The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. Subscribe to the ad-free version: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ For advertising opportunities please email PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com We wanna make the podcast even better, help us learn how we can: https://bit.ly/2EcYbu4 Privacy Policy: https://www.studio71.com/us/terms-and-conditions-use/#Privacy%20Policy

Episodes

This One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie and Katya

February 24, 2026 • 62 mins
I am the ring that no laurels adorn,A puckered little star at the edge of the form.No medals are pinned to my tireless skin,Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within. Through tempests of spice and fast food you regret,The burdens the rest of the body forgets.I clench through trials both noble and dire,An unsung sentinel forged in fire. But even the steadfast may weary and ache,May whisper, “Dear world, give me one gentle bre...
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A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya

February 17, 2026 • 53 mins
In the majestic kingdom of sleep where the heavens are transformed into a silken washhouse of torrential storms, the clouds are wrung dry by invisible hands while heinous blonde flamingos are carried off to a prison of unimaginable cruelty. As flocks of braying geese vanish and reappear as if by magic, I open my body into impossible splits and liquid arcs of dance so resplendent that the very air seems to blush at my elegance. Out ...
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The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

February 10, 2026 • 51 mins
Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles, and brioch-ing the eff out of French Toast! Sink your teeth into our signature dishes: cinnamon-glazed Benedict CumberBuns, Morning Wood-Smoked Turkey Sausage, and Katya's famous Maple Butter-covered Call Me By Your To...
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A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya

February 3, 2026 • 51 mins
Dear Dr. Whiffenschtuppel, I write to you this day to express my deepest gratitude for changing my life. Long ago, I remember staring at my banana on the kitchen counter, bruised and drooping with despair; a perfect reflection of my life before Bocox. Every day felt soft, sad, and permanently past its prime. I meandered through my days burdened with shame and grief, wondering how something once so full of potential and promise coul...
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From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya

January 27, 2026 • 56 mins
This week's episode is presented by Hollywood's premier foot feminization service, "From Hooves to Haute." With our patented treatment derived from centuries of Icelandic foot worship, our clinicians will transform your neglected feet from beige, flaky oatmeal buckets with fossilized Fritos for toenails into the epitome of luminous symmetry. We'll erase that eye-watering aroma of gangrene at low-tide and replace it with that of dr...
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250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya

January 20, 2026 • 49 mins
Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are heavy with laughter, saturated with love, and perfumed by a joyous feeling so thick you could spread it like Marmite on toast. Each episode was a bejeweled hour of gossip and grace, where movie reviews unfurled like velv...
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The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya

January 13, 2026 • 58 mins
Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still pulsing with spectral ire, my musk perfumed with the rot of remembrance. In the hush of our shared candlelit hours, I have vowed that my whispers from beyond shall coil about your dreams like ivy, tightening with a lo...
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The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

January 6, 2026 • 53 mins
’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley, To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee. We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée, To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet. Trixie ran into Paul Feig, a multi-Emmy nominee, But congratulated him, instead, on a bit part from the 90s. Such awkwardness made her hungry, so she eyed the pizza pie, But Sofia Vergara blocked the...
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A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

December 30, 2025 • 54 mins
On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the netherworld. Awakened from their slumber, it showed them hours upon hours squandered on movie reviews and anecdotes and puns that curdled into cacophonic comedy, yet also tender moments of kindness...
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Daphne Guinness and the Anarchy of Creativity with Katya

December 23, 2025 • 60 mins
On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The Bald and the Beautiful podcast studio, a gothic angel wrapped in mystery and myth. Together they summoned a yuletide séance of aristocracy and absurdity, a baroque nativity of wigs and wit. 'Twas a Christmas miracle wher...
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How to Use Double Entendres with Trixie and Katya

December 16, 2025 • 51 mins
Today, as our fingers gently brushed the record button and we engaged in a long and thorough microphone check, we adjusted the levels for several minutes, thus ensuring the room was warm and ready and inviting us to continue. We settled into a steady rhythm, exploring the acoustics until we eventually found the mythical sweet spot, taking our time and allowing the tension to build as the red light blinked, letting us know we were o...
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Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

December 9, 2025 • 61 mins
Official Statement from the esteemed Lushious H. Massacr IV, Esq.: In a moment unprecedented in the annals of human cooperation, the international drag community proudly proclaims the dawn of lasting global concord, achieved through the harmonious power of the Astounding Portal of Unity: The Booty Hole. Let this precious orifice inspire nations to transcend petty grievances and embrace collective purpose and tolerance. The world n...
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The Cream Nation Sensation! with Trixie and Katya

December 2, 2025 • 42 mins
Get ready, America, because the new dance craze "Cream Nation" is sweeping the country faster than a soda fountain jerk slinging banana splits! From hip teenagers at the malt shop to squares cutting loose on the living room floor, everybody is jumping, jiving, and creaming their way into this sensational new dance! All you have to do is sway, shimmy, and jerk it like you’re stirring up the sweetest sundae ever served! And then, jus...
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Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

November 25, 2025 • 69 mins
The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity, offering complimentary tootsie rolls that taste like tiny victories of the working class as these huddled masses check out CDs to be burned into their iPod Classics, empowering each and every one of them to cultivate a perso...
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Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder with Trixie and Katya

November 18, 2025 • 54 mins
Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder, or OCCD, is a common behavioral condition characterized by involuntary ocular fixation on a neighbor's in-flight audiovisual LCD display, even in the absence of accompanying auditory stimuli. Patients with OCCD exhibit vastly impaired concentration filtration, resulting in reflexive visual tracking of narrative cinematic sequences presented on adjacent personal screens during commercial ...
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The Trixie Mattel Center for Turntable Excellence with Trixie and Katya

November 11, 2025 • 49 mins
Attention aspiring disc technicians! At Trixie’s Greater Milwaukee Center for Turntable Excellence, you’ll receive comprehensive instruction in cross-fader voltage modulation, cue-point bias alignment, and real-time pitch control using state-of-the-art Technics SL-1200MK2 direct-drive turntables. You’ll learn to dissect, equalize, and live-sequence Chappell Roan and Nicki Minaj masters through reel-sync processors and VU-calibrated...
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Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya

November 4, 2025 • 50 mins
Do you dream of living a life of romance, success, and not being a social disgrace as you awkwardly tap at your keyboard like a Dickensian ghost? With 3 easy payments of $99.99, you can be the proud owner of the year's hottest CD-ROM from Katya Zamo's Shift Happens Typing School. You’ll go from 7 pathetic words per minute to a blistering 80+ WPM because if you don't, you will perish loveless and alone, clutching your dial-up modem ...
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Elvira's Planet of the Glamazonian Ghouls with Trixie

October 28, 2025 • 40 mins
In the twilight hush of a Burbank podcast studio, Trixie finds herself opposite the immortal Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: the legendary Cassandra Peterson! Upon the mist of their delightfully macabre conversation lays her infernal grimoire, "Elvira’s Cookbook from Hell", its pages reeking of brimstone and buttercream, whispering festive recipes that seem to writhe with unholy hunger. Through grins both wicked and weary, they discu...
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Let No Bannister Go Un-Cobwebbed with Trixie and Katya

October 21, 2025 • 58 mins
Friends, fans, and fellow seekers of the sublime; it is I, Trixie Mattel. Lend me your trembling hearts, for the hour of All Hallows' Eve draws nigh, and with it, my home shall rise from shadowed mediocrity into gothic immortality. Upon my modest parcel of earth shall stand a citadel of candlelight and cobweb, a mausoleum of wonder where even the moon itself will pause to admire its own reflection. Let it be known, from the ocean t...
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Bosco and Goblin Drag Prerequisites with Katya

October 14, 2025 • 65 mins
In alignment with Bald, LLC's ongoing corporate initiative to foster dialogue in the fields of glamour, aesthetics, and brand synergy, SVP of Novelty T-Shirts Katya Zamolodchikova is pleased to engage in a high-level dialogue with esteemed guest, the one and only Bosco. This executive board-sanctioned exchange will address key sectors including adhesive textile engineering, gender-affirming massages, and the complex macroeconomics ...
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