324. Auntie Craic and Uncle Banter with Micky Bartlett

Sippers welcome! This week I'm joined by friend of the show Micky Bartlett.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Here you wouldn't see. Them.
You wouldn't see them if you just lay there.
You just go there. I don't think you understood why
I was laughing. Why were you up?
I said where you seen Snow Patrol?
You said away from here, and I thought you did the purpose.
I did all right. Oh, you were just doing another
using Snow Patrol again. That was the joke.

(00:24):
Do you mean the first time? Second time, first time I got
it. Second time was just a genuine
impression, all right? Overtime joke.
Oh, OK, so I thought that's the second time I was expecting a
joke, which is why I said you wouldn't see them if you just
lay there. But then you were looking at me
like, why you doing that? Yeah, I know you were just
second. I knew I just didn't love the
joke. Oh, you didn't think it was
funny? All right.
Well, fuck you. No, but like, yeah, I just.

(00:48):
Oh sorry man, sorry can all be fucking hits like no can all be
new to means classic Mickey Barton jokes we.
Used to do that, you know what Imean?
Like it was like Deaf Joe. Oh yeah, used to kill recently
the corporate it has aged didn'twork.
The joke? No.

(01:09):
And somebody went. That looks old as far as I know.
It has aged like an Aboriginal shin.
Indigenous. Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's like you just said the N word.
You're right, said the a word. Yeah.
Umm yeah, people don't up to much better people don't believe
you wouldn't say when do certaingigs in Australia the play a

(01:30):
message beforehand. Yeah, the BA system.
Welcome to country or acknowledgement of country.
Acknowledgement. Acknowledgement.
Yeah, it used to be Welcome to country.
And then the whites we're like, fuck it, what the what the
Caucasians the uses really, I suppose.
No, I just there was just acceptthe white and I couldn't.
I knew it was offensive but couldn't figure out where it's

(01:51):
from. What, what boy to those people,
but they're but imagine that, but they're in Australia.
I think they're cracked up. And it was a welcome to country
because they were like, how can you welcome us their own
country? And then it was a whole thing.
So they went into acknowledgement and as much as
an important thing to do, fucking kills the crack before
stand up. Yeah, it's like a minute long
message. Yeah.
Before I've just everybody therefeeling guilty and you come out

(02:13):
fucking I free business. Yeah, it's it's an
acknowledgement, but it like when I was doing the festival at
Melbourne. Melbourne Festival, Yeah.
Or, as we call it, just Melbourne.
You have to. You don't have a support act,

(02:35):
You're over there by yourself and that's your warm up.
Yeah, message at the start and you can't come out and take the
best out of the the message. They, they also don't like when
you take the piss out of so I was there the year that had had
a vote about giving Aboriginal people, indigenous people,
indigenous people, like, sorry, like a voice in parliament and
they voted against it. And I used to, I was like, make

(02:57):
fun of the fact that you play this whole welcome to country,
like, aren't we great? And then those same people went,
can we have an opinion? And you all went.
Now I might. And they're fucking fumed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so angry.
But yeah, you just get the standard.
Like, I'm from Northern Ireland,we fix the world.
Yeah. But it is.
It is a real Auntie Crack. Auntie Crack.
Hello folks. Knock, knock.

(03:17):
It's me and Uncle Banter. Sit my nail, tell you a
cigarette. Pops up.
I fucking hate her. Yeah, yeah, Uncle Banter do.
You have a do you have an auntieand uncle that are bantering
correct? Like, do you?
You mean like as a jewel? As yeah or just.

(03:39):
Like, no, probably not. No, probably not.
Probably separately. But I'm not talking you're
talking about a family jewel that walks in, you know, here
you go. No.
Do you? Yeah, and they've turned up to
two of my gigs and heckled the whole way through it.
And then whenever things went, we would better.
Here, do you expect an auntie Crack and Uncle banter?
I know you'd expect to shut the fuck up.
What's the gig? What do you should have paid

(03:59):
them? You stay at the barbershop long
enough, Will you get Erica? Yeah.
Pass on my back and tell me it'sbeen.
That's true. I don't fart my nose and tell me
you didn't. I know you didn't hurt.
I watched the pucker. Parker Carlson.

(04:21):
Right, so tell me about you, Cyprus.
This episode of the Tea With Me podcast is sponsored by none
other than that Price Guy. I'm talking about Ireland's
largest price site, one of the prizes at the minute.
That was just telling me, Is it a real trip?
Basically you go to your house and play football and stuff and
ask him for Man United. I'm kidding.
Rio in Brazil, not the capital Brazil, that's Brazilian.

(04:43):
A lot of people think it's Rio de Janeiro, but it's not.
That Price Guy is doing cash prizes flat out.
We're talking about, you know, afew grand here and there right
up to 50,100 thousand from time to time.
There's £1,000,000 draws. He's made over 9 millionaires
and they've given over, I'm going to guess at this point
over £140 million worth out. At the end of this month, half a

(05:07):
million cash giveaway. Half £1,000,000 cash giveaway
and I'd say a ticket for that down would be 7950.
Currently it's reduced TO65P. Pence.
Yeah, 65 pence. So I'm getting change out of a
pound. You get 35 pence out of a point
back. Jesuschristthatprizeguy.co.uk.

(05:29):
The link is in the description. Let me also point to the way of
our patreonpatreon.com/tea with Me podcast.
You're getting the bonus episodes, you're getting the
live streams, you're getting allthe specials.
Plus it's like a five year archive there.
We can go back and watch everything that we've ever done.
Also the Kill Toddy specials on there.
The the Boozy Big Golf will be going there exclusively.

(05:51):
pigeon.com/tea with Me podcast. I'm playing the SSE Arena in
April 2026 with my show Hold Me Back and ticket sales are going
really great for that and if youwant to go you should get a
ticket now you go and take a master of she and talk
comedy.com for tickets for that.It's a brand new show.

(06:12):
I think my tour will be out as well.
You can Ireland tour and then there'll be a world tour
announcement. Say world tour be the place I've
done before. Really few more bits out of then
we'll have to cancel some I'm sure like I'm trying to gain in
a few places and like I'm doing Paris and they said listen, just
by you're not gonna make any money doing this.
And I said I still like to do it.
What about Milan? Milan I have probably given up

(06:33):
on. I've probably given up on it,
but there's some wild cards in there.
She and talk comedy.com. It's really warm in here.
I know I'm quite giddy. And you have the blood pressure
thing too. I don't.
I have perfect blood pressure. No, you fucking do.
You've seen your face. Yeah, my feet.
You. Look like you're being strange
I. Have a red, I have a red face
right? But it's also it's because of of

(06:54):
just pale skin. No, Peel's not red.
The doctor, the doctor told me that the doctor goes to me, you
have perfect blood pressure and I went.
Louis says you've really low blood pressure.
I said as that body goes, no, it's perfect.
I just wasn't expecting it because even the doctor was
shocked by how red my face goes.So the doctor goes, your face is
this red. I thought you're dying.
No, the Doctor, when I thought you were going to fucking die in

(07:15):
front of me, right. I was like, I'm alright, man.
I think I was Cat. My face goes red when I get
excited. Uncle Banter?
He's Uncle Banter. You don't know.
You go to family events. Well here comes fucking Uncle
Banter. Shepherd's welcome turns up my

(07:39):
cool box. So they showed up to the gig.
It was early days, I was when wefirst started stand up.
They turned up at Gagan Lurgan, heckled the whole weather.
Then their two kids turned up and joined in.
I was meant to do I think 1015 minutes and I was on stage for
45 minutes just fucking slaggingmy well, like 150 other people

(08:00):
were like. Was this on the when you and
Sean did the Logan the world tour of Logan?
No, it was whenever Sean ran a gig and Logan, it was the
seller. Sean Rank, Yes, Sean Rank gigs.
He was, he was running gigs and holes in the hedges.
Yeah, in car washes and every. Yeah.
If it was a place in Logan, he ran a gig there.
Yeah, whether the drive through McDonald's Sean was a standard

(08:21):
and gig. And back then we didn't know it
wasn't. But yeah, like, it took very
little for us to be like his Class 40 grad like.
I know that was like, because when he did the world tour of
Lurgan, we did make a bit of money that week.
Just pass on a bucket round and you're like, you could do this
everyday we class. That's right.
But then, yeah, well, then you do a nice gig.
The bowling alley one we did. That was one that was during

(08:43):
Finding the Funny. The barbers had the bowl.
Molly. Yeah, yes, there's still a
photo. There's a photo of me.
You, Sean. Paddy McGee.
That bowling alley closed down. Well, it didn't closed down, but
they can't work because all the there's some dispute with the
workers. Really.
Yeah, I think they're all on strike.
That's very good. They get a bunch of times and
though just for spur. Yeah.

(09:07):
And so she and Todd, they're fingering all the balls,
fingering the pulse. But yeah, you did a gate seven
nights, every night you. Said it was 10 nights and we
doubled up to them. And the last time we did it, I
think I've told on the podcast before, when we walked into the
middle of karaoke and the woman was singing Patsy Cline crazy
through the fucking thing in herthroat box.

(09:28):
Yeah, I was. You don't really hear a voice
boxes as much anymore, do you know what I mean?
You can barely hear them at all.You can hear them lighter than
yeah. You can't really hear them like.
But they were huge. You think like maybe auto tune
made people? Yeah, I think you're right.
Yeah. Paranoid about them.
Yeah, I think a lot of people know back.
In the day loads of people had voice box A.

(09:48):
Good idea for a voice box would be to get it remember the way
they had like Mr. T sat NAV. Yeah.
Tune it up so you get the sound like whoever you want to sound
like. Oh, so you could be like a 78
year old white woman from Lurgan?
Yeah, and you sound like Barack Obama.
Yes, do what I mean. Yeah.
Yeah, I need to buy 10 of ladies.

(10:10):
Or maybe 11? Are we not on fun we are having?
Love, let's go to a family event.
How you doing, boss? Who's that?
The guy from Greenmack. How you doing, boss?

(10:34):
My name is John Coffee. How you doing?
My name is Cassandra Mikasanti. I'm going through the menopause.
I'm having a horrible time. I've got hot flashes.
I don't know. I every time I pee something
comes out of me. I've got 2 beautiful
granddaughters to go. I can play, but who listen?

(10:59):
That's in my way to the big school next year.
Head and dine to the felons later.
It's going to be some crack. You just can make your own
dinner. Me and Uncle Banter are out for
the night. When do I ever get out?

(11:24):
This is the worst thing that happens Is the fire in Primark?
Oh mommy, you're mine's your dad.
And other impressions. Yeah, now voice boxes, you just
don't see them. There was a man called Tommy
used to have one. This did remember that and then

(11:46):
it happened was. The one with the week, like the
one where you press the week? Because I think like Val Kilmer
didn't have one before he died, right?
And he got it on one. Could he?
There he was. He was in a bad way.
What? What was his problem?
Some cancer? Oh yeah.
Smoked loads of eggs. Actors do.
So if you're an actor who's always in work, you're going to

(12:07):
have a bad throat. No, but I think no.
I've always said that I don't. That's science.
I. Don't think all actors smoke.
No, like no, I think there's like no, there's Val Kammer,
Patrick Swayze, the two that I know of, the smoke that's
smoked, Swayze smoked. Swayze smoked himself to death
like he was smoking. I think fucking 7080 fags a day.

(12:29):
But. I'm the I'm the rest of the
fake. You'd know Philtre, that man.
No. And now he's a ghost.
Yeah, I didn't know he wouldn't have seen Swayze.
Like wouldn't imagine. You haven't done all them.
We say I'm not gonna forget. I don't think he met, but I

(12:50):
think you just fucking blazed them in the place.
Yeah. Paddock Swayze.
Like, yeah. But Val, do you think Val Kilmer
just didn't want the voice box, just didn't like the look of it?
I don't know because in the documentary had like a wee hole
over so that he would like closeover so he could talk 0.
Because if he doesn't close, I might have.
Thought maybe they have a voice box to know.
But if he doesn't close, that doesn't do well.

(13:11):
His voice come in his net as chess.
He goes, Oh yeah, if the wind blew southeastly.
But could you imagine if your voice was coming out of places
that weren't necessarily your mouth?
Like if it like, would you, would your body just look for
other holes to let that like, yeah, I think there's any guys.
I think there's any ear voice guys.

(13:32):
Like if you like, you go to a public bathroom and you get your
Willy out and your Willy goes fucking around.
How funny would it be if you just talked out of your bum like
what you do? I think where would you if you
had to, right? If you had to have your voice
moved from. No, should be the natural.

(13:53):
Thing no your nose. I think it'd be creep creeper
than like. You wouldn't you?
I don't think you'd be able to tell if my voice is coming out
of my nose right now, you say. You could tell, I think.
It was coming out of your nose would be louder.
Yeah, enjoy your nose while you have it.
I am it, but would you rather? And yellow best over.

(14:15):
There, Westbrook. I know, but you're from near
Armagh? Oh, Bassbrook, did you say that
wasn't bad? Somebody recently called me
Crocodile Dundoc and I thought was right.
Yeah, it's good. Never heard of a daily.
But would you rather, would you rather come out if the noise had
the corner of your Willy or yourbum?
Yeah, No, it was a normal thing,a lot of people.
Like because it was bomb enough to turn around and talk to them.

(14:37):
Fair enough. That's a Willy, definitely.
Would you have to get your Willyout to talk to people?
I don't think I'm a bomb. Might talk to people.
So you have the talk with your bum.
Yeah. So you'd rather talk?
It's illegal to get your Williot.
Nobody. Nobody is illegal to get your
bomb out. Yeah, I think it is actually.
Yeah, Yeah, I always get lifted 100.
Bombs on a general. It is.

(14:58):
It's. Not your genitals, your deck on
balls. I would your bombs still.
Still be indecent exposure. Imagine.
For your bomb. Instead of mayor yeah I I got I
could stop by police one time for moon on the taxi and didn't
see the police car the well let.Is that how you think you
flagged down taxis? Is it not?

(15:19):
I don't see me get an Uber. Did you?
3 minutes. Did you you moon the car?
I got out of a taxi right? My matrix still in taxi and I
pulled me also before get into the house and there was a cop
car behind the taxi. Now did you bent?
Sure. No, no, I just I just got the
meet out. It wasn't I didn't spread or be
all look up the the trash. Usually the classic I'm walking

(15:41):
away a wee mooner. Just a wee mooner, right?
Just pull a wee mooner and the police car stopped and there was
two female police officers who jumped.
I was about 21, right? What the fuck are you doing?
And I don't know, I was so drunkI tried to, like, flirt my way
out of it. Like, Jesus, Jesus, they're
awful hard. Tough job isn't girls.
Fancy a munch? Just see anything you like, but

(16:01):
you seem more than more than a bullet wound and then so yeah.
So it is in fact illegal to get the bomb.
What did the police say did? Some holding a lot, they said.
We get off, idiot. I yeah, I don't, I don't think
getting the bomb out is that bigof a.
Deal. Hello mate, you're on the pod

(16:26):
here. I think I could beat you a
pickleball paddle. No pickleball.
What has the walls? Feeling brave, Yeah.
What has the walls? What?
What has the walls? Paddle has the walls.
Right pickleball, right. Yeah, I'm feeling brave.

(16:47):
Yeah. You feeling froggy late?
I'm. I'm I'm feeling leapy, you know
what I mean? I'm told leaving.
Yeah. Yeah, well, me and me and me and
Mikey want to play you and an opponent of your choice.
But maybe Mikey won't play. Maybe it's just maybe you.
I don't. Want you to play I.

(17:08):
Mean the. Hey, why you stubborn UK?
If you guys want to on one or two on one no I.
Want to play paddleball? I'd rather play one-on-one.
Are you saying that having Mickey on your court would be a
hindrance? Yeah.
That's. I hope I'm class.

(17:28):
But that's not true to say aboutMickey, man.
Right. I'll take his both on tell you
right now, no. Right, right.
We're going to play paddle or pickleball, whatever one doesn't
have the walls. Don't tell me because don't
remember. Pickle, pickle.
We're playing pickle. Right.
Me and Mickey are going to play you and pickleball, and then you

(17:49):
and me are going to play Mickey and badminton and we're going to
film this. Mickey and Badminton Ice go
one-on-one, no problem. I don't think he understands how
much badminton is all the wrist movement and I've done a lot.
Right, I'll tell you, I'll say this right now on the pod, if
Mickey beats you in badminton, yeah, you have to drink a

(18:11):
wicket, No. Well.
I'm just, I'll tell you that's all.
Confident now? Maybe, yeah.
Ah, Aaron, come on now. Yeah.
Yes, Sesi pants, sorry for the bad words.
Right, OK, right. Well, we're we'll set this up.
I'm. Ready.
Wendy's all play. Wendy's all play. 12:00 No, no,

(18:34):
we'll play. 9 minutes. We'll play next week or the week
after soon. Or the week after I put.
Either way, we're. Calling for you.
Just keep your eyes just. Keep your balls pickled.
Yeah. All right.
All right. Yeah.
He just hung up before we say goodbye.
What a rude we. Shit, he is pregnant because he

(18:56):
knows. I see.
Here's the thing. I I have played so little sports
that I have the confidence that I probably could do it even
though I can't. Play against little people.
Sorry, little sports. No, not against little people.
Just know very few sports, right, like the time whenever I
watched the member Chicago Bullsdocumentary during COVID, Yeah,
and I went I'm probably class ofbasketball.

(19:17):
Not yeah, like I know I can't play football.
Try to watch it. I know I can't fight.
That's why I don't watch it. And that's what I watch porn,
because you can fuck some shit, right?
I did that joke wrong. But yeah, I reckon I with a
racket sport, I reckon I'll be alright doing fast, Hazel.
See, I moved up three times, didn't.

(19:37):
Sit. But what is pickleball?
It's like we tennis. Pics was so like pink as a ping
pongers a pickle ball. It's in between tennis and ping
pong. It's pick.
It's tennis. Pickleballs.
Tennis on a wee tiny. Court What's the difference
between squash and paddle ball? With a wee net, huh?
What's the? Difference between squash and is
a paddle ball. Ones a drink on the sport.
Well done. Umm, squash has a.

(20:00):
Tennis racket is a different racket, yeah.
Squash is a bummer and racket. Also, squash is against the
wall. This has got a net yet over.
Right, but paddle ball I was. Against the wall between paddle
and squash paddle. Is.
A hybrid of tennis and squash. Oh, hybrid.
All right, Tony Pony. It's actually a hybrid.
Only Einstein over there, but I'll cheer for that.

(20:24):
Makes perfect sense. We still don't know.
Still don't know hybrid in what way so.
Is he not Harry Potter for me? So for this episode of the TV's
Me podcast is also sponsored by none other than Manscaped, the

(20:45):
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And you know it. If you've tried any of the
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Has to be Probably has to be think of your lawn in your
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(21:07):
Probably a bit patchy, probably a bit on inspiring, probably a
little bit overgrown look look in your pants.
Is it the same manscape.com shouldn't be green.
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(21:29):
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I'm just bet you're a new plan. We sports like you plan Batman
against. We don't be the elf.
I used to, We used to have a wayat uni and there's a guy I went

(21:51):
to uni with. Was.
A week the guy with uni with like used to play a professional
10 pin bowling, but when he played wee bowling he would do
like the Dragon's whip, like he'd kick his foot up behind him
and we'd always be on the curse I got.
So you you went to uni with a professional bowler?
Yeah. What is that?
Is he getting dull for that like.

(22:11):
He's not that professional. I don't know, accidentally, I
haven't seen him in 20 years, but yeah, he was.
He got into uni on a bowling scholarship, not making it up
for a fucking drama degree. You don't even have to read to
get in this. You're.
Kidding me? Swear to God.
Did he did you ever go actual ball?
When? I heard of it like turned up
with his own ball and glove and all.
Did he have his own ball? Called Derek.

(22:34):
Would he be doing like gym workouts and all for ball?
He brought his laptop near theirWi-Fi router one time, so I'm
guessing now he was working something.
Sorry I was too much. Professional temp and bore in
Northern. Ireland, there's no jokes.
I've no, I've nothing. Just legit.

(22:56):
Like, yeah. And then he love it like.
Absolutely loved it, couldn't shut up, but he wouldn't stop
talking about it. Virgin like even to this day.
Yeah. Virgin Gay.
Virgin on love that. Yeah, thank you.
Love that. Remember Virgin that Virgin Cola
used to be in the a lot of stufflike, yeah, I remember Virgin
vendor machines where you get Virgin Cola and all different

(23:19):
their drinks and all that sort of thing.
Because see, Bronson, he's in the.
All the virgin venom, I was one of the virgin vet machines.
Very hard to get the money. In excellent, excellent and
they're released so quickly. Yeah, so quickly.
But he was in the all, all stufflike, yeah.
Because it was virgin. Hot air balloons.
Hotter balloons eat the plans. They sell the plans.
Still, the plans. Probably Virgin Airlines.

(23:42):
What happened to the Virgin? That what happened to all the
record labels? Are they all fucking?
Now he did. I don't know if they had a
record label as a shop. But I'm pretty sure they had a
record label as well. But he was, he had every, yeah.
He crashed, remember Chris Evansjoined the Virgin radio station
and got paid millions for it like.
Yep, because he left Big Breakfast to do that.
Was it? Yeah, somebody.

(24:04):
Got everyone's listened. Everyone was listening to the
Radio Atlantic 252 Jesus Code station.
Energy One O 6 Zodiacs Nightclub, Lurgan.
And Maniac 2000 was #1 in the charts for like 10 years.
Maniac. Number one then white ladder.
David Grey was #2 in the charts down South for about fucking 18
months. A down to remix or just?
Just the standard version. David Grey, Massive in Ireland.

(24:25):
He's classic, very short people down there.
Yeah, right. Have you ever told me they went
to see him recently or they've seen him?
Karen loves him. Who the fuck I was talking about
this word? Somebody recently went to see
David Grey. I think it was going to be
shite. Was it Dave?
Yeah, David said. He went to see him thinking like
us will be thought it was like the best game was ever if you.

(24:47):
Want it? Come and get it.
That's all. That's all.
Really good like. For crying out loud.
It's not. It's not bad at.
All I lost out of bed. But oh, you still fucking.
It's the head Wobbly had as wellthat we kind of like.
The love that I was, didn't. Do it was I.
Never heard he everyone had thatalbum.
Yeah. White Ladder album.
James Blunt, back to bed. Yes, Maroon 5, yes, whatever.

(25:12):
The first album was Drea 2001. Very eclectic music theist.
Albums, take that, greatest hits.
Never had, never had that. Michael Jackson's number ones.
Queen Greatest, That's everyone.Like that, everyone of that The
Beatles one remember, The Beatles one came out, everybody
was. Like oh the Red Album 1 on the
front, yes. And then I think I got I had the

(25:34):
Elvis one, but only because theyhad the remix of Little Less
Conversation on Yes. Remember just going into
Woolworths after school? I remember being in the queue
just like Boxing Day or something, just after Christmas
when you went in the city centreand I was in the queue for
Woolworths to buy a So Solid Crew album.
And then a guy walked up to me. He's like much is that album it?

(25:55):
And I don't know, I was like 11 or sometime he's like in his 20s
and I was like £18 and he goes, I'll give you a 20 LB Woolworths
voucher for a tenor. And I was like, this is a great
deal. But the voucher often queued for
ages, got up to the till. The guy's like, this is not a
World Wars voucher. And the more I looked at it, the
more the guy just like made it on on paint at his house.

(26:16):
He just put the World Wars logo.What a fucking.
And then written 20 LB voucher. But that's the most, that's the
the cheekiest, most forgivable way to rob somebody I've ever
heard of my fucking life. Yeah.
You couldn't even be mad at that.
I was mad. You wouldn't be like you'd be
fuming. I was crying but at the same
time what a Sketer to. Keep me from my garage, I.

(26:37):
Wonder how much money he made intotal over the over the years.
They're not cleaned up. I mean, there's ways to scam
people and that's cute. I love to Sol crew.
I got 21 seconds ago. Yeah, I got 21.
Seconds ago what? Was your other song because we
let me know I'm in the studio with 21 Here's so many haters a
clap. But what would he was bringing
average proof from the underground St to you?

(26:58):
I don't think they have many others.
Was to Lisa and so solid crew noend up end up.
Speaking of virgin end up. I saw a video.
She's no virgin. You're.
Talking about Lisa mafia. Mafia.
Yep. Yeah.
Yeah, Talisa was end up had somebangers.
The one with tension. Strider #1I.
Didn't I, didn't even said. You're talking about celebrity

(27:21):
sex tapes you're Forte if you'reon Mastermind.
Five Ted, we also. I'll be your.
Special subject celebrity sex tips.
Yeah, I've never seen the pump. The quintessential one.
Paul Anderson. Yeah.
Tommy. Tommy Lee.
Tommy Lee, he said. Tommy Rock.
I remember that first came out thinking it was the guy from Men

(27:42):
in Black. I didn't know.
Will Smith. No Rep toward She was the end of
it. Not people won't appreciate that
enough because they won't know Reptorn is the name of an
action. Name of the actor?
Yeah, he's a dodgeball guy. Is that?
His real name? Yeah.
Serious. Yeah.
Well, I don't think it's his Christian.
I don't think he was like, our second name is Torn.

(28:05):
What should give him as a first name?
Yeah. Tear.
Nah. Tear.
Torn sounds mad. Territory.
Yeah, Reptorn. Yeah, further today.
What? Elmore rule.
See why she might change it. Yeah, I found it this morning.
I was watching a clip. Michael Keynes.
Actual first name is Morris. More skin.
Yeah, sounds cool. Is it?
No, but OK, bye Nice Boris K. Doesn't work, does it?

(28:29):
No, you're already supposed to kick the back doors in or
whatever it was. Yeah, it shows the kick, kick my
back. I saw when I was in Nigeria, the
fuck was that? Yeah, they supposed to blow my
bloody cock. I saw, I'm sure, the odd speech

(28:53):
at about 1:00. I can't remember it holding it
out in a diamond the size of thetangerine.
Why do we fall? And he stuck it into bed with
other men. What's other great Michael Caine
quote? I was in Jaws of Revenge.
Do you ever see Jaws Revenge? No, it's shite.

(29:14):
It's got to be. It's really, really bad.
Doesn't need a sequel. At the end of it, the fucking
the kill the shark by ramming like a sailing ship into it.
So the mask was and it's and theshark goes and there's an
interview, great interview, Michael Caine, where someone's
like talking about how shit thatmovie was and he goes, I've
never seen it. I did see the house that it
bought. Yeah, he's a great.

(29:36):
I actually saw an interview him yesterday or something.
He's a great like interview clipguy now.
Yeah, yeah. When you look at some of the
stuff because like, interesting guy, long career, Yeah, great
stories. So the reason he's called Morris
is because he comes from as he'sgypsy background, right?
That's his words, not mine. I would have called him family,
but he's. Yeah.
So his his dad was called Morrishis dad before him and his wife

(30:00):
did their lineage, his lineage and there's no joke.
You're looking at me like just as a setup.
I know. But though his wife did their
his lineage and found that that GFC's originally come from
India. I was that's the clip I watched
this morning. What's?
That going to do, Morris. I don't.
Know I'll just tell you what he said in the clip right even he
was like I'm 6 foot 2 and blondes I don't know how the

(30:21):
fuck I'm not Indian like I. Wonder what he ended up.
But is he dead? Michael Caine Yeah, we still
working. I bet you're saying that.
You're saying that like he's gotyears left.
You know it's not. These some of these guys are
like. Up 24.
Yeah, he's not playing a young Michael Caine like, no.
He's not playing Zac Efron High School Musical.

(30:43):
Yeah, although that would be. Good we're play if I.
What he does comedies. Brilliant.
He's hilarious. One of my favourite lines he's
ever do in the fucking spy thing.
No, although I forgot about that.
The one with Colin Firth. Oh.
The Kingsman where he's like partial way through it and then

(31:04):
at the end of the guy poisons him and he just goes you daddy
little fuck. I think it's fucking.
Have you seen the Gentleman? I have one TV man.
I haven't seen the show here. The show's great.
I'm just starting to watch it. Yeah, I want to watch the Snatch
TV show. Didn't know with Rupert Grant.
Yeah, so. What's it?
Yeah, cheeky wee bastard. But I have.

(31:26):
You know, right? Must be a Weasley.
Guy, we were talking, we were talking.
I'm Aaron. This is just I'm gender as fuck
like. We were talking to a guy out in
Joxer, an old gentleman called Daniel, and I literally went,

(31:47):
you probably know my dad. And he's like, no, I don't think
I do. You're false.
He was like, you can't just assume old men know each other.
Vaguely racist. I want to be like, I want to
move FM old. Well, I want to know all the
other old men. I can't wait to be one of them.
I felt like here he comes. Other having.
Great uncle banter. All boy meets, yeah?
Yeah. Do you not sell plenty mates?

(32:08):
Yeah, right as none. He could be made to my dad if
you want. Imagine we set our dads open.
Your dad doesn't drink it. It wouldn't work.
Yeah. But would your dad like my dad
does our roll it? Your dad could.
No, my dad has a shed. My dad has a shed.
That's his pride and joy. He just sits.
Up might we could bring the. Door open, look at the house.

(32:28):
What if I come up to your mom and dad's house and I just drop
my dad off and your dad shed andleave them there?
We played it, yeah. I reckon within 15 minutes your
dad would have my dad a fucking chokehold.
Might not be. How do we ask my technol?
No, I even get on all right. No what I the problem?
Nothing in common. Nothing in common?
No, my dad had a motorbike when he was younger.
Perfect. We'll get 40 minutes.

(32:49):
Hello, he told me the motorbike for years and then one day one
of the guys in work printed out a photo of the motorbike my dad
had and he put it up in the fridge like it was a moped.
You're. Like one of the pedal ones the
we remember we do get actual fucking pedal like a back end of
the start one of them. And I was like, I was telling
people for years, you were a fucking healthy.
Healthy Angel. Yeah.
And he's like, no, yeah, Osman, are we fucking 2 strokes?

(33:11):
Just away, heavens devil, me, my, my dad's doing like a, so
they do like parade lapse. So there's like A at some of the
motor motorbike races, there's like a legends thing where like
all the old boys go out and all the old bikes they put the
Leathers on and do like exhibition lap.
So it's like it's not. Because there's a photo viewer
down on his bike and those old bikes do look very unsafe

(33:35):
compared to even though they're motorbikes and there's no real
difference. Yes, then they're driving them
like the fastest capacity they'll go on actual roads.
But I was filling at the forum forum to do the parade lapse
thing and the disclaimer on it'sgreat because it's like my dad's
like obviously near 80 and stuff.
And the forms are like, don't bedying, please.

(33:56):
And you have to take a box to belike.
We'll try. Not to die.
Could he still throw a bag around like?
They're tottering about like, but he, he, the last time he did
it, I think he wanted to go faster then after he's like
could open it up a wee bit more.That's dangerous.
See I I've been on a motorbike once.
He's doing 20 mile an hour. I believe in that I'm flying,
but even 20 mile on a motorbike,terrifying like I was.

(34:18):
I was in the back of my friends motorbike when it was I was 18
or 19 and it was like a. Whole way you hold them.
Like that, like he goes grab them, handles the back of the
bag and I went fuck you. If I'm going off, you're coming
with me. Head and shoulder. 100% was
worth his coat No, but he was hehad one of them we like what do
you it wasn't powerful was. Your deck as we bum.

(34:38):
No, my deck was in my bones, notafraid, but it was like a wee
fucking what the CC is in motorbike What the one you don't
even need a licence for 150 is 50 right?
So it was, it was like a essentially as powerful as a
scooter, but it was a motorbike,right?
And the because it's just an engine with a seat.
He took off on it and I just went skirt the fuck out of me

(35:01):
and I've never been on one since.
Tony has a motorbike. We were a couple of years ago on
it. You got Chopper?
And his motorbike, too. Have you got a Hardy?
You don't have a Hardy, do you? Might be the coolest container
in my life. I went on and he was weren't
going that fast but I was like Iproperly like have my hands on
his hips. I done my nails in.
I swear to God, yeah. If I was flexible, if I have my

(35:21):
legs sitting in front of them, can you still say you're
gorgeous? Flies in the back of my neck and
all your eyes. You don't need noggle time here.
But like is it a big heavy Hardy?
Is it one of the? Ones that's one of those light
ones make. No, but I mean like the big
fucking like, I have no idea that means.

(35:45):
Tony is only a big heavy or how heavy is how?
Strong are you Tony? Strong enough?
Do you like to have your thighs or something thick?
Keep your eyes here. I'm not a piece of metal, you
know. I'm some ride though here.
Would you like that? Would you?
Could you ever be on a motorbike?
I would love to get, I would love to learn how to ride a
motorbike, but I would need a slow one, right?

(36:07):
Do you know what I mean? I don't.
I wouldn't want to. My little 100. 51 of them we buy
boys. Yeah, like something like.
That I think that'll be fun, butyou'd want the big bike for like
big Sunday afternoon. Yeah, I'd like a big like, I'd
like a Harley that would kind oflike just so you could stop
outside a pub going and you turnthe bike on.
But like see the what? Like those like Rd racing bikes

(36:31):
where they're like fucking like you have to bend forward.
Yes, that scares the fuck out ofme.
Absolutely. Because you're about four inches
from the road. Yeah, so you're doesn't legend.
I'm saying that's impressive that he was able to do that for
as long as he. Did, yeah, but no, he's like, he
would be like, I can't go fast on it, but they're flying.
Like for someone like us, we'd be looking at it being like
Jesus Christ, but they're just like getting all the Leathers on

(36:51):
again and doing it. Yeah, but it's fun to watch.
Oh definitely I can't. I don't like going fast.
I even like even in my car. Like I think I told you I come
up here one day and was out traffic lights and took off
pretty quick and made this noise.
I just went never again That's me.
It's just, I'll just fucking. I'm not a fast get like I I like

(37:12):
the idea of a motorbike, but I don't think it ever did.
Yeah, plus like the maintenance of it and all that.
See, that's the thing as well. If you if you have a motorbike,
you need to know how to fix it. Yeah, it's not like a car.
We can just drop it into somebody.
It's like all that needs something done.
Is there any hobbies you can seeyourself taken up like as you
get older so? Anything like I'm starting to
think about getting a wee hobby,you know, I'm starting to think
what else, what else can I do apart from just being great

(37:34):
crack for the nation? What do you?
What do you think and like, is it a sport?
Is it something like that? I would, I actually would love
learn to learn how to like fix acar.
I like to be one of those guys that has a like an old car in a
garage and somebody calls around.
I'm just in a tank top robbing grease off my hands and then go
what's more beg in the way around 20 minutes.

(37:56):
So your hobby is to be operational mechanic, no?
No, no, just like the fake stuffknows, right?
As long as it was the car. So like DIY and stuff?
Nah forgot what? A bit a bit of woodwork or
something? Do you do a bit of woodwork?
No. I I'm afraid of that because one
time in technology in school a guy was using the lathe like the
the sand belt in the vertical sand belt in school.

(38:17):
Lathe lady boy. You plug her up pretty good.
But he was, no, he was found on my plywood and took the top of
his finger off and I was like, well, that's, that's wood gone.
I'm afraid of that now too. Did he freak out?
He actually didn't. He was kind of like, Oh, Sir, we
were pulled back on quick. Just took him to nurse drop and

(38:41):
asked him to old school. But I don't know, like I would,
I would fashion I could, I'd like to shoot him maybe.
Do you what I can see you do? Cycling.
No, don't like it at all. Tried it a few times.
Big calves like. Awesome.
Skipping though. My problem is tender bottom.
Sorry. That's my boyfriend calls me no,
but I don't like how by our fields on a on a bicycle saddle.

(39:03):
But you get like some boys were almost wore a cushion.
Oh yeah, I know that, but I still still still can't do it.
You. Probably do without the seat
though. I miss the handle.
Now we need to get your hobby like.
I would. I would like to like Claire
pigeon shooting or just shooting.
I think it'd be a good hobby. Shoot that thing.

(39:24):
She would join paramilitary. No, let's start one CA cross
community paramilitary. What a great idea.
About here, about time, is it not?
Is it fucking right at? This that's when we'll know
we've come a long way, when boysand both say can team up for
organised crime, we'll. Get one of the old boys from
back in the day to start it. He'll be there.
Start to them like. It's not a Bad Religion anymore.
Yeah, go with me on this. No surrender, Arla.

(39:50):
Yeah, that'd be nice if they came together like a super.
Group where that or I don't knowwhat what have you any hobbies
I'd say to stand up and like? Football, comedy, BBQ, family.
Family's your hobby, it's your responsibility.
But you mean if you want to leave it in?
You're right. But yeah.

(40:10):
Like Roman? It's not a hobby though, is it?
I suppose it is, yeah. But like, you know, something
like that, like you do coach thefive Ki.
Don't want to. I don't like running right.
I've I've did train a few times before the marathon and hit it
up eh? What?
Well, box so you. You boxes we box as a hobby.

(40:31):
Boxes definitely a hobby yeah what about when I did meant what
about like combat sport? Oh the my Torg.
I. I could see you.
Suck the thing. Actually bending my.
I would love to learn an instrument right?
I would love to learn to play guitar.
Yeah, why don't you do a? Few people have tried to teach
me to have the patience for it, right.
I think I maybe have hit the point in my life where I'm like,

(40:53):
oh, I'm beyond learning new skills.
No. I reckon I don't know.
Do you reckon there's a point asyou get the certain it?
Gets harder. I've learned enough.
And gets harder. It gets harder, definitely.
But I think you can you can do it.
Like what about learning the language in the car?
Do you know, weirdly, do you know what the problem would be
is I don't have enough confidence to even if I do know

(41:14):
a few words of a certain language.
I'm one of those people. I just can't bring myself to do
it. So when you're on holiday in
Spain, the point? Is short like I'm.
You can't drop. It I'm sure one always in at the
end of stuff. I can't even ask for a fucking
Pinot noir in a pub. Come on, get the red wine,
anyone? Right.
That's sad. I know it's a, it's a but.

(41:35):
You're a confident man. I'm a confident man, like until
someone goes speak a different language or Dr motorbike, it's
only two things I can't do. Yes, I want, I want you speaking
Mandarin on a hardly. Sing a sing in Spanish.
Yeah, that'll be lovely. It'll be class.
I am, yeah. The more I don't think I would
ever do the motorbike thing, butI think I could see cycling.
I could like, I like when you see all boys out cycling and

(41:58):
what to do is to get together ona Sunday morning, go for a cycle
and then go and get a fry somewhere, cycle back.
I like social. It's, I know a lot of people do
cycle and they love the social aspect of it.
I also know several cyclists have been hit by cars because
people lose humanity when they're in.
So I would do it if it was round.
Just like we're just going to goaround this cycle path.

(42:19):
Don't talk to me is mental. Yeah, Psychopath.
Yes, Thank you. BMX No.
Please get into BMX and you showing up.
What's up dude? Start the BMX track.
Matches just class that they're like I would love you wouldn't
be. You're doing the Red Bull X
Games or whatever. Yeah, at 50.

(42:40):
Yeah, what about like diving? Again, would love to do that and
waters that. No sharks so it have to be in
cold places. Yeah, but like swimming?
Yeah. Yeah.
Do you? Can you swim?
Yeah. Actually very good be sorry.
What's your favourite stroke? Tim Curry, Google app.

(43:02):
That's a good joke. Yeah, just just fucking
breaststroke. Do you?
Will you swim when you're you say you don't want to swim
around sharks, but yeah, when you're going to Australia here,
you won't get no water, will you?
I mean, I've got in the water a bunch of times in Australia, but
every time I do it I'm like, this is scaring the fuck out of
me. I think we were in Australia on
this. If I would go on this trip, I'd

(43:22):
say going to go for a swim, would have it set up and then
come to the time you'd be like, I can't be bothered.
No, we went to the beach last time we were all there.
We did. It was a shitty beach, so it was
an English. Smelly beach one.
Yeah, the last, the last time I was over there was Christmas
time. I was in the water with a made
of mine and we were like like paddling and we went alright.

(43:45):
You and your mate were paddled. Yeah, I mean, we're fucking
having a switch. You're going to meet your
friend, fucking slap some balls that we talk about splashies.
But I said to him, I was like, Iwas like, when do the sharks
come out? And he went, ah, bat now.
And I was like, what are we doing on here?
Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah.
OK. Humphreys.
Yep. K Humphreys swam in a river in
Sydney and when he got out, somebody was like, what the fuck

(44:06):
are you doing that's filled withbull sharks?
And he said he just threw up where he was standing.
He was over it. He thought it was the sea.
Yeah, I'm shouting to him. But he was like, he thought it
was the sea. And then he told someone where
he'd been swimming, and they were like, where exactly?
And they sent him a picture of that rough area.
And we're like, is this where you were?
He's like, my hotel is like, right there.
That's where I was. And they were like, mate, that's

(44:26):
like, that's a river. Yeah.
I think the worst place you could be.
There's a few places in Perth where there was a two years ago
there was a girl that was like in a canoe or a kayak with her
mates fell out and the second. I'm not talking to you.
Did she die in this story? Yeah.

(44:51):
Our friends, well, the last words we said were in anger.
No, but she fell in the canoe and bull sharks just fucking
ripped into beds like they're the party.
They're they're nice. Life jacket, you're fucking.
Nerfing. Your roots, you fucking pump
you. Yeah, you're stinking.

(45:18):
You're awful, fatty. But they are like.
Yeah, better all up. Do you think bull sharks are the
ones that will eat anything? That's a great white will bite a
human and go. I don't actually like that, but
you're dead by the time. It's like us, we're drinking.
I'm a great white. I'll drink the old time if it's

(45:39):
what I like to drink. Yeah, you'll drink it.
I'll drink anything. Yeah, yeah.
How long are you going for a? Month.
And are you settled in one place, a lot of them, or as a
concentrate? No.
So I'm going to be basically going gagging all over the place
and then going for a week in Bali.
So I basically like get Austria to have a couple of days, do a

(46:01):
gig, flight to Sydney, do 2 gigs, flight back to Perth, fly
to Bali for a week, flight back from Bali.
The next day I fly to Melbourne,do a gig the day after that
flight of Brisbane, do 2 gigs, then fly back to Perth and fly
back home. So it's it's not a whole day
like. What are you going to do in
Bali? Literally nothing.
Like I don't care about, say, inBali, I don't care about going

(46:23):
to weave cheap markets. I'm in an all inclusive resort.
I'm going to get sunburned and pitched.
Yeah, for a full week. I've been told you can't drink
the water. The safest thing to do is drink
beer the whole time. I like those done.
I like those videos of Instagramversus reality in Bali.
You know when people say like this amazing, uh, cabana type

(46:45):
thing and all, Yeah. And then they show you the real
people go to it and then like pound the camera around and I
say a car park. Yeah.
Do you want my leg on? Yeah, because there's much
Bali's one of those places wherelike I isn't doesn't it have one
of the like the like a trash island floating off it somewhere
because they have no infrastructure, so they're just
fucking. Where is Bali, Indonesia.
Indonesia. It's apparently it's like that's

(47:07):
why everyone gets sick. It's like everything's just so
polluted. And a lot of it's probably to do
with Westerners come over and being like, oh, this is lovely.
Welcome Slinger here. Yeah.
But yeah, I've, no, I'm not a very touristy person.
Yeah, I often find that anythingI've gone to see touristy, you
can Google and get a better image of it.
A. 100% I've said this before, The pyramid in Egypt, I feel

(47:28):
like I've been there. If I'm there and a minute I
can't see it. Does that make sense?
If I'm in it, I can't see the outside of it.
When you see the Sydney opera's up close, you go.
It's actually kind of stinking. I've been in.
It so. Not as big as you think.
Yeah, auditorium and stuff inside.
You get them. No, we're talking about it.
I would love to. It's not unreal, but like to say

(47:49):
you've done it's great. Yeah.
But but it's when you actually see the building, you're kind of
like this looks like a Northern Irish leisure centre.
Yeah, that was built in this. Well, that's their inspiration,
mind. The right Yeah, Brownlow wreck.
The Tars. What thing?
Whatever we call in the Palomino, they saw that legend
there and they won't build us up.
Yeah, and that's what they. Yeah, that's man.
Big Leguizad machine. Like the machine when you walk

(48:11):
in. Yeah.
Loaded last plan 5A set. I'm jealous.
Smell of chlorine. I miss Australia.
It's I love it. It is class I would love to
live. What's your favourite City game
last year before Right There? It depends.
It's Perth. I love Perth but Adelaide I had
the best month of my life over there because it was just at a

(48:33):
Comedy Festival with no solo shows on so I was just doing
spots for a month. Yeah.
Yeah, and everybody would go to the same pub at night.
It's not that big a festival. See, when we like when we
overlap for a few of those showsand stuff in Australia and like
that up, it's not so surreal. Yeah.
Like when we're just like. It might be the only time we hug

(48:53):
to say hello because even thoughwe've seen each other two weeks.
I'd be open to doing that more body language.
But there's that weird, there's that weird thing like we're both
in Australia looking, yeah, there's a guy, Ronnie Neville,
who's, he's from a Traveller background and me and him, every
time we bump into each other, wejust go look at us.
I know, but I'm not and I think we went to that and more bar.
Is that what's called the exit? Yeah, what's called the Exeter.

(49:15):
Exeter and. You look at the expert.
And there's just all these comics that you kind of know and
you're like, how mad that we're the what this thing we do is
brought us to here and we're just all.
So many times don't have you talked to a comedian, like who's
10 times more famous than you that you admire?
And they say something like, how's your show going?
Yeah. And you end up having staff room

(49:36):
chat. Yes, yes.
With one of your heroes. You're like what the fuck?
I love it. Are you doing any?
Are you there for the festivals?You.
No, I this is the only year and since I've started stand by, I'm
not doing any comedy festivals call West, but like the the sort
of bigger ones not doing any. You have done the French.
Nope way I'm in Australia Journal is it?

(49:57):
And I think I think it's becauseI'm starting to feel like a lot
of comedy festivals are getting a wee bit too greedy.
This is probably boring stand up.
No, but I think people, no, I think people are interested
because they if they like us doing this, then they like stand
up. Yeah.
And it's interesting to how it works.
But I think the thing was especially the Adam of Fringe is
it's got deer and deer every year today.
It's insane how expensive. Because it used to be you will

(50:19):
go right. Well, if I want to save money,
maybe I'll stay just outside of Edinburgh.
And now it's got to the point where like you can't afford to
stay in Glasgow for the month, never mind Edinburgh.
When we everyone has that idea. When we.
First went over there was me andtwo other comedians rented a
house for a month in Leith, so it was like 10 minutes on a bus
in the city centre. £18. No, it was like it was there

(50:41):
even then, but it was like 800 lbs or something.
Yes, yeah, yeah. Which is insane amount of money
when you're starting stand up. Like who the fuck has that?
Yeah, the the last time I did it, me and Robbie McShane were
in a one bedroom flat and it was1500 each.
Yeah. And we, the tech turns, one of
us had a bed for two weeks and the other one slept on the couch
and we swapped. Yeah, and it's gotten worse

(51:02):
since then. So especially with the Oasis and
who else is playing in Edinburgh?
This year? Oh, Springsteen?
No. Is it SCDC?
There was something about there was a couple of hotels where one
night in the hotel was costing like 7000 LB.
That's like and it's they're going to ruin their own festival
because they've they've outpriced working class.
People, is your gym access to? I think Jim's there.

(51:24):
Is your, is your breakfast. Included No, it's an Ibis, No,
but it is just going to here andthen it's like you think of guys
that go over there and sell it afull run and make £120.
Yeah, yeah. To be in a shipping container
for a month with no but. What what way can they change it
or what can? Because they always go.
Landlords are taking the piss 1000%.
I mean, anyone can see that there, but landlords aren't just

(51:46):
going to go all right, then we'll take the price down
before. I think one of the things that
happened was that that for a while they had people like
tenants run on an 11 month contract.
So they'll basically kick tenants out for August and then
double the price of the flats, the counselling, because that's
fucking pretty rough. Yeah, your home for a month.
So they stopped. That happened.
But then that meant that any flats that were available for

(52:08):
Edinburgh where there was more scarcity.
So then it was talking to the roof.
It's had a point where people that have tried to stay in
Glasgow and come in Edinburgh, even the Glasgow competitions
going up. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, yeah, yeah. So Livingston, I looked at, we
were thinking about doing a couple years ago and I was like,
could we go over as a family andprobably get a house not that
far away and then commute in? Yeah, it was insane.

(52:29):
Yeah, like it was insane. It's mentally and it's just.
It doesn't make any sense to do it.
And what it's going to do is it'll stop anybody who doesn't
live in Edinburgh, that's working class isn't going to go
California. Why would you?
Yeah, and it's going to mean theACT is no working class actually
going to be there. So it's going to be a middle
class, upper class festival for middle and upper class people.
Yeah, it'll all be those Cambridge Foot.

(52:50):
Yeah, it'll. Be everyone clicking their
fingers. Do you want to see a show about
rape? Yeah, I, I don't, I don't know
where it is in 2-3 years time. Yeah, I don't see it last most
longer like, which is a fucking shame because when you're there,
the worst thing, but it is when you've spent all the money and
you actually get there you go. This is worth every penny.

(53:10):
Yeah. Because it's, it's fucking great
crack. I'm going to do my normal thing.
I'll go over for a day again this year.
I don't even know if I'll do a show, but I might just go over
and watch shows and, yeah, see people.
But then, well, he's the only person I know doing anything.
The owners didn't know Willy. I'd maybe head over myself.
I do like kind of it's. Should we do a day?
We should. Maybe we could I'm back from
street on the 16th, so there's still two weeks of Edward tend

(53:32):
to do it I. Think we should do like a
morning flight lasting a night flight home?
Still we overnighter. OK, still awake.
Fuck, that's the whole month. Let's do a show.
Fuck Australia more. That's good.
But on the improv show, just be really lazy about it and it's
just us going what do I does, what do?
I does no not. Yeah, yeah, we should go.
Let's go over for a day. Let's do it.

(53:54):
You drink. I think I'm.
I still edmar my way. I think I used my my alcohol.
I honestly think the same, like it took me to Wednesday over
that stag weekend that I'm like,I have to really fucking knock
out my head, yeah, I have no money left.

(54:15):
We're keeping in the time that aconversation we have before.
This part. With the Martin Lewis.
I really genuinely was like us, yeah.
Through all this shit, yeah. Danny Glover.
That's what a fuck. Absolutely.
But I can't wait. Like, yeah, I would.
Would you do any more next year if you had?
If you had, would have you ever done a full month A.
Couple of times, yeah, probably not.

(54:36):
I know it's a weird one. It's such a weird if the if it
went back to 2013 prices. A week or two, definitely.
Yeah. More than that, no.
That's the thing to it has hit that point where like, comedians
don't need to be there for a month to get an audience
anymore. Yeah, Yeah, You know what I
mean. But I like the idea of
developing a show for a month. Yeah, I think that's great.
I'll come back bulletproof like I one time looked at Could you

(54:59):
commute every day? Andrew Ryan did it one time.
Like I don't think he did the commute but looked at it and it
was cheaper to fly from London to Edinburgh every day.
That almost. The same, yeah, it'd be cheaper
to just do like a late morning flight, yeah.
And then last thing and they fled home over there.
If you if you're getting that flight for like £40 a day,
definitely cheaper. And your tour, would you like

(55:20):
to, would you like to plug in promote?
Yeah. Mikey Barton comedy.com for tour
tickets or what's the show Rocket?
How to think of something? Like Rocket?
No, like he's a rocket. So yeah.
So we've added Bunkerana Dairy. There's a couple other ones come
out until soon as well. So yeah, making border comedy.

(55:41):
Come, come see it. Probably the best are ever.
When do you do it for the first time?
Have you already home? Australia.
Oh, that, that's. That's actual start of the day
like. Will you like, will you wear
anything in Australia like out there like say at the beach or
anything that you wouldn't wear at home you.
Know that's Star Wars T-shirt was bought in Australia very
really I I don't look good in summer clothes so yeah.

(56:08):
You know you look your best then.
T-shirt, hoodie, leather jacket.Kind of I.
Yeah, something that covers all that shit up.
No, you. Go fuck, he doesn't look too
bad. Then you take the jacket off.
You got the fucking size. I fuck up.
Damn, look at me. Like, do you mean baby Yoda's
got a squint the eye here? What were you flying?

(56:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. I'm slumbering again.
I can't believe it. I actually change your mind when
you get there. Oh, I will.
I yeah, but I can't afford it. I did look at it as well and
it's it's twice as expensive as it was last year.
Really. Yeah.
So there's there's. I think it's fun to be a
complete novelty like I haven't done it since.

(56:53):
Australia business class thing. Yeah, but business class is
perfect. All flights that long, everybody
should have business class. I don't know how to do it.
Make the plane bigger. Yeah, give everybody we bad.
There has to be something because it's so enjoyable, to be
honest. Like when I flew to Sydney first
time I did business class ever and thought to myself I could he

(57:15):
could do a lap of this airport for an hour and a half and I'd
be happy enough. Yeah, course, when you're an
economy, you're going to get me off a Falcon.
Plane. Yes, yes, yes.
But again, 4 whiskeys, 2 cokes and you just.
Every other way, Yeah. Yeah.
We'll put the link for tickets in the description.
LA Z Boys podcast comes out every Thursday, Tuesday.

(57:36):
Tuesday, Tuesday. Thursday.
And we've live show on the 21st of September in Mandela Hall.
Tickets will be on sale by the time this comes out.
Yeah, and they're in the description below.
Mickey Shane, it's been an absolute pleasure.
It's been great to be here. No, no, no.
It'd be genuine. It has been a pleasure.

(57:58):
It's been a real pleasure. Thanks, man.
And I love you. I love you more.
And I'd like to hug you more. Do.
You want to hug it? We'll do it often.
We'll do it after, but we are you coming to Jockster even for
a coffee? I'll.
Call her for coffee, OK? I'd like it.
I'd like a team. Mickey Davis with a thought.
Thank you. You're welcome.