303. Adorable with Milo McCabe and Mark Nelson.

Episode Transcript
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(00:10):
Zippers, welcome to this episodeof the Tea With Me podcast.
With me, she and Todd. What an episode we have today,
folks. Before we get into this episode,
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So that's madness, that prize. Guy.co.uk, thank you very much
for joining us as a sponsor. Before we get into this episode,
I need to tell you that we're doing the SSE Arena on the 23rd
of May. It's a Friday night.

(02:19):
It's going to be a great time. You can see some of the recent
podcasts we've done on Patreon. We just did two shows at the end
of last year at the Waterfront Hall.
They're up there. There's a load of old free ones
on YouTube like the SSE Arena, other ones at the Waterfront,
the Limelight. Some of the ones are only behind
the paywall because because they're cheeky Pedro on the com

(02:41):
slash TV podcast. If you want all the bonus
content was a fussy and we do lazy boys some Fridays as well
with me, Mickey Bartlett and Willie T.
But the SSA arena show we've extended the whole to make it
even bigger because we sold a hell of a lot of tickets and
they're flying it so you can gettickets on Ticketmaster or in
the description of this episode.My guest today, or none other

(03:04):
than Mark Nelson and Milo McCabe.
Mark's been on before, Phenomenal Scottish comedian, a
comedian the comedians actually love.
Like everyone. When you say you have Mark on or
whatever, Mark's great. What a guy.
I talk about the little beef we got into at the Edinburgh Fringe
Festival and Mark has got a special like on BBC, on BBC

(03:27):
iPlayer, which you can watch forfree.
You watch it, didn't you? He watched it.
Absolutely brilliant. Go check it out.
And Milo McCabe is sometimes known as Troy Hawk, the Internet
sensation that that is the head of the Greeters Guild.
You've definitely seen these videos where he's in the purple
kimono, like silk smoking jacket, just greeting people all

(03:52):
literally all around the world, standing outside shops and and
just complimenting people. What a massive thing that has
become. Milo does that live.
So Troy Hawk does massive live tours and that's why we've got
the guys on the pugs. They're in Belfast doing a show
with the limelight. Me and Milo are meeting for the
first time, kinda say hello to each other.
The Fringe Festival before this first time had a proper chat

(04:14):
with them to actually top guys to brilliant comics.
Please enjoy this episode of theTV with Me podcast with my
guests Milo McCabe and Martin Nelson.
You're right, this is over. It's been a journey to get here.
You know, a couple of council taxi journeys you've got here
and then you've got a mod taxi driver, which is which is great.
We, I don't think we, I think there's like we have 1 taxi

(04:35):
driver at the minute in Belfast and we've got it sounds like
also like some of the texture over here.
The guy will focus on talking about this thing, which is
pretty mental or another relative, but this thing.
But it feels like the guy you got covered all covered, all
bases. Well, they were.
They seemed very insistent that they wouldn't pick us up unless
the other one had been cancelled.
Yeah, I don't know whether that.Which is a good etiquette as a

(04:57):
different firm as well, yeah. So that's the first guy came
through. Anyway, where are you going?
And I said hey. And he goes back on.
I've got to pick the wife up. And every actor in a Belfast
film not from Belfast. That is the accent.
Did you think you were going to get praised?
No. I.

(05:17):
I thought I'll go for it now I'll see how it comes out to be.
Fair. It's better than like so many
like at the minute there's a series I haven't seen it with
the SAS and the guy who like. Oh, he's awful.
Well, I I've seen him and stuff.Great actor cannot do the better
like spend that just puts that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
have another go later on. I'll I'll build up, Yeah.

(05:39):
Take more of a run up to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't think it was offensive.I just.
Alright, cool. I think it was.
I think it was nice. Yeah.
You know, but. I was offended.
Yeah, it was. It wasn't good enough to be
offensive. It wasn't like.
No, no. I it was just nothing, yeah.
It was just, but I also don't think it's an accent.
You need the, you don't need the.

(05:59):
I love it, I don't think. It's gonna give you anything.
I do, I I love it. I love the accent.
You'll do it on stage, I will doit on.
Stage tonight and invariably being in character in front of
people. I imagine it will give me a bit
more Yeah, snow. And I'll pull up something
slightly better than that. Pathetic.
Embarrassing. No, no, no, no, no.
Listen. Attempts out of the back.
Do you? Speaking of embarrassing, do you
know me and Mark had like we nearly had an Internet beef?

(06:22):
Jesus. Oh.
Seriously. Well, no, no, well again.
An actual beef. So during the fringe I I've had
we met at this point, no yet. But yeah, we had got me on this,
Yeah. OK.
So it was after you'd been on the board.
So Mark have been on the pub, which was the first time we met

(06:42):
with chatter before but never, never met.
We just like, yeah, we sexed it before, yeah.
Yeah. Catfished each other for a
couple of years and then we met and then at the Fringe.
Then I put up a picture with like four other Irish comics and
we all kind of ran into each other.
And then it was like, oh, we gota photo, some caption about like
a boy band kind of thing. And Mark, Mark wrote a new

(07:04):
Martin knows everyone in the picture and wrote fucking state
of this. I responded under that and wrote
Mark please delete this obviously as a joke DM 2 minutes
later from the big man he's likemate I am.
From the bottom of my heart I'm so sorry.
I'll delete the comment like themost genuine response.
Oh, he's such a softy. I felt, I felt so everyone felt

(07:27):
terrible. I was like, I feel bad.
Now he feels bad. I was in the middle of the the
house move so I've I've haven't slept a bit too.
You're trying. To tell me you're not sensitive.
No, I'm. Sensitive, but I didn't want to
insult. I don't like insulting people
that I I like and respect. Like I'll say anything to you,
but like, I'm not, but I was just like, ohh, because every
other comic was so nice. Yeah, yes.

(07:49):
Boys are looking well. Oh my, the shows are.
Great. What a laugh.
This must be. What a what a team.
And I just went fucking state ofthis.
Oh yeah. I I you do you like you can miss
play it sometimes that we were we've got our tour manager.
She's walking along and we'll belike taking the piss out of each
other. Me and with comics you can sort
of like if him or Colin are telling a story, but that never

(08:10):
happened. You know, that's all bullshit,
yeah. And now Anna's telling this
perfectly innocent story. I'm like, all of that is lies.
And she's like, no, you can put them fair and everything
properly, get offended. But sometimes you do, you know,
you take a punt sometimes, yeah,you know, make it awkward.
But sometimes if you take a puntand really take the piss and it

(08:30):
lands, you sort of get a Fast forward on being matey, yeah.
That's true. It's.
Worth it? Yeah, zippers, let me very
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Let's get back to this episode of the Tea With Me podcast with
my little McCabe and Mark Nelson.
How do you guys travel? Like, do you like doing the same
things when you tour? Because like, it's very
important to me who I'm touring with.
Like we've got to do some thingstogether and then there's got to
be like some of our own time. I like activities.
He's captain Fun for me. So if, if ever, there's Mark,

(11:27):
believe it or not. I mean, not a rude way, but
like, I don't have you down. It's Captain Fun.
No, you're making it sound like a organised fucking paintball
and then shit it's. Like, it's like Grumpy Van
Wilder. He's like.
He's. Captain party, Is it nice he's
always up for? Yeah.
Just, you know, like thinking. Yeah.
Well, first, he's brilliant, obviously.

(11:49):
We have lunch. We have lunch every time we do
it. Yeah, we, we talk about that
shit in the day and then we go out and get hammered at night.
Yeah. You know I like as the both I do
with William Thompson. I don't know if you know
William. Right.
I met him last. We met.
Yeah, he came out last time. We're here to came out.
Like we'll do like a joint activity and then our own
activity. Like he's big into like meeting
animals, you know, like so say we're in Dubai.
He's like, I like to meet, you know, because you can do like a

(12:12):
Penguin experience. Yeah.
Yeah. So he but he, but he always uses
the term meet, which is all likewe were Australia.
He's like, I'm off to meet a kangaroo.
Yeah, like very odd about that. But I like my own time and then
some joint time as well. But how do you do you do?
Does he get to them read when you want to be by yourself?
Does he pick up on signals or doyou have to have a little code
and you go, I'm just I'm having a bit.

(12:33):
Shouting his own time. Yeah, he's it.
Like, because Williams a lot younger than me, I just like,
I'll send them off with a bit ofmoney, you know, go and enjoy,
you know, half an hour or I'll sit down for some date and, you
know, if there's an arcade or something, yeah, you know, I can
give him a couple of pounds and he'll, you know, that's an hour.
He's happy enough. Stick him in the car and keep
the window. Give him a can of coconut, bag

(12:53):
of crisps and again. Yeah, and I, I still feel a
little bit weird about that. Like if I'm 1/2 an hour to
myself in the dressing room whatever and a mate comes in and
they they chat I'll I'll always feel weird about sort of going
off to what I'd like. But you can just redirect them
to Captain Fun. That's it.
But. I'm out saving.
Pen Pinball. Massive cowboy hat.

(13:16):
Jump on board. Yeah.
Have you done your plan at the time we recorded this?
You're doing Belfast tonight. Have you gigged in Belfast much
before? I know.
Yeah, yeah, we were. What did we do last time?
The limelight. We did the limelight last time.
Yeah, it. Was great fun.
It's a real good energy, like proper, it's like Glasgow,
Liverpool, Belfast, sort of it'sthat there's a there's a much
better energy. There's there's like, I don't

(13:39):
know how to describe it, like I'm from Surrey, right.
So when I go to places with a really strong cultural identity
and that sort of energy of like you're here to see us kind of
thing. I really like it.
I really like it wherever it is.They're just like.
More up for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely
100%. Yeah, you do.

(13:59):
Tend to get sorry, you do tend to get people going out
afterwards as well. Yeah.
And so it's. When I was in, when I was in
Dublin last time, me and Richie Brie, I've never been accosted
by so many people from the gig who would just sound.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to keep you too
long. All of that.
Really, really lovely. And funnily enough, this always

(14:19):
happens. They recognise Richie but they
didn't recognise me, so this happened a lot.
After you're after you've been on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were in Amsterdam and
some Rob Thomas, like some woman, absolutely hammered
woman, came up to Rob Thomas andsaid are you doing the show?
And she's literally looking at me like that, not recognising
me, which I get away with it, you know what I mean?

(14:41):
It's. Which is nice in a way, but then
a little bit of recognition for the fact that they've seen
you're, they've just seen you for an hour.
I you know. No man, I'm quite because you.
Don't want to pick up on the wrong thing.
They're like the sport act you, but that mean guy, like imagine
that upgrade and then you have to go in with it.
You know, you're just doubling down on it.
Was there was a situation last night right where we came out so

(15:02):
Richie had been on and then I went on and Richie went out in
the break and he was standing outside and this woman who
travelled, I found out today from Cornwall.
I really to see the show. How did you find out?
Because I went on our fucking Instagram.
You started and yeah, listen, you've no idea what I'm about to
do to her. And she, she, Richie's talked

(15:22):
her outside and she was like, oh, you were great.
You were amazing. And I'm really hoping Troy will
be around later on. Maybe we'll go out for a drink
because it's my birthday at midnight.
And Richie's like, what do you think's going to heart?
Like fucking calm down, Cinderella.
It's not like. So then she runs.
She sprinted along the road as we were leaving the venue.

(15:43):
Notice Richie then saw it was him.
So she went like she got them both in for a photo and Milo
said how do you want to get Markin it?
And she just went no. And his fight started to come
over a. Little little.
Heartbreak in his eyes, so a moment before they hardened up
again. So because sometimes you can get

(16:04):
them where like a support act really kills.
Like I've sent you before, record this.
I've been gigging with Jordan Robinson, a local actor and like
this Ireland legator and he's killing so much that he does a
joke when he's going to bring meon where he goes guy, she's not
here. I'm just going to do another R
And normally it's like OK, OK. But there's been a couple
instances where the audience arelike, no problem.
They're like 0 issue with that. If you if you want to do an R.

(16:27):
That's amazing. But he's been killing.
But I, I love travelling with other comics because sometimes
like when I've done America before and things like that, the
idea seems great. Especially like also if you have
kids, you're like, you know, couple of weeks, you know, this
will be great. And then you just, you're
playing Football Manager and yourself.
Yeah, yeah. Did you, did you find the venues
provided their own support acts and stuff like that?

(16:47):
Yeah, I think. Few of them do it, and it's.
So 5050, yeah, it's like some I'll use this year a bit, can
you come back and do it because that was great.
And then some. It, just like the actors doesn't
match up with what you're doing or I don't know.
I read the sales report. I got my first sales report so
my gigs were in two months and Iread the numbers out to the gas.
When are you on the East Coast? I do east and West.

(17:08):
I'm I'm doing it in March, 2 months April I think.
OK, I read my sales report numbers out and.
I'll pick. Up what?
What size venues are they? Far too big like like some of
these, if they were a nine seater, would be ambitious.

(17:30):
Hoping the fires reach some of those LA venues.
That's what's wrong. You're Mark.
Thank you for that. You're right.
Even though it's been on sale for months.
The fires is why Yeah, that makes sense.
That's why people the fires of California are why no one's
coming to this Philadelphia. I, I just like do it, like I

(17:51):
said, well, on the East Coast could probably, there's a big
Irish population there. West Coast not as well at all,
but it's, if you're there, you may as well go do those and then
I'm happy to like slowly build those up.
Have you been over before? I did San Francisco and I did
the LA and New York. I love San Francisco.
It's a great club called Cobs. Cobs.

(18:12):
That's roughly. Have you done it?
That's the one where for me, it's like on the West Coast,
it's always good. Yeah.
So I don't worry about. I nearly go to the West Coast
just to do cobs. Yeah, it's beautiful, but it's
brilliant. Yeah, yeah.
It's the best green room of any company.
With all the Polaroids. Yeah, everything.
And I think I'm doing, yeah. What am I doing?
I'm doing like Chicago, Philadelphia.
I'm filming my special, I think in Washington, so I'm going to

(18:36):
film it in the States. Tell me it's not in the DC
comedy, love. No disrespect to the DC comedy.
I don't know. I'm not sure why is it?
Does that suck? Is it bad?
I just, I had a room that I played the room there, there was
a guy who's been to see me on three different continents.
He travels with works. We just come to these shows by
himself and he came to the Dubaishow.

(18:56):
And then I said, when was it? When was the last, What was the
last game you were at? He said Washington and I'm
waiting for him to go. Man was actually great.
Don't worry about it. And he was like, yeah, yeah.
It was the worst thing that happened there since the
insurrection. So you give yourself a hard time
after shows? Because I do, but sometimes I
find it's more how I'm feeling. Like if I'm not happy or if I'm

(19:21):
like, the show probably doesn't change that much.
Takes me a couple of days to know whether I liked it or not.
All the time, yeah. How does that work?
Like I'll come off and go. I don't know whether that was
good or not, despite reaction ofaudience.
Yeah, I don't know. And then I'll take a little bit
of time to think, but. And then I'll just be sitting
doing something else and go. I was great.
Yeah. Or no, that was terrible.

(19:42):
Yeah. I don't know.
I'm weird looking. No, I'm the same.
And it's hard because you're doing the same show and you
know, no matter how you feel or how you think it's gone.
It's only going to be 5% or 8% different.
Yeah, and nobody would really notice.
But for you, it's fucking night and day, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah. Come off and you're either
related or miserable. As said even.

(20:02):
When it's good. I don't know about you guys, but
I don't understand the drum. I've no adrenaline after show.
I really I feel, I feel like a mass murderer sense of calm.
That's why you need fucking Captain Funnel.
Just give the twister matters. 0800 there for you then, and
I'll be there. No I feel like even if show goes

(20:25):
great I just feel like I'm happyafter but.
Yeah. I can go to sleep straight away.
Really. What about?
Oh man, what about before? The only the only nerves I get
or when I or someone else is calling my name out to the
audience on the walk to the microphone.
And that's it. Just a little burst.
That's it. And then you're in.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, I feel excited and

(20:46):
stuff. I'm not like I don't feel
nothing, but after I finish I'm just like, I'm very relaxed.
I said have a cup of tea and go home.
Yeah, Jesus. Speaking of specials, you your
special came in BBC and I was going to say I couldn't believe
that only from the fact that like, no, but I mean no, but I
mean like you're not like an ultra clean comic at all.
I would I would assume they would only have stand up on like

(21:08):
that. And then I saw you talking a
bit, a little bit and saying like you're surprised they
didn't censor it. I was amazed.
I was amazed at some of the stuff that was in it.
Yeah. Because I've not watched it, but
they really. Yeah, My wife watched it when it
went out because I went out the Sunday just before Christmas.
And she can because I was like, great, I'm just going up the
stairs. I don't want to listen.
I don't want to see if you're laughing.

(21:29):
I'm just going up the stairs andlistening to music.
Can do whatever and then she came out and she was like, I
honestly cannot believe some of that stuff.
And it was somebody taught me like somebody told me about
doing when you were doing that kind of stuff, they used to do
it and panel shows and stuff like that.
If you ever Frankie Boyle used to do it, I'm pretty sure as
well. If you're wanting a joke in

(21:50):
always do a couple that you knowwill never ever, ever get in.
And then when you when you go right, we want that and we want
that and present them with the really harsh stuff.
And then they go, no, you're right.
But you're, they feel like you've given them something,
you've given somebody leeway. So the stuff that you've been
actually wanting to get sneaked in as well.
So. Yeah, I do that with videos all

(22:11):
the time. I'll leave a few bits that I
know dog shit just so that whoever I'm getting to sign off
the thing can have a bit of editorial control.
That's something I was going to ask you as well, was do you?
So I remember such a Baron Cohentalking about like when he
interviewed people for Ali G andstuff.
We've been talking for quite a long time and then slip in some

(22:31):
of the more. Yeah, yeah.
Do you do that as I mean your interactions are pretty quick as
you're passing somebody? I'm just banging.
Down. So it's what?
It's what? It's what you see.
Yeah, that's all. Yeah, basically.
And have you had opera? Have you had instances where
somethings great, like you have a great interaction and then the
persons like what's camera here like I don't want to use it.
Have you had stuff you've not been able to use?

(22:52):
Absolutely. You're like that, but that's
gold. Yeah, yeah, 100%.
And I've sort of honoured it as well.
Yeah, I did a video for THEY Surfers Against Sewage.
So basically it was like a protest video about all the
water bosses because, you know, water's privatised and it's run
for profit and that they've got a huge hole.

(23:13):
Because I paid all these shareholders and they got me to
stand outside this conference where it was happening.
And this guy came in, recognisedme, didn't know what was going
on and basically like verbally, like threw everybody under the
bus, gave gave these people thatwere recording everything they
wanted in one sound bite. And then he saw the mic and he
suddenly and he goes E recordingand I'm like, yeah, and, and,

(23:36):
and he blanched and he's like, I'm going to lose my job, I'm
going to lose my business. And and at that point you go,
I'm like, no, don't worry, all right, fine.
Like it was it was a proper gotcha thing, but.
But more for like, guy from like, just assuming the
opposite, which is that you're in all your gear just hanging
about. Yeah.
Like. Are you recording or just

(23:56):
walking around? Yeah, yeah.
But no people on the street like.
I'm just going to get milk Brook.
Yeah, yeah, generally don't know, like if it's just one of
my own videos, like I'll never really make anyone look bad,
like if people make themselves look bad, but.

(24:18):
Yes. And the joke always is like you,
you know, you're wearing this gear like your character is
sillier than this person is going to be.
Yeah. You know, and and it doesn't
rely on them really saying anything either.
So you're not you're not mockingthem in any way.
Yeah. And what about like, physical
stuff? Oh, have I ever been?
Yeah, Yeah. Not only Derek Chisora.
Like that. That that was it.

(24:39):
And that was he. He asked you.
Did he ask you to repeat what you said?
No. So basically what happened was
he came past and I said, Sir, you look adorable.
And then it was microseconds, right?
He goes call me adorable again, I'm going to fuck you up.
I did. I started my sentence before I

(25:02):
processed. What?
He said right. So I was because I I say you
look adorable. You're the most adorable
tablecloth. That's what I had speed up in my
head, right, So you look adorable.
Call me adorable again. I'm going to fuck you up, but
you're the most adorable. And at that point, I've then
processed what he said. So I've stopped, Right?

(25:23):
Yeah, but it also sounds like a complete sentence.
Yeah, but you're the most adorable.
Yeah. So it sounds like I'm being
incredibly brave, which I'm not.We would just.
So he was so quick and I was so quick, and then the pair of us
would just stood there. Yeah.
And then Steve Bunts. Right.
Yeah, I know, Steve. Save my saw what was going on

(25:44):
and I'd had a chat with him earlier and we got on and he
just got he went Derek like grabbed him and as he's turning
away I went fuck it. You're the most adorable type.
You're the most dangerous tablecloth because I'm like, at
this point, Steve Bolts is walking.
Away. Yeah, yeah.
Like, and I kind of calculated, I don't think he would like
punch me. I think he'd like he might just

(26:06):
slap me. Headlock or something?
Push me through the fucking thing, fine.
Do you think he knew adorable men?
I'm pretty sure. Like, like it might not, yeah.
He's, I'm, yeah, he's, he's I I actually quite, I feel like
he's, he's got no sort of philtre.
Yeah. There's no edit between sort of
and I, I don't know. I tend to quite like people like

(26:27):
that. Yeah.
Come out with the first fucking thing.
Yeah. They, they, they, you know.
I remember like when you repeat it and I love that that.
Sort of total. Accident.
That's great. The guy with it, they get that
that security guard and can was good as well.
Though, Oh my God, that, that, that, that guy.
So I don't know if you saw the Cartier video.
So, so basically it was the boujiest shop on the boujiest St

(26:53):
in Cannes. And they had these guys outside
the little FBI guys. And it was just that it was, it
was kind of like they were like a human.
Fuck you. They were like a human.
You can't afford to be in this shop, right?
So sunglasses like stood there and I just thought, Oh, no, fuck
that, right. I'm, I'm going to go into this

(27:15):
thing and the guy got really sort of frustrated with me.
He was French and he didn't knowwhat I was doing, but I was
getting actually getting people in the shop right?
And we were sort of going back and forth.
And I'm sorry, I've been sent byYan Mulby.
Like you have to take it out with him.
Ah, Leanne Mulby. Yeah, yeah, He was like, and
he's on his thing guy. And there's a guy, there's a guy
in here welcoming people in and he goes, he goes, you're gonna

(27:36):
have to move. And I said I can't do that, I'm
afraid. And, and he goes, I'm going to
speak to my man. And anyway, manager comes out
right? And I'm talking to the manager
and she's just like, yeah, fine,you know, yeah, stay there,
whatever. And this dude has got so angry
because all of his authorities been taken away from him.

(27:58):
And then it was this thing whereI felt him get like itchier and
itchier and itchier. And I didn't want to like
provoke him. I don't want to be a Dick, but
at a certain point he was complaining about me as I was
welcoming a a customer into Cartier.
I just tapped him on the shoulder and went, the
customer's coming. It's like no two shit.
He's like raging. And it got to the point I

(28:21):
thought this this dude might actually attack me.
So yeah, well, anyway, we ended it.
I put it up online and I got this message off off of him and
he went, he went, you need to remove the video.
I'm like, what do you mean? My my boss is on at me.
I'm going to get fired. I said.
I said, well, if I remove the video, I'm going to get fired.
My boss is going to be furious. And he's like, yeah, but I said

(28:41):
you didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, Keep going back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth. And then he's like, it's like,
I'm you know, I'm going to get fired.
It's going to be your fault. I said if you get fired, I said
me and Yan, we are going to makesuch a big thing of this.
I said we're going to put Cartier to the sword.
You were great. Like, you know, as you were.
And then he's like, if you don't, he goes, you've got to
remove it. And I'm like, why?

(29:02):
And he goes because of my reputation.
I'm like, what you talking about?
He goes about hundreds of peoplemessage me, even English people,
even English. People.
And then I just said to him, I was like, look, dude, like in
character, this is all in character.
I'm talking in character. And I'm going through a French
translator and we going back forhours.

(29:25):
Like I've got like 300 messages with this guy.
Even just to talk online in character, Do you put the?
In French, online in French, yeah, yeah, yeah, draw on the
draw on the Tash. Like fucking sorry, the wife and
kids. So I'm arguing with an egg for
half an hour. And yeah.
And it went back. We went back and forth.
He's got I'm going to call the police, Call the police.

(29:46):
I said I'm going to call the police if you don't remove it.
And I was like, I'm sorry, it's 9:00 AM on a Sunday.
Yeah, it's not a morning person.I'm not bringing this up with
him. I would rather face the French
John Dams than have to deal withmy boss with his with his
morning head on. And then I just said to him,
look, look, there's even during these messages, you've you've
you've, you know, talked down tome.
You told me what to do same. I say, if you had at any point

(30:09):
treating me like a human, this might have gone a bit better.
And I would suggest that in future, maybe just lighten up a
bit, you know, and yeah, I'll tell you what.
How about this next time I can't, I come to Cannes, I'll,
I'll hire you to be my bodyguard.
And he's like negative, like furious.
And I'm like, no, come on, we'll, I'll pay you.
We'll make a bit of money. And, and, and anyway, you'll

(30:30):
look cool because you'll look like you're in on the joke.
And then he was like, oh, and itwas an ego thing.
And he was like, alright, we'll look like we set it up.
And, and in the end I was like, you never know, we might end up
being friends. And he's like, yeah, lol,
whatever. But I'm still going to police
tomorrow. And I'm like, fine, but if I go,
if I go back to can, I am going to hire this guy.
I'm going to try and pay this guy to be my bodyguard.

(30:53):
But then what I'm going to do isI'm going to get someone else to
be a bodyguard from my bodyguard.
I might have a chain of bodyguards.
But yeah, like I feel bad on that guy if he was getting, but
he he. Wasn't he wasn't going to lose
his job. No, he didn't do anything.

(31:13):
Wrong, but the fact is. Just a bit Moody and a bit
muggy. The fact that you get
affectional boss involved. I showed my wife one of the
videos today where you're in a supermarket and a guy obviously
comes up to, he's like, you're not allowed to be here.
You say my boss? Yeah, Moby has agreed this.
The guy clear bullshitter, gets on his walkie-talkie, tells his
boss, and then he's like, yeah, that's like, that's a great

(31:33):
yeah. As in like, yeah, no one, like,
they're all bluffing. No, like, yeah, yeah, of course.
Yeah, yeah, I'm bluffing him. There's probably nobody on the
end of the walkie-talkie anyway.Have you done Man on the Street
stuff in Glasgow much? No, no, I know.
I did. I.
Mean I feel like it would go a different.
Way I did do a shoot in Glasgow where I was giving away free
holidays to people, right, but involved.

(31:56):
I had all these holidays to giveaway.
I was at a stall and I couldn't get a conversation going with
then. I was all I had to do was start
a conversation with someone about to give them a free
holiday. And everyone was just like, no,
no, you know, you know, do you know what I mean?
They saw the accent. They saw and they're like, this
fuck is going to try and sell mea timesharer?
I'm not falling for his shit. You know what I mean?

(32:17):
Yeah. Timeshare in 1950 Mark you ever
done man on the street stuff in Glasgow like you've ever box
people? And not really actually because
it's, well, I don't know, I think Glaswegians are, they are
approachable, but you wouldn't need to.
I think you'd need to meet them with the same level of what
they're at because your your character, like it isn't an it

(32:39):
isn't an attractive proposition for Glaswegian people do not
that no, no, the minute they hear the accent and the minute
they see, I mean, they won't have what the fuck could wear a
dress and go for like they'd be like.
So yeah, but I'm, I'm surprised that, I mean I'm surprised that
you didn't get any. You didn't say give away any.
Holidays a guy gave him away in the end.

(33:00):
Where were they going, Bob? Malaga terror.
Just wait. That's.
What you need to open with? Yeah.
The minute you see that, you could have been dressed like
Hitler and they would have approached you like.
I got so much shit from a guy inthe street.
Not that like when I was a child.
We're a family wedding in Glasgow.
Was there a place called the Thistle Hotel?
Yeah, right. So I walked down Tucky Hall St

(33:21):
to go to HMV and there was a, there was like a guy with no
legs busking and I come out of HMV and I think this guy like I
had like a Tanner to buy an album.
I think he was annoyed that I wasn't supporting local artists
like him. So I came out with an album like
a wee HMV bag and he's like, what's in that?
And I, I was terrified. I was like, I'd maybe 11 or 12

(33:44):
at this point. I was like Craig David, born to
do. It.
Or knows the second album from What's Your Fleet with What's
Your Flavour as the lead song. So Craig's in a white vest on
the front. And I was like Craig David and
the guy guy just called me a gaywee man.
I was like, just walked on, gay wee man.

(34:05):
I've been insulted by the homeless person.
Yeah, yeah. I was going to a central station
one day and there's someone sitting just outside it.
And they said it was a woman as well.
And she said if you get any spare change, And I went, sorry,
I don't have any. And she just goes, I bet you do,
you fat bastard. What?

(34:27):
But was she? Right, I thought fucking loads,
but I was going to get eggs. Has it got easier to stay in
character as time goes on? Like when you first started
doing this? Would you have corpse more or I?
Got I got this weird thing whereI can kind of like like get into

(34:48):
it and sort of be pretty firm into it.
I'm pretty good at not corpse inweirdly like I've got, I don't
know, something in my brain thatsort of keeps me focused on it,
but. What was the first video?
I mean, I I remember from Fringeyears ago.
I remember the character. Yeah.
But obviously years later I saw the video.

(35:10):
So what? What made you go?
Or this might actually work as like a video piece instead of
just a live live back. So weirdly, it goes back to like
2014. So when I first made the
character, his back story was that he worked at Wilkos, Yeah.
So which is an? We don't have it here, but it's
like Auk. That Woolworths or.

(35:32):
A bit of everything came. Yeah, yeah, just all, all, you
know, cheap stuff. So I got a Wilkos fleece.
I made my own fleece and I went in and I had a cameraman and I
just said to him, like, will probably be gripped after 5
minutes. Let's just get a couple of
minutes of me sort of making outlike I'm working here, whatever.

(35:54):
And then staff members walking past me and I was dressed as
Troy. So I had the cravat, Tash, hair,
everything, and the Wilco fleece.
But staff were just walking straight past me, barely even
looking at me, like, oh, he's a new guy, he's a bit hard
looking. And then I was literally working
in the shop for an hour, right? Folding up towels, like helping

(36:14):
customers, like guiding people. And I knew the shop had been in
there a lot. So I knew what I was doing.
Like I was guiding people to theright places.
But we're in there an hour. And then we filmed direct to
camera. I got the cameraman to sort of
come out and hide it direct camera on the garden furniture
in the middle. I was like, well, I just wanted
to get kicked out. I just, the furniture I want was
for them. So we went for coffee and he

(36:35):
goes, my cousin who was filming,he goes, why don't you greet
people at the door? Because then they can't really
ignore you. So I was like, all right, cool.
So then I was greeting people bythe door and the manager came
out and she goes, oh, I didn't get a welcome to welcome.
So I don't know. I've been sent here.
Like, you know, I'm from the Kingston store and I'm all
right. Yeah.
Cool. And I'm like, how do you get

(36:58):
done for impersonator welcome. So we were about to give up and
then suddenly the GM comes out with his Big Sean Dyke purple
hair and it was out great. We got the footage anyway, so
it's 2014 and people like the video, but I used it to like
push Edinburgh show and then I started making videos in
lockdown, like to camera stuff and I ran out of ideas.

(37:22):
So I cut up some old stuff and Iwas cutting this one up and I
thought the best stuff is when I'm at the door.
So I just put it out and then B3RN underscore, quadruple one
just goes why don't you do this at other places as a comment, A
comment? Yeah, you know, it got like
1,000,000 views now you had about 3000 followers or so.
And she goes why don't you do this at other places?

(37:42):
And I was like like, yeah, why don't I?
So I had some gigs in Macclesfield the next weekend.
I just found out this cameraman and went just, I know it sounds
weird, just fucking sit there, hide, film me outside the shop
and then that that that was how that sort of started.
And so it was it all kind of like rolled on from there from
video. To video that's so interesting

(38:03):
like the the using the old stuffagain because exactly the same
like during COVID I was like, I've probably years worth of
stuff that back in the day nobody really saw and it was
just a case of like putting subtitles on and re uploading it
and not everyone hits but it like suddenly brings in like new
people. And you made loads of content
during lockdown as well. Yeah, it was all it was like a

(38:24):
weird opportunity to it. Was a good to have loads.
Of people looking at your stuff.Yeah, because you were making
stuff that you would never have thought of making.
Yeah, before, which was good. Where do you hide the camera
man? Well, well, I mean, my current
dudes like he's like 65, so can't really hide him.
But you know, if you get someone, you get someone with a
viewfinder that they can look down on.

(38:45):
They can sort of but, but to be honest, like now if they're just
following me down the street, I don't even bother.
But. How difficult does it become,
though, with so many people knowing the character like, that
must present the tone challengeswith people who who.
Because ideally you maybe want people who not that they don't
want to be on camera. Yeah, but you don't want someone
who's like, oh, this will be, you know.
Yeah, I can. I can.

(39:06):
Somebody's too in on it. Yes, yeah.
Because, because it none of it'slike fakes or anything, even
even on like branded stuff, they're like, oh, can we do
this? And I'm like, absolutely not,
yeah. Because I think people can tell
if something's organic, yeah. Definitely.
You just sense that. You sense when it is and you
sense when it isn't. Yeah, but, but no, generally I I

(39:27):
don't know. I thought it would like what I
really miss is the outright confusion of the early days,
which I get less. Yeah, I still do get a bit.
But often times, though, I go toplaces where a lot of old people
who maybe don't have access to act, but they they aren't going
what the fuck? They're going.
Oh, you look nice. Yeah, dressed.
Nicely, do you know what I mean?So.

(39:49):
I find it difficult to I would have done having years like
around the time of freshers. I had a character from a long
time ago, not not totally the same like an affluent guy from
this time your taxi driver was telling you it's like kind of
like well to do large parts of it.

(40:09):
So I had a character from maybe what are we talking 15 years
ago, that long ago and I would have done them.
Videos with freshers, yeah, where I would interview
freshers. This guy didn't like people from
the countryside seen that. It's like every year.
I would have done it maybe once a year and then some other
things around it. So it's just like a, it was like

(40:30):
a rugby playing middle class. That was that was really good.
Oh, thanks for. Myself, I'm sure I've seen that
it's really bringing it. Yeah, I would.
I'd still upload the old the oldthing from it.
So probably you might have seen.Yeah, but I, I, I'm really
awkward. Michael filmed a lot of stuff
would tell you I can't just go out and start box swapping
people. I almost need to like psych

(40:51):
myself up for the first are I wouldn't go up to anybody.
I'd like. You'd be like they look great,
like you could talk to them. I check in.
People assume because you do stand up.
Yeah, yeah, no problem. So were you from when you start
started doing this? Did you find that easy to go and
just approach people? No, before the B and Q1 I, I had
a full fucking panic attack and I had to drag myself into the

(41:15):
shower and like text the cameraman.
Every part of my body was like, why?
Why you putting yourself throughthe big adrenaline sort of dump?
And every part of my body was saying don't, don't, don't,
don't. And I wish, no, fuck it, I've
got to do it. So text the cameraman and said,
yeah, come meet me, go out in the shower.
And then if it's weird, because that was the one that sort of

(41:36):
properly like spiked things up. So if I'd have given into that
sort of fear or whatever at thatpoint, I probably wouldn't have
got some of the other stuff. But but I love that though.
Like I think I used to when I started being a comic, I would
do 1 gig a month, which was I was AMC for my own night and I

(41:57):
would start getting nervous three weeks before, right?
And then the second I did this MC thing, I'd feel great for
maybe four days, and then I would start again, right?
I'd start feeling that sickness,but I couldn't stop doing it.
So I I used to get it so bad. Yeah.
But I couldn't stop. It's almost like, yeah, yeah.

(42:17):
Do you know what I mean? Like, it was crippling, but I
had to keep doing it. Yeah.
And I think I'm more drawn now to things that you, you you kind
of get used to the adrenaline. So you sort of up here a little.
Yeah. Yeah.
Do you know what I mean? To try and push yourself or test
yourself or put yourself in, Butit's like.
You know, in Edinburgh during the Fringe or so Many St Street
gig, St performers and that kindof thing.
I look at those people, I'm like, I have no idea how you're

(42:39):
doing this. No, I don't know how you're not
in a room where it's only peoplewho are coming to the show.
Yeah. The fact that they can just get
up and just do this and. Yeah.
How do you set that up where there's only like 3 people
standing watching? Yeah.
Hoping that that crowd will start together.
Three people watching you. Well, your dress is a fireman up
a up a ladder, balance in it juggling chainsaws.

(43:02):
Yeah, no, I have thought the same.
I thought fucking kudos to those.
Yeah. It's amazing.
Yeah, where's been like, where'sbeen the worst place you've gone
to shoot like a particular town or city.
Like if you've gone to a place and went either none of this is
usable or this was just the wrong place to go shoot this.
Yeah, like weirdly so I did one in Salford.

(43:25):
Afghanistan. Well, to be honest, like the
very first one I tried to do wasin Macclesfield and I was
outside of Savers and I think I've got 15 minutes of footage
of me just standing there and fuck all happening.

(43:46):
Like just people are walking past and I'm going like to come
to save us. Don't.
Like. It was the first one out of the
blocks didn't sort of quite work.
But I don't know. It's not really a place.
It's it's more like, I don't know, I've got got to be in the
mood and I've got to feel like I've, yeah, got the right vibe
going. Yeah, you know, But what I've

(44:06):
I've found this it it's amazing how sort of strangers will
respond to a nice vibe, a nice comment or something that's a
bit cheeky or funny, but delivered with a smile.
It's like pretty much everyone, the worst they get is sort of
blankness. Most people will smile or
they'll be happy. And like, I didn't set out when

(44:27):
I was doing the character to have some social experiment
where I was going to try and do anything.
Like it's, it's sort of like a natural thing that people have
picked up on the interaction. But I haven't noticed that.
Oh shit, like pretty much anyone's up for a laugh or up
for a smile or whatever. The is the the more celebrity
red carpet type stuff how you imagined it would be?

(44:48):
Or is it like as you look at that and you go, that'd be
great, But are those people in general like those sort of
celebrities? Are they as up for a laugh for
the normal people or could you like.
They're more showbiz, I guess. But then they take maybe take
themselves more seriously. I don't know.
Yeah. These are people you look at and
you go, I know this guy from this thing.

(45:09):
He'll be a great laugh. Yeah.
Or she. And then they're just.
It's always been surprising the ones I've seen, the celebrity
red carpet ones. Who's been RC with you.
Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't really expect.
Who? And it's as good I guess.
Yeah. Like for the video, if someone's
like, yeah, a great laugh with you or someone's a bit of a
prick, it's yeah, that's as goodthe content as good, Chris.
Christian Hola was probably his scalp that mean Who's she?

(45:32):
Christian Horners, Jen F1. Guy F1 Guy married to Jelly
Jerry Hollowell. Yeah, yeah.
Jelly Hollow. I told him we look like Daniel
Craig if you're a cricket umpire.
He's just like really didn't like it.
But the dude that booked me for that job but said he's the one
guy that you're going to have, he's not going.

(45:55):
To you ready? Got the heads up.
Yeah, he sort of, he said everyone else who's going to
come through and that was cool. It's a guy from, I don't know
anything about like F1 or anything.
Yeah, yeah. So guy from Drive to Survive
will something and he booked me for it and he basically had a
heads up. So he's like, right, well, this
drive is coming through in 90 seconds, so I had 90 seconds to
just try and come up with something when it came free.

(46:19):
What You're talking about shooting a special Washington?
Do you sure you're in Glasgow itself?
The one on the BBC that was in Dumfries, my hometown.
See the way you say you haven't watched it?
Did you watch the footage from? No, you involved me at it at
all. Not once.
So all you did you. Showed up on the night, did the
show, and that's your last involvement.

(46:40):
That's all I'll ever do with it.Fucking Jake Paul.
I just can't. I can't what because I think
with the edit and stuff I was worried about because I get so
self-conscious and so self critical anyway that I was like,
I'll just put myself out of everpromoting it and I'll just start
thinking it's not any good. And then if, if there are bets I

(47:02):
think should have been in it andthen it turns out they aren't,
I'll then get disappointed by that.
And then when, then once it's out, I do have that kind of
thing. Like once it's out, there's not
anything I can really do about it.
So it's it's only going to be, Icould only really see the
negatives of watching it. So oh.

(47:23):
Can I just say before this we were testing for live streams.
We were testing an intro that would play and I, the voice
played it to me and I was like, that's great.
I was like, who made that? That's brilliant.
It's been the intro to the main podcast for well over a year.
I've never seen. I was like, you thought I was
joking. I was like, I've never seen the
podcast but then why would I? See, that's the point, yeah.

(47:43):
You're not gonna be able to change and I'm.
The same. I'm somewhere in between that
like I'll, I'll watch the edit and I'll make like a paper edit
notes, but then I will never watch the full thing back.
Really. Yeah, I just, I would get a
little bit weird about that. Yeah.
If I was doing like sketch or Vox pop type stuff.
I have no problem watching. I can watch out loads of times
and I'll I'll watch it and appreciate it.

(48:05):
But stand up. You're right.
I'm kind of. My wife's, my wife's mom was
down stainless at Christmas and she was the other night it was
on and she was like, so who's coming round to watch the thing?
And I was like, no one. And she was like, you're not
having like a wee party where everyone sits in the room and
watch. Like honestly, like I would, I

(48:25):
would rather wake up in a Ukrainian prison than be in that
room. Generally.
That is the worst thing I can ever think of.
Like when people go, I suppose Hollywood stars are pretty much
different, like film stars. But see when they go and watch
stuff when it's released, like can or something, and they sit
in a full cinema and then have to take a standing ovation.

(48:47):
But. Fuck the 9 minutes standing
ovation. At the end, Jesus.
But don't they just come and show their face and fuck off and
they don't watch the film? Yeah, or today I.
Don't know because they're always there at the end because
that's when it's when the lightscome back on, everyone starts
standing up and then. Well, look, if you tell me if I
leave and then you go, there's going to be a standard ovation,
I'll come back. I will come back for the

(49:07):
standard. Oh, why?
Why Washington? Why you shouldn't in Washington?
Just just because it seemed likea good idea, like so at all
these things and then this American company came through
and went like, how about we do it?
And I said, well, I want it to be a bit like this.
And I said great, let's do it here.
And so weirdly, it was that or shoot something that would look

(49:30):
very kind of bog standard, specially.
And and then this I said I wanted to do something a bit
more specific and a bit different.
Yeah, these people like right onboard with that.
Yeah. And so I said, fuck it, let's do
it with these guys in America. I like the idea of doing it over
there. I think less and less like I
personally want to see less likeI don't want to see like a big

(49:50):
large generic theatre Yeah, you know I I'd rather see like some
quirky or a little bit differentand especially somewhere
different. Yeah, as your mind on Saturday
in a place called County Wicklow, just outside Dublin.
I'd never played the room in my life.
And just like the pictures on Google.
What was the cap? How big was it?

(50:10):
Umm, maybe 120. We didn't early in Late Show and
the shows up. So I've been doing these times
in Ireland that I've never played before.
I don't know why. Only this year was like why am I
not getting there to win more places in Ireland.
I was doing like Dublin, Cork, Galway, but so much more.
And and it was that classic caseof because I've shot stuff

(50:31):
before and the the show before it was 10 out of 10.
And you're like, if only we had film that one, but you can't
film them all. But the shows before it in these
towns and cities I've never beento felt great.
And then this one was just the early show was so much fun, but
there was like a little bits I left out and then just lock the

(50:52):
Late Show was I remembered thosebits.
So I think it'll come together. And I yeah, I do hate the idea
of watching a park, but I will do it just to make sure.
But I hate the idea of watching.A park, yeah, I think I think
you're right because so many people released them now it does
get bored and just see in a big room yeah, yeah.
So quirky things like I think Alan Cochran that has in like a

(51:13):
bookstore or something like that.
Yeah. And this looks cool, like in a
smaller room is always going to be and.
You want to feel like you're there.
It's hard to get a sense of being there.
Absolutely, yeah. Huge player, but if you know, if
it's film like in the crowd, yeah, then it feels a bit more
like what the experience is. Yeah, Washington was a was a
tough one for me. Last time at the venue was.
Good luck man. Yeah, but you'll you'll not be

(51:36):
in this room on you and you'll have a far bigger.
Crowd is it? Why was it tough?
It they did this, this haven't loaded into they were like, say
I'd sold, I don't know, 40. They were like, we have a 40
seater, but you're in the 250 seater, that kind of thing.
Yeah, because we've already booked something in here.
So it's like we have the perfectamount for this room, but we
can't be in that room. And then it was a it was a

(51:59):
Monday night as well. So you kind of like, you know,
you could probably do that in like cities you play big comedy
cities you've played before. But I, you know, it just felt
like the unknown and it was a Monday and it just it just
didn't it didn't hit for me. But you'll be in a great event.
Like if they want to fill in there, obviously it's going to
be a perfect venue to be a good grudge.
It was April. I think I need to get hold of.

(52:21):
I think it's a goodbye. Is it?
April at hard theatre. Oh God.
So Trump will have been in powerfor 2 1/2 months, but then,
right? So you said you would only
record a special once He was buying part?
I was. I'm going to, I'm going to start
a little now. I'm going to start a rumour on
AQ and on website that you're the first infiltration of the
British community. America again, because you'll

(52:47):
look like someone who was coming.
To take oh coloniser. I'm just reading about the
American Civil War. I didn't know a lot about it,
but I'm reading a book about it.I don't know anything about it
but my eldest. I don't.
I'm halfway through a book aboutit.
I read books about stuff and then if you ask me anything

(53:10):
about it, but I properly read it.
I read a book about Genghis Khan.
I know, fuck, I know as much as anyone who hasn't read that
book, but I wait. I want to learn.
But the American, the Americans of War One, what's man is that's
not that long ago. No.
Some of this stuff, I guess, fairly recent history, math,

(53:30):
what? That's all I know about it,
yeah. It was the fiction was not long
ago. Yeah, I read a book.
I was reading a book about the about like the pyramids was

(53:52):
about tombs in Egypt and I was 3/4 of the way through it and I
weirdly brought the book in the sauna, but the sauna wasn't, you
know, not a steam room. It's I've done it.
Yeah, yeah. And there was a an old guy in
there and he's like, there's, you know, I read a book in a
sauna. I was like, first time I've done
it, I will not be doing it again.
And I was like 3/4 away through the book and he went, what's a
book? I had a conversation.

(54:13):
The song about I was like, oh, it's with tombs in Egypt.
And he went, all right, interesting.
I was like, I have no idea. I have no idea.
I I knew halfway through it and on what was going in.
Yeah, but like, it seemed interesting, you know?
Now you can't give up. What you just you just sort of
tracking the words? Yeah, I'm just.
Just going left to right and. Then, but I've forgot the lot.

(54:34):
Oh, left. That's where I'm fucking up.
You were reading it like the Quran, do you?
Do you not like a chat in the sauna?
I always chat in the sauna. Fucking everybody.
It depends. A little bit of small talk.
I don't have an in depth chat. I don't want, I don't want to
fill the whole time. You know, we're gonna have how
you doing mate? You know, I'll definitely say

(54:55):
hello, but then like, no more than that.
I think that is the weirdest a chat in the song, that is the
weirdest. That I've got.
I've got into gratitude, right? And I got into the habit of
Edinburgh like you. Know you did.
What do you mean? Like you're pride?
The idea of practise? You're practising graduate.
Saying it out loud, right? Basically you.
Got into gratitude. You're going.

(55:15):
Into gratitude, which is things you're thinking getting.
Emotion. You can't get into gratitude.
He's he's from Scotland. He can't.
I'm gonna get there this year. Paranoia.
What, like ghosts and? Everything like, like, you know,
do you find Edinburgh, you get Groundhog Day, so you get your
routines because you've got to show you at the same time every

(55:36):
day. So you'd be like, I wake up
here, go to the gym there. So I got used to going the sauna
and I, I did this thing where I'd say out loud everything I
was grateful for, right? And generally it was fine.
Where would you say this? In the sauna or in the sauna?
But it was normally empty because for some reason at the
Pleasants Gym that there wouldn't be anyone in the sauna.
So I'd just say I'm, I'm grateful for my wife, I'm
grateful for kids, grateful I get to do a job saying it out

(55:57):
loud every day. It's really hard not to be in a
good mood after that. But then it was just I came in
as this German fella there and Iwent, oh fuck, I'm.
Going to have to translate this.But not true, no.
I was like. Grateful for World War 2V.

(56:20):
I was like, mate, this is, I know it's gonna be weird.
Oh no, it's weirder than you tell them it's.
Gonna be weird. That's weird, I said.
Dude, I do this thing every day right sitting.
Here off again. So I sit, I sit here and I just
list things I'm grateful for andI do it out loud.
Like, is that any good? He's like, but what can he say?
Is that not? Rather, you didn't do that.

(56:41):
Like, he was like, he was like, yeah, cool.
Yeah. Well, I'm listening.
Everything right? And I get to the end and I feel
awkward. So.
But you give it a go. But that's it.
I know it's weird, but him and me sat there listing things we
were grateful for, like, total strangers.

(57:02):
And it's. I know it's embarrassing and
it's weird, but I swear we both came out of that sort of feeling
better. I can shake your head at me.
Mark, we just couldn't do that. My gosh, Mark.
Give it a couple of like. Mark, give it a go.
Give us a couple of things. You Griffle.
Mark, please. No, no idea, my literally

(57:23):
stomach is eating my own ass just now.
What was he grateful? For oh fuck Bratwurst.
It's the economic situation, theBavarian tram system.

(57:45):
I was in Berlin for the first time couple weeks ago.
I've not been you performing there?
Yep. How is it?
How are the crowds? Where's expats, right?
It was a, it was mainly expats and then some just general
Europeans, but it was, it was good.
It wasn't Jonah felt like grand French show.

(58:06):
So it was like a basement room that held maybe 80.
There was about 40 there. Me and Andrew Ryan went and it
was it was it was fun. It was great.
If the room was packed, it wouldhave been unreal, but it was it
was fun. I'll definitely go back.
But then there was there was almost like too much like
history to see there. If I have one criticism, they

(58:27):
have too much history. The loads of it.
So I am, I just wasn't. That long ago either.
The thing World War 2 not that long ago and the fall of the
Berlin War, no, the wall. There was war in Berlin, but I
just, I was going to go and do the tours, but then I just,
there was too many, you know. So I just, I put on like podcast

(58:51):
about the history of the place on the airport and then just got
a Lime scooter and just went around the correspondent.
Places, yeah, which felt great. Did you go to Alcatraz when you
were in San Francisco? Yeah.
It's best fucking trip I've everdone.
I thought it was. A great I'd love to go there.
There's a hell, It's a bit annoying, like the walk up to it
from the boat, but it was good. It was good.

(59:13):
Are you serious? Yeah.
Yeah. It's time to see what the
prisoners felt like. The when you're in it and you've
got the guided on anything, it'sit's a bit eerie.
Oh my God. And you in the prison yard where
Al Capone was, and you're sitting there looking at the
same things they did, and they're talking you through the
cells for everything. It's the best.
Do you think they escaped those guys?

(59:35):
What do you think? Sorry, they successfully
escaped. You think they died?
It looked like it would be impossible.
Like if you stand on that thing and you look at where the
nearest land masses are or whatever, you're just like, no
chance. Yeah, well, I didn't realise was
there was an actual community and there was a school.
Yeah. And all of that was going.
On the officers, families and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're like a school and there was hundreds of them.
I remember just being in there thinking like, I hate to be a

(59:57):
prisoner here. Yeah, or anywhere, but they are
seemed especially. Yeah, Yeah.
Because they said. Boat Club near there or
something, some like high society place.
And if the wind was blown a certain direction, you could
hear people partying. Yeah.
From not that far away to you just be in there like not having
a great time. Jesus.
But it was a it was great. I like to go and do like,

(01:00:17):
especially when I'm in America, go theatre and I do.
I like doing a Buster, you know,the big red Buster that seems
good actually. And then I see what I like and
then. I'll go and investigate that,
yeah. Yeah, or sometimes I just stay
on the bus. You know, you can just follow
tour guides around, like walking.
Yeah, You don't have to pay off.You can just follow the group.
Yeah, you just stand up back because you hear everything.
Yeah, yeah, I guess not illegal,yeah.

(01:00:40):
It's one of those things that feels illegal.
Yeah. Yeah, like along.
The street adrenaline feels illegal, but it's.
Not it's not wrong with it. It's like talking to a guy in a
song. Are you guys sure are you doing
doing hold her together like allthe like you can are these are
just two off Yeah, I've. Got loads of different people

(01:01:01):
that I. Bring out, you know, I've kept
them from them, no. No, sometimes.
Sometimes, yeah, I'm not too much no, if I'm if we're.
Sort of staying over. Somewhere and we're going to go
out and have a drink. Yeah, it's definitely like you
or Elliot or someone like that. Like, do you?
Do you shoot every nearly nearlyeverywhere you go into or you're

(01:01:23):
more or is it less details someplace?
It's like, have you done Belfast?
I haven't shot in Belfast. But you.
People I have shot in Belfast, yeah, I did.
I did a thing on the standard line boats a couple of weeks

(01:01:44):
back when I was OK. But yeah, most places despite if
I've not. Been somewhere?
Like I was just up in Ashington in the northeast.
I did shot there, but yeah, I'm going to like going to go shoot
in New Zealand and Australia andstuff.
It's it's tiring. Like it's fun, but it's like an
hour super. Like I have to be 100% focused

(01:02:06):
and I have to just be looking for things and sort of be ready
to make something happen at a moment's notice and sort of get
it straight away and formulate the right thing to say in my
head. So after about an hour of that,
I'm, I'm pretty exhausted. Yeah, yeah, but, but, but.
Yes. That must be good in terms of
the because you were talking. About people recognising, you
know, by good because I was the LEG thing.

(01:02:27):
That's why you had to kind of stop.
Yeah. Too many people knew who.
Yeah, yeah. So, but when you go to other
countries. Now, yeah, but.
When you do stuff like Cannes, obviously that's like, but like
New Zealand and Australia and America, yeah, there'll be much
less chance of people have seen the videos.
Yeah, some people will, but morechance you'll be shot.
Yeah, let. More anonymity.
I'll be good first though, I'll be great.

(01:02:47):
Viral. Oh my.
God, if you're like below. My God the great the video
you're getting. Shot I would wank myself dry.
You're watching it again, Mark. Shopping.
You will have a premier party, yeah.
Everybody around where are you on the tour?

(01:03:11):
Like is a new you at the start? Yeah, so we are.
Where am I? I'm going Auckland, Brisbane,
Sydney, Perth, Melbourne, Adelaide and then coming back
during the Netherlands couple ofdates.
I think we're doing like Utrechtand Amsterdam and Rotterdam and

(01:03:35):
then USA and Canada in like April, May, like probably just
following. I love Australia.
Everyone's happier, they're healthier, everyone's like, you
know, just they get up at 5, go to the gym before work and
everyone's chilled out and yeah,I love it.
Mark, you turn at the minute, nostarting.
Again in November. So I've got a yeah.

(01:03:58):
So I'll be doing November and then 2nd of November, December
and then February, March, April next year.
You're going to come over here? Yeah, I'm going to come over
here. Doing laveries.
Night. All perfect.
Perfect. That's where I shot my.
Last bit I am great as well, lowceiling.
Yeah, keeps all the energy. I've got a weird thing with
Edinburgh this year though, because.
I only this is the first time ever we're going to just do a

(01:04:19):
half run. Yeah.
And it's largely because of Oasis.
Like I realised because I've gottickets for all three shows, I
can't go. Like I can't take Afraid in a
Saturday night off at the French, so I'm going to have to
do the second-half because. Like people are like I've seen
so many performers forums and stuff where people are like
fuck, like the why have they done this stuff?

(01:04:42):
Like I know Oasis have something.
Against the film, I know. You know, but I'm hope.
I'm hopefully. Going to see them in Dublin
class I really hope. There will be some crossover of
audiences like. I really hope I loaded like like
Oasis fans from Kilmarnock are up for the full day.
Try to find something to do before they have just 8 of them.

(01:05:05):
Sitting in some. Like we spoken word some guy
talking to his recent diagnosis.They're doing care.
At the back. OK.
Thanks very much for coming on. Have a great choice tonight.
And yeah, the states will be, states will be great.

(01:05:27):
Go away. And Australia?
Where did you get that? Top.
I got sent this. Class I I don't know what the
thing all something football. All the football, maybe.
So these guys do. Do collab with all these
different like different clubs and brands and this is the

(01:05:48):
Guinness one art of football. They sent me this.
That's real class, nice. And like that a.
Lot yeah, you want what you. Want right now.
Yeah, that will never feel that's true.
Milo, Mark, thanks so much for coming on the pod.
Thank you. Appreciate it.
Thanks for having us.

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