Three Bean Salad
A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.
Episodes
July 24, 2024 • 61 mins
This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely who buried archaeology into the bean machine in the distant past naively assuming it would never be disturbed and would be allowed to rest in peace in perpetuity. Hard cheese, Pat!
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July 17, 2024 • 63 mins
"Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey badger’s front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course, is that people come to Three Bean Salad for comprehensive data batches on this subject as well as the very hottest of takes. Previous “searches” by listeners have included submarines, the Titanic and cruise ships. This week Ro...
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July 10, 2024 • 63 mins
Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this week’s topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episode - an attempt which, of course, failed. Rebecca has been referred to the Bean Standards Select Committee and is suspended without pay pending their findings.
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With thanks to our editor Laura ...
Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
With thanks to our editor Laura ...
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July 3, 2024 • 68 mins
This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. “Big deal!” we hear you cry. “He’s just tapping into the Zeitgeist!”. Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps such a man understands that the people need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride even when they might not think they need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride. Tune in again...
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June 26, 2024 • 67 mins
Is it true what they don’t say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking order? And more importantly where will podcasters be? Clergy level? Perhaps Cody from America has a take on all this? Perhaps not. Perhaps definitely Cody asked the beans to discuss feudalism and they did after a fashion.
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June 19, 2024 • 50 mins
Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they don’t disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of chance and find out? Simply “Spin That Bean!”* and you could stand to win the best part of an hour of lukewarm banter.*conceptual bean only. Sorry. You’ll need to click the link as per.
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With th...
Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
With th...
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June 12, 2024 • 63 mins
It is said that there as many books in the libraries of the world as there are atoms in a book (although not sure which book. Actually that doesn’t make sense given the variation in the size of books. Perhaps it was in a grain of sand. Or is that the thing about there being the same number of stars in the sky as grains of sand in a beach. But which beach? West Wittering is massive. Actually forget it). Freya of Bremen has chosen li...
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June 5, 2024 • 58 mins
A brand new series kicks the talon of lukewarm banter through the paper-thin shell of rules before squawking truth bombs from the beak of freedom and watching its unhatched siblings being gathered by the smallholder of something else and incorporated into a pretty decent ham and cheese omelette. That’s right, thanks to Katie of Hull, the first topic of the first of episode of series 13 is eggs.
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May 1, 2024 • 10 mins
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).
Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
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April 24, 2024 • 78 mins
This week the beans doff their Harris Tweed flap caps to Chrissie of Bremen whose topic suggestion of farming has slipped out of the bean machine’s birth canal, glistening with the lukewarm goo of banter before landing softly on the (also lukewarm) straw of compelling, independent broadcasting and bleating with the timbre of nature’s very own promotional jingle. The beans shall return come the radish harvest (June).
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April 17, 2024 • 69 mins
The Industrial Revolution, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the debut performance of “Wang Dang Doodle” by Howlin’ Wolf, the wedding of Jérôme d'Ambrosio and Eleonore von Habsburg, The Black Death. What do these things have in common? All of them took place within spitting distance of some quantity of wine probably. No wonder then that Charlie of St. Louis has selected wine as this week’s topic for the beans - served lukewarm.
Jo...
Jo...
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April 10, 2024 • 58 mins
Trigger warning for any misophonia sufferers this episode (although Henry probably weeded these people out long ago). Olives is this week’s topic with thanks to Lewis of Lewisham. Obviously no one really understands what an olive is so it’s a tough one for the beans but the beans battle on gamely nonetheless. Giant snails also get a mention and about ruddy time.
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Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www....
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April 3, 2024 • 69 mins
Cloche Bleue: noun
1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite
2) archaic Obsolete Royal Naval punishment also known as the “Arctic Arse Spinnaker”
3) A curate’s egg of an episode in which the podcasters forget to find a proper topic to discuss after being mesmerised by the work of a French jinglist called Samuel
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1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite
2) archaic Obsolete Royal Naval punishment also known as the “Arctic Arse Spinnaker”
3) A curate’s egg of an episode in which the podcasters forget to find a proper topic to discuss after being mesmerised by the work of a French jinglist called Samuel
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March 27, 2024 • 62 mins
Matt from Newcastle gets the beans chatting about the beach this week. Sure they cover the hits (your shingle, your windbreaks, your snorkels and so on) but they also cast a bean smeared lens over the behavioural psychology, the paleoanthropology and yes the very mythos of the towel/bare arse interface.
Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
With thanks to our editor Laura Gr...
Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
With thanks to our editor Laura Gr...
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March 20, 2024 • 60 mins
This weeks topic is tough guys and that’s thanks to Joe from Bremen in the Cotswolds who clearly understands what this podcast is actually about. Naturally the beans thrive in this chatosphere. After all, one of them has at least seven extremely small scars, one of them has driven a convertible with the top down in Wales and one of them is a card carrying beefcake.
With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
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With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
Join our PATREON for ad-fre...
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March 13, 2024 • 55 mins
Isaac of Bremen recommends the beans set banter to spooky and discuss ghosts this week. As you’d imagine they put what has long been a contentious subject to bed once and for all and they’re very brave about it at the same time but in an unassuming and modest way (and we’re not talking false modesty mind you). Benjamin Partridge also reveals the secret fuel of the Jingle Meister.
With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
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With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
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March 6, 2024 • 55 mins
Did the druidic architecture firm that designed Stonehenge make their pitch with a scale model made of beans? Were the stones moved halfway across Britain by crabs? (NB on a map the direction of travel is sideways!) Was Stonehenge the location of King Arthur’s stag do? There’s absolutely no way of knowing any of the above as it’s a prehistoric structure (ie built in a zero red tape environment so non-existent record keeping/plannin...
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February 7, 2024 • 14 mins
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).
Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
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January 31, 2024 • 6 mins
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of cosmic health and safety)
Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
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January 24, 2024 • 64 mins
For the last episode of the season place your head in the jaws of podcasting and let its lukewarm slobber cascade into your ears because the theme, with thanks to Stephen of Ireland, is the circus. The beans will be away for the month of Frerbrurary investigating whether or not fleas actually enjoy circus skills training or performance work but shall return full of the proverbial in March.
With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
Ti...
With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.
Ti...
Mark as Played
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