#112: Quick Win Challenge! How to get students to care about the consequence (and why their buy-in definitely matters)

There are strong opinions when it comes to consequences in schools. Some believe in strict enforcement—"do the crime, do the time"—while others advocate for restorative conversations and plans. Regardless of approach, one thing remains essential: we need student buy-in for consequences to be effective.

Without buy-in, consequences lose their impact. The students who struggle the most are often already expecting punishments like detention or suspension. They wear a mask that says, "I don’t care." But the truth is, punitive measures rarely lead to real behaviour change.

In this episode, I discuss how to create meaningful consequences that students actually care about. I break down three key considerations to ensure students understand the impact of their actions, feel supported in making better choices, and see consequences as fair and relevant.

Listen in as I discuss:

• Why student buy-in is crucial for real behaviour change. Without it, consequences are ineffective.
• Three key factors to consider when addressing behaviour. Reflection, relevance, and skill-building.
• How to create fair and meaningful consequences. Ensuring students understand and engage with the process.

Mentioned resources:

MASTERCLASS: REAL CONSEQUENCES, REAL CHANGE

BEHAVIOUR REFLECTION BUNDLE

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to your weekly Classroom Management
Quick Win Challenge.
True classroom management isnot how we address behavior when
it pops up.
Instead, it is a compoundingeffect of many, many micro
decisions we make in ourteaching practice before the
behavior even pops up.
In these Quick Win episodes I'mhanding over one actionable,
small but mighty tool to helpyou move the needle every single

(00:24):
week to stop crowd controllingand to start calmly classroom
managing like a pro.
Let's dive into this week'sgame-changing challenge.
Welcome back to another quickwin episode.
Teachers, it's so nice to haveyou here.
This episode here is all abouthow to get students to care
about the consequence thatyou're giving them and why their

(00:46):
buy-in definitely matters.
And there are kind of two campswhen it comes to talking about
consequences in school, like twokind of heated opinions.
It feels like you're either inthe camp kind of do the crime,
do the time, or kind of let'stalk it out, let's work out a
plan, let's restore, let's moveforward.
But regardless of the valuesthat people hold about

(01:07):
consequences, I feel like we canall agree on the fact that we
want to support behavior change,we want to raise responsibility
and have accountability for ourstudents and we want to break
the cycle of challengingbehavior.
But to get those things, weneed one main ingredient, which
is the buy-in.
If students don't have buy-in,any consequence that you throw

(01:29):
out there will bounce right offthem and be completely
ineffective.
And the reality is thatconsequences that are punitive,
they just don't get the buy-inthat we need, and those students
that are the hardest to reachand the hardest to teach are
just expecting to lose theirlunch.
They're expecting to getsuspended.
They're wearing a mask thatsays I don't give a crap.
So what do we do?
How do we get them to careabout a consequence?

(01:51):
How do we get that buy-in,especially from the students who
are so used to getting thosepunitive consequences?
Here are three things I want youto consider the next time
you're addressing challengingbehavior.
The first is to help themunpack their behavior with
questions that guide theirreflection.
And in the next episode, thefull episode, I'm going to do a

(02:12):
full episode on how to guide andnot lecture students with our
language.
But these are just a fewexamples of how you can help
them unpack their behavior withquestions that guide.
So asking questions like wasthat helpful or was that
unhelpful?
Did that make whatever wasgoing on better for you or worse
for you?
How do you think this may haveimpacted the lesson when I have

(02:33):
you calling out during thelesson, or you and other
students calling out during thelesson?
Why might that be challenging?
Do you understand why thethings you've said are serious?
Can you explain that to me inyour own words?
Who do you think these commentsand behaviors hurt, and how?
What was the impact on me orthe class or your learning?
So all of those questionsthey're not us saying to
students you've done the wrongthing, your behavior sucked or

(02:55):
you know you're going to pay forthis.
Of course you wouldn't say that, but what these questions do is
it puts the onus back onstudents to reflect on their
behavior.
So anytime you're engaging in adiscussion with students around
their behavior, really askyourself am I asking questions
that get students to think aboutwhat's going on for themselves,
or am I just telling them whatto think?
Just to note on that.

(03:16):
By the way, remember thatempathy is a learned skill, so
by us modeling that to them,we're helping them have that for
others.
Now the second thing I'd likeyou to consider when you're
addressing challenging behavioris really thinking about whether
or not the consequence supportsthat students to make different
choices, and it really startswith thinking about the behavior
itself.
So was the behavior that thestudent exhibited skill, not

(03:40):
will?
Was it developmentallyappropriate behavior?
Was it behavior that was justmeeting their needs?
Was it because of the stressresponse?
And when we can start to thinkabout things in that way, we can
then consider what kind ofconsequence is going to support
them to move forward.
Slapping on a consequence isnot going to help them without
thinking about how that studentcan move forward, how that

(04:00):
student can get some strategies,how that student can make a
plan for next time ifsomething's not working.
So, starting to think aboutthings in that way and really
reframing things A detentionisn't going to stop a student
from behaving in that way ifthat behavior was because of
skill, not will, if they didn'thave the skills to sit there and
do what you're asking them todo, even though they wanted to

(04:22):
do well in that moment.
The third thing I'd like you toconsider when addressing
challenging behavior to increasethe buy-in from your students
is does that student see theconsequence you're giving them
or the way you're approaching itin a way that's fair and
suitable?
A student's sense of justicecan be huge and they're not
going to buy into a consequenceof, for example, scraping gum

(04:43):
out from underneath the tableunless it was because they put
that gum underneath the table.
So try having a list ofsuitable, real consequences that
they can choose from and choosethe most appropriate one.
So you know fix it up or cleanit up, or you know make right
the harm that was caused or havea discussion with the person
that you've caused harm to ortake accountability for things.

(05:06):
Your action step for this quickwin episode is that the next
time you're working through abehavior with a student, just
ask yourself do they understandthe impact, to have buy-in, to
actually take accountability andmake change?
Was the behavior driven bysomething where they need to be
taught the skills or supportedin some way, or do we just need
to give them a bit of a breakbecause they're developmentally

(05:27):
appropriate behavior?
So last episode I was talkingabout my toddler and the
behaviors that my toddler wasexhibiting.
It's not because she's beingnaughty, it's because she's a
toddler and they're reallyappropriate like developmentally
appropriate behaviors andthinking about whether or not
the consequences are fair andsuitable.
Do they make sense and doesthat student see them as fair

(05:47):
and suitable as well, so that'sreally important for buy-in.
So I've used the wordconsequence a lot in this
episode, but I want to remindyou that when I'm talking about
consequence, I'm just talkingabout cause and effect.
I'm talking about somethinghappens and then something
happens after that, and I wantyou to also remember that
sometimes going through theprocess of a reflective
discussion is a consequence initself, not to mention a far

(06:11):
more effective use of time thanjust slapping on a detention.
If you want to get really greatat leading on these talks and
delivering consequences thatcreate change with your students
, then join me for mymasterclass Real Consequences,
real Change.
I am running it live thisweekend, my goodness, and I only
run this live once a year, andit's always such a sellout.

(06:31):
It's always got the mostamazing feedback from teachers.
So please come jump in andexplore that deeper If it's
something that you feel is likea really logical next step for
you to really want to get greatat having these discussions and
feel confident and feel like youcan really nail down these,
these skills, because, oh mygosh, it's such an important

(06:53):
skill to have as a teacher.
Okay, on that I will let you gobecause this is supposed to be
a really quick win episode.
So have a fantastic rest ofyour week and I will see you in
the next episode.
Bye for now.