This episode is personal. Raw. Vulnerable. And honestly… one of the most important stories I’ve ever shared.
So if you’re a teacher who’s ever doubted the impact you’re having, especially with those students who seem like they couldn’t care less? This one’s for you.
Today, I’m taking you back to my own high school days. Not the shiny, well-behaved student success story, but the version of me who was skipping class, stinking like cigarettes, and seriously thinking about dropping out altogether.
And then… there was Miss Povey. My English teacher.
The one who saw me. Who actually saw me.
I’ve shared little bits of this before, but never like this.
Inside the episode, I’ll walk you through:
- What was really going on for me during those high school years
- The moment I nearly dropped out and the one thing she said that changed everything
- The ripple effect of her belief in me (spoiler alert: it’s why this whole Unteachables thing even exists)
This is for every teacher who's ever wondered if that one sentence you wrote on a kid’s paper, or that 30-second conversation you had, really mattered.
I’m here to tell you, it freaking does.
What you’ll learn:
- Why one teacher’s belief can be enough to change a life
- The impact of seeing a student beyond their behaviour
- How academic disengagement is often masking something deeper
- A powerful reminder that your presence, your consistent, persistent presence, is more impactful than any program or policy
Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!
RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:
- Shop all resources
- Join The Behaviour Club
- My book! It’s Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management
- The Low-Level Behaviour Bootcamp
- Free guide: 'Chats that Create Change'
Connect with me:
- Follow on Instagram @the.unteachables
- Check out my website
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Oh, hi there, teachers.
Welcome to the UnteachablesPodcast.
I'm your host, Claire English,and I am just a fellow teacher,
a toddler mama, and a big oldbehaviour nerd on a mission to
demystify and simplify thatlittle thing called classroom
management.
The way we've all been taught tomanage behaviour and classroom
manage has left us playing crowdcontrol, which is not something
(00:23):
I subscribe to because we're notbouncers, we're teachers.
So listen in as I walk youthrough the game-changing
strategies, and I mean thethings that we can actually do
and action in our classroomsthat will allow you to lean into
your beautiful values as acompassionate educator and feel
empowered to run your room witha little more calm, and dare I
(00:43):
say it's a lot less chaos.
I will see you in the episode.
Hello, my lovely Unteachablescrew.
I hope you are having a greatweek or weekend or whatever
you're doing right now.
I wanted to start and it soundsso self-absorbed, which is
probably why I don't do it thatoften.
(01:04):
But I had this message onInstagram and it was from the
lovely Diana.
And Diana said, uh, don't wantto sound like a weirdo, but can
you give us a few more updateson your personal life on the
podcast, like work life, yourlovely husband, how your
daughter is getting on indaycare?
I like hearing about it everynow and again.
Um, so Diana, thank you.
(01:24):
That's really lovely.
And if you are the kind ofperson that's like, no, just
give me the freaking, you know,classroom management help.
Like, I don't care about yourlife, I care about what you can
help me with.
Um, then you can just fastforward through this little bit.
But I thought I would start witha little life update uh because
I am a human and so are you, andI think it is nice to give a
(01:45):
little update.
Uh so my little girl, Ava, sheis three in January.
And when I was writing a coupleof little things down, I'm like,
what has happened lately?
What has happened since I gave alittle bit of an update?
But she's three in January,which means I've had this
podcast for over three years,which, like, I don't know where
the time is going.
(02:05):
I started this podcast when Iwas heavily pregnant.
I'm like, I need to do somethinglike before she like I just felt
like this massive race before Ipopped her out.
I'm like, uh, okay, what do Ido?
I need to get a podcast ready.
I need to like, I think I linedup something ridiculous, like
three months of daily Instagramposts.
I lined up months of podcastepisodes in advance.
(02:27):
And looking back now, I'm like,girl, just chill, like
everything's okay.
I just was so scared of whatmotherhood would bring.
But yes, three years, fastforward three years, and I've
got this little incredible,hilarious girl who is just as
sassy as me, is just as much ofa wind-up as my husband.
And I just could not be more inlove with her if I tried.
(02:50):
Uh, she's just the best.
Um, and for anybody thinking,are you gonna have another one?
Because uh people love to askthat question and pry into that,
don't they?
Especially strangers on thestreet who see you with one
toddler or family members, loveto ask, like, are you having
another baby?
Um we will think about it maybewhen she's a little bit older,
(03:10):
because I am currently anotherlife update is that I am writing
another book.
I'm writing my second book forSage Publications, and I am so
excited about how it's comingtogether.
I don't think I've shared muchabout it on the podcast so far,
but it is called the Low LevelDisruption uh Playbook.
The low level disruptionplaybook, I've got to get used
(03:32):
to saying my new book name.
And it is what it says on the onthe pack, really, it is all
about low-level disruptions.
And the whole premise of thebook is that it follows a
teacher through a fictionalteacher, the one that kind of
like it spills up with all ofthe moments that we would all
kind of have in our day-to-day.
(03:52):
But it follows one kind oftypical lesson where all of
these behaviors are happeningand it kind of pauses at
different parts of the lessonand provides you with like a
step-by-step of what to do, whatthe problem is.
Uh, it's gonna be freakingawesome.
And I'm enjoying writing it.
But let me be honest with you,right?
Having a baby, being pregnant,and then having a baby.
I wrote the my last book, it'snever just about the behavior.
(04:14):
I wrote that when my daughterwas between being a newborn and
being six months old.
It was if the manuscript was duewhen she was six months old, and
it was amazing, but it wastraumatizing.
And I I honestly can't stand thethought of doing that
simultaneously again.
I would like to give all of myattention to the book, and I
(04:35):
would then like to give all ofmy attention to a baby and not
have to like, you know, do 20podcast episodes that are like
lined up, or do 90 Instagramposts and line them up.
It's just not how I want to gointo.
Um, if I get lucky enough tohave another baby, then that's
not how I want to do it.
Anyway, that is another aside.
(04:56):
Uh, hubby is good.
He is actually editing thispodcast.
So hello, hubby.
I actually said a few episodesago that I was a one-woman show,
and then he scoffed at me as heum edited the last podcast
episode.
He's like, one woman show, whatI'm here, because he has
actually been working with me,which is really exciting.
We moved to Australia obviouslyat the start of this year, and
(05:19):
design work does not come aseasy.
He's a designer and uh designwork isn't as flowing as it is
in London.
So um he's been working anddoing some stuff for the
Unteachables, which is great.
If you've emailed me recently,the person emailing you back
might have been my husband.
But yeah, speaking of the moveto Australia, we are settling
and adjusting back to life herein Australia.
(05:43):
Slowly, I say slowly.
Uh, I really miss London.
Like we left in like, you know,the start of 2024, I want to
say.
Yeah, the start of 2024, we leftLondon, and um I still just I
miss it so desperately, but Iknow that it's just so much
better here for Ava in terms oflike having family around and
(06:07):
the sun is shining.
Like it is spring here, and likethe very start of spring, and on
the weekend we were down at thebeach and we were swimming, and
the sun was shining, and it wasso beautiful.
So there are some huge benefitsof being back.
Like Ava absolutely loves ithere.
Anyway, I think that is enoughof a live update.
So, Diana, thank you for asking.
(06:27):
And anybody else out there whoactually cares about uh my life
behind the podcast.
But if you were just skippingthrough that, that is also
totally fine.
You can come back in now for theproper episodes, which is
actually another kind ofpersonal life story.
Uh, it is actually about one ofmy high school teachers.
I shared this story with mybehavior clubbers about two
(06:48):
months ago on one of our livesessions, and one of my um
members came and spoke to meafter and was like, I haven't
been able to stop thinking aboutthis for a week.
Like every time I walk into theclassroom, I'm thinking about
this story that you told, and itjust made me feel so much
better, and it's really thereminder that I needed.
So I really wanted to bring itonto the podcast and talk
through my high schoolexperience and this one
(07:11):
particular teacher.
So, onto the story, right?
I finished high school in 2007,so that is almost 20 years ago
now, which I can't, I can'teven, you know, believe that I
am saying that I left highschool almost 20 years ago.
But there I was very recentlysitting on my phone at an
(07:33):
embarrassing hour of the nightsearching for my high school
English teacher, Miss Povey.
I was going on a one-woman manhunt, one woman woman hunt, a
woman hunt, trying to find myhippie-dippy high school English
teacher who I didn't think wouldhave Facebook or Instagram or
(07:54):
anything like that because ofthe person that she was.
Like she's probably living herbest life in Katoomba, uh, just
reading books and you know,going for bushwalks.
And I hope that's the last, Ihope she's living just the best
life.
Anyway, if you have listened tothis show from the beginning, or
if you've read my book, you haveheard, I'm sure you've heard me
(08:14):
talk about this before.
But primary school was greatacademically, you know.
I was engaged, I was successful,but it was hard in other ways.
Like I was really severelybullied.
And if you've listened to mybullying no way week episode,
you'll know more about that,about how I had a run-in with
one of my former bullies and theimpact that that had on me.
(08:36):
Um, but when I was in school,like in primary school
particularly, I was reallylanky, I was tall.
I had this huge growth spurt,and I was that huge person that
had to kind of like stand rightback in center for the school
photos because I was thetallest, like I really was tall.
I was really lanky.
I also had really huge teeth,and I still have huge teeth, but
(08:59):
I've grown into them more, andyou know, they look a bit more
in place now.
And I had enormous ears again,like they're still enormous.
And I don't know if anyone outthere is from the same era as
me, where we just I think it'sactually come back around again,
which scares me.
But in the era that I was goingto primary school and high
school, we were all justobsessed with this like bowling
(09:20):
ball hair look where we had tolike slick our hair back as much
as possible.
And if one hair was at a place,it would look like social, you
know, like it just horrible.
So we had to slick our hairback, and not one hair was at a
place, like putting heaps andheaps of hairspray on it.
And me being this tall, lanky,like big-eared, big-teethed
(09:43):
girl, uh, I was just like thisQ-tip with big ears sticking out
the side, and and kids can bereally, really mean.
Um, so it was hard in thatrespect.
But primary school was greatbecause my teachers looked at me
and they just saw purepotential.
They thought I was reallybright.
(10:05):
I was in all of the gifted andtalented classes.
I was a very avid reader, so Ithink that's probably why I kind
of, you know, it was things cameeasy to me in terms of like my
literacy.
But then I went to high schooland things at home changed
immensely.
Like overnight things changed alot when my mum started to
struggle with severe OCD.
(10:27):
And overnight I felt like I wentfrom being a child who, you
know, was going well at schooland had all of these prospects
for the future, and you know,like all of those things, and
just home life was it was it wasgood, you know.
Like uh we didn't have a lot,and we lived in Western Sydney,
and like, you know, we were weekto week kind of struggle in
(10:52):
terms of money, we werestruggling, but I never felt
like I wasn't loved by my mum,and I've got lots of good
memories, and I I love myfamily, and you know, so things
were good in that in thatregard, but uh I went from being
a child and a child that wasquite happy to almost being a
(11:13):
carer to my mum.
Um, and my dad was not very muchof a help, and he's actually not
a very nice person.
So instead of being a supportduring that time when my mum was
struggling immensely with hermental health, and if anyone has
dealt with anybody who hassevere OCD, um, intrusive uh
thought OCD, it's one of themost brutal things that um you
(11:37):
can go through mentally.
But my dad, he wasn't a verygood support during that time
because instead of being thereand stepping up to the plate, he
decided to spend all of thefamily money, whatever money we
had, because we don't have alot, on dating websites and
hotel rooms for other women.
And when my mum was no longerable to kind of wait on him hand
(11:57):
and foot because she was like soabsent, like just mentally not
able to kind of cope in theday-to-day, he I was next in
line to wait on him hand andfoot because I was a girl, and
that is the woman's role in thehousehold, and that's what girls
do.
We exist just to serve men,which is also probably why my
(12:17):
brother had a very differentexperience when we were growing
up, and probably why he went onto be a successful accountant
while I was still sitting therein my early 20s smoking a pack
of cigarettes a day, trying tojust like get through life.
This, then, of course, when wewere at school, translated into
how I showed up and you know,when I showed up as well.
Like teachers, they didn't likeme, it was very obvious my
(12:41):
teachers hated me, I was reallydisruptive, and because mental
health and well-being and all ofthose things, they weren't quite
in the mainstream yet.
I truly fell through the cracks.
Uh, I was just told by everyone,like no one could see the
correlation between like mychanges in temperament, my
(13:02):
changes in, you know, likeattendance or like, you know,
work ethic.
They did they couldn't see thethe shift that happened and they
couldn't well, they saw theshift, but it's like they didn't
say we've got this 13-year-oldgirl who went from being really
studious to going into the bushand smoking and not coming to
class.
They couldn't see the connectionbetween those two.
(13:23):
So instead of being supportedand instead of somebody going,
like, hey Claire, what's goingon here?
I was told by everybody, justleave school, do a trade.
School is not for you.
Academics aren't your thing.
Like that was the dominantdiscourse all throughout my high
school years.
I couldn't relate to my peers.
I felt very lost.
(13:43):
I felt like, you know, everyone,I looked around me and everybody
was able, like all my peers,like were able to just be kids,
and they were talking aboutthings that that kids would talk
about, and you know, reallynormal childhood things, and I
just no longer could relatebecause when I was going home, I
was worried about finding my mumdead.
(14:04):
I was worried about, you know,just not like being able to
survive.
Like I was I was in totalsurvival mode all of the time,
and the kind of things that Iwas experiencing on a day-to-day
basis, I just could no longersee the purpose or the joy in
being a child.
(14:24):
Um, so it was really hard toconnect at school, and I just
felt so lost.
Despite being told to leaveschool quite frequently by
everybody around me, includingmy parents, um, because you
know, sending a kid to school isquite expensive.
And why would you want to keepsending a kid to school who
seemingly doesn't give a crap?
I did stay until year 12,despite everybody telling me not
(14:46):
to, but I was very, very close.
I probably just stayed because Ididn't know what else to do, but
I was very close to not showingup for my my HSC, my high school
certificate, which is the end ofschool exams.
So you'd call it differentthings in in different
countries.
Um, it'd be A levels in um theUK, and I'm not sure what it
would be in the US, I'm sorry,but like the end of school, like
(15:07):
the biggest exams when youfinish school.
So I stayed until you're 12.
I didn't think I'd get throughmy exams.
I would literally get to schooland then hide behind a car in
the car park and then get in myfriend's car and be driven to
McDonald's where we would sitthere and have coffees with like
12 sugars in it and smoke amillion cigarettes, and then I
would go back to school and Iwould stink like Siggies.
Like no teacher gave a crapabout what I was doing or who I
(15:28):
was because I was just thismisfit.
But throughout all of this,there was one like kind of
beacon of light which got methrough, which was the subject
that has always come very easyfor me, which was English.
So I did every bit of Englishthat I possibly could to give
myself a shot at it.
So when I was picking mysubjects for year 11 and 12, I
(15:50):
chose advanced English, I choseExtension 1 English, and I chose
Extension 2 English.
And I was taught by bum bum bum,getting to the crux of the
episode is not just me traumadumping, see, it was Miss Povey,
my English teacher.
And there are two significantmoments in the Povey timeline
that I want to talk about.
The first is when I waspreparing for my extension to
(16:12):
English piece.
For extension to English, ifyou're not aware, you have to do
a big project.
There's no courseworknecessarily.
It's just you putting together abig project that you work on for
an entire year and then yousubmit it to the board, and then
you get a result for that piece.
So for my extension to Englishpiece, I'm like, okay, what's
the easiest for me?
(16:33):
What's going to come naturallyand what's going to take the
least amount of effort?
Definitely wasn't an extendedessay.
It was going to be a story.
So I wrote a short story for myextension to piece.
It was about, um, it wasactually about fur farming
because I was like a vegetarianat the time and I was really big
on animal rights.
Um, and I wrote this piece fromthe perspective of an animal in
(16:57):
a I wish I could find that.
My gosh, it'd be so funny now,but obviously not the content's
not funny, but um I got so I wasdoing this piece and uh I
submitted the draft because I Idid do a little bit of work, uh,
funny that, but Miss Povey wrotesome feedback on the very little
(17:17):
work that I was doing becauseeverybody else was working
really hard and submitting lotsof drafts, and I finally got a
draft to Povey, and she wrote onmy page, she was like scribbling
little notes, and one of thebits of feedback that she wrote
was this here is trulybrilliant.
I actually remember very littledetail about high school and
(17:39):
university because I think thatI've kind of blocked things out,
but that sentence, this is trulybrilliant, I can see that as
vivid as a picture in my mindright now because that little
thing, that little like nuggetsof you are worth something here
and you can do something here,that meant so much.
(18:03):
I can't even tell you.
Like to this day, 20 yearslater, I think about that line
that she wrote on that piece ofpaper for me.
The second iconic Povey momentwas I was gonna pull out of my
HSE.
I said that before, like I justsaw literally no point of doing
the exams, I was gonna failanyway, I hadn't read the books,
(18:23):
I never read the books, I wasgonna, you know, be rubbish
anyway.
So I was leaving Povey'sclassroom one day and I think
she was calling me back and Isaid, I'm not gonna do it
anyway, like, you know, effort,like not, I'm not staying, I
can't be bothered.
And she stopped me and she said,Claire, there's no way that I'm
gonna let you not sit theseexams.
Like you are going to be sittingthese exams.
(18:43):
So you are not walking out ofthis classroom.
You can do this.
I don't care if you haven'tbloody read the book.
I haven't, I don't care if youdo this.
If you just walk into that room,you just walk into that exam
hall and you sit down and youpick up a damn pen and you just
write anything, you will passthis exam.
I promise you.
I didn't believe her.
And she goes, You're gonna,you're not going to lunch.
(19:03):
You're gonna be sitting hereright now and you're gonna be
writing me an essay based on thequestion that I put on the
board.
So, so that lunchtime she sat medown and she wrote an exam
question up on the board and shesaid, Okay, Claire, I want you
to write for half an hour.
Like, that's it.
Just write for half an hour.
I want to see what you can do,and I really want to see like
how you're going to go here.
(19:24):
And I'll be very honest abouthow you'd go in the HSC.
So I did.
I wrote my wrote for half anhour like she needed me to, and
she read it on the spot, andshe's like, you would be an
absolute idiot to not go intothose exams and sit those exams.
You are doing this, you aregoing to be fine.
(19:46):
You will you will pass this.
I promise you.
If you've done this half anhour, no prep, just go in there,
just try.
Um that was that was iconic,Povey, because she frigging saw
me.
She saw me for more than mybehavior, she saw me for more
than the heavy makeup that I waswearing, that mask that I was
(20:08):
wearing, the bleach blonde hairwith my huge emo fringe.
She saw me more than the, youknow, the cigarette smell that I
had.
And like every single lesson,Povey, no matter what I was
doing, she kept engaging me.
She kept asking me questions.
She kept freaking trying, evenwhen my answer was, I don't
(20:28):
know, or I didn't read the text,or I didn't do my homework, or,
you know, just no answer at all.
She didn't even get fluffy.
It's not like she asked, oh, areyou okay?
Like she just kept persistentlyshowing me every single lesson
that I belonged there and Ibelonged in that class, and that
she was always going to havehigh expectations of me when
(20:50):
every single person in my life,including myself, was telling me
that I couldn't do it, that Iwasn't worthy, that I shouldn't
bother, that I like I was sodeep in it.
I didn't want to get out of bed,I didn't want to go to school, I
didn't see the point inanything, but she believed in me
so much that I did.
(21:11):
And I sat those exams.
And not only did I sit thoseexams, somehow I went well
enough in those exams to beinvited to return to the high
achievers assembly, which wouldbe called the Ducks Assembly,
because I became like, you know,top in the school for English.
And I told you, English reallycame easy to me because I did
(21:32):
not do anything.
But it really got me through.
And I think, as I said, like Ithink primary school just gave
me a really great base for likereading and all that kind of
stuff.
But there was Miss Povey, right,in the crowds at that high
achievers assembly, looking on.
She wasn't shocked.
She just looked at me like, ofcourse, you went well.
(21:54):
Like there was no doubt aboutit.
I told you you'd be fine.
And I never thanked her in theway that she deserved.
But here I am 20 years later.
Like I didn't sit down and go,oh my God, you've impacted my
life so much.
Oh my God, you've changed mylife, or like, you're such a
great teacher.
I never said that, but here I am20 years later, somehow sitting
(22:14):
here as a fellow teacher and adamn good one at that.
Like it's like I fell intosomething that was my like
purpose in life, where I had nopurpose.
Um, you know, I'm talking abouther on a podcast.
I'm talking about I'm herehelping other teachers to help
students the way that she helpedme.
Her impact, the ripple effectthat she had just by those high
(22:37):
expectations that she had of meis something that we'll live on
now in the teachers that I help.
I'm not trying to sound cheesy,but here I am searching for her
on Facebook and Instagram to tryto tell her the impact that I
had, like that she had on me.
But this is what I'm alwayssaying.
We don't need to be counselorsor psychologists to help these
(23:00):
students who are freaking goingthrough it.
We don't need to be and or doall of these like big, big, big
things.
We just need to be greatteachers who see the potential
in our students and make surethey know that we see them as
human beings.
And that's it.
Like as long as you can sitthere and your students know
(23:22):
that you care about them and yousee the potential in them and
you have high expectations ofthem, you're going to get
students who will rise to that.
And you might not get a thankyou right.
And that student might not beable to articulate articulate.
Thanks, Perve.
You didn't teach me how to sayarticulate.
Um and that student might not beable to articulate exactly what
(23:42):
you have meant to them or theimpact that you have had because
you might not even they mightnot even realize it yet.
But that impact is going toripple throughout their lives as
well.
And I don't know who needs tohear that, but I really wanted
to share that on the podcasttoday.
That was a really vulnerableshare.
But I thought it was aftersharing it with my behavior
(24:04):
clubbers, I thought it wasreally important to do so
because they were like, yes, wewe need that reminder.
And again, this is not me tryingto like put us on this pedestal
and say that we're martyrs.
It's actually the opposite ofthat.
It's me saying that, like, justtweaking a few things or just
making sure we're really greatteachers.
We don't have to go like spendbloody 20 extra hours putting
(24:27):
together like SEL programs isjust about seeing the potential
in the young people that are infront of you.
And it's just gold.
I mean, that one line offeedback that I got on that
piece of writing, you know, likeit just it was gold.
And you can hand out little goldnuggets everywhere and in
everything you do, you don'thave to do anything extra.
(24:49):
Okay, I'm gonna leave it therebecause I really could just keep
rambling and keep ranting, but Iwill stop.
We're at 25 minutes.
I like to keep this episodeshort and sweet, but I really
hope, and if it did, by the way,please let me know if you got
something from this episode.
Um, but I will see you at thesame place.
At the same place, in the sameplace, at the same time next
(25:12):
week.
Uh bye for now, beautifulteachers.
Oh, hi there, teachers.
Welcome to the UnteachablesPodcast.
I'm your host, Claire English,and I am just a fellow teacher,
a toddler mama, and a big oldbehaviour nerd on a mission to
demystify and simplify thatlittle thing called classroom
management.
The way we've all been taught tomanage behaviour and classroom
manage has left us playing crowdcontrol, which is not something
(00:23):
I subscribe to because we're notbouncers, we're teachers.
So listen in as I walk youthrough the game-changing
strategies, and I mean thethings that we can actually do
and action in our classroomsthat will allow you to lean into
your beautiful values as acompassionate educator and feel
empowered to run your room witha little more calm, and dare I
(00:43):
say it's a lot less chaos.
I will see you in the episode.
Hello, my lovely Unteachablescrew.
I hope you are having a greatweek or weekend or whatever
you're doing right now.
I wanted to start and it soundsso self-absorbed, which is
probably why I don't do it thatoften.
(01:04):
But I had this message onInstagram and it was from the
lovely Diana.
And Diana said, uh, don't wantto sound like a weirdo, but can
you give us a few more updateson your personal life on the
podcast, like work life, yourlovely husband, how your
daughter is getting on indaycare?
I like hearing about it everynow and again.
Um, so Diana, thank you.
(01:24):
That's really lovely.
And if you are the kind ofperson that's like, no, just
give me the freaking, you know,classroom management help.
Like, I don't care about yourlife, I care about what you can
help me with.
Um, then you can just fastforward through this little bit.
But I thought I would start witha little life update uh because
I am a human and so are you, andI think it is nice to give a
(01:45):
little update.
Uh so my little girl, Ava, sheis three in January.
And when I was writing a coupleof little things down, I'm like,
what has happened lately?
What has happened since I gave alittle bit of an update?
But she's three in January,which means I've had this
podcast for over three years,which, like, I don't know where
the time is going.
(02:05):
I started this podcast when Iwas heavily pregnant.
I'm like, I need to do somethinglike before she like I just felt
like this massive race before Ipopped her out.
I'm like, uh, okay, what do Ido?
I need to get a podcast ready.
I need to like, I think I linedup something ridiculous, like
three months of daily Instagramposts.
I lined up months of podcastepisodes in advance.
(02:27):
And looking back now, I'm like,girl, just chill, like
everything's okay.
I just was so scared of whatmotherhood would bring.
But yes, three years, fastforward three years, and I've
got this little incredible,hilarious girl who is just as
sassy as me, is just as much ofa wind-up as my husband.
And I just could not be more inlove with her if I tried.
(02:50):
Uh, she's just the best.
Um, and for anybody thinking,are you gonna have another one?
Because uh people love to askthat question and pry into that,
don't they?
Especially strangers on thestreet who see you with one
toddler or family members, loveto ask, like, are you having
another baby?
Um we will think about it maybewhen she's a little bit older,
(03:10):
because I am currently anotherlife update is that I am writing
another book.
I'm writing my second book forSage Publications, and I am so
excited about how it's comingtogether.
I don't think I've shared muchabout it on the podcast so far,
but it is called the Low LevelDisruption uh Playbook.
The low level disruptionplaybook, I've got to get used
(03:32):
to saying my new book name.
And it is what it says on the onthe pack, really, it is all
about low-level disruptions.
And the whole premise of thebook is that it follows a
teacher through a fictionalteacher, the one that kind of
like it spills up with all ofthe moments that we would all
kind of have in our day-to-day.
(03:52):
But it follows one kind oftypical lesson where all of
these behaviors are happeningand it kind of pauses at
different parts of the lessonand provides you with like a
step-by-step of what to do, whatthe problem is.
Uh, it's gonna be freakingawesome.
And I'm enjoying writing it.
But let me be honest with you,right?
Having a baby, being pregnant,and then having a baby.
I wrote the my last book, it'snever just about the behavior.
(04:14):
I wrote that when my daughterwas between being a newborn and
being six months old.
It was if the manuscript was duewhen she was six months old, and
it was amazing, but it wastraumatizing.
And I I honestly can't stand thethought of doing that
simultaneously again.
I would like to give all of myattention to the book, and I
(04:35):
would then like to give all ofmy attention to a baby and not
have to like, you know, do 20podcast episodes that are like
lined up, or do 90 Instagramposts and line them up.
It's just not how I want to gointo.
Um, if I get lucky enough tohave another baby, then that's
not how I want to do it.
Anyway, that is another aside.
(04:56):
Uh, hubby is good.
He is actually editing thispodcast.
So hello, hubby.
I actually said a few episodesago that I was a one-woman show,
and then he scoffed at me as heum edited the last podcast
episode.
He's like, one woman show, whatI'm here, because he has
actually been working with me,which is really exciting.
We moved to Australia obviouslyat the start of this year, and
(05:19):
design work does not come aseasy.
He's a designer and uh designwork isn't as flowing as it is
in London.
So um he's been working anddoing some stuff for the
Unteachables, which is great.
If you've emailed me recently,the person emailing you back
might have been my husband.
But yeah, speaking of the moveto Australia, we are settling
and adjusting back to life herein Australia.
(05:43):
Slowly, I say slowly.
Uh, I really miss London.
Like we left in like, you know,the start of 2024, I want to
say.
Yeah, the start of 2024, we leftLondon, and um I still just I
miss it so desperately, but Iknow that it's just so much
better here for Ava in terms oflike having family around and
(06:07):
the sun is shining.
Like it is spring here, and likethe very start of spring, and on
the weekend we were down at thebeach and we were swimming, and
the sun was shining, and it wasso beautiful.
So there are some huge benefitsof being back.
Like Ava absolutely loves ithere.
Anyway, I think that is enoughof a live update.
So, Diana, thank you for asking.
(06:27):
And anybody else out there whoactually cares about uh my life
behind the podcast.
But if you were just skippingthrough that, that is also
totally fine.
You can come back in now for theproper episodes, which is
actually another kind ofpersonal life story.
Uh, it is actually about one ofmy high school teachers.
I shared this story with mybehavior clubbers about two
(06:48):
months ago on one of our livesessions, and one of my um
members came and spoke to meafter and was like, I haven't
been able to stop thinking aboutthis for a week.
Like every time I walk into theclassroom, I'm thinking about
this story that you told, and itjust made me feel so much
better, and it's really thereminder that I needed.
So I really wanted to bring itonto the podcast and talk
through my high schoolexperience and this one
(07:11):
particular teacher.
So, onto the story, right?
I finished high school in 2007,so that is almost 20 years ago
now, which I can't, I can'teven, you know, believe that I
am saying that I left highschool almost 20 years ago.
But there I was very recentlysitting on my phone at an
(07:33):
embarrassing hour of the nightsearching for my high school
English teacher, Miss Povey.
I was going on a one-woman manhunt, one woman woman hunt, a
woman hunt, trying to find myhippie-dippy high school English
teacher who I didn't think wouldhave Facebook or Instagram or
(07:54):
anything like that because ofthe person that she was.
Like she's probably living herbest life in Katoomba, uh, just
reading books and you know,going for bushwalks.
And I hope that's the last, Ihope she's living just the best
life.
Anyway, if you have listened tothis show from the beginning, or
if you've read my book, you haveheard, I'm sure you've heard me
(08:14):
talk about this before.
But primary school was greatacademically, you know.
I was engaged, I was successful,but it was hard in other ways.
Like I was really severelybullied.
And if you've listened to mybullying no way week episode,
you'll know more about that,about how I had a run-in with
one of my former bullies and theimpact that that had on me.
(08:36):
Um, but when I was in school,like in primary school
particularly, I was reallylanky, I was tall.
I had this huge growth spurt,and I was that huge person that
had to kind of like stand rightback in center for the school
photos because I was thetallest, like I really was tall.
I was really lanky.
I also had really huge teeth,and I still have huge teeth, but
(08:59):
I've grown into them more, andyou know, they look a bit more
in place now.
And I had enormous ears again,like they're still enormous.
And I don't know if anyone outthere is from the same era as
me, where we just I think it'sactually come back around again,
which scares me.
But in the era that I was goingto primary school and high
school, we were all justobsessed with this like bowling
(09:20):
ball hair look where we had tolike slick our hair back as much
as possible.
And if one hair was at a place,it would look like social, you
know, like it just horrible.
So we had to slick our hairback, and not one hair was at a
place, like putting heaps andheaps of hairspray on it.
And me being this tall, lanky,like big-eared, big-teethed
(09:43):
girl, uh, I was just like thisQ-tip with big ears sticking out
the side, and and kids can bereally, really mean.
Um, so it was hard in thatrespect.
But primary school was greatbecause my teachers looked at me
and they just saw purepotential.
They thought I was reallybright.
(10:05):
I was in all of the gifted andtalented classes.
I was a very avid reader, so Ithink that's probably why I kind
of, you know, it was things cameeasy to me in terms of like my
literacy.
But then I went to high schooland things at home changed
immensely.
Like overnight things changed alot when my mum started to
struggle with severe OCD.
(10:27):
And overnight I felt like I wentfrom being a child who, you
know, was going well at schooland had all of these prospects
for the future, and you know,like all of those things, and
just home life was it was it wasgood, you know.
Like uh we didn't have a lot,and we lived in Western Sydney,
and like, you know, we were weekto week kind of struggle in
(10:52):
terms of money, we werestruggling, but I never felt
like I wasn't loved by my mum,and I've got lots of good
memories, and I I love myfamily, and you know, so things
were good in that in thatregard, but uh I went from being
a child and a child that wasquite happy to almost being a
(11:13):
carer to my mum.
Um, and my dad was not very muchof a help, and he's actually not
a very nice person.
So instead of being a supportduring that time when my mum was
struggling immensely with hermental health, and if anyone has
dealt with anybody who hassevere OCD, um, intrusive uh
thought OCD, it's one of themost brutal things that um you
(11:37):
can go through mentally.
But my dad, he wasn't a verygood support during that time
because instead of being thereand stepping up to the plate, he
decided to spend all of thefamily money, whatever money we
had, because we don't have alot, on dating websites and
hotel rooms for other women.
And when my mum was no longerable to kind of wait on him hand
(11:57):
and foot because she was like soabsent, like just mentally not
able to kind of cope in theday-to-day, he I was next in
line to wait on him hand andfoot because I was a girl, and
that is the woman's role in thehousehold, and that's what girls
do.
We exist just to serve men,which is also probably why my
(12:17):
brother had a very differentexperience when we were growing
up, and probably why he went onto be a successful accountant
while I was still sitting therein my early 20s smoking a pack
of cigarettes a day, trying tojust like get through life.
This, then, of course, when wewere at school, translated into
how I showed up and you know,when I showed up as well.
Like teachers, they didn't likeme, it was very obvious my
(12:41):
teachers hated me, I was reallydisruptive, and because mental
health and well-being and all ofthose things, they weren't quite
in the mainstream yet.
I truly fell through the cracks.
Uh, I was just told by everyone,like no one could see the
correlation between like mychanges in temperament, my
(13:02):
changes in, you know, likeattendance or like, you know,
work ethic.
They did they couldn't see thethe shift that happened and they
couldn't well, they saw theshift, but it's like they didn't
say we've got this 13-year-oldgirl who went from being really
studious to going into the bushand smoking and not coming to
class.
They couldn't see the connectionbetween those two.
(13:23):
So instead of being supportedand instead of somebody going,
like, hey Claire, what's goingon here?
I was told by everybody, justleave school, do a trade.
School is not for you.
Academics aren't your thing.
Like that was the dominantdiscourse all throughout my high
school years.
I couldn't relate to my peers.
I felt very lost.
(13:43):
I felt like, you know, everyone,I looked around me and everybody
was able, like all my peers,like were able to just be kids,
and they were talking aboutthings that that kids would talk
about, and you know, reallynormal childhood things, and I
just no longer could relatebecause when I was going home, I
was worried about finding my mumdead.
(14:04):
I was worried about, you know,just not like being able to
survive.
Like I was I was in totalsurvival mode all of the time,
and the kind of things that Iwas experiencing on a day-to-day
basis, I just could no longersee the purpose or the joy in
being a child.
(14:24):
Um, so it was really hard toconnect at school, and I just
felt so lost.
Despite being told to leaveschool quite frequently by
everybody around me, includingmy parents, um, because you
know, sending a kid to school isquite expensive.
And why would you want to keepsending a kid to school who
seemingly doesn't give a crap?
I did stay until year 12,despite everybody telling me not
(14:46):
to, but I was very, very close.
I probably just stayed because Ididn't know what else to do, but
I was very close to not showingup for my my HSC, my high school
certificate, which is the end ofschool exams.
So you'd call it differentthings in in different
countries.
Um, it'd be A levels in um theUK, and I'm not sure what it
would be in the US, I'm sorry,but like the end of school, like
(15:07):
the biggest exams when youfinish school.
So I stayed until you're 12.
I didn't think I'd get throughmy exams.
I would literally get to schooland then hide behind a car in
the car park and then get in myfriend's car and be driven to
McDonald's where we would sitthere and have coffees with like
12 sugars in it and smoke amillion cigarettes, and then I
would go back to school and Iwould stink like Siggies.
Like no teacher gave a crapabout what I was doing or who I
(15:28):
was because I was just thismisfit.
But throughout all of this,there was one like kind of
beacon of light which got methrough, which was the subject
that has always come very easyfor me, which was English.
So I did every bit of Englishthat I possibly could to give
myself a shot at it.
So when I was picking mysubjects for year 11 and 12, I
(15:50):
chose advanced English, I choseExtension 1 English, and I chose
Extension 2 English.
And I was taught by bum bum bum,getting to the crux of the
episode is not just me traumadumping, see, it was Miss Povey,
my English teacher.
And there are two significantmoments in the Povey timeline
that I want to talk about.
The first is when I waspreparing for my extension to
(16:12):
English piece.
For extension to English, ifyou're not aware, you have to do
a big project.
There's no courseworknecessarily.
It's just you putting together abig project that you work on for
an entire year and then yousubmit it to the board, and then
you get a result for that piece.
So for my extension to Englishpiece, I'm like, okay, what's
the easiest for me?
(16:33):
What's going to come naturallyand what's going to take the
least amount of effort?
Definitely wasn't an extendedessay.
It was going to be a story.
So I wrote a short story for myextension to piece.
It was about, um, it wasactually about fur farming
because I was like a vegetarianat the time and I was really big
on animal rights.
Um, and I wrote this piece fromthe perspective of an animal in
(16:57):
a I wish I could find that.
My gosh, it'd be so funny now,but obviously not the content's
not funny, but um I got so I wasdoing this piece and uh I
submitted the draft because I Idid do a little bit of work, uh,
funny that, but Miss Povey wrotesome feedback on the very little
(17:17):
work that I was doing becauseeverybody else was working
really hard and submitting lotsof drafts, and I finally got a
draft to Povey, and she wrote onmy page, she was like scribbling
little notes, and one of thebits of feedback that she wrote
was this here is trulybrilliant.
I actually remember very littledetail about high school and
(17:39):
university because I think thatI've kind of blocked things out,
but that sentence, this is trulybrilliant, I can see that as
vivid as a picture in my mindright now because that little
thing, that little like nuggetsof you are worth something here
and you can do something here,that meant so much.
(18:03):
I can't even tell you.
Like to this day, 20 yearslater, I think about that line
that she wrote on that piece ofpaper for me.
The second iconic Povey momentwas I was gonna pull out of my
HSE.
I said that before, like I justsaw literally no point of doing
the exams, I was gonna failanyway, I hadn't read the books,
(18:23):
I never read the books, I wasgonna, you know, be rubbish
anyway.
So I was leaving Povey'sclassroom one day and I think
she was calling me back and Isaid, I'm not gonna do it
anyway, like, you know, effort,like not, I'm not staying, I
can't be bothered.
And she stopped me and she said,Claire, there's no way that I'm
gonna let you not sit theseexams.
Like you are going to be sittingthese exams.
(18:43):
So you are not walking out ofthis classroom.
You can do this.
I don't care if you haven'tbloody read the book.
I haven't, I don't care if youdo this.
If you just walk into that room,you just walk into that exam
hall and you sit down and youpick up a damn pen and you just
write anything, you will passthis exam.
I promise you.
I didn't believe her.
And she goes, You're gonna,you're not going to lunch.
(19:03):
You're gonna be sitting hereright now and you're gonna be
writing me an essay based on thequestion that I put on the
board.
So, so that lunchtime she sat medown and she wrote an exam
question up on the board and shesaid, Okay, Claire, I want you
to write for half an hour.
Like, that's it.
Just write for half an hour.
I want to see what you can do,and I really want to see like
how you're going to go here.
(19:24):
And I'll be very honest abouthow you'd go in the HSC.
So I did.
I wrote my wrote for half anhour like she needed me to, and
she read it on the spot, andshe's like, you would be an
absolute idiot to not go intothose exams and sit those exams.
You are doing this, you aregoing to be fine.
(19:46):
You will you will pass this.
I promise you.
If you've done this half anhour, no prep, just go in there,
just try.
Um that was that was iconic,Povey, because she frigging saw
me.
She saw me for more than mybehavior, she saw me for more
than the heavy makeup that I waswearing, that mask that I was
(20:08):
wearing, the bleach blonde hairwith my huge emo fringe.
She saw me more than the, youknow, the cigarette smell that I
had.
And like every single lesson,Povey, no matter what I was
doing, she kept engaging me.
She kept asking me questions.
She kept freaking trying, evenwhen my answer was, I don't
(20:28):
know, or I didn't read the text,or I didn't do my homework, or,
you know, just no answer at all.
She didn't even get fluffy.
It's not like she asked, oh, areyou okay?
Like she just kept persistentlyshowing me every single lesson
that I belonged there and Ibelonged in that class, and that
she was always going to havehigh expectations of me when
(20:50):
every single person in my life,including myself, was telling me
that I couldn't do it, that Iwasn't worthy, that I shouldn't
bother, that I like I was sodeep in it.
I didn't want to get out of bed,I didn't want to go to school, I
didn't see the point inanything, but she believed in me
so much that I did.
(21:11):
And I sat those exams.
And not only did I sit thoseexams, somehow I went well
enough in those exams to beinvited to return to the high
achievers assembly, which wouldbe called the Ducks Assembly,
because I became like, you know,top in the school for English.
And I told you, English reallycame easy to me because I did
(21:32):
not do anything.
But it really got me through.
And I think, as I said, like Ithink primary school just gave
me a really great base for likereading and all that kind of
stuff.
But there was Miss Povey, right,in the crowds at that high
achievers assembly, looking on.
She wasn't shocked.
She just looked at me like, ofcourse, you went well.
(21:54):
Like there was no doubt aboutit.
I told you you'd be fine.
And I never thanked her in theway that she deserved.
But here I am 20 years later.
Like I didn't sit down and go,oh my God, you've impacted my
life so much.
Oh my God, you've changed mylife, or like, you're such a
great teacher.
I never said that, but here I am20 years later, somehow sitting
(22:14):
here as a fellow teacher and adamn good one at that.
Like it's like I fell intosomething that was my like
purpose in life, where I had nopurpose.
Um, you know, I'm talking abouther on a podcast.
I'm talking about I'm herehelping other teachers to help
students the way that she helpedme.
Her impact, the ripple effectthat she had just by those high
(22:37):
expectations that she had of meis something that we'll live on
now in the teachers that I help.
I'm not trying to sound cheesy,but here I am searching for her
on Facebook and Instagram to tryto tell her the impact that I
had, like that she had on me.
But this is what I'm alwayssaying.
We don't need to be counselorsor psychologists to help these
(23:00):
students who are freaking goingthrough it.
We don't need to be and or doall of these like big, big, big
things.
We just need to be greatteachers who see the potential
in our students and make surethey know that we see them as
human beings.
And that's it.
Like as long as you can sitthere and your students know
(23:22):
that you care about them and yousee the potential in them and
you have high expectations ofthem, you're going to get
students who will rise to that.
And you might not get a thankyou right.
And that student might not beable to articulate articulate.
Thanks, Perve.
You didn't teach me how to sayarticulate.
Um and that student might not beable to articulate exactly what
(23:42):
you have meant to them or theimpact that you have had because
you might not even they mightnot even realize it yet.
But that impact is going toripple throughout their lives as
well.
And I don't know who needs tohear that, but I really wanted
to share that on the podcasttoday.
That was a really vulnerableshare.
But I thought it was aftersharing it with my behavior
(24:04):
clubbers, I thought it wasreally important to do so
because they were like, yes, wewe need that reminder.
And again, this is not me tryingto like put us on this pedestal
and say that we're martyrs.
It's actually the opposite ofthat.
It's me saying that, like, justtweaking a few things or just
making sure we're really greatteachers.
We don't have to go like spendbloody 20 extra hours putting
(24:27):
together like SEL programs isjust about seeing the potential
in the young people that are infront of you.
And it's just gold.
I mean, that one line offeedback that I got on that
piece of writing, you know, likeit just it was gold.
And you can hand out little goldnuggets everywhere and in
everything you do, you don'thave to do anything extra.
(24:49):
Okay, I'm gonna leave it therebecause I really could just keep
rambling and keep ranting, but Iwill stop.
We're at 25 minutes.
I like to keep this episodeshort and sweet, but I really
hope, and if it did, by the way,please let me know if you got
something from this episode.
Um, but I will see you at thesame place.
At the same place, in the sameplace, at the same time next
(25:12):
week.
Uh bye for now, beautifulteachers.
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