Survivor's Guide with Nazeem Hussain

Survivor's Guide with Nazeem Hussain

Comedian Nazeem Hussain writes the definitive survivor's guide to absolutely everything, harnessing the knowledge of a series of collaborators even less qualified than him. With the help of producers Amy Ruffle and James Milsom, Naz brings you the know-how you'll need to conquer the challenges that everyone faces, and even to tackle the things that happen to no one. Ever. More via tricksy.co

Episodes

July 25, 2021 29 min

We're in Victorian lockdown once again, so the ol' team gets together for a little catch up, in which Naz tries to work out the maths of things, and no one helps him, because it's more fun when we don't help him. Also we have no comprehension of what he is trying to say.

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Naz, Amy and James say goodbye after an insane amount of episodes in 2020. And it's goodbye forever, but only until the masses demand a come back, which will be welcomed. But for seriously: we have too much to do in the first bit of 2021 to keep doing this pod properly, so we're taking a break and we'll come back to you when the time is right.

Thank you for supporting this project. We have loved every flamin' minute.

...

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December 13, 2020 28 min

Naz tries to organise a Christmas party for the pod. And he's bad at it. Or he's not even trying.

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December 7, 2020 19 min

Naz turns up early to something and gets a much needed freak check.

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Wil gives Naz a unique strategy to help him to smuggle drugs, in case it ever comes to that. Naz effectively confesses to something fairly heinous and tries to implicate James and Amy in his criminal conspiracy.

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November 22, 2020 20 min

Merrick takes a break from his hectic schedule of jumping out of helicopters and being a punching bag for stronger men to give us some tips on how he does it all. Naz seems confused again, pitching what is surely a product of his twisted mind and not an actual Japanese reality show.

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Chas gives us heaps of his own back story, detailing the fact that his education has largely been Diff'rent Strokes and TV game shows. Oh and he tells us what up with the US elections, capping off our Survivor's Guide to the USA mini-series. Naz reveals he only just saw Titanic, and was disappointed there was no Abba in the soundtrack.

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Mitch reveals who the fast food of comedy is. Naz didn't even eat fast food until he was an adult, and it's not clear what we're meant to do with that information.

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Jon Gabrus gives us the low down on American bachelor parties, and what it's like to have one by yourself. Naz reveals the real reason he wants to go the USA.

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Charlie Pickering gives us the hard data on the US Presidential Election, and things aren't sounding great for the Trumpster (if you're reading this from a future in which he wins again in 2020, you should know that there was a time when lots of people genuinely believed he wouldn't). Naz reveals that he has friendship strategies, tailored differently for different people. It's weird but delightful.

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Dr Nikki Goldstein answers Survivor Elspeth's question about how not to hug when everyone goes hug mad in the post covid world. Naz has a thought!

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October 11, 2020 24 min

Your favourite family gives Ruffle the hottest tips on finding an apartment. Naz does some pretty excellent tricks.

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October 4, 2020 17 min

Angie Kent shares some Daily Mail level hot goss on the Bachelorette, and she tells us all about how to survive the heavy sweats. Naz sincerely believes there was a sub-plot of 8 Mile that they edited out that related to flower pressing. You're welcome.

Links:

https://my.polishedman.com/nazeem-hussain

https://waterwalk.unicef.org.au/t/nazeem-hussains-team

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September 27, 2020 20 min

Veronica gives us a preview of some of the frankly pretty confronting but hilarious content that will make up her new podcast, Zero Waste Baby. Naz reveals that his friends beat him up, and there's no one who will do anything about it, because at times like these you fall back on your friends, but he can't because his friends beat him up.

Zero Waste Baby is out on Wednesday 30th September. Subscribe now (if you want to - it&...

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Waleed Aly, Gold Logie winner and actual guy from the TV, drops in to tell all in this exclusive interview, almost entirely told as if it were a women's magazine article.* Naz reveals his interest in some existing COVID-19 conspiracy theories, and invents a couple of his own.


*If there's a thing to call women's magazines that is more woke and appropriate, please get in touch via backlash@survivors.guide (think that&#...

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September 13, 2020 24 min

Ryan gives us the low down and the who's who and the qu'est que c'est on all things pasta. Naz becomes aware of the existence of his own feet - you know, kind of like a five week old baby.

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Shane Jacobson swings by to tell us about his experience with trolls and big bearded regional folk. Naz hatches a plan for how he can tackle his next hater.

--

If you've been harassed online (or anywhere), or you know someone who has, engage with R U OK day, on Thursday the week this episode drops.

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Melissa tells Naz where to keep his mustard, which is spicier than you think (as a topic, not to mention as a yellowish brown condiment).

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August 23, 2020 20 min

Susie tells us how and why to feed people (mostly it's so they stop talking). Naz invites us into his strange world of ghosts and mythical creatures (ie his brain).

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August 16, 2020 19 min

Ash London gives us her guide to surviving being an Instagram dog owner (made challenging by how uninterested the dog is).

Naz tries to convince everyone that Charlie slept in the bed with his two sets of grandparents the whole time, even though everyone knows that would be way too weird and even the Bucket family wouldn’t go fivesies.

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