January 27, 2025 • 17 mins
Do you have a student who feels impossible to reach? You're not alone. As the summer holidays wind down, you might find yourself thinking about that student. They’re the one you’ve struggled with before, or the one whose reputation precedes them. It’s tough, and it’s okay to admit that. The good news is that you have the power to press the reset button and make this year better for them and for you.
In this episode, I’m sharing practical strategies to help you break the cycle of negativity and start fresh. Whether you’re reflecting on last year or preparing for what’s ahead, this episode focuses on shifting your mindset, building bridges, and creating a plan for success.
If you’re part of The Behaviour Club, be sure to check out this month’s training, Pressing Reset. It takes a deeper dive into this topic and provides a step-by-step plan to transform your approach.
IN THIS EPISODE, I DISCUSS:
- Reframing your mindset: How separating the child from their behaviours can shift your perspective and open the door to connection.
- The power of a reset chat: Why starting the year with an open and collaborative conversation can plant the seeds for change.
- Building trust through small actions: How investing in their emotional piggy bank and catching the positive can transform your relationship over time.
- Practical strategies you can implement today to prepare for a better year with that tough-to-teach student.
Behaviour change takes time, but every small step you take creates a ripple effect. Focus on what you can control, and you’ll be amazed at what’s possible!
Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!
Enrolments for The Classroom Management Lab are now OPEN... but not for long! Join the 2025 cohort before doors close on May 11th.
JOIN MY FREE LIVE TRAINING: TURN YOUR TEACHING INTO A CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT MACHINE
RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:
- Shop all resources
- Join The Behaviour Club
- My book! It’s Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management
- The Low-Level Behaviour Bootcamp
- Free guide: 'Chats that Create Change'
Connect with me:
- Follow on Instagram @the.unteachables
- Check out my website
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh, hi there.
Teachers, welcome to theUnteachables podcast.
I'm your host, claire English,and I am just a fellow teacher,
a toddler mama and a big oldbehavior nerd on a mission to
demystify and simplify thatlittle thing called classroom
management.
The way we've all been taughtto manage behavior and classroom
manage has left us playingcrowd control, which is not
(00:22):
something I subscribe to,because we're not dancers, we're
teachers.
So listen in as I walk youthrough the game, changing
strategies and I mean the thingsthat we can actually do and
action in our classrooms thatwill allow you to lean into your
beautiful values as acompassionate educator and feel
empowered to run your room witha little more calm and, dare I
(00:43):
say it, a lot less chaos.
I will see you in the episode.
Welcome back to theUnteachables podcast.
Wonderful teachers, I'm Claire,I'm your host, and this episode
today is for those of youspecifically who are sitting
there in the summer holidaystrying to have a good old time.
(01:04):
But from time to time in yourmind something pops up, because
on the pages of your class listfor 2025, you have the name of a
student, or maybe multiplestudents.
You might've taught them beforeyou know.
They might just be the name oneverybody's lips in the meetings
or at the staff room table.
Either way, you know thisstudent is a tough egg to crack
(01:28):
and this is a no shame space forfeeling this way If you're
feeling a bit of dread andlooking at a certain name on a
page because teaching isfrigging tough and it's made far
tougher when we have studentsin our class that are tougher to
teach and tougher to reach andyou feel like they're actively
working against what we'retrying to do in the classroom.
(01:50):
But let's talk about thereality for a second, which is
these students are going to bein your class.
You can't change that.
You can't will it away.
You will need to work with them.
So this episode is all abouthow you can either press that
reset button with students whoyou've previously struggled with
in the past to make it a farbetter year with them, or simply
(02:12):
just make it a better year ingeneral with students who have
struggled in the past with otherteachers in that subject and
you really just want them tohave a fresh start and you want
to be able to have a reallygreat year and you just want to
teach them, you want to reachthem, you want to make sure that
in your class, things aredifferent.
So that is what this episode isgoing to be about.
Before we do go into theepisode, though, if you're a
(02:33):
behavior clubber, you can justpress pause on this and go and
watch the full training on thistopic from this month.
What it does is it digs intothis topic in more depth, but it
also gives you the resourcesand the action plan that you
need.
If you're not a behaviorclubber, stay with me, because
you're going to still get abunch of value from this episode
.
You're still with me.
Great.
(02:54):
Here are three things that youcan do to help have a fresh
start with this student.
The first thing is getting yourmindset straight.
I remember being maybe around mythird year of teaching, and I
got my class list for the yearand I saw that I had this
student that I had taught before, and immediately my brain went
to a very bad, very dark place.
(03:16):
He's unteachable.
I can't connect with him.
Why should I have him in myclass?
Well, it's me.
I deserve a break.
Somebody else should have him.
He doesn't give a crap abouthis learning.
I don't want to teach him.
I don't want to do this year,so I just went to a really bad
place.
I even texted my teacher friendguess who I have in my year
nine class again this year likejust really, really negative.
(03:41):
And the fact that we're alreadythinking this about that student
is going to be impacting ourability to have a good year with
them.
We're already shuttingourselves off to the idea that
things can be different.
We're creating a narrativebecause the year hasn't happened
yet.
What we're doing is we'reprojecting into the year ahead
and we're creating a narrativearound what the year is going to
(04:02):
be like and we get caught inthis vicious cycle where things
just continue to escalate andescalate, and escalate.
And if we want to break thiscycle, it really needs to start
with how we think and how wefeel, and one strategy to do
this is to separate that childfrom their behaviors.
There are a bunch of strategiesthat I do go through,
especially in that training, butthe one strategy that I do
(04:25):
teach is to separate that childfrom their behaviors, because as
humans, we aren't our behaviorsand thank God for that, because
if I was still labeled as thebehaviors that I've exhibited in
my life, I wouldn't have gottenvery far.
You know, like being able tobreak through that and being
seen as more, or embodyingsomething more, and knowing that
you're more than your behaviorsis so important.
(04:46):
So, yes, that student that we'retalking about here, they might
exhibit rude behaviors, but whatwe need to remember is they, as
a human, are aren't rude, sowe're not defining them as rude.
We're saying, yes, theirbehaviors are rude, yes, their
behaviors are challenging, butthey're not rude inherently as a
human being.
They might displaydisrespectful behaviors, but
(05:07):
they are not innatelydisrespectful.
My gosh, there have been timesin my life where I have
displayed some disrespectfulbehaviors and I've displayed
some behaviors that are rude.
I've displayed some behaviorsthat are really, really
challenging, but I am not a rudeperson.
I am not a disrespectful person.
I've displayed some behaviorsthat are really, really
challenging, but I am not a rudeperson.
I am not a disrespectful person.
I was just a person at the timewho was going through some
really tough stuff and I wasacting out or I was
(05:29):
communicating or you know all ofthose things, but it didn't
make me disrespectful inherentlyas a human being.
Thank God for that.
It doesn't define them.
You know, instead of saying thatstudent doesn't care, you can
reframe that their behaviors aresuggesting that they don't care
at the moment, but what's goingon?
So it's about getting rid ofthe labels, getting rid of the
(05:50):
assumptions, and when we do thiswe start to really break the
barrier because we see behaviorsas a separate thing from the
child.
And this also works really wellwith the people in our lives.
It really does help.
And once we start to work onthat mindset and see them more
as their, more than theirbehaviors, then we can start to
(06:12):
do the other work that we needto do, because the mindset's the
first thing and then everythingflows on from that.
So, step one get your mindsetstraight.
Your student, that student infront of you, is not their
behaviors.
Their behaviors are separatefrom them.
They are a human being thatdoes have other traits and they
do exhibit other behaviors andall the rest of it.
So once we do that, once wework on our mindset, the second
thing is to have a reset chat.
(06:35):
Ideally, this chat will happenright at the start of the year,
before you've got into a lessonwith them.
So you sit down and you have anintentional, real and human
chat to plant the seed thatthings are going to be different
with them.
It's just to communicate tothem, like I'm really trying
here.
So it has to be in a neutralenvironment, somewhere that's
not in the classroom.
It's not like facing each other.
(06:56):
You know, teacher chair andstudent chair.
It's not that power dynamic.
It's a neutral environment,maybe going for a walk out in
the playground, on the on theover, wherever you are, before
the first lesson, if possible,as I said, all ego aside.
So it needs to be vulnerable,it needs to be real.
It's not you just putting anact on as a teacher to try to
get things to change.
You need to have your thinkingbrain switched on.
(07:18):
So it's really important to gointo this chat when you're
really regulated and ready andall judgment aside.
So all those things we justspoke about their behaviors, all
of that judgment aside, justlooking at this student, you're
a human being, I'm a human being.
Let's talk about the year ahead.
This is how the chat can bestructured.
You can do this chat inwhatever way you want, but it
(07:38):
needs to hit these kind of threecriteria for being a really
great reset chat.
The first thing isacknowledging the past.
You can open up the chat withlook, I know last year wasn't
easy for either of us.
It was pretty tough, wasn't it?
The second thing is expressingyour intention.
I'm here having a chat with youbecause I want to have a fresh
start.
I want to make this yeardifferent with you.
(08:00):
I want to make sure that whenwe go into that classroom, day
one, that you feel like you'recapable and ready to learn, and
I'm not going to be a barrier tothat, or there's no barriers to
that.
I want it to be the best yearit possibly can be.
And then the third thing ismaking a collaborative plan.
So what's one thing I can dodifferently this year to make
change, like to make thingsdifferent, to make it a better
(08:20):
year?
What's one thing you can dodifferently?
Let's really commit to this,let's hold each other
accountable for this, like Ireally want to make this work
with you.
So the reset chat acknowledgingthe past, expressing your
intentions and making a planforward.
And then, when that student getsto the lesson, that first
lesson, really intentionallygive them a nice non-verbal hey,
how are you going?
(08:41):
What was the plan?
You know, I'm so excited to seeyou here, really warmly
welcoming them in.
So that reset chat wasn't justa chat that happened outside of
the lesson.
You're really bringing thatinto the context of the
classroom.
And the third thing be really,really intentional at growing
that seed throughout the year byinvesting in their emotional
piggy bank, at growing that seedthroughout the year by
(09:01):
investing in their emotionalpiggy bank.
That student is not going tobehave any differently for you
if they think that you still seethem in a negative light or if
you still represent to them thesubject or the previous teachers
or other adults in their lifewho have seen them in a certain
way.
And this is where the emotionalpiggy bank comes in, because
that reset chat, all well andgood, but they're probably going
to be dubious, by the way, ifthat reset chat happens and they
(09:23):
don't give a crap if they'relike, oh, whatever, miss,
whatever, whatever, whatever orwhatever they call, you don't
worry, because just the acts ofthat, that purpose of the reset
chat, is planting a seed thatthings can be different.
It's to put a line in the sandand say, hey, this is my
intention for the year ahead.
If they're not coming on boardwith that, if you don't feel
like it's going to work becausethey don't have buy-in to the
(09:48):
conversation, that's okay aswell.
You might not get.
You can offer all of the.
You know the potential forrapport and all the rest of it,
but they don't have to acceptthat that they're in person as
well.
That's why it's reallyimportant for this third step to
happen, which is being reallyintentional at growing that seed
that you planted in the resetchat throughout the year by
(10:09):
investing in their emotionalpiggy bank.
You're watering that seed everysingle day.
So one strategy that I do use inorder to really intentionally
invest in the emotional piggybank every single day is called
catching the positive.
So it's a strategy that I useto break the cycle and just make
a really strong commitment toconnection.
It's just about going out ofyour way to catch the positive,
(10:32):
and it could be anything.
The point is to just show thatstudent that you are seeing them
for more than their behaviors.
You said that in the reset chat.
In the reset chat you're likeyou know what Last year was
tough.
I really am committed to makinga fresh start here.
I want to see you as more thanyour behaviors.
I want to make sure that whenyou walk into my classroom, I am
seeing the good that we canhave here and all the wonderful
(10:54):
things that you can achieve.
You need to commit to that andthat's why it's really important
to invest in that emotionalpiggy bank and catch the
positive.
It could be anything.
It might be hard to catch thepositive.
There might not be a lot ofthings to catch in the beginning
.
It's your job to find them inwhatever place, in whatever
space you can.
So it could be like, oh, like,even from the little bit of work
you did today, like I, I cansee how well you can do Like
(11:17):
that's wonderful.
That one sentence, my gosh.
Like I didn't realize we didn'tlike you really trying this
year, because I didn't see thatwork from you last year.
You know I saw how kind youwere today when this thing
happened.
Your handwriting, oh wow, likeJames, your handwriting is
lovely.
I haven't seen that before.
I didn't seen that before.
(11:42):
I didn't notice that before.
You know you were really tryingto ignore distractions today.
Well done.
Like we had a few slip ups, butI could really see the effort
that you're putting in.
Today it could be like oh, Iheard that really interesting
idea that you came up with.
It wasn't even really relatedto what we're talking about, but
it was super interesting and Iwant to hear more about that.
Or thank you for coming intoclass today.
Today it's so nice to see youhere.
The point is not to keep theexpectations for that student.
Low expectation setting andkeeping high expectations.
(12:04):
That's separate.
This catching the positive isall about making very
intentional, you know umconsistent investments in that
relationship, in that in theiremotional piggy bank, because if
you don't have anythingdeposited in that piggy bank,
there's nothing to withdraw.
And if we want to be able tohave buy-in with a classroom
(12:25):
management approach where we'resetting these expectations and
having these chats with studentsand reinforcing the
expectations, you can't do thatwith buy-in if you don't have
anything deposited into theiremotional piggy bank Because
they're to say, well, who areyou, you don't care like, why
should I listen to you?
That investment is such acrucial part of your classroom
management approach.
(12:46):
So just to recap, you've got astudent on your list to teach
next year.
They are tough.
You can do three things to helpthat student have a fresh start,
have a better year and giveyourself the best chance of
gaining buy-in, building rapportand teaching that hard to reach
and teach student and justteaching the rest of the class
and having a better year with it.
The first thing, getting ourmindset straight, separating the
(13:09):
human from the behavior.
Start with one positive thoughtwith them.
The second thing is plant thatseed that things are going to be
different through that resetchat, really focusing on you
know, acknowledging the past,expressing your intentions and
making a collaborative plan withthe student.
And the third thing is wateringthat seed that you've planted
through an ongoing commitment toinvesting in their emotional
(13:31):
piggy bank, catching thosepositives as much as possible.
And finally, please, pleaseremember behavior change does
not happen overnight, but everysmall action you take it adds up
to something huge.
So just start with one positivethought, one moment of
connection and one step tochanging the narrative with this
(13:53):
student.
You will be amazed just howmuch can change, just how much
can happen when we control whatwe can control, because we can't
control their behavior.
We can't control what theclassroom when it comes to the
student, we can only controlwhat we do, how we respond, how
we set up the space.
So we can control a hell of alot, but we can't control the
behaviors of the people in frontof us, as I did mention earlier
(14:16):
.
If you want to go deeper on thattopic, you can do so in this
month's behavior club training.
It's called pressing reset,giving that student and yourself
a better year ahead.
This session guides you throughreflecting on your past
challenges with that student.
You explore some practicaltools for rebuilding trust and
rapport, and I support you tocreate a really actionable plan
to press that reset button soyou can go back to school
(14:38):
feeling so much more calm, somuch more in control and just
ready for whatever this year isgoing to throw at you.
And remember, the BehaviourClub is there whenever you're
ready to take that step and getthe support and the community
and the resources and me as yourmentor whenever you want to get
all of that stuff.
It really is a level of supportthat got me to where I am today
(14:59):
and I wanted to replicate thatin the best way.
I knew how, and that is whatthe behavior club is, and it is
only getting better.
You can head to the dash onteachablescom forward, slash TBC
to join me.
I am so excited to work withyou in 2025, or you can just
keep hanging out with me here,which I freaking love and
appreciate so much.
(15:19):
Until next time, have afabulous week and remember the
one thing I'm going to be sayinga lot in 2025, which is,
classroom management should notfeel like crowd control, and if
it does, you need to dosomething different, and I am
here to make that differenthappen.
Bye for now, wonderful teachers.
Oh, hi there.
Teachers, welcome to theUnteachables podcast.
I'm your host, claire English,and I am just a fellow teacher,
a toddler mama and a big oldbehavior nerd on a mission to
demystify and simplify thatlittle thing called classroom
management.
The way we've all been taughtto manage behavior and classroom
manage has left us playingcrowd control, which is not
(00:22):
something I subscribe to,because we're not dancers, we're
teachers.
So listen in as I walk youthrough the game, changing
strategies and I mean the thingsthat we can actually do and
action in our classrooms thatwill allow you to lean into your
beautiful values as acompassionate educator and feel
empowered to run your room witha little more calm and, dare I
(00:43):
say it, a lot less chaos.
I will see you in the episode.
Welcome back to theUnteachables podcast.
Wonderful teachers, I'm Claire,I'm your host, and this episode
today is for those of youspecifically who are sitting
there in the summer holidaystrying to have a good old time.
(01:04):
But from time to time in yourmind something pops up, because
on the pages of your class listfor 2025, you have the name of a
student, or maybe multiplestudents.
You might've taught them beforeyou know.
They might just be the name oneverybody's lips in the meetings
or at the staff room table.
Either way, you know thisstudent is a tough egg to crack
(01:28):
and this is a no shame space forfeeling this way If you're
feeling a bit of dread andlooking at a certain name on a
page because teaching isfrigging tough and it's made far
tougher when we have studentsin our class that are tougher to
teach and tougher to reach andyou feel like they're actively
working against what we'retrying to do in the classroom.
(01:50):
But let's talk about thereality for a second, which is
these students are going to bein your class.
You can't change that.
You can't will it away.
You will need to work with them.
So this episode is all abouthow you can either press that
reset button with students whoyou've previously struggled with
in the past to make it a farbetter year with them, or simply
(02:12):
just make it a better year ingeneral with students who have
struggled in the past with otherteachers in that subject and
you really just want them tohave a fresh start and you want
to be able to have a reallygreat year and you just want to
teach them, you want to reachthem, you want to make sure that
in your class, things aredifferent.
So that is what this episode isgoing to be about.
Before we do go into theepisode, though, if you're a
(02:33):
behavior clubber, you can justpress pause on this and go and
watch the full training on thistopic from this month.
What it does is it digs intothis topic in more depth, but it
also gives you the resourcesand the action plan that you
need.
If you're not a behaviorclubber, stay with me, because
you're going to still get abunch of value from this episode
.
You're still with me.
Great.
(02:54):
Here are three things that youcan do to help have a fresh
start with this student.
The first thing is getting yourmindset straight.
I remember being maybe around mythird year of teaching, and I
got my class list for the yearand I saw that I had this
student that I had taught before, and immediately my brain went
to a very bad, very dark place.
(03:16):
He's unteachable.
I can't connect with him.
Why should I have him in myclass?
Well, it's me.
I deserve a break.
Somebody else should have him.
He doesn't give a crap abouthis learning.
I don't want to teach him.
I don't want to do this year,so I just went to a really bad
place.
I even texted my teacher friendguess who I have in my year
nine class again this year likejust really, really negative.
(03:41):
And the fact that we're alreadythinking this about that student
is going to be impacting ourability to have a good year with
them.
We're already shuttingourselves off to the idea that
things can be different.
We're creating a narrativebecause the year hasn't happened
yet.
What we're doing is we'reprojecting into the year ahead
and we're creating a narrativearound what the year is going to
(04:02):
be like and we get caught inthis vicious cycle where things
just continue to escalate andescalate, and escalate.
And if we want to break thiscycle, it really needs to start
with how we think and how wefeel, and one strategy to do
this is to separate that childfrom their behaviors.
There are a bunch of strategiesthat I do go through,
especially in that training, butthe one strategy that I do
(04:25):
teach is to separate that childfrom their behaviors, because as
humans, we aren't our behaviorsand thank God for that, because
if I was still labeled as thebehaviors that I've exhibited in
my life, I wouldn't have gottenvery far.
You know, like being able tobreak through that and being
seen as more, or embodyingsomething more, and knowing that
you're more than your behaviorsis so important.
(04:46):
So, yes, that student that we'retalking about here, they might
exhibit rude behaviors, but whatwe need to remember is they, as
a human, are aren't rude, sowe're not defining them as rude.
We're saying, yes, theirbehaviors are rude, yes, their
behaviors are challenging, butthey're not rude inherently as a
human being.
They might displaydisrespectful behaviors, but
(05:07):
they are not innatelydisrespectful.
My gosh, there have been timesin my life where I have
displayed some disrespectfulbehaviors and I've displayed
some behaviors that are rude.
I've displayed some behaviorsthat are really, really
challenging, but I am not a rudeperson.
I am not a disrespectful person.
I've displayed some behaviorsthat are really, really
challenging, but I am not a rudeperson.
I am not a disrespectful person.
I was just a person at the timewho was going through some
really tough stuff and I wasacting out or I was
(05:29):
communicating or you know all ofthose things, but it didn't
make me disrespectful inherentlyas a human being.
Thank God for that.
It doesn't define them.
You know, instead of saying thatstudent doesn't care, you can
reframe that their behaviors aresuggesting that they don't care
at the moment, but what's goingon?
So it's about getting rid ofthe labels, getting rid of the
(05:50):
assumptions, and when we do thiswe start to really break the
barrier because we see behaviorsas a separate thing from the
child.
And this also works really wellwith the people in our lives.
It really does help.
And once we start to work onthat mindset and see them more
as their, more than theirbehaviors, then we can start to
(06:12):
do the other work that we needto do, because the mindset's the
first thing and then everythingflows on from that.
So, step one get your mindsetstraight.
Your student, that student infront of you, is not their
behaviors.
Their behaviors are separatefrom them.
They are a human being thatdoes have other traits and they
do exhibit other behaviors andall the rest of it.
So once we do that, once wework on our mindset, the second
thing is to have a reset chat.
(06:35):
Ideally, this chat will happenright at the start of the year,
before you've got into a lessonwith them.
So you sit down and you have anintentional, real and human
chat to plant the seed thatthings are going to be different
with them.
It's just to communicate tothem, like I'm really trying
here.
So it has to be in a neutralenvironment, somewhere that's
not in the classroom.
It's not like facing each other.
(06:56):
You know, teacher chair andstudent chair.
It's not that power dynamic.
It's a neutral environment,maybe going for a walk out in
the playground, on the on theover, wherever you are, before
the first lesson, if possible,as I said, all ego aside.
So it needs to be vulnerable,it needs to be real.
It's not you just putting anact on as a teacher to try to
get things to change.
You need to have your thinkingbrain switched on.
(07:18):
So it's really important to gointo this chat when you're
really regulated and ready andall judgment aside.
So all those things we justspoke about their behaviors, all
of that judgment aside, justlooking at this student, you're
a human being, I'm a human being.
Let's talk about the year ahead.
This is how the chat can bestructured.
You can do this chat inwhatever way you want, but it
(07:38):
needs to hit these kind of threecriteria for being a really
great reset chat.
The first thing isacknowledging the past.
You can open up the chat withlook, I know last year wasn't
easy for either of us.
It was pretty tough, wasn't it?
The second thing is expressingyour intention.
I'm here having a chat with youbecause I want to have a fresh
start.
I want to make this yeardifferent with you.
(08:00):
I want to make sure that whenwe go into that classroom, day
one, that you feel like you'recapable and ready to learn, and
I'm not going to be a barrier tothat, or there's no barriers to
that.
I want it to be the best yearit possibly can be.
And then the third thing ismaking a collaborative plan.
So what's one thing I can dodifferently this year to make
change, like to make thingsdifferent, to make it a better
(08:20):
year?
What's one thing you can dodifferently?
Let's really commit to this,let's hold each other
accountable for this, like Ireally want to make this work
with you.
So the reset chat acknowledgingthe past, expressing your
intentions and making a planforward.
And then, when that student getsto the lesson, that first
lesson, really intentionallygive them a nice non-verbal hey,
how are you going?
(08:41):
What was the plan?
You know, I'm so excited to seeyou here, really warmly
welcoming them in.
So that reset chat wasn't justa chat that happened outside of
the lesson.
You're really bringing thatinto the context of the
classroom.
And the third thing be really,really intentional at growing
that seed throughout the year byinvesting in their emotional
piggy bank, at growing that seedthroughout the year by
(09:01):
investing in their emotionalpiggy bank.
That student is not going tobehave any differently for you
if they think that you still seethem in a negative light or if
you still represent to them thesubject or the previous teachers
or other adults in their lifewho have seen them in a certain
way.
And this is where the emotionalpiggy bank comes in, because
that reset chat, all well andgood, but they're probably going
to be dubious, by the way, ifthat reset chat happens and they
(09:23):
don't give a crap if they'relike, oh, whatever, miss,
whatever, whatever, whatever orwhatever they call, you don't
worry, because just the acts ofthat, that purpose of the reset
chat, is planting a seed thatthings can be different.
It's to put a line in the sandand say, hey, this is my
intention for the year ahead.
If they're not coming on boardwith that, if you don't feel
like it's going to work becausethey don't have buy-in to the
(09:48):
conversation, that's okay aswell.
You might not get.
You can offer all of the.
You know the potential forrapport and all the rest of it,
but they don't have to acceptthat that they're in person as
well.
That's why it's reallyimportant for this third step to
happen, which is being reallyintentional at growing that seed
that you planted in the resetchat throughout the year by
(10:09):
investing in their emotionalpiggy bank.
You're watering that seed everysingle day.
So one strategy that I do use inorder to really intentionally
invest in the emotional piggybank every single day is called
catching the positive.
So it's a strategy that I useto break the cycle and just make
a really strong commitment toconnection.
It's just about going out ofyour way to catch the positive,
(10:32):
and it could be anything.
The point is to just show thatstudent that you are seeing them
for more than their behaviors.
You said that in the reset chat.
In the reset chat you're likeyou know what Last year was
tough.
I really am committed to makinga fresh start here.
I want to see you as more thanyour behaviors.
I want to make sure that whenyou walk into my classroom, I am
seeing the good that we canhave here and all the wonderful
(10:54):
things that you can achieve.
You need to commit to that andthat's why it's really important
to invest in that emotionalpiggy bank and catch the
positive.
It could be anything.
It might be hard to catch thepositive.
There might not be a lot ofthings to catch in the beginning
.
It's your job to find them inwhatever place, in whatever
space you can.
So it could be like, oh, like,even from the little bit of work
you did today, like I, I cansee how well you can do Like
(11:17):
that's wonderful.
That one sentence, my gosh.
Like I didn't realize we didn'tlike you really trying this
year, because I didn't see thatwork from you last year.
You know I saw how kind youwere today when this thing
happened.
Your handwriting, oh wow, likeJames, your handwriting is
lovely.
I haven't seen that before.
I didn't seen that before.
(11:42):
I didn't notice that before.
You know you were really tryingto ignore distractions today.
Well done.
Like we had a few slip ups, butI could really see the effort
that you're putting in.
Today it could be like oh, Iheard that really interesting
idea that you came up with.
It wasn't even really relatedto what we're talking about, but
it was super interesting and Iwant to hear more about that.
Or thank you for coming intoclass today.
Today it's so nice to see youhere.
The point is not to keep theexpectations for that student.
Low expectation setting andkeeping high expectations.
(12:04):
That's separate.
This catching the positive isall about making very
intentional, you know umconsistent investments in that
relationship, in that in theiremotional piggy bank, because if
you don't have anythingdeposited in that piggy bank,
there's nothing to withdraw.
And if we want to be able tohave buy-in with a classroom
(12:25):
management approach where we'resetting these expectations and
having these chats with studentsand reinforcing the
expectations, you can't do thatwith buy-in if you don't have
anything deposited into theiremotional piggy bank Because
they're to say, well, who areyou, you don't care like, why
should I listen to you?
That investment is such acrucial part of your classroom
management approach.
(12:46):
So just to recap, you've got astudent on your list to teach
next year.
They are tough.
You can do three things to helpthat student have a fresh start,
have a better year and giveyourself the best chance of
gaining buy-in, building rapportand teaching that hard to reach
and teach student and justteaching the rest of the class
and having a better year with it.
The first thing, getting ourmindset straight, separating the
(13:09):
human from the behavior.
Start with one positive thoughtwith them.
The second thing is plant thatseed that things are going to be
different through that resetchat, really focusing on you
know, acknowledging the past,expressing your intentions and
making a collaborative plan withthe student.
And the third thing is wateringthat seed that you've planted
through an ongoing commitment toinvesting in their emotional
(13:31):
piggy bank, catching thosepositives as much as possible.
And finally, please, pleaseremember behavior change does
not happen overnight, but everysmall action you take it adds up
to something huge.
So just start with one positivethought, one moment of
connection and one step tochanging the narrative with this
(13:53):
student.
You will be amazed just howmuch can change, just how much
can happen when we control whatwe can control, because we can't
control their behavior.
We can't control what theclassroom when it comes to the
student, we can only controlwhat we do, how we respond, how
we set up the space.
So we can control a hell of alot, but we can't control the
behaviors of the people in frontof us, as I did mention earlier
(14:16):
.
If you want to go deeper on thattopic, you can do so in this
month's behavior club training.
It's called pressing reset,giving that student and yourself
a better year ahead.
This session guides you throughreflecting on your past
challenges with that student.
You explore some practicaltools for rebuilding trust and
rapport, and I support you tocreate a really actionable plan
to press that reset button soyou can go back to school
(14:38):
feeling so much more calm, somuch more in control and just
ready for whatever this year isgoing to throw at you.
And remember, the BehaviourClub is there whenever you're
ready to take that step and getthe support and the community
and the resources and me as yourmentor whenever you want to get
all of that stuff.
It really is a level of supportthat got me to where I am today
(14:59):
and I wanted to replicate thatin the best way.
I knew how, and that is whatthe behavior club is, and it is
only getting better.
You can head to the dash onteachablescom forward, slash TBC
to join me.
I am so excited to work withyou in 2025, or you can just
keep hanging out with me here,which I freaking love and
appreciate so much.
(15:19):
Until next time, have afabulous week and remember the
one thing I'm going to be sayinga lot in 2025, which is,
classroom management should notfeel like crowd control, and if
it does, you need to dosomething different, and I am
here to make that differenthappen.
Bye for now, wonderful teachers.
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