Three Bean Salad

Three Bean Salad

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

Episodes

May 6, 2025 3 mins

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

TOUR TICKETS: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday April and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for all that is holy)

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad


Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com


Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod


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April 22, 2025 65 mins

George is a native of Stockport, birthplace of The Renaissance, and so it is little wonder he has chosen that very topic for this week’s episode. Are we on the cusp of another renaissance? Might we be better of with a de-renaissance to make everything simpler just for a bit. It’s chunky fodder to be sure so why not let the beans mince it down smooth for you while you expend your mental energy on inventing whatever it is that will e...

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April 15, 2025 59 mins

Ella from Cambridge but currently in Cuba has offered up language as this week’s topic. Could she have known that the beans would not only take on this crucial subject with rigour and courage but they would use actual language to do so!!!

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Tickets for our UK TOUR available here: https://littlewa...

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April 8, 2025 58 mins

You will no doubt have a strong opinion on ham. It has been a muse to poets, a justification for war lords, a promise between lovers. It is mankind’s cornerstone. But ham salad? That’s something many of us have never truly got to grips with in theory or practice. Thanks then to Michigan-based wildcard Douglas for giving the beans this urgently needed topic for this week’s episode. Hocks away.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw...

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April 1, 2025 60 mins

It’s Helen of Bristol’s turn to feed the bean machine this week which has led to the topic being festivals. Of course there’s a festival for bloody everything these days and they’re not like they used to be even the ones that didn’t exist previously probably but you can’t even say that in public most likely and so and so forth.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Tickets for our tour available at this link from 10am on Friday 4...

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March 25, 2025 60 mins

Evidence that Vikings used toothpicks has been found in Eastern Sweden according to Big Archaeology. And who would dare to disagree with them, let alone needlessly argue the toss just for the sake of it? The beans, that’s who. Maybe be these so called ‘toothpicks’ were in fact used to score games of Nordic cribbage? Maybe they were used to stop complex burgers falling apart? Or maybe they were tiny spears for skewering mini-monks? ...

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March 18, 2025 67 mins

What are the beans really but gardeners of knowledge? For the benefit of all mankind they nurture the seeds of data, strip away the weeds of untruth and, from time to time, obscure everything in a great steaming pile of donkey shit. Thank you then to Matt from Chester-upon-Bremen for choosing the highly apposite topic of gardening for this week’s podcast.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Tickets for short film screening: htt...

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March 11, 2025 60 mins

Samuel of 84A High Street chooses giants as this week’s topic and no doubt he has his reasons. Should you wish to know those reasons the beans are unable to help but you could always spend the rest of your days ringing on the doorbell of every 84A High Street on Earth until you track down Samuel so you can ask the man himself unless he’s given us a false name or a false address or has moved during your quest or is simply out.

With t...

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March 4, 2025 64 mins

What is your council tax liability if you build a holiday bungalow in outer orbit? How would you recycle all that cosmic glassware? And most importantly, would the lukewarm banter of your favourite podcast freeze in the cold void of space? Callum of Oxsted clearly doesn’t know the answers to any of these questions bless him and so has suggested space travel tourism for the first topic of spring. Take it away, beans!

With thanks to o...

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February 4, 2025 13 mins

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).

But sign up to PATREON for weekly bonus episodes throughout March, ad-free episodes and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Ticket links for Henry's work-in-progress shows:

https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/henry-paker-illustratinator-wip-thu-3rd-apr-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202504031830/

https://museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/87...

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January 28, 2025 8 mins

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for natural law, magnets and the tides)

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad


Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com


Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod


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January 21, 2025 62 mins
Steven of Oslo suggests DIY as the topic for this week’s episode so if you’re looking for the audio equivalent of a double-treaded sub-insulated Type D prog-backed 9mm helix arched reverse spiral pentagonal retaining bolt shackle with adjustable nose you’ve come to the right place.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Merch now availabl...
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January 14, 2025 61 mins
We will never know if Guy Fawkes’ grim end would have changed had his barrister not gone for the “He only wanted to make the Houses of Parliament lukewarm” defence. Perhaps Mr Fawkes himself would have drawn comfort from the fact that, thanks to Georgia of York, he is now (and for the first time ever presumably) memorialised in podcast form: a medium he could have had no understanding of and likely would have suspected was a concoc...
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January 7, 2025 64 mins
A bean sharp scalpel is applied to a literary classic this week as Robin from Weymouth suggests the topic of Peter Pan. Could we have had Darth Vader without Tinkerbell? Could we have had a robo-handed Luke Skywalker without Captain Hook? Where does Chewbacca fit into all this? Answers on a postcard please.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

With thanks to our editor Laur...
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December 31, 2024 53 mins
The railway is this week’s topic thanks to Nick of Kent (which for our international listeners is “The Garden of England” according to Kent. It is also unusual as a county as it categorises each man born in Kent as either a “Kentish Man” or “Man of Kent” depending on which side of the River Medway they were born: a taxonomy which wilfully excludes men who live in Kent but weren’t born there, all women, nonbinary folk, children, etc...
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December 29, 2024 63 mins
To date the indisputable peak of human scientific endeavour has been managing to hide a bonus track on a CD. The natural next summit is to hide a bonus door on an advent calendar. Will we see this achieved in our lifetime? Unlikely. Therefore please console yourselves with this bonus episode of Three Bean Salad, not hidden but visible and available to all. This episode is exclusively dedicated to the extraordinary response to the r...
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December 24, 2024 63 mins
Tis the Yule and Jacob from Manchester very cannily suggests hippos as this week’s topic. In Aesop’s fable, the hippo is humiliated by being left out of any accounts of the Nativity and, according to Hans Christian Andersen, rather than sharing its feelings with its closest friend, the Little Mermaid, retreats to the Nile and dedicates itself to be able to run faster than you’d think it could. Perhaps by honouring the hippo on this...
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December 17, 2024 61 mins
Annie of Cork City reckons it’s high time the beans talked monuments and who could argue with that? Tune in for a lukewarm take on this zeitgeistiest of topics which incorporates everything from art to politics to nougat.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

Get in touch: threebeans...
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December 10, 2024 59 mins
Most of us can only dream of the splendour of the internal spaces occupied by London’s elite. A lucky few might have a neighbour who’s made it big on the pools, bought one of those glossy magazines with photos of a Londoner in their parlour and invited the whole street round to have a squiz. This week on the Three Bean Salad Podcast, the beans are knocking dreams and glossy magazines into cocked hat as their very own topflight Lond...
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