Ever had a student yell "I'M BEING BULLIED!" when their friend won’t let them borrow a pencil? Meanwhile, real, insidious bullying is flying under the radar?
HEAD TO THE BLOG HERE FOR ACTIVITIES + MORE 😁
In this episode, I’m giving you a front seat to the three-part framework I use to help students identify what actually counts as bullying, how to respond safely, and how to foster real empathy in your classroom. These are simple but powerful tools that work beautifully during Bullying. No Way! Week—but honestly, they’re useful any day of the school year.
We’re talking real strategies, not posters and platitudes.
You’ll also hear the story of the time I got my hair done by the girl who used to bully me in high school (yes, really), and what it taught me about what we really need to be doing to address bullying.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to define bullying using the 3 P’s: Power imbalance, Purpose to harm, and Pattern over time
- The difference between conflict, meanness, and bullying (and why kids mix them up constantly)
- The "High Five" strategy to help students respond safely when bullying happens
- A powerful visual metaphor that makes the emotional impact of bullying stick
- Three discussion starters that build empathy and help students step into others' shoes
Resources Mentioned:
- Blog with all the activities: https://www.the-unteachables.com/blog/classroom-bullying-activities-no-way-week
Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!
👉 JOIN THE $1 KICKSTART! Click for more info and to jump in!
RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:
- Shop all resources
- Join The Behaviour Club
- My book! It’s Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management
- The Low-Level Behaviour Bootcamp
- Free guide: 'Chats that Create Change'
Connect with me:
- Follow on Instagram @the.unteachables
- Check out my website
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh, hi there, teachers.
Welcome to the Unteachablespodcast.
I'm your host, claire English,and I am just a fellow teacher,
a toddler mama and a big oldbehavior nerd on a mission to
demystify and simplify thatlittle thing called classroom
management.
The way we've all been taughtto manage behavior and classroom
manage has left us playingcrowd control, which is not
(00:22):
something I subscribe to,because we're not dancers, we're
teachers.
So listen in as I walk youthrough the game, changing
strategies and I mean the thingsthat we can actually do and
action in our classrooms thatwill allow you to lean into your
beautiful values as acompassionate educator and feel
empowered to run your room witha little more calm and, dare I
(00:43):
say it, a lot less chaos.
I will see you in the episode.
Welcome back, lovely teachers,to the Unpitchables podcast.
Thank you for joining me hereagain.
I know that somewhere in theworld right now there are some
of you on summer holidays, whichis fantastic, but in Australia
we are definitely still in thethick of the school year and
(01:04):
next month we actually havebullying no way week, which is
something that is very close tomy heart.
So I wanted to do an episodegiving you a few ideas on how to
talk to students about bullyingand how you can highlight
bullying.
No way week and if you're notin Australia, that is also fine.
You can use these ideas andresources just in general to
highlight, you know, ananti-bullying focus, because it
(01:26):
is so important.
The prevalence of bullying is sohigh.
It is incredibly damaging.
It is something that is reallyhard for us to address as
teachers.
I feel like it's like, really,it's one of those really
insidious things, like sometimeswe don't even know what's
happening.
I had a beautiful behavior clubactually come to me the other
day and say, claire, I just Ineed a bit of a pep talk before
(01:47):
going back into the classroombecause I had a meeting with a
parent.
I didn't realize this onestudent had been chronically
bullying so many in my class andI missed it.
Like how can I like she was sodevastated and just what a
beautiful empathetic human to beso affected by this, because
you have got so many thingsgoing on.
It is so insidious.
(02:08):
It often happens without usrealizing it and if you don't
catch something like this, it'snot because you aren't looking
close enough.
It truly is something that canbe so ingrained in the culture
in our schools.
But being able to have a coupleof things to address this in
our toolbox is wonderful.
(02:28):
I did say that it's very closeto my heart and I'm sure that I
am not.
I'm not the only one that cansay this, and I'm sure a lot of
you can relate to this, but Iwas severely bullied as a kid.
I remember I just remembergetting into the car after some
days in primary school and justsobbing and just never wanting
to go back.
I was, and then I got to highschool, like early high school,
and I just remember feeling likephysically scared and and
(02:51):
unsafe every single day.
There was one girl right, thatwas kind of the main instigator
of this that I was quite afraidof the way that she spoke to me,
the physicality, and I saw thisgirl years later, right, like.
So she like bullied the hellout of me in high school.
And then I saw her years laterbecause when I was about 21, I
(03:12):
went to get my hair done for awedding and I walked into the
hairdresser and I sat down and Igot my I was going to say bib,
would you call it shawl I got mything on and there she was
looking straight back at methrough the mirror.
She was the one doing my hairand my whole body was hot, like
the anxiety.
I felt like I was going tovomit and I didn't know what to
(03:34):
say.
I didn't know what to do.
I let her do my hair, we madesmall talk, I left and I spewed
in the bathroom.
It brought back everything forme that the last episode on the
podcast I spoke about theflipping your lid and the fight,
flight or freeze response, andthe whole time I was sitting in
that chair I felt like you know,so unsafe and I knew logically
(03:58):
that you know, nothing was goingto happen to me.
I was physically safe, but theway it impacted me throughout my
childhood, it had just carriedthrough.
But what was really curiousabout that encounter is that she
acted totally normal, like,totally fine.
What felt like was somethingthat scarred me for life, wasn't
(04:18):
even on her radar.
There was not one ounce ofrecognition.
There was not like.
It was just hey, claire, howare you going Like, oh like.
Have you spoken to anyone fromschool recently?
And it not like.
It was just hey, claire, howare you going Like, oh like.
Have you spoken to anyone fromschool recently?
And it's just.
It's just wild, right, but itmade me realize that when people
bully others or, like you know,when those kinds of things
happen, yes, I think that in themoment, they have an
(04:41):
understanding around how it'simpacting on the person to
varying degrees, right, I knowthat there's a lot of you know
things that you know can getpeople to bully other people,
but I don't think she realizedthe lasting impact of her
actions when she saw me, whenshe saw me that day, I don't
think she saw someone that shehad bullied.
Neither do a lot of ourstudents.
(05:03):
Again, we can talk all dayabout the reasons for bullying,
but I just want to talk youthrough three or a few
actionable things that you cando in your classroom to help
students become more aware ofthe words they're using and the
choices they make, maybe moreaware of the fact that they have
a responsibility in theircommunity to be an upstander
rather than a bystander, and howbeing a bystander to bullying
(05:26):
can be just as damaging.
So I just want to talk youthrough a couple of things that
I'm doing, for you know, I'vekind of had planned for Bullying
no Way Week and I wanted topass that on to you for you to
take away.
So, first up, I think that it isimportant for students to be
able to define what bullying is.
One of the most common issues Isee is students just calling
(05:47):
everything bullying.
Like everything is thisbullying?
They're bullying me, but it'sactually just conflict or it's
actually just a moment ofmeanness.
Or sometimes students aren'table to recognize it as bullying
, even though it is very severebullying.
So I start by trying to supportstudents to understand the
difference between things likebullying and conflict and mean,
you know, just meanness or meanmoments or just being nasty in
(06:10):
that moment, which could bebetween friends or you know
people who don't know each othervery well.
So I use real examples and Itake out, like you know,
scenarios and I say, okay, likelet's think like what's bullying
here?
What's conflict, what's justhaving a mean moment?
And then I kind of use thethree P's framework for them to
better understand whether or notit is bullying.
(06:30):
So the things that I like totalk about with students, that
kind of define bullying, arethings like is there a power
imbalance?
Is there a purpose to harm theother person?
Is there a repeated pattern ofthat bullying occurring?
So we want students to be ableto say, hey, like that was a
one-time thing and we're bothinvolved in that, so that's
probably conflict.
I'm not going to run to theteacher and say, hey, I've been
(06:52):
bullied, because that's conflictbetween us, as you know.
I'm not saying they shouldn'tcome to you, but I'm just saying
, you know, when students comeand they say I've been bullied,
but actually it's just themhaving conflict, you know you
want students to be able to say,hey, like this happened once
and that was rude, so it wasprobably just a mean moment,
like someone pushing past me atthe canteen or again, doesn't
(07:12):
mean it doesn't have to beaddressed.
But we're talking about how dowe define bullying?
And then I want students to beable to say, okay, this is
happening constantly, they'redoing it on purpose and I feel
powerless.
So this is something that isbullying behaviors.
And the reason this is soimportant is because students
need to be able to name it andidentify it, to be able to do
(07:32):
something about it, because alot of our students are being
bystanders to bullying or justnot being able to say anything
or not feeling empowered to beable to do anything about being
bullied.
There's also this high fivestrategy I've seen around and
that's really good because itgives them like something
concrete they can remember.
So it's just like a visual.
(07:53):
It's like ignore it, talkfriendly, talk firmly, walk away
and report it, and you can putthose on a hand, you can make
posters, you can let thempersonalize it.
They just need to know whattheir options are when it comes
to bullying.
And that reporting it is okay,it is okay to talk firmly with
somebody and advocate foryourself.
It's okay to walk away and it'sokay to seek support for that,
(08:15):
and it's also okay to do thatwhen you're not the one being
bullied but you're a bystanderof it.
You know, talk to somebody,walk away, report it, and just
having students feel moreempowered in that.
So I like those high fivestrategies for that reason.
So that is us understandingwhat bullying is and empowering
students with that knowledge.
So is it bullying?
Is it conflict?
Is it nastiness?
(08:36):
Is it?
You know, bullying becausethere's a power imbalance,
purpose to harm or a patternover time.
The second thing that I'd liketo do with students when it
comes to bullying is buildingempathy around it and, you know,
having students understand thelasting impact of it, just like
you know, the girl that bulliedme in high school clearly had no
idea about the lasting impactof the bullying that she, you
(08:58):
know, exhibited, had on me.
So I, you know there's thatmetaphor of the scrunched up
paper, which I also love.
You know, you scrunch up thepaper and then you get students
to unscrunch it and then try tosmooth it out and they have to
see, like visually, that thatpaper is.
You know, once you scrunch itup, like once you do something
to it, then it's always like themark is always there.
(09:19):
I have my own version of thiswhere students write nasty
things that they might've heardor said or you know, anything
like that, on a piece of paperwith a pencil.
I try to maybe keep boundariesaround that, on what they can
and can't say.
Just, you know, don't sayanything that is going to, you
know, be not safe for school,but just nasty things that
(09:39):
they've heard, that they'veexperienced, on a piece of paper
.
And yeah, obviously, dependingon your cohort, I teach older
students and then they try toerase them.
So they write it, so I don'ttell them to, I don't tell them.
That's going to be thechallenge when I set the
challenge.
But I just say, I just want youto get a piece of paper and a
pencil and just write the thingsthat people have said to you
that have been really hurtful,or that you think you've said to
(09:59):
someone that's been reallyhurtful it can be a brother or a
sister or a friend, whatever itmight be.
So cover that page.
You usenames or real situations, but then, when they're
finished, I give them thechallenge to then erase every
single word on the page untilthey can't see them anymore.
Then I get them to reflect onthat, because obviously you're
trying to erase them and there'salways going to be something
(10:20):
left behind.
There's always going to be somekind of mark.
It's going to be, there's goingto be resonant of that.
Then they reflect on it.
Like, what do you notice whenyou try to erase the words
completely?
How is that similar to whathappens when somebody says
hurtful things to somebody inreal life over time,
consistently, and then I getthem to write kind things over
the top.
What can you say instead?
(10:40):
How can you flip that and thenreally think about the power of
kindness?
So if you see someone beingbullied, someone is writing
those nasty things on theirpiece of paper, what can you do
to help them kind of, you know,wipe them out.
What can you do to build adifferent narrative for that
person?
So you know that's not whatthey're hearing, that's not what
(11:00):
they're seeing.
Only you've got other thingshappening and you know it just
really emphasizes the power ofkindness and community and just
being nice to each other.
So so that's one thing you cando in your anti-bullying
approach.
You can do that activity, youcan take it, that's fine.
So you can do the scrunched upone or you can do the pencil and
(11:21):
the rubbing out one and thenputting the kind words over the
top.
So I love that activity.
It's a really great visualmetaphor for the impact of
bullying and just in terms oflike other ways to embed it into
your week, like don't think youneed to overthink it very much.
You don't need a huge lesson.
I don't want you to necessarilytake out like chunks of time
from teaching the curriculum ifyou're not able to do that, if
(11:42):
you're already feeling underpressure.
But you can just put things inlike a starter activity or just
an opportunity for you todiscuss the concept of bullying
and what's going on and, youknow, just building some empathy
around that.
So I like to use throughoutanti-bullying week.
I like to use some starters I'veactually done it through the
whole month before Things likethe invisible backpack.
(12:04):
So these are a couple ofstarters that I use the
invisible backpack so I say tostudents everyone carries things
that we can't see, worries andstress and struggles.
What might be in the backpackof somebody who bullies other
people and what might be in thebackpack of someone who's being
bullied.
And I have two backpacks therethat they can fill in.
And I say fill in the backpackswith your answer.
(12:25):
And then I get them to discussit.
And this is really greatbecause not only does it help us
to discuss the impact ofbullying, but it also gets us to
think about, like, what mightmotivate someone to bully, like
what's going on for that personthat makes them want to put
other people down.
Another starter that I loveusing is if it were me so
imagine for a moment that youwere the one being left out,
laughed at or targeted.
How would you want others torespond?
(12:47):
Again, it's just an empathytask getting you know your
students to put themselves intoother people's shoes and then
saying, okay, if that's what Iwould need when someone's
bullying me, what might I beable to do for other people?
If I see something happening,if I'm a bystander to bullying,
what can I do to help?
You know, change the narrativefor that person, or to stand up
for them or to, you know, getthat bully to stop.
(13:10):
Like, what can I actually dosafely to be able to do that?
The third starter that Iabsolutely love doing is the
bystander.
So I ask students is seeingbullying happening and not doing
anything to help just as bad asdoing the bullying?
Why or why not?
It really gets studentsthinking and kind of debating
this point around being abystander and what the impact of
(13:31):
that is, and it just reallygets students to start thinking
outside of themselves and youknow, it's like understanding
why being an upstander is soimportant and what our role is
in our school community when itcomes to bullying.
So those are the three thingsthat I tend to do during
anti-bullying week.
I was about to say celebrateanti-bullying week, which
probably isn't the rightterminology, but those are just
(13:54):
a few of the things that I do.
I have a few.
You know I've got a big bundleof stuff that I um, I run with
students but like, just if youwant to do something really,
really basic.
If you just want it to be, youreally want to set aside time
for it.
If you don't have that muchtime, think about what bullying
(14:16):
is.
Define it for them, you know,get them to define bullying,
conflict and meanness.
Then get them to think about,you know, the impact of it, the
lasting impact.
So you can do one of those,those demonstrations whether
it's the screwing up the paperor writing on it and then
rubbing it out, and then maybe acouple of starters like those
things, those three things won'ttake a lesson.
It might be five minutes onelesson, 10 minutes another
lesson, then five minutes,another lesson.
It really isn't that long.
(14:37):
But the impact that we can makeby just highlighting
anti-bullying in a way that'snot performative, you know, I
think students kind of rolltheir eyes a little bit when
we're trying to talk aboutanti-bullying stuff, because
it's not, it doesn't have a lotof buy-in.
I think that a lot of studentslike, oh, whatever, they really
want to address bullying in away that's going to get students
(14:58):
connecting with it, which iswhy the starters are great,
because it's putting thestudents in the shoes of someone
being bullied.
You know, the visual metaphoritself is getting students doing
something, is getting studentsactively thinking about that
metaphor of the lasting impactof bullying, and then, finally,
you're giving them a little bitof education around what
bullying actually is.
So if you've only got a littlebit of time, I think that those
three things are a great way toyeah, just to spend a bit of
(15:22):
time during anti-bullying week,bullying no way week.
To yeah, to help spread thosethat awareness around the impact
of bullying.
My gosh, like I spoke a fewepisodes ago about the mental
health stats of our students andit is so alarming and so scary.
So anything that we can do totry to foster that community and
(15:42):
that kindness and that respectbetween our students is going to
go a very, very long way.
Okay, I'm going to leave itthere.
If you are in the BehaviourClub, by the way, I have got a
bunch of resources there for youfor bullying no way week that
you can use.
So just head into the resourcearea and you'll see it there, or
in this current month, you'llsee it there.
And for the rest of you, I'vegot a blog that you can head to
(16:06):
to see any of the all the ideasthat I've discussed in this
episode.
You can go to the blog and it'sthere for you, so you don't
have to remember it, you canjust pull it out.
I've got the three startersthere that you can just copy and
put on a PowerPoint orsomething and use those.
So make sure you head over tothe blog, which is a great place
to, yeah, describe everythingfrom this episode, and I'll pop
(16:26):
that link in the show notes foryou.
Okay, lovely teacher, whetheryou are in the middle of the
school year or on your summerholiday, I am just sending so
much love and I shall see younext week.
Actually, oh my gosh, next weekI am starting my challenge, my
five.
It's a five day challenge,right, but I am going to be
spreading it over the five weekson the podcast, just to give
(16:48):
you a bit of an idea around.
It is the five day kickstartchallenge.
So each of the days next monthI am going to be focusing on one
of the days of the challenge.
I've just said days a lot,haven't I?
So it's going to be absolutelyawesome.
It is good for anybody, nomatter where you are in the
school year, but I have designedit to launch at the start of
(17:10):
the school year, just becausewhen we're thinking about back
to school stuff, yes, you cantalk about like the classic and
I did.
I did a couple of weeks ago.
I spoke about the classic likeyou know how to set expectations
, and so if you need to learn abit of that kind of stuff, you
want to hear about how Iapproach my first week back then
definitely go and listen tothat episode.
But this challenge here that I'mgoing to be running is more
(17:30):
about like, what can we do everysingle day of the school year
to sprinkle classroom managementmagic in everything we do, in
our presence, in our routines,in everything?
So make sure, if you have notyet, make sure you are following
this show, make sure you havesubscribed and you can also join
(17:50):
the kickstart like live, so youcan come into the behavior club
for $1 and you can do thekickstart with me.
You'll have the resources,you'll have the videos and all
of that kind of stuff, so youcan head to the dash on
teachablescom forward slashkickstart and I'll leave it
there.
I'll also pop that link in theshow notes for you.
But I cannot wait to getstarted.
I'm so excited for next weekand, yeah, I shall see you there
(18:13):
, lovely teacher.
Bye for now.
Oh, hi there, teachers.
Welcome to the Unteachablespodcast.
I'm your host, claire English,and I am just a fellow teacher,
a toddler mama and a big oldbehavior nerd on a mission to
demystify and simplify thatlittle thing called classroom
management.
The way we've all been taughtto manage behavior and classroom
manage has left us playingcrowd control, which is not
(00:22):
something I subscribe to,because we're not dancers, we're
teachers.
So listen in as I walk youthrough the game, changing
strategies and I mean the thingsthat we can actually do and
action in our classrooms thatwill allow you to lean into your
beautiful values as acompassionate educator and feel
empowered to run your room witha little more calm and, dare I
(00:43):
say it, a lot less chaos.
I will see you in the episode.
Welcome back, lovely teachers,to the Unpitchables podcast.
Thank you for joining me hereagain.
I know that somewhere in theworld right now there are some
of you on summer holidays, whichis fantastic, but in Australia
we are definitely still in thethick of the school year and
(01:04):
next month we actually havebullying no way week, which is
something that is very close tomy heart.
So I wanted to do an episodegiving you a few ideas on how to
talk to students about bullyingand how you can highlight
bullying.
No way week and if you're notin Australia, that is also fine.
You can use these ideas andresources just in general to
highlight, you know, ananti-bullying focus, because it
(01:26):
is so important.
The prevalence of bullying is sohigh.
It is incredibly damaging.
It is something that is reallyhard for us to address as
teachers.
I feel like it's like, really,it's one of those really
insidious things, like sometimeswe don't even know what's
happening.
I had a beautiful behavior clubactually come to me the other
day and say, claire, I just Ineed a bit of a pep talk before
(01:47):
going back into the classroombecause I had a meeting with a
parent.
I didn't realize this onestudent had been chronically
bullying so many in my class andI missed it.
Like how can I like she was sodevastated and just what a
beautiful empathetic human to beso affected by this, because
you have got so many thingsgoing on.
It is so insidious.
(02:08):
It often happens without usrealizing it and if you don't
catch something like this, it'snot because you aren't looking
close enough.
It truly is something that canbe so ingrained in the culture
in our schools.
But being able to have a coupleof things to address this in
our toolbox is wonderful.
(02:28):
I did say that it's very closeto my heart and I'm sure that I
am not.
I'm not the only one that cansay this, and I'm sure a lot of
you can relate to this, but Iwas severely bullied as a kid.
I remember I just remembergetting into the car after some
days in primary school and justsobbing and just never wanting
to go back.
I was, and then I got to highschool, like early high school,
and I just remember feeling likephysically scared and and
(02:51):
unsafe every single day.
There was one girl right, thatwas kind of the main instigator
of this that I was quite afraidof the way that she spoke to me,
the physicality, and I saw thisgirl years later, right, like.
So she like bullied the hellout of me in high school.
And then I saw her years laterbecause when I was about 21, I
(03:12):
went to get my hair done for awedding and I walked into the
hairdresser and I sat down and Igot my I was going to say bib,
would you call it shawl I got mything on and there she was
looking straight back at methrough the mirror.
She was the one doing my hairand my whole body was hot, like
the anxiety.
I felt like I was going tovomit and I didn't know what to
(03:34):
say.
I didn't know what to do.
I let her do my hair, we madesmall talk, I left and I spewed
in the bathroom.
It brought back everything forme that the last episode on the
podcast I spoke about theflipping your lid and the fight,
flight or freeze response, andthe whole time I was sitting in
that chair I felt like you know,so unsafe and I knew logically
(03:58):
that you know, nothing was goingto happen to me.
I was physically safe, but theway it impacted me throughout my
childhood, it had just carriedthrough.
But what was really curiousabout that encounter is that she
acted totally normal, like,totally fine.
What felt like was somethingthat scarred me for life, wasn't
(04:18):
even on her radar.
There was not one ounce ofrecognition.
There was not like.
It was just hey, claire, howare you going Like, oh like.
Have you spoken to anyone fromschool recently?
And it not like.
It was just hey, claire, howare you going Like, oh like.
Have you spoken to anyone fromschool recently?
And it's just.
It's just wild, right, but itmade me realize that when people
bully others or, like you know,when those kinds of things
happen, yes, I think that in themoment, they have an
(04:41):
understanding around how it'simpacting on the person to
varying degrees, right, I knowthat there's a lot of you know
things that you know can getpeople to bully other people,
but I don't think she realizedthe lasting impact of her
actions when she saw me, whenshe saw me that day, I don't
think she saw someone that shehad bullied.
Neither do a lot of ourstudents.
(05:03):
Again, we can talk all dayabout the reasons for bullying,
but I just want to talk youthrough three or a few
actionable things that you cando in your classroom to help
students become more aware ofthe words they're using and the
choices they make, maybe moreaware of the fact that they have
a responsibility in theircommunity to be an upstander
rather than a bystander, and howbeing a bystander to bullying
(05:26):
can be just as damaging.
So I just want to talk youthrough a couple of things that
I'm doing, for you know, I'vekind of had planned for Bullying
no Way Week and I wanted topass that on to you for you to
take away.
So, first up, I think that it isimportant for students to be
able to define what bullying is.
One of the most common issues Isee is students just calling
(05:47):
everything bullying.
Like everything is thisbullying?
They're bullying me, but it'sactually just conflict or it's
actually just a moment ofmeanness.
Or sometimes students aren'table to recognize it as bullying
, even though it is very severebullying.
So I start by trying to supportstudents to understand the
difference between things likebullying and conflict and mean,
you know, just meanness or meanmoments or just being nasty in
(06:10):
that moment, which could bebetween friends or you know
people who don't know each othervery well.
So I use real examples and Itake out, like you know,
scenarios and I say, okay, likelet's think like what's bullying
here?
What's conflict, what's justhaving a mean moment?
And then I kind of use thethree P's framework for them to
better understand whether or notit is bullying.
(06:30):
So the things that I like totalk about with students, that
kind of define bullying, arethings like is there a power
imbalance?
Is there a purpose to harm theother person?
Is there a repeated pattern ofthat bullying occurring?
So we want students to be ableto say, hey, like that was a
one-time thing and we're bothinvolved in that, so that's
probably conflict.
I'm not going to run to theteacher and say, hey, I've been
(06:52):
bullied, because that's conflictbetween us, as you know.
I'm not saying they shouldn'tcome to you, but I'm just saying
, you know, when students comeand they say I've been bullied,
but actually it's just themhaving conflict, you know you
want students to be able to say,hey, like this happened once
and that was rude, so it wasprobably just a mean moment,
like someone pushing past me atthe canteen or again, doesn't
(07:12):
mean it doesn't have to beaddressed.
But we're talking about how dowe define bullying?
And then I want students to beable to say, okay, this is
happening constantly, they'redoing it on purpose and I feel
powerless.
So this is something that isbullying behaviors.
And the reason this is soimportant is because students
need to be able to name it andidentify it, to be able to do
(07:32):
something about it, because alot of our students are being
bystanders to bullying or justnot being able to say anything
or not feeling empowered to beable to do anything about being
bullied.
There's also this high fivestrategy I've seen around and
that's really good because itgives them like something
concrete they can remember.
So it's just like a visual.
(07:53):
It's like ignore it, talkfriendly, talk firmly, walk away
and report it, and you can putthose on a hand, you can make
posters, you can let thempersonalize it.
They just need to know whattheir options are when it comes
to bullying.
And that reporting it is okay,it is okay to talk firmly with
somebody and advocate foryourself.
It's okay to walk away and it'sokay to seek support for that,
(08:15):
and it's also okay to do thatwhen you're not the one being
bullied but you're a bystanderof it.
You know, talk to somebody,walk away, report it, and just
having students feel moreempowered in that.
So I like those high fivestrategies for that reason.
So that is us understandingwhat bullying is and empowering
students with that knowledge.
So is it bullying?
Is it conflict?
Is it nastiness?
(08:36):
Is it?
You know, bullying becausethere's a power imbalance,
purpose to harm or a patternover time.
The second thing that I'd liketo do with students when it
comes to bullying is buildingempathy around it and, you know,
having students understand thelasting impact of it, just like
you know, the girl that bulliedme in high school clearly had no
idea about the lasting impactof the bullying that she, you
(08:58):
know, exhibited, had on me.
So I, you know there's thatmetaphor of the scrunched up
paper, which I also love.
You know, you scrunch up thepaper and then you get students
to unscrunch it and then try tosmooth it out and they have to
see, like visually, that thatpaper is.
You know, once you scrunch itup, like once you do something
to it, then it's always like themark is always there.
(09:19):
I have my own version of thiswhere students write nasty
things that they might've heardor said or you know, anything
like that, on a piece of paperwith a pencil.
I try to maybe keep boundariesaround that, on what they can
and can't say.
Just, you know, don't sayanything that is going to, you
know, be not safe for school,but just nasty things that
(09:39):
they've heard, that they'veexperienced, on a piece of paper
.
And yeah, obviously, dependingon your cohort, I teach older
students and then they try toerase them.
So they write it, so I don'ttell them to, I don't tell them.
That's going to be thechallenge when I set the
challenge.
But I just say, I just want youto get a piece of paper and a
pencil and just write the thingsthat people have said to you
that have been really hurtful,or that you think you've said to
(09:59):
someone that's been reallyhurtful it can be a brother or a
sister or a friend, whatever itmight be.
So cover that page.
You usenames or real situations, but then, when they're
finished, I give them thechallenge to then erase every
single word on the page untilthey can't see them anymore.
Then I get them to reflect onthat, because obviously you're
trying to erase them and there'salways going to be something
(10:20):
left behind.
There's always going to be somekind of mark.
It's going to be, there's goingto be resonant of that.
Then they reflect on it.
Like, what do you notice whenyou try to erase the words
completely?
How is that similar to whathappens when somebody says
hurtful things to somebody inreal life over time,
consistently, and then I getthem to write kind things over
the top.
What can you say instead?
(10:40):
How can you flip that and thenreally think about the power of
kindness?
So if you see someone beingbullied, someone is writing
those nasty things on theirpiece of paper, what can you do
to help them kind of, you know,wipe them out.
What can you do to build adifferent narrative for that
person?
So you know that's not whatthey're hearing, that's not what
(11:00):
they're seeing.
Only you've got other thingshappening and you know it just
really emphasizes the power ofkindness and community and just
being nice to each other.
So so that's one thing you cando in your anti-bullying
approach.
You can do that activity, youcan take it, that's fine.
So you can do the scrunched upone or you can do the pencil and
(11:21):
the rubbing out one and thenputting the kind words over the
top.
So I love that activity.
It's a really great visualmetaphor for the impact of
bullying and just in terms oflike other ways to embed it into
your week, like don't think youneed to overthink it very much.
You don't need a huge lesson.
I don't want you to necessarilytake out like chunks of time
from teaching the curriculum ifyou're not able to do that, if
(11:42):
you're already feeling underpressure.
But you can just put things inlike a starter activity or just
an opportunity for you todiscuss the concept of bullying
and what's going on and, youknow, just building some empathy
around that.
So I like to use throughoutanti-bullying week.
I like to use some starters I'veactually done it through the
whole month before Things likethe invisible backpack.
(12:04):
So these are a couple ofstarters that I use the
invisible backpack so I say tostudents everyone carries things
that we can't see, worries andstress and struggles.
What might be in the backpackof somebody who bullies other
people and what might be in thebackpack of someone who's being
bullied.
And I have two backpacks therethat they can fill in.
And I say fill in the backpackswith your answer.
(12:25):
And then I get them to discussit.
And this is really greatbecause not only does it help us
to discuss the impact ofbullying, but it also gets us to
think about, like, what mightmotivate someone to bully, like
what's going on for that personthat makes them want to put
other people down.
Another starter that I loveusing is if it were me so
imagine for a moment that youwere the one being left out,
laughed at or targeted.
How would you want others torespond?
(12:47):
Again, it's just an empathytask getting you know your
students to put themselves intoother people's shoes and then
saying, okay, if that's what Iwould need when someone's
bullying me, what might I beable to do for other people?
If I see something happening,if I'm a bystander to bullying,
what can I do to help?
You know, change the narrativefor that person, or to stand up
for them or to, you know, getthat bully to stop.
(13:10):
Like, what can I actually dosafely to be able to do that?
The third starter that Iabsolutely love doing is the
bystander.
So I ask students is seeingbullying happening and not doing
anything to help just as bad asdoing the bullying?
Why or why not?
It really gets studentsthinking and kind of debating
this point around being abystander and what the impact of
(13:31):
that is, and it just reallygets students to start thinking
outside of themselves and youknow, it's like understanding
why being an upstander is soimportant and what our role is
in our school community when itcomes to bullying.
So those are the three thingsthat I tend to do during
anti-bullying week.
I was about to say celebrateanti-bullying week, which
probably isn't the rightterminology, but those are just
(13:54):
a few of the things that I do.
I have a few.
You know I've got a big bundleof stuff that I um, I run with
students but like, just if youwant to do something really,
really basic.
If you just want it to be, youreally want to set aside time
for it.
If you don't have that muchtime, think about what bullying
(14:16):
is.
Define it for them, you know,get them to define bullying,
conflict and meanness.
Then get them to think about,you know, the impact of it, the
lasting impact.
So you can do one of those,those demonstrations whether
it's the screwing up the paperor writing on it and then
rubbing it out, and then maybe acouple of starters like those
things, those three things won'ttake a lesson.
It might be five minutes onelesson, 10 minutes another
lesson, then five minutes,another lesson.
It really isn't that long.
(14:37):
But the impact that we can makeby just highlighting
anti-bullying in a way that'snot performative, you know, I
think students kind of rolltheir eyes a little bit when
we're trying to talk aboutanti-bullying stuff, because
it's not, it doesn't have a lotof buy-in.
I think that a lot of studentslike, oh, whatever, they really
want to address bullying in away that's going to get students
(14:58):
connecting with it, which iswhy the starters are great,
because it's putting thestudents in the shoes of someone
being bullied.
You know, the visual metaphoritself is getting students doing
something, is getting studentsactively thinking about that
metaphor of the lasting impactof bullying, and then, finally,
you're giving them a little bitof education around what
bullying actually is.
So if you've only got a littlebit of time, I think that those
three things are a great way toyeah, just to spend a bit of
(15:22):
time during anti-bullying week,bullying no way week.
To yeah, to help spread thosethat awareness around the impact
of bullying.
My gosh, like I spoke a fewepisodes ago about the mental
health stats of our students andit is so alarming and so scary.
So anything that we can do totry to foster that community and
(15:42):
that kindness and that respectbetween our students is going to
go a very, very long way.
Okay, I'm going to leave itthere.
If you are in the BehaviourClub, by the way, I have got a
bunch of resources there for youfor bullying no way week that
you can use.
So just head into the resourcearea and you'll see it there, or
in this current month, you'llsee it there.
And for the rest of you, I'vegot a blog that you can head to
(16:06):
to see any of the all the ideasthat I've discussed in this
episode.
You can go to the blog and it'sthere for you, so you don't
have to remember it, you canjust pull it out.
I've got the three startersthere that you can just copy and
put on a PowerPoint orsomething and use those.
So make sure you head over tothe blog, which is a great place
to, yeah, describe everythingfrom this episode, and I'll pop
(16:26):
that link in the show notes foryou.
Okay, lovely teacher, whetheryou are in the middle of the
school year or on your summerholiday, I am just sending so
much love and I shall see younext week.
Actually, oh my gosh, next weekI am starting my challenge, my
five.
It's a five day challenge,right, but I am going to be
spreading it over the five weekson the podcast, just to give
(16:48):
you a bit of an idea around.
It is the five day kickstartchallenge.
So each of the days next monthI am going to be focusing on one
of the days of the challenge.
I've just said days a lot,haven't I?
So it's going to be absolutelyawesome.
It is good for anybody, nomatter where you are in the
school year, but I have designedit to launch at the start of
(17:10):
the school year, just becausewhen we're thinking about back
to school stuff, yes, you cantalk about like the classic and
I did.
I did a couple of weeks ago.
I spoke about the classic likeyou know how to set expectations
, and so if you need to learn abit of that kind of stuff, you
want to hear about how Iapproach my first week back then
definitely go and listen tothat episode.
But this challenge here that I'mgoing to be running is more
(17:30):
about like, what can we do everysingle day of the school year
to sprinkle classroom managementmagic in everything we do, in
our presence, in our routines,in everything?
So make sure, if you have notyet, make sure you are following
this show, make sure you havesubscribed and you can also join
(17:50):
the kickstart like live, so youcan come into the behavior club
for $1 and you can do thekickstart with me.
You'll have the resources,you'll have the videos and all
of that kind of stuff, so youcan head to the dash on
teachablescom forward slashkickstart and I'll leave it
there.
I'll also pop that link in theshow notes for you.
But I cannot wait to getstarted.
I'm so excited for next weekand, yeah, I shall see you there
(18:13):
, lovely teacher.
Bye for now.
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