330. A Yes Woman??? with Wafa Daldoul and Ciaran Franco

Sippers welcome! This week I'm joined by comedians Wafa Daldoul and Ciaran Franco.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Each Baker has been handed a shot card to make everyone else
down a shot. Bakers start baking.
Shot. It's descended into absolute
case. Fiona.
It's not an ingredients, but it's actually really good for
your bones. Shots, shots, guys, you've got

(00:26):
to have a shot. We need to change it.
You need the man the fuck up. Excuse me?
Let's get shots lined up, guys. Did you have a note on you?
Everybody shots to good health. Shot separate Kerati gulpers,
motherfucker. Shot, shot, shot.
Shot. Oh my God.

(00:50):
Sting now, then, Now then. Smashing this is this is the
worst thing. This is all you asked me just

(01:12):
before we started recording. Am I planning to grow the hair
right? I'm countless in opinion, right,
and I just I want honest opinion.
Don't like don't feel like you ought to be nice or anything.
I'm I think I might like grow the hair right?
At what stage? Down to the shoulders.
To what point? I don't think I can go down to
the shoulders, but because I don't want, here's what I can't

(01:36):
do. I can't grow.
I don't want it growing over me ears because it has that bit
where it sits on your ears and then you're doing that.
And I like as a like a very alpha masculine kind of guy.
I don't want to be doing this all the time, you know, because
that's not like that's, I don't want my kids seeing me do this.
Headband Headband player in football.

(01:57):
Like the headband ads of it again.
I can't do the headband either. I wanted to sit naturally
luscious, so I think I'm just going to have to keep game.
You, like, went out of your bodythere and you were like, yeah.
I'm just a man for her, like every day I take vitamins and
all so. You want?
Do you want to follow this? Pattern.
What do you do? You take stuff.

(02:17):
I take vitamins and then like, yeah, sure knocked down.
I took anti big. Flint Vitamin.
I think that's why my body's so hurry because during lockdown I
was taking like anti bold medication and I think it
reacted the wrong. Way I think.
That's a safe guess. Yeah, it was like order off
holding the Bart and it was likebasically that's my my neck
isn't. That why you have a moustache.

(02:39):
On my neck. I've got a moustache on my neck
as well. It's like sorry during lockdown
I started taking anti bald medication.
Yeah, my dad shaved my head at the back garden and I was like.
Did you want them to? Because the hairdressers were
shot. I don't know, I think this might
be the traumatic, most traumaticthing anyone's ever said.

(02:59):
My dad just lost the head. Called conspiracy theories.
It was this is the worst part. It was a beard razor as well so
it fucking hurt. Like just started trimming into
my head. So sorry that happened.
And then obviously there were parts of it that were like
patchy and I was going fucking on bald here, like.
Now was that feeding? Link, Yeah.
Was that more his cut or was it just like your hairline?

(03:22):
I think in my head it wasn't, itwasn't that bad, was.
In your head. Yeah, but I was going, where's
my head? Like a chess board here.
Like there are patches of black,white, everything so.
And you didn't think that it's the haircut, you just thought
you must be going. He immediately went.
That's it. Like I've got two years.
Left, I think your dad's giving you, I think your dad has always
wanted to be a Barber. He's giving you an aggressively

(03:43):
shit haircut and then people arelike, I don't think you cut that
right. Knees like Kieran, you're a ball
so. My dad, we're a fool.
Her. I ain't going.
You're the you're the anomaly. I don't.
Know what that word means, but Iam yeah.
I don't know. I want to kind of like.
I don't know if it looks weird or not.
Now it's OK, but it might in thefuture of that if that's the

(04:06):
question. It's not the question or the
answer, but I don't know. I think I want like, I just
want. I just want like something
different. I'm ready for a change.
Right. That makes it like a back.
You want to be like OK. If a punchline lands, just run
on the hand for the hair. Like yes, like it.
Yes. Oh, that'd be nice.
And then bring out the gun, Yeah.

(04:29):
I think see how it goes. It doesn't sound up.
Do you think this will be the best to get?
Yeah. No, no.
I mean, like, yeah, I think it'sdownhill from here.
Like, mine started really growing.
It started looking like Nacho Libre and it wasn't good.
Like, yeah, but like eventually there's there's a limit.

(04:49):
Where are you going with it? At the minute I'm I'm I'm
tempted to send in like Wednesday, tempted to get rid of
the moustache and go for a ballscut for going on holiday here.
Oh, really? Oh wow.
Better Michael Schofield present.
Oh, I thought, even Phillips. I could be more Phillips.
Me coming in, died, Silver hurt.Actually, you're doing that.

(05:11):
Yeah, I was concerned. Go to the barbers and ask for
ask for a Schofield. They're like, got you.
Walking in the library, a 15 year old boy like well that's
just ignore him, he's my intern.Super This episode of the TV
podcast is sponsored by none other than that Price Guy.

(05:33):
I'm talking about Ireland's largest competitions page, over
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Nine people become millionaires in the £1,000,000 draws.
He's doing things like when a house but you, you pick a house
because sometimes they'll just assign your host and you go, OK,
thank you for this. But it is in in certain name of

(05:54):
town that you look down on. What are you going to say done
next millionaire price 31st of August, 31st of August, another
millionaire will be made and tickets to get in that are
probably what 1000 lbs currently85 pence.
That is insane. Imagine you spend 85 P, you're
getting 15-P back from a pound and you go, I'm a millionaire

(06:15):
now that's nuts, isn't it? What would you spend it on?
Comedy, football, BBQ. That'd be great.
If you want £1,000,000. You showing off for?
Be honest. You showing off for it next
week? Be honest.
Yeah, maybe not every day. OK, nice to know that Dan.
Good vote of confidence, that prize guy.co.uk.

(06:36):
The link is in the description. We need to head you towards our
patreonpatreon.com/tea With Me podcast.
The Boosie Bake Off is on there now.
Me, Mickey, Welly, Deona, Dave. Andrew Ryan is the presenter,
Andrew Smith, former Bake Off contestant, as the judge.
Wild scenes. Wild scenes.

(06:56):
That's on there in its entirety as a Patreon exclusive.
It will only ever be on Patreon.I would say patreon.com/tea with
Me podcast. Well, have you experimented much
with your hair? What's the maddest thing you've
ever done? You've ever done a buzz cut?
Oh, no, no, no. I don't play with my hair, if
that makes sense. I did, definitely.
Yeah, it makes absolute sense. Yeah, I don't know.

(07:23):
I don't. I did.
I used to curl it a lot. I used and then actually my hair
was straight and then I curled it so much that now it's not
straight anymore. I've changed the nature of my
hair that. Yes, I when I was 13 or so, a
guy I went to school with was like, I do hair and he's like,

(07:44):
you know, come to my house, I'llbe.
Your hair really safe. And he, what we did was he like
classic, got a ball, put it on my head, shaved all the way
around, just leaving a bit on top.
And then he dyed my fringe like in front of my because back then
everyone just had the flick. Are you aware of this sometimes?
Now? Were you Morocco?
You Morocco? You've been in Morocco at that

(08:06):
time? Was that a Was that a haircut
the boys were doing? Yeah, this one, yeah, just
downtown. Right talking this just the
fringe, the shockwaves gaol, buthe just dyed that peroxide
blonde and I swear to God I leftthis house being like the ladies
will love this and the ladies did not love it.
I was like, this is Ben. What's?
More How old were you? 20 No, I was like, I was like 13

(08:30):
but I thought that was like the cop.
Yeah, it was Bieber fever when Iwas like 1415.
Yeah, I can't really don't know.But the switch to the hair,
like, but I was really chubby. So it's just like, ridiculous.
Were you? Yeah, It was a porker.
Like, what are you? Yeah.
That's why I like, you know, Wolf, Wall Street was like, I've
been resting. I've been power.
I'm like, I've been fat and I'vebeen skinny.
You're a simple man. Now look.

(08:51):
Yeah, I know. I like sort of, I look at
myself. There was a way where my phone
screensaver was me when I was chubby and I was like.
Don't. Let that kid down.
What did you do to get rid of itlike?
I just got taller, sort of spaced out, like in a moment.
You're quite skinny these days. Yeah, eat the same amount of
food, but yeah. Shut up we did talk about this

(09:14):
on live stream episode but was killed toddy the last time we
were together or doing that touching kill toddy.
No the. Touch, yeah.
That was the last thing we did. Yeah.
Yeah, All right. But we said on live stream that
we did like, RIP off of Kill Tony, and then Waffle went and
did kill Tony. Yes.
How's that come out yet? No, not yet.

(09:35):
Not yet. Is it gonna go out as a full
episode? I don't know, so apparently
there is. The last one that came out was
like 6 months old so probably itwill take a while.
Oh, they just have a big backlog.
Yeah, I think you. Should go and try and do it as
like a returning guest in Austin.
Oh, that was that the plan? Oh, is it I Yes, that's the
plan. You.
You're, you're really ambitious.I love it.
You're always like, doing stuff.I I wanna do it.

(09:58):
I I The only thing is I think ifI go, my name is not gonna you
know what I mean? When you do the extra mile, you.
My name might not be picked, butI want to go.
But I, I think you can like, yougive a heads up.
I think sometimes they're like, oh.
Yeah, I actually wonder if my name was pecked like it was like
spontaneous or they thought thatsounds weird, like a weird.

(10:19):
Name don't say Yeah. I don't think it sounds weird at
all. Yeah, I always thought that.
I always so weird. Yeah, I think partly.
Maybe they thought this is not your usual name, so let's get
this person. But you want to go to Austin to

(10:39):
do. It yeah, I won.
I'm I'm actually thinking, planning, looking at like
tickets and all and flights and what's the right time?
Yeah, I love this. Yeah.
Women supporting women. I love it.
I like you're always like gigging.
Yeah. That's great.
You're Donegal tonight, aren't you?
Yes, I am. Are you?
Yeah. Oh, I am a yes kind of girl.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(11:03):
It's a distillery. What will you say no to?
Yeah, I thought, that doesn't sound good.
Yes, girl doesn't. Sound good?
Instagram bio but you. Know what I mean?
Yes girl, if you know what I mean are.
You slogan, but, you know, when you try to plan things with your

(11:24):
friends, and there's always the people who are like, I don't
know. I'm always the ones like, yeah,
yeah. Yeah, but that's what you got to
be, right? You're Karen.
Karen Frank was a yes man. All day like.
You say yes to stuff I get honestly.
Stuff I'm like, why am I doing this?
Yeah, I can see. I can see you've been talked
into anything. Yeah, or like fucking why am I
here now? January 6th?
Let's do this, guy. I think you could be recruited

(11:46):
in the nearly any army in the world.
I would just be like, you're coming.
I ended up in some odd situations like where this guy
used to do stand up don't do anymore, but his mate near
enough ended up kidnapping me where like he was like getting
my van here I want to talk to you and I used to work in an off
licence and he was trying to like run up past me being like
is there a safe in the off licence at all?
I was like, why did I get in this random guy's van?

(12:08):
You got in his van. Yeah, and.
He. He walked up might you have a
problem with me and I went no and he goes then why are you
then? I am.
I left home and I went far enough.
So I got in the van way and we're driving and he was like
listen like you work not off. He's still not yet.
He was there, a safe, and I went.
I jumped out and started runningup the new lodge, but it was

(12:28):
like it was one of those mental.I rang Jordan Robinson, though.
It was like the most mental. Ring the police.
Ring fellow comedian Jordan Robinson.
Unless it's a, unless you need lighthouse facts, he's not going
to help you. Out some facts about that van
model. I love how the pick up line was.
Do you have a problem with? Me, it was like this is really
aggressive guy and I still remember my headphones was like

(12:49):
I'm just going to get the boss and he went now if you like me,
come on the van, I mean, I suppose.
You don't have to go. Did you have the moustache or
not the moustache? No, it's Baby Face that just
started stand up and this other guy is mate is mate was driving
the other comedian the loads of gigs because he thought he'd be
massive and then the guy doesn'tdo it anymore.
Not me. It's now away.
So yeah. Last thing, Jody.

(13:10):
Robinson got him, but he was like, just get in the van, I'll
give you a lift home, no bother.And then we were driving and he
was like, so here's the plan Kitand I went, how am I involved in
a heist here? Some of those mental experiences
like. It's more mental that you just
like got involved because he waslike, do you not like me or
something? Yeah, I'm going to prove to you

(13:31):
that I like you. I'll help.
You like everybody. I'm like, fair enough.
What's the gay, what's the 1 giglike recently that you've said
yes to that you went like, what am I?
What am I doing here? Like in a mad space or anything
like that. Yeah, it was, it was, it was one
that was one everything was. It turned out to be a good gig,
actually. But then it was it was in a
church. Oh, is this over in East

(13:53):
Belfast? Yeah, it was.
It was. And I was like, like I started
doing and then I swore. And then I was like, I'm sorry,
can I swear? Like, I was so confused because
I was like, you know, And then Iremember messaging the guy and I
was like, because I didn't have no idea about that.
I was just starting off. And I was like, what, you know,
what's the crowd like? And he's like, well, between 20

(14:15):
and 70. It's metal.
Men and women, I was like, well,that really now as a dad?
Where is it? Near the Beers Bridge Rd over in
East. Ohio, I know what you're doing.
I've never done it, but I know what you mean.
No, no, I think it was. It was a good gig at the end,
but it was the fact that it wasn't a church.
Jesus was Jesus up on the like? Was just watching stuff.
It was a. Because that's a lot of

(14:37):
pressure. He's behind you like.
No, no, no, that's that's that'sthis part.
Jesus. Picture.
Yeah, yeah. No, there was no G, but it's
just church. And then you see old people
there and I'm like, you look like you go to this church.
Ah, is this. OK.
But then they're the ones that love it like.
I know, yeah, I know. It was.
It was great. It was great at the end, but it
was initially. What's a modest gig you said

(14:59):
yesterday? Probably 1 in Dundonald the guy.
Once. I mean, that's all that the guy
was starting the end of. It the guy once called like Dave
actually, and I and Dave was like, don't do the gig and I
might do the gig. And Butler was like, don't do
the gig and I'm gonna do the gig.
Guys, like, do you have a problem with me as a promoter?
I'll do it, he said. The.
Show might leave, he went. Do you mind if you went on a
Sammy Mack instead? Sean Michael Levy was no one

(15:21):
name Sean Michael Levy like. Oh, I guess, you know, I had no
idea what you meant there. So he's like, it might be better
if you were a different name. Yeah.
Sammy Mack is a 10 out of 10 stage.
Yeah, Sammy Mack could be like, he's gonna play.
So she's gone down all the way. Yeah, but basically Germany were
playing Spain 2022 World Cup, turned it all off, put a
microphone on which there's a wheel out here to tell us a few

(15:43):
jokes. And then Sean Michael Levy had
to get up on stage and was just getting dogs abuse and you don't
know 5 minutes and brought me ondogs abuse and then the guy the.
Like they're booing or somethingor.
Screaming insults and stuff. Like like what?
Like what? What did they tell you?
Some guy goes, it just goes. The guy kept calling me get gay
and my reply was well I'm not. If you said it like that, he's

(16:08):
probably like my. Brother is, but there's nothing
wrong. I got in a van right there.
Was a van today as a stressful day.
I love this all happened in one day.
Like someone. Did you do your time?
Yeah, and then the guy cancelledthe gig after and everyone else

(16:28):
got paid. I was.
Like oh, we cancelled the Med gig.
Yeah, he was just like, this is ridiculous.
And then we went to the Sunflower after where I just
watched everyone. It was like their last one
before Christmas kill. And I was like what the fuck am
I doing? Yeah.
So that was definitely the mallest one where I was just
like, what am I doing here? Like.
And where have where have you travelled farthest to now at
this point to do gigs? I'm going to Donegal tonight, I

(16:51):
said that. Right whereabouts you know.
Oh, the you. Just said yeah, you'll check,
yeah. Yeah, I saw it's like less than
two hours drive, so I thought that's not too bad.
Well, Dublin that would be. Yes, Sir.
Oh, Malangar, you've done Malangar.
Oh. Mental.
Mental, yeah. What's mental about the
Malangar? Yeah, the guy got up and the MC,

(17:12):
I'm not sure if he's still the MC, but was the owner of the
bar, started MC and #3 in every act he would just start talking
about Madeline McCann conspiracytheories.
I just get really into it. Like, and at the end he wanted
like a photo of everyone. And look, Mcevan just went, now
we got to go take this away like.
I think he doesn't see it anymore, but he still overseas
it. Yeah, yeah, it's not a good.

(17:34):
Thing no. It came out to me before I went
on stage and was like, change, she's hot and show me a photo of
a woman. I thought you were about to say
Marvel and McCann. He goes.
He turns around and goes. They think she's hot.
And I went, yeah, he was from California.
Nice. And he went.

(18:01):
That's sweet bro. And he goes, I have a child
where nice. No, you don't have a child.
Metal Guy comic, whatever his name.
Is is that is that? Cormac or Connor.
I don't want a full name. I don't want a doctor.
Yeah, I heard he took some of the comedians at one time as

(18:21):
well. Was not there to like to show
them his office and his office was like in some sort of a
dungeon or something. And it was like one of the
scariest experiences they had togo through.
Yeah, that's one you need to sayno to.
Yeah. You want see the basement
office? Yeah.
No thanks. No, probably not.
See when you because like as well as doing stand up a lot,
you're like you travel a lot, like you're always in different

(18:44):
places. Do you gig when you are they
like holidays? You're.
Is that a work thing? Oh, like when I when I go on
holiday, you mean do I do a gig?I mean I yes when I go on
holiday and now I try to get andlike.
People say you take more holidays in Santa.
That's what people are saying would.
You like in Lisbon? Yeah, I did kick in Lisbon.
How was that? It was, it was actually really

(19:04):
good. I thought initially this is
going to be do you know what I mean?
I had to. Cancel my response to.
Show did you? How come?
Oh really? It's a nice venue because you're
going to do the same that I did.Oh, I'm doing that.
No, in in Lisbon, the one you booked, I think it was the same
venue. I.
I think I'm doing it. I'm giving it another go.
Yeah. Am I doing it?

(19:27):
Was there any poster drop or anything?
I think I saw you had Lisbon in your.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, I think I might. Yeah, Lisbon.
But it's a nice, it's an, it wasan, I initially thought, you
know, European humour. Yes.
Do you just do different languages when you're doing gigs
abroad? No, no, no, I speak yeah, no, I
do it in English, but I would like to try in France, English

(19:49):
and maybe French, but I have never written stand up in
French, but that would be cool just.
Translate. It I do, it doesn't translate.
When you walk on, just go Bonjour it.
Doesn't translate humour. That just does not translate.
Really. Yeah, yeah.
Oh no. It's French humour.
I know you have to kind of do the same.
Yeah, it doesn't. You can't because.

(20:09):
There's that guy who's like the French Seinfeld.
He's like a legendary French comic.
God, yes. God, Malay went to America.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. And then he was doing stand up
in English. Yes.
And that's what he said. He said the first time he went
to New York, he started translating and got booed and
everyone was like, what are you?What are you doing?

(20:31):
And then it took him a while to,yeah, start writing.
You can't just. Is he like Seinfeld I.
Don't think he is. No thank you.
He's like mates with Seinfeld. What's the deal with the
questions like that? I know.
I know how proud of it you were.Yeah.
'Cause I was. Like, yeah, your knuckles were

(20:53):
gonna wipe me A and. And he had to double check.
So what's, what's his relationship with signed?
Yeah, yeah. Was he like, like say?
Here we go. Welcome to Stardom Care.
Now you're going to Portugal soon, so yeah, you.
Should do this. Abroad, I'm going to try to done
Barcelona, which was really, really good.

(21:15):
The venue, the venue, not me. What's this guy talking about?
You know the sudden bypass did. You actually do?
Did you do like universal stuff?Mainly.
But there was. I came on stage, Yeah.
Sorry if I spoke too slow, guys.And the guy was like, no, you
spoke far too fast. Yeah.

(21:36):
What, did you have a weird backstage thing at that game?
Oh, this guy kept hiding my drinks.
And I was like, he was, isn't this fun?
I was like, yeah. Another comic, your team humour.
I would fucking hate that it wasdriving.
Me mad. I was like.
Stop people doing that, Yeah. Yeah, it's not fun like.
Stand up to him and go stop hiding.
So what, you would leave the room and then he put your drink
somewhere else? Yeah, so I was like, where's my

(21:57):
Coke? And he was like, where's my
drink as well? He was like.
But that is illegal. Yeah, he was like cooking when
I'm in span of a party, but 365 and he was like we need to make
this green room more fun. I was like it's fun for

(22:18):
everybody else apart from me. He doesn't have a drink and
about to go. Like a visiting comedian.
But a young boy, I hate people. A young boy like.
A man. How old?
You're a young boy, No care. 27 but no.
Him, oh him I'm. Going to be honest he could be
anywhere between 30 to 50 but he's big following 405050 LA 50

(22:40):
point 4K. Followers in LA comic thing to
do? Yeah, so rubbish.
I hate like. Were you upset and said a wee
bit I'll. Be honest, it was hurt.
Like, eh, yeah, it's on stage. Now you have to shut that down.
Yeah, it was eh, like even like all the New York comics over

(23:02):
there, it was a big universal go.
They were like, come on, just give the strength back.
And I got this is so weird like so but the first gig I've done
there was crap. The second one really enjoyed
like. Is this guy Beast in Barcelona?
He's all over like he's I don't give too much away in case like
he arrives here and starts stealing my drinks in other
green rooms. I want I want to be a moment.
To stop stealing people drinks. Just showing up the the path.

(23:26):
I hear it from. Yeah.
Was that that venue? It's class like it's social good
like the club. Hush.
What was what was the first holiday you ever went on?
Oh, in my life? In your life, Turkey.
Oh yeah, yeah. Is that not far from Morocco?
I'm from Tunisia. Shame.
I know, but question does that you know what I mean?

(23:50):
That's all the same. Region.
The same region I have been called Moroccan so many times in
my. Life, I've never done it.
I just asked you to close to Morocco.
And then I hate when I have to say, because sometimes I tell
people I'm from Tunisia. I'm like, no idea where that is.
And I'm like near Morocco and like, Oh yeah, I know that.
And Turkey, Where do you? I've been to ballroom in Turkey.

(24:12):
Oh no, I've been to Istanbul. The first time was Istanbul, but
I've been to like the Antalya and all that.
I've never been to ballroom yet,but I'd love to go.
But like, do you use holiday differently to us?
Like the way we as a people go on holiday and, like, do stuff.
Yeah. Do I mean like we go?
We go and don't do. Stuff We sit at the beach, we.

(24:33):
Sit by the pool as well. Sit by the pool, go to bars and
that kind of thing. Yeah, I used to not be like
that, because I'll be like you. Have sights here.
I was like, because I was like culture.
I had the beach at home and I had the sun.
I couldn't initially. I couldn't understand it.
I was like, why do people travelto go to the beach?
What is wrong with them? Sightseeing.
I'm not for like. But now, now I am.

(24:53):
I am less a science. I'm like, give me like glass of
wine. Yeah, a nice place.
I'm not for enriched cultural experiences.
Like, oh, I'm done with museums.Like, what is it else to be seen
like, right? More like a hair of a guy who
knows you know? Oh, this plate, this from 6000
years ago. I.
Don't care at no. If you want, because the world

(25:14):
didn't. Exist.
Or the castle? Castle.
They're all the same. Yeah, they're all the same.
Yeah. Edinburgh.
Castle is pretty good. Yeah, probably not.
See some of the castles here? We have an Ireland.
You're looking. They're like, Oh, yeah, this
was, you know, someone, the 5th of the Duke of something.
And you're like, I could climb this with my bear.
You could jump over it. Like, yeah.

(25:35):
You're saying on Wednesday, likethe Vatican, if you get pay,
give me 20 minutes, I don't need6 hour tour.
We're talking. Someone was talking about going
to Rome. Yeah.
Andrew Ryan. Yeah, I actually never been.
Said he took this big tour of Rome and it was like a six hour
tour. Here's what I say with tours.
Walking or cycling? Or it was in a wee cart for some
of the stuff I want to go see, like the Colosseum.

(25:56):
The big stuff, yeah, I'll pay the same price.
Just let me walk in there. 2 minutes.
Walk around and walk out, yeah. Same.
I don't want all the like build up stuff.
It's a bit like restaurants and stuff Now I feel like going in
and go just just let me order. Let me order and see him with
like airport add-ons and all this and all that.

(26:19):
Give me it all upfront. See all the stuff you're going
to add on. Just give me it now.
Give me a charge me for the extra bag.
Yeah, no, give me it all now. Yeah, I know.
I know what you mean. But Rome's 10 out of 10.
Rome's great. I've never been to Rome.
I want to go. That's probably one of the.
There's direct flights from Morocco, but we're like, so

(26:40):
growing up in Tunisia, would youhave just gone to different
places around that region? So you're not you.
Guys, actually never been. I've never been to any of the
countries near me like I've beento Morocco, only when I was
living in France. It's being from Morocco that's
weird, isn't it? And the people like, yeah, to go
home, like, but yeah, I guess there's more.

(27:00):
Like it feels like you'd be morecultured and that you, you guys
would go to like see things. Yeah.
Whereas like we don't want to see stuff.
No, you're yeah, you're the worst tourist.
No, that's that's that's the fact you and the French for
different. Reasons all we did.
But how are all we do is like fight in public?
Yeah, leave rubbish everywhere. Yeah, they drink way too much

(27:20):
alcohol. Did you hear the flight that
left from from, I don't know if it's Ireland or London to Turkey
and they finished the alcohol, the whole like all the alcohol.
On the plane. Take off in the first hour?
Yeah, like how does that even? Last, people have a good time.
On a holiday? Like there's a group of guys
when you see on a plane, you're like.
But you're literally not even yet on your holiday.

(27:43):
Why am I? Why am I insistent on a drink
Guinness that ruins my stomach that I have to have at 11:00?
I'm on my holiday to the air Hostess.
She's like, we're over Lisburn here.
You're not on your holidays yet?But I see what I love at the
airports. That's how I get start getting
drunk is the little you know thetrial, you know when you try the
shots at the. Or when you go through the wee
perfume place. Yeah, and.

(28:04):
There. Was one.
Oh, you're getting stuck in the samples.
Yes, and there was once they left it, they left it alone and
the person, the person went in the toilet and left.
And you waited. No, I just start drinking.
On the family on a family holiday.
And she had a list. She had a list.
And then my husband start writing was like, what are you
writing? And he's like, I think we should

(28:24):
write our names like, do not he's.
Trying to He's the first guy to die in horror movie I.
Was like, we're stealing. Let's let's agree that we're
stealing. And then you boozing on the on
the flight and all that kind of stuff.
Bet debit, but I like free like shots like that yes, that gets
me in the mood yeah, to like a nice flight.

(28:44):
Like, there's not. The drinking culture was stand
up used to be massive doing gigslike 10-15 years ago everybody
was drinking. Yeah, he's like now doing stand
up. No one drinks alcohol.
Yeah, I don't want it. I've never done a gig where I
drank because I think, what if that's the best gig I've ever
done and then I become an alcoholic.
Yes, that's my fear. I get to you with a white wine

(29:04):
on stage. Oh.
You think so? Yeah.
Yeah, actually that will work. Yeah, you think so?
I forgot my material one studio and I was like never again.
Like, because it was like it wasin the boardroom as well,
classroom. And I was like, how am I like
forgetting that here? Like of all the rooms, like
yeah, but how do we beer yesterday after the gig, Like
because the there was the American Comic Store, like why

(29:25):
none of you guys drinking? And I was like, yeah, can't let
them down. Yeah, he's like Irish comedians,
we wild and batteries. People are like, yeah, my
medication just isn't really working for me.
Everyone's like, oh, you should try this, you know?
Because I was in the fridge. Because you get the beer and
water. But.
Yes man, yes. Did you want to do Herald?

(29:46):
Anyone got a belt? It's Karen Frank.
You're going on a wee Portuguesetrip.
I'm bossing. For it like I like, Dave sent me
the Lisbon Red Winter. I'm very excited.
Like there's a guy called Francisco.
I can get behind. If you're ever in Lisbon, you
need to go see Francisco. I've been.
I just was there in May. Right.

(30:07):
You go back for Francisco. We went Dave Stag, Dave Elliot
Stag do and as part of it there was a wine tour and I was like,
boys, I don't, I don't like thislike because I, I, I would have
the very old glass of red wine. Very odd.
Oh, I love red. Wine but I I see that is like a
mom and dad thing to do on it. Right, okay.
And at this point we were, you know, 30 year old boys like,

(30:31):
yeah, so I go, I don't want to be going on a wind.
Like I hate loads of stuff I goton holiday.
Like I hate when I was reminds me of when I was younger on
holiday and you finished your food and then the adults are
having like, oh, we'll have a coffee or a wine after that.
You're stuck at the table. I just.
Won't go home, you just won't goand play.
I hate that. Drama.

(30:52):
Why no, no drama here. But I always tell the boys I
wear, I wear a big space helmet.Nothing can get in.
Like, I mean, you're like thought the thoughts are trying
to get me but they can't get in and I can't hear anything on the
earth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It'll it'll help me someday, butI'm just enjoying.

(31:13):
The hair growing things. The hair is more of a defence to
keep, to keep all the bad thoughts out do.
You get triggered but like a packet of crisps in a pub being
opened at the table, yeah. No I'm OK with snacks but it's
like what? Is that?
No, I don't get this. What do you mean you get to?
Just like Elon getting the meal experience, yeah.
Yeah, so my dad would take my coffee and a Brandy.
This is white privilege. Coffee and a Brandy.

(31:34):
Take a nap. Your dad and the mafia.
He just takes that and then after he can see him visibly
anxious in the cardic, the way he's pull over the hem, it's
cool and then 30 minutes after he's like having an anxiety
attack in a country rodent on a goal you need.
To get them Clippers plugged in here.
Get over me the. Only thing that destresses your
dad Shaving your head. I didn't choose to look like

(31:55):
Michael Stone. My dad made me.
Francisco, right, Right they go.We're going to wine tasting
thing. Who's Francisco?
He is a guy they got. He's a guy who he's a wine
taster man. He does courses.
He's like Fraser, basically. Or you know what?
OK, sorry, reference. You don't know the show.

(32:17):
Oh. Fraser, maybe here.
He's a psychologist though, isn't he not?
Dude, it's fine. He's a wine.
Like they're wine experts. Oh yeah, Well, this guy runs
wine tours, right? So I did not want to do it.
But the they're like all my age.Well, Dave's friends were like
one year older than me, but I, Ijust thought they were like old
dudes. Aaron Butler was with.
Us. Hello.

(32:38):
Sure. Yeah.
Older, you think? Yeah.
They all monocles in. They're all like bald.
They're kids. Yeah.
No, like bald guys and the like rugby.
And it was me and Aaron Butler being like, we were like the
kids on the trip, you know, we were like, no, we just go and
play. Can we get toys and everything
like go and play in the square? And anyway, when did this to her

(33:01):
and I was like, I don't drink wine.
I don't like the taste of wine. So I just brought like a box of
cans of cider to sit and the guysaid, yeah, you can do that.
So I just. School or Francesco?
Francisco's like boys. Whatever.
Francisco's an hour late to meetus.
He takes us into a bar. He's clearly not pre booked it.
So he gets in an argument with them and they're like, I guess I

(33:21):
don't know you. So he's like getting them to
drink the wine and we're like, obviously he's going to do it,
but then spit it out. But he's not spitting anything
out. He's done it and he keeps like
double checking that it's a right wine.
He's like, oh, no need to check.And anyway, this guy goes from
North to 100 and he's like, you know what movies they'll be like
a wild foreign guy, big mad laugh, a little really intense,

(33:44):
like crazy guy. That's him.
He's Portuguese. He's Portuguese, he's full.
At the end of it, everybody's drunk, right?
I've had three cans of cider. I'm done.
Summer space? Well.
Summer space. That's.
Unbelievable, right? Anything could happen.
Dave is gone. Dave is down in every wine he
gets to the guys like savour it and everything goes down.

(34:04):
So the tour is done. It's like 2 hour thing.
Then we're like Francisco, you got a party with us and
Francisco is like guys, I've gotto get back to my family, I've
got another tour to do. There's another party booked in
and we were like, Francisco, sack it off and he goes, I'll
bring you guys to another bar and leave you there, but I can't

(34:25):
have any more alcohol. I've got to do this to her.
He brings us into this like families restaurant, like it's
not a pub. And he's like, just get the boys
a load of drinks. So he pays for it, but it was
more probably than we'd paid himto do the thing.
And then he went and get one forme as well.
I was with us for like 4 hours. He just didn't show up for the
other tour and he was absolutelymental and then he came out with

(34:48):
to a club. So he didn't.
He stayed with. No, we hijacked him.
She I need that experience. I getting called out in the
group chat is having not organised zilch.
So if I bring Francisco. Are you going to spend those
part of it? Porto chain Porto play the first
game of the season which I'm buzzing for, like driving down
then Lisbon. So they're like you need to
organise something. Oh, so you're good with a group
of friends and everyone organised something and you

(35:08):
just. I'm just in the group chat like
how do I guess but I. Also, like, I also like a bit of
free time, like like, you know? Because it's there's so many
things you could walk around andsit somewhere and the food is
nice everywhere. Someone will do like, oh, we're
going pot, the lads are going todo pottery, yeah.
I'm organised fun, yeah, so. I do that at home.
I go to pottery. No, if anyone does it would be

(35:31):
me like. But no, I don't.
I don't say like, you've never been to Tunisia, have you?
No, I've been to Morocco. Yeah, same thing.
But we say, like me and Kieran, we're going to go to Tunisia.
Yeah, what will we be doing like?
Well, so many things depends very good.
So you can go swimming. Obviously there is like the do

(35:52):
you know there's direct flights from here and the flight when I
catch the what? Do you fly to Tunis?
Well, from here the direct flight flies you to SUS, which
is my city. I know the doctor, not the city.
Yeah. Which is like which is like.
Prescribes your green eggs and ham that shit.
You can take a plane in the rain.

(36:13):
Yes, yes. And it's it's so you can go
everything. You could go drink and you could
go partying. Now what's the culture like
though with the drinking like? Oh, crazy.
Oh, it's Larry. Yeah, right.
So we don't have to be like respectful.
No, no, no, no, no. They are like, they're crazy.
Like, yeah, they're. And what?
Like and people like drive drunkas well.

(36:34):
Oh great, so we could do that. Yeah, boys want to do that next
on the list like. And the police will be fine.
And yeah. You just see us doing a travel
vlog. Hey guys, we're 12 pints in,
just jumping on here. We're going to try and get back
to the hotel. Let's see how it goes.
Daily Telegraph next day. Yeah.
So you'll be great. On the Live Guys, Kieran's died

(36:57):
here. Just recording my body just with
this post here. Weekend, the Bernie's, you know,
the whole rest of the weekend's activities.
Yeah, she'll be fair. Like he was saying he's a crash
my car the other week and like literally due to like driving
out in front of the Translink boss.
I'm like. What made you do that?
Let's. Drive for help.

(37:19):
Yeah, actually being like, fuck,my dad got my heart, but like
the bus driver, I just want to sell the top.
And this true story, the bus driver came off and it's really
raging and he was like, oh shit,can I didn't see your top?
He was like, if you're right. So taught me through the
accident. So I'd I've been out like sort
of big night out the night before and my mad picked up a

(37:39):
lovely shirt for me to go out again.
FA Cup final day, sorry. Sorry.
So let's let's what's. This.
You've been out and then you phone mommy.
I need a shirt for tomorrow. She sent me a photo because this
shirt look nice and I went it's for you.
Yeah, she bought your mommy dress.
You. We take care.
Oh, she's at a shop. Yeah, it still.
Doesn't make it any better. Your mommy buy your clothes.

(38:00):
Every now and then she'll she'llspot an item in big that's a bit
Karen. And so I went on shopping the
waggon there and got the collected shopping the waggon
did I said anything weird last night and I just turned around
this Translink bus like cut the complete front of my car off and
the driver. Got his fault, yeah.
Yeah. And then?
Your insurance go up or not. We're going to find out in

(38:21):
January. How fast did it hit you?
I was shaking like like it was. Crying, yeah.
It's 17 miles an hour. It was coming up to a stop.
So he got off and he was like raging and he was going but.
Unprofessional as. Well, but listen came up to make
a Celtic are. You still in the far all skirt?

(38:43):
No, I got out and then he clocked on that I was in and he
went fuck, I don't take your fucking head off our kid.
So they saw you in that top because she watched the cup
final today. Yes, my.
Mom just got me along the shirt.What about Scott Brown?
He was don't play for me anymore.
Oh my. God.
So how was it left? The car.

(39:03):
Yeah, it's your right off. I only got it back yesterday and
it was in the mechanics for two months so.
You would get, I'm sorry mate, but you would get ripped off on
a mechanic, something shocking. If you walk in there, they're
those they're at their Christmasfoods.
You have to. Prepare.
I prepare before like I like. I asked her TBT give me things.
You ask who chat TBT AI and I'd be like, tell me words to use so

(39:29):
I sound like I know what I'm talking about.
Yes, give me keywords to say because I went recently and the
guy was like, oh, all your tyresneed to be changed.
And I was like classic, of course.
And I was like, well, I've just changed one of those.
You spot which one? Oh, that's good.
Yeah, that's good. He wouldn't like that.
Yeah, he did. He did spot it.

(39:49):
And then, you know, it's one outof four, you know what I mean?
25% chance. But then I was like asking
chachi videos, like, what questions do I ask him, you
know? And then it's like just, you
know, whatever terms I can use. But then, yeah, I ended up
changing them. So I don't know if I got scammed
or not. Yeah.
See I walked in and my dad went bother with him and he went 500

(40:13):
lbs. No, you always have 600 you.
Have to always say that's too much, whatever, whatever.
No, you don't. I imagine around the world you
do. No, you're speaking to a
mechanic in Northern Ireland. When it gives you a price, you
don't say that's too much. You got, I got my tyres down 30
lbs. It's not bad.

(40:34):
Oh you all I'm Arabic right? We negotiate anything, yes,
anything and Ice can see everyone else is embarrassed for
me, I. I went to a market in Turkey
once, bought a fake Alessi T-shirt.
The guy who sold me it stole it,and then I had to buy a back
off. That's real life.
Yeah. Bought the lessee shirt for
like, I don't know like. So 3.
Pound or something? In Turkey, if they say 100 start

(40:55):
negotiating from 10, that's that's.
Over he made me rebuy it, he stole it from me and then
somehow taught me into buying a bag as well.
Like I know. Oh.
He stole it from you. He stole it back from me.
He sold me it was bagging it up was basically like just like.
What you. Mean took it back.
I was like, I was like, no, no, no, like no, not today or

(41:17):
whatever. I was like, what do you mean?
And he said you didn't give me enough money for it.
I was like, I'll give you the price we agreed on.
And he's like, make me another offer, another offer, thinking
I'll just give him the one extra# the equivalent or whatever it
is. And then he's like, yeah, give
me that. But he was that.
He was that charming and good other day like PED.
This is why you get scammed. But here's what you do, local

(41:37):
mechanics here. When he gives you the price, you
don't say that's too much, you don't bother you, I guess, just
that. And then he's going to go and
you go. You never speak and you go.
Who can raise their shoulders the highest?
Come on. By the end, you're like, come
on. Yeah, your shoulders are above
your head and. Then what you your?

(42:00):
Head sunk into your waist. Give me I brought my mouth for
backup yesterday as well, I say.When you had to pick up the car.
Yeah. So you stay in the car in case
it's contained it and give you the signal.
She put she put a cute wee shirton.
You care? I've got your wee jumper to

(42:20):
speak to the mechanic. I walked in and the guy was like
your cars are and I would have the three-point turn it out and
can you do me one last favour? Can you sort of frequent turn it
out and? He charge you an extra 7 that
would. Be my pleasure.
Yeah, he's like, I had to chargeyou for a skyhook as well here.
Put the flux capacitor in it there kid, you know.

(42:43):
Hey idiot, on the way home. Go and ask him on the other side
of the show. Go and ask him for a long wait
there. God love you there all night.
How's your Fraser? When I worked there, I was like
16 that. Can you go get me a can of
tartan paint? It's down on men's floor.
I'm like, yeah, Weller left under, Scrooge over.
I'm the man. Well, what was your first ever
job? Oh, I worked at a ice cream

(43:06):
shop. In Morocco.
Nearby. No.
Can I ask you, are you allowed to get unlimited ice cream?
I was I was allowed and you do this slogan, It was in Tunisia.
And then it was for some reason it was called, it was Sammy
sweet. Let's go eat.
That was a slogan no one spoke, no one spoke English.

(43:27):
So that sounded like really. But it was in English.
Yeah, yeah, Sammy sweet. Let's go eat.
That was the slogan because his name is Sammy.
That's 10 out of 10. I know, but it was really
overpriced he had. 5. £100 for agel.
He was. Not sweet enough.

(43:48):
So we really had very little customers, you know, right.
But it was great. Did you keep the same enthusiasm
up for eating ice cream when youstarted there compared to when
you? Finished.
No, you got second off. You get second.
We haven't to just go into different.
Flavours. Yeah, whatever new flavour he.
Did and is Sammy still in business?
No, Sammy just went back to Denmark or whatever.

(44:09):
I mean, I feel like he's taken quite a punt there.
Yeah, he was like, no, not working.
But it was great because, you know, you make like friendships.
I had this guy who used to bringme breakfast every morning and
it's just brilliant. It was really good.
A guy who worked there or? No, just a random guy customer.
Regular customer started bringing me breakfast.
What kind of breakfast are we talking here?
It was great. It was loads of pastries and

(44:30):
like, you know, stuff it pastries and coffee and all.
Yeah. Now he's maybe thinking.
Yeah, I was 16, so I don't know what he was thinking.
What kind of guy are we talking about?
This now doesn't sound as good as I thought.
Actually, he's like. This is a big trauma though.
Yeah. I mean, I think if he buys you,
I think if he has pastries already and he's passing and he

(44:54):
goes, you want a pastry of too many.
Yeah, that's fine. Once.
Then he starts doing it every morning.
Yeah, and I really enjoyed it. I feel like you're both getting
something out of that. Yeah, he didn't get, I mean, he
didn't ask for anything back, so.
Pastry. Man, yeah.
So yeah, I'd do that deal again if anyone.
And is it the same flavours as we would have here, like as your

(45:17):
bubble gum? No, we did.
It was. We were not big on bubble gum,
but yeah, you would have everything.
Poober. No, no.
No, it's the best flavour. Do you think you're asking?
Apple, that's only here. Yeah, is it?
Yeah, do you even get that in England?
Honey. Yeah, it's like honeycomb.
Is it? Yeah, Poober.
Here, like your sticky ink. Yes.
But you'd get like all, you know, the chocolate, the all the

(45:38):
chocolate brands, you know, the best coffee would be massive.
Yes, all that stuff. I could see you being like so
happy with the wee cone of ice cream.
So big ice cream, bubblegum, Kendall Bueno, 2 scoops sort of
guy they. Don't really do they work
together? No, I would like to go like, you
know, see me. I could see you being like

(46:01):
really happy with an ice cream. Oh, like Rome, I was in my
fucking element. Like, yeah.
Gelato. That's what everyone's into
these days. Was Sammy on the Gelato?
In the Gelato. Game he was.
He was. He had.
Was Sammy's issue was maybe he was too ahead of his time?
I think so. I think he should come back.
You know what I mean? He had this like cream recipe
that doesn't melt easily. Guys on the sorry I.

(46:22):
Know yeah, it takes it takes much longer than regular ice
cream to melt. He was on to some.
I think he should because that'sthe issue.
If you're watching, that's the issue.
I won't buy my kids a cone. It's tub only.
Oh. I know, it's a nightmare, isn't
it? Well, I'll tell you what I'll
do. I'll get you a tub and then I'll
ask for a week home separately. Yeah.
Because, like, I just can't watch it.

(46:43):
Yeah, I can't watch it. That.
Night I get them cone without the ice cream for my son.
Yeah, he's 2 right? So it's fine.
But are you getting a wee tub too?
No, just the cone. It's kind of really sad.
He loves that, just sitting witha ice creamless cone.
That's terrible, He. Loves that he's going to be 20
years time just lying on a shadelong.
Yeah, she would get me ice cream, but I mean, no ice cream.

(47:07):
I was just a week. I know, I mean, you know what I
want? I want to give him that kind of
trauma. Like everyone a laugh at you'd
be like. What other jobs did you have?
I worked in a supermarket. Umm, I, I worked, what did I
have to? Yeah, I worked super.
I worked in a PlayStation. Do you know, do you know, do you
know, do you know, did you have this?

(47:29):
Like it was like you don't play PlayStation at home, but you go
somewhere where you sit on the table.
Or the arcade. Not really.
It was like a really a shop justfor that, like for, you know,
video games basically. Some shopping centre.
Remember came used to have it. Where you came in London, They
yes, in London they do have it still, like, yeah.
And then it was, it was so annoying because every time you

(47:51):
just keep switching the CD and the CD is like scratch and
you're like, you can't play thisgame I guess today.
What was your first joke? How's your Fraser?
I remember it was like I was so one day I was singing Jose
Mourinho. We're on the shop floor and they
call me and I was a guy. I'm getting sacked here, I
guess. Is it and all right, Karen, your
employee of the month, April 2017 for the whole company.

(48:12):
I was going what the fuck like. Because you follow up on the
wall. Yeah, me holding the certificate
now I'm sending their own being like because.
Were you pumped? Yeah, they used to be.
See if I beg Spurs from needs tosay if you get this much in
order in store, you can go. We'll give you 1010 minutes off
so you can go and watch Tottenham.
So I used to order. 10 minutes. Or sorry, out 10 minutes early

(48:34):
so you could watch the half fivekick off or whatever and I'd be
yeah, 100%. So I would order a load of stuff
online and then return it the next day so I could get to
watch. So it was based on the amount of
clothes you sold. Yeah, or orders online.
So if I got a customer to order something online so like.
How do they know it's you? You do.
Yeah, I would go order it on andI would go on, right.
And we know the sport being Karen's done £500 order in store

(48:56):
and then. But say Waffle walks up with a
jacket. Well, what?
Your job was to go. Don't buy that now.
Yeah. So let me order it for you
online. So you, I generally done this
and I felt so guilty where this woman came in, she went my
daughter Tottenham were playing Chelsea FA Cup semifinal.
And half 5. Yeah, half five.
And this woman came in 5:00 and she was like, I should have been
into 7. She was.

(49:16):
My daughter really wants an espresso machine.
Do you have it in white? We had one on the shop floor, we
Franco here hides it in the stockroom, works like going to
have to order it in line. It's like £200.
I went up to the boss, shoot himand get the pub kit the.
Machine is not urgent, right? Another white.

(49:38):
Another, yeah. She's like, my daughter's going
through a really hard time. She's been through the mill.
The only thing that's going to make her feel better?
Drop. It's going to make me feel
better. That's like, I couldn't see.
I don't see Karen Franco as a man who's capable of deceit.
I don't like. It was a hustler's ambition
there, Doggy, doggy. As a salesman at all?

(50:00):
Oh. I love.
That he was not. He's telling them to go mine.
Because I can't see you going for the hard sell, but I'll see
you did. See selling suitcases.
I just like Jordan Belford. Like.
That's what people say. You're the Jordan Belford of the
showcase team, like this guy. What was your say?
I walk in and I'm looking aroundthe suitcases.
What's your opening line? Right, let's let's role play.

(50:22):
Chin, hold on. Give me a second to look.
You don't know his name. So you're looking at the
Samsonite hard shelter? Yeah, that's the most expensive.
You know what I'm think's comingin these days for men?
Cheetah print. You know, a lot of people think
cheetah prints feminine, but I'mwalking through George Best City
or Puerto, my Bieber suitcase. I've changed the new trend.

(50:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think of maybe just stick
with this one like. Like Brian will lose my job, you
need to start my life's on the line.
You're crying. And then they put me on bed
sheets and I couldn't make the beds.
Like customers will be asking meto show them I couldn't do it,

(51:06):
so they kick me off that. I'm unbelievable.
A change in a bed, really. I have a technique.
Put it in the. See, putting the sheet on I'm
I'm same as the next guy that I'm fine at it.
Changing the changing the duvet.Oh, I have the duvet inside out,

(51:26):
right? Yeah.
Sorry, I have the right, You've got the duvet itself, you've got
the duvet itself and. You get the sheet.
I've got the sheet inside out but my hands are in it and the
corners I'm going to grab and then right.
I didn't know anyone else does this.

(51:46):
I genuinely thought, I genuinelythought I'd hit on a life.
Hack. I think every man thinks that's
the hack. And my I made, I made my husband
believe that he's the only one who does so.
He's the only one who changed the sheet in the house.
I completely feel him because I thought I was.
Yeah, I think that's she making you feel that you're special.
I that she. Times me on all what I'm doing.

(52:08):
18 seconds in an hour I'm so badat making.
Beds. Yeah, no, yeah, it's still good.
It's still good. I think it's brilliant.
This is like the hair again. I know it's good.
It's fine. I mean, don't.
Do it. See how it goes.
I can't pause cut though. I can't trust at 37.

(52:29):
You can't pause. Like we don't know what lies
beneath here, like. Oh no, no, don't do that.
No, no, absolutely not. And then like to recover from
that, it will take a while. I know.
No way. I don't know what to do.
So I'm worried I look like lex looper or something.
I forget that. Do you trust how the shape of
your head looks? Without the hair, you might look
like the garden stranger. Thing.

(52:49):
Yeah, I've got a good relationship.
Like a relaxed. Looper.
I'm worried I'll be getting too much action if I just.
Wrote about let's pull me a bit of crippling it and.
Were you a big like House of Fraser guy?
We're there for a long time, we in the culture.
Five years like I'm like Ashley bought it as well and the

(53:10):
coldest stone for a meeting and the rig you don't like Newcastle
fans hit well, he's taking over,but.
It's gone now, isn't it? It's called Frasers now, Hank.
Or flannels. Yeah, Flannels.
No flannels is the expense of upstairs, but but like so
flannels is like the top floor of that and it's like £10,000
for a jacket. Have you walk around it?

(53:32):
I'll if I'm like in house Fraser, I'll go up there to just
people watch and walk around it.And there's three kinds of
people, right? There's young Asian people,
there's young Asian people, there's like a families where
you can tell that the parents don't love each other and
there's Irish league footballers, that's what it is.

(53:54):
And social climbers. Yeah, but they're, but they're
not buying stuff like everyone'sthere.
No one's bought anything in flannels, ever.
What are the brands like Canada Goose, Gucci?
She won't she. She.
Won't she salon? What else is it all high for N

(54:16):
Like it's this nearly the same stuff as downstairs?
Yeah, it's. Just different name.
Yeah, it's got an. Accent on it.
Well, what's it Be honest, right?
Be honest because I I'm just be honest.
What's the most expensive item of clothing you've ever bought?
I know it's something wild. Yeah, it's a bag.
OK, I haven't really. Talked handbag.
Yeah, I really don't. Yeah.

(54:38):
Where did you buy it? I bought it in London in
Harrods. Can we guess, will you just be
honest what it was? Yeah, yeah, it's not as crazy as
they think. Right. 4 numbers.
Yeah. Oh fuck, fuck, it's got to say
£120, just well go 101,200. Well, I can.

(55:04):
Well I can say on it. 5000. No less. 4000.
A bit less. 3 1/2, Yeah. Bargain.
Fuck 3 1/2. Yeah, around that price.
Do you still have it? Yeah, that's insane.
I know, I know. I mean I bought it like 3 years

(55:26):
ago. I didn't have a son and I didn't
have. It was down from 3800, couldn't
not buy it and. And I thought, oh, I got a new
job so I deserve this, but the increase of the salary was not
enough. Won't won't buy your son ice
cream to go inside his comb, butyou're walking about.
Let me just take that comb with a CV don't have.

(55:47):
I got to save up somewhere. You know I got.
To I got to pay that back. That's Ike.
I think that's as crazy as. I totally get it right and it's
probably the same with guys and watches like women handbag.
Yeah, I don't get watches. See, that's the thing.
I get it, but I will never be onboard with it.
Yeah. In fact, I don't know if I get
it. I get it to an extent, yeah.

(56:09):
I get a guy. I get a guy who works some sort
of job and get some like mad bonus.
Yeah. And for for a bit of that.
Baxter House of Fraser. Employee of the month do.
You know, Chanel was a was a better investment than Bitcoin
because Chanel was the only thing that increased in value.
Like unbelievably like Chanel five years ago was used to cost

(56:32):
like 2000 or something and now it cost like 7000 lbs.
Or for a handbag. Yeah.
So did people buy your handbags to keep them?
Yeah. I mean, yes, I mean, yeah, you
could actually like resell is not that I'm going to do that,
but that's how that's what I tell my husband to justify.
Yeah, yeah. He's like, why are you walking
around with our investment portfolio?

(56:53):
Just wait till the chips are down.
Why are you going to Costa in the Abbey Centre with our
future? Hot chocolates really close to
our future. You're getting, you're getting
trade back all over our pen. 15 a little bit.
Karen, what's the most expensiveitem of clothing you ever

(57:14):
bought? Fuck it, probably.
No, no, the question is what's the most expensive item?
Your mommy. It actually is very bottom 150
LB Dickies bowling shirt which now I wore and some guy really
sarcastically in the Marcus Wardwent really like your style and.
I was like. The poker he pretended the Adam
burn and a sore tummy to go intothe bathroom and have a fake

(57:37):
but. Maybe he liked your style.
No, he was looking at the way you should look at a mechanic.
Yeah. I walked into the bathroom like.
You want to get what were the shoes you were telling me you
were going? To get Wallabies so.
How much do they cost? About 120 yeah, my friend Saul,
I look at his fast and go hang on down, but he's.

(57:59):
All pushes the boundaries right?Yeah, he likes like Sole chopped
£250 in New York on a soprano shirt which looks like an apron
from such a house. And he bought that and then I
was like the next day going, butlike, he wears Wallabies and I
was like, they're really good. And he was explaining to me
getting like stuffed in New Yorkand how cool it is.
And I went. It's very yeah, just in new.
York, you were saying in Clark's?

(58:20):
Yeah, Clark, so. But see, if they're big in New
York now, you can't be wearing them here for 12 years.
Like that's what we have a limitof when you're allowed to wear
stuff. While I think sunglasses being
acceptable here, 2 years for youmoved here, we're only now.
Guys will still be weird if you're wearing sunglasses and
25°. You know what I get the.
Fucking dude I. Know I know I get I know the

(58:41):
attitude of like who you think you are where I can guess I can
oh, that's. So good MUV rays in your eyes
your. Fucking belly.
This is why my husband refuses then to wear sunglasses.
It's like the students in the school went.
I wore sunglasses walking through.
No one for the car or walking through the flagrant.
No, it's 10 out of 10. Mental.
The door sunglasses in school? Yeah, absolutely mental.

(59:01):
Makes sense because you're protecting your eyes, but
mental? Yeah, big man's got the shades
and I, because I watched the ball film and I went Bobby Day.
The ladies love him. What age did you have been here?
The school I work. In like this.
Is the students I work with certain big man's got the
shades. Do you get So you work in a

(59:25):
school, right? Yeah.
But do you? Do they treat you like a fellow
pupil? Like they go like Mr Franco DAP
us up and I'm like, I can't be doing that.
And then on the last day, I finally like caved in because
they were leaving out dat a few boys dump it up.
Yeah, yeah, right. With.
Your sunglasses. Yeah.
So watch the Bob Dylan film and Bobby, they always wears them

(59:46):
like inside. And I'm like, I'm the ladies
love them. And I went start doing that.
Inside is mental. I thought it was.
Some guys inside. Oh, inside.
No, no. Inside is mental.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inside is mental, yeah.
Yeah, this is big man's got this.
Unless. You like, you know, unless
you've got an injury or something.
Yeah, big man's got the shades on.
On paper isn't bad at all, but it's just like it's a positive

(01:00:09):
comment designed to like, kill me but yeah.
Yeah, the best one was him. Well, I'm just walk past that
poor cast walked on that. I was like, I went on Stephen
Nolan's game show. What was it called?
Like fucking lucky break or panic attack?
Panic attack is what it was called and it was ABBC Northern

(01:00:30):
Ireland series lasted one series.
Fucking has us. How successful.
It was and it was maybe the first time I'd been on TV and it
was a quiz show and it was like we asked 50 people in Northern
Ireland what are sports played with the ball and the main
answers have been taken. So it's like football, rugby,
something else. And you, if you're buzzed in and
gave the answer, you had to be, you had to be right and you

(01:00:53):
would then be in the hot seat going forward and you could win
money. So I just hit the buzzer.
When I hit it, I had no answer in mind, so I hit it.
Camera cuts over to me. She and you have a chance to
stay here, but if you had it wrong, you're out.
And I went baseball and they were like Nope, sorry.
And then people we applaud me off.
That's the only thing I said was.
Baseball. See for about 3 years I walked

(01:01:15):
down Hollywood High Street. Everyone I knew baseball,
baseball, there he is. Baseball was like it was a
decent guess, it was a decent guess.
Baseball, there was again Hollywood we know who went to
did a tour of the like coke factory and got like a free kind
of Fanta and told boys like backfrom school a bit.
He's like I got this for free tocall factory got Fanta for like

(01:01:38):
5 years. People call him Fanta.
My father, just because he got one, had a free kind of Fanta.
There's guy I remember someone said their mate fell asleep on
this like lion on the second drawer.
So people started calling tinfoil because that's the
drawer where you keep a tinfoil him greatly.
Did you ever have a nickname? No, no no.

(01:02:01):
Did I have a nickname? Do you know the band Run the
Jewels? Yeah, Run the duels.
No, I didn't have a nickname. Don't worry.
I think, I think people were scared of me growing up.
That's the thing. I was the bully.
Yeah, really. It just hit me recently because
I I like every. Buying your Sonic cone and.

(01:02:23):
That makes a change because you're normally hitting people.
Every time I meet people like from my old school, I'm like
happy and they're like not happyto see me.
And I'm like, and I'd be like, what a bitch.
And then I was like, oh shit, I actually bullied that girl and
it just hit me later. I've just been funny.
I didn't think I I mean, I have friends like.
Yeah. But I think I was the bull do.

(01:02:43):
You still feel like you've got the bully inside you.
Yeah. So maybe.
It's so refreshing to see someone genuinely just like, I
bully people and I'm like, are you still like that?
You're like, probably, yeah. Yeah, no, you know what?
I hate that now. I would feel guilt.
I used to have no guilt, Right? Great.
Do you think you will eventuallystart bullying people in the

(01:03:04):
local comedy scene? Like like I think.
Here might be your way No like slag yeah so This is why I think
here works because people here slag off each other so that's.
So you're doing what we would doan everyday thing like taking
the piss out of each other. But in in Morocco that wasn't,
but in Tunisia that wasn't the culture that wasn't right.

(01:03:24):
So people wouldn't be like. Take a joke.
People wouldn't greet each otherlike I yeah, fucking where he
is. What a wanker, no?
I actually did know we did something really horrible, so I
remember I forgot killed somebody.
I forgot my eraser. Yes.
And then I asked this girl and Iwas like, can I?
And she had a lovely like I wasn't a razor in a box and it
was gorgeous. I was like, can I borrow yours?
And she goes no. And I was like, oh, right.

(01:03:48):
And then when we left the, the, the, the this is horrible.
When we left, just bear in mind I was like 5 or something.
I, I got her bag and I put it onthe floor and just started
jumping on it. And I've never seen that girl
again. Like she disappeared.
And you put her in the bag before you did it.

(01:04:08):
It was, I think I did, you know,probably broke her a razor box.
Yeah, that was the only thing. Break the eraser, break the
spirit. Yeah, that's your nickname.
Now break the razor. That was horrible.
God, yeah, I think it's, I thinkI wouldn't mind seeing like and
especially like a female comic. Don't be really refreshing to
see a female comic bullying. Yeah, some male comedians on

(01:04:29):
that. Yeah.
This man's in the power line 100%.
Yeah, but it's good you. Know give me your minutes give.
Me, your you know what I am. Give me that punch and Franco
just hold them. You know, that's the thing.
I think it's good that people know you might be able to bully
them. So there is.
So I think that's the energy I would probably go for now.

(01:04:49):
It's a regime by fear, yeah. Yes, it's like I won't, but I
might. Yes, I'll be careful.
Yes. Can you strike me as a guy who I
got? Called Bill the Bird like in.
Why? Because it looked like a Bill
the birdie. Chubby, sort of pudgy.
I walked about like. Why?
The worst thing? And now looking back it's class

(01:05:09):
crack. Someone I used to love sausage
rolls inside just got someone emptied pulling a brown sauce in
my blazer pocket so I smelt likea sausage roll and we're like.
Not funny. Picking back, I was like after
crack, but now I'm like, oh, it's a big trauma dumping
episode where I'm like. You just give me off another
idea. Walking on stage.
Don't love, you're on with DonnyGold tonight.

(01:05:31):
Flashbacks. I don't.
Know but see you only hear people bullied I'm brave to come
forward that's. Brave to hear your stories,
right? Exactly, because it's like, do
you know, like people are like, you know, always like saying how
they're hurt and you know, like who's hurting these people?
You know, I only hear. So who's?
But we need to think about the bully.

(01:05:53):
Yeah, have some mindfulness. About the bully, probably didn't
know he was a bully. I had an interaction with one,
yeah, New Year's Eve 2022, and he came up with, what are you
doing yourself these days? A guy who'd bullied you in
school? Yeah, yeah, I've had this exact
thing happened. Go ahead, I.
Was absolutely paralytic now fuck off like out there and just
started shooting at him and thenI like flicked like a wee but
with dangerous enough like the bottle cap and I like went Adam

(01:06:15):
and then the bouncer went you have the devil and you lad, you
need to leave. The bouncer was African, but I'm
not going to do the accent, but he was like he was like you have
the devil and you you have to leave.
It was like New Year's Eve. Don't care.
I got a family party and go to. It's like by the way, that
bouncer has clearly not seen anyshit happen before.
If he sees someone flick a bottle cap he's like get the

(01:06:37):
fuck. Out.
Yeah. I was like test me boy, see what
happens. He's really you must have felt
like, did you feel fucking greatafter?
That well I'll tell you why the bully came up to me during
lockdown. I was blocked one day and
checked Facebook memories and I was putting up.
I've started a YouTube channel where I'll be reviewing comic
books and just remember seeing his comments.
Give me dogs abuse. I'm blocked at like 3:00 in the

(01:06:58):
afternoon. I messaged him going what the
fuck have you done with your life?
And then I showed up went why doI do that?
Like and then he came off to me in common market being remember
you messaged me and I just went,you know what double done and
then I just went fuck off. Like why you talking?
About from me and I had a guy who bullied me for a bit in
school came up to me on a night out and was like maybe like 70

(01:07:20):
years ago or something and had obviously said there's me told
his mates that he used to do that and came over to me and was
like well what's happening blah blah blah and I think he
expected me to be like ignore him or just tell him to fuck off
and I was like all good mate, how are you and how's things and
blah blah blah and what are you up to and see because I was like
really nice to him you just did you just didn't know how to deal
with his yes mate good thanks. And then had a full conversation

(01:07:44):
because I was like, I don't careabout it now, I like.
So like, yeah, show them like. Yeah, kill them.
Kill. Killing them like that was
looking for exactly, yeah. Or go here, I've got there.
Now to see him again with the old Frank, I'd love it if you
got really good at that and you could get so much power in it do
you would. Like it down my older.
Knocking their throat. She hurt him.
Yeah, he played to death. Yeah, Franco.

(01:08:05):
Because my mates were like, we'dnever seen that Saudi at all.
And I was like, so pumped. And I went to like an after
party where all my cousins tell them about it and they were
like, you didn't need to do that.
Like that guy was on a night out.
See, I hate when people guilty into, you know, taking revenge.
You just don't want anyone to try and get revenge on you.
No, no, no, no. They should.
People, should they get revenge?I think yeah, yeah.

(01:08:25):
Shouldn't feel guilty about. It that way you moved here.
Running away, Yeah. They're coming.
They're coming after me. Do you guys have any gigs or
shows you would like to plug andpromote?
Not just a no joke and then be have comedy club as well.
It's back on October 3rd with Tim McGarry.
Oh, why Yeah, something for thatas well, like.

(01:08:47):
Are you paying them in money or drugs?
Class A baby. Who else is on?
Luke Mcgibbon and Fraser Rob, that's a great lineup.
That's a great. Kind of nice.
What for the other thing you want?
To put, yeah, so we're doing at the accidental there is the
bitter fringe. So we're doing a split bill on.
You Rowling, Joanna? Yes, the show's called I'm Irish

(01:09:09):
Now or something. Accidentally accidentally Irish
because we all found ourselves accidentally here.
So it's on the 9th of August, I guess that's the one, and we're
together, the Empire. Oh yeah, yeah, we're I really.
Like the new comedy, dude. Yeah.
Or what's going on? I'm bossing for that, but it
could also ruin my holiday. That's the tape.

(01:09:30):
We're going holiday and if I have a stinker, that's all
think. Effect, Yeah.
So we'll put description into our the link in the description
for the accidental show and maybe your behalf show or
something. Perfect.
Thank you very much. No problem at all guys.
Anything I need to plug and promote patronpatron.com/TV
podcast? The the big off specials on

(01:09:50):
there well worth 4040 minutes ofyour how long was the 1st 45
minutes of Genuine madness, all the bonus episodes, all that
kind of thing. She and talk comedy.com.
I'm on tour and that's it. Thanks very much for coming on
guys. Let's go for lunch.
Yeah, yeah.