Three Bean Salad

Three Bean Salad

A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.

Episodes

October 21, 2025 62 mins

As our days grow shorter and our ear hair grows longer what better to reflect upon than the righteous placement of bollards and ethical commercial land zoning. Thank you then to Dan from Saint Bremen who has offered up town planning as this week’s source of lukewarm banter. Whatever you think you thought you remembered you knew about town planning, prepare to have a cost-effective, zero-emission, fully-accessible ideas-tramway buil...

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Even the most disciplined podcasters in the world are susceptible to the occasional whoopsie. So it is with this episode which, owing to circumstances outside but mostly inside the beans’ control, contains no listener topic suggestion but does contain a discourse on donkey milk soap which probably would have come up from the bean machine soon enough anyway to be fair.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Tickets for our UK TOUR ...

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October 7, 2025 65 mins

It’s a lukewarm take on the Antarctic this week owing to the actions of Mark from near Colliers Wood. We all know that the Antarctic holds strong appeal for scientists who either A) can’t work out how else to avoid a conventional domestic life or B) are waiting out the clock on a statute of limitations in their home nation. But what on Earth is in it for the penguins? What have they got to prove? And do their feet ever stick to the...

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September 30, 2025 65 mins

Lee of the Black Country wants the beans discuss Sunday roasts this week, presumably because he’s not allowed to have one himself this weekend. But why not? Was he rude to a policeman? Did he throw a wobbly when feeling overwhelmed at an unanticipated bridge toll-booth? Has he been telling fibs about Gerard Butler? Either way the beans are happy to oblige and give Lee and you the next best thing audio wise.

With thanks to our editor...

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September 23, 2025 55 mins

In WW2 a shortage of materials led to parachute silk often being recycled into knickers and vice versa. In honour of this the beans continue to send their underpants to His Majesty’s Armed Forces today, even in peacetime. But who the blazes is using this precious commodity for recreational purposes and why? Luckily Tom of Bristol has suggested extreme sports as this week’s topic so expect answers within.

With thanks to our editor La...

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September 16, 2025 61 mins

This week the beans tackle kitchen gadgets thanks to Tymon of Poland. Currently there are no legal restrictions on or requirements for the personal use of vegetable spiralizers in domestic, industrial, galley or toy kitchens. We exist in a legislative black hole so this episode couldn’t be more timely.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threeb...

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September 9, 2025 72 mins

People are known to have travelled from Bristol to Australia and vice versa on various occasions and sometimes more than once. Given these strong links it shouldn’t come as a shock that Loz of Bristol reckons this week’s topic for the beans ought to be Australia. Let’s bean.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Tickets for our UK T...

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September 2, 2025 64 mins

Sam of Aurora slung noodles into the bean machine, and the beans attacked it with relish, going deep on the topic in such a way that you'll never look at a noodle, or even tagliatelle, in the same way again. You thought you knew what noodles were, well think on friend. And then think some more, and some more. And you still won't get close to the paradigm-shifting lukewarm power of the beans.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

...

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A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of the sort of thing we do over there.

Henry tells Mike and Ben the story of Hans The Hedgehog.

www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

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August 5, 2025 4 mins

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

TOUR TICKETS: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

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July 29, 2025 5 mins

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of an EU directive)

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com

Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod



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July 22, 2025 66 mins

Hailey of Guildford offers up hiking as a topic for the beans this week which is nothing to be ashamed of. Just as the cardinal rule of the hiker is to leave no trace of themselves on the landscape, the lukewarm banter of the beans will pass through your mindscape with the firm promise to leave no memorable impression of any kind. 

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video ep...

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July 15, 2025 61 mins

Queen Vic, Lil’ Drina, Granny Europe, The Windsor Widow, The Saxe-Coburg Slicker, Big Bo Peep. Whatever you call her, Queen Victoria still holds the record for the monarch with the most pubs and Spice Girls named after them. No wonder Pete from Derby wanted a lukewarm lens cast over her - and he knew just the beans for the job.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes:&n...

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July 8, 2025 65 mins

Match Of The Day. Big Break. Bullseye. All of the major British sports have been comprehensively covered by television for decades - except archery. Looks like it’s time for the beans to pick up where television couldn’t be arsed. Ta very much to Charis of Los Angeles for this week’s topic (which is archery btw).

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon...

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July 1, 2025 59 mins

Dr G has the beans get all lukewarm under the collar about seagulls this week. Voted the animal least likely to be of any use in warfare four years running and Time Magazine’s “Worst Pet Experiment” (2003), the seagull is largely unloved by its human neighbours. Indeed a major survey by Ipsos MORI discovered that 99.23% of seagull based anecdotes cast the seagulls as the villain of the piece (and the remaining 0.77% were believed t...

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June 25, 2025 61 mins

The presumably unreconstructed Nick of Chicago feeds “Old Wives’ Tales” into the Bean Machine which spew-jects it just at the moment the beans are after a topic so that’s what it is. Is there no such thing as an “Old Husbands’ Tale” because husbands have no tales? Or because they typically die younger and therefore before reaching tale-telling maturity? The beans don’t know and make no effort to go into it whatsoever.

With thanks to...

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June 17, 2025 66 mins

They say if you remember the 60s then you didn’t really do yourself any serious brain damage in the 60s. Perhaps someone in that situation would be well placed to offer some thoughts on arguably the most famous decade of all time. Gabby of Worthing eschews such a source and instead seeks definitive banter on the 60s from the three beans who, between them, own almost one Lovin’ Spoonful CD.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Jo...

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June 10, 2025 66 mins

The beans have avoided it for as long as possible but Roddy of London has spoken and what he spake is “Moths”. This could be a fearsomely difficult listen for anyone with a loathing of moths or this podcast. The beans, however, are inexorably drawn to lukewarm banter just as the badger is drawn to the dual carriageway and so they chat the chat that must finally be chatted.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON fo...

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June 3, 2025 60 mins

Sean of Exeter kicks off a hot summer of lukewarm banter by suggesting the beans discuss wild camping. Sub-topics could but don’t include how to make a tent out of your own trousers, evading predators by setting them against each other and if “north” is effectively the top of a huge ball, will your compass still work if that ball rolls a bit?

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/vi...

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May 6, 2025 3 mins

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

TOUR TICKETS: https://littlewander.co.uk/tours/three-bean-salad-podcast/

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