Three Bean Salad

If a tree fell in the forest and made no sound why do you remember it so clearly? And when was this? Pre-Covid? And what on Earth was Derek doing there? And why does this memory have an original score composed by Sting and is that score what’s muddying the whole “did the tree make a sound” waters in the first place? Thanks to Danielle from The Halifax for selecting this week’s topic - memory. Or was it Daniella from The Horsham?

Wit...

Emily of Oxford tunes in to the vibes of a brand new year and reckons what the world needs to hear about from the beans is bodybuilders. It’s a well judged move and who better to pick the perfectly toned meat off this topic than three men who at any point in their lives could have tried a bit of bodybuilding or read about it or watched a bit on the the telly if they could have been arsed.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Joi...

For reasons we can't fully remember, last year at Ratmas-tide we read out 12 rat anecdotes sent in by listeners. Well, it's back again and this time it's live and writhing, like so many rats. Merry Ratmas!

Thanks to our pianist Freddie Tapner and our guest Isy Suttie.

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Saturday 2nd May - h...

The very latest statistics make it clear that, given the pervasiveness of organised crime worldwide, at least 2 regular listeners of Three Bean Salad must be directly involved in some Mob or other (and most likely at a middle-management level). But who are they? And do they know each other? Are they sworn enemies or, given their shared life experience, might they be able to develop a soul-nourishing friendship if they could only dr...

How and where and why and when and if do you wash your undergarments? Presumably this is a conversation Douglas from Michigan wishes to prompt across the world as he top-loads laundry into the bean machine and sets it to lukewarm without a second thought as to whether or not Bonjo’s in the middle of boil washing his banjo britches.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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The beans return refreshed, carefully groomed and oiled in all the right places for a new season of lukewarm banter. First up: neighbours, courtesy of Nicole of Oregon. Tune in for a heady mix of truth bombs and real talk washed down with half a pint of nitty-gritty.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of mindfulness)

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As our days grow shorter and our ear hair grows longer what better to reflect upon than the righteous placement of bollards and ethical commercial land zoning. Thank you then to Dan from Saint Bremen who has offered up town planning as this week’s source of lukewarm banter. Whatever you think you thought you remembered you knew about town planning, prepare to have a cost-effective, zero-emission, fully-accessible ideas-tramway buil...

Even the most disciplined podcasters in the world are susceptible to the occasional whoopsie. So it is with this episode which, owing to circumstances outside but mostly inside the beans’ control, contains no listener topic suggestion but does contain a discourse on donkey milk soap which probably would have come up from the bean machine soon enough anyway to be fair.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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It’s a lukewarm take on the Antarctic this week owing to the actions of Mark from near Colliers Wood. We all know that the Antarctic holds strong appeal for scientists who either A) can’t work out how else to avoid a conventional domestic life or B) are waiting out the clock on a statute of limitations in their home nation. But what on Earth is in it for the penguins? What have they got to prove? And do their feet ever stick to the...

Lee of the Black Country wants the beans discuss Sunday roasts this week, presumably because he’s not allowed to have one himself this weekend. But why not? Was he rude to a policeman? Did he throw a wobbly when feeling overwhelmed at an unanticipated bridge toll-booth? Has he been telling fibs about Gerard Butler? Either way the beans are happy to oblige and give Lee and you the next best thing audio wise.

With thanks to our editor...

In WW2 a shortage of materials led to parachute silk often being recycled into knickers and vice versa. In honour of this the beans continue to send their underpants to His Majesty’s Armed Forces today, even in peacetime. But who the blazes is using this precious commodity for recreational purposes and why? Luckily Tom of Bristol has suggested extreme sports as this week’s topic so expect answers within.

With thanks to our editor La...

This week the beans tackle kitchen gadgets thanks to Tymon of Poland. Currently there are no legal restrictions on or requirements for the personal use of vegetable spiralizers in domestic, industrial, galley or toy kitchens. We exist in a legislative black hole so this episode couldn’t be more timely.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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People are known to have travelled from Bristol to Australia and vice versa on various occasions and sometimes more than once. Given these strong links it shouldn’t come as a shock that Loz of Bristol reckons this week’s topic for the beans ought to be Australia. Let’s bean.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Sam of Aurora slung noodles into the bean machine, and the beans attacked it with relish, going deep on the topic in such a way that you'll never look at a noodle, or even tagliatelle, in the same way again. You thought you knew what noodles were, well think on friend. And then think some more, and some more. And you still won't get close to the paradigm-shifting lukewarm power of the beans.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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