311. Looking Irish, The Undertaker vs Dave's Dad and John Wick's Watch??? with Andrew Ryan & Dave Elliott

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Your hair looks really well. No.
Do you mean that because I'm waiting for?
Your hair looks good. Thank you.
What is it about it you're like?It's a bit higher and it looks a
wee bit sort of she and fire on us.
Thank you very much, that's really made me happy.
That an American haircut. Yep, I got a cut in EH Austin.
And when you went in, what's thedifference between getting a cut

(00:22):
over there and a cut over here? What's the style?
What's the energy like? Well, the barbers English.
Yeah, you're alright. Yeah, let me tell you a little
bit. You were just talking about the
TV show Adolescence there. Yeah, right.
Are we off? No, we're on, We're on.
On the pot, yeah, we're off. We're off, We're off the races,
we're off to the races. So I don't know what that's what

(00:45):
it's about too much, but I know Stephen Graham's in it.
Unbelievable. One of the best actors of his
generation. Oh, what I do.
There's a kid in it and people are going I, I said the couple
of minutes earlier and what's upgroup?
I don't watch sad stuff anymore.See stuff that makes you like.
It's unbelievable. This is perfect for you and Dave

(01:07):
because you're both parents, so you need to watch it.
I'm not a parent because it's about the kid and and it's about
the family around what happens. And it's all shot in one court.
There's no court. There's no editing.
That would suit me so. So basically the cameras are
moving all the time. You've filmed by drawings.
It is one of the best film showsI've ever seen in terms of the

(01:27):
camera work, the content. I'm not going to give too much
away from you, but let me just say I think it's a very
important show for the time of the time that we live in now and
about young children, male and female, and about what's
happening with phones, Right. And it's about parents who I
suppose are good parents, but ultimately don't know what the

(01:48):
kids looking at. Yeah.
And it's about the impact of what they're looking at then can
have going forward into their soccer day-to-day life.
I just like see heavy watching heavy stuff.
No, but it's important to watch it like but it's like I, I don't
have kids, but I remember finished watching it message my
brother who's got two young boysand I went what are they doing?

(02:08):
It's. An intense message?
No. What are they doing?
And I said to like, have you watched it?
Was you ever watching? I said, are you watching away
your sons? Because you should watch it with
your sons of a certain age. I know your kids are really
small, but like. But yeah, what is?
This. No, but like, I think like, you
know, if you've got teenage sons, you should be watching it
with them. Yeah.
Yeah. It's only 4 episodes, 34 hours.

(02:29):
Yeah. And it's Stephen Graham.
I discovered him in This is England.
Do you watch This is England? I saw someone had discovered him
before I think all them into this.
But I came across him in that and he was unbelievable.
And he is. He's all this is.
England is phenom. One of the greatest shows

(02:49):
around. Some of the greatest scenes,
yeah, May ever made. Yeah.
Dealing with really powerful, more horrible situations.
More importantly, what was the text the boy sent each other
being like? White T-shirt, open shirt?
But he's Navy and black. Yeah.
But this is Friday cash and you're Friday cash.

(03:09):
I'm cash today I. Think, he said.
Cash. It's Friday cash.
I don't know. Friday Cash.
I would go round and say to people, listen, I'm Freddie Cash
today and then. It's just, it's just, you know
what do? You look like a country singer
called Friday Cash. No, don't.
Friday cash, doesn't he? Yeah, here's Friday Cash.
Yeah. Friday cash.
You have like a radio Jingle. Friday Cash.

(03:30):
And have you ever heard country music?
Do you know what? I I wanna go, I want to go to
Nashville because it's country. I know.
Yeah, it's early. Aer Lingus are doing flights
from Dublin now to Nashville Direct, right?
So. No, because Aer Lingus that we
got to visit. Apparently it's supposed to be a

(03:50):
brilliant place. I've heard it's Griffon, yes,
but it is all because he's, there's a reluctant country guy,
right? Because he's got in the
Yellowstone and he's sort of like Yellowstone will turn you
into your country music guy. No, but he's resistant.
Yeah, but you, you'd everything but the stats, unlike you or.
That's pretty cat. That's pretty catches, right?

(04:12):
Everything but the stats. Is my new country song Friday
Cash. I want you.
I need you. Oh.
Say every country's country song, Every.
Country is not a country music artist called.
I got Beyoncé conscious of the. Country song.
Country music song have something to do with train
tracks. Leaving your girl.

(04:33):
Yeah. On your way.
Cold beers, Cold beers, watchingthe sun go down.
Yeah, it's all like the same kind of generic.
But then again, boy band music is all the same, like.
Zippers, let me take a quick 2ndto tell you that we are
sponsored by none other than ourfriend That Price Guy, Ireland's
largest price site and it's not even close.

(04:53):
How much money David under do you think That Price Guys given
away in total? Underground.
Andrew. What, a year or month?
For overall, much he's given away.
I don't know, 50 mil. 125 mil. Do you know what I enter it?
Yeah, Every month me and Judy buy tickets.
Well, not. Yep.
Well, here's the thing. You could go for the big prizes

(05:17):
or you could go for like the smaller price.
Instant wins and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, I I buy it more now than Iever done the Lotto.
But people and Paul has made more millionaires in Northern
Ireland than written saying thanthe lottery.
I think I'm writing saying that don't let they've just made
their 9th millionaire 9th millionaire.
Fair play to Madam Nice guy as well, Madam.

(05:39):
Oh, on the no, it was him till I'm we're doing.
A football match in May at Seaview and there's all candy
sponsored by by that Price guy as well.
They're taking over. You watch every big UK sporting
event at the minute, especially like MMA and boxing.
That Price guy all over it just teamed up with Eddie Hearn for
some sponsorship and really killing it.

(05:59):
So I think we're going to the the Eubank and Ben fight and
that is being sponsored by that price game, that price
guy.co.uk. Have a look at everything that's
going on there. It's absolutely wild.
If you enjoy the Tea with Me podcast and you want to see more
patreon.com/tea with Me podcast bonus episode on the Monday live
stream and tickets to all of ourlive events, patreon.com/team Me

(06:21):
podcast. But you might you love it.
Now I. Love the Yellowstone but I do
not like. I don't like that people here
think they're Cowboys. Yeah, like, I mean, people walk.
I saw. I laughed in a man's face
without even thinking. I was in Mount Stewart, the
National Trust, walking with my kids.
And a guy walked out of a gardenwearing a cowboy hat.

(06:42):
And, like, it wasn't as a bit. And he just walked up the steps.
They saw. And he's like, what's this guy
doing? I'm like.
It's not practical, no, I laughed in a man's face in New
York, right? I guarantee the way things work.
The guy I'm talking about will either see this or make it sent
it. I was leaving a breakfast place
in New York on my last day thereand a fellow was walking down

(07:04):
the street near Times Square andit's only me and him really on
the street. There's not that many other
people around. And I'm headphones in and I
clocked him from like me to yourway.
And I burst out laughing becausein my head I went, I know for a
fact just by looking at him thathe's from here.
Yeah, he's from home. I was like, there's no doubt in
my mind. And then I laughed because I was
like, it's not funny that there's a distinctive look.

(07:25):
But then I was like, but I bet he's probably like German or
something. Isn't from here.
But that's funny, the idea they might be from here.
As I got closer to him, he went,she and Todd, what's a crack?
And I start talking to him and then I went, I was buzzing.
I went, this is mental. I was like, and he goes, what do
you mean? And I said, I know you're from
home. And the guy goes, he's buzzing.
He goes, do you know me or something?

(07:47):
And I went, no, I thought when Isaw you, I looked at you and I
looked at your face and head andI went, he is definitely from
here. Like he's from Northern Ireland,
just by your face and head. And the guy's like, Oh, yeah.
But he. Didn't like it?
They can. Go to an airport, you see, and
you know, an Irish person in an airport, you're like that, those
guys, yeah. All the time the big spot head
like. I was on the Great Wall of

(08:08):
China, right? I was walking the Great Wall of
China. The.
Whole thing. I did the four hour walk.
There's two walks you can do thefour hour or the 9 hour walk,
right? I did the four hour walk in the
Great Wall of China and our tourguide, she was lovely
Scandinavian woman and it was about 20 of us and it was she
babe. Huh.
She babe, I know she was a bit older, like that's right.

(08:29):
And you have all babes. Wow, no.
But I was only 20 at the time. Have you heard of DM Helen
Mirren? Yeah, but I was only 20.
Have you heard of MILFS? I heard of Milfs.
Yeah, like your wife. Yes.
I'll give you that. Hey, hey, double S down.

(08:53):
Let's break. Don't want no.
She's a mother I'd like to fuck.My mom, just my mom just tripled
down there. She wants a mother, and she.
Yeah, fuck. I can't wait for you.
Adam. Does anyone have any objections?
Yes, this guy. What's the fuck?

(09:21):
I'm on the Great Wall of China. Did you say you want to fuck his
wife on the Great Wall of China?That sounds like a shit country
song too. Just taking her to China.
I want to see your vagina. On the Great Wall of China
anyway, I'm on the Great Wall ofChina and I'm doing the four

(09:42):
hour walk right and there was a fella there, a big head in them
when I went. He's Irish, so I went up to when
I went, all right. Anyway, who's gone?
Turned out walk with me brother.Is the is a Great Wall of China?
Like, is it one of those things when you actually get there it's
not worth it? No.
You could just look at it in Google.
It's not a, it's not a great. And it's fault, it's in bad

(10:04):
shape. It's not quite a lot of.
It it's in bad shape, a lot of Mongolians knocking around
trying to sell your stuff. Fever from Mongolia like.
OK. Thank you.
Well, that's true. They're almost there like, you
know, nice people like, but didn't have a lot of cash on me

(10:24):
like. What, like what did?
What did they look like? No, dude.
Like you'd be walking and like they'd come up and they they
hold an umbrella for you if it was raining and at the end of it
you've to pay them for holding the umbrella, right.
And you're like, no, I'm alreadygot you know, and you give them
some money like I'm going 20 like so I didn't know the S kit.

(10:45):
I wasn't out of Ireland. That my long.
Yeah, apparently like a lot of walls, just not, not in good
shape. And I don't, I don't think you
cannot see it from space. It's.
Not effective. They have a console.
They could, they just feel like,listen, there's a couple of
bricks out here in the wall, could you get up and send a
couple outside? I.
Don't. I don't think it's more of a
tourist thing, No, You know, it's just more of one of the
isn't it one of the wonders of the world?

(11:06):
Yep. Yeah, it was 7 Wonders of the
World isn't. There didn't they built this
build at the stop the Huns getting them That's what it was
for under the the Han people, the Mongolians nons yeah trying
to get into China to get. Into Genghis Khan.
Yeah, what are the other wondersof the world?
Taj Mahal. Yep.
The Babylon Go Hanging Park Gardens of Babylon is that one.

(11:28):
What's that place in it in Cat? The pyramids and the place in
America, you know, the cliffs where the water goes off.
Niagara Falls, Niagara. Falls.
Isn't that a wonder in the? World.
I think it's a natural wonder ofthe world though.
It's always like man made a natural wonder.
Pyramids anyway, like Jesus. Yeah, Machu Picchu, Christ the
Redeemer. There's seven of them, isn't?

(11:49):
That Taj Mahal. Yeah, seven of the.
World Great Wall of China. Who's the 8th wonder I've?
Done one, I've done one of the seven.
Andre the Giant, mate, So he's abill.
Henry, me and the Me and the Ever.
We have a date on Saturday night, me and my pal Dave
Elliott are going out and Saturday night couple of boys go
on their show. What you gonna say?

(12:10):
Don't judge wrestling where SSE.Couple of So it's this American
wrestling, yeah. World Wrestling or WWE?
Yeah, OK. Yeah, did you ever watch
Wrestling Grown? Up Random and Randall Savage.
Round the man round. Ultimate warrior?
Yeah. The Undertaker.
Yeah, a Chico. Remember he had the chains and

(12:33):
they had the to pick over his ear.
That's Razor Ramon. Razor Ramon used to do all that.
Then you had own heart. Brett Hart.
All Brett eh own died. Yes, he fell off the top of the.
Building and then Brett Hart. I remember Brett doing
WrestleMania 13 or so. By the way, sorry, can I just
point out Own Heart died during an actual wrestling event when

(12:56):
he's supposed to come down like he was supposed to like come
down a wire from the roof, but the wires didn't work.
We just like fell down to the ring and died.
Hey continued the event. They just like scraped them up
and just moved on with this and all the other wrestlers knew he
was dead. Undertaker was like good friend
is and fought next, didn't he? Yeah.
And then you can just see in hisface the Undertaker was like

(13:16):
just sad. Because I think that it was.
Was it the Godfather or Jeff Jarrett the went to and like he
was like sad and like, Oh yeah, really sorry about no one.
But then he had to get into character.
But you, you're going to get it.Yeah, yeah.
Jeff Jarrett promo straight after.
Like yeah. What about them?
Do you know when I used to have the Royal Rumble?
Oh. Yeah.
When they all start in the ring,yeah, if you go over the rope

(13:38):
shirt, you're. Done.
I love that. Royal Rumble was my favourite
one, yeah, but when I found out it was fake I lost interest.
It's one when I found out it wasfake, like a lost interest.
Nothing. Sports Entertainment.
They're not hitting each other. Well, it's real.
There was a thing happened this week that was stinking.
I saw on last night, Willie showed at the man, the libraries

(13:59):
and there's a guy took a bump ona like he hits like a he lands
and was on a baseball bat with Neil's on it.
And it was, he got suplexed on it and it was right in his back
and they couldn't take it out and like this, it was absolutely
horrendous. WWE.
AE W Yeah, so it was pretty stinking.
If you check it out on Twitter, type John Moxon.

(14:21):
It's your dad, thought the undertaker from them.
Nearly. Yeah.
Remind me that. These dad thought the
Undertaker, Neil Strahol. So my dad is one of the most
well meaning guys you'll meet. He always has good intentions
and tries to do nice things first, but sometimes you'll fuck
it a bit like he took me to see.Just so sorry.

(14:44):
Just tell him in a sentence. I know we talked about recently.
Just tell him about the museum, right?
So just in a sentence. My mom and dad and a couple of
their gay friends went to Iceland for holidays.
They'd all itinerary planned outmuch like yourself, but one day
was blank. My dad says I'll get the
activity sorted. I'll get us something to do.
And my mum's like it's very out of character but lovely.

(15:05):
Go ahead. And he goes no bothers.
You know, the boys are coming toand he was like, don't worry and
cater for them too. I'm almost really it's really
nice of them. So the next day comes transport
gets them, takes them to the event that my dad has booked a
penis museum. He's like, I know these lots of
love that I take echo and then my mom quite rightly point out,

(15:28):
say, I think they're just more interested in like human
penises. I don't think it's just.
I think that's what makes you gay.
General penis. Yeah, but he was like Anthony
Ferdinand. A good day, that a good.
Party taken to. Mark called Lecock.
He just, he just typed. He must have just typed Gay
Iceland. I'm gone.
There's something else. But they're not so offensive.
But he didn't mean to be. Oh no, But the boys loved it.

(15:49):
Yeah, they had a good time, but it came from a place of jet
like, yeah, there was no malice to it.
It was him thinking, you know, an old dabbing like a SO.
Your dad for the Undertaker. So my dad had bought me tickets
to see All American Wrestling inthe Ulster Hall and when he
showed me the poster it said AllAmerican Wrestling and had

(16:10):
pictures of the Undertaker, Kane, Stone Cold Steve, Austin.
Don't call. What are we talking here in
1990? 8 No, I was, I was pretty.
I must have been maybe 9697. I must have been about 9 or 10,
right, Right. And I was buzzing about it like,
like, this is my because I'd notbeen the proper event like that
before. And I got there, we're going to
see them. So we get the door of the Ulster

(16:31):
Hall and as we're walking in, like the doorman stops my dad
and he's like here, I mean, do you want to sit ringside with
your kid? And he was like, ah, yeah, sure.
He goes. Only thing is we're kind of down
a few men if you would jump in and do we?
And like what it was I can you just like we'll just come in and
pretend to be a security. And he was like, no.

(16:51):
And he goes, Oh well can you do the door then I'll jump in
instead. And he's like, yeah.
And he goes, we'll refund your tickets and your son can sit in
the front row. And my dad was like, alright.
And he sent me the front front row by myself.
And I'm like, this is cool because he's gonna, I get to go
backstage and meet the Undertaker and Cane.
And the first thing that Cane's music comes on and then red
lights are everywhere. And I was like, oh, no, it's

(17:11):
Cane. And it was a dude, probably your
physique in a Cane costume with a black Afro.
And I said, fuck, isn't Cane. And every other dude was just a
dude, probably from a local estate, wearing cosplay of the
yeah, yeah, the Undertake. And that was the thing.

(17:32):
That guy wasn't rolling his eyes.
He was just crossing. Them.
And it was just like, this is shit.
And it was the worst standard ofentertainment ever.
Rest in peace mate. So it's.
Just fake. Oh, it was just lads on a policy
of money grabber, fucking tax dollars or something, because
yes, Oh my God, I got the to do the door and I got, I did.
To be fair, I did get to meet them, but I fucking eat them.

(17:54):
Yeah, you're not. Fucking we have fun at WWE.
Probably, yeah. Yeah, It might be a wee bit
weird, you know, It might be a little bit.
I got invited last year and I didn't go and then I regret it,
so I'm looking forward. To this, I hope it's good.
Hope it's good, yeah. Are we going to make?
Cody wrote. I don't know.
Is that what you want to do? Yeah, we could do it.
I've got to see Paul Hughes. Yeah, I'm gonna SSC in April.

(18:17):
Yeah, I think it's in April, Yeah.
Putting on me, Cody wrote. You, you Big Fight founder.
Well, I'm in the I'm in. I went to cage fighting there up
in north Belfast. Run by the same guys around the
and. I was, Aaron was commentating.
So I went up and fuck. Brilliant like.

(18:37):
Brutal. Brutal man, I love that.
Because if you go like UFC or something, you know, you could
obviously be quite far away. But if you go to like small
events like that, yeah, you hearevery punch.
Oh, feel every kick. It's mad and of the.
As Andrew rang got a trips coming up.
Have you been on any trips? I'll.
Finish the tour now. So I'm done going to Italy with

(18:59):
the family like, but I'm not doing any comedy.
Going to a campsite outside Rome.
There's eighteen of us. One of the best trips I had when
I was about 15 or 16, we went camping somewhere inside the
France. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. So all my brothers and sister.
We're talking we mobile homes. Yeah, me and Julie got A2 bed

(19:19):
mobile home and we're going to go for a week with the family
and then we're spending three days ourselves.
And why 2 beds? 2:00 rooms like no, there's two
rooms with kids are going to be count.
Some kids are going to be staying with us right.
It's all all put together like right, right.
So we're so it'll be great like.Davy, what's the next holiday
you're doing? I'm going to Portugal in in

(19:43):
June, end of June. Why are you saying like that?
Because I just in my head pictured when the kids are in
the mobile home with you, you just force them to watch
adolescence. If you need to see this, it's
going to fucking change your life.
We go down to the beach, notice 4 episodes there.
That's a really bad impression. You can't do my accent at all.

(20:08):
It's hard. It is different.
It is difficult. Can you do Chris Kent?
Yeah, but not his accent. Much bigger than him.
Yeah, I could do Chris, boy. Yeah, I could do Chris.
Yeah. Did you hear him a little?
Bit more deeper, isn't he? Yeah, he's a little more deeper.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, zippers, let me take a
quick 2nd to tell you we're sponsored by none of the Nord

(20:28):
VPN. Before I started to record this
and Dan said we're doing Nord VPN, read One of my guest,
Andrew Ryan looked at me withoutblinking and said to me, I use
that. I use Nord VP.
Andrew, what do you use Nord VPNfor?
So I can watch RTE because I changed my location?
Yeah, I also use it to watch American Premier League matches
on Pretend I'm in America, right?

(20:49):
Because obviously it's a 3:00 PMblackout here.
So I'm all above. I'm all aboard the Nord VPN
train. All Aboard, All Above and Choo
choonordvpn.com is is in a more.If you have Nord VPN account you
can use it on up to 10 devices. When I was on my tour of America
there I don't mind telling you that I was watching BBC iPlayer
and ITV Player. Are you watch ITV Player to

(21:11):
watch the Carboy Cup final on a train from Philly to New York N
VPN blip blip blip. I'm watching it very fast and
efficient. Fast and efficient the way we
like it. To get the best discount of your
N VPN plan go to nvpn.com site team me.
Look in the link below, all the info is there.
No, it's I'm going to to Rome and then no other trips now.

(21:32):
I did some gigs in Europe and finished the tour in Strabane.
Two nights in Strabane was amazing.
Film. Film Ball nights couldn't have
gone any better. Oh yeah.
Like to the point where Fast he filmed it and like he just went.
Probably don't even have to do much with that.
It was so good. Like it was just so good.
I'd make him do stuff. No, but like in terms of

(21:53):
lightning, he just said it was one of the finest hours of
standard we've ever seen in thislife.
You know what I I've actually like?
Maybe fuck myself in a way because I filmed the special
before I went to America in wheel theatre and workload.
Oh yeah, the way. Yeah.
And they're all sorted. And then when I did, obviously

(22:15):
the longer you do the show, the better it gets.
Yes, the thing it. Gets tighter.
Done that and like you're addingin bits and you drop bits all
together because you don't have time because this bit earlier in
the set gets longer and you're more punch lines in it so I did
some of the shows in America, the clubs, they film it for you
you're just after the show they're like you want your
footage and that's normally justlike a master shot.

(22:37):
Zeni's in Chicago, 4 cameras setup I'm talking about 160 people
sold out low roof packed in comedy club for four angles.
So I'm going, I might just that might just be.
What I release and also great that you've, you know, you've
specials in Belfast, specials inAmerica, Yeah.

(22:57):
Unbelievable. So I don't know what I'll do,
but I need to watch our footage.Yeah, that's great, man.
Because it gets like as it goes on.
You just feel like this is better already.
Yeah, you feel enjoy one in Bangor.
Yeah, I need to watch that. I see it myself.
Can't watch yourself back. Yeah, I'm just sorry.
Yeah, it's hard watching how I look.
I hate how I look. I hate how I look at the moment,

(23:18):
so I'm kind of. You look amazing.
No, I don't feel. I don't.
I don't. Know what's wrong?
You just. Write an ingrown toner your.
Feet out, huh? Don't have your feet out.
No, I. Was limping for a long time and
then see I Did you get ingrown toner as well?
No, just ligaments in my gormer.My ligaments and then ingrown
toner then then I got the toenail removed and got

(23:39):
infected. I'm only I'm only back to myself
last couple of weeks. I don't know if you are back to
yourself. I know I could have done your
nails for you, I'm pretty good at that.
Yeah, but I was out of the gym for about four weeks, you see,
and I got a bit frustrated and. When you lose that routine,
it's. After routine man.
Because I we're both orthopaedic, guess me and him.

(23:59):
Bone man insults Oh. So we have the insults changed
my life. Unbelievable.
Did you get back pain for the first day?
No, not really because I said dofor an hour, next day do 2 hours
because. What happens is your your wires,
your back realign based on the impact of the ground.
So sometimes you can get a bit of back pain.
Well, you're not your wires. I call it the wires, but it's

(24:20):
like nerves. Nerves.
Like and. So what does it do?
Well, you get your feet analysed.
Right. And you see what way you're
walking. And I was like, I'm walking
pretty OK. And then Phil, who was doing my
analysis, slowed it all down. And he's like, look at your

(24:40):
right foot. And as it hits the ground, so
this foot hits the ground just normal like this.
This foot hits the ground. Yeah, yeah.
So I need stabilisation, yeah, Ineed my arches raised because at
the minute my arches are quite flat, yeah.
So I need them raised up like this.
Another raised up. Yeah, my right leg is longer
than me left right. So every time I hit the ground,

(25:03):
I would. So my feet are like this.
My natural stance is my right foot faces out, faces 2:00.
So when I hit the ground, it's obviously.
So would you say you're more right and.
Yeah, in what you mean. Like with your foot?
Yeah. So I would tend to you lean to
the right, I lean to the right, you see.
You'd be obviously fucking amazing, the free kick so.

(25:24):
Yeah, but like once you get all that stuff, how long have?
You learned to the right for. I've had insults.
No, I'm centre left. Shit, you know I'm centre left.
You know, my politics is centralleft.
If you look like a guy who politics have always been right,
but no, you're so left. Yeah, no, you know what I mean?
I know politics makes me size. Yeah, what's?

(25:47):
It like in America, huh? You know, with Trump and all
that, what was the vibe? That I wasn't really talking to
people about it, but. I'd be more shocked if you went
over and asked the way politics.Yeah, yeah, You know, I was just
trying to get like a bit of a town.
Umm, but I mean, I don't know, like, I, I went to Mexico.
Me and Sean, I agree. Went to Mexico, trying to get

(26:07):
lunch, couldn't find anyone. Came back.
True story. What?
We were in San Diego, me and Sean, and Tijuana is not that
far away at all, the border crossing.
So we just got a train down to the border and went to Mexico
and they tell you when you arrive don't walk anywhere just
like get a cab. But then we didn't have pay off

(26:29):
so we just walked. I was like, Sean, we'll be fine.
And then I. Yeah, your knowledge.
I got the Mexican borders. I got the map, Dave.
I got the map wrong, right. And I ended up taking us, ended
up taking us further into like the backstreets of Tijuana.
And we look touristy as fuck, obviously.
And then I was like, I'll get usan Uber.

(26:51):
And then I swear to God, I don'tknow if the guy's car had an
engine, but I saw a vehicle arrived anyway.
And the guy took us into the middle of Tijuana.
You need to go with a local who knows the lay of the land.
We didn't know where we're going, what we're doing,
couldn't see any restaurants that were like the look of.
And then I was like, let me Google like nice air, like good
neighbourhood and stuff. And I did and got us an Uber to

(27:13):
that place. And it was worse than the place
we're in before. So then we just went back to the
border. I had to wait 2 hours to cross
Sincere. No dinner.
You see, I mean, that is the most you thing I've ever heard,
I think. Yeah, you see the wall like you
see the ball and it's a wall in the sea.
So it's like on the beach. And then it goes into the water
by about looks like about 15 feet.

(27:35):
And you look at it and you're like, people could just swim
around that because of the current and the way it is, you
actually can't. But it's mad.
People play on the beach on bothsides and like you can see
through it, obviously. And then I definitely had that
thing where we were on the tree and back and I was looking at
that wall and I was like, terrible.
Is it the wall Trump build? No, I was always there.

(27:56):
But I was always there. I thought, yeah.
I was like, it's terrible that this is divided in 2025.
Like where does that? And then I remember like we did.
But also it's two different countries, so that's why
there's. That's true, and our wall has a
door in it. Yeah, and it's in Belfast, you
know, I mean, it's like, yeah, different peace walls, Yeah.
Yeah, Amazon deliveries at that wall door in Belfast.

(28:16):
Yeah. Yeah, but but it was the poverty
was mad like when you are sounding you pretty like
affluent, like a nice city, mostof it and then you cross in the
Mexico and it's like instant, it's not like you see straight
away the difference in the culture and the lives.
It's mad no one speaks English. You assume because you're

(28:39):
entitled or whatever that everywhere is going to speak
English to help us out. Those boys are not interested at
all. It was not wow.
It was clearly go and say we went but it was mad and the
security like getting in to Mexico, no issue coming back
into America. Wild big lines.
Were you questioned and stuff? No.

(29:01):
Well, yeah, the guys like, I suppose.
Yeah, the guys like, what are you doing here?
That's actually what they don't want.
Get in America. What lines?
Drugs. Are drugs drugs?
Yeah. But you had a good trip.
Yeah, it was brilliant. Best trip so far.
Best America trip so far down? But he said he did.
You do. But 10 or some?
Good hotels. Austin, TX.

(29:22):
Yeah. Mothership.
Did you do a set there? A solo.
I did miss solo show Creek in The Cave and then I did three
nights Mothership Spot. Was Joe Rogan there?
No, no, why you said that like you have beef for them.
You like, you see him, you tell him as.
I would not be for them. I don't know.
I tell people he's my Irish and.She's more into Elka anyway than
beef, isn't he? Yeah.

(29:44):
Was the buttership good? It's fucking incredible.
It's the best comedy club in theworld, really.
Yeah, ceiling. It's purpose built.
Every inch of it is purpose built by him and by comedians.
So like you go in and it's just the staff, like everybody just
is, everybody's just on board. It is incredible.
You looked after really well, yeah.

(30:04):
Yeah, What do you get in the green room?
Do you eat Beat? That's a Tucker.
Whatever you want, big fridge with whatever you want then.
What was in the fridge And you're there.
I got a couple of cons of that cool, but I was like, I was
looking. I didn't want to like be too
much in the green room and stuff.
What would you get a newbie green room if you'd your choice.
Just water. I wouldn't be the one demand.
Well, I thought I was telling you that when I was doing

(30:25):
Shredded, the Culligan's podcast, the MLS podcast that
day when I was in New York. Is it like hooligans and cool
next? Yep.
Like that, they had a role with football tops and they let me
take this Nashville top and loads other tops.
Have you ever been in a situation where somebody was
like, take whatever you want there?
Yeah, what was it? Golf Warehouse, Oh, just a

(30:47):
close, close. Yeah, but what what was?
Because I love this, right. So were they like take whatever
you want or was there a specificsection where it's like take a
couple of? Whatever you want, but I felt
really guilty after like 3 or 4 items.
I took like 6 tops and I was like.
This is too much. But they were like, bad.
They were like they'll go to waste.
They were like, they don't fit us.
Take whatever you want. But I took like 6, but I should
take 20. So what?

(31:07):
What all did you take? I just took tops, golf tops,
trousers, hoodies, anything thatI could fit like and I was like
a long of a God. Yeah, they were like as long as
you want. I said, right, where is this
place? Eh, It was in down South, right?
There were a friend of a friend.Anyway, I just went, yeah, I
felt really guilty. I probably took about four or
£500 worth stuff. I used that stuff that I gave

(31:29):
that those presents. Did you have to help them?
For people like they'd be like, I got this from here, you're
associated with it. Were you promoting the board?
Stuff that wasn't selling, and they were.
If you ever got a free. Ransom.
No, because I'd have to be like Jacamo if I would go to or like
super big and mighty or something.
Yeah. And those guys, no offence,
aren't fashionable. Yeah, so you know who would be?
It'd be work. I really want to do America.

(31:51):
Would you want to do America? I mean, it depends what you mean
by dirt. Like go over and do shores get a
visa and I'm trying to figure out a way to get a visa at the
moment. Why don't you just get a turn
and immigration turning into thenormal way?
No to perform. Yeah.
You get the performers visa, don't.

(32:11):
Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to get that at the moment.
Right. Are you working with someone on?
A I've started a process right? I've had two conversations.
Because you right, hold on free like this.
You were like, I'm trying to figure out a way to get it and
like, yeah, but there. Is no, I've spoken to my agent
and my agents like, right, OK, we know somebody.
But he said. Because even Irish passport, you
might have to go through somebody else in the Republic of
Ireland. I know you get all that.

(32:34):
I know I'm not, so you don't. I know, but you don't because I
have an Irish passport but I usethe.
British marriage. No, I use marriage passport.
I have a British passport. OK, I need to figure this out.
I need to really do this becauseI really want to.
I really want. I pissed off MAGA on Facebook,
right? I put up a clip and what?

(32:56):
Was it? What was the gist of the clip?
Oh, where are you from? United States.
Sorry, I couldn't hear you therebecause of the tariffs, right?
And then I made a couple of jokes and then it got like three
or four, 3 million views. And then I've had to hold a MAGA
come after me, which has been brilliant crack.
And so I'm thinking, I'm really popular in Chicago now, right?
So my gosh, Chicago. It sounds like they want to you

(33:17):
there to kill you though. Yeah, but you're a good story.
Everyone telling me if they eversee me in Chicago on the wall
about it, let's get it. Let's get a show book.
But you should definitely like, yeah, so.
But Davis. Davis played America.
Before, yeah, I like it. It's always good time, always
fun, but I just don't think it'snot something like I want I have
to do. It I want to do it, I'm like,
hungry for it now, yeah. You should.

(33:38):
I'm just hungry. Rally for.
Long You know what? In the next two years, I want to
conquer Europe in America. All right out of Jesus.
I. Start with Poland.
I want to start, I want to, I did a couple more gigs in Europe
there, man, and like did Barcelona with you and stuff and
I just went, this is, this is where it is now.
Yeah. I want to start doing the.
I want to start jumping on planes like I'm going over to

(34:00):
these places. Well, if you're looking to this
button bit of past. Yeah, so I want to America,
Canada, Europe and Australia. I've been invited to Australia,
but it's not really worked out. Time is wise.
So, you know, I'm going global. Yeah, I'm going global.
But definitely like it's the it's.
The way forward in it, Yeah. Aaron Botter is going to Dubai

(34:21):
to do a lot of gigs in next week.
He's gone over to do the laughter factories doing 1010
nights. He rang me.
He goes. What are they like?
He's doing 10 nights. Ten nights, 7 gigs and 10 nights
or something. 6 gigs. Did you with this?
Yeah. Very excited to get the laughter
factor. 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've done him lots of times and he's rang me about it.
We played a picketball today, yes, and he was telling me about

(34:46):
it and I've been playing paddle and stuff.
You know what? Is that like a pickleball?
Is that Picketball somewhere? Is that a different game?
What you said you were playing picketball with them and I was
like, is that like pickleball oris it a different gamers?
I don't know. These are new games.
Picketball. All right.

(35:09):
I've only heard of pickleball. That's.
The pickleball, Yeah, it's a picket.
Not Picket. No, I don't fucking.
Know. Like I can just be.
What's the difference? What benefit does that now have?
Picketball, something you play if you're you're part of a
union, you all stand there and you.
Oh, right. OK.
You're a scammer if you if you break, yeah.
Sorry you were playing. Why are?

(35:31):
You, I just don't know. I just thought it was something
else. You.
Butler, made-up your own. No, we went to the Falls Rd gym.
We played picketball in the Falls Rd.
I imagine you played pickleball.Falls Leisure centre Andrew.
Yeah, gym and played picketball.Like my mom just gets more.

(35:58):
It's just a game. Sorry so.
We were playing that game anyway.
Yeah. And then he was telling me he's
going to buy and I've done the trip, so I was giving him some
tips. Yes, I know the hotels he stay
in. Good hotels.
You have good hotels. Yeah, good.
Important. You're in my hotel.
No, in America. Oh, you're good hotels.
Mixed bag. OK, Mixed bag.

(36:19):
No. Something I need to get your
help on is this. By the way, who won the
pickleball? Aaron, he's brilliant.
Is he? Yeah, he's great.
So me, me and Aaron played a game.
Then Connor, Brendan from Q joined us.
And then I played Connor. I'd be Connor.
And in two. Makes to the box.
Yeah, it makes over the box. And then me and Connor took on
Aaron on his own and he'd be both of us together.
We were double S and he was single.

(36:40):
And he long after the pickleball.
You'd love us, You'd love you. Play a battle.
No. Hold on is great.
Could beat off the three of you.I'm not falling for that.
Yeah, come on. I've not played paddle ball, but
I have been hit with a paddle. Andrew.

(37:01):
My wife that you want to fuck? I was on.
My can you not get over that I? How aggressive is being like,
can you not just get over that? I want to fuck you, Get over it.
So. Judy's got to kill me, you know.
I've been your sleep will be right.
So I was flying home on Monday, right?

(37:25):
I did a podcast at 2:00 on Monday.
Is that? The one where you had the
T-shirt down with the no divested?
No. Oh yeah, that was about.
That was that was a choice, yeah.
Talk about it. Let's talk.
Shame. Should I watch that?
But that's not the shame, you know, right?
Tell you the background of this.I was doing the Creek in the
Kiev from Solution in Austin. Colton, who works there, doing a
lot of tech and stuff goes. Would you want to do a podcast

(37:47):
tomorrow when you're in Austin? I said I would love that, he
said. It's kind of a gay podcast.
I said I don't know what that means, but I'll be there if you
give me a time do. They do gay stuff on it like.
This is the thing now, I watchedsome of the clips when he asked
me and then later on when I before I was leaving he's
they're always wearing vests on and a lot of the guests are

(38:08):
wearing vests. All right, OK.
Because it's, you know, it's a gay pod.
It's very hot there. So I said I'll be there
tomorrow. Not only will I be there
tomorrow, but I have a vest thatI'm going to wear, so it's like
30° as well, so it makes sense. Yeah.
But then by the time I left, it was cold.
Yeah. I'd get a Lime scooter back to
hotel. It was cold.
But then it wasn't really a vest.

(38:29):
It was a sleeves T-shirt sleeves.
A vest would have been more. It was a sports fest.
It was waiting. It was it was weird.
It just didn't. It wasn't you.
I did comment on it, yeah. What did you say?
Very own brand. I'll see.
Ironically, I'd say it's not. That was the point.
So you're an old married couple?We love each other.
We do love each other. It's.

(38:49):
Organising my stag SO. So my.
So he's getting strippers and the strippers of a below average
height. That's not happening.
Let me say my brother in He's coming.
Yeah, when he's when he sees thelittle strippers.
Yeah, they did grind on him. He.
Can't see that he's 52. So we'll talk about your stag in
a SEC. So my flight was at 6:00 PM from

(39:10):
New York to Dublin. At 2:00 I was leaving a podcast
studio to go to the airport. Your flight's been cancelled,
airlines. You've no luck.
But they put you on an alternative flight, the
Heathrow. That's.
No use to me, that's no use to me.
So I booked. I went Skyscanner and there was
a flight going from a different airport in New York to Dublin

(39:32):
for around the same time. So I just paid that booked up
and I'm hoping to use the compensation to offset the fee I
paid. Do you think I'll be all right?
Said I might get up to £600, Andrew.
And you don't. You don't really have what
you're looking at. If you watch a John Wick watch.

(39:54):
I bought this in Dubai, remember?
About that Dubai. It says John Wick on it.
Who's John Wick? Who's John Wick?
Who's John Wick? Is that a mood?
Yeah, Kelly Reeves is John Wick.John likes like a real like is
it got a secret age and he's like an assassin.
It's a franchise of movies, likeit doesn't say John.
It says John, John Wick, you bought it with me.

(40:18):
You, I said you want to check itout and you picked up and you
went, yeah, that's a good one. He's assassin.
I can out of 10. He hasn't seen the movies.
People are like, oh, what's yourfavourite movie?
One of the John Wick movies? I don't know.
You weren't a watch. So.
That's just really. I thought John Wick was a watch
brand. I thought it was like the wiki
watches or something, I don't know when.

(40:44):
Oh yeah, I've got a Rolex. What?
I mean, I've got to work. That's really sweet.
You should get the money back. Yeah, OK.
Follow the procedure on air Lingus stuff.
You've done it. You've got.
What do I book through a third party?
They said. The third party's got to sort
it. Oh, man, I don't know.
I don't know about that. Just followed the process.
You'd be OK. You'll get it.

(41:05):
It's 28 days and. Trust the process.
Andrew Einsteig, the valid. Yes, she thought, it's.
Gonna be good. It's gonna be let.
It's gonna be good fun. It's gonna be good time.
Few people question and Cork is the destination.
Why? Sam?
I'm sent Perfect. Why?
Because. They're like buddy from there
and I'm like nobody don't live there, so it's perfect.
I have I only got that. Often I know I is perfect.
And you'll not be back. I'm delighted with Corkers.

(41:27):
I'll tell you why we're doing cork #1 it'd be nice for you
guys to come down, you know, andhave a proper time in my tone.
Secondly, I have a lot of peoplein the group that can't go
abroad because. Criminals.
No, because they're children, the costs.
And I just thought, you know what, that's fine.
I get it. And secondly, you have the
option of doing one night or twoor both.
And I think it gives people a little bit of that.

(41:49):
One night or two or board. The option, yeah, You know what
I mean? Yeah.
And I just thought, you know what?
I get to graduate. The guys in Cork, I'm also doing
a second stag as well. I'm also doing like a night
here, like a little night here maybe in August.
What? Just a little home 1 here.
Like, you know, like say look, that's fine, come out for a bit.
Dinner and a couple of pints on a Friday.

(42:09):
Yeah, maybe six or seven of us, right?
Just something nice and soft, you know what I mean?
So cork, cork stacks going to behard, yeah.
Of course, will be hard no? So I thought it would be really
nice and there's lots of pups and cork that I've not been to
and I want to do a topic. We know we're dressed now.
It's not John Wick. And the two.
If I got dressed off. We don't know.

(42:32):
You're meeting Aaron for coffee next week.
Yeah. Well, no, because he's going to
Dubai and I so have to reschedule that.
Or I think it's the week after next is going something.
We'll put together. Yeah, yeah.
Butler going to do by himself for a week in the but.
A street comics going. Oh yeah, he's going to.
Two from England, really. Yeah, It's it's, it's a tour
like right. So I've done this.
I'm. Delighted he's doing this.
Yeah, he's going with. I actually don't know.

(42:54):
I don't know, he said. He hasn't got the names of the
other comedians yet. But I've done the trip a few
times. It's flights, lovely hotels,
breakfast, lunch and dinner all covered.
And you get paid as well and youget a couple of free days to
yourself and the crew who run it, Ken, who's the one of the
production guys, you just pick you up and drive your own
anywhere you want to go and do it.
But it's what? It's a holiday like it is a

(43:14):
holiday, You know what I mean? I heard, I think he said to me,
I don't know if there's Jim Davidson, Chubby Brown.
You think they'd have no issues doing a show in the Middle East?
Yeah. But yeah, I'm looking forward to
the stag. It should be a bit of crackers.
And have you ever worked with like Chubby Brown or Bernard
Manning or anything when you were in England?

(43:36):
No, I stood next to Jim Davidsonin a bar in Edinburgh, right.
And he had one of these pinstripe suits on, you know, he
loves a little like, yeah, really thing hanging out of his
pocket handkerchief. And he had an air of like, I
don't know, it's. Legend.
Like what I grew when I was a kid, right?
And I don't know if you guys didthis, but when I was kid I used
to watch a break, big break right now.

(43:58):
Obviously this was before I knewanything about John Virgo and
him. I used to.
It was really funny, like. I used to know when John Virgo
would be like, can I have a rest?
And Jim be like, you restarted. I would cry, laugh.
Every time. And then obviously, you know,
things just kind of like changedand stuff.
So, but no, like I mean, I've never met any of those guys.
The gym change or did the world change?

(44:19):
But the world is always changing.
You've got to change whether you're going to be left by.
You're right. That's the way to work because
obviously where we do like stories and Icdotes and stuff
and we should try be able to throw away one liner and every
night again change it up. Now.
What do you call an artist with smelly fingers?
Picasso. Here's one.

(44:41):
Here's one. My girlfriend's dog died.
So yeah, fuck it, I'm sorry. I'll try to get your back for
for. And my girlfriend's dog died, so
I got another dog exactly the same.
What's she going to do with two dead dogs?
Yeah, that's Gary Delaney. Yeah, he's a brilliant one
liner. Yeah, it must have been one of

(45:02):
his. Best can I tell you I I've
written A1 liner. What I've written A1 liner.
They're very hard, man. That's right.
Well. This one wasn't.
I just went right back into my family tree.
They got covered in SAP. SAP Yeah.

(45:23):
What's up? The stuff in the tree like oh
wood Nah SAP is in the wood like.
All right, I had to write some some jokes for a child friendly
radio podcast. Those down daddy what's podcast?
BBC Science. And one of them was where does
where does the doggy keep his Christmas decorations in the

(45:46):
worst space? Did you write that?
That's really good. My friends my friends call Liam
his nickname is 2 legs Liam. We only call him two legs Liam
because only got 1 arm. This.

(46:07):
There's silence. There's silence.
This lady hooks up with a man and she's, she's really like
paranoid because she's got like,she's got a very specious
vagina, right? So she's really like that.
Start again there. You really threw me.
With but hook up with a guy, which is paranoid, right?

(46:30):
So what she does is she knows you're going to have sex at
night. So she goes to a Bitcher, she
gets a little liver, she packs it out.
So she hooks up with this guy into very paranoid about it.
And the next morning he's left, but he's left her a note and he
says, just want to thank you foran amazing night.
He's like, that was absolutely incredible.

(46:50):
He's like, I actually want to work now, but I'm just counting
down the time until I can see you again.
He's like, like, that blew my mind.
That was absolutely unbelievable.
And I would love to see you again.
PS You're constantly sinking. Well, that's stinking.

(47:11):
The dot that is from Curb enthusiasm.
Marty Funkoser tells the Jerry Seinfeld great team YouTube that
so Andrew neither the tourist onwhat are you?
What are you going to do? I'm back playing loads of golf
again, doing the radio could. You play who?

(47:32):
Your golf friends. I can't play me on.
A golf boy. Played with Tony.
Yeah. A friend of mine, Johnny and
Chris, but I mostly play my own I don't really have.
The headphones in or anything? Yeah, sometimes.
Sometimes I just like the smell of the fresh cut grass, you
know, and. Smell and listen at the same
time. No, no, I like to.

(47:52):
You really can't listen to musicyou're playing.
Golf can't listen to you could you could focus on.
No, I play on my own a lot because I played odd hours.
Like, you know, most people are in work, you know what I mean?
So like, you know, I might get on.
I'm played Monday now. Like I'll be on the course of
12. Like who's free at 12 and a
Monday? How long does it take you to go
around? If I'm on my own, about 3-3
hours, 3 1/2 hours, just a 2 ball or three ball could be.

(48:15):
You talk to yourself when you'replaying golf.
You're by yourself. Like if you had a great shot,
will you be like, oh great. No, no, no, no.
But what I do is like, I do kindof talk to myself when I'm
setting up. What do you say?
You know, like, you know, straight takeaway, you know,
like make sure you're taking theclub back straight, you know,
make sure you're transferring your way and.

(48:35):
You're saying this out loud? Turn on your hips, Yeah, you
kind of reinforces what you've got to do and stuff.
And then if I'm chipping off thegreen and I'm like, OK, if I'm
hit low, chip the balls at the back right foot.
So where's my weight on the feetand all that kind?
Of stuff, thank God. Yeah, no, but I don't know.
But I think if you'd say it out loud, you you can read foot.
As you say it out loud in your head and you're still here.
You know, it's the way I play Shane.

(48:56):
It's actually. Almost the things you've ever
said. Accurate.
Yeah, like you said it loud in your head.
You still get it. Yeah.
You know, like I sometimes thinkthings in my head, but if I say
it, I'm. Going to say something here,
right? I said something in my head and
I heard. It, yeah, but that I had no
impact. But if I'm playing golf by
myself? I mean.

(49:18):
Yeah, but I think if you say it out loud and you hear yourself.
So you say it out loud in your head and you hear it.
Well. That's true, yeah.
I think it's I, I, that's how I do it.
Yeah. Yeah, I'd only do it if I'm on
my own. I've got right, Andrew.
But if you had a really good shot, would you be like, Oh,
well done? You know, he's like, you're like
Kevin McAllister from Home Alone.

(49:39):
He would do that, too. Like if the burglars are coming,
he was like, here they are. Don't mess this up now and then.
Yeah, that, you know? So you felt like that.
Yeah. But say for example, yeah, OK,
OK, let's say for example, if I'm chipping on to a green and I
want to get it up and down, right.
So I want to get chip on one pot.
I like, you know, you're Saturday with a 56° wage and I'm

(49:59):
going right up and down. Now, Andrew, come on up and
down. If someone is in the bushes
looking for their ball and they just hear you go, but I wouldn't
do it down Andrew, Up and down. They'll be like to me.
I just. Kind of say to.
Himself and you call yourself and really.
You know, it's just a way of doing it.
Like it's just a rhythm. Like you get into a rhythm of
stuff and sometimes you stand upon a tee box, you're going to

(50:20):
write, OK, here we go. Down the centre in a fairway,
trouble on the left, trouble on the right.
Come on, Andrew, down the centre, down the centre.
You just kind of reinforce things, you know what I mean?
Every golfer doesn't matter whenyou play football, when you play
football. Never talk myself on the pitch
ever. But Dave talks himself in the
gym. So, but he didn't know this.
So Dave, if he was like really going forward in the bench

(50:40):
press, he put the headphones in even if you're going to let me
get the headphones in. And then he would talk to
himself. But he like like slabbers on
himself, but he didn't know he was doing it out loud.
And no, they go and he used to go.
He would like get on there and he will war.
And he did get himself cheat up for the next Rep.
People go. He used to say to himself, oh,
come on, soccer. And then he would go for it.

(51:03):
But he kept like calling himselflike sly names.
He'd be like, let's go, Dave, you bastard.
And he was like saying all this to himself and Edinburgh.
Because that's what goes on in my head all the time.
That's literally the exact same thing.
Yeah, it's quite common. Like, yeah, all golfers would
know that would. Know would know that they ever
do something and then you get someone hears it and takes piss
on you. I was watching football

(51:23):
highlights on my computer and myheadphones and I don't know,
Catherine was behind me and I'm at 4.
I want to touch. And then she was like, oh, what
a touch. Shut up.
Yeah, Judy does that a few times, that if I'm watching
football or Man United, you comedown while I go, we're still
shit. And she'd be like, oh, will it

(51:44):
ever get good again? And I'm like, no.
And then we just be very good about it.
Clubs behind her curtain there. Also it's funny how Andrew is
over mentioning Julie now because he's declared his love.
Yes, so he's like, oh, Julie my.Beautiful and declared my love
for Catherine. Oh, you don't want you no love
involved? Catches a wonderful.
Physical. Actually, Catherine is a
wonderful woman. Yeah, yeah.

(52:05):
Oh, you made that. Clear.
She's a wonderful woman and she's bringing up two great
kids. Yeah.
With help. You know, like, it's like, well,
I think my wedding we're going to put up aside.
Welcome to Judy's wedding, also featuring Andrew.
You know, the support. I'm like the support for the
day. Yeah, yeah.
Do you know what we're doing under?
No, we're doing a Patreon exclusive event in the Black Box

(52:27):
on the 13th of April. Have you seen Kill Tony?
Yes, we they have a panel and somebody stands up and have to
do what a minute a stand up is. It and then they interview them
and stuff. People.
Most people have never done stand up.
We're doing it in the black box.Wow.
Panel is going to be me, Dave Elliott and William Thompson.
OK. 3 white man. Some friends of ours are coming
on to do one minute sets. Brand new one minute sets.

(52:47):
Non comedians, no comedians theyare.
Comedians and then there will beloads of people that we don't
know that are doing stand up formaybe the first time.
And it's from the patron, is it?Yeah.
Oh wow, something up in stage do.
You know what? I'd love to come and watch that.
I'd love to come and watch that.Yeah.
That'd be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you gonna be fun? I've seen the format.
It's Tony Hinch. Cliff, is it?
Yeah, Yeah, I've seen it. I'll be honest with you.

(53:08):
I Do you like it? Do you like to?
Do you like how to do it? I do like it.
I've got a mixed I'm going. To be it'll be fun that the mix
I'm. Kind of mixed about it, I think.
I think it can be really funny, but I also think it can be a
bit. Mean.
Well, we're not going to, but we're not going to be inside of.
Yourself as my Simon Carmel. Are you going to be the bitch?

(53:29):
Yeah. He's really going to be Louis.
Louis. Spence and CK and.
Love your shit, darling. Lee Walsh.
Yeah, do. You know why we went to see
Louis Spence? I was in Cheshire, recently
visited my friend I. Think he actually went this
house? Yeah.
He was doing panto and Oh no, hewasn't antwitch.

(53:50):
Louis Spence was doing panto andit was the worst.
I went to my friend. I'm godfather to the daughter.
So we all had a day out and we just went to a musical.
And how many people are each other?
Maybe people in the crowd, Yeah.Oh, 200.
Right. And Louis spent the main guy,
no? He just appears every so often

(54:11):
and then. Is he funny?
He's all right. Remember the guy that won
Britain's Got Talent because he was a dancer?
The one of the George. George.
He was the lead. You spending his head.
Yeah. And then it.
Went bald and said that's why hewent bald.
Genuinely. Yeah, and then George Samson,
the girl who was the lead, she'dwon.
Britain's Got Talent. She won Britain's Got Talent
with her dog. Oh, the Navy dog, the.

(54:33):
Dog died and she was like did itand we went to see it and.
You don't want to see her with the dog like.
Well, it'd be funny if Louise Spence was playing the dog.
Yeah, I would have. But it was it was Get me to
craft Charlie. It was, it was crazy.
It was lifted. His leg really high.
Like it was absolutely mad. Mad the technical.
Problems issue 1. The the clip of him, you know

(54:54):
when someone else is doing drum practise in another room and
he's shown people around the studio, but every time the guy
starts playing the drums he doesthis ridiculous like that.
It is the best clip of all time,is there?
Can I ask you a question? Have you been seeing the Tik
Toks going around the boat? Pineapple, Pineapple Dance
Studios with a guy called AndrewStone?

(55:15):
No OMGI love. We don't have time today, but
I'm going to show you. To use.
Are you a big tech talk bro? You're gay.
I flick, yeah. What's in your algorithm?
Oh, I don't have my phone, but alot of golf and a lot of car
crashes. Wow.

(55:37):
I get, I do. I like watching the dash cams.
I got a dash Cam. Did you in me car?
Yeah. I would assume you always had
that. I did.
I thought this is my third dash Cam now, but I got a new one
there recently and that's good. Yeah, it's proper cool.
This one like so, yeah, I watch a lot of dash Cam car crashes in
America. And then there's a there's a
really good YouTube channel called Code Code Code Blue or

(56:00):
something where it's just policeofficers arresting people.
It's funny you like it. I love all that crime shit, man,
That's brilliant. I like it when the person that
pulled over is, like, smarter than them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know.
Oh. I see, I don't.
Know not in a snarky way. I like it when they're children.
They're like, no, that's. Not there's a guy on TikTok
called deputy slope and he worksfor Pinal County sheriff and
he's like got a camera crew withhim all the time.

(56:22):
He's on the road Traffic Unit and he pulls over people and
he's he's. Brilliant.
Remember there used to just be crash videos on Channel 5 like
once a week? This guy won't be checking in
for work tomorrow. He's dead.
Yeah, with a white hair. Yeah, just roasting people after
they do. You remember cops from the 90s?
Absolutely. Oh.
Cops from the cops. Cops were bad boys.
Bad boys. Which because they were allowed

(56:44):
to fuck you, but. Did you ever see Steven Seagal
show We Got Lawman? He used to ride a lot.
He became a sheriff, didn't he? Yeah, but or, or something, but
whatever way they shot it, it was like when a crime happened,
they put like a graphic on screen like he was sensing it,
so it'd be like he'd be in the car and.
Smell. Well, he's like, we need to go
here now. There's been a crime.

(57:04):
And then the lawman would go andtake care of business and it
would just be so. So it's a classic.
But I've said before, like, do you think Seagal beats the fuck
out of us, or do you think you give him a decent fight?
I see all the stuff he does right?
You run on him and he's just like moves you that way with
these two fingers. Yeah, I think that's
choreographed. I think it's choreographed too,
but I do you think he has a beast line of like?

(57:25):
He did a thing where, like Anderson Silva, the UFC fighter
brought him into his camp to teach him something that I was
like, he's missing 11 move from his arsenal and I'm the man to
give him the move. And he taught him a crane kick.
Yeah. And his next fight, he won the
fight by doing this crane kick. And Seagal was just like, yes, I
told you that would happen. Yeah.

(57:47):
And there was the. And so then there's obviously
some people do take heed of whathe says.
And then I think it was a total fluke.
And he was like, if you ever tried kicking someone directly
up the face, he's gone. I'll try that.
And he did it. One of the best cop videos I
would love it if we could find it is when the guy gets pulled
over. It's based in the UK and the guy

(58:08):
what what would it need to be onplatform ice and I send you like
with tech talk work take talk. This is my absolute favourite.
It's called didn't call you Baldy.
I think I saw. Yeah.

(58:29):
He called the copper baldy. Did he?
Yeah, he was what you said. I didn't call you.
Baldy. It's by far the best I'm sending
the boys now. Have you been stopped by the
police at all, Dave? Yeah, got stopped by police, got
three penalty points in the spot.
When was this far? I was speeding, I was driving my

(58:49):
mum's car and didn't realise it was going as fast as I was.
This shit is why does no one ever just go Yep they got me of
speed. No.
That's my mum's. Car.
I put my hands up and I admit. That's why you put.
That's why, yeah, but I got the points.
I was fine, but then I got absolutely fucked and got
another three points because youguys, I was coming here to the

(59:10):
podcast was running a little bitlate, you know, in Hollywood,
where to where you come from buying in Hollywood, it goes
from 50 to 40 at the garages. They were on the corner and as I
was slowing down into the 40 because it already got my points
still, you know, and I just thought that's a dirty place to
do that. They're dirty, dirty bastards.
They're not that me 6 points. I have no for speeding on a

(59:31):
member. Did you try and talk about?
It you know I would never do drink and drive because it's
stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. You love it.
But. Yeah, I, I, I couldn't.
What? The idea of it is like, like I
think I'm a good driver, but I'ma lightweight, no good drink

(59:51):
because I drink like 1-2 three times a year, so.
Got a few drinks in Cork or yeah.
I don't know, a few drinks in Cork, I'm gonna, if we're doing
2 nights, I'm gonna have what I would call like a medium night
and a hard night. What's a hard night for you
know? 3 pints.
Walk around the local church or something.

(01:00:14):
Yeah, I think we're going to take a drop.
We're going to go to the Cork City Bulls game.
Brilliant. Andrew, we're there to do
whatever you want to do. No, no, no.
We're there to do what? We want what?
We want to do and he's going to be the part of.
He's the Trojan horse. Yeah, right.
M4 driver over a point, right? So this is in England?

(01:00:34):
OK, hold on. It's not very that's the right
video down and forth the absolutely here call you boldy
boldy. Hey, Boldy, you know it's weird.
I've consumed an entire bottle of water during this podcast.

(01:00:54):
You've not touched yours. Do you not drink water on stage
and you don't? Know I had water on this
morning. How much water?
I've got 14 May I try? I tried to drink about 1 1/2
litres, maybe 1 litre. I'm not going for this whole do
2 litres. You're not going to drink that
bottle. My dad doesn't drink after 2:00
PM. Can I take it?
Can I take? Protein, protein and drinking at
the moment. What's your protein?

(01:01:17):
Ice less beef, ice less. Come.
I'm. How are your kids?
You haven't seen them for a couple of weeks.
Are they all good? Yeah, just check it.
What a cycle. Good bro.

(01:01:41):
Do we need heaven? Jesus Christ.
With headphones here, Bush, I wonder.
Arrest because I didn't give himmy name.
Come back. Partially.
Because Dave's never seen this. Fuck, are you pulling me?
Right. Swear once more you'll be
arrested. Don't swear again.
I'll pick up you. Let's.
Please. I'm.
Sorry, balding in the. Building you can call me bald

(01:02:01):
you like don't bother me I. Didn't call you Baldy Baldy?
What's your name please? Mr. Give me your name and
address now I'll arrest you. Name and address.
Now I'll arrest you. Right, my name is.
You don't do that. I talked to this with Flight

(01:02:25):
simulator. What's the latest?
My God, do you get it? So the guys sourcing it for me,
Oh yeah, I've got all the parts,I've got a price.
Man, are you a bit of Walter Miley with us?
Every time we talk in a podcast,I can get it there.
It's taking a long time. You need to do it.
We want to be under the stairs, we want to go on the train and
go. What day does it know?
I think where we March. You'll be flying soon, don't

(01:02:46):
worry, right? I good I won't wait for that.
What do you want to apply us to?Just like UK or something.
No, I want. To fit one leg.
Oh no, you said my knee would. You sit in a normal chair behind
it like. Yeah, that's all right.
I'd like to depends on South of the Yeah, the pirate, yeah.
The guy that sourced that for meis a pilot.

(01:03:07):
Right. And he has a simulator that's
the exact one I want, but he says it's the component of the
Paris you. Have a simulator if he's already
a pilot. If he just does it for training
and stuff. Right.
Is he the one that lives next door to?
Yeah, it's not just kick, it would be maybe cheaper.
I've asked to buy the one just in the house look.
Could you put a wee door in justbetween the houses?
Well, I think that's right. That's where I go.

(01:03:28):
You go in his house. Go in house to do it like still
under the stairs but. He would be like if you just
just kept letting yourself come and go as you want that he can
don't have a go when you're already there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So scratch takes takes quite a
while because it has to be built.
Right. So it'll it'll be done.
Yeah, but I went playing spot and didn't.
I doesn't know that then about fast.

(01:03:50):
However me and Judy got take away we saw watch the planes
come in. Like on purpose or we eat new
take away and they were. Playing well, we kind of did a
bit of board like and we're watching the standard lines,
everything like rammed. Beautiful evening.
I like he think it was dog. Yeah.
All these people were there and they were so excited.
But then I just had sex with a lot of randomness.
Yeah, I did. He got watching the standalone

(01:04:14):
and. What was the what was the
takeaway you? Went to the chippy in Hollywood,
got a burger and chips. What?
Really. Yeah.
Scampionships. Brilliant.
Lovely. It's a nice Roddy Duckers.
What's the ultimate chippy or. Sausage, sausage and batter.
Right. Chips and gravy, right?
Cheeseburger on the site. Bad day like it's a bad day if

(01:04:34):
you're having a bad. Day what to drink?
Day coke, right? You're having a load of salt.
Red sauce. A No, the Curry sauce is enough.
Do you get vinegar? No, right.
It has to be in paper. Right has to come in paper.
That we all I would say I like Ilike I like a cheesy chip
cheese, but. Give me the whole.

(01:04:55):
Give me the whole thing. We're talking about a bad day.
You have your. Start I like a big chicken
Phillip burger do with the baconand cheese on it.
But if bacon, cheese, Phillip burger, cheesy chip, what else?
Then you would you could probably flirt with some fish
good like a cod, but then you don't get the cheese or the
chicken burger, depends on the mood.
And then you don't get a cheesy chip with the cod either.
So it's 2 separates. You know, we should do, we

(01:05:17):
should have like a big chippy afternoon in the summer.
Yeah. Joanne, get Lord of us.
All right lads, Chippy Fridays, after you do your parts, get a
lot of people down here, we'll go out.
Nice big sunny day, big chippy lunch.
Because you know. You chill out.
I want scampi and chips. Yeah, it's go down to The Dirty
Duck and go somewhere or somewhere and we get it.
Here's what I have at The Dirty Duck at the moment.

(01:05:38):
It's great. The portions are massive.
Absolutely. The portions are massive.
Here's what I have, the honey chilli chicken kind of thing,
the half and then the squid, right?
And I pour the. Scores to get squid.
Into the honey chilli chicken, mix it into the one dish and I
can actually tease that there ornot.

(01:05:58):
Just can we go to Dirty Duck? Why?
But you know what, I want to, I want to just speak to Foster
real quickly. You know it was one of the.
Best you want to go to dirty dog.
Elect his left, Elect his left can.
I can I just say Julie and I hada voucher for The Dirty Duck,
right? That your dad?
Can you give it to me, Shane? Your dad gave me a voucher for

(01:06:20):
The Dirty duck, right? And Julie and I went.
Never eaten there before. I think with that I was hoping
you'd take him. Was he?
And we went unbelievable. We should go.
Yeah. But listen, let's just say that
is on that. I don't want to go there, break
my dad. No, thank you.
You want that? Yeah, false day we used to go.

(01:06:41):
We used through papers together back in the day when we were
boys. And one of the highlights of the
year was the Christmas dinner. The paper boys should go on.
And it was the. Paper Boys Christmas dinner.
Paper Boys Christmas dinner or just go what it used to be
called. Bobby, Max, you go to Bobby.
Max, Bobby. Max for the spots where the
Rally Donkey is now. But it used to be Bobby Max.
The Rally Ducks Brilliant, but Bobby Max was a different vibe.

(01:07:03):
Bobby Max was your quintessential weekend chippy
dinner extravaganza fruit machine as soon as you walked
in. Excuse me?
Right. Unbelievable.
You would walk in and it was like it had the old.
I think just, it was like an oldfish and chip shop you'd have
seen in the 1990s in EastEnders.It was perfect.

(01:07:24):
Ah, but always think it was the biggest thing.
See, now as a grown adult, I realised that was just a cheap
dinner for the workforce. We were child.
Everybody's like, we'll get you a chippy.
But I love chippy with a reset in section I'm probably.
Oh, I love it. Love it.
It was brilliant. Do you know what I went for the
very first time? Friar Tux and Newry.
Oh wow, spot. Oh no, there's two of them in
the one time with different owners.

(01:07:44):
And there's one point fire talksas well.
I went, Aaron Butler took me there when we were doing Canal
Court and he said to me enjoy itand.
Yeah. Of course, what you're going to
get. Canal Court with it to see.
Oh yeah. Kennel cordon, right?
It was fire trucks was great. Yeah, I'm loving all these
chippies up here, but I'm going to, I'm going to give you some
feedback, guys. Chinese is in Northern Ireland,

(01:08:07):
not good enough? Really.
I'm sorry, but I do not rate your Chinese is here and I've
said it before and I'll say it again.
Disappointing. Yeah, Chinese game is not good.
Enough. He doesn't read Chinese and
Andrew Turtle, but you have anything you want to plug and
promote? No.
Q Radio on the one? Yeah.
Yeah, I just just listen to Daddy What's podcast on BBC.

(01:08:28):
Science. We'll put the.
Link on the Slag podcast on 3rd.Put the link in down below.
Please. Thank you.
Boys, thank you very much. Patron another call it for kill
Toddy. Patreon.com, So TV podcast, and
if you want to do Kill Toddy or you want to come and see it,
it's on the 13th of April. Can I say?
E-mail [e-mail].I just saw the artwork for it.

(01:08:51):
Nice picture. You know, you look well.
Thank you.