312. Who gives a F**K, Weight Loss and Blue Bloods!!!! with William Thompson

Sippers welcome! This week I'm joined by comedian and friend of the show Willy T.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Now that would have that would have done numbers if that had
gone. Absolutely.
Willie T is looking svelte. Oh, we started fine.
Yeah, but just now. Don't worry.
What you said 30 seconds ago will not be on the podcast.
Thank you God. Tell it again, I want to say

(00:20):
something. Willie T put up some progress
pictures. Do you know what I'm annoyed at
myself for? Not because I told myself I
wouldn't do that. I said I'll keep it to myself.
And then I took one and was like, all right.
Felt cute. My delete Yeah.
Yeah, now you look brilliant. Thank you.
It's entirely cheating, but I don't care.

(00:41):
Listen, I know you don't like compliments, but you look like a
wee cutie. You look jacked.
Thank you. You look.
Ripped. You look muscular, Dan said.
He was at the gym the other day.Said you were lifting
everything. Oh me and I went to the gym
yesterday and Don got the wet. This may have a breakdown
because I hadn't lifted in like 2 weeks.

(01:02):
And do you know that when you don't do exercise and then you
try to go back to the level you were out?
I could only bench 60 and I knewhow to fucking breakdown.
You've gone from unassuming guy you can't take a compliment just
doing his best to ah fuck man I just I'm only doing 5K's in 12
minutes here. Fuck shit.
I may take a hand break off nexttime.

(01:23):
Want to have a trailer just on the Mars in there 40 minutes.
Is that good? Is that good?
Probably not good. I'm just benching 60 here boys.
In the humble brag Thompson era and he's insufferable.
Yeah, people online thought it was annoying before.
Try me with self esteem. I'm fucking unbearable.
Yeah, I want to get that out of,you know.
Yeah, because I liked it a minute ago when you had it.

(01:44):
Now I've decided I don't like itwhen you have self esteem but
umm. But yeah people are saying if
it's not kneel down you'll lift it 100% in the gym like.
Absolutely ABS just bench and everything do you make?
We just like do do we? When you're like when you're
left and will you let out a no? I don't even breathe do I mean
everyone's like your breath works and.
Put Nah, don't breathe at all. Yeah, you do that.

(02:07):
You do that thing. About everyone who's nasty to me
in my life. That's definitely also your sex
face too, no? That's this.
No, it's there. Keep it up, brother.
It's actually this. Which one am I looking on here?

(02:31):
Boys, just want to say we shift the shift here.
Good game, good game. With arms.
My arms are damned. Oh my God, Modest.
It's like you've just played five aside with a bunch of guys
you've never met. Well done mate.
I was smashing like some finishing there.
Well done mate, appreciate it. You have some first touch on

(02:51):
your bra. Good luck.
Same time next week, £2 each, yeah.
With no bed so it's shirts and skins, no blasters.
As well does good to see him does Willie T feel good at the

(03:17):
minute yeah. Does he feel good because you
put a progress picture up? It takes, you know, there's
going to be a bit of abuse that comes with all that kind of
thing, but you're looking. Great.
Well, it's so wanky to do, I promise myself.
But it's so. But it isn't.
It isn't. Let's not pretend it's.
For you still that height? Yeah, it's not that wanky
because you're 51. Well be weird if the progress

(03:41):
picture was me at like 4 for 10 and then the next one I'm like
55. Right, we need separate.
Let me take a quick minute to tell you that this episode of
Tea With Me podcast is sponsoredby none other than that prize
guy. I'm talking about Ireland's
largest price. I don't if you put a face
philtre on me or whatever prize guy is is taking over the game

(04:04):
you go to, you watch any like boxing MMA match, the big ones
happening all over the world at the minute in Saudi or Dubai or
UK or Ireland price guys all over.
He is absolutely taking over Ireland's biggest price as say
and nothing's coming close. He's given away £125 million and

(04:24):
I'm talking huge prizes like millionaires at the make right
down. The things that they don't
release that many tickets for and they're like a couple of
pence, you know, like I like, I could go on right now and he's
probably giving away, you know, he's like there's an air fryer
for 4P if you want. He's giving away 2 Lamborghinis
for 99 PA ticket. Two Lamborghinis for 99 PA

(04:44):
ticket. That's what.
That's it. This is real life.
They've made 9 millionaires. No, there was one made just
recently. Yeah, about 10 days ago.
Yeah, eh. And if you go on that price
go.co.uk, you can see a list of what's going on.
But you've seen the logo everywhere.
All over, all over the. World also sponsoring the
charity Football Match. And pause very kindly that price

(05:06):
guy very kindly sponsor in the tea with me FC versus Premier
League Legends football match atSeaview the day after the live
podcast, which in association with Tommy Charity, which is
going to be great. That price guy.co.uk the link is
in the description also need to very quickly plug Patreon.
That's where you've got to go patreon.com/T me podcast link

(05:26):
also in the description loads ofspecials up there are two live
nights at the Waterfront Hall are up there.
You get the you get the bonus podcast, the goes out every
week. Live stream episode goes out
every week. We're about to film a lot of
stuff. It's all there. patreon.com/TV
Podcast Me and Welly ages ago, Idon't know how it started, but I
told Butler and a couple other people that Welly was going to

(05:51):
get like taller, like you were going to get surgery to have
your legs extended. Yeah.
We started telling our comedian friends.
Yeah. And I was telling them and I was
like, don't be mentioned at the Willy unless he brings it up to
you. But like Auntie even always like
fuck off. And I was like, mate, do not
bring it up to him because he's got his heart set on this and

(06:12):
he's having to get your legs broken.
Yeah, like every couple of months and they busy extend it.
And I remember saying the Butlerthink I was like, he's going to
like 6-2. And Butler's like, if you do
that, you're only supposed to add a couple of inches.
Butler knows. Butler, by the way, has looked
into. It any any procedure you
mentioned yeah, Butler will havea coat, a discount code for you,

(06:34):
all the background knowledge, the side effects and all that
you'll. Be like he's going to Saigon for
it. He's like, no, what's the wrong
need to go to Ethiopia? That's where the best doctor.
You go to Doctor Juan. Yeah, in Ethiopia, he's the guy.
That's the boy. Yeah, Doctor Juan.
But I love how Butler had knew more.
We said it as a joke. We didn't know it existed.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, Butler was like, no, that's the wrong way to do it.
So I said he's going. I was telling people I was like,

(06:55):
he's going, he's going 62, like,well, he's going to be 6, two,
Yeah. And they were like, but he'll be
all legs. And I was like, he just, that's
what he wants to do. Yeah.
We've we ever told them that's not happening?
I don't know, because I never let on that I knew that they
knew. I think no.
It would be a good time to startpushing it out again.
I. Think that would be a good time
to just get the surgery? Let's do it, Pedro.

(07:15):
Yeah, I love that. You're like, no, the only thing
we can do now is get it done fora laugh for the boys.
For banter and 6:00 to. 3 but you'd have such a small torso
and big long legs. I'm all torso.
Oh. German belt like a Goomba and
Mario. I'm just all torso with feet on
it, so you. Think if people saw you.

(07:38):
Is this a weird analogy? Say you were up to people can
only see you from the waist up. Like say you were in a bath.
Say you're in the bath. Well, he's just out of surgery.
We'll go see him in the bath. You're right when you said
that's a weird analogy. No, say say you're in a bath.
Say swimming. Yes, yeah.
And there's so much more normal than people seeing me in the

(08:00):
bath. There's no signs for the the
length of the pool, the height of the pool, the depth of the
pool. Yeah, don't get caught up.
You're right, tired time and. People see you, do you think?
What height do you think they would think you were just based
on seeing you above the waist? If they're just seeing me top
half mermaid, Yep they go that. The bottom half mermaid.

(08:22):
The bottom half mermaid is the. Top half mermaid, just normal.
Yep so that's all they're seeingthat's all they're seeing of me
yes top half mermaid right They would probably assume I'm like
this guy's like sex food and then they see my legs like
there's no. 1 yeah, I'd say 66162, yeah.

(08:42):
And then you see the bottom half.
And what height do you think I would be if you just see me
above the wave? Probably the same height.
Yeah, yeah, probably. You get matches, yeah. 59 same
height as you are now. So I love when guys are sex food
on the dot or in and around. Holy shit they get so annoyed if
you don't say sex food. Joe, it's funny, before we go
into this, when Kizi and Mick were on the pod last week and I

(09:06):
I said I'm done with the Ryan Reynolds beef.
And Kizi, I don't know if you saw the class because he doesn't
talk to anymore. Yeah.
And they were going back and forth about Deadpool and
whatever here would I be. And I'm just sitting there.
There was like quite a good few comments going like I'm tech
talk being like classic case of can give up but can't take it.
And like people being like, oh, he's so annoyed.
And there's nothing that I love more than replying to those

(09:27):
comments and being like, yeah, it was pretty mad.
You know, people just have no idea.
But the only thing that would genuinely annoy me is if you
were like, oh, she thought with 5-6.
Yeah, I always get told the opposite when I meet people in
person. They're like, I always assumed
you were like 6 foot. No, people who have only like,
seen me Mermaid I. Think no, but.

(09:48):
I mean, they see me in person. They're like, you're fucking
tiny. But who's only seen your mermaid
up, people. Only watch clips to them they're
only seeing Genie out of the lamp figure John there's no
legs. Then they're only seeing me like
this. Yes.
So they I always get to well, maybe not 6 foot, but they're
like they always thought I was taller than I was.
Yeah, and then they're you have the same when you first met me.
Yeah, because when you started doing stand up, I'd obviously

(10:12):
never met you in person when you're putting out like video
clips and stuff and then your profile picture was you playing
for Northern Ireland. So I was threatened by that
because I go he's obviously likean under 21 international.
Yeah, but I didn't unseen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I was like as soon as I saw yeah, it was my fears were a let
you know I was fine. Yeah, but I was like he's maybe
an under 21 international here, this big strap and six foot four

(10:33):
guy. You want to be the footballing
guy. I'll be the football comedy guy.
Yeah, football comedy, BBQ. You know what I like?
Yeah. I I like the idea that our
friends think you're getting that surgery.
Like that is funny to me. And can I can I give you a
compliment? Yeah.
And I like your hair at the minute.
I like that shorter hair. I like that.
Close to getting it just shaved.I think you should.
Go on, Full mantle, huh? Full shaved.

(10:56):
Why do? You have.
No, no, yeah, don't know because.
For the combo and I'm gonna be you start bringing an entourage
to the podcast. What loads of skinheads
entourage. It took you ages.
To say that because I forgot that word.
It took you like 12 minutes to say that.
Word. Yeah, I forgot how to say it.
We gotta start bringing skinheads long.
Just go go full combo. Yeah, and you're that you.

(11:17):
You'd be so nice to them. What do you mean?
Because you're just a polite man.
You think like a racist group. If I brought a racist group and
they were in the room like they're not on camera, yeah
sometimes you bring some guests on and they just have 5 mates
with them who just want to. Yes, yeah, yeah.
John, love you, man. Rolls deep.
Yeah, yeah. Quite malt in all senses.

(11:38):
Has food, so solid crew with himevery time.
You would do that if I brought racist skinheads and you'd be
like, right, let's just want biscuits or whatever.
So good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I believe in treating people the same.
Yeah, you know. They don't.
Weird. Yeah, that's true.
Would you get the hair done today?
No, no cuckoo. No, I have a wedding come up so

(12:00):
I don't want to shave it up off completely.
You're the groom. I'm the bride.
Yeah. We're like to do that these
days. No, I like wet.
I ain't a wee bit shorter than it is now, but I like that style
and get suit you. Yeah, Jordans, I've tried to
fight the smack look for so long.
I hate dressing like a smack andlook like it.
It's just what my belt is, right?
Even though I don't sound like it, I'm a smack at heart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate it.

(12:20):
Like you, you, you cut open yourheart and it's, it's, it's not
blue, which is actually what a lot of people don't know that,
but that's actually what colour blood is inside it is red.
It's get me a knife. No, Yeah, once it meets the
atmosphere, it goes red. Blood is blue.
Eh, no now. This is a time where I'm going

(12:43):
all in that I'm right, OK? Blood is blue inside your body
and then when it leaves your body it goes.
I feel someone has told you thatas a joke.
I'm not corrected you. Boys, what are we saying here,
Blue bloods? Ever heard of it?
Yeah, that meant the pure of blood.
Because blood is pure when it's inside you.

(13:04):
No. Blood blue.
Blood is always red, but the oxygenated blood before it picks
up some oxygen appears to be a darker, more maroon shade of
red. You're holding your hand like
he's proved you're right. Let me finish, dude.
Let me finish this sentence, thelast two words, not blue.
This is how I know he doesn't listen because you're like blood
is always red and you thank you.Down what websites are from?

(13:27):
Google it's. The light through your skin
news. Shut up, Tony.
Also, it's maroon. No, and even the most closer to
red than blue. I want to know who told you that
fact. Adam Levine.
He'd know. If I thought you're going to say

(13:47):
Lee Ryan. No, the male Adele.
I love Lee Ryan. I've said before to the boys,
one of the most gifted male vocalist of his generation, so
just couldn't sort his bonds outlike.
Cat shave in the head, then locks.
He's worse than me. Yeah, he's worse.
Simon Webb, contestant, shaved head the whole time.

(14:09):
Duncan James is snack. Duncan James is going.
Duncan James is. Here, you and Duncan James on a
night out user in the Holy Landsat a house party.
It's like 3 in the morning. No one else in the kitchen bar
you and him, and he just turns around and he goes, what's up?
What's happening here? Three of them.
The house party, Yeah, I mean, the fucking vegetable island.

(14:31):
And he's like, oh, what's happening here?
I'm not telling you what's happening here.
I'm dunking into you, all right?You're fucking telling me bro?
No, no, no breathing easy, yeah.100% Duncan James.
Yeah, Duncan James is. You ban Duncan James.

(14:51):
I didn't Asda. Absolutely Trolley my friend,
because Duncan James is do you know when you go out with like
your girlfriends, girlfriends and her friends and some of
their other. Listen to Willie as well.
Drops a bit of weight. You know when you're out with

(15:12):
the Harine, You know when. You're with your.
Girlfriends. No, but you know, mate, like
crazy. There's some people have had
girlfriends in this room, right?Married mom.
Yeah, but you know, when you're out with your girlfriends and
her friends and then she'll they'll bring their boyfriends
too. He's the one that you know I'm
threatened by you, right? You're fucking.
Because also I think Duncan James might be bi.

(15:34):
No. No.
Is he? Well, initially said that, but
that might have just been a gateway.
Just like he did one song with Elton John.
He's like I'm bi by. The way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And James came out as bisexual
in 2009 and later as gay in 2014.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we're in.
Yeah, yeah, one for the. That's what I mean.
The free rides he has to go. I mean, he's a threat to

(15:57):
everybody on that night out. Because he.
Could pull the girlfriend or theboyfriend because if he wants
to, he will he's. The gay, like the girls will
snog just for butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh fucking great, there's one that Anthony cost.
Is he still like, looking like afucking holiday Rep?
No, careful, because that's someone you're you're not a hot.

(16:18):
No, I'm not slagging. No, but what I'm saying is
you're not 1,000,000 miles away from an Anthony Costa vibe
yourself. Anthony cost the kind of.
Nearly Anthony Nero. Yeah, well, how can I just look
corporate handsome? Do.

(16:38):
You know what I mean? Does he look like the guy?
In an or just Duncan James is rugged, handsome.
Yeah. But what I'm saying is, does
Anthony Costa look like a guy ifhe worked in a generic nine to
five office and they were doing like a photo shoot for the
website of the company, they would probably go to him and go,
will you be in this? Yes, 100% no.
That's what he looks like. Let's talk about.

(17:01):
I want you to mention some guys and people can just throw out
guys, celebrity guys, well knownguys, and I will tell you
whether because I can hundred, Ican look at a guy and go, that's
a beautiful man right there. That's a hot man.
So give me people and I'll tell you man, and I'll tell you
whether I think they're hot or not.
And this a new feature hot. Or hot or not, Gordon Ramsay,

(17:26):
and we're taking everything in their account, not just how he
looks. I've got to say hot because of
the confidence he has in himself.
Used to play for Rangers, According to him.
So he's he's an athletic. Yeah, but no, I just mean the
way he walks into your room. I go hot, man.
Yeah, hot. So hot I'm.
Saying walks and he's shouting at everybody.

(17:47):
Yeah, yeah. Hot, hot Stephen Mulhorn.
Who? Stephen Mulhorn 2.
Different guys. You just mentioned Stephen
Maher. Stephen Mulhorn is right.
I, he gets a lot of criticism and I don't want to kind of jump
on board with that, eh, But absolutely for me, absolutely

(18:13):
not hot at all. No, far too manicured and
polished. And you want to talk about a
corporate guy? That's a corporate guy right
there. Nothing about that man he hosts.
I think you'd have an action mannub.
Yeah, I feel like game shows he hosts, you would host, you know
what I mean? Like Bradley Walsh can't do it.

(18:34):
Vernon Kay's busy. Stephen Mulhern.
We need a musical guest. Anthony Costa can't do it.
Yeah. So it's me and you.
Yeah, me. Yeah, 100%.
Separate, let me tell you that this episode of the Tea With Me
podcast you're getting in here, it's sponsored by none other
than our friends at Nord VPN. VPN means a virtual private

(18:56):
network and Nord are top of the pops when it comes to that.
I just did my tour in America and Canada.
When I was out there I wanted towatch 2 football matches.
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(19:17):
I watched an Irish League match and I watched the League Cup
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(19:39):
guarantee. The link is in the description
you sent a Moharn from. I didn't.
See you hosting a 2:00 ITV game show.
You know what I mean? I'm with an overly complicated
premise, like, oh, you got a question, right?
You step onto the board. If you're under the board, you
get to spend the way. You get to spend the way.
Then you get another question, See if you win money.
Yeah, I could see you hosting that.

(20:00):
Yeah, I could see you could be. You'd be a great game show host.
I think I could be if I wanted to, but I wouldn't want to.
No you wouldn't. ITV come to you.
They're like Bradley Walsh. No, no, no, right has been no
role play. Role play.
OK, right. So we're in the ITV Commission
room, right? The front, Yeah.
And you don't know what for? And they go listen, we're
getting rid. Of Have you paid my travel?

(20:20):
Yeah, paid your travel. But you've told, but you can't
tell me why I'm here. Can't tell you why you're here.
It's top secret. We're getting rid of Bradley
Walsh. We've heard some rumours about
him that we don't like. What?
What a dear. Apparently goes in the Tesco,
yeah. Guess it.
Let's not good, James. Gets the gets the meat from the

(20:40):
meat I lex it puts it back right.
We'll find this out about them. We don't.
Like knowing me, I don't really see anything wrong.
With it, I know you wouldn't. So you have to keep that under
your heart already. So he goes and he's he's
snogging steaks and putting themback as we steak snogger.
So we're getting rid of him because that's going to that's
front page of the sun tomorrow. We need a new guy to front the
chase, right. You interested?

(21:03):
I'm not not interested, but whatdoes it look like commitment
wise? Do I, how much of my year is
that going to take up? I I'm not moving over here to do
it. You're not moving because here's
the time you. Shoot in Belfast so some people
that won't be a problem. So that that is, if you were

(21:24):
being asked to host the chase, that would be something that ask
you that say you can stay where you are and we'll pay you in
Northern Ireland wage. If you want to take a wee step
closer to us, there's an extra 20 grand in the pot.
That's a phenomenal chase joke that no one got.
Would suck my Dick. Would you do it?
How much? 120 grand a year.

(21:46):
Right. How long the year do you need
me? We fell them for three months
out of the year. That's continuous.
No, no, no, you wouldn't do it. You could could ripple your
offer. No you you wouldn't host the
Chase for half £1,000,000. So would I see hosting the Chase
is a great opportunity and actually, actually fun and

(22:08):
something I'd enjoy? Probably.
But you're talking about 1/4 of the year.
Yeah, and I'm going to have to be away from my boys and not in
their lives. Bonus it's great for 10 years
for fuck all. Maybe he's playing a game show.
Stay out of Willy's life. My dad's hosting Wheel of
Fortune and Taiwan. The difference is there,

(22:32):
someone's just stropped it. No, I'm not missing 1/4 of the
year my boy's life. No, not at all.
Come over to bring the lads overweekends with daddy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, not at this point.
Not at this point of I'm. I've never enjoyed more what I'm

(22:54):
doing. Yeah, so I and and there's
exciting things happening. We have a meeting.
Yesterday we did have a meeting.Yesterday it was exciting.
It was. It was very exciting.
I'd. Rather do.
That than host the chase OK. At the minute.
Right, because also like have a new.
Chaser coming in. Who's Duncan James who don't get
it's. Not Duncan James.
Who's Twinkie? Karen Bartlett's the new chaser.

(23:17):
Would you do it? Then You get to hang out with
your friends. But that doesn't that I can't
pick hanging out with him over neglecting my kids.
I was not neglecting to go away for work, but if it's a choice I
have of doing work here for you're turning an offer.
To host The Chase and just Eminem's Mockingbird here, Daddy

(23:41):
had to work. Your Mama didn't see me.
That you started seeing Daddy onthe TV.
On the TV, like on the capital of France's.
I am No, no, no thanks. No.
And the line. It might be something I'd love
to do. I also look at you walk away
from this. Table you're dead to ITV.
You say goodbye, you'll never beon the mask.

(24:02):
Singer Dancing on Ice. Goodbye.
I don't. Want to do that?
Soccer it. You never do soccer it.
I can't now. Say I want to do it because that
then if my boys grow up and watch this, they'll go Or daddy
want to play football with Roberto Carlos.
Overwatch us grow up. And you know what?
Sometimes the truth hurts. Yeah, Daddy left us to go play

(24:23):
football. Fucking Emil, Heskey and Jamie
fix them I'd love. That it's Daddy Ronaldinho and
Johnny Vaughn. Daddy.
Daddy's new friends, the man from the go.

(24:44):
Compare ads in Kaka. Daddy.
'S bench centre midfield StephenMahorn Oh boy, daddy, said the.
5050 on Frank Skinner. Do you want the heat?

(25:07):
That's what I've met. Lovely man.
Was he? Yeah.
Weirdly. Very small, really a little bit
taller than me. Like freaked me.
I'm not that at all. Yeah, I was.
I was a big fan of Frank Skinner.
Grown up. Yep, Skinner and.
Bedale yeah, kind of the OG podcast where they just said on
the sofa, well, that was world. Cup or another World Cup?
You're 96. Yeah, which?

(25:28):
Was the first tournament. I remember World Cup 94 being
on, but I never sat down and watched any of it.
Yeah, and I but I remember you're 96.
I remember the build up to it, remember watching all the games
on TV. 3 lands on a shirt was the big song of that summer.
I don't you gotta hand it to them, but it you gotta hand it
to them. That's a tune.

(25:49):
Yeah. Umm.
And then every night they had that show.
What was it called from? Was a fancy football was.
One that was on before, like you're an 8/6.
It was on all the time, I think.Oh, So what?
Was their work? What was their year 96 show
called? You don't remember?
Umm, but it was every night to think they have the tournament
they would do. And then they went after Jason
Lee. Do you remember not in Forest
striker papering. I'm not fantasy.

(26:10):
Football. I'm not even fantasy football,
not even a deck. I was not born, so I don't
remember this. What?
You've been what? You've been rude.
Not being rude, I don't. Remember.
No, just. On account of me not existing,
don't remember it and they. Went they like used to like
roast this guy I play for not inforest.
It's called Jason Lee and he hadlike dreads kind of tied up and

(26:34):
them they used to, they call them Pineapple head.
That a song that there was a pineapple.
Head song and stuff. And he was a bit like a bit like
Craig David was a bull selector.I'm fine with that it properly.
Fucked them for a long time but they I think they've since
apologised but it was like. Yeah, it's proper blackface, not

(26:55):
the deal. Yeah.
But that's not where that's from.
But he'll dressed. Up with someone.
On I think there's a point whereSkinner walks behind them and
takes a drink out of one of the dreadlocks and he's like, he's
got a pineapple on his head. I don't feel lots.
As bad as food blackface, no. But he's been adult.
But they're both Oh shit, so he.Went up to David Bedale who was

(27:15):
Oh my God BFDB. Blackface David Bedale.
I've been kind of weird too, because Bedale gets on people's
cases for like, anti-Semitism incomedy, and you're like, oh,
you're kind of you did for the reason.
You did a burp. I was nearly.
Sick. Yeah.
You're how I bother me. I was nearly sick.

(27:36):
No. Is that a wee manjar Manjaro?
Manjaro came back then or. Manjaro.
Manjaro. Right, it was, it was weird.
Is that still giving you? Those 3 burps, yeah, I'm going
down and those. Is what I'm on right now is
fucking way too strong. Fucking me up bro.
Do you sort of? Pick the dosage you kind.
Of go up, educate, a guess or. You're meant to go.
Up on how you fail. So if you start to feel it get

(27:57):
less effective, you go up. And I've been kind of doing two
months on each dose and then this one, I went up there and
it's fucked me up. You say you go too early.
Will you not go back there again?
You'll stay down the one, level down.
I might just say the one. Level down or whatever you're
doing is. Working I feel lots.
My love, because at this point Iactually can't be.
I've went too far. What are?
You give me a noticeable difference of something that is

(28:20):
like no bother. Do you know that, say, six
months ago would have been a bitof a nightmare?
My knees aren't the sore. Right.
Yeah, like tying. My shoes, I think it's Bobby
Kelly has a great joke where he goes fat guys, if you look,
their shoes are always tied off to the side because they can't
reach over their belly to tie them in the middle right.

(28:41):
And I didn't real until I started losing.
That is the thing now, like I can tie my shoes properly,
right, because that's if you're a fat lad, you're you will get
out of breath tying your shoes, not because it's strenuous
because your necks cutting off your flow of breathing because
you're next in the way series and then you get your time, your

(29:01):
shoes. You get up there, Jesus even
like. Come just coming back from being
on a bit of a tour there before you would have physically seen
that on you yeah, if you've beenaway in any sort of trip and you
look about obviously seven suit rock sacks, I come back like
I'm. Just out of Afghanistan.
I'm fucked. You do.
And now you wouldn't know you'vebeen away.
I kind of. Also I take that day after the

(29:24):
rest where before I become back straight into it where I'm like
I just need it even if it's like5 days.
I'm like just flying and constantly and trains and shit.
It does fuck you up. Yeah do you know what I mean?
Not use your freaking nature butmost people it fucks up.
What the what kind? Of trains.
Fucking Scout Rail and who else?Yeah, me and Jordy running

(29:49):
gangbangs are playing Pokémon Boys.
I'm Scott. Deal.
I thought that was you doing. Jordy.
Hey, Scott, have you ever been to a Schwitz?
I'm Jordan Robinson. Yeah, well, what was that about?
We just read in a Stag. This is so Geordie phenomenal
comic if the I know he's been onthe year before, but Geordie did

(30:10):
my. Whole art enter and kill them
and fucking great so I. Was like we need a weekend, a
jolly boys out. Yeah, the boys.
Just go, they have fun, they do Jolly boys out, jolly boys out
right. Go be some wee jolly boys out
somewhere, right? And we'll go and do that and
we'll go somewhere just on like a fucking large trip.
We'll go have some fun. And I was like, let's go to

(30:31):
fucking Amsterdam, maybe even Benidorm somewhere silly.
Let's have fun, enjoyment. Oh yeah man, can we go to
Auschwitz? I was like, you're not getting
the tone of what I'm trying to do here.
I'm trying to go, oh lads, we'renot having enough fun.
We're all to work based. Let's go to the death camp.

(30:53):
He's like, no, but there's loadsof bars around it.
I'm like, I'm not doing shots ofSambuca, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I'll take a shot every time someone says 6,000,000
dead. I'm not doing that.
That's fucking melt. They're not doing a rave cave in
the shore. I'm not.
I'm like, you're not getting what I'm going for.
Yeah. Mama thought a perfect like stag

(31:15):
thing would be silent disco. By mistake, a conga line starts
going through the camp and you're like no boy, like move it
off. Move it.
Off site if you're going to do it, yeah.
Jolly boys aren't nice. And the mom is so serious.
You ever seen the Jolly Boys? And only foods and horses
episode I have. Brilliant to go to market.
I think yeah, it's brilliant. I love.
Only friends. And so, yeah, I think we could.

(31:35):
Remember when we were on? What am I saying?
No, just watch it while you. Can.
Oh. Bush, Bush, Bush, why?
Don't know, Just think it's one of those things won't age well,
right? Do you know what I?
Mean, yeah, I think I'm going topay to a younger audience.
I just don't think it will. Stuff coming out, I don't know.

(32:00):
I don't know, I've been saying. This for a long time.
I don't know what I've been. Saying for a long time, it's
almost like they're going. To wait, yeah.
Who knows? Who knows?
Who knows what I'm trying to say?
Dead man Keep No. Secrets there's other pirates
of. The Caribbean.
When you wish upon A star. Have you seen my impression?

(32:22):
Of the guy the like bad guy fromPirates of the Caribbean
Barbosa. I don't.
Know you'll know who I'm going to do this.
What do you think? It's a very good.
Davy Jones. Yeah, Davy Jones.

(32:47):
That's the silliest fucking. Thing I've ever seen and I love
that. No facial.
Expression. What did you go on your I showed
the kids? Parties, leisure centres.
Amy Jones to get Pirates of Caribbean just for an hour.
It's just £55 MIT. Happy birthday, birthday.
That looks like you and Scott Real.

(33:10):
Oh. That's too much.
All right, Fucking the noise. I don't actually do that noise.
What? Noise did it's more muffled.
It's. More like where did you go on
your stag? My look.
Really. Yeah, I could not picture you

(33:32):
and I both could and couldn't picture you and Magaluf, right?
Pick one because you have the look.
That's my game show. On ITV during the day, pick one,
picture me in places and you. Picture me and Michael I.
Thought The Cave was going to. Be pick one that you got 2
ground or three ground. Pick 1-2 ground wrong you lose.

(33:53):
He never explained the rules at all.
Number of my, whole my. My back pick with Sam.
These count is double. These.

(34:15):
Yeah, Michael, it was good. What clubs she go to?
Do you see any DJs at the fucking?
Tennis Club, they're going to see any DJ, one DJ.
If I'm doing a trip like that, there'll be one nightclub night
and at that I'll not be there for that long, right?
So in fact, for mine, would we make the mistake of the two

(34:36):
times have been the Magaluf of going to the nightclub on the
last night. No, you have the first, the last
night to write. I know that now, yeah.
But on mine went to see DJ Sammyand it was great because it was
just before the season was or after the end of the season.
So there was not that many people there, which suited us
because the big pack club at ourage just wouldn't have been what

(34:57):
we wanted. And their DJ Sammy was on stage
and they're not many people there.
So I was like near the front andI was like Sammy and he's like
DJ and whatever. And I was like, no, Sammy and I
was like, boys, we don't leave until I get like a handshake
from Sammy or something Sammy and there's a video we could put

(35:17):
in the ball. But I berated that man for about
an hour and a half and eventually I'm recording like in
selfie when I make Sammy Sammy and.
Eventually. He turned around and he
obviously thinks someone's goingto attack him.
And he turned around. And then I just go.
Sammy, shake my hand. And he shakes my hand.
He didn't record, so I had to goback.

(35:41):
So am I again. And he did.
We've got the video. What?
Yeah. It sounded like a woman who'd
been dumped at a bonfire. See when I went.
To Magloof, it was like leaving school.
No way y'all go on holiday like lot.
Like lot, they're not many friends.

(36:02):
Good. Cutting them out.
Shock. Also didn't stay under the end.
Right. OK, so.
Well, I did. So we went to Magloo for too
long, right? 13.
Days, yeah. Way too long.
Three nights is. Perfect fucking you take Vegas
way too. Far I hated all of them by the
most. It like loads them still don't

(36:22):
speak to each other. It was way too long to be in
that kind of environment. We went to see Steve A OK,
Sebastian and Grasso, Hardwell, Devlin and a few other ones.
But fucking terrifying. Yeah, but they give me one of my
favourite moments of my life ever.
There's no way you're walking down the street and then we shot
guards come out. Really.

(36:43):
Are you coming in to fucking Benny's?
Yeah. Yeah, you get 4 boys.
Yeah, you for chicken. I might see you in there.
Yeah, right. These.
Mediaeval chimney. Sweet boys, soya.
You coming in, coming in to be kicked for a flag in the mail,
Couple of parts. Gentlemen walking down the
strip. You a couple of points and a lot

(37:08):
of chicken morning the only madefor all.
Made for all boys. It was mediaeval shotguns and
come on, be like, come into the club boys.
Coming into honey's. Yeah, one of our friends.
I know one stand up doesn't workout for you.
That's where I'll find you. We wig on though.

(37:30):
Oh boy, is he coming. In you keep your shot.
Oh, you look good. You look like you like it's on.
Yeah, right. One of our friends had had a bit
too much to drink. We walked on Sweet.
You see, seven days in the Magaluf.
It's like fucking Vietnam at that point.
They're like, oh, you're coming here.
Fuck off, right? So we had walked on, we noticed
one of our friends wasn't behindus.

(37:52):
Turns out what he had done in his drunken state when they came
over to offer us, you know, coming in for a few pints,
whatever may have pinched her onthe bum wrong, shouldn't do
that. What I learned is you never do
that, not just for the moral reasons.
They don't like it. So why he wasn't behind us is
after he had pinched her horse, she had grabbed him by the

(38:14):
throat. I've just like eight other
shockers poured out of the bars and started kicking the fuck
shit. She sounded the horn.
Like she did. She like she was like he grabbed
me pervert and loads and came over.

(38:35):
You know, we dirty bastard, they'll pour it out.
We're like fucking slap them, grab them by the deck.
I'll be like, how do you think? So we didn't see any of this.
We just turned around to hear him going.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's just getting jumped by
shotguns. Beat the fuck out of them.
Yeah. That's why you don't stay.

(38:57):
Yeah, many nights. But that's also.
Why don't be a wee pervert, yeah?
Yeah, but the best. Side of my life shot in the
sweet market is fuck knocked in it probably looked.
Like an experience he'd paid for.
Yeah, you know, our mate John just kept going.
And not like, you know, the big thing the fires up in the air,
the. Slingshot.
Yeah, he kept he. Kept going on that like multiple

(39:20):
on his own stag multiple times people were like, are we in the
strip clubs or whatever? No, this man spent his money on
the slingshot, which sounds likea sex thing.
Yeah, but it's just him on the slingshot.
Just he. Just kept he just.
He kept having him and Tony's brother and he kept having more
goals to the point where they were pairing him up with people
he never met because they were like, it's mates, don't want to
do it anymore. He's like, I'll go anyone, I'll

(39:40):
pay for it. Many times you're back and he
did it. If you have to put a number on,
he spent longer in. Space in that man and woman
bridges. I there is a word you see the.
Internet so bitch easy when theybrought those astronauts down as
they got stuck in space and thatwoman like obviously fucking
can't dye her hair and stuff up there and they're like oh she
looks rough now does she after ayear in space no I.

(40:05):
Off of the Internet is once theylanded someone started to go
fund me to send them back up. And it has multiple.
Thousands on them. I hate to be stuck in space.
I don't. Think anyone would love it?
I always say love for no outweigh dog.
What's it like? Rather dog like.

(40:25):
I don't think it was Lycra, but it's Lina.
Like like. In the dog, like, yeah, they
just blasted a dog up the space and yeah, oh, let's.
Save something in 11 space and then you're just in space.
Like what per wee dog? I know, per wee Soviet bastard
it's like. You know, like Houston got a
problem and big step for market.You know, the last word with

(40:47):
with imagine, imagine here in, out.
Yeah, I could see someone. Let not fucking dog.
It I could see. Scratching on the microphone.
I could see the Saudis. Paying you the right amount of
money, starting a space programme and being like looked
5050 here, but we're just sending you up.

(41:09):
I could see you being the guy ifyou sent me up.
With the right things, that's what I want.
So so. I'm writing the list.
I work for NASA, right? And I go, what?
What do you want up there? We can't guarantee you
everything we can get on the list, but what are you looking
up there? Bear and I will have
communication for you up there. Not even necessary.
No, but we'll need. To be speaking to you, no, but

(41:32):
OK, I will have it might not answer.
We'll have first aid. Yeah, up there wasn't even top.
5 of what I was thinking about. We'll have sustenance.
Crisps. OK, OK, So what do you need
PlayStation with? A Wi-Fi connection.
Right, right. We've got Starlink.
Yeah, Yeah. That's what.
I want right, want Wi-Fi on the spaceship, just on PlayStation
with the boys. And they're like, oh, it doesn't

(41:54):
work today. Brutal.
I'm like, I'm in space. Lots.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Much, yeah.
Crisps, PlayStation loaded drinkies, few wee drinkie poos.
I mean, we, we bag of smoke. I don't touch it these days, but
just in case, I feel like it, right?
A bag of green, some wee crappies, some chocolates.
A couple of books. Yeah.

(42:15):
Now I wonder, are you constantlyon camera there?
I wonder if I'd give a fuck. Yeah, I'm the only.
I'm the first calm girl in space.

(42:36):
The TuneIn after two days in my spaceship, looks like just a
jar. Sea Monkeys.
Semen monkeys. Yeah, we semen monkey.
Oh, how dare. You are like.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you'd be like Barry
Kim. Not bath like I've never seen
lap on it all up. I've never seen that there.

(42:57):
I just know there's a scene where he's he's in the bath,
like he's not the whole scene. He's in the bath, he's drinking
somebody. 'S bath water at the end of a
bath. Dirty bastard fucking movies.
I know I. Haven't seen it because it seems
like it's too weird. It's all those movies.
It's. Like it's so brave and yes,
daring. And you're like, it's two hours
of a company and weird murder onthe dance floor.

(43:19):
Fucking. I don't know the premise.
But I bet you and they. Don't know what those we RT
movies do but it's. Weird.
You're right. It's weird.
Always buck on a grave in it. Oh, big deal.
Who hasn't? Yeah.
Oh, but. No, but it's symbolism for, you
know, he's the wee boy in the loneliness.
In. Ireland of what?
That. They always.
Do shit like that. It's like, yes, he does fuck a

(43:39):
grave, but it's a metaphor for meal loneliness in Ireland, you
know, that was improvised. That wasn't in the script
really. So there's no point where they
go. Yes, we've given you a bit of
freedom of this role, but maybe don't buck the grave.
John, what do you know of any famous movie scenes that are
improvised? Do you know?

(44:01):
That not one of my favourite scenes.
That's improvised as the end of Goodfellas, Johnny walks into
the room and he thinks he's getting made and he goes Oh no.
And then they shoot him in the head.
Yeah, it was improvised. They actually just shot him in
the head. Brilliant.
But I wouldn't have think of doing that.
But really, I wouldn't think of doing.

(44:22):
That wouldn't think of doing that.
Umm, yeah, there must be. I like it in movies where
they'll be like the actor doesn't know that thing is going
to happen. But the other actors usually not
totally improvised like in when the Chicks of Barley Kelly
Murphy is is Oh no, there's a scene.
It's Kelly Murphy even in that scene where the woman finds out
that her husband or son is dead,right, But she didn't know that

(44:46):
that was going to be happening. So he, I think it is kind of the
last scene he. Comes to deliver the.
News to her. Yeah.
And she fucking hits him and stuff like he's just pinched or
he like dies. And then it's the other guy has
to deliver the letter. Write your letters, Damian.
You're right. You're right.
Delusions of grandeur. Yeah, you're right.
And then he. Gets on his back and she, like,
chase them. He falls off lots.
We bet Fully, yeah. I.

(45:10):
I like stuff like that. Movies where they just, they
just do it, Yeah. That's a great movie.
When shakes the body. Brilliant.
Do I mean absolutely? I like I.
Watch it being like fucking haveyou seen any movies?
Recently. Because you still go to the
cinema, right? Yeah.
Not as much as a shit. There's not much going on.
I would like to go more, but there's just not much.
Do you have like a? Pass Yeah. 10:10 or a month you

(45:31):
can go unlimited movies. For just how genuine you were
there, it was really funny. It's my face for old bro.
Why? Why would you not pay?
For ten a month unlimited. Movies Popcorn not included so.
Because the popcorn now cost more than the fucking right.
Because here's here's. Probably cost more more than a

(45:52):
small total of popcorn. Cost more than a bunch of the
fucking movie Avatar two year. Wouldn't it cost as much every
kid? Usually get the popcorn, you got
the drink, you got a wee bag sweeties for £1.50 P.
They paid you. Oh, shake me, me and the two
kids. Much to all the cinema. 10 grand

(46:12):
and got an error. You should have paid that much.
10 grand a minute. A minute.
Shook No, but yeah. It's 10 grand the movie.
No, it's £10 unlimited movies. Fucking great.
But see, But you, if you go to send, I could imagine you being

(46:32):
in the cinema. You can imagine me being in the
centre, wouldn't imagine you'd be in the.
Cinema. No, because there's other people
there and that bothers you phenomenally.
You. You.
Will get annoyed at other peoplejust living their lives in the
same room as you. It takes nothing for.
Something, someone to be doing, something that will wreck the
whole experience of me being there.
One guy will go. At the start, you're gonna

(46:52):
fucking selfish. Bastard.
Yeah, you. You are that guy.
But if you would go right, what's your sweeties?
Do you have your sweeties when you go to the cinema?
Right, I don't mind saying. This, and I don't know by law
what we can say here, but I havesnuck little cans of beer in
this cinema before. Don't think I haven't.
Fuck. You're crazy, man.

(47:14):
You're like ask a bar, you smuggler and I.
Have brought in pizza before, not a food pizza.
Butler brought a food pizza in the cinema by the way.
You don't need to. Smuggle things in.
You're allowed to bring things in.
Not a food pizza. There would be something in the
room. You can't, you could not, you're
allowed. You couldn't walk in with a full
18 inch pizza into a cinema. They'd say something.

(47:34):
I'd get it. He broke it up in the sections,
tinfoiled it and put it up his backwards.
Oh, slice of back pizza and hereyou.
Which is something that I. Say to Duncan Chin, you don't
want to know how. You got his bag, Mark.
You can't bring for. You're like, just bring shit in.

(47:54):
Yeah, but there's a. Limit.
There's not. There's not the rule, is there?
Or it isn't. It's Schrodinger's rule.
It's either, it exists. Do you think I even?
Nearly know what that means. Schrodinger's.
Schrodinger's. Pizza.
It either exists. Schrodinger sounds like a great
wee pizza spot. It's also.
Not wrong guys, you got to try. In the Lisburn Rd we stopped in

(48:14):
a Schrodinger's Pizza Belfast. News Hidden Jam.
Schrodinger's. Pizza.
He gave a box and the. Pizza is.
The pizza is either in it or it isn't at all times.
Yeah, that's Schrodinger's pizza.
It's Ethiopian. Irish fusion Pizza.
Schrodinger's. I will.
Here's my ideal setup. Hit that.

(48:37):
Can of Coke, No. Can of Doctor Pepper.
Right? Right.
OK. Can of Doctor Pepper.
A banana, right? Oh, you're having a fun?
Time. If you don't think bananas are
fun, you're mental. Can of Doctor Pepper a banana.
Maybe some gluten free hobnobs like 4.

(49:00):
You fucking fart slot. And oh, and a vegan borrowed
Dairy Milk almond. Fuck.
Me. You don't live like let me tell
you what you do in the cinema. Large popcorn mixed for that
sweet unsalted combination. Right?

(49:21):
Wee bag of gummy sweets, wine, gums or Haribo just to break it
up. Font the frozen font or Tango
Waste Blast on a bag of either Menstruals or yellow M&M's.
Now here's what you do with these.
You get that back, put them in your popcorn.
You put them in the first guy that's done that, you shake.
No life hack will eat here. No, not life hack.

(49:42):
I'm telling you how to fucking have a good time.
Instead of having four biscuits.You shake that up, you and then
you fuck you fuck your face and.You stuff your.
Face like it's your last meal and a movie happens in the do
they not all fall to. The bottom the menstruals being
a lot heavier than the popcorn. No, because the.
Popcorn is quite dense now. What that is falls through a

(50:02):
little bit like a gamer could plunk.
So you get it through through the whole time and then you have
your gummies just for a bit of an enjoyment I like.
The idea of like fanciers like Out Ave Cinema where you could
have a meal watching the film, what I just remember.
The first time I went to that, by the way, don't get annoyed
I'm laughing on a comedy podcast.
The correct. Yeah.

(50:24):
What? What are you fucking smirking
up? We're transitioning away.
From comedy on this podcast, I went.
To we're talking more about. Schuingers Law.
Schrodinger is that that we thing whether we.
Metal balls and you throw it like that and it goes.
That's a Newtons cradle. That was.
A wrestling move. The rule of.
Schrodinger, by the way, It's sostupid, but Schrodinger's Law is

(50:46):
genuinely this, isn't it? He has a caught in a box and
Schrodinger's Law means that youcan't loves dog.
Right, different. Thing you can't see inside the
box Who wins in a fight. During a scatter Pablo's dog.
It depends on what. State Schrodinger's cats in
because you can't see inside thebox, so you don't know if the
cat is dead or alive. So therefore you must assume the
cat is both dead and alive at all times because you can't

(51:09):
prove either or. Depends on what's been in.
There for all soon. Don't assume makes an asshole.
Does that break shooting? Is that correct them close
enough? Yeah.
I think if you open the box the cat dies.
Huh. Does it think that's what
fucking saw Trump of a box if weput this card in?
But what is it? What does?
This prove why are people doing oh shooting is guys brilliant.

(51:34):
He's got this theory. What does that prove?
You must assume the card is deadon the life.
What are you talking about? What's this Pavlov's dog thing
too? What is Pavlov's?
Dogs that like what's the rule on this?
What's all this? The theory of relativity means
This and this. Who's right?
OK. And their?
Relativity is genuine fact. That's all if you're sitting.
On a train and it goes past people stand the train sub your

(51:56):
perception of times different than their perception time yeah
and then at the end out who gives a fuck about who gives a
fuck about what? What is that?
What are you planning that to that helps before you go?
What do you plan not to? Transport mate, what do you?
Mean. What do you mean?
What do you mean? When you apply at the transport.
What do you mean? Oh, we're better.
Oh, I'm getting the train here from Derry to Belfast.

(52:18):
I must ponder the theory of relativity.
No, you don't ponder. Your tab someone else.
Your tab someone else has pondered it.
That's why trains can move quickly.
Huh. Yeah, they.
Move. Fast because of coal, you
fucking idiot. Oh, sorry someone.
That's you think someone just fucked coal in a train.
Just hit a train with some coal relativity you.

(52:39):
Have to do? I don't know because I.
Don't know what the theory is? Here's the terrible relativity.
I'm sitting on a train. I'm pulling up to a stop.
There's people standing there. They think the train's going
faster than it is. I or I think it's going to a
certain speed because I'm I, I'll tell you.
Well, you think, right? Do you ever be in a car and you
go, fuck, I don't even feel likeI'm driving fast and you look

(53:01):
down 97. Yeah.
They're relative, so. Why?
That's why when you. But if you stand on.
The on the pavement that goes past you this close, you're
going to be like, that's about 700 minor, Yeah.
So why is it different? When you're inside the vehicles
to outside the vehicle, why you're not inside relativity?
Yes, that. Explains why, but why the fuck?
But who gives a fuck, I'm in thecar or if he's there.

(53:23):
No, if that didn't exist you wouldn't be curious at all why
everything is a blur but you don't feel you're going that
fast. But.
I'm in the car. I'm accepting that because I'm
in it, it probably feels like I'm going slower and someone
else is like I I thought you drove past you going about 100
mile or no, I was going 30 but but there but why we're both
going to go the theory of relatively relatively.

(53:46):
High 5 theory relatively is the the theory of relativity is the
answers to that to that question.
I'm not. Asking a question, I know you.
Ask no question, man. Why did?
That feel different for you thanit did for me.
I know say it with me the theoryof relativity.
That's a. That's why they slogan.
They slogan at the end because the theory.

(54:07):
Of relativity. So magic.
It's making us do all these things.
Do you? Think that's interesting, that
difference. MG Squared.
Oh, thank you, Einstein. Now my life will be all right.
That's important. That's an important equation for
a while, what have you. Ever taken out of school that
you applied everyday life? What?
Have I ever taken out of school?Yeah.

(54:27):
Oh. Now I know about this Plato, how
to fucking misspell. Thanks miss.
I know about plateaus. Now where?
He's Plato. He's A.
Philosopher. No, you.
It's my Don't you sit there. Don't you?
Sit there and act like you ever did philosophy.
I didn't do philosophy. I also don't act like that, but
I know it now. No, you don't.
Yeah. What they?
Mean one thing, Plato. Shit, Plato.

(54:50):
Ah. Now, do you know why?
You didn't know because I didn'ttake it either.
No. I know that it's Plato, but over
there you see it as plateau because we're sitting in
different seats. And what is it?
The theory of relative? Because I said I.
Said I said plateau. As to why a graph doesn't go up
or down for a sustained period of time, that's a plateau.
You've plateaued. Your career has plateaued in the

(55:13):
last five minutes when you votedyourself as a fucking idiot.
I am. Openly.
An idiot. You should be applying.
More I wonder what I'm going to have for lunch here.
Maybe I need to apply my area ofrelative.
My argument was you. Went you learn to feel like this
food. 'S taken ages.
I feel like we ordered this food40 minutes ago.
It was actually 12 minutes. The theory of relativity high
fives my argument. Was you said you don't learn

(55:34):
anything in school and you know what you sounded like when you
said that? That stupid cunt you see before
everyone gets their exam resultsgoing.
Well Bill Gates never went to university.
Bill Gates is a multi billionaire.
You eat robbers in class. There is a difference you thick
cunt. Yeah oh Jeremy Clarkson, so said
exams for stupid. He was fucking rich before.

(55:55):
All right? Things do matter.
Learning things is important. Yeah, Because if we didn't learn
things, we'd all just be fuckingeating dirt.
Yeah. All right.
You're not. You're not better because you
don't know things. You're better because you know.
The theory of relativity. I don't know the theory.
Of relativity we've I've just. Told you, yeah, but I don't
trust you. Also said blood's blue, so I

(56:18):
don't trust you on academic matters.
You should I. Don't.
More don't every fact you've given me have been wrong in your
life. We're talking.
About the atoms and protons here.
Oh cheers Sir, I'm a stand up comedian.
Thank you for wasting my fuckinglife.
What an argument. P5 you are.

(56:40):
It doesn't intrigue you've. Known it doesn't interest you,
things like that. No Anyone.
There's there's you know, there is a lot of and I see one over
there. Bluffers.
Oh, I'm a. Bluffing the vampires.
There were people pretend. And have an interest in things.
I have an interest. In certain things, I've an
science isn't one of them because I'm too thick.
I don't understand that you're going people, someone.
Someone's house books, books outon their table.

(57:03):
Or were you just reading this? Were you?
You just read this, do you? You've done.
That exactly that. No, I don't.
You get on planes with books I know you're never reading, No.
I I read my books. Hey, read this, reading this
book. On the On the Life of Karl Marx
and I know you've got 2 pages and things right here waiting
for you. Wherever you go, Richard Marx,

(57:24):
10 out of 10. Joke.
Now listen, top Marx. But listen, I do read my books.
I read them in a snail's piece. You don't read your books if you
do my books. OK, If that is the case and you
know about the books you're reading about, Yeah.
Tell us more about The Yakuza, the book you were reading
recently. Tell us more.
I lost it. I lost it, but what do you want

(57:46):
to know about the UK? Just ask me a question.
Anything about the Yakuza, by the way.
You tell me. I don't know anything about
them, so I'll you do though. So tell us more.
Maybe you can apply the theory of relativity to it.
Tell us more. Couldn't, because they're not a.
Fucking vehicle or what are they?
They're a Japanese. Mafia organisation.
Yeah. Yeah.

(58:08):
Why are you looking around? They're like you got.
Why did they get formed You. Looked at me.
You looked around. They're like fucking Chris
Hanson was going to walk throughthe door.
Umm bap. Tell me more about them.
Completely different. Chris Hanson, but he's the.
Old one, tell us more about themthey value.
Honour didn't get that far in the book Fucking but I opened

(58:28):
1299. And WH Smith for that bluffer.
Hold on, hold on, I openly admitted I.
Lost that book. Openly.
Here's what you do. Here's what you do.
When we're sitting, sitting in the airport, we'll just get off
a flight. I'm like, good flight.
And you're like, you know, the Romans used to trade in green
like I asked you, you fucking Dick.

(58:49):
Hold on, I've got a. Bluffer attack there.
Hold on now, hold on. It doesn't always work.
It hasn't worked in ages. There might be no power left in
it, Right. I can tell you about the. 2
seconds we let. Me, get my bluffer detector,
Audrey. Now hold on a second, because
this bluffer detector is very accurate, but I don't know if
it's working right. Let me power it up here.

(59:16):
Because you're calling the bluffer that you just.
Blew up a bluffer that I lost bluffer.
I lost the book and at. No point where?
Well, I know all about the UK I one time mentioned to you, I'm
reading the book and I lost thatbook.
Yeah. I never then was just, you know,
sitting in restaurants. I mean, like, you know, the
Yakuza would never eat at a place like this, which you do.
Well then. I would go to Wagamamaquin.

(59:36):
The Yakuza would never eat that.It's not a fairly Japanese Yes
it is. Yes, it is someone.
By a guy called. Christy Christy Hanson.
Yeah, umm, name me one other Hanson song.
Oh, I don't know. I don't remember.
That's it. Yeah.
You really? I'm we're beyond the defensive,
but I'm just saying no, I know and I'm saying.

(59:58):
You're not about your body language.
Is you look poised, you know, I know.
See there your language. Not an Egyptian count, yeah, but
you. Oh.
Excuse me, you call me Egyptian.They do that you, you can see by
the you, you're poised there andI could see you were uptight
because I could see the white ofyour top of your fingers.

(01:00:19):
Can you can see? Can see the the the blood of my
veins boiling blue? Can you?
Can you see that touché? Yeah, touché.
Yeah, we've got to go. We're going to go for lunch.
I'm really hungry. Do you know?
Do you should have a big help Enough theory relativity.
Eat it all up. Eat up all them equations and
all. You'll be so knowledgeable and I

(01:00:43):
don't. Know there's Captain.
Pavlov's dog. And what else have we got here?
Einstein's elephant. Oh, you know, by downstairs
elephant. Well, if you put an elephant,
then I failed. And then you go to Malta for a
week. Is it still alive, by the way?
He'll. Shit on people for knowing
things and then hit you with theentire career starts of Roy
King, Yeah. Like who gives a?

(01:01:05):
Fuck, well that's worth. Something.
Terry Hey, football fans. Oh, not really.
Oh, but. It is where do you play for
before Man United? I can tell you who you really
play for. For in the morning Forest.
Why did I'm called from Celtic? No wait, I was after no one and

(01:01:27):
the reason I know which was our friend got him in an MMA head or
I don't know. There was something.
That's how I know. Schrodinger's headlock, either
body and. Roy Keane in a scooter for a
week and lock the doors. Will he get him in a headlock?
Yeah, you're not allowed to. Look inside the scooter so we
can only it's Lennon. 'S that's let.
It's Lennon's dog. Lennon's dog.

(01:01:53):
Who'd win the fight, Neil Lennonor Vladimir Lennon?
Who's Vladimir Lim? Say that from The Beatles.
Yeah, I don't know who Vladimir Lennon is.
I'll be honest here. And here's a difference between.
Me and a big bluffer. Like you, you would have waffled
your way through knowing who that was 100% because I'm
really. Good at talking shit.
I did politics. That's my main skill.
Yeah, Is completely talking shit.

(01:02:14):
And there's Vladimir Lenin, isn't it?
It is, yeah. Big history guy, by the way,
who's the history podcast? Doesn't know who Lenin is.
But I'm not a Jack. Of all trees history I know
about sex things but in depth but you should not.
That's ignoring about football and you don't know who fucking
Liverpool is, Yeah. Vladimir Lenin, also the
concept. Of that podcast is he doesn't
know anything all right. Yeah, that's.

(01:02:36):
The next one. That's my big bar.
That's my big bar. I want to.
Smack you sweet. Can't wait for the next episode.
Fucking shit, he's going to smack.
You. My Big Brother is.
Going to smack you and all I you, you're shame that you're
shame he's laughing all when he's shame.
And my Big Brother is going to smack him.
And that's my arbour in the prison.
Jump over. He's just out of.

(01:02:57):
Gaol Willie. I love you brother.
Love you mate, you got me crankytoday because I'm hungry.
Anything you want. To plug and promote?
Nah. Just when's this site goodbye?
Just don't. Worry about it, Waterfront.
Doing that one. Tea with Me live, 23rd of May at

(01:03:18):
the SSE Arena. Limited tickets left.
Surprises, fun, Good times. Willie T Willie T Here's a
hundred Yeah. Willie T + T with me at the SSE
equals fun. Yeah, it's fucking Pavlov's
twat. What Patreon?

(01:03:42):
Plug patreon.com site to Patreon.
Plug. You'd be awful.
If you had talk back in your ear, I'm not then.
I'm not learning. Patreon.
Plug fucking activated. Like a KGB sleeper agent there.
I'll tell you the KGBR off there.
Should I know when you? Actually go to them short, it's
all our exec. Producers who've joined the last

(01:04:03):
couple of weeks. Pedro on the comments.
TV podcast, there's a couple of tears on there, including the
executive producers. We've got a lot more.
You can just tell people you do that.
You can go on LinkedIn and be like, I executive produced TV
with me podcast. You literally can.
We are Pedro on the comments. TV podcast, we're about to film
a special. We're dunking.
You're delicious. We're about to film a.
Special in a couple of weeks, which will be great.

(01:04:26):
It will be filmed. At this point, yeah, the busy
big off. Thank you very much everybody.
Cheers. Thanks for that.