you start loving those words, everybody sees the passion
you're bringing to your own life. And then this is
how you get other people to be intrigued, and this
is how you find your next partner, and this is
how you have that baby maybe you always wanted or
just wanted right, this is now part of your new
chapter that you're now loving. And then here's the thing.
The one thing I learned about turnover in chapters, there's

(01:05:34):
always gonna be motherfuckers that missed the old man. I
wish the way you used to write, and why did
you have a baby with that other person? They want
to bring you back to.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
The I was gonna say I love to point out
the hypocrisy in people. The way that people are so
upset with Miguel about celebrating the birth of this kids
is literally the opposite in the way they celebrated Cassie
having the family with Alex Fine and not having it
with What Diddy. So to see that women have literally

(01:06:04):
celebrated Cassie for having a life with her next partner.
I don't understand why Miguel has looked at as the
villain for having this family with his new partner.

Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
Y'all know.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
I love to point out the hypocrisy and y'all and
I'm just saying there was a stark difference in how
y'all responded to both of those people publicly undiagnosed and
listen may be undiagnosed. Well, listen. At the end of
the day, I want you all to know, if y'all
been listening to me for a while, I got a question.
I no longer got a type. What's your question?

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
Faced?

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
Because this is gonna be final thoughts. You are a
brilliant dude, Anie Ainty, not even on the mic marketing.
This man is a genius.

Speaker 6 (01:06:39):
Gene can say that you probably haven't heard right but
the way you speaking Gospeling here today, you don't sound
like you're trying to be outside too long.

Speaker 4 (01:06:51):
He remember how we talked about best practices.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
He'd share best practices. It don't mean he practiced.

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
Honestly. Honestly, I'll be honest with you. The last thing
I've been thinking about lately is dating multiple women and
being and doing that thing, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I got this tour coming up, I gotta I got
really focused on the more important things, and there's there's
always gonna be a time, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,

(01:07:24):
But it's not like I'm closed off to it, like
I you know, I just wanted to take some time
for me. I gave a relationship seven years of my life.
I did a I call it a be like I'm
out now. And what's more exciting about that isn't me

(01:07:44):
spreading myself amongst other women. It's me being able to
be intentional about what I wanted to do. I moved
to a city, a different city, I didn't have to
consult with people. I'm making choices for myself and then
relearning that. And see, I love that part. And I'm
telling you I love every part of this game, this
game called life, yo, it's always peaks and valleys and shit,
you got a love very part of it. And this

(01:08:06):
ship would be born as fuck if all you did
was win. I'm telling you, everybody just want to win.
But then if you only won, would you even like
the game?

Speaker 1 (01:08:14):
Would you even like would it be fun? We get
a little start over? Yes, well, a thank you so
much for joining me. You dropped nothing but Gym's here.
I appreciate you. And if you guys are want to
see this as a duo, they'll be. We'll be joined
by four other people. It won't be an orgy on stage,
but we will be on the stage, y'all. I'll be

(01:08:34):
joining Tonight's conversation November I believe six or eighth in
New York City, and then I'll be uh maybe the
next week after in Atlanta. You know what, Let me
get them dates. I actually got the fly. Let me
let me not just throw it out.

Speaker 4 (01:08:47):
November eighth, New York and then.

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
It's eleven, oh, the twenty second, So November eighth, New York,
November twenty second in Atlanta. I'll be joining a lot
of your faves on the internet. And on the stage
with tonight's conversations. Y'all make sure y'all get them tickets.
Come pull up on us if you haven't yet either,
speaking to what A said. All of these chapters end

(01:09:11):
with periods, but they are still ongoing chapters because I'm
still learning about literally everything I put in this book
about myself, about how I value myself in relationships and
with myself. So no holds bar to do a manifesto,
sexual exploration and power. It is a New York Times bestseller. Baby,
make sure you go and get that wherever you get books.
And thank you guys so much. If you're in Atlanta,

(01:09:31):
make sure you tune in every Saturday six to eight
pm off the clock on Hot one O seven nine.
That's right, baby, I'm y'all. Y'all just go out to
hear me everywhere, okay, And as always, this is another
episode of Selective Ignorance, where curiosity lives, controversy thrives, and
conversations matter. See you next week. Shout out to Black
Fact five years five year annivers We Baby, We celebrate

(01:09:56):
Like the Ignorance, a production of the Black Podcast Network.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio, app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite ships.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Thanks for tuning in the Selective Ignorance of Mandy B.
Selective Ignorance. It's executive produced to Buy Mandy B. And
it's a Full Court Media studio production with lead producers
Jason Mondriguez.

Speaker 5 (01:10:17):
That's me and Aaron A. King Howell.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
Now, do us a favor and rate, Subscribe, comment and
share wherever you get your favorite podcast, and be sure
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And of course, if you're not following our host Mandy B,
make sure you're following her at full Court Pumps.

Speaker 4 (01:10:35):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
If you want the folly video Selective Ignorance, make sure
you subscribe to the Patreon. It's patreon dot com backslash
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Ep. 33 | Should We Stick to Our "Type"? feat. Ace Metaphor

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 33 | Should We Stick to Our "Type"? feat. Ace Metaphor