325. White Man's Magic with Tim McGarry and William Thompson

Sippers welcome! This week I'm joined by comedians Tim McGarry and Willy T.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Now, if that last 10 minute conversation had have been on
the podcast, that's explosive stuff.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm an ex lawyer.
We're Yes, particularly you. You.
Should you? Should not have said that.
I'm allowed to believe what I believe, and we'll leave it
there. Willie T is coming off the back
of a 2 day hangover. He was at the wedding on

(00:22):
Wednesday Podcast of Thursday. You were going to the second day
of a wedding? Yeah, last night.
But you said I'm either going tonot go or maybe you'll drive or
whatever, or do you'll not drink?
What? Do you think I did?
I think you're the at the very least had lots of drinks.
You said I was day two, Yes. What about you, Tim?
Do you think I was a man of my? Warder No, I think you're a good

(00:43):
Protestant man, a man of your word.
You thought what day of that I've had.
I've had some alcohol in the daybefore.
Today is a day of rest and I'll sit at home and read my Bible.
And that's why he's the smart one.
That's exactly what I did. I went, but I didn't drink.
Wow. Didn't drink, didn't drink.
Tim, where do you stand on this second day of a wet?
Ah, it's getting ridiculous. In my day.
You get married one day and thatwas it.

(01:04):
And you went home and you had a what is that?
A fucking week is I know it's like a week.
We've got like a pre party, the wedding and then the second day.
Come on, what's going on? Because you.
Stagnates or no stag weeks? Weekend, Yeah.
Four or five. Did you have a stag?
Yes, I did. What did you go on?
Your stag? Went to the pub with a few mates

(01:25):
around Belfast A long time ago. Yeah, a long, long time ago.
Yeah, very. Boring, so it wasn't a way an
away trip. No, we didn't.
Go away. You went away from Was it Neil
Delamare stag? You went to Barcelona.
Yeah, went to Barcelona for NeilDelamare Stag, but he's he's not
a great drinker. I know.
Yeah. In fact, I, I got annoyed with
him was one time we're at the bar and there was about 12 of
them and Garrard Farley and quite a few people.

(01:48):
But he's quite obstinous. He doesn't really take a drink.
Obstinous, Obstinous. Obstinous.
See the IQ team bring up way down to this room.
Abstinous means one I'm. Dying, I'm dying.
He's Shane bring that way. OK, sorry, forgot Protestant
underachievement in education, sorry.
Yeah, it's a well known phrase and word.

(02:09):
It's not well known in English. English.
English language act now. But it means he doesn't drink.
So. I was bang around in a bar in
Barcelona and I said, right, whowants a drink?
Blah blah, somebody, I thought. Extemius was the little area of
Barcelona as we're in. He wants somebody wanted a
lemonade, somebody wanted a Coke, and Neil wanted a glass of

(02:32):
water. And I said I cracked up for fuck
sake, this is a fucking stag weekend or a fucking retreat.
It was a lovely weekend. We went.
And so it was so messy and all of that.
So he played football. But there was, you know, but.
The stag wasn't. That messy?
It was the. Hey, it was definitely not

(02:52):
Lionel. Yeah.
I'd be absolutely infuriated by that.
I'm on your side there. No, you go to stag weekend, you
expect, you know, you get your pass for a few days, you go
right, I'm going on the lash. You can do.
One day because you get my hairpiece in Barcelona with the
locals there have been saying like Padre.
Yeah, absolutely. Everywhere I went, yeah.
It took me so long to work. I've been sitting for five.

(03:13):
Minutes. Your brain gone.
Barcelona, Yeah. I'm trying to say Abuelo Andre,
but Abuelo is Granda. Yeah.
What's Uncle? Uncle, I should know that I have
an A level in Spanish, but I should know that.
I'd like to see. Buello 1 Tio.
Tio. Tio Andre.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get my pieces so much sexier in

(03:35):
Spanish. Do you wonder?
Yeah, that's great. And I had.
Another good joke on that stag as well, by the way.
Will you bring in the party? No.
I was very plea because this, because Neil Delamere had a
goat, because I was flying from Belfast.
I went from Belfast and flew from Dublin to Barcelona.
And Neil Gallamer says, ah, you flew from Belfast.

(03:55):
No, sorry. I drove from Belfast to Dublin
and then for and Neil Galleries.Ah, you've been in, you've been
in three countries today And I said no, no, no.
If we go to Spain, I'll be in four countries.
Catalonia is an independent yes,Jesus the level of education
among. These people.
Catalonia. There's been a big dispute about
independent Catalonia. Trying to get independent.

(04:17):
And cut Northern Ireland and. I didn't recognise it the.
Satire is not going well and thetea with me.
It's not really your thing. Timothy, I did key skills I I
didn't. Do Spanish.
Never called Timothy. Timothy.
Sir, I for the one guy who said his running need for sunglasses
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(04:40):
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(05:01):
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Don, give us an example of pricethat's happened on that
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And that's probably worth what? Like a grand. 6K cash is the
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(05:22):
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How many tickets have been sold for?
So at this moment only 3% of thetickets have been sold.
Jesus. Christ, will you take the watch
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(05:45):
patreon.com/tea with Me podcast.We've got it all going on over
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None of this you'll be missing out on this.
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(06:06):
everything on there with bonus episodes on a Monday live stream
Fridays five years. One of the content of all the
specials, the Boozy Bake offs coming next month.
End of this. Month end of this month down.
You're spoiling us. You're spoiling us.
patreon.com/T with me podcast. The link for everything is in
the description name. I'd love to see.
My head. So I thought we just got to talk

(06:26):
about Justin Timberlake. I want to see I.
Heard him last, were you there? Last night, Tim, No.
Was I there last night? No, I live where where Bell
Sonic is and it's a see. Tim is a big **NSYNC purist so
he doesn't like doesn't support their solo.
Yeah. Careers.
But I know you're a big **NSYNC a big boy.
Yeah, yeah, BLT are playing tonight.

(06:46):
BLT. On the Gate subway.
BLT though there is he not playing tonight?
Yeah. BLT.
Who's playing tonight? Tomorrow left, left the group.
It's just BL. I can't go to that.
BT, KB, KT. Is it a DJ Tim?

(07:07):
Yeah, okay, Martin Luther King'sbag and you're.
Going to. DJ Tonight being okay.
Would be okay. I was close.
Are you are you going? No, I live opposite.
I can. I can see you wandering in just
to tell them to keep it down andthen.
Well, getting. Spiked and just getting well
into it. I went to see Madness.
They were good, yeah. They are brilliant.

(07:28):
Now, but they're every every guyI saw going to see madness,
every day I saw going to see madness.
Yeah, had had Fred Perry on somesort of Fred Perry polo shirt
and and two pints in hand. Yeah, absolutely.
There was a lot of two painting going on.
Yeah. It seemed like a great
atmosphere. I we were saying that actually
would have been a great one to go to.
There's a lot of, you know, likea lot of Protestants love
madness. Yeah.

(07:49):
Is that right? Yeah, weirdly, loyalists love
Scar. We have this guy.
I do not know why. Not Guy.
No, not no. Scar not Guy, No, that's what a
lot of them say. Yeah, but they fucking, they
love Scar for some reason, yeah.You'd be 40 and Madness would be
two big loyalist bands. Like, really?
Oh yeah. Why Johnny Ador was shot that
are you to. Be in the head, yeah.

(08:09):
Yeah. And then continued singing Red
red Wine I. Believe he was exiled and then
he came back just for that concert and they were like why'd
you come back? He's like.
Bang you before you. Before that guy I'm going to
come back from. Work.
I'd give my age away. I was at Glastonbury in 1983.
Wow. UB40 with the main act with a
headline. Oh yeah.
You were there in 1983. 1983, yeah, when there was proper

(08:32):
tense and stuff like that. This is I'm not being cheap.
Were you there when Glastonbury started real life?
What year was that? I told you?
I don't know how you told me it.Was 2001.
I believe it. I don't know.
Was it like a pilgrimage to get there back then?
Like, would you? Oh yeah, quite a lot of the way
in. We didn't have cars in those

(08:56):
days. You ever have to.
Take a pass and chefs over hundreds died on the pilgrimage
class number. Go by Australia.
It was three groups to get in Who?
Was it? Who was the header?
You'd be 40. You'd be 40 header.

(09:16):
And did you go proper, like camping, like all?
Yeah, yeah, because I'm not a festival guy.
You're not. I can't do the.
You can't do tents or. I can do camping as a separate
trip, right? I can't do camping at a festival
because I feel vindicated. Because I've seen footage of
people at Glastonbury today and the biblical rain, and you know
what that means? They're going to be jumping in.

(09:38):
Shit. Yeah.
And they love that. You don't like that sort of
thing? No.
Literally a pig and shit that guy.
Yeah, the little warthogs out inthe festival.
Here we run the boat like Pumba.Yeah, loving it like.
Because if you're going to, if you're going to try and not get
dirty at a festival, you're spending three days just being
weird and like staying out, you've just half the embrace.
You're going to be dirty. You will sleep in muddy clothes,

(10:00):
the muddle dry and you'll do it all again the next day.
It's great. It's a great time.
I can't think anything worse than that.
I went to tea in the park, slept, had a big big sleeve of
many Cheddar's for a snack but apparently during the sleep
you're mental fell out of my bagand I just rolled all over my
tent. So we just came out covered in
mud and many, many Cheddar's. And guarantee you at them.

(10:23):
Absolutely did 17 day of sleep they're getting eaten.
Was was madness wild him? Wild isn't quite the right word
because it was gentlemen of a certain age and ladies of a
certain age, you know, there wasa bit of daddy dancing and a bit
of. Just half an hour stretching
before before the. One step beyond.
I don't know times it's over it.Sure, mate.

(10:44):
You're you're quite a tall guy. I could imagine when they do one
step beyond you get the legs kicking it off.
Yeah, yeah, see me trying to do an impression.
Someone with long legs just looklike I'm in Thunderbird.
But yeah, so that was the last to me in what, the 80s?
1983. And was it?

(11:07):
Was it like a good atmosphere? It was Berlin, Yeah.
No, it was really good, really good fun.
Eye opener as well. You know, kind of not just their
bands and all of that. And it was a supported by
Greenpeace. Muddy feels there were hard what
we're called hot knife stands. I'd never seen this.
The drugs were were hot. Knife.
Do you know what? I know what a hot knife is but I
was like, this must be somethingdifferent.

(11:28):
Hot knife stand basically you paid money and a hot knife is
basically you get some dope and you heat up two knives, Timothy,
and then you put one knife on top of the other and the smoke
is very intense and then you suck it up through a bottle.
No, I wasn't. I was viewing these rather than
partaking, and I was. Just getting the real real Did

(11:54):
they help? Buckets fucking your day.
Buckets. Buckets.
So do we have? Buckets.
Buckets of? No, but like.
Buckets have been invented for along time.
My. Friend not these buckets.
So like get it like A2 litre bottle.
Sorry, this is like a BBC Three document, you see, where two
generations get to talk to each other.

(12:14):
The fact that Did you have buckets?
Oh had buckets. I'm having this conversation.
So you sort of you caught a holein like the top of a three litre
bottle and 50 questions like tinfoil and a bit of dope and
then you light it and then the smoke will come down through the
bottle. Then you take the lid off the
bottle and then pay all that. Well, this is kind of something

(12:36):
similar. Yeah, similar, similar.
Sort of thing, but they had officials well stands like when
they were selling these sort of things and you.
Go. I like that you.
Were like are we loud for innocent loud from Belfour go
what jokes like openly open? Tim, have you ever smoked?
Didn't nothing for me. Did nothing for me except get me
addicted to bloody nicotine. Yeah, that's genuinely, you
know, I don't do drugs, don't like them, No.

(12:58):
But it's not too late to get into the.
Game Well, do you know what you know I've got I turned 61 this
week. Did you thought?
Yeah. Perfect time to get into the
Coke. Well, actually I thought, you
know why not? You know who's gonna she's gonna
shout at me for, You know, do you?
Know even though no one no. One she and toy.
I got a couple of bumps. You keep going here, you know.

(13:19):
Even though no one mood you would.
Take it you say you have, It's abump.
It's a bump. It's a bump.
Key some of some of them say. But the people are doping the I
was at something recently and there are people openly like.
Get my hairpiece. Live.
No, all the drugs that are gigs of prescription.

(13:39):
The rattling of people. So there's four, There's a.
Lot of them all came for your tails.
Don't you forget. Insult to my audience.
Better. We've been very wide, eclectic
audience. Have you guys finished turn?
Yeah, we're on sale for the nextyear.
Actually, we're on tour with Give My Head Peace next March.
Yeah, last weekend we don't stop.

(14:01):
No, no and yeah, no, it's it's good.
And we've found recently crowds are getting a little bit rowdy
these days where I have anyway, I sort of dragged you into that
without asking you crowds are getting a little bit rowdy.
Do you guys ever get rowdy members?
Yeah, drunkards and stuff. People who don't know how to
behave in a Yeah, I don't. Know and how do you do look as
we can like you know on standing.

(14:21):
Just go fuck up. Yeah, well, I I just tell them
to shut up. I really don't like them.
Don't like drunks, you know. Well, they did get in trouble in
the opera. I've told us before.
I was in the Opera House on March the end of March there and
last one of the last shows packed theatre and all of that
and there was a guy sitting in the front row with this thing
looked like a camera. He was filming the stuff.
So the cast is back. Somebody's fucking filming

(14:43):
there. We'll go to front the house and
front the house and they would deal with nobody dealt with it.
I come out and do a stand up, but this guy's sitting there
with this. You know, this is going and I go
are you filming this? Didn't you're not supposed to be
for turn that fucking thing off.Turn it off that of course it's
his hearing aid. It was a care beside them

(15:04):
ticket. It's just hearing insulting
again. Why was he holding?
I don't know. It was like a pack, but with
with a light on it. You know what?
It was roll right? OK.
Yeah. It was like this pack.
Yeah. The hearing loop thing.
Hearing loop thing in the arena,right?
Then you. Yeah, so I basically insulted so
so. The fade from the microphones.

(15:25):
They give him a box and he plugshis ear into it.
Something along those lines, yeah.
But it did look like. My dad, my dad would call that
and it's completely wrong, but he's 75.
White man's magic. He find ourselves somewhere.
We'll tell him I'm 61, man. Oh, give a ring, Tim McGarry.

(15:51):
I can't. I can't.
I can't be on the news. Who's the blame for Tim McGarry?
I can't. This is part of like you have a
long game plan supposed to blamegame, but you.
Get completely, completely we, Angus said the BBC Lady Jenny
odds because. Do you remember that?
You say you're going to Angus date them?

(16:11):
Do you remember that episode of Have I Got News For You?
The first episode after his yes.Which is crazy for prostitutes.
But the crazy thing about that is like if he did that in 2025,
nowadays if I suspend them for acouple of weeks, yeah, like back
back then, he was treated like awar criminal.
Well, initially they didn't suspend him.

(16:33):
The BBC didn't even really punish him.
The reason they had to get rid of him is because I think Paul
Merton was friends with Angus Dayton's wife.
So then Merton kind of made it his mission to sink anything
Dayton did on the show. Trying to think, didn't that a
joke? I like to be like, all these say
it's like, oh, I'm Boris Johnson, disgraced publicly.
And Paul Mark. What's that like?

(16:53):
Yeah. And he would do it for like to
the point it was like, it's quite clear they will not work
together. Because that show was incorrect
when it was the original lineup it was.
Incredible. Very good, yeah.
And then there'd be some, like, guest hosts where you go, if
he's hosting it or she's not watch it.
Yeah, but like, but then it justchanged so much.
But there was the Jimmy Carr oneas well.

(17:14):
After his tax scandal. Oh yeah, the next 8 out of 10
cats he did. He was the punchline for
everything. Yeah, yeah, but I think him and
Sean Lock were friends, so it was Sean not going.
I need to take the piss out of you for this.
But it wasn't the same. Got very partial.
Yeah, good. Enough Merton.
Merton. Merton.
Merton, Merton, Paul Merton. Paul Merton's footballer.
Yeah. They Paul Merton played for

(17:34):
Arsenal. So I think he just had the
mission of I do hate you. Yeah.
We're going to sync the show. Like, yeah.
I got sacked out of the blame game one year and they decided
to do it Angus dating the thought to tell you what we'll
be like we'll be like if I get news for you in England, we'll
get a less stars to come and present for that's right and

(17:54):
then this is Northern Ireland and went all right who we're
getting all right I. Tell you what, the first three
or little bit OPEC, I think the first 3 or so were like people
you'd heard of. Yeah.
And then it just and then and then the campaign BBT bring back
Tim, led by Tim. Yeah, it only took two years.

(18:16):
But actually how did? This happen, I didn't.
Know 15 years old yeah like a long time ago, but it was it was
very upset. But there was a huge thing of
like, what the fuck? Just get him.
I'd be outraged with. William Crawley did one of the
radio shows and I like William. William's a bright guy, but they
normally tell me Delamare made ajoke and William said as

(18:37):
chairman said, but that's not true.
And Neil went, yeah, I know, William Joke.
I remember, I remember the length of OPEC one.
I remember when he was hosting, I was and I think he was dating
one of the cheeky girls at the. Time.
Yes, he was. So it was just it's just such a
wrong fit. And Eamon Holmes did one and

(18:57):
then and then they saw sent in the bro I've.
Just remembered him falling off the chair.
Yeah. You saw that in good.
Yes, it did. This is my favourite impression
he's ever done do Eamon Holmes after he's fell off the chair
but he wants the show to keep going.
They wouldn't. He wouldn't let the camera cut
back to yeah, So it just showed the guy looking really
concerned. And then you could just hear

(19:19):
Raymond's voice, but he was like, he was so embarrassed and
angry at the same time. And he literally says ah.
Don't look at me. And then just kept dropping in
like, you know, observations on politics as.
Well, from from under. A from under the desk.
I mean, don't burn the boats, but you know.

(19:42):
Anymore. Just seriously.
Gym memberships and there was a rumour that like one of the
screws on the chair been loose anyway.
But yeah, I don't know. Yeah.
No, no, no. It's if you're on GB News, you
lose all sense of balance. Yeah.
Get it? Hello.
Thank you very much. I.

(20:04):
Know they made him an offer tomorrow he.
Said I take it back, take it back.
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And then also what you can do with it is hide your IP address,
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show with Willie T last week. Me and Willie T said the Nord

(20:49):
VPN pretend we're in Belfast andwe were able to sit for three
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(21:13):
discount, what would they do? They go to nordvpn.com slash.
Tea with me, with me. And that's in the it's all in
the script. It's in any way.
Description all. They offer everything.
Thank you very much. I saw there was a one, an old GB
News presenter who was black is suing them for discrimination,
saying they are they're racist and and you're like, no.

(21:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.
Is it 24/7? I don't know.
I don't know. Is it like I'm not up at 5:00 in
the morning being like a second?Yeah, she meaners.
But is Arlene Foster on today? Yeah, she, she's on.
It Yeah, she don't Yeah, she does the 12th and stuff, doesn't
she? I think she's you should the

(22:00):
coverage of the 12th of July because the BBC wouldn't do it
live. Fox News went yes, and we'll do
it. Yeah, because yeah, the 12th
coverage has like the three, like the in footballs, the 3:00
blackout, right, which is a showon GB News.
After, but it's like there's an essence.
Yeah, you can't show it live andtwo people will go to it to do

(22:21):
that with the 12th and then havethat 12th Match of the Day
coverage, they'll be like Ballymena.
Yeah, that was a good one. I love the idea of the zone by
the 12th. They didn't have that.
They're like, see, he was marching here, he should have
been up here. Me and my family go to the 12th,
come home and then watch coverage of the period.

(22:41):
You were just that. They're like, and that was the
Belfast highlights. Over to Ballymena.
It could be all the same song. Tim, we've told this in the Paul
before, but you'll not know this.
So I think for two years ago, Willie, just text me out of the
blue one day and goes, mate, I just want to say let you go with
me. And I just want to say I love
you and I hope you know that. And I read that as like

(23:04):
something terribly wrong here. So I text them back and was
like, man, I'm putting the kids to bed here.
But if you need me to come meet you or just text me and let me
know where you are and I love tomeet up for a chat and that sort
of thing. The bastard was at the 12th
having a great time. He sent me a picture of himself
sitting outside Benedict's at Chelsea Square with a per Union

(23:27):
Jack song. Like 3 fat lads like.
I just want to say I love you. I thought he was going to kill
himself. No, I'm having the time of my
life. Do you not go to the 12th?
You know, the 12th mile. No.
I have no like. Affiliation.
Affiliation to anything? Would you Have you ever been to
1? I haven't, No, I did.

(23:48):
We do a true called the Long andthe Short of it about Irish
history, and I was in Derry for the burning of Lundy.
They burn Lundy every December. You Lundy, the traitor of 16.
Pretend we do. Yeah, Lundy.
Tell us who that is, genuinely. Derry 1689 Very important moment
in Irish history. Derry had fallen where history
would have changed. Genuinely, where did anyway?

(24:09):
But oh, is this when they were like barricaded in?
Yeah, yes, the walls, Derry, Derry walls, yeah.
And they tried. They tried to.
Starve them out. It's called the Maiden City
because the walls of Derry have never been breached like a true
maiden. Siege of Derry, 1689.
Heart and Hans sword and shield well guard old Derry as well so.
Guard old Derry. And who was this guy Lundy then?
Lundy was, he was the governor, but the the people of Derry

(24:31):
thought he was a traitor and he's regarded as like a Judas or
a quizzling or something. He's a traitor.
And was he a traitor or? Well, then we did a whole
documentary, part of the long and the short of it.
Find out not really Protestant underachievement.
How is this happened? I do not know.
You do not know your own buck inhistory.
No, I don't know. The point is.

(24:53):
I don't know the ones we win. When you won this one, you
didn't know it. See to dare.
You won that one. Prods won the nil.
They don't teach us. Our history starts in like 1995.
They don't teach us. Before that.
The way you said that like a football score and house mule 1

(25:15):
Martin nil prods won takes. Anyway, the point is The
Apprentice boys dare have a big thing and they they they burn an
effigy of Lundy every December and the was the first time at
that sort of a gig where there were thousands of loyalists and
bands and stuff like that. And the crack was excellent.

(25:35):
No, partly because it's done allthat wasn't moved to selfish.
It wasn't necessarily your average Catholic.
But I would say like I would bring.
Genuinely, there was a nice family atmosphere.
That crack was good, you know? Yeah, I really enjoyed.
It I'd be the coolest guy at the12th if I managed to bring DA,
Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, yeah, no, I I reconsider

(25:55):
my. Gig in the field as well because
they're a stage and instead of the mainstage is just guys
talking about the Bible and feelings are taking over and we
could have a sort of sub stage. I'll tell you, there's a lot of
hot knife stations going on likethat.
There's a new B40. I have been offered ones like
that though, like bonfires and stuff.
It's like, would you come do stand up on it?
And I'm like that You don't wantthat?

(26:17):
No, you don't. It would be the worst idea.
Yeah, it would be. And you would.
You would be. Very like early Hitler with it
like you would go and all of a sudden you would you'd be doing
your set early. I'm just wearing paintings you.
Would be doing your set. They wouldn't be that into it.
Then you would go, I'll say thisstuff I know they'll start
liking, and then all of a suddenyou're leading a revolution.

(26:39):
All of a sudden I'm on UTV and I'm up.
You're reducing your photo of that.
Yes, yes. We will, like, you know, yeah,
on the March. I turned the Christmas tree
lights on the Shankle one year. Did you?
Yeah. Flex did the countdown in Irish.

(27:01):
What year was that? I was a few five look at member
just 5-6 years ago more. Yeah, you have done Christmas
lights before. Like switch on.
I did Hollywood here. Did you I've.
Never. I've never done them anywhere.
In like 2018 or something. No I'll be honest.
A bit like reinstate you to the blame you.
I was behind the campaign. I was like, I'm only joking

(27:25):
about that, but I actually was. I did basically get in touch
with the console was like you'lldo it.
Let me do it. I had a stand up show about me,
about my dream being the switch on the Christmas light and I.
Needed my friend. What think big?
I needed the end. I needed it to have happened for

(27:46):
the end of the show. So I had to get in touch with
them and go. I would like to do this that
asked me the year before and I couldn't do it.
So I was like I would like to doit this year and I did it and it
was me and the mayor S of North Down, whoever that was at the
time. And we got to the podium bit and
the person talking us through a coach.
I was doing like 10 minutes of stand up, which is great because
I was just talking about Hollywood.

(28:07):
So it actually was really good. And then they go, then there'll
be the countdown and you do the whole thing and there's a big
red button and and you know, sheand obviously you had it and
that sort of thing. And that was to be the moment.
And first he was filming for to wrap up the stand up special
that we were doing. And at the last minute, the
mayor S just pulls the mayor S card and goes, listen, I'm

(28:28):
hitting the button and I said, no, you're not.
And she said I'm the mayor. SI hit the button.
We do the countdown together butmy hand hits up button and she
was at it in her 60s. So when we got the three, two,
see when we hit one, I hit it, elbowed, I hit it, we have the
footage, I hit it and she was livid.
I got to be quick to beat your big fucking fingers too like you

(28:51):
have. You have to be quick.
It's not this kind of episode. No, but I mean, you know, just
your big claw, like you have to be quick to beat that.
Do a big, long big. Hand.
I don't have necessarily a big hand.
Did you have a? Huge hands.
They had their tiny hands. You have very thin fingers.
Yeah, well, who's the hands of acreator, an artist or not the

(29:12):
hands of a Workman? Terrible.
You look like a wizard cast in aspell.
That's. The Reader, Lord of the Rings,
I'd love you to be in Gandal. Yes, that's what I'm.
So good. Give my hairpinch they need to

(29:33):
do Lord of the rings. 100% we dothat.
I'm fertile by no, I'm Orlando Bloom's character.
Yeah. You're Sarah, man, and you're
Gimli, and all you need to do for that is a ginger beard.
Yeah, Gimli. Gimli.
I'd be a great we Gimli, but no,I have we Hobbit fate too
though. Tim, who's your favourite Irish

(29:55):
historical figure? Or is there someone like people
wouldn't necessarily know about,but you think it's an incredible
story? George Stuart Parnell.
Is he Parnell? People say Parnell.
Is that him? Yeah, well, some of these
technique Parnell, but the most modern people call him Parnell,
but he called himself Parnell. Joshua Parnell, Protestant

(30:16):
landowner from Wicklow, became the head of the Irish Home Rule
movement in the 1890s, 1880s, eighteen 90s, brought down by an
affair. Well, not really an affair, but
it was a big scandal. Yeah.
And 1889 because he had an affair with a woman called
Catherine O'Shea. You were all the pubs around
where Kitty O'Shea heard of Kitty O'Shea?

(30:37):
Yeah. Charles Stewart Parnell was
brought. He was the head of the Irish
Home Rule party. They were doing very, very well.
This woman, O'Shea, was married.A guy called Willie O'Shea had
the marriage ended year. It was a name only.
But then William Shay hated Parnell and exposed the fact
that he was getting divorced andthat Parnell was having an
affair with his wife and became a massive, huge scandal and

(30:58):
Parnell was condemned from the pulpits and split the Irish Home
Real party for another 20 years.But he could have been.
He was known as the uncrimed King of Ireland.
So if he hadn't have been a dirty bastard, what effects?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It was an entirely legitimate
affair. This woman was the marriage had
broken down and they loved each other and married and eventually
had Tim. It was 200 years ago, you're not

(31:19):
fixing it now. You don't need the PR.
This guy right? Damages.
Don't Jeremy Kyle. Yeah, 1890s, not 200 years ago.
Yeah, I don't know about the Mavs and projects schools, but
you know, 3. 100 years ago, but what would have been the
effects? We could have had Irish home
rule, we could have had a home rule in the United Ireland about

(31:41):
the 1890s. But he just had there.
He just had, I mean, you didn't use your pros.
We're going to fight it, but. What a kiddo she look like
though. We need to see pictures.
Well, there aren't photographs and there are other photographs.
A kiddies. That's a good girl, I'm sure.
Nobody back in was hot anyway. I think it's the.
Well, yeah, nobody smiled in those days.
And photographs. Yes, I.
Don't think you could. Yeah, there was a thing on Radio

(32:02):
4 about why people all smile now.
And photographs from the old days.
They didn't because they just didn't, I thought, because you
had to keep still for five seconds for the photograph.
Yeah, it was not. So you couldn't hold a lot of
face. Roger Casement Casement Parks an
interesting guy as well. Yes, he was he Protestant.
He was Protestant project Casement was educated in
Ballymena, which Casement went to school in Ballymena Roger

(32:24):
Casement's father died in the Adair Arms hotel in Ballymena so
the I think you should build casement park and then move it
to Bally you're. Going to be.
Popular solve a lot of the issues.
I did love the guy who you come on Nolan's show, you know,
complaining. Hold on.
If the casement park goes ahead,the Republicans you know they'll

(32:46):
do. They'll rename it after some
Republican or other. No idea who's Roger Casement
was. I would love one guy to phone
into the Norman show. Just go.
Just like, you know, I'm loving life, I mean.
Cheer up. I don't know.
Going brilliant. Yeah, everybody's happy.
Because wasn't it like Friday was the more light hearted one?
And then it just started to get like all the.

(33:07):
Rest Yeah. I just love one guy to be.
Nightmare Sun's out. Smile.
Yeah. Can we buy a crisp thing?
Have a good time. Taps off No.
Keep yours on. My favourite local showbiz feat?

(33:28):
It's only going to be settled atMisfits Boxing.
We ever do. Comedians.
Boxing. Blocked on Twitter.
Yeah. Yeah, Twitter.
Why? Because I have no idea, I know.
No idea. I said I've said it on the Paul
before and I said it to him and he's like, I don't know what's
it, but I had a lot of followingunfollowing right from his

(33:49):
account over the years. You know, just no rhyme or
reason. Right.
So but then I did a show over the phone like a few months ago
and it was, it was a good interview.
But then, and he obviously triesto, you know, I, I felt during
it that there was, it was like arule of three where there would

(34:10):
be like 2 questions, 2 like questions.
And then I put you on the spot question.
And then I felt like I was doinglike, you know, the GIF of like,
Zach Galifianakis, when he sees him all, yeah, I'm ready then
for the third one. But then I don't know.
It's just then also when he's doing those interviews, I think
there's like a whole team in theearpiece.

(34:31):
So it's like you're actually going up against like 10 people.
You did one of my favourite bits.
You ever used to love this bit where you would talk about how
he always tried to end the show on a light note after a very.
Oh, the episode was the TV show.So I did warm up for it.
And I told you I did warm up fora series of Nolan Live.
This is maybe 10 years ago. So it was like the IT was a huge

(34:54):
break for me because the money was great.
You were sort of. You felt like you were in BBC
all of a sudden. And you found your audience.
Exactly. And the first week I went to do
it, I had a dressing room and I you do 15 minutes of stand up at
the start. And the first week was
unbelievable. Had this dressing room.

(35:16):
The set was great like I did 15 minutes of stand up.
Crowd were well into it. I'd another nine weeks.
It was horrendous. Every mice.
First of all, they made a mistake giving me the dressing
room. So the next week I showed up.
They were like, you should neverhave had a dress.
I was like, I don't need one. And they were like, yeah, well,
you don't have the dressing room.
And then the set was always terrible because the people

(35:36):
there were there to talk about horrific things, like horrific
ordeals they've been through. And you're in 15 minutes of
stand up that nobody wants. Like nobody wants it.
But I noticed on the show, the last interview would always be
like there'd be a select to be abit of politics at the start, a
celebrity interview. I say celebrity.
Yeah, someone on. And then there would be

(35:59):
something like heroin. And it was people from the front
row were sort of brought on or the camera will cut over them,
but they're the front row eyeline if you're set.
So I'm like, why did that guy not like my bed about, you know,
does from Northern Ireland lovinand Auster Fry.
And then 40 minutes later I'm like, because he's here to talk
about something horrific. It happened to.
Yeah, but he would. He would have a musical guest at

(36:21):
the end, but the harrowing interview always came just
before that. So he would have someone someone
would be like my belt was like someone would be talking about
horrendous ordeal that her wholefamily went through and everyone
be on the edge of their state ina single tier would form in a
corner of her eye. And it was just a bit to roll to
the bottom of her cheek and no one would stop her.
Go Charlotte gonna stop you ladies, gentlemen, let's head

(36:41):
single waggon wheel. Let's go nuts for Nathan Carter.
And I believe she and The thing is, she would still be on the
stage crying and the culties would just be absolutely loving
and. That was your favourite bit of a
story? It's hard.
It's a hard, but I just love that idea because I just have

(37:01):
that image in my head of just like and hopefully we can't find
justice for your son. All right, throwing Chico in a
in a bath of baked beans here, which I love the show more if
they were talking about, you know, horrendous murders and
Chico is chipping in from the we're going live to the bath of
baked beans. We'll see the results of the
inquest, of course, when they come out.

(37:22):
But ladies, gentlemen, the cheeky guards are back.
Let's go. There was also the Super fine
guy. So during the show that brought
some fella in some really awkward guy into the green room
and introduced him to me. And when she and this is Michael
or whatever they went, he's a he's a super fan.
He's really excited and left me.But and I was asking him about
yours or I was asking about all gigs he'd been to.

(37:42):
And I was like, you know, thank you very much.
And he he had a thing he wanted to get signed.
And then toward the end of the conversation, I would, do you
want me to say that? He's like, no.
And I went, Oh, maybe he's like got a condition or something.
He was a fan of Spandau Ballet, who were on the show, but no one
told me that. So I was talking to him like he
was a huge fan of me for 10 minutes.
And I was like, God, he's so nervous.
He can't even look me. Me.

(38:03):
You did a gig respond through ballet recently.
Tim McGarry, William Thompson and Spot Alley.
Oh, you were the BBC, Yeah. Was this on the Fantasy Boys
cruise? They were wet.
Well, well, that's a different man.
Yeah. And it's 3 wet.
That's you doing a wet, wet, wettribulation.

(38:24):
You don't know. I don't know.
Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where.
Yeah. Sex of us.
And we all want to do it. We're fucking soaking.
So what was the game you Tim andspan the ballet?
World it was 100 years of BBC Northern Ireland wasn't.
It it wasn't bad. Yeah, and.
You were there at the first show, so yes.

(38:45):
As a 40 year old man. That's where I know my history.
But yeah, it was like the 100 years of BBC.
So they had that TV pilot of it.So I was doing what you were
doing for the Nolan Show for that.
Very nervous, terrified. Tim wasn't helping.

(39:10):
Because it he's probably coped up.
Every every time I came off likeit was the initial it was hard
at the start and every time I came off people were like you're
doing fine, don't worry about them.
So my going you're fucking shit.That is not true.
I came. Off these like hard crowd.

(39:30):
Thank all for our generation stand up.
Nice to the guys. Coming through, Yeah.
Who else was supportive? So what does Spandau Ballet have
to do with 100 years with? People, that's a very good
question. I.
Think they were available? Is It Just the True is a great
song? The data?
What's the one through the gold?Through.
The barricades. That's a great song.
Yeah, that is a great song. It is a song I.

(39:53):
Know one of the songs of all? Time I mocked that song once
because I was like what's this you know Oh yeah you know the
the been to Belfast once and they write this song and I was
like is it like a glory hole kind of thing like through the
peace one and then someone told me the real reason for the song,
which is like a heartbreaking real life story about somebody
they know and I was like. I don't know, I feel really bad.
Great song actually like. But Christine Lampard was who

(40:15):
was the nicest person I've ever met so.
I'm in the room here. You were in the room there, you
were a bastard. I got my revenge because we went
on to do like a wee speech and then you came off and I was like
fuck, I had the warmed up him and you did that.

(40:36):
Who else was that? David Quinn will go give my head
piece when a new actor comes on to give me head piece.
And there's 300 in this studio and Damon always takes him to
one side and goes, listen, don'tbe worrying about the audience
that. Don't be worrying about that.
That's 3300 people. Don't worry about them.
Worry about the 350,000 who are watching on TV.

(40:57):
All the. Best was, van was.
No, couldn't afford Van. Have you gigged this van before?
10 of you No, no. No, I haven't actually.
I showed a guitar to the edge a couple of weeks ago that was
great. Came to.
Feel you was. I sold the guitar to the Edge I.
Thought you said I had a star guitar.
I equally weird thought you saidyou got tarred by the edge as in

(41:18):
some sort of like prank and I was like, that's still pretty
cool. So the.
Guitar to the. Edge I sold the guitar to the
edge. Yeah, hold on.
You, Tim McGarry sold a musical instrument, a guitar to the Edge
from U2? Yes.
I was thinking of a different edge.
How many edges are there? The wrestler There's a wrestler
called Edge. Is the wrestler called Edge?

(41:38):
There's a, there's a huge wrestler called Edge.
And that's why I was like, how the fuck you know Edge?
Like tell. Me Edge surely has access to
whatever kind of guitars you want.
Edge has actually. What makes them go on to West
Belfast? Buy and sell on Facebook to get
in touch with Tim McGarry this. Is a this is a charity to you
was that and the Edge was the main guy there.
He was doing a talk and stuff and I was The Walking here.

(42:02):
So it's all killing a guitar. George Loudon, guitar.
So it's not one of yours? No.
Something right? I thought the Edge directly got
in touch with you. No, no.
Then I was like, I didn't know you're an axe man.
No, it was this exclusive charity dinner for 60 people and
he was the main guest on the head.
We're selling all these very expensive praises include our

(42:24):
auction items including a GeorgeLayton guitar.
Because that's a local company, isn't it?
George Yeah. Was it all like high profile
people at the auction? People with too much money.
Yeah, yeah. And.
He dropped out two people who were so much money, people with
so much. Yes, very obvious joke, but can

(42:46):
I like with your material? George Loudon came up and was
describing his guitar and all that.
I said, well, there's a man in the room who might be able to
actually play the guitar and theAge come up and give a wee jam.
And then because it was for charity, it was an auction and
there was a guy who was so drunkthat he was bidding against the
fucking age. And I said, listen, I appreciate

(43:08):
your girl, this is for charity, you're doing a great thing, but
you're bidding against the fucking age.
But I don't know much about him,but I think I used to worth
about 300 million. Would you keep going, my
friends? Are you consistent with people
like Will you being like with the edge like you were William?
Were you telling him shade in between or everything?
Or were you cozying up to the edge?
No. I was not cozying up to the.

(43:30):
Edge No. I just told him that one of my
first ever gigs was at U2 in 1978 on the Ulster Hall when
there were only 300 people there.
Oh wow. I'm still fell out with U2 I'm
sure. You're still fell out with you.
Because he thinks I'm hilarious,by the way.
Yeah, yeah, I'll probably be doing their warm up for the.
Timothy Spear and Big He. Said I was very funny.

(43:51):
Just you like zapping around theroof.
Jim Alter is an Arsenal. This might not working.
But I I used to have beef with you too.
I feel a lot of people. Well, let me know when I'll

(44:13):
speak to the Age, see if you cansort this.
Give them a ring for me. Remember, they put their album
on all our phones. Oh yeah.
Yeah, it was on the iPods as well.
Yeah, the How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb album.
No, it was. It was how to.
Dismantle an atomic bomb. It was how to dismantle an
atomic bomb. Wasn't.

(44:33):
I think it was. Songs of songs of innocence.
It was Songs of Innocence. Song of Innocence.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jane. It was Songs of Innocence.
There's other songs I wouldn't have minded, Yeah, on our
phones, but that. One which one in particular did
not mind? Joshua Tree would be nice on the
phone. Joe, you could have put
anything. It was the fact that I just got
notice, like I didn't want that on there.
And if you could have taken it off, it was fine.

(44:54):
But then when you put your songson shuffle and you're trying to
have like if we R&B throwdown and then just the songs of
Innocence, this came on. Did you ever look up how to
remove it? Because you had to go through,
you had to like go to the forestto speak to a wizard?
Yeah, there was like 80 steps toget.
Rid of 10, you could talk. I like I love the idea that the

(45:17):
edge came up the time after whenyou're really funny.
I like to set and Tim just blushing.
I love it, you big league numbers.
Here's a lot of. Play about yourself.
This maybe goes against the auctioneers code.
Yeah. But could you give us a ballpark
idea of how much you paid for that guitar?

(45:37):
Charity. Yeah, I think I'm allowed to say
I'm sure. Or give us an equivalent like
what could you buy with that? Same amount as that.
Oh, you could buy 2. Shame Todd Corporates. 700 grand
for. 22 grand he paid for. I thought it would have been
more. That's pocket change to him.
Well, of course. I think if you asked him for it,

(45:58):
he might give you it if he's in a good mood, if he's got can
have 22 grand. When we played that.
He brings us home to the family.They got a fucking guitar.
I asked you to. Get milk.
How many guitars have you got, Mr Hedge?
Mr Hedge. What was the 1st?
Concert. He's a very nice man.

(46:19):
What? Was the first concert you ever
went to? The very first concert I ever
went to, I saw Steph Little Fingers supporting the Tom
Robinson Band in the Whitley Hall.
Definitely. Fingers still going.
Yeah, of course you are. They do the, they do the
customer square every August. Yeah.
I never called a show, Steph. Little fingers.

(46:40):
I was at Justin the Brake concert last night and we were
leaving and saw behind the stagelike the the exit of him from
stage and it's like a military leader getting away from a war.
Like there's like 5 vehicles like on standby.
Tell you who's not driving them?Him.

(47:01):
No. Oh why you fucking like 2 weeks
for his tour started hammered. That's right.
Just doing fucking Donuts in thecar park.
That's right. Then he got he got a DUI like 2
weeks. Before in Vegas was it or?
Something. Yeah.
And he was like, you can't arrest me.
I'm on tour. And they're like, it's not how
the law works at all. That's why Tim constantly is on
tour. This Co officer.

(47:25):
I've meant to Castle lady. It's my birthday.
You have to do the forum come. On.
But it was it was mild. They just see that the frenzy
kind of around just getting him out of there.
And then he, I think he'd taken like a helicopter from Dublin to
Belfast, landed at half five in to do the show straight back to

(47:46):
Dublin. Yeah, well, get my headpiece and
Lauren is very similar to. That.
But I saw clips of him on stage.I mean he had like 4 coats on
and he just looked like a big awkward teenager who didn't want
to speak to anyone. He's just on stage.
Bond there was like it's cold init all right, sexy, but like
it's was it. It didn't look like amazing, but

(48:08):
I was not. I enjoyed it.
I think his his band were unbelievable.
Yeah, there was a lot of heavy lifting being done there.
The band were great. They had like a back in choir.
They were all great. He gave me the vibe of like, did
you ever someone your family like bring your girlfriend to
meet the family for the first time and she's like a wee bit of
a bitch. Don't speak to anyone, right?
It's like it's an effort to get,well, conversation.

(48:30):
He was doing a lot of like, you guys sing it and we were going,
you sing it, Yeah. Please.
Yeah. And there was, yeah, there was a
lot of like, he'd sing a line ofit and then stand back, and then
we do 10 lines of it. Yeah, yeah.
It didn't look amazing. We were.
Paying the singing songs. Yeah, who has a great routine

(48:52):
about that? Not me.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, that did look like viable of like the
contractor. Contractor.
I'm being paid to be here. Yeah, I'm that's not factual
obligation. That's that's the one.
There's the lawyer in them thereyou.
Go yes, yes, yes. Who'd be a better lawyer, me or

(49:14):
him? Well, who'd be a better lawyer?
Lawyer, lawyer? You'd.
Be a far better lawyer. Yeah, yeah.
Do you know any Latin? Do you know any Kerberus?
But Kerberus? Kerberus dog.
Cerberus. My Cerberus is called Kerberus.

(49:34):
No, my Kerberus is called Cerberus are.
You spending bars at me right now?
I know Cerberus is the three headed dog that.
No, he'd be a part of the underwater.
He'd be a better upweather in court, wouldn't you?
You'd be. Oh yeah.
I'd be the Johnny Cochran of. Yeah.
You not honestly nothing. Get me off.
You honestly nothing. Pardon.
He'd get me off. Oh, please.

(49:57):
Come on. Can I say something here?
Night. Sunday World love this.
I was at a certain gig a few weeks ago with me at the SSC
Arena. Yeah, right.
Kind of. First of all, thank you very
much for the wonderful opportunity.
You're welcome to steal your show because it was you did.

(50:18):
You did 10 minutes. And then you lads come on and
talked about wanking and having sex with his dead mother for.
I mean. And you know.
For a long time. I didn't want to be critical,
but you know. And he wasn't doing it.
Yeah. I went, yeah, you just can talk
about that for, you know, you can do one or two.
They did 40 minutes, yeah. I'm higher guys.

(50:42):
That's what I'm saying. And that's.
Yeah. So how much would get me off?
Get me off. Tim McGarry spotted with young
podcasters exclaiming get me off, get me off.
They're going to be a lawyer because I would just say I rest
my case on that. Play this clip there's.
Going to be a documentary in years time where they play this
clip but like like certain musicin the background.

(51:06):
Lied about having a helicopter, would tell young comedian.
I think I'd be a better lawyer because you know I'm
argumentative as fuck. Like I can't let it lie.
Even if the argument means nothing, I can't lose the
argument. But I know how to pressure
buttons. But you're too nice.
You wouldn't be a good lawyer. You have to have a vicious Yeah,
too nice. You need to have an anger and
you you don't have. I'd be like a soul Goodman, like

(51:28):
a Johnny Cochran. I'd be AI wouldn't care what
he's done. I'm like all I care about is
find you innocent. Don't care if you did it or not.
Yeah, I couldn't make peace. You have to do that as a lawyer.
Do you actually have to go like between me and you here?
Or do you ever? So I know, well did you do it
like if you're defending? No, you can't do that.
A complete breach of ethics. Serious.
Yes. But what if they offer it?

(51:49):
Do you? What if they go?
No. If your client tells you I'm
guilty, will you go in and say I'm innocent?
No, you can't. That's what really that's what
me I'm fucking paid that I wish not.
So they can't go less in betweenus.
I did this one and spoof your load.
No, you're done. Legal ethics.
Have you ever heard what you come now?
What you can't do is your lawyer.
Go. All the evidence points to the
fact that you're fucking guilty.I go, no, I don't care.

(52:11):
I still want you to fight it. And they will go.
Well, you're my client, even though I don't necessarily
believe that you're innocent. OK, Put your best case forward.
I genuinely thought lawyers had a moment where they're like
just. No.
Just so I know like. Like.
Just so know how to play us here.
What, like, would you, obviouslyyou argue with the opposition

(52:32):
lawyer, but are you like, friends with these people?
But then once you step into thatcourt, yeah, you have to just go
forward at each other. 100% yeah.
All the lawyers will know each other, yeah.
Oh no, just do it like we do with gigs.
We're like the opposite. Lawyer will come out.
You're like you were shy tonight.
Yeah. You have the murder what his
DNA? You're still lost.

(52:53):
Fuck, you're lucky to haven't gone hanging anymore.
What was your last case? When I was employment law, I did
for employment and sex discrimination cases.
Oh, wow. Yeah, I was an expert in sexual
harassment. You see, Ken, I shouldn't have
said that. As soon as I can, I can't.
Wait for a lot. Of this you will go.

(53:14):
Help yourself help. We're throwing you the rope and
you're just going. No worries and.
Maternity rights as well. Maternity pay and stuff.
Maternity because in the old days used to have pregnant women
used to just get sick. The boss had got really
delighted to hear you're pregnant, by the way, all the
best your new job. Oh, right, right, right.
And then they cottoned on to that because we took a lot of
cases and go you can't do that. So what they used to do is go

(53:37):
right there and wait till they came back to work and went
listen, do the way you were the manager of the company.
Well, now you're cleaning the bogs there, you know.
Well, that went on. So yeah, that's.
A very noble. Very well.
Do you know I'm a very noble person.
I'd like to say eliminated religious discrimination and
employee. It took me two years for
Employment Commission, the two years and then I've eliminated

(53:57):
sex community have to get a little longer.
Were you really know or were youever sometimes on the other side
being like she's shy anyway, she's fucking the baby factory
here. Your kids that on.
Was it is the same nerves in in the courtroom kind of like for
you much for you was it is the same nerves standing up in a

(54:18):
courtroom the same as stand up almost in a way.
It is actually, yeah, it's pretty similar now.
I wasn't a barrister, I was mainly the daughter.
I did represent a few people in smaller tribunals but I was
mainly preparing the case and getting a better paid barrister
to. Do what was the barrister the
one who stands up and is going? Right.
Even in tribunals who technically you don't need

(54:39):
barristers, but they have barristers because they're quite
complicated cases. You never get in the wig only.
No, no, it's I was a solicitor, not a bastard.
Yeah. Were there ever times you go and
see the judge who's presiding over the case, they go, oh,
you're a bastard. What?
Yeah. Right.
Right, not a mate. Did you ever?
Pay to have a case turned the other way or anything.
What? Was there ever any last minute

(55:01):
like you're like, what? Just one more thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, one thing bothers me.
Yeah. So imagine the way the pickle.
I can't imagine this. I'd like this is just how I
imagine they pick. The judge is.
Do you remember Takashi's castle?
Yes. And there's the sumo round.
Yes. And you draw a wee part, a wee
ball. Yes.
You'll be like, oh, it's the redone.

(55:22):
Yeah, that's how I imagine they pick.
The Did you ever? You see that you can't handle
the truth. That utter bollocks.
No, utter bollocks. Yeah, that makes no sense.
I feel legally that makes no sense.
Break it down for me. Well, why not?
Well, it well, the whole case isbasically he, he just confesses
in in court and there's no. Under no pressure.
No pressure. Was no rhyme, no reason

(55:42):
whatsoever. And he spends his time, you
know, making notes in a jotter and all that and all he just
goes, did you do it? I haven't did yet.
So you said William Crawley saidthe Neil that didn't like, how
does that make sense? And you're watching that movie
going well, actually, stop the film.
Procedurally, this was incorrect.

(56:04):
Did you ever, final question, did you ever have moments where
like you'd be preparing a case in one of them and you would
just spot something and go that's it?
Is that like a real buzz to go boom?
There. Yes, genuinely yes.
In employment cases you get bitsof documents and you go wait a
minute, yeah, yeah, I was yeah, because it was it can't be quite

(56:24):
boring work as well. We were doing a lot of
employment cases and people applying for jobs and saying
they were discriminate against. You look through everybody's CV
and look for interview notes andstuff like that and then then
you discover things. Do you ever like go to?
Court, there's a lot of people took claims for discrimination,
claiming they were discriminate against and to be honest they
were just Wick. Yeah, yeah, just.
Wick at the job, yeah. You're like you're, you're Yeah,
yeah, you're. The judge is like you're Wick.

(56:46):
Religion, Religion side, you're a bit of a bollocks, like, yeah,
yeah, do you? Ever have people you still run
into now? You'd be like, damn you,
McGarry. Occasionally get people going.
You got me a few grand that timenow.
You're like, what are you going to do for Tim?
You want. To get in the.
Have you got the title for a Juice show for me?
I got you 10 grand. There's Tim.

(57:07):
Tim's tickets are on sale. Tim wouldn't mind a wee line or
two, if you know what I mean. I'm not for the avoidance of I
have not now taken cocaine. There's.
No time that you're a massive cocaine like people and who

(57:27):
better to mentor you? You mentor me.
Well, he can mentor you. I'm like a week Coke Yoda.
But you don't do it anymore, no.No, no, no, no.
No. Just check my time.
It was no, not before, not before lunch.
Well, he hasn't done coke in days.
Well, that's really interesting.The solicitor, I would have

(57:48):
loved the baseless there, but I wouldn't have the attention
spot. Yeah, I'd get really two days
in. I'm the attention to detail.
I'd be like is he guilty or not?I'd get so bored.
So the tour, you just get my headpiece tours done, then
you're good. March next year and then a solo
tour after that and got more long and the short of it, the TV

(58:11):
I've got also got another podcast.
I've got a live podcast with theIrish History Boys.
You should come along. You might learn something.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
If we're if we're plugging live podcasts, Tim.
Oh, live podcast. Oh yeah, we have a podcast
called the Give My Head podcast.Oh, very good.
You've been on it. It's very he's been on it.
And you have just recorded an episode with David Jeffrey, and

(58:33):
I'm very excited to hear. That oh, it was brilliant.
It was really, really good. I love his bell tail football
player. I admire him, but as a Glen man.
Yeah. Him for the years.
Yeah. He put us through this guy.
Oh my God. Years of tournament.
He has put us. Before we get to that, can we
get to the plug first? Because yeah, that's very

(58:54):
important. 1010 you're always. Something to get 12th October
and the Mandela Hall give me a head podcast live get my head
podcast readings from some of the old episodes better startup
and stuff give yeah you're. Going to do readings of the old
script. Yeah, we're going to do readings
of the old scripts and stuff andwe'll.
Put the link for that in the. Description.
Thank you very much. Yeah, Chairman should do a show
by being embarrassed that like stories.

(59:14):
Yeah, legal stories, yeah. Yeah, there's some, some good
ones usually. That would be a really really.
Interesting dishonour. Tim.
McGarry dishonour, dishonour. I was going with Tim McGarry
gets you off so yours is a lot nicer than.
Tim McGarry gets you off. What about legally?
Great. Legally.
Wait, no. What about Tim McGarry loves
coke for your tour? Tim McGarry cokehead in

(59:37):
brackets. He loves it.
Bring Tim Coke. But I in all seriously, we'd
love to see that. As well.
OK, I gotta be so good. Yeah.
Are you a Glen Torn fan? Yeah, no, I've known this guy

(59:58):
for like 10 years and he's nevermentioned.
The ticket holder in 20,007. So recently we were with someone
and they went well, he what football team you support and he
goes Chelsea. But before he said it realised
that he's not into that much anymore.
He goes but I don't, I mean I don't know who manages him or
anything. Like he doesn't know anything
about football. No, although weirdly when I'm

(01:00:19):
steaming drunk I found out apparently I dropped ball
knowledge that I didn't know I had.
There was one time I like recently, I was steaming, went
up to my friend who's a big football fan and spent an hour
talking about how I felt AntonioConte was one of the most
underappreciated managers of themodern area era.
And then the next day he was like, yeah, I told you I was

(01:00:39):
Steven. And then the next day he was
like, yeah, what about Antonio Conte?
And I went who the fucks that didn't know who it.
Was it unlocks it, Yeah. So you're a big.
Sorry, I didn't know you're a big lemon, Tim.
Big Clifford, though, you're a big.
You're a big lemon. Back in the day.
I was. You'll see him at the next game,
right? Yeah, 100% say that.
See you there. Then we'll go to your show.
See about this. We'll put the description for

(01:01:04):
that live show in. Thank you very much.
I'm on tour Shame Talk, comedy.com and for my tour
tickets building up to a big night at the SSC.
Will it tell you anything you want to play?
Lazy Boys podcast mission and Mickey.
It's a fun time. Very silly is right.
It's everything very silly, Tim.It's.
Tim, for us, it's a little bit low, bro, for us.
Right. Yeah, for me.
Lazy boys. Yeah, lazy boys.

(01:01:25):
You wouldn't like it. Not as intellectual as this, no.
No, it's not as right. It's.
Not history, bollocks or whatever.
You know what happened, 1745? Here.
Don't know what happened in 2424minutes last year.
Anyway, the Irish History Boys podcast is very.
Which one? Which one are you listening?