How to Shift Your Mindset and Believe More is Possible with Cory Allen

In this episode, Cory Allen discusses how to shift your mindset and believe more is possible in your life. Cory brings a unique blend of wisdom and practicality to the realm of personal growth and self-awareness. He shares his insights on mindfulness and meditation, offering a fresh perspective on navigating the inner landscape. Through his work, he empowers listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery and inner transformation, making complex spiritual concepts accessible and applicable to everyday life.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Overcome negative thinking patterns to take control of your mindset
• Develop self-awareness that can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and others
• Master effective communication strategies to enhance your ability to express yourself authentically and connect with those around you
• Recognize and address assumptions that can significantly improve mental well-being
• Embrace incremental steps toward self-improvement leading to lasting positive changes and a greater sense of fulfillment in life

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thoughts are basically just like fragments of mental formations that
are trying to give us material so that we don't
run out of script. And like the sitcom of our life,
it doesn't mean that the writing is good. It just
wants us to have lines.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the one you feed throughout time. Great thinkers
have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes
like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think,
ring true. And yet for many of us, our thoughts
don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy,

(00:40):
or fear. We see what we don't have instead of
what we do. We think things that hold us back
and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking.
Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent and creative effort
to make a life worth living. This podcast is about
how other people keep themselves moving in the right place direction,

(01:00):
how they feed their good wealth. Thanks for joining us.
Back on the show today is Corey Allen, an author,

(01:21):
podcast host, musician, composer, and audio mastering engineer. On his
podcast The Astral Hustle, he speaks with experts and mindfulness
neuroscience and philosophy, and today Corey and Eric discuss his
new book, Brave New You, A Roadmap to Believing that
More Is Possible.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Hey, Corey, welcome to the show, or welcome back to
the show. I suppose I should be saying, Eric.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Thank you so much for having me. Man, it's really
awesome to be back, and I'm grateful to be back
here with you in this moment of time again. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
I don't know how many times you've been on at
this point, maybe three, I'm not sure. But our listeners,
given your voice, will be happy to hear you again.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
I hope, so, I hope so. Yeah, it'll be exactly
what they need right before bedtime exactly.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
I occasionally get that, like I listened to your podcast
to go to sleep, and I'm like, well, I think
I'm going to take that as a company. Yeah, but
I suppose I could read that differently if I wanted to.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like thank you, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
You have a new book called Brave New You, A
Roadmap to Believing that Moore Is Possible. And I have
a first question I have to ask you before we
even get to the wolf parable, which is there is
a song by an Austin songwriter and performer by the
name of Jimmy Dale Gilmore called Braver Newer World. And

(02:45):
I was curious whether you know that song, given that
you are in Austin and it's close to the title
of your book.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I know Jimmy Dale Gilmore and also anyone that's unfamiliar
with who he is on a musical front. He was
smoky in The Big Lebowski. The dude steps over the
line with the long gray hair. Oh I didn't know that.
Oh really, Okay, have you seen Yeah, it's been a
long time. Yeah, yeah, So Jimmie Gilmore was smoky and
he really loves sort of you bring that up to him.

(03:13):
I think I've seen it happen in person when people
w accost him in person and go man, you smokey,
Oh my god, and he's like, yeah, I'm also have
a legacy musical career as well that you can reference
right right, But no, I didn't base it off of that,
but I would be proud to be side by side
him in the lexicon.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
That record of his Braver and Newer World is. I
think it's head and shoulders above anything else he's done.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's so good.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
But he also has a song that I love called
my Mind's Got a Mind of its Own, which is
such a great title for any of us who wrestle
with say motivational complexity, meaning we're not sure what we want.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, I think that's that's gonna be the name of
my next book.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah, it's a great it's a great song too. Now
we'll start like we always do, with the parable. There's
a grandparent talking with a grandchild and they say, in life,
there are two wolves inside of us that are always
at battle. One it's a good wolf, which represents things
like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is
a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred

(04:18):
and fear. And the grandchild stops. They think about it
for a second. They look up at their grandparent and
they say, well, which one wins? And the grandparent says,
the one you feed. So I'd like to start off
by asking you what that parable means to you in
your life and in the work.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
That you do. Yeah, I think that you know. The
more that I continue to watch my mind pay attention
to what's arising internally in any moment, I noticed that,
like all of the negatives off. The dark Wolf, as
you would say in the parable, really seems to be

(04:55):
just collections of memories of negative moments of the past
trying to influence how I'm feeling in the present. And
it's not really who I am. It's what I've been
through and some of the things that have impacted me
over the years that are still stuck that I'm still
attached to. And if I am present with what I'm thinking,

(05:18):
the good Wolf is who I actually am today. And
I think that making that distinction, whenever the mind in
the present tries to convince you give you some negative thought,
a negative image of yourself, or a situation, I remember that, oh,
this isn't me. This is what I've experienced. It's areas

(05:40):
where I'm still in pain. It's areas where I'm still clinging.
It's areas where I'm still scared or have anger or something,
and it's trying to come in here to the present
and influence me now. But if I listen to this
positive voice, I can see with clarity that who I
truly am, my real expression, is this person that I've
grown into, And by keeping that framework in mind, it

(06:04):
allows me whenever those negative voices do arise in the
mind to notice them for what they are, and then
use that present moment of space to mindfully and intentionally
choose to listen to the positive voice or feed the
good wolf.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah, I love that listener As you're listening, what resonated
with you in that? I think a lot of us
have some ideas of things that we can do to
feed our good wolf, And here's a good tip to
make it more likely that you do it. It can
be really helpful to reflect right before you do that
thing on why you want to do it. Our brains
are always making a calculation of what neuroscientists would call

(06:47):
reward value, basically, is this thing worth doing? And so
when you're getting ready to do this thing that you
want to do to feed your good wolf, reflecting on
why actually helps to make the reward value on that
high and makes it more likely that you're going to
do that. For example, if what you're trying to do
is exercise, right before you're getting ready to exercise, it

(07:08):
can be useful to remind yourself of why, For example,
I want to exercise because it makes my mental and
emotional health better today. If you'd like a step by
step guide for how you can easily build new habits
that feed your good Wolf. Go to Goodwolf dot me,
slash change and join the free masterclass.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah. I love that idea.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
I'm curious you say, that's this collection of memories of
what you've been through. To what extent do you think
any of that is conscious? Or to what extent are
you conscious of it? Or to what extent is it
sort of a habitual response pattern?

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Are you conscious of what the actual material itself or
the reactions it causes?

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, the material itself, Yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Think it depends. I think it depends on the person.
It's like, how much work have you done to be
aware of the mental formations that are flowing through your mind?
You know? And to make that a little bit more
less esoteric, I suppose for someone who is into meditation.
You know, if you study your inner life, you will
notice or if you stop at any point, you'll notice that,

(08:15):
you know, you have your conscious awareness. And if you
pay attention a little bit and just notice rather than
try and you know, just react to whatever's flowing through
your mind, you'll see, oh, there's a thought, I'm thinking
this now, and you just label and note whatever is
rising and you can start to notice like, oh, there's

(08:37):
a positive thought, there's a negative thought, there's this, there's that.
But a lot of people don't do that. In fact,
most people don't do that. Most people have that operating
kind of in the back of their mind and they're
on an autopilot. They're living in front of that process,
reacting to the thoughts and impulses that are coming up
to them in the moment. So that's why their life,

(08:59):
they feel like they don't have a lot of control
in their life, or what generally ends up happening is
they do something called post event processing, where they'll be
in a situation they'll react in a negative way that
they didn't seem to have any control over in the
moment because they were almost in a fairal sort of
automatic state. And then later they'll look back and say, God,

(09:20):
I wish I hadn't said that to Eric. I didn't
want to say that, Like it just came out of me.
It just happened, right. So that's why most people feel
like they're kind of living in this pinball machine type
of life and they don't really have a firm control
and ability to be intentional. So if someone doesn't look inward,
then that ecosystem of negative imprintations from their experience does

(09:44):
seem rather mystifying, and therefore, to your question, it's more
like they don't really know where that stuff's coming from.
It just seems to be happening to them, and maybe
they'll recognize the outcomes of that or the emotions that
go along that, but they won't be particularly concious of
the material itself. However, if someone spends time meditating or

(10:04):
simply paying attention to their thoughts, noting their thoughts and
their self awareness increases to where they become not only
aware of what they're experiencing and the world, but also
what's happening inside of them that is creating this kind
of consciousness conversation of feedback with their reality of what
they're thinking and how that translates to their actions, how

(10:27):
people are responding to them, and so forth. Once you
become aware of that, then those things that you were
talking about, I think one does become more conscious of them,
and it can become a really fascinating self healing, self teaching,
self discovery tool because in the moment, rather than simply
for example, like having an emotional response, rather than simply

(10:50):
reacting to it. You can get curious about it, you
can notice it, and then you can look beyond just
the energy of the emotions, like the in tensity in
the body, and you can think and explore, like, well,
why am I feeling that way? Like, for example, if
you're in a conversation with a partner and you notice
it every time that talking about your finances comes up,

(11:14):
you start feeling anxious and weird and like defensive and
shut down. A lot of people would feel that and
then just shut it down, move on, disengage in the conversation,
or come up with a way to distract it or
move the conversation of something else. But if you are
developing a bit of skill that looking inward and being
aware of your thoughts and being able to look down

(11:34):
into yourself in that moment, you might notice that defensive feeling.
You notice the body tightening, the breath shortening, you notice
your adrenaline releasing, you feel yourself filling with tension. Then
you go, hmm, okay, I'm having this feeling and I'm
noticing this arising. Now let's start labeling and noting kind
of what I'm feeling. Okay, there's tension there. I feel tight,

(11:58):
I feel shut down. That voice doesn't feel is clear,
don't feel like I can really find my words. Now,
let's look a little bit deeper, you know, and then
you might find hmm, well, I'm actually feeling this way
because I feel like I'm the one contributing all of
the finances to the situation in our household, and this
other person isn't contributing as much, and so it's making

(12:20):
me frustrated. But I don't want to express that frustration
because they don't want to make that person feel like
they're not valuable. Or you know, there's a million scenarios,
or you could say, oh, my parents, you know, had
this crazy relationship with money, and so you can, you know,
kind of look inward and explore and become more deeply
aware of some of those negative impresentations from the past.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
So let's stay with that example for a second. Let's
say you find yourself in that situation and you're thinking
to yourself, I feel like my partner doesn't contribute enough
to the finances, and I'm feeling frustrated, and thus I'm
having this emotional reaction. What happens next. Let's say I
figure that out, Then what's the next step in the process.

(13:05):
I'm asking you about something kind of nebulous and asking
you to make it concrete. But I think a lot
of people are going to relate with what you just
said some version of it, which is like, I look inside,
I see what the thought is. The thought appears to
have some degree of reality, right A, it's real because
I'm having it, but it may not be true meaning
is your partner. But you might look at that and

(13:26):
be like, well, very clearly, we have a seven thousand
dollars monthly budget and I put six thousand of it
in right, So then you'd be like, Okay, well, indeed
this is a true thing, and it's a negative thought
in a way, or it's at least a thought that
is spurring negative emotions. Then what's the next.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Steph Yeah, So in that situation, it would be communication.
It's recognizing that you're feeling that certain way, that you're
having that thought or that projection about reality. You know,
even saying reality makes it sound complicated, just about you know,
that moment and the conversation, and then bringing it up
with a peaceful, you know, mindful, thoughtful and spacious form

(14:06):
of conversation where I would script this like this, I
would say, I want to talk to you about something
that I'm feeling. I value you so much in every
way possible in our relationship, but something that is starting
to bother me. I noticed. The frustration is I feel
like I'm contributing more. And you could say, I'm okay

(14:26):
with that, but it is making me feel a little
bit frustrated. So maybe can we find a way to
find some balance and this or talk talk about that
a bit more, ask them how they feel about that,
you know, just sort of opening that communication without any accusation,
making sure to reinforce that you care about them so
that they feel safe in that moment. And I think,

(14:49):
you know, that's a healthy way to proceed. And what's
amazing is that in that situation, there's a couple of
things that come up. One is that you might be
able to find a really beautiful moment of closening because
a lot of people fear that if you have a
conversation like that or you say that, and like I said,
you know, in the way that I frame that, there
is no accusation. You can say everything's fine, we can

(15:11):
keep things the way they are I just want to
share this emotion that's arising. People fear that that's going
to turn into something explosive or whatever, and so they
don't have those conversations. But having those conversations which are vulnerable.
That's ultimately what we're talking about here, is a person
that has a deep feeling that they're scared to share,
but they go, you know, if I'm going to be
in a relationship with this person, I'm going to lovingly

(15:34):
and mindfully and clearly express how I'm feeling. Because real
vulnerability is not what you see on social media. It's
not someone fake crying into the real and talking about something.
It's about saying something you are actually scared to say.
I mean, that's you know, that's the reality of it. Yeah,
something that you don't want to say, much less share online.
So you don't want to say this thing, but going,

(15:55):
you know what, let's even pressure test the situation, letting
me say it, see if it received and if I'm held,
and if you do, then it can bring you closer together,
you know, and it can be a beautiful thing. I
think that since we're on your podcast and like the
world in which I think that your listeners generally in habit.
One thing that I have been asked a lot in
this very area is people, you know, we focus on

(16:19):
and we're taught to let go of tension, to let
go of anger, to release those emotions that are unskillful,
that you know, breed any of the thing that could
be harmful to others. So what happens a lot in
relationships or in partnerships is that a person will have
another partner who isn't doing the same type of work

(16:40):
that they are. They may not be interested in, you know,
their inner lives or some type of self development, which
is fine of course for them, but they'll be doing
the thing this other person who is working in this
mindful work a lot feels like they're the one who
is always releasing the tension. They're the one who's always like, okay,
well that's an to me, but I'm just gonna recognize it.

(17:02):
I'm gonna allow it, I'm gonna let it go. It's fine.
You know, we're both just doing our thing. And while
that's good to not hold on to the tension, what
happens over time, of course, is that turns into resentment,
and so a lot of people will go, hey, I've
been releasing tension left and right over here, but I'm
starting to feel a lot of resentments that I can't release,
and if I do release it, then I feel like

(17:23):
I'm not, you know, sticking up for myself. I feel
like a doormat. And it's amazing how many people I've
heard that from. Because I'm doing the right thing, Why
is this getting worse? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:32):
I mean, that's certainly a challenge I face in an
ongoing sort of way, which is recognizing that a lot
of times the reaction I'm having has a lot to
do with what's going on inside of me and wanting
to have time to process that before I respond externally,
which is generally good. And what often happens for me

(17:55):
is that the emotional energy dies, and so then there's
no energy to say the thing that I probably should
have said. Now, some of the time, that's the correct thing, right,
I am like, Oh, actually, I was just grumpy because
I hadn't had breakfast yet and I don't care, you know.
And then there are other times where it's like the

(18:16):
emotional energy dies. I'm like, oh, no big deal, But
then it happens again. I'm like, oh wait a second,
it kind of is starting to be a big deal,
and I think I've gotten a lot better at it.
But that is that danger, and I think it's a
danger of anybody who's sort of in the psychology or
you know, spiritual teaching world where we're sort of told
to watch out for these negative energies. A follow on

(18:39):
question of that would be, there's a theory that says
that emotions are information and that you know, thus we
should always listen to them, and I find that to
be true and then sometimes not true. How do you
tweeze that apart? Yeah, you know, how do you know
when you're having an emotional reaction that's because of something

(18:59):
real and that needs dealt with, or you're having an
emotional reaction that is very habituated and has nothing to
do with the current situation, or is obviously it's easy
to tell if you're starving and you're like, okay, I
can throw that one off. But it's far more nuanced
in the middle between those two extremes.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah. Yeah, In first, I think it would be useful
for us to just quickly give the solution for the
scenario that I was just painting there real quickly as
far as feeling like a doormat, you know, and being
the one that's always releasing. To finish that thread, it
would be to recognize the emotional energy that you're releasing,
what is that connected to, and then communicating about that

(19:41):
issue with your partner in a non emotional way. So
it's like I'm always mad because I'm always the one
that does the dishes and they never do it and
they leave a mess everywhere. But we're going to release
the energy. I'm just going to keep doing it and
then people get in that cycle forever. But the move
is to go, I'm going to let go of the
frustration from that. Then I'm going to have a wholesome
conversation of like, hey, we need to have a talk

(20:04):
about this real quick, as opposed to have that energy
and going, well, are I'm going to talk about this
real quick, gonna you know, I'm gonna bring your neck.
So that's the value of the letting go of the
emotional energy. But you have to do the second part,
which is the communicating about the issue that's arising.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Yeah, you've come a long way because your first book
I think was titled Babe, I Need You to Bring
Home the Bacon. Yeah, so you know, you've really grown.
I just I'm happy to see that in your work.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Thanks. Yeah, that was a huge that was a huge
bestseller in the in cell world. I loved it.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah on certain reddit Yeah really well dark reddit forums
are yeah blown up with it. No.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
So yeah, you're note about you know, habituated emotional reaction
versus kind of certifiable ones. To me, I would look
for context, you know, like you said, if you're feeling
this feeling that's not connected to anything, that you're just
irritated or generally stressed in a sort of global way,

(21:05):
then the world is going to seem more irritating and
you're gonna have that feeling towards everything. You know. It's
like your cute little puppy is, you know, making your
heart melt. But in this situation where you're overscheduled and
underslept and overstressed, you're like, shut up, leave me alone.
It's like you would never say that to your puppy otherwise.
But it has nothing to do with them. It's to

(21:25):
do with you, you know. But if it's a specific
thing that is arising, you know that has happened or
keeps happening, and you notice it and can actually identify
what that thing is or it's a similar context than
that's something to look into.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
You talk a lot in this book about challenging our thoughts,
and something you say is that, you know, one of
the tough things about challenging your thoughts is how convincing
they can be. So that's absolutely true. I almost the
more convinced I am of a thought, the more I've
sort of learned to doubt it smart, like just to
at least go like, if I feel this strongly about it,

(22:26):
I might need to investigate that perhaps there's something going
on here. But again, that feeling of certainty, they seem
so real. What are some effective strategies for starting to
challenge our thoughts or starting to be able to tell
what a the phrasing I like, is a helpful or

(22:47):
unhelpful thought.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, I think that what I would do is start
looking at thoughts as just information, something that's disconnected from us.
We have this habit of identifying our thoughts with who
we are and what we are, and instead of doing that,
just really distancing yourself from them a little bit and

(23:11):
seeing them as almost just like a visitor, you know,
in the world and in your mind. And thinking about like, oh,
they're coming from somewhere else. They're not me, right, They're
just something that's passing through for a moment. And I
think a fun experiment is to do that with as
you were pointing, to do that with all thoughts that

(23:32):
come through your mind, not just the ones that you
want to release or disengage. I like Antonio Dimasio's description
of them as a neuroscientists. He says, they're basically like
notes of what's just happened. It's like the mind is
just kind of like noting what's just happened often, or
it's throwing up suggestions of what you could do next.
Thoughts are basically just like fragments of mental formations that

(23:55):
are trying to give us material so that we don't
run out of script. And like the sit of our life,
it doesn't mean that the writing is good. It just
wants us to have lines, you know, to be able
to say if we want. Now, what makes a good
actor is how you choose which lines and how to
say them, how to deliver them, And that's kind of
the same story of life, you know. So I think

(24:18):
just really zooming out and taking a step back from
all of the thoughts you have allows you to see
them under the context of them just being this passing
information which really doesn't have anything to do with you
or your identity, and looking at them as more of
like colors on you know, whatever you're painting on a
palette that you could choose from the paint with as

(24:39):
opposed to these deeply significant identifying structures.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
Isn't there some degree of a thought being more or
less accurate? I mean, I get what you're saying that,
like we should just treat them as things that have
appeared versus being completely identified with them, right, I mean,
I think that's the first and biggest fruit of meditation,
which most people see as a problem, is the realization

(25:06):
that like, there's nothing you're gonna do that's gonna stop
these things from coming, and you have no idea what's
coming next, and like it just happens. It's just happening. Right,
So in that regard, I agree with you one hundred percent, Like, Okay,
let's treat them all as something that's appearing to us
versus something we've made appear or something that is.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Part of us.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
And yet there is some manner I think of which
certain thoughts are more accurate than.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Other thoughts, right, well, sure, yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
So let's say I get a little bit of distance,
so I'm able to say, okay, well these thoughts aren't me.
Then I still have some evaluative process to do, right,
to say, like, well, that thought's actually true or somewhat true,
or approximates the truth, or this thought is crazy. Unfortunately,
most of them are somewhere in between those two, between
a simple fact that microphone is black and that wall

(25:57):
over there is covered with flying locusts when indeed it's not.
But in between all that, right is really or it
gets tricky.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Yeah, I mean very far in between all that. But yeah,
I mean I think you know, Eric is like I've
been really struggling with is this a microphone or a
giant black snake? And I just don't I can't, you know,
deal with Yeah, Yes, I hear what you're saying, and
it's I think that That's why I described them as
being kind of tools. I think it's useful to look

(26:25):
at them as tools. And you know, we're getting really
granular about it, and we could go even further into
it if you want. I don't know if that's going
to put your listeners to sleep or not. But I
think if we take it to a really practical level,
you know, we could say that let's look at a
thought about yourself, an intrusive negative thought. You know, if

(26:46):
you have this thought in the morning when you wake
up and you look in the mirror and you're like, well,
I suck and I'm going to fail today. I'm unlovable.
Parents hate me, and I'm just projecting at this point. Yeah,
but then you know this, parents hate me, I'll ever succeed. Bald,
matter or ugly, you know, all the thoughts that we
all have every morning. You know, if you have those thoughts,
then that's a moment where you would pause and go,

(27:10):
you know, this is just trash. Yeah, this is garbage.
These are weird, Like I'm probably didn't sleep well, you know,
I had some dream or something, and these are just
some weird like insecurities or something that's arisen for me. Ultimately,
what that probably is leading to is like I'm feeling
fearful about a new situation I have to enter into

(27:33):
that day, something like I'm not familiar with. And so
the fear part of the mind that tries to protect
you and keep you from going into growth situations because
it wants to keep you safe. Is throwing up these
little roadblocks to try and scare you away from going
into new territory that will make you grow. That's probably
what's really happening. So if you recognize like those arising

(27:55):
thoughts like okay, this is just noise, these are intrusive thoughts,
they're not real, you know, obviously, that's where that's really helpful.
Or alternatively, if you have you know, good constructive thoughts
around self confidence, where if you're going into a situation
like we could say a professional situation, or you're going
to a date, and you're thinking, okay, I feel good,
look good, feel confident, I got value. Let's go do

(28:16):
this and also take it out of the self like
this is going to be fun. Let's go experiment and
you know, get curious and just have a new experience.
This is going to be great. Like then ride along
with that flow of thoughts, you know. I think that's
generally how one would use their discernment to distinguish. Now,
if you want to go into the depths of phenomenology

(28:37):
and kind of the ontological texture of reality and consciousness,
I'm really happy to I love thinking about that and
have thought about it for twenty years. It just depends
on if you want to get into that with your
listeners or not. If anyone's driving, I don't want them
to fall asleep and crash and guild themselves.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
All right, we'll pull ourselves out. Although I'm certainly interested
in all that, you know, I think that gets to
sort of what I said, like, my my best thought
tool is really just to kind of ask myself, like
is this thought useful? Like is it actually serving a
useful purpose right now? Because I might be having a
thought that in ways seems sort of negative, but it

(29:15):
might be useful, right Like i might be feeling bad
about something that I did and I'm trying to figure
out how to make it right. Doesn't feel good, but
it's a useful thought.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
But to your point, a general I suck and I'm
going to fail at everything is completely unuseful.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
You know.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
You also talk somewhere about I can't seem to find
the exact phrase, but you talk about these thoughts of
the future tend to show up as prophecies, meaning we
think we know what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
Right. Absolutely, Yeah, it's such a huge value in understanding
how that works out. So I just unpack it a
little bit. It's something in the book I talk about
in terms of self fulfilling prophecies. Whenever we get these
these intrusive thoughts and we allow them to effect, you know,
the way that we feel, the way that we're acting,
we can end up creating the negative outcome and the

(30:05):
situation that we were scared and that we were projecting
about in the first place. So an example would be
if we are about to go to a party or
something and we're like, you know, I'm nervous, I'm anxious.
People are gonna want to talk to me. I don't know.
I look weird, you know, I don't really know anyone.
I'm bald and unlovable, like my parenting. Again, then when
if you go to the party, you get there and

(30:27):
you think about how are you arriving, Like your energy,
your mindset, your posture, you're breathing, your confidence, your comfort levels,
you're adrenaline, all these different things inside your body. Your
shoulders are slumped down, you're a little awkward, you're not
in your flow. Most important, that you're not talking about
things that you like and you enjoy. You're not being yourself.
You're not leaning into the topics that make you feel alive,

(30:49):
that perk you up and give you that energy that
you want to bring to a social situation so that
not to impress anyone, but just so that you'll have fun.
You know what it means that you have a good time.
So what happens is you get there and you're like, Okay,
all these people hate me, even though they have met
me before. This is unbearable. I'm going to stand on
the corner. I'm going to slump my shoulders. And so
by following through and believing that thought program, you'll end

(31:12):
up actually manifesting that. And I don't mean in a
metaphysical way. I mean you'll bring that situation to life
because your thoughts influence how you feel, and how you
feel influences how you act, and so you'll be acting
awkward and weird and detached. You won't be making eye contact,
and other people will read that as you not being
interested in talking to them, or you're being closed off

(31:34):
for business socially, and so they won't end up talking
to you. And so by believing that thought program, you
end up creating that outcome. Now, alternatively, if you're about
to go out and you're like, well, this is gonna
be really fun. I can't wait to meet these people
and it's going to be interesting. I heard you know,
this person's taking me. They're cool, so they must know
cool people. I'm excited to see what this is all about.

(31:55):
And you go there and you arrive. I was joking
with a friend about this recently. This is one of
the key words that people say that you can tell
they've been meditating a long time. Like, if you listen
for this and eric, I know, you'll have like a
million of people in mind. Someone that says arising all
the time, you know, is someone who's like a hardcore meditator. Right, Okay,
So anyway, for people who are listening, that's because you're

(32:17):
constantly thinking about the world, but you're also paying attention
to what's emerging in your body in terms of thoughts
and feelings and impulses, and so that's often the word
is arising to describe that. Okay, So when you arise
at a party, or if you arrive at a party,
then you come with that energy of curiosity and fun
and then people see you that you've never met before

(32:37):
and they're like Oh, this person's awesome, Like they're you know,
sparkly eyed, and they have good energy and they will talk,
and so then you become attractive and people are magnetized
to you. So keeping in mind how that self fulfilling
prophecy thing works out, it translates to just every part
of life, not only just social situations, but you know,
professional situations, or even if you're just sort of like

(32:59):
feeling like like kind of a gray day, like an
off day. If you wake up and you're just like,
you know, I feel kind of tired, like this day sucks.
I feel lazy, and then you're like I have to
go to the grocery store. I don't have anything to eat.
Then instead of going like, okay, this is gonna suck,
I'm just gonna get it out with being taking a
pause and being like, I'm just like writing this miserable

(33:20):
story in my brain right now about what the future
is going to be. Like, I don't know what the
future is going to be, Like, why am I shaving
down my experience of my own life to this miserable
little nub? Let me shift my mindset and expand and
move into this experience with some openness and curiosity. And
what happens is that whenever you do that, you walk

(33:42):
into the store. Instead of going like, all right, where's
the broccoli, you walk in, you go, this is bizarre
that this plant was grown like, you know, five hundred
miles from here, and that some time along the course
of human history some person saw this green little tree
and was like that delicious, and they figured out how
to apply fire to it and make it. And it's

(34:04):
just they're stacked perfectly in a geometrical pattern, and ice
right here, and what is ice? Ice? We figured out that,
like somehow, there's like this liquid that when if you
push the particles close enough together, it turns into something
solid that can burn you and kill you or keep
you alive. Like you need to reduce your inflammation, get
in the ice bath. You need to, you know, but

(34:24):
yet you don't want too much ice or elsel freeze.
It's like this bizarre thing, you know. And then that
wonder then accelerates all of your positive, feel good chemicals
in your brain, and all of a sudden you go
from having this great crappy day to you know, having fun,
laughing and just kind of exploring the miraculous nature of
being and so it really that type of mindset shift

(34:45):
works anywhere as long as the only kids you have
to just remember to do it.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
I want to pause for a quick good Wolf reminder.
This one's about a habit change and a mistake I
see people making. And that's really that we don't think
about these new habits that we want to add in
the context of our entire life. Right, habits don't happen
in a vacuum. They have to fit in the life
that we have. So when we just keep adding I

(35:09):
should do this, I should do that, I should do this,
we get discouraged because we haven't really thought about what
we're not going to do in order to make that happen.
So it's really helpful for you to think about where
is this going to fit and what in my life
might I need to remove. If you want to step
by step guide for how you can easily build new
habits that feed your good Wolf, go to good Wolf

(35:30):
dot me, slash change and join the free masterclass.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
I love that idea of shaving our existence down to
a nub. Right by saying that we know how it's
going to be, we are, to some extent, you know,
causing it to be that way. I may not be
as optimistic as you to believe that by thinking that
the grocery store is going to be good means I'm
going to have a great time at the grocery store.
But I certainly know that I at least have a

(35:57):
chance to have a good time at the grocery store.
You know, I used to see this with coaching clients
all the time. Whatever it is they wanted to change,
we would get off to a great start.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
We're doing great. You know how you doing. Oh, I'm good,
I'm good.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
I guess, okay, And then they would be like, but
I've started good before, and then I end up quitting,
I end up giving up. I'm like, okay, I recognize
that it's good to know what your tendencies are. And
that voice doesn't know the future. The joke I always
make is if it does, let's go to the track.
Let's go to the horse racing track now, because that

(36:30):
would be a great thing. Yeah, And there's nothing you
can do about that today. You can't control whether two
weeks from now you stop doing something right. You just
focus on it today. But it's that self fulfilling prophecy,
because the more you believe that you can't do it,
then that actually drives motivation down.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Right.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
We know motivation goes up when you feel good and
confident and down when you feel negative. So you're driving
your motivation down, and you're making it more likely that
indeed you are going to stop doing it based on
this prophecy that I always screw this up.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
One hundred percent. And this is one of the things
that I really use throughout the course of the book
because ultimately what we're getting to and it's a reason
why I start with mapping out these mental tools. I
kind of call it some mental house cleaning. The beginning,
all these negative thinking habits of self consciousness and poster syndrome, overthinking,

(37:26):
making these assumptions about reality. Like we talked about, all
of these negative thinking habits are just what have happened, right,
It's just what we've experienced in life, and we just
happen to get into this routine. It's like, why do
you brush your teeth in the shower as opposed to
brushing it in front of the sink. Well, no reason,
It's just what you happen to get in the habit
of doing. And our negative thinking habits are the same way.

(37:50):
And what happens with those habits over time is they
limit what we experience. And whenever they limit what we
experience for long enough, we then get you to what
we're experiencing, and we mistake what is happening now as
what's normal. Therefore, what is all that's possible as opposed
to what is really available for us in life. And

(38:11):
so that's why I start describing these things ways that
we can break these negative thinking habits so we can
start to see a new landscape in our life and
really start believing that the things that we want to do,
the things we want to achieve, who we want to be,
are really within reach. And the self fulfilling prophecy is

(38:32):
one of the thinking habits we can use in a
positive way to start building that because to get there,
what we need is self confidence. For example, someone's listening
to this and they want to start a podcast, and
they go, I want to be as successful as Eric
as a podcaster. I want to be as awesome as
Eric and have all the same guests. Then they go, well,

(38:52):
generally someone is going to think, you know, but who
am I. I'm just some random person. I got one
thousand Instagram followers, I don't you know, contacts like I
probably I can't do this. Now, that's a limiting thought program.
That's you know, an habitual way of thinking where someone
is stopping before they even start. So what they need
is they need the confidence to be able to go like,

(39:14):
you know, let me try, Let me just start working
towards it and go on this journey, see what happens,
know that it's going to be you know, this growth
process and so forth. But to get there, what one
can do is they need to start kind of building
meaning and purpose and that feeling of fulfillment. And that's
how you can start building this level of confidence. So

(39:35):
if you're following through this, as you mentioned, the self
fulfilling profitsy thing, where you're recognizing how you're feeling in
the moment, what your outlook and your mindset is, and
you're taking time to realign that, to realign your perception,
to check in with like what your mindset is, what
your outlook is, how you're approaching life, how you're relating

(39:56):
to your thoughts. You start doing that more consistently, and
by doing that more consistently, by approaching your life with
a sense of curiosity and openness and wonder as opposed
to dread and limitedness. Then you start experiencing more and
then your self awareness starts to increase because you're paying
more attention to what you're feeling, what you're thinking. And

(40:18):
as your self awareness starts to increase, you start seeing
little things about yourself that you want to change. You go, oh,
you know what, I should actually like start dressing a
little bit sharper. That's going to make me feel better.
I should start eating better. I should start exercising. I
need to like reach out to my friends more so
I feel more connected to people. I need to start
spending more time and prioritizing the things in life that

(40:39):
actually make me feel good instead of just feeling guilty
for sneaking those things in whenever I feel like I
can get away with it. And when you start doing
those things, all of the neuroplastists in your brain starts
to change. Your whole outlook starts to change, and you
start to feel a little better about yourself. You start
to feel more able to trust your instinct because you

(41:00):
had that instinct and you trusted it in a very
small way, And by doing that and making a small change,
you can look back and go, you know what, there
is a receipt. I just trusted that I did that.
Now I feel better. I feel just a little bit
of one degree better. So maybe now that I have
that little tiny bit of self trust and just proof

(41:21):
that I was able to do that, let me do
that a little bit more. And so you do that
a little bit more, and a little bit more and
a little bit more, and all of a sudden, now
you're going through life feeling like, you know what, I
just kind of trust my instinct. I feel good about myself,
and you're able to go and do something like start
a podcast with some confidence and some self belief as
opposed to just living in this world where that's not

(41:44):
possible for you.

Speaker 3 (42:03):
You hit on something really important there, which is the
incremental nature of those things. There isn't usually you're going
to do like one little thing and you're going to
feel fifty times better. You're going to feel one percent
better maybe right, yeah, but that one percent, like you said,
if instead of expecting we should feel fifty percent better
and being like, well, that didn't work. Whatever Corey just

(42:24):
said to do didn't work because I still feel mostly
the same. And you look for the little bit that's
better that will allow you to keep going. And that's
what it takes, at least my experience is changing something
like our thought patterns is something that is absolutely doable
and is an incremental affair generally. Not that some people

(42:47):
don't have dramatic epiphanies and awakenings, but even those often
need a lot of integration time. It took me fifty
years to get this thinking habit engaged. Now hopefully a
lot of people are starting to do this earlier, but
still I'm not going to undo it that quickly. But
it is that incremental nature and looking for the small

(43:08):
victories which then make us more likely to do the
thing again.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
One hundred percent. You know, we were talking yesterday and
you mentioned how there was just a lot of ground
covered in the book. And that's why I covered a
lot of ground, because it's a plan. You know. It
starts at where a person is today and leads them
through all the things we're talking about to getting them
to Basically, I want to get them to how I
feel in life. Now. You know, I don't mean that

(43:33):
a goic way or anything. It's just like I feel good,
I feel confident, and I have self belief and I
can do things, but I also have all of the
negative thoughts. You know, don't let's not forget involved and lovable,
you know, like like lest we forget do we need
to talk about this afterwards? You really by experiencing this path,
you know, it's shown me a direct way of like

(43:54):
the incremental steps in blocks, you need to be able
to unpack and get out of that limiting way of
thinking into one where you can become your version of extraordinary.
And I love that you mentioned the intermittentness because one
of the chunks I put in there is set attainable goals.
You know, that's one of the keys. We don't like

(44:15):
the feeling of failure. So if we try and set
these giant goals for ourselves, like you mentioned this fifty
percent increase, whenever it doesn't happen for us, because inevitably
it's not possible, then we're going to go, well, that sucks,
I can't do it. But alternatively, we like feeling good
about ourselves surprise, surprise. So if you set an attainable goal,

(44:38):
then whenever you achieve it, you're like, I'm pretty awesome.
I just achieved that. And so you set another attainable goal,
and you go, hey, look I did it again. Hey
look I did it again. And now a year later,
you've like, I've done three hundred and sixty five small
things to contribute to me having a better life next year.
And again it all goes back to confidence, belief, self trust,

(45:00):
and clarity. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
I think it's one of the things that the sort
of modern wellness industry has. I think it's done a
lot of good things in the world. I mean, obviously
I'm part of it, you're part of it. But I
think one of the things that it has done that
is a disservice is the over promising of things like
I'm going to pick on a popular podcaster here, and
this is not entirely fair, but I'm just going to

(45:23):
use it because it came to mind, which is Andrew
Hubermann's a big fan of like getting out and having
a little bit of time in the morning, like getting
some light. I think this is great, it's an absolutely
good thing to do. It helps, But sometimes we oversell
something like that to the point that like if we
go out and we do it and we we are
expecting something more than Oh, that was kind of a

(45:44):
nice way to start my morning. Right, we're expecting that suddenly,
like we are going to be transformed by fifteen minutes
of sunlight, right, as.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
If humans had never had the thought of like being
outside before, you know, exactly.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
And some of this we bring on ourselves because we
want the silver bullet, right, we want the easy answer.
If we feel lousy, of course, we want to feel
better quickly, you know. I mean, hell, I pursued this
to the gates of insanity and death with heroin. I mean,
I'm very familiar with this thing. But that sort of
realistic expectation is really really important because it's what gives

(46:25):
us the fuel to go on, because to your point,
you don't do something that you don't think is going
to work, h absolutely, or that you think you're failing at.
And so I think that that idea is really important.
You start the book off very early by saying that
people who elevate their lives all have one thing in common.
They believe that more is possible for them. And I

(46:46):
was really struck by that because it's a very obvious
statement on one level, like of course, and it's easy
to get into like saying like, oh, well, that's just
positive thinking. But actually it's not. It's this very practical thing.
And I think that the believe that more is possible
is for me what the important piece is, because I

(47:06):
don't know what kind of temperament. I have a melancholic
enough temperament. As soon as somebody starts trotting out the
rainbows and stuff, I'm like, eh, you know, like, let
me tell you why that won't work.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
But possible I can get to.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
Possible, I can get to I can just go, well,
maybe it is possible, you know, maybe it is possible
that I can become a good writer. Yes, Yes, that's
the big challenge that I'm sort of right up against
right now. And I can look at my writing right
now and I can objectively be like, well it's okay,
but it's not great. Yeah, right, But the fact that

(47:39):
I believe it's possible that I'm going to get better,
not like you're so great, you know, like not that
just you can get better, yeah, makes such a big difference.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Yeah. And I mean, first off, it truly does. And
I mean, you know, we already know that you're going
to turn into a great writer because you just used
a double on tundra, he said, right, And I'm right
onto that writing. That's really true. I mean, and that's
what I think is so important to me about anything,
is practicality and just realness being like, let's not just
serve up a bunch of positive thinking bullshit. Let's look

(48:09):
at the fundamental aspects of human nature. Let's understand what
we're all experiencing and figure outw to just move forward
a little bit internally. And you know, I like to
choose zero it in on that statement because one of
the ways that I you know, let's say, downloaded the
architecture of this book, the whole structure was through my

(48:32):
Instagram following and my newsletter and whatnot. You know, I'm
reaching at least a million people a week with my
writing and over the last at least a year, a
little over a year. What I would do is I
started taking really clear notes on how people are commenting,
what posts that they're responding to, how people are engaging,
what dms you know, I'm getting you know, one hundred

(48:52):
dms a day or more or whatever from people, What
are they saying, how are they responding? And not just
like what are the words, but like, if you've ever
read that book, the twenty one ineffable laws of marketing.
I think that's what it's called. One of the really
valuable keys in there is put your mind in the
mind of the prospect. And I think that's what I
do with writing and with creating this stuff a lot.
It's like, let me visualize what is the experience in

(49:15):
a person's life that would have them read something online
and comment X to it? What are they going through that?
Why would they say that? And I started really thinking
about these things because I'm so curious in terms of like,
I know what I think people want, right, but that's
just my perception. I wanted to try and figure out, like,

(49:37):
what is the cultural texture actually asking for The biggest
thing I noticed, and really each of the chunks of
my book that I laid out are based on consistency.
Seeing these issues, these problems arise again, then again and
again and again. I thought, you know what here it is.
It's telling me what everyone needs. And so I put

(49:59):
it into a linear path and applied, you know, my
own experience to it to make it all zip together.
But the biggest thing that I noticed that everyone seems
to feel. And this was really fascinating to me because
I wouldn't have thought you can insert an ad right there. No,
But this is really a fascinating to me that I
wouldn't have thought. This is that everyone feels like they

(50:23):
are right before being able to get to something great.
They feel like they're right there. They can feel the
possibility that it's like right within their fingertips and that
they deserve it and that they could do it, and
they're like this, that could be me. But they can't
seem to figure out how to find the way through
the tunnel from this version of their life to the

(50:45):
other version of their life that they're imagining that is
whatever that means for them. That could be finding a partner,
starting a business, going on and on and on, become
a cult leader. I'm just sorry, Wisdom without Levity as
a tragedy? Did you just make that? That was from
my first book, So I'm self quoting like a true asshole.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
Yeah, like a true cult leader.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
So that's the feeling, and that's what fascinates me. That's
why the cornerstone of the book is teaching someone. How
can we get someone to find that level of self
clarity and believe and actually motivate to that place of
like you said, like you know what that's possible, and
it's not this thing of like, well, I'm going to
dunk on Lebron James. It's like you, no, that's not

(51:30):
what we're talking about yet.

Speaker 3 (51:32):
Right, right, This just takes me back to you know,
the work of Carol Dwek and the growth mindset, which
is just very simple, which is, if you believe you
can get better, you actually will, and if you don't
believe you can get better, you won't. And you know,
it doesn't say anything about how good you can get.
I mean, like to your point, like, there's no way
I'm going to dunk on Lebron James. That's not happening
in my lifetime. But I could become a hell of

(51:54):
a lot better basketball player if I wanted to. Right,
that's the element of that that's really helpful. This is
going to cover us back over some of what we've
talked about before. But I just want to hit it
again because I just love this phrase, and then we're
going to have run out of time. But clarity is
realizing your mind is full of assumptions.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
M I love that you picked that one out for
a plethora of reasons. One is because it's kind of
one of my favorite phrases I've ever come up with. Wellever.
I've posted that on Instagram. Some people really it blows
their mind and they see it and they love it,
and other people it just sounds like white noise, you know,
and so it's kind of fun and that's the perfect

(52:33):
reaction for a statement like that, right. But the other
reason I love that you said it is because I literally,
out of all the things in the book this morning,
when I was writing a newsletter, I picked that sentence
to focus on. Oh, it's how bizarre, is that? Right?
We're insane? Yes, we are. Also, I have your computer tapped?
Yours tapped? Oh yeah, yeah, I guess so while I

(52:56):
was thinking if you were taking notes then, but maybe
it turns out I love the idea that we've to
have each other's screens. So, yes, this is a really
valuable concept to think about. We make assumptions about everything
all the time. As we're going through our lives. We're

(53:17):
creating these stories about what's real, what's happening. And I
don't mean what's real in the terms of, as you said,
there's a thousand locusts or whatever on the wall over there,
but in terms of like what's situational realness, relational realness,
a sense of you know, like we're talking what's possible,
what's actually happening, and what our mind does this little

(53:41):
jerk and awesome guy called the hippocampus part of our brain.
It fills in the gaps in our story that we're
writing for ourselves in our minds, and that can be well.
First off, it's necessary because to be a person, to
be conscious, you have to feel like the story is continuous.

(54:02):
So we fill in these gaps all the time so
that we never run out of conscious experience, material and narrative.
But also happens is as we started talking about at
the beginning of the podcast, is that the memories of
negative self, the bad imprentations, the traumas, the moments we've
been denied, the moments we've been embarrassed. These things lurk

(54:25):
in our subconscious and they often try and come back
to steal away from the present moment because ultimately, what
they're doing is they're trying to protect us from feeling
that way again. So whatever we have those negative feelings,
those negative things arise. Generally, what's happening is it's going
that was horrible to feel that way. Let's continuously scan

(54:47):
the environment so that we can try and recognize situations
where we might feel that way again, and then send
up emotions that scares us away that it feels dangerous,
so that we don't get near that situation so we
won't have to feel that again. That's why, and it
happens from the same part of the brain that make
the lower brain, the fight or flight part of the brain,

(55:08):
the animal brain. That's why if you go up next
to a raging river, it feels scary. It's like, why
would a river feel scary? It's not scary, it's just
a river. But we get close to the edge of
the river bank, you feel like a magnetic thing pushing
against you. You feel fear of like whoa better not
get too close to that. It's the same part of
the brain on an animal level, on a physical level,

(55:30):
pushing us back because it's going don't go in there,
that's dangerous, get back, and so we're moving backwards. Emotionally
and psychologically. The same thing happens the situations where our
brain recognizes that we could be vulnerable, that we could
feel embarrassed or whatever. Again, it literally sends us the
same feeling and goes shut that down, and it's down
to do that. However, it needs, you know, to tell

(55:51):
whatever nasty thing it needs to tell you to keep
you away from putting yourself in the situation. Right, So,
as we moved through life, what generally happened is that
in those gaps in our story we will have these
negative things be inserted to try and keep us protected
from getting surprised by a negative situation. Again. So to
really break that down to an example, say that you

(56:14):
text a friend and then you don't hear from them
in six hours. You that's weird. Then you don't hear
from them for the rest of the night, and you're like, huh,
well that's unusual. And then another a day goes by,
and now where are we Right now, we start thinking
what does this person like? Did I do something to
this person? Are they mad at me? They don't think

(56:36):
I'm worth responding to? Are they like blowing me off?
Like what's the deal here? You know? And so that's
the moment wherever your brain, your mind is inserting imagination
into the story, right, And so that's this is back
to this clarity, is realizing your mind is full of
assumptions in that moment, and we're going to get over

(56:57):
to some like practical application now. So in those moments
in life, like this text message thing, whenever you recognize
that you're feeling a certain way like that in that moment,
you just stop and you label, like what actual information
am I dealing with? And where am I just filling
in the gaps? Right, So you're like, Okay, I texted

(57:19):
this person, they haven't responded. That's all the information I have,
all this other stuff about them being mad at me,
about me thinking the last time that we talked about
how this could be why they're mad at me. That's
all imagination, and so being able to recognize that and
release it and not turn it into this thing to
where now it's controlling your behavior. It's controlling how you're
moving through the world. And now you have a kind

(57:40):
of a fear, a negative sense of self. And that again,
how you are feeling influences what you think. How you
think influences how you act. So now you're going through
your day with that energy. Now we get into this
self fulfilling prophecy thing that we talked about. Now you're
this this whole cycle that starts spinning up right, and
so by recognizing that that's happening, you can break that cycle.

(58:02):
So whenever your friend then texts you two days later
and says, hey, man, I was traveling. Sorry I just
got your text. Now I'd love to have dinner and
ketchup tomorrow, then you can go great as opposed to
being like, ah, why did I spend two days of
beating myself up over this? So the more in life
that we can realize that when we're making those assumptions,

(58:23):
the more time will spend outside of that self beating up,
you know, reality toxifying type of situation.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
Yeah, I really like that. So listener and thinking about
that and all the other great wisdom.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
From today's episode.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
If you were going to isolate just one top insight
that you're taking away, what would it be. Remember, little
by little, a little becomes a lot. Change happens by
us repeatedly taking positive action. And I want to give
you a tip on that, and it's to start small.
It's really important when we're trying to implement new habits
to often start smaller than we think we need to

(58:59):
because what that does is it allows us to get victories.
And victories are really important because we become more motivated
when we're feeling good about ourselves, and we become less
motivated when we're feeling bad about ourselves. So by starting
small and making sure that you succeed, you build your
motivation for further change down the road. If you'd like

(59:19):
a step by step guide for how you can easily
build new habits that feed your good Wolf, go to
Goodwolf dot me, slash change and join the free masterclass.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
Beautiful Well, that.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
Is an excellent place for us to wrap up. Amazingly,
it's time to wrap up. It feels like we just
got started, but I think according to the clock, it's time.
Thank you so much for coming on, Corey. I'm really
excited to have gotten to talk with you again. Your
book is called Brave New You a roadmap to believing
that more is possible.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Thanks. Thank you so much, Eric Man, I really appreciate
you having me on as always. It was just really
fun and just great to talk to you. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
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