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October 7, 2025 35 mins

What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure.

I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

  • Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners?
  • What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy?
  • Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret?
  • Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared?
  • When is sharing your fantasies a good idea?

You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

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The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch 

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on FacebookTwitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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