April 16, 2025 • 28 mins
Chrissie is a real homebody. A self proclaimed hermit as she says. So of course we've got so many things to talk about from inside the house!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Yes, it's a Christys one show. I'm about to do
something momentous, Jack, Okay, I am about to eat my
last stockpiled Carmen's porridge sashet. And you may be listening
and going, hang on the mint. It had can to
(00:22):
be the last one. They're all over there, in every
supermarket in every city in the land. Yeah, well not
this one. A few years ago, I fell in love
with a specific flavor of Carmen's porridge. Come in a
little sashet, fill it up to the line with milk,
ninety seconds in the microwave. It was called almond, coconut
(00:44):
and chea, and my mouth ate it, and I was
in heaven.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
That surprises me that you sort of strayge us from
everyday normal porridge, because I just feel like that's so perfect.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Correct. I agree, And normally I would never I would
never have a sashet. But this sashet was the stuff
of God's and I use it. I use the past tense.
There was because I went to buy another box of
it years ago, and that was when I realized that
it was hurts me to say discontinued. Oh no, and
(01:22):
I could not find it anywhere, and I have been
rationing those sachets that I had. I think I had
two or three boxes when I realized that they were discontinued,
and I'm down to my last one. Jack, I'm going
to hand you the sashet now. I want you to
turn it over and tell me the use by day.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Swan best before the twenty fifth of August twenty twenty two.
If that's not Christy Swan coated, I don't know what
he is.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
A desperate woman has to do desperate things.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Jack, So you've been eating, have you?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Have you noticed that they're passed there?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Absolutely not, absolutely not as delicious as the very first
time I fell in love with it.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Why do you think they were discontinued?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Listen? I don't know. I've been doing a lot of
soul searching about this. Why why something so perfect could
be discontinued? And this happens to me all the time.
Anything I fall in love with gets discontinued. Maybe it
happens to you too. Thirteen twenty four to ten, give
us a call. Has something that you have absolutely fallen
in love with and think that you can't live without
(02:26):
suddenly and brutally is no longer available gets discontinued. Give
us a call on the line. Right now is the
boss lady of Carmen's. She joins us, Carolyn Creswell, welcome.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Oh I'm laughing so much. Christy.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Oh oh, bully for you.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Ha ha. You're not the one who now has to
live without her favorite porridge. Carolyn, what are you doing
to me?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Well, the thing with products and food market it's an
ever so something out goes the old and incomes of
fresh new flavors, things that people looking for. A Promise,
if you tried some of the newer flavors, maybe you
would also fall in love with them as much as
the two year old Rather sad Sasha's still floating in
(03:20):
your handbag.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Carolyn, I need to I need to tell you something
about this porridge. It is the most perfect thing that
I've ever eaten for breakfast, and I think that you
should bring it back. And this is why, presuming that
it was launched. I don't know when it was launched.
Can you remember what year? I mean?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Probably not about six seven years ago?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Right, See, people didn't know that they wanted chia. Then
now they do bring it back.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Well, we do these limited editions. So at the moment,
we've got a sticky date putting limited edition. Maybe I
need to bring this one back as the quispy limited
edition Porridge Sachet to you know, reinvigorate the porridge sachet community.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Krolyn, are there any lying around the warehouse that you
could give to a lady desperation?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Let me go and have a hunt for you, Carol.
I haven't quite had a lady in this much desperation before.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Between you and me, Carolyn, it sounds like, aside from
Chrissy Swan, no one really vibed this flavor.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Is that correct?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Just say it?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
No one was buying it right.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
It's been a little while and we've moved a few
you different things. You know, people these days want protein
or we're doing overnight bircher sachets, different things. Shelves aren't
made of elastic. Sadly, she's a copy. There is evolution.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I have not. I've not given up hope. Get you,
you know, intensive micro research people out there, because cha
is full of protein. That's all I have to say
to you, Carolyn Crystel, thank you so much for joining me. Listen.
I've tried to recreate it and I can't. Damn you
because the flavor is so good.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Well, Swanny, after speaking to Carolyn, I don't think you're
ever going to have this in your hot little hands again,
if I'm honest, don't. I don't think Carolyn's all about
evolving an evolution.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I just I can never open that last sashet.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
No, we should probably frame that. Maybe we can put
it in like a nice frame and put it on
the wall in the office.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, and I'll put a little sign on saying in
case of emergency.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Smash thirteen, twenty four to ten.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
What product or item has been discontinued that you're still
sad about? Like Swanny and her almond coconut and chia
porridge the Crissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Tee you what I'm not thrilled about my favorite porridge.
It's made by Carmen's. Comes in a box of like
ten saschets. It's been discontinued. It's been a while since
it's been discontinued. I've known this day was coming. I'm
down to my last.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Sashet, and I mean I'm sort of glad you're down
to your last sashet. I hate to sort.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Of why I set it down. That's a That's a
use by date thing, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
It's a use by date thing, swany. I don't want
you eating things that are best before the twenty fifth
of August twenty twenty two. You're better than that. You're Christmaswan.
You deserve porridge that's in date.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm so sad it's coming to an end. We did
just cash up with Carolyn from Carmen's, who told me,
in no uncertain terms, I was the only person who
liked it, and I won't be coming back. She didn't really,
that was just the.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Vibe I got, you know, VI she said, used the
word evolution a lot, which means it's not coming back.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
No, it's not. We're not going back to apes and
this porridge is never going to be seen on our
shelves again. Thirteen twenty four ten. What has been discontinued
that you loved so deeply and you miss every single day?
Hello Jamie, Hi, guys, how are you good? What do
you miss? With every fiber of your being?
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Do you guys remember those emin M biscuit bars?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
No, it took me through them.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
It was you know, it was a good day in
prim school and you opened your lunch box and I
was one.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
Of those in there.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
It was a base with a chocolate on top, and
then eminem and then more chocolates on top.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I do. And they had like the brown crust around
the side.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yes, Oh they were so young, Jamie. I had forgotten
about those.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
Good Yes, And now that I've got kids, I want
them from my kids.
Speaker 6 (07:11):
Ou do you have tried the handed a versions? They're
just not the same.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh no, I've just remembered. I promised that I was
going to discuss a Sconer. Do you remember Sconer's or
maybe you're too young, Jamie and Joe?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
What are they?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It was an amazing ice cream, like just on a
stick that you bought, you know, from the milk bar.
It was called a Sconer and it was apricot and
something else. It was perfection and I miss it every day,
I really do.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Thanks for your call, Jamie, Jamie, We're going to send
you a Baker's Delight voucher.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Let's go to Linda on.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Thirteen, twenty four ten. What product or item is being
discontinued that you're still sad about.
Speaker 7 (07:52):
I'm still devo that I can't get a sunny boy?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
What was there was the sunny boy the orange one?
Or was that just sort of like an umbrella term
for all of those triangular icy poles.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
The orange was the the og, I think. And then
they came out with the ras, the rug, yes, the glug,
the collar glug.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh my god. And do you remember I've asked many
people this and people look at me like, are you crazy?
This didn't happen. Sometimes you'd be at the pool or
something on a very hot day with your friends, and
you'd already gone up to that little shop they have
there and got some hot chips or whatever and a
sunny boy, and then you got back and you tore
it open with his teeth because nobody ever brought scissors
(08:37):
to the public pool. And then you pop it up
and the first thing you do is you pull out
the whole ice icy pole triangle and you check if
there's yellow riding inside. And the yellow riding meant it
was called a free and admit that you could take
it back to you know, Norma who ran the kiosk
and get a free one? Do you remember freeze, Linda?
Speaker 7 (09:02):
Oh? Was there a better day in your life?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You got free the yellow writing I don't even know
what the yellow writing said, did it say you've got
a free or whatever?
Speaker 7 (09:13):
I can't remember either, and I never got one, much
to my you know, devastating disence.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I got them regularly, Yeah, I got them quite regularly.
I just must be kissed on the sunny po Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I can't believe I'm just reading here. We haven't had
Sonny Boy since twenty sixteen, nine years.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's been a long nine It's been a long nine
years in the wilderness. Linda, I hear you.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Baker's light voucher for you, Linda. Let's finish with Kelly
Swannye Kel, what.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Do you miss because it's been discontinued.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Hi, Christy, I missed fan Tail.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Me to Kelly. Yes, I still don't understand why, out
of all the lollies, why that one.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I know, I heard that they needed to do some
work on one of the machine and it was going
to cost so much money and it wasn't worth it
for the sales and stuff. But then I looked it
all up and I didn't realize it was like one
or two years ago or something that they did it
because they actually had a big thing. You could buy
fan tails before they got before they all went and
(10:15):
I didn't even know else I would have loaded up
on them.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Oh no, I remember that you weren't listening to this
show because we talked about it a lot. Cal What
I can offer is this, how long has it been
since you've had a caramel Sunday from McDonald's.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Maybe about eighteen months?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh see, it's more recent. That's my absolute favorite flavor
at Macha's. And I just had a hankering for one,
maybe four days ago, and it's been years. I realized
as I was at the driver, I thought, I have
had one of these for years. And I took a
big pulled over, but I really want to enjoy it.
Took a big scoop of the caramel and ice cream,
and guess what it tasted exactly like?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Did it tastes like a fan tail?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It tasted like the fantail Kelly Geese to the drive
through Day for you, The Christy Swan Show, The Creasy
Swan Show. I want to talk about hosting Core.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, I'm not across this, okay.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I cannot believe that I know something in the in
the in the lexicon, in the parlance of our times,
in the zeitgeist, that you do not know.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I mean you know everything.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Correction, I used to know. I used to know everything.
I haven't even been to Mason Bittad I know. And
what you don't think that I would have been there
on opening nights shucking those oysters back and ordering the
steak with the three different sources. Yes, I would have
once upon a time, in another lifetime.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
What happened to you?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
What happened?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Anyway happened hosting core?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
It's actually what happened to me and hosting core are
strangely related. So hosting core is a trend for twenty
twenty five. Okay, and weirdly I was doing it before
I knew that there was a name for it. Do
you know when that you know what?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
That happens?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Occasion? So have you noticed that I am. I have
been enjoying even as far back as my fiftieth birthday
party and previously. I love to put together beautiful events
for people I love at home. You do, and that
includes choosing the cutlery and the table runner and then
(12:25):
like the serviettes and all of that tablecloths, the flowers, everything.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
The attention to detail that you put in is second
to none.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Well, I've gone next level. I now have a cabinet
in that room off the kitchen, that the photoshoot room,
the photoshoot room, the storage room, the whiteboard room where
Leo alleges that he studies all of that. So I've
(12:53):
got this long band of cupboards and in those cupboards
is all my hostings stuff according to theme and you
know category.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Okay, So for example, your fiftieth last year, yes the
theme was yellow.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
The theme was yellow. But you may also remember I
used a vintage Villeroy and bo Acapulco print dinner set
that I got very very cheaply and didn't realize it
was so valuable. I just like the way it looked,
but we ate off that, and that's sort of what
kicked me off.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Since then, I've had a lady's luncheon with like little
crystal cut from Kmart. But you can get away with
so much little crystal cut vasas with different sort of
wild flowers that you go and get like at the
end of the florist day, so that don't cost anything.
What is they called fabric napkins by the way, thirteen
(13:50):
twenty four to ten, am I talking your language here,
because it's a very special desire and gift to set
a table in a theme.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
So you try to tell me your Australia is Martha Stewart.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Correct, got it? Then Leo I threw a Middle Eastern
party for him through sixteenth.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yes, with that beautiful food you hear, Oh.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
My god, it was amazing. But the table decorations I bought,
like really like twenty five dollars runners, carpet runners, doubt,
and they were the centerpiece of each table.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I love a runner. It's really elegant and sophisticated.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
On a table, like amazing. And then I had or
I had fresh lemons and little pots of rosemary that
I cut from my garden, like I've gone next level.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
A couple of weeks ago, I did a Greek feastep
and instead of just going oh here you go, here's
just like he's here's the wraps, I had blue and white.
I got little blue and white enamel bowls from Kmar. Okay,
Like I am next level.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Now, wonder you had to get a skip and declutter
your house because you've now got to fill it with
all this other shit.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
No, but everything is going to be reused. Everything's being reused.
I've reused things on several occasions. It gives me so
much joy host hosting Core. It also means that you've
got drinks and snacks at the ready whenever anyone comes over.
(15:18):
You are the ultimate host. And the key thing about
that is you don't have to leave the house. I
was going to say, thirteen twenty four to ten, are
you into hosting Core? Is this your love language? Let
me know?
Speaker 3 (15:29):
It's also cost efficient, right.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yes, the Chrissy Swan Show. And if you're free on Saturday,
why don't you come over. I'm doing an American themed night.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
You actually this Saturday?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
You should when I think about it. No Peg has
asked for a Yankee themed kind of birthday because she
loves all of that stuff. We should want to reach
act chears.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
You know we should do it and bring back do
like heaps of plastic straws.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Off the back of Trump's executive.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Order, a great thing about hosting core. It is a
trend for twenty twenty five. You know I'm going to
say I said it. I said the trend. And it's
all about theme functions for your friends. It's about being
a lovely place for your friends to come over to.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
It's about not having to pay for dinners at restaurants
and leaching off your friends.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I know I'm here for that.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm happy for that.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Sign me up, Steph.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Are you all about hosting Core?
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Hi, Chrissy and Jack. First of all, I love you guys,
like this is my absolute love language. But we're talking
about I'm coasting corp at like the finest. I'm someone
who loves having their friends and family over, creating that
arm beyond, you know, creating that kind of atmosphere that
you just can't get at a restaurant.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Did you know, Steph that it had a name that
it was hosting Core?
Speaker 6 (16:51):
Look, I feel like I was hosting something, but no,
and I kind of feel like it's now like a
secret language that like you know, we're all in.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Like yeah, and how exciting is it? Like we were
just talking then about sort of an American themed So
now what happens? Jack and you will understand this, Steff,
because you are also a hosting Cora. Now that that's
been mentioned, it must happen, and it's parked in my brain.
So wherever I am online, shoving or whatever, walking past
(17:21):
two dollars shop, if I see something that would look
good for the American theme, for the American theme, I'll
get it.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I love this now, yeah, Steph, give us one like
detail that you really put into your dinners or events,
Like give us like a I don't know, is it
a type of place matter or a candle?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
What do you do that's very you?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
So for me, I'm known for my layering of candles
in the same piece, similar to what Chrissy was saying
about the table runner. I'm known for like layering different
kind of candles, but not having your typical candle kind
of sense. I'm known for like literally, if say I
was doing an American thing in a party, creating like
selecting a candle that's specific to like an American maybe
(18:06):
like oak wood or something that reminds like a guest
of Yellowstone Park flaaring it in the most exquizard Wait,
like I am.
Speaker 8 (18:15):
I'm not.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
I'm not being you know, up myself, but I'm pretty good.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Isn't it great when you find like clearance candlesticks for
one dollar ninety nine was thirty dollars and then you
have them all in the different heights and textures, and.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Like, honestly, I here discount shops, anything that's like that,
like thristing.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
It Victoria's basement.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I think a keyboard would be proud of you, Steph.
And also I'm going to send you a soda stream
for your home and your events.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Oh my gosh, sure wow, thank you guys.
Speaker 8 (18:48):
You guys.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Then you can make a signature drink. Yes, Steph, hockey tea,
cocky tea.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Let's go to victorious moning.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
Hey, Hello, how are you.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Coming over to your place for an English afternoon tea?
Speaker 7 (19:02):
Mom?
Speaker 9 (19:03):
Oh, you're more than welcome.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
There's lots of teered like presentation things, aren't there, Like
little sandwiches and then little pretty fours and then cupcakes.
You've got a lot of them, haven't you.
Speaker 9 (19:13):
Vic Oh, it's absolutely great because like an alph in Wonderland,
like Mad Heather Vibe. So everyone's got their own little
teacups and sauces, Like I got to the op shop
and I find these really cool sauces and teacups and teapots.
It's a whole heap of fie that.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
It's really good.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
We have so fun. And then and then once you've
finished using them on that occasion, you don't throw it
away because you can use the teacups in another month
as vases or you know, as somewhere to put the
rolled butter.
Speaker 9 (19:46):
Yeah that's a good idea. But I just love them
because I keep them because they's so original, and sometimes
if I'm feeling generous, they get to actually take their
home their own teacup frame, which.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
Is really cool.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, I'm mad for giving people a gift as well.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, Victoria's rich aside a stream for you, Victoria The Christy.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Swan Shows, The Christy Swan Show. I want to talk
about disgusting habits that you have had to endure because
you're going out with someone briefly, long term, whatever. And
Jack's got some other questions as well. It's a deep
dive if you will. Kathy Griffin is an American comedian,
(20:22):
very brash, I would say, controversial, speaks.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Her mind, loves hanging out with Sea, loves hanging out.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
With Sea allows Sea to just sit in the living
room screaming. Her song sounds awful, so funny. But she
has released this little snippet on the Tiki talkie and
we are shook.
Speaker 8 (20:45):
There's a picture of me and my then boyfriend Jack Black.
Other bros thought I was cool because I was teady.
So one night I spent the night there and the
next day I'm in the shower, I get off on
the bath mat. I said, I need a shower towel,
and it goes on it. He knows that straight guys.
He had one bath mat slash towel that he used
(21:07):
for both and that was it. So naturally I kept
sleeping with them.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Now, I mean a few things there. She says, Oh,
that's straight guys. That is not straight guys. That is
not any guy that I've ever met.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I'm so glad that you pinpointed that comment, because that
was going to be my first thing I bring up
with you. I have mainly straight mates, and they are
clean and their hygienic, except you Campbell, but most of
them are clean and hygienic.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
What we cannot understand is what happened that made you
think it was okay to not have any bath towels
in the house and only one bath mat that you
stand on when you're wet, and then you use that
(21:51):
same mat to try yourself to dry yourself. That I
have so many questions.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
As to why, like the process and the method of it,
Like are you standing on the towel out of the shower,
then the market mat, the bath mat, sorry, then lifting
it up to dry yourself. Or are you grabbing the
bath mat first whilst you're in a shower, quickly drying
yourself off, then laying it down in the bathroom, then
stepping onto it naked already dry thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
If you are a dude that does this, you can
be anonymous. We won't judge you.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I really want to speak to you, and I will
give you a great prize because I just want to
understand how it works.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And also it must be I'm imagining having that at
my place. My bath mats that I stand on are
quite thick and rigid. Yeah, so obviously Jack Blacks was
just one of those like you get at a travel lodge. Yeah,
must have been thin. I mean, that would be the
end of the relationship. If I was having a shower
(22:51):
at someone's house, friendship, relationship, whatever, and I said can
I use your towel and they said you're standing on it,
I would say I'm leaving now and you will never
see me again.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Tata. I'm also going to call Triple zero on my
way out, because you need help.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
The Chrissy swanshow comedian Kathy Griffin has has dropped a bombshell.
I didn't know that she was dating Jack Black.
Speaker 8 (23:16):
This is a picture of me and my then boyfriend
Jack Black. Other bros thought I was cool.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Because I was dating.
Speaker 8 (23:23):
So one night I spent the night there and the
next day I'm in the shower, I get off on
the bath mat. I said, I need a shower towel,
and he goes, you're standing on it, you guys, that's
straight guys. He had one bath mat slash towel that he.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Used for both and that was it.
Speaker 8 (23:38):
So naturally I kept sleeping with him.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I'm sorry, what well, So, don't lump all straight guys
into that cap.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
No, absolutely not. That is absolutely true. That is not
no a straight guy thing. That is a no guy thing.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Though, if you do this, because Swanny, we want to
understand the process and method of it.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We want it. We've got so many questions, and I'm
just feeling sick all over again because I've realized that
the bath mat is obviously on the floor, So regardless
of how clean your floor is, there's going to be
floor things on it. Hair flex of deodorant. Do you
know what I mean? And then you're wiping your clean
(24:20):
body with something that's been on the floor.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Imagine if there's a rogue nail clipping and it scratches.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Michael, Michael, Hello, Should I have changed your name to
protect you?
Speaker 10 (24:33):
No, it's so good. I'm happy with my decisions.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
So you are on the phone on the Cristy Swan
show to tell us that you have done this.
Speaker 10 (24:43):
I have when I was single.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Okay, So what my first question is what was the
thickness of the chosen bath mat?
Speaker 10 (24:53):
It was just a regular cowel a Matt, Yeah, And
what would you you do?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Michael?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Would you use that towel as a bath mat after
you've dried yourself off?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, Like the tap is off, what happens next? Michael?
Speaker 10 (25:09):
So I get it off the floor and I dry myself,
and then I put it back on the floor and
then I step onto it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Michael, You're better than this, brother, No, Because.
Speaker 10 (25:22):
Let's say you do laundry. The towel is clean, you
put it on the floor, it's clean, and then you shower.
You're clean, so you step on the mat. That's the
use the towel that's clean. You put it back on
the floor. That's clean, and then you're good to go
for the next time.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Okay, so everything's clean, all right?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I sort of see where you're coming from, don't. So
let's go to the next time you've mentioned it. Where
does it live after it's done that double duty on
the floor or do you hang it?
Speaker 10 (25:54):
Depends how wet it is. Generally I would hang it
up again so to dry it for the next time,
But if I'm in a rush, I might just leave
it there.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
So the towel that you're drying your body with the
next time has been on the floor with your feet
on it and stuff.
Speaker 10 (26:13):
Sometimes yeah, but most of the time I've hung it
up after I've stepped on it and I'm completely dry,
and then I'll hang it up and then get ready.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
So you said that used to do this when you
were single. What was the reaction when your now wife
realized that your towel slash bath matt was the same thing?
Speaker 10 (26:33):
Basically your guys's reaction shocking horror?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Were you surprised? Married me so good on her? Was
she surprised? Were you surprised by her vehement reaction?
Speaker 10 (26:45):
Not really, because when my parents. We had a towel
for everything, and then when I moved in by myself,
I had to choose what I wanted to do, and
I didn't want to do much laundry. I've found it
more efficient.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
There's a bit of childhood tow try there.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Probably we're going to send you a two hundred dollars
voucher for door dash quickly, Kevin, do you do this?
Speaker 9 (27:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (27:10):
Man, I do.
Speaker 10 (27:13):
Unfortunately, I well, no, Luckily for me, I live by myself.
Speaker 6 (27:16):
So when I come out the shower, I've just.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Got a pretty nice bubble bath mat I use that
I shake off and.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
Then the heat lambs take care of the rest.
Speaker 10 (27:26):
So I have four beautiful heat lamps.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
Pretty much drive me naturally, and I'm bold, so I
don't have to worry about my hair either. And after
about two to three minutes, but.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
Pretty much just throw on the clothes.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
And just to go.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Kevin, this is astonishing to me. Why why wouldn't you
just buy a towel?
Speaker 6 (27:47):
Nah, no time to do washing.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
It's less laundry.
Speaker 7 (27:51):
To judge me.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
So it's the cave is a bit of water left
throwing around, But oh, two hundred dollar voucher for door dash.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Maybe you could show the door dash of your heatlas.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
The Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more
great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.
Speaker 7 (28:09):
Do you
Yes, it's a Christys one show. I'm about to do
something momentous, Jack, Okay, I am about to eat my
last stockpiled Carmen's porridge sashet. And you may be listening
and going, hang on the mint. It had can to
(00:22):
be the last one. They're all over there, in every
supermarket in every city in the land. Yeah, well not
this one. A few years ago, I fell in love
with a specific flavor of Carmen's porridge. Come in a
little sashet, fill it up to the line with milk,
ninety seconds in the microwave. It was called almond, coconut
(00:44):
and chea, and my mouth ate it, and I was
in heaven.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
That surprises me that you sort of strayge us from
everyday normal porridge, because I just feel like that's so perfect.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Correct. I agree, And normally I would never I would
never have a sashet. But this sashet was the stuff
of God's and I use it. I use the past tense.
There was because I went to buy another box of
it years ago, and that was when I realized that
it was hurts me to say discontinued. Oh no, and
(01:22):
I could not find it anywhere, and I have been
rationing those sachets that I had. I think I had
two or three boxes when I realized that they were discontinued,
and I'm down to my last one. Jack, I'm going
to hand you the sashet now. I want you to
turn it over and tell me the use by day.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Swan best before the twenty fifth of August twenty twenty two.
If that's not Christy Swan coated, I don't know what
he is.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
A desperate woman has to do desperate things.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Jack, So you've been eating, have you?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Have you noticed that they're passed there?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Absolutely not, absolutely not as delicious as the very first
time I fell in love with it.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Why do you think they were discontinued?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Listen? I don't know. I've been doing a lot of
soul searching about this. Why why something so perfect could
be discontinued? And this happens to me all the time.
Anything I fall in love with gets discontinued. Maybe it
happens to you too. Thirteen twenty four to ten, give
us a call. Has something that you have absolutely fallen
in love with and think that you can't live without
(02:26):
suddenly and brutally is no longer available gets discontinued. Give
us a call on the line. Right now is the
boss lady of Carmen's. She joins us, Carolyn Creswell, welcome.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Oh I'm laughing so much. Christy.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Oh oh, bully for you.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Ha ha. You're not the one who now has to
live without her favorite porridge. Carolyn, what are you doing
to me?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Well, the thing with products and food market it's an
ever so something out goes the old and incomes of
fresh new flavors, things that people looking for. A Promise,
if you tried some of the newer flavors, maybe you
would also fall in love with them as much as
the two year old Rather sad Sasha's still floating in
(03:20):
your handbag.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Carolyn, I need to I need to tell you something
about this porridge. It is the most perfect thing that
I've ever eaten for breakfast, and I think that you
should bring it back. And this is why, presuming that
it was launched. I don't know when it was launched.
Can you remember what year? I mean?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Probably not about six seven years ago?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Right, See, people didn't know that they wanted chia. Then
now they do bring it back.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Well, we do these limited editions. So at the moment,
we've got a sticky date putting limited edition. Maybe I
need to bring this one back as the quispy limited
edition Porridge Sachet to you know, reinvigorate the porridge sachet community.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Krolyn, are there any lying around the warehouse that you
could give to a lady desperation?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Let me go and have a hunt for you, Carol.
I haven't quite had a lady in this much desperation before.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Between you and me, Carolyn, it sounds like, aside from
Chrissy Swan, no one really vibed this flavor.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Is that correct?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Just say it?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
No one was buying it right.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
It's been a little while and we've moved a few
you different things. You know, people these days want protein
or we're doing overnight bircher sachets, different things. Shelves aren't
made of elastic. Sadly, she's a copy. There is evolution.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I have not. I've not given up hope. Get you,
you know, intensive micro research people out there, because cha
is full of protein. That's all I have to say
to you, Carolyn Crystel, thank you so much for joining me. Listen.
I've tried to recreate it and I can't. Damn you
because the flavor is so good.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Well, Swanny, after speaking to Carolyn, I don't think you're
ever going to have this in your hot little hands again,
if I'm honest, don't. I don't think Carolyn's all about
evolving an evolution.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I just I can never open that last sashet.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
No, we should probably frame that. Maybe we can put
it in like a nice frame and put it on
the wall in the office.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, and I'll put a little sign on saying in
case of emergency.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Smash thirteen, twenty four to ten.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
What product or item has been discontinued that you're still
sad about? Like Swanny and her almond coconut and chia
porridge the Crissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Tee you what I'm not thrilled about my favorite porridge.
It's made by Carmen's. Comes in a box of like
ten saschets. It's been discontinued. It's been a while since
it's been discontinued. I've known this day was coming. I'm
down to my last.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Sashet, and I mean I'm sort of glad you're down
to your last sashet. I hate to sort.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Of why I set it down. That's a That's a
use by date thing, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
It's a use by date thing, swany. I don't want
you eating things that are best before the twenty fifth
of August twenty twenty two. You're better than that. You're Christmaswan.
You deserve porridge that's in date.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm so sad it's coming to an end. We did
just cash up with Carolyn from Carmen's, who told me,
in no uncertain terms, I was the only person who
liked it, and I won't be coming back. She didn't really,
that was just the.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Vibe I got, you know, VI she said, used the
word evolution a lot, which means it's not coming back.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
No, it's not. We're not going back to apes and
this porridge is never going to be seen on our
shelves again. Thirteen twenty four ten. What has been discontinued
that you loved so deeply and you miss every single day?
Hello Jamie, Hi, guys, how are you good? What do
you miss? With every fiber of your being?
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Do you guys remember those emin M biscuit bars?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
No, it took me through them.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
It was you know, it was a good day in
prim school and you opened your lunch box and I
was one.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
Of those in there.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
It was a base with a chocolate on top, and
then eminem and then more chocolates on top.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I do. And they had like the brown crust around
the side.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yes, Oh they were so young, Jamie. I had forgotten
about those.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
Good Yes, And now that I've got kids, I want
them from my kids.
Speaker 6 (07:11):
Ou do you have tried the handed a versions? They're
just not the same.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh no, I've just remembered. I promised that I was
going to discuss a Sconer. Do you remember Sconer's or
maybe you're too young, Jamie and Joe?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
What are they?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It was an amazing ice cream, like just on a
stick that you bought, you know, from the milk bar.
It was called a Sconer and it was apricot and
something else. It was perfection and I miss it every day,
I really do.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Thanks for your call, Jamie, Jamie, We're going to send
you a Baker's Delight voucher.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Let's go to Linda on.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Thirteen, twenty four ten. What product or item is being
discontinued that you're still sad about.
Speaker 7 (07:52):
I'm still devo that I can't get a sunny boy?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
What was there was the sunny boy the orange one?
Or was that just sort of like an umbrella term
for all of those triangular icy poles.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
The orange was the the og, I think. And then
they came out with the ras, the rug, yes, the glug,
the collar glug.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh my god. And do you remember I've asked many
people this and people look at me like, are you crazy?
This didn't happen. Sometimes you'd be at the pool or
something on a very hot day with your friends, and
you'd already gone up to that little shop they have
there and got some hot chips or whatever and a
sunny boy, and then you got back and you tore
it open with his teeth because nobody ever brought scissors
(08:37):
to the public pool. And then you pop it up
and the first thing you do is you pull out
the whole ice icy pole triangle and you check if
there's yellow riding inside. And the yellow riding meant it
was called a free and admit that you could take
it back to you know, Norma who ran the kiosk
and get a free one? Do you remember freeze, Linda?
Speaker 7 (09:02):
Oh? Was there a better day in your life?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You got free the yellow writing I don't even know
what the yellow writing said, did it say you've got
a free or whatever?
Speaker 7 (09:13):
I can't remember either, and I never got one, much
to my you know, devastating disence.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I got them regularly, Yeah, I got them quite regularly.
I just must be kissed on the sunny po Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I can't believe I'm just reading here. We haven't had
Sonny Boy since twenty sixteen, nine years.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's been a long nine It's been a long nine
years in the wilderness. Linda, I hear you.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Baker's light voucher for you, Linda. Let's finish with Kelly
Swannye Kel, what.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Do you miss because it's been discontinued.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Hi, Christy, I missed fan Tail.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Me to Kelly. Yes, I still don't understand why, out
of all the lollies, why that one.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I know, I heard that they needed to do some
work on one of the machine and it was going
to cost so much money and it wasn't worth it
for the sales and stuff. But then I looked it
all up and I didn't realize it was like one
or two years ago or something that they did it
because they actually had a big thing. You could buy
fan tails before they got before they all went and
(10:15):
I didn't even know else I would have loaded up
on them.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Oh no, I remember that you weren't listening to this
show because we talked about it a lot. Cal What
I can offer is this, how long has it been
since you've had a caramel Sunday from McDonald's.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Maybe about eighteen months?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh see, it's more recent. That's my absolute favorite flavor
at Macha's. And I just had a hankering for one,
maybe four days ago, and it's been years. I realized
as I was at the driver, I thought, I have
had one of these for years. And I took a
big pulled over, but I really want to enjoy it.
Took a big scoop of the caramel and ice cream,
and guess what it tasted exactly like?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Did it tastes like a fan tail?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It tasted like the fantail Kelly Geese to the drive
through Day for you, The Christy Swan Show, The Creasy
Swan Show. I want to talk about hosting Core.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, I'm not across this, okay.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I cannot believe that I know something in the in
the in the lexicon, in the parlance of our times,
in the zeitgeist, that you do not know.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I mean you know everything.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Correction, I used to know. I used to know everything.
I haven't even been to Mason Bittad I know. And
what you don't think that I would have been there
on opening nights shucking those oysters back and ordering the
steak with the three different sources. Yes, I would have
once upon a time, in another lifetime.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
What happened to you?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
What happened?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Anyway happened hosting core?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
It's actually what happened to me and hosting core are
strangely related. So hosting core is a trend for twenty
twenty five. Okay, and weirdly I was doing it before
I knew that there was a name for it. Do
you know when that you know what?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
That happens?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Occasion? So have you noticed that I am. I have
been enjoying even as far back as my fiftieth birthday
party and previously. I love to put together beautiful events
for people I love at home. You do, and that
includes choosing the cutlery and the table runner and then
(12:25):
like the serviettes and all of that tablecloths, the flowers, everything.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
The attention to detail that you put in is second
to none.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Well, I've gone next level. I now have a cabinet
in that room off the kitchen, that the photoshoot room,
the photoshoot room, the storage room, the whiteboard room where
Leo alleges that he studies all of that. So I've
(12:53):
got this long band of cupboards and in those cupboards
is all my hostings stuff according to theme and you
know category.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Okay, So for example, your fiftieth last year, yes the
theme was yellow.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
The theme was yellow. But you may also remember I
used a vintage Villeroy and bo Acapulco print dinner set
that I got very very cheaply and didn't realize it
was so valuable. I just like the way it looked,
but we ate off that, and that's sort of what
kicked me off.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Since then, I've had a lady's luncheon with like little
crystal cut from Kmart. But you can get away with
so much little crystal cut vasas with different sort of
wild flowers that you go and get like at the
end of the florist day, so that don't cost anything.
What is they called fabric napkins by the way, thirteen
(13:50):
twenty four to ten, am I talking your language here,
because it's a very special desire and gift to set
a table in a theme.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
So you try to tell me your Australia is Martha Stewart.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Correct, got it? Then Leo I threw a Middle Eastern
party for him through sixteenth.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yes, with that beautiful food you hear, Oh.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
My god, it was amazing. But the table decorations I bought,
like really like twenty five dollars runners, carpet runners, doubt,
and they were the centerpiece of each table.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I love a runner. It's really elegant and sophisticated.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
On a table, like amazing. And then I had or
I had fresh lemons and little pots of rosemary that
I cut from my garden, like I've gone next level.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
A couple of weeks ago, I did a Greek feastep
and instead of just going oh here you go, here's
just like he's here's the wraps, I had blue and white.
I got little blue and white enamel bowls from Kmar. Okay,
Like I am next level.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Now, wonder you had to get a skip and declutter
your house because you've now got to fill it with
all this other shit.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
No, but everything is going to be reused. Everything's being reused.
I've reused things on several occasions. It gives me so
much joy host hosting Core. It also means that you've
got drinks and snacks at the ready whenever anyone comes over.
(15:18):
You are the ultimate host. And the key thing about
that is you don't have to leave the house. I
was going to say, thirteen twenty four to ten, are
you into hosting Core? Is this your love language? Let
me know?
Speaker 3 (15:29):
It's also cost efficient, right.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yes, the Chrissy Swan Show. And if you're free on Saturday,
why don't you come over. I'm doing an American themed night.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
You actually this Saturday?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
You should when I think about it. No Peg has
asked for a Yankee themed kind of birthday because she
loves all of that stuff. We should want to reach
act chears.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
You know we should do it and bring back do
like heaps of plastic straws.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Off the back of Trump's executive.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Order, a great thing about hosting core. It is a
trend for twenty twenty five. You know I'm going to
say I said it. I said the trend. And it's
all about theme functions for your friends. It's about being
a lovely place for your friends to come over to.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
It's about not having to pay for dinners at restaurants
and leaching off your friends.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I know I'm here for that.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm happy for that.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Sign me up, Steph.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Are you all about hosting Core?
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Hi, Chrissy and Jack. First of all, I love you guys,
like this is my absolute love language. But we're talking
about I'm coasting corp at like the finest. I'm someone
who loves having their friends and family over, creating that
arm beyond, you know, creating that kind of atmosphere that
you just can't get at a restaurant.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Did you know, Steph that it had a name that
it was hosting Core?
Speaker 6 (16:51):
Look, I feel like I was hosting something, but no,
and I kind of feel like it's now like a
secret language that like you know, we're all in.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Like yeah, and how exciting is it? Like we were
just talking then about sort of an American themed So
now what happens? Jack and you will understand this, Steff,
because you are also a hosting Cora. Now that that's
been mentioned, it must happen, and it's parked in my brain.
So wherever I am online, shoving or whatever, walking past
(17:21):
two dollars shop, if I see something that would look
good for the American theme, for the American theme, I'll
get it.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I love this now, yeah, Steph, give us one like
detail that you really put into your dinners or events,
Like give us like a I don't know, is it
a type of place matter or a candle?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
What do you do that's very you?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
So for me, I'm known for my layering of candles
in the same piece, similar to what Chrissy was saying
about the table runner. I'm known for like layering different
kind of candles, but not having your typical candle kind
of sense. I'm known for like literally, if say I
was doing an American thing in a party, creating like
selecting a candle that's specific to like an American maybe
(18:06):
like oak wood or something that reminds like a guest
of Yellowstone Park flaaring it in the most exquizard Wait,
like I am.
Speaker 8 (18:15):
I'm not.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
I'm not being you know, up myself, but I'm pretty good.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Isn't it great when you find like clearance candlesticks for
one dollar ninety nine was thirty dollars and then you
have them all in the different heights and textures, and.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Like, honestly, I here discount shops, anything that's like that,
like thristing.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
It Victoria's basement.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I think a keyboard would be proud of you, Steph.
And also I'm going to send you a soda stream
for your home and your events.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Oh my gosh, sure wow, thank you guys.
Speaker 8 (18:48):
You guys.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Then you can make a signature drink. Yes, Steph, hockey tea,
cocky tea.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Let's go to victorious moning.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
Hey, Hello, how are you.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Coming over to your place for an English afternoon tea?
Speaker 7 (19:02):
Mom?
Speaker 9 (19:03):
Oh, you're more than welcome.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
There's lots of teered like presentation things, aren't there, Like
little sandwiches and then little pretty fours and then cupcakes.
You've got a lot of them, haven't you.
Speaker 9 (19:13):
Vic Oh, it's absolutely great because like an alph in Wonderland,
like Mad Heather Vibe. So everyone's got their own little
teacups and sauces, Like I got to the op shop
and I find these really cool sauces and teacups and teapots.
It's a whole heap of fie that.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
It's really good.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
We have so fun. And then and then once you've
finished using them on that occasion, you don't throw it
away because you can use the teacups in another month
as vases or you know, as somewhere to put the
rolled butter.
Speaker 9 (19:46):
Yeah that's a good idea. But I just love them
because I keep them because they's so original, and sometimes
if I'm feeling generous, they get to actually take their
home their own teacup frame, which.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
Is really cool.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, I'm mad for giving people a gift as well.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, Victoria's rich aside a stream for you, Victoria The Christy.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Swan Shows, The Christy Swan Show. I want to talk
about disgusting habits that you have had to endure because
you're going out with someone briefly, long term, whatever. And
Jack's got some other questions as well. It's a deep
dive if you will. Kathy Griffin is an American comedian,
(20:22):
very brash, I would say, controversial, speaks.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Her mind, loves hanging out with Sea, loves hanging out.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
With Sea allows Sea to just sit in the living
room screaming. Her song sounds awful, so funny. But she
has released this little snippet on the Tiki talkie and
we are shook.
Speaker 8 (20:45):
There's a picture of me and my then boyfriend Jack Black.
Other bros thought I was cool because I was teady.
So one night I spent the night there and the
next day I'm in the shower, I get off on
the bath mat. I said, I need a shower towel,
and it goes on it. He knows that straight guys.
He had one bath mat slash towel that he used
(21:07):
for both and that was it. So naturally I kept
sleeping with them.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Now, I mean a few things there. She says, Oh,
that's straight guys. That is not straight guys. That is
not any guy that I've ever met.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I'm so glad that you pinpointed that comment, because that
was going to be my first thing I bring up
with you. I have mainly straight mates, and they are
clean and their hygienic, except you Campbell, but most of
them are clean and hygienic.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
What we cannot understand is what happened that made you
think it was okay to not have any bath towels
in the house and only one bath mat that you
stand on when you're wet, and then you use that
(21:51):
same mat to try yourself to dry yourself. That I
have so many questions.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
As to why, like the process and the method of it,
Like are you standing on the towel out of the shower,
then the market mat, the bath mat, sorry, then lifting
it up to dry yourself. Or are you grabbing the
bath mat first whilst you're in a shower, quickly drying
yourself off, then laying it down in the bathroom, then
stepping onto it naked already dry thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
If you are a dude that does this, you can
be anonymous. We won't judge you.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I really want to speak to you, and I will
give you a great prize because I just want to
understand how it works.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
And also it must be I'm imagining having that at
my place. My bath mats that I stand on are
quite thick and rigid. Yeah, so obviously Jack Blacks was
just one of those like you get at a travel lodge. Yeah,
must have been thin. I mean, that would be the
end of the relationship. If I was having a shower
(22:51):
at someone's house, friendship, relationship, whatever, and I said can
I use your towel and they said you're standing on it,
I would say I'm leaving now and you will never
see me again.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Tata. I'm also going to call Triple zero on my
way out, because you need help.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
The Chrissy swanshow comedian Kathy Griffin has has dropped a bombshell.
I didn't know that she was dating Jack Black.
Speaker 8 (23:16):
This is a picture of me and my then boyfriend
Jack Black. Other bros thought I was cool.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Because I was dating.
Speaker 8 (23:23):
So one night I spent the night there and the
next day I'm in the shower, I get off on
the bath mat. I said, I need a shower towel,
and he goes, you're standing on it, you guys, that's
straight guys. He had one bath mat slash towel that he.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Used for both and that was it.
Speaker 8 (23:38):
So naturally I kept sleeping with him.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I'm sorry, what well, So, don't lump all straight guys
into that cap.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
No, absolutely not. That is absolutely true. That is not
no a straight guy thing. That is a no guy thing.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Though, if you do this, because Swanny, we want to
understand the process and method of it.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We want it. We've got so many questions, and I'm
just feeling sick all over again because I've realized that
the bath mat is obviously on the floor, So regardless
of how clean your floor is, there's going to be
floor things on it. Hair flex of deodorant. Do you
know what I mean? And then you're wiping your clean
(24:20):
body with something that's been on the floor.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Imagine if there's a rogue nail clipping and it scratches.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Michael, Michael, Hello, Should I have changed your name to
protect you?
Speaker 10 (24:33):
No, it's so good. I'm happy with my decisions.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
So you are on the phone on the Cristy Swan
show to tell us that you have done this.
Speaker 10 (24:43):
I have when I was single.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Okay, So what my first question is what was the
thickness of the chosen bath mat?
Speaker 10 (24:53):
It was just a regular cowel a Matt, Yeah, And
what would you you do?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Michael?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Would you use that towel as a bath mat after
you've dried yourself off?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, Like the tap is off, what happens next? Michael?
Speaker 10 (25:09):
So I get it off the floor and I dry myself,
and then I put it back on the floor and
then I step onto it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Michael, You're better than this, brother, No, Because.
Speaker 10 (25:22):
Let's say you do laundry. The towel is clean, you
put it on the floor, it's clean, and then you shower.
You're clean, so you step on the mat. That's the
use the towel that's clean. You put it back on
the floor. That's clean, and then you're good to go
for the next time.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Okay, so everything's clean, all right?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I sort of see where you're coming from, don't. So
let's go to the next time you've mentioned it. Where
does it live after it's done that double duty on
the floor or do you hang it?
Speaker 10 (25:54):
Depends how wet it is. Generally I would hang it
up again so to dry it for the next time,
But if I'm in a rush, I might just leave
it there.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
So the towel that you're drying your body with the
next time has been on the floor with your feet
on it and stuff.
Speaker 10 (26:13):
Sometimes yeah, but most of the time I've hung it
up after I've stepped on it and I'm completely dry,
and then I'll hang it up and then get ready.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
So you said that used to do this when you
were single. What was the reaction when your now wife
realized that your towel slash bath matt was the same thing?
Speaker 10 (26:33):
Basically your guys's reaction shocking horror?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Were you surprised? Married me so good on her? Was
she surprised? Were you surprised by her vehement reaction?
Speaker 10 (26:45):
Not really, because when my parents. We had a towel
for everything, and then when I moved in by myself,
I had to choose what I wanted to do, and
I didn't want to do much laundry. I've found it
more efficient.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
There's a bit of childhood tow try there.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Probably we're going to send you a two hundred dollars
voucher for door dash quickly, Kevin, do you do this?
Speaker 9 (27:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (27:10):
Man, I do.
Speaker 10 (27:13):
Unfortunately, I well, no, Luckily for me, I live by myself.
Speaker 6 (27:16):
So when I come out the shower, I've just.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Got a pretty nice bubble bath mat I use that
I shake off and.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
Then the heat lambs take care of the rest.
Speaker 10 (27:26):
So I have four beautiful heat lamps.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
Pretty much drive me naturally, and I'm bold, so I
don't have to worry about my hair either. And after
about two to three minutes, but.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
Pretty much just throw on the clothes.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
And just to go.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Kevin, this is astonishing to me. Why why wouldn't you
just buy a towel?
Speaker 6 (27:47):
Nah, no time to do washing.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
It's less laundry.
Speaker 7 (27:51):
To judge me.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
So it's the cave is a bit of water left
throwing around, But oh, two hundred dollar voucher for door dash.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Maybe you could show the door dash of your heatlas.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
The Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more
great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.
Speaker 7 (28:09):
Do you
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com