January 9, 2026 • 36 mins
On Today's Show: Prager explores the importance of happiness and how it can be achieved. He discusses the idea that people often prioritize immediate pleasure over long-term happiness and proposes a simple yet profound question: "Will this make me happier?"
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Speaker 1 (00:21):
Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of
hours of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and
to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Now it for Janina, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
It's the Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. Yes, everybody,
and is a very very important thing. Happiness not just
because it feels good. No no, no, no no. Happy
people do a lot more good for this world than
(01:02):
the unhappiness. All right, Let's let's be clear about that.
I'm sorry if you're unhappy that I'm saying this, I
really am. But that means that you have a moral
obligation to be as happy as you can be. It
is not a selfish pursuit happiness. It can be, but
it isn't. It's good for the world. It's good for
We want around you to be as happy as you
(01:24):
can be. It's an achievement. Happiness. It's an art. That's
why the vote an hour here. The world is better
when people are happier. Not only are you happier, the
world is a happier place. This is not a cliche, folks,
because people don't think that way they think of happiness.
I used to. I'm totally guilty. I used to think
(01:45):
of happiness as a selfish pursuit and realize, my god,
the world is so much better when people are happier. Okay,
now made the case for happiness and why the vote
an entire hour to it every week at this time today,
I'm going to give you a very basic, basic key
to being happier if I can, if I can convince
(02:07):
you of what I'm about to say, and it is
so self evident. Once I say it, you'll kick yourself
and not thinking about it more often, or even thinking
about it at all. I have a very simple both
suggestion today. It's not simple to enact, but it is
simple to understand. Ask yourself, as often as possible, will
(02:30):
the following make me a happier person? So when you
decide what to do, ask yourself, will I be happier
as a result? Not permanently happy necessarily, but just will
it make me happier? My theory is otherwise I wouldn't
(02:51):
be saying this. My theory is that by and large
people don't do that. That people do things by and
large either because they just have to obviously, so I'll
leave that aside. But where there is a choice, they
do things because that is the immediate feel good thing
to do. My best example is television watching. I ask you,
(03:19):
and your answer may be yes. I'm not saying don't watch.
I'm only asking you before you sit down to watch television.
I am asking you to ask yourself this question. Try
it for one week, that's all. If you're serious about
being a happier human, you must try this experiment. Go
(03:39):
through a few days, asking yourself before you do or
don't do something, will I be happier as a result
of doing this? Or will I be happier if I
don't do this? Will I be happier if I do
something else? Or will I be happier if I don't
do that? So, for example, here's an example. One hour
(04:03):
of television, and most people don't watch one hour. They
watch hours, but one hour of television. Will I be
a happier person if I take one hour away from
my television watching and read a book? And remember, I
am not talking about will you be deeper, smarter, brighter, sharp,
uper nothing, nothing. I'm not talking morality. I'm not talking
(04:24):
about education. I'm not talking about any of those wonderful things,
just happiness on just those grounds entirely. I want you
to ask yourself what will make me happier? Now you
may answer that an hour of TV. Fine. All I'm
(04:45):
asking you to do is ask the question what will
make me happier? See? That is the It's very people
don't do that because the immediate pull of something tempting
is so much greater than the long range thinking of
what will make me happy. Many men who don't get married,
(05:10):
many men who don't get married at least for a
very long time, are a classic example. Not all, but
many are a classic example of this where they don't
think long range. They think now, or they think erroneously
on this question, why would I get married? That's commitment,
that's monogamy. It's all the stuff that runs against my nature,
(05:31):
A free to go to have serial monogamy or just
play around, or just live in my own world and
do whatever I want, whenever I want. And there were
single women who were beginning to think that way too,
But it's mostly men. So they don't ask themselves really,
or they do ask themselves, which is even more troubling.
(05:55):
They will ask themselves what will make me happy? And
then they decide that staying single, even though by every
measurable data that we have, with all the problems that
marriage may have and that marriages often do have, single
singles are not as happy as marriage, especially among men.
So if a man were to ask, why will make
(06:17):
me happier in over the long run building a home
with a woman, building a family with a woman, establishing
myself in that way, or living as a bachelor the
rest of my life? If you ask the happiness question
most and not everyone, I acknowledge it. Remember, I'm not
telling you what the answer is. I'm telling you what
(06:37):
the question should be. That's very important to please understand that. Now,
obviously I think marriage will bring you greater happiness in
the long run than staying single your whole life, But
that's not my point. My point is just that you
ask the question, will an hour of taking piano bring
me more happiness? Or an hour of television? That's all
(07:00):
not make me deeper or anything like that. If when
I go to bed tonight, will I have been Will
I go to bed happier having played piano or watched TV?
One eight Prager seven seven six is the number one
eight p R A g E R seven seven six.
(07:22):
The question is could be asked and on every single level,
will I be happier if I have this dessert or
if I don't. Now by the way, sometimes the answer
is you will be. Remember I am not anti the
fun or the immediate joy. Immedia joy is also part
(07:42):
of being happy. It is absolutely, so please don't misread
what I am saying. There are times when just a
you know, a great meal with a great dessert will
have contributed to your joy of life, which contributes to
your happiness. Absolutely. Just ask yourself though that question, and
(08:02):
it is a great little guideline or a big guideline
for what intelligent choice is to make in your life.
Will I be happier? Now here? There are two things
people do that are wrong. One is they don't ask
themselves the question. The other is they ask themselves the
question and then come to the wrong answer. And that's
the saddest when they choose A over B thinking A
(08:25):
will make them a happier person, like the single guys
who think, oh, I will be happier if I never
get married. But it doesn't it But there are cases
where that may be. But by and large, that is
not the case. Do you understand this? Do you have
a problem with it? That's what I need you to
call in to so that this is perfectly clear. I
(08:49):
just gave a talk on happiness, and I see the
faces as they talk, obviously, and I know how to
read reactions I've given. I think I just figured it
out recently. I've given in my life approximately four to
five thousand public lectures. That's an incredible number. So you
obviously learn things from doing so. And I'm not talking
(09:11):
about radio broadcast, just public lectures. And I see faces
and when I spoke about this, just ask yourself, will
it make me happy? This is a good This is
a good question for those of you in UH for
forgetting married people, a single people. On having sex? Will
I be happier after having had it? Will I be
(09:34):
happier in the morning if I have sex with this person?
Now I am not talking here religion or values. This
is a happiness hour. You know I have strong religious values,
but that is not my point here. By the way,
that is to a point, will I be happier? If
I you could ask that in general? Will I be
happier with a religious commitment? Or without one. Most people
(09:56):
in our society who do, in fact join with a
religious community in some way do end up being happier
by every again, every study done by seculars. Seculars, that's
funny by secular people like professors that having a faith
community adds to people's longevity and to their happiness. Now,
(10:18):
that's not the only reason to be religious, obviously, it's
just the utilitarian one. But I'm just but I am
talking utilitarian here. I'm asking you to ask, and tell
your kids even to ask, will it make me happier?
It's a powerful question to ask. And ironically, people profess
the desire to be happy, but they don't ask this
(10:40):
of themselves so much of the time because happiness and
immediate pleasure are often in contradiction. And that's a problem, alrighty,
there are some people who do follow this or don't
agree with it, and so on. And I want your calls.
Does this make sense to you? One eight Praguer seven
(11:02):
seven six The Happiness Hour on the Dennis Praguer Show.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
If you're listening to the Dennis Pragershell, this is uh,
this is a different approach to happiness. This is the
happiness hour. And and today's approach is so when you
hear it, it makes so much sense and then but
when you try to apply it it becomes more complex.
(11:41):
A very simple thesis today and and it is in
my book, my book is Happiness is a serious problem.
And I I would imagine that any of you who
are moved by this particular hour each week will have
will have read it. I wouldn't understand why, but it's this.
Not every show is in the book, but this, this
(12:02):
particular idea is I'm just I am, of course flushing
it out here. And that is very Simply ask yourself
before you do something or don't do something, will this
make me happy? And as Alan points out, you can't
be happy and lazy. This is another example of how
laziness works so against our ultimate happiness. See, if you
(12:26):
did what you wanted, if laziness could could could in
fact dictate your day, you'd stay in bed. But the
longer you stay in bed, as it happens, the less
happy you will be. Later. It is when you get up,
you get you clean yourself, up, you shower, you you
you get ready for the day, you take it on.
(12:48):
You do something that you could look back on, that
is that that brings you happiness. Happiness is often and
usually is in fact the product of something. Now the
ideally you will have joy doing it, but not always.
There isn't joy in every moment of raising a child.
(13:10):
I think, I think that you know that, but but
when you look back on it, it is for most people,
it's a source of pain. By the way, there's a
lot of pain in child rearing, and very few kids
grow up to be the exact image that a parent
would have wanted the child to be, and that's just inevitable,
as we are not our parents image. But there is
(13:33):
a happiness there that is available. That that is because
of all the work you put in. Now, let's go
to some of your calls here asking the question will
it make me happy? Brian in Denver on k and US,
Dennis Prager High.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Hey Dennis, how are you?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I'm well? Thanks?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Hey Dennis. Is the first time I've ever called, and
the reason I took the opportunities because I think this
is such a great, great question and challenge, and I differ.
I agree with you that it's a great question to
ask in the big picture of life. But I think
where I disagree that I don't think it applies to
(14:12):
every situation.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Okay, tell me where it wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Well in your example that you used before regarding you know,
having this dessert or watching an hour of TV, I
think that that is such an, in my opinion, an
insignificant decision that it would be premature or even it
would be difficult to know whether or not that is
(14:38):
going to.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Make you happier. My assumption is that you are not overweight,
Is that correct? I am not exactly Uh how for
the vast number of Americans who are overweight, the decision
on whether or not to have dessert is of enormous
consequences to their to their long term happiness. And as
regards television, how much TV do you watch a night?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I'd say probably an hour or more night, Well.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
An hour or more could be, of course, an hour
or six hours.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Sure, I'd say I'd say no more than two hours
per night.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Okay, let me ask you if if I said to you, Brian,
you have to watch five hours a night the next month,
do you think that each night you're and after the
month you will have been a happier person or not,
or you think it's it's immaterial.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I don't think I would be able to answer that question.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
To be honest, Okay, I well, I am offering an
answer based and really you should look up on the
internet television watching or television and happiness, And it is
remarkable how consistent every study is by any way we
can measure happiness. And I admit that it's not easily
measured that after about an hour and a half, an
(15:55):
hour doesn't go this way or that way, which is
what you tend to watch, or an hour to two,
but beyond that, and it depends what you watch. Sporting
events is very different from a sitcom and the effect
on people's happiness, for example the but although obviously excessive
sports watching has its own problem. But in any event,
(16:15):
you are dismissing the significance of two things that I
do think play a major role. How people eat, listen. Uh.
To be overweight, certainly by any large number of poundage
is clearly works against one's happiness. So how can you
dismiss whether or not eating desserts is an issue of happiness?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Well, I guess, well, That's the reason I called Dennis,
all right. I mean I was trying to apply it
to myself and I didn't think the way that exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
That's why I knew you were thin. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Okay, take care. Let's go to more of
your calls in Corona, California on k r l A
eight seventy Ryan Ryan Dennis Prager.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Hi, Hello, Hi, Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'm well. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
You are a moral beacon, Dennis. If I can grow
to be half the man you are, then I will
mountains lifetime.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
You're you're making me blush. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
My question is this, how do you define happiness?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I actually, I'll go ahead.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
You pose a question if if you would to watch
an hour of TV or to read a book, which
would make you happier. My answer to that would be
both both would be happy. Both would make me happy.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
That's right, that's fine. Then do both. Remember I didn't
say don't watch television. I just said ask yourself the question.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
No, I'm not looking for you to answer to tell
me which is the correct answer for me.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Oh yeah, okay, right exactly.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
So I just want you, I would like for you
to kind.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Of define happiness. Define happiness? Is that what you're asking me?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Basically all right, let me let me answer you with
a may may well be a totally unsatisfactory response. I
cannot define it, and I make that clear in my
in the in my book, I actually put in some
dictionary definitions, all of which do nothing but just push
the question further. I feel about happiness, though, after seventeen
(18:17):
years of lecturing on it and ten years of writing
a book which became a number one best seller and
having the show every week, I continue to believe that
it is not definable, but that one knows it when
one has it. It is Can you define beauty? I mean,
many of the many of the most powerful things in
(18:39):
our lives cannot be fully defined. We live in the
age of scientism, of the worship of science. So if
you can't bottle it and measure it and re enact
it in an experiment, and then it doesn't seem real
to people. But most of us know when we walk
around are we in a largely happy state or not.
(19:00):
That doesn't mean at that moment every happy person has
unhappy times. I need you to know that, and that
includes me, just as every healthy person gets sick. Sometimes.
If you had the flu and I asked you, are
you a healthy person? You would say yes, right now,
I have the flu, you would say, but I am healthy,
(19:22):
So too with happiness. So it's not worth working on
a definition. It'll just confuse you by whatever definition you
give it. I just ask you to ask this questions
as often as possible in the next week. Will the
following make me happier or less happy or have no effect?
We'll be back in a moment. I'm Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I'm Dennis Prager. I'll tell you be more. I talk
about this particular aspect of happiness on this the Happiness
Hour on my show every week at this time. The
more I realize how important it is and I have
to explain so much about it. Now, remember what I'm saying,
and if you got on, stay on, folks. In other words,
I'm saying to the callers here now. I during the break,
(20:19):
I was thinking again of Brian's call on Denver. How
he called and said, well, if I ask myself, will
eating cheesecake or not forget cheesecake, well, having dessert, because
I used dessert. I often use cheesecake, which is a
bad idea because actually there are desserts that are more fattening.
But at any event, will having this dessert make me
(20:42):
happier or less happy? He said, But Dennis, that's insignificant.
It doesn't. It's not an issue. So I immediately knew
that he was thin. Remember that's why I'm not telling
you what will make you happy. Remember that it may
well be that on many occasions, having a good dessert
(21:04):
will increase your love of life, your joy, your contentment,
and the things that do help add to happiness. Absolutely,
my statement on the dessert was not anti dessert. It
was to ask yourself the question. You can ask it
about anything, anything, and that's what I want you to
do for a week. It's a great little experiment. Listen,
(21:26):
we have one life. Even if you believe in reincarnation,
you don't know who you were in the past anyway.
So as you are, you have this one life. It's
best to explore yourself as best as possible, not just
and of course I believe in exploring life. So here
is one way to better know you it's a terrific
little idea. One week, that's all I ask you to do.
(21:49):
It's fun. It's like a diary of one's emotions or
one's mindful cognizance of happiness. And before you do something,
and after just monitor am I happy? Will it make
me happy? And then afterwards and after the week as well,
(22:11):
ask yourself the question what made me happy during this week?
Not what was fun? What made me happy? Because clearly
having dessert is fun, but sometimes it didn't make you happier.
A lot of people who are overweight have dessert, have fun,
but it's they're so guilt ridden it actually decreases their happiness,
(22:31):
which is a terrible sad combination. All right, So that's
very important. Now, where is the one here I want
to do? Here you go perfect, Roseville, California, kt KZ
and Beth Beth Dennis Prager.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Hi, Hi there. I'm searching for some clarity. I have children,
I love dessert, I'm not heavy, I don't watch TV.
There are things that I will tell my children that
you need to do, even though you don't want to do.
They're not going to necessarily make you happy, but they're
necessary to your survival.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Or well like what like what your homework?
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Cleaning your room?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Well, well, all right, hold on if in fact, cleaning
their room or homework will not in the long run
make them happier, it's something for you to really think.
Why is it important? I I attribute so much importance
to happiness that you know, I believe of I believe
a clean room will ultimately make you happier.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
I would agree because a clean house makes me happier
than seeing things that need to be done that are
not complete.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Exactly. So there you go. So then there is a
happiness answer this just that isn't fun cleaning it. In fact,
cleaning the house may be the perfect example of that
which which doesn't bring, which is not fun or joyful
during it. I assume that that's true. I'm not sure
you sing through laundry. No, all right, so there you go.
(24:00):
But but that is, by the way, that is why
I have another which I alan, I'm gonna put this down.
I have to do this again another time. How do
we make the stuff that isn't fun into more fun?
Speaker 5 (24:13):
What is the mundane? Yeah, doing mundane isn't necessarily what's
going to keep its happy.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
That's well, No, the mundane will make you happier, because
if you didn't do the mundane cleaning of your house,
it would be an unhappier home. There's just no question
about that.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
I agree with all right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
By the way, though, it is worth asking yourself, at
what level of happiness are the returns minimal? In other words,
at what level of cleanliness will I now go beyond
what is necessary for my happiness and enter into some
realm of obsession? That's right. No, people really might have
(24:48):
to do that. I mean, God, God bless them, my
parents and their whole generation. This is a very funny thing.
From my parents' generation would put plastic on the sofas.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
I don't know if you've ever seen that.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay, well there you go, and you know, so there
you had a level of cleanliness that was that couldn't
be beaten. You can't get a dirty sofa if it's
covered in plastic. But did you ever sit on a
sofa covered in plastic? We'll be back. That's a very
important call, Beth, I thank you. I will deal with that,
(25:23):
not today, but I will deal without another happiness hour
on making them mundane more fun. I have a lot
of thoughts on that. And it's in my book. We'll
be back in a moment. All right, everybody, you're listening
to the Dennis Prager Show. This is the Happiness Hour.
Every Friday at this time I devote an hour to
(25:43):
the subject of happiness. Gives you an idea of how
important I think it is, not only because it's the
obvious that it's good to be happy, but happy people
make the world the better. As a general rule, we
don't expect the happy to commit acts of terrorism, for example,
or to join the Nazi Party. A happy Nazi is
(26:04):
somewhat of an oxymoron. I think you would acknowledge, so
happy people is a big deal. Now. Today's today's subject
is ask yourself before you do anything. Will this increase, decrease,
or have no effect on my happiness? That's all. It's
an interesting project for you to engage in over the
next week and ask yourself that over the long term,
(26:26):
will will staying single you men who don't want to commit,
Will staying single make me a happier person twenty years
down the line? Will I be happier for having been
having not made a home with somebody? That's all? Just
ask yourself these quests. Maybe you will. I'm not telling
you what the answers are. I do that on different
(26:46):
hours when we talk about values. Today is just happiness
or not today this particular subject. Naples, Florida, WCNZ and Pete.
Hello Pete, Dennis.
Speaker 7 (26:56):
Prager Hello, Hi, I am Pete Starsan. I wanted to
tell you why I agree with you on the matter
of reading a book for one hour is more pleasurable
than watching TV for the one hour.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yes.
Speaker 7 (27:11):
The reason why I say so is the mind numbing
performance that you see on the television. It just leaves
you avoid well. If you spend our reading, at least
nation gets fired if you get something done. I feel
like if it makes me feel better about my mind
and who I am. But the same thing is true
in so many other aspects. You're talking about hours watching television,
(27:34):
and let's say spending on an hour talking with your child,
that's right, I personally would say spending all with my
child or an hour in the gym. Pis ave. Spending
an hour on the internet. I'd say spending it all
in the gym.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Right. In every example, every You're right, Pete, I agree
with you. But in every example, the tougher choice was
the one that brought happiness. And that is why I
cited Allan's point. My producer, Alan Estrin, that's why I
cited his point about how laziness is one of the
key obstacles to happiness because that which when you give in,
(28:12):
when you do the easy thing, you are probably doing
the thing that will decrease your happiness. The easier thing
is not to work out. The easy to think is
to eat what you want. The easy and by the way,
I need this message as much as anybody. Don't think
whenever I say these things that I have imbibed these
ideas entirely. No, I haven't. I fight laziness all the time.
(28:33):
It's you know, I could vegetate, well, not vegetating in
a sense of stare out. I can never watch TV
that I acknowledge, but I could, you know, I could
just do my hobbies all day. Absolutely, there's no question.
And so you have to figure out ways to get
around your nature. But at least one way is to think.
(28:54):
That's why we have the mind versus the brain. The
brain wants to sit, the mind wants to work out.
And I'm appealing to your mind. What will make you happier?
I thank you, Pete. That was that was correct what
you said. And let's go to Richard in Los Angeles
on kr L A Hello Richard.
Speaker 6 (29:13):
The first of all, God, that's that you do the show.
I think it's a great thing for everybody.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
To thank you, thank you, good thing.
Speaker 6 (29:20):
The reason I'm calling is and actually thinking of what
a lot of the other people said. I have been,
and I for a long time a depressed person. Somebody
who's in depression, bottom line, does not want to do
very much that's right, of anything that's right. And the
more that I do not do things, the more it
is easier to continue that sort of pattern. And that
leads to, of course, I'm sure you know.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Not being happy exactly, it's a horribly vicious cycle.
Speaker 6 (29:46):
And there's no action. The thing that is not is
lacking is action. What is happening is in action. So
it's like if you if you don't want to let's
say do something. It's almost like in a lot of
cases you need to do the opposite. So if you
don't say, well I don't want to go out and
go to the park or something for whatever reason, say no,
it would be good to go to the park, go there,
(30:08):
walk around do something, because that is something that would
be the opposite of what you would be thinking of doing,
being depressed and not wanting to get ready to go
or doing anything like that. And it's something that's who
is in my situation that I have difficulty with because
are you.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
On an antidepressant?
Speaker 6 (30:26):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I am? Is it working?
Speaker 6 (30:29):
I to be honest, I'm not sure. I'm not sure
because I still feel like I'm I'm depressed.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Can you go? Can you go to work?
Speaker 6 (30:38):
Nope?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So you're all right, So you're on a level where
it actually paralyzes you your depression.
Speaker 6 (30:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
And what what pill are you taking? What medicine?
Speaker 6 (30:48):
I take a lot of seconds. One is called remarn
and the other one is called well buttri and I
actually take two.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah. Well, well Buttrian should give you a little perk up,
but it doesn't. It's not so much of an it.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
Tell me honest, I've been taking these long enough that
I want to, well.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Why why don't you take other ones? There were so
many to choose from you. Are you one to the
care of a psychiatrist?
Speaker 6 (31:09):
Yes, I think at this point, because of how long
I've been taking this, I think that I need to
talk to my doctor, because I still don't. I feel
all that I'm not getting better as far is being
able to get out and do.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Right. Obviously not, obviously not. And my heart goes out
to you. But I'll tell you every year is a
lost year. And I you know, I don't want to
depress you further, but I want to give you a
sense you know you may well have it, but I
just want to give you a sense of urgency that
you know there were so many different medications out there
(31:45):
that maybe look, maybe it's it's not doable. I don't know.
And as well as talk therapy anyway, good luck, my friend,
because I do I feel for you on that. Let's
go to someone who claims he can define happiness. That's
that's that's a bold claim. Shall home in Los Angeles, Hello, Shalloam, shalloam,
(32:05):
shall hoam, sell.
Speaker 8 (32:06):
Them Dennis Rabbi, Den Baxley. But you can call me
so them please. I teach classes here in Los Angeles
on happiness and relationships and other things. And I my
thing in general, not so much happiness. But you say
something you can't define, right, And I always stress that
you need to define things otherwise because we can fool
ourselves into thinking that we have something.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
All right, fair enough. What's your definition of happiness?
Speaker 8 (32:31):
Happiness? My definition is the emotional feeling you get when
you focus on and appreciate that which you have or
which you are doing.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
I'm quiet because I'm ruminating over it. It is the
emotional feeling that you have when you focus on what.
Speaker 8 (32:51):
You are doing, that which you have, that what you have,
or that you're what you are doing.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
So for you, happiness is an emotional state.
Speaker 8 (32:59):
I think that is for everyone.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
All right, we'll be back in a moment. We'll continue.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Dennis Prager here and nah, Rabbi Selim and I should
have a long talk on this. And I thank you
for your call. Only because of time, Rabbi, I'm not
continuing on your call, but the I'll tell you the
immediate problem and if you want to email me or
you know, even I would allow you to call again.
You know, even though we try to take different calls
each week. Next week, is that the problem with relying
(33:44):
on an emotional state in any in any event, for
a definition of happiness to me at any rate? Is
that Take the lady who is cleaning her home. The
emotional state while cleaning is not you know, for the
thousandth day in a row, doing the laundry is not
going to necessarily be a happy one. But having having
(34:09):
done it, there is happiness because the family is in
better shape. In fact, if you're still on, are you
still there?
Speaker 7 (34:16):
Yes?
Speaker 8 (34:17):
How do you?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah? Go ahead?
Speaker 8 (34:19):
Certainly. I agree that relying on your emotions will not
determine your happiness if you listen to the definition your
your intellectual your thought process determines your emotions.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
But you gave emotional state is part of your definition?
Speaker 8 (34:35):
Said, yeah, correct, I'll repeat it. It's the emotional feeling
based on your way of thinking when you focus on
and appreciate that what you have or that what you're
doing is a way of thinking. Oh okay, so that
way you think determines your emotions.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
All right, fair enough, Okay, thank you? Because I believe
that that we can't as obviously you now do too,
or have before, and I just didn't hear it correctly.
That's why I say in my book, I appeal to
the mind rather than the emotions. On the issue. All right,
let's see here. You know it's a prolezy in Gordon.
You can do something that makes you happy as you're
(35:11):
doing something you don't like to do. Yes, yes, you can.
In fact, that's why a lot of people listen to
a show like this while they're doing some mundane task.
It's a good example. Or listen to music absolutely and
oh boy, let's see Jennifer and Phoenix. You got a
few seconds. Give it to me.
Speaker 9 (35:30):
Hey, Dennis, happy Friday, Thank you say. I just wanted
to make a quick comment and just let you know that,
you know, in all of my thirty four years of
being an incredibly happy person, the irony of it was
I was very judgmental about people who said they were
depressed and on medication, and I was very judgmental, like,
come on, get it together, because I didn't understand it.
(35:50):
And then I was in a serious accident where I
was burned pretty bad and I had to be on
narcotics for a few months. And part of my experience
with the narcotics is I went through bring chemical highs
and lows and let me tell you something, I get
it now. It is debilitating when you have this chemistry
that goes on when you don't want to leave the house,
(36:10):
you know, you don't want to function. And now I
am a much happier person than I've experienced that. And
then I have compassion and understanding for people who are well.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I am glad. I got to take your Jennifer. How
do you develop empathy? Alan, That's a subject. How do
you develop empathy? How could the thin guy, how can
he empathize with the overweight? How can the beautiful empathize
with the ugly? It's a big question. This has been
the happiness Hour. Don't go away. I'm Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit dennispragger
dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses,
and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.
Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of
hours of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and
to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Now it for Janina, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
It's the Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. Yes, everybody,
and is a very very important thing. Happiness not just
because it feels good. No no, no, no no. Happy
people do a lot more good for this world than
(01:02):
the unhappiness. All right, Let's let's be clear about that.
I'm sorry if you're unhappy that I'm saying this, I
really am. But that means that you have a moral
obligation to be as happy as you can be. It
is not a selfish pursuit happiness. It can be, but
it isn't. It's good for the world. It's good for
We want around you to be as happy as you
(01:24):
can be. It's an achievement. Happiness. It's an art. That's
why the vote an hour here. The world is better
when people are happier. Not only are you happier, the
world is a happier place. This is not a cliche, folks,
because people don't think that way they think of happiness.
I used to. I'm totally guilty. I used to think
(01:45):
of happiness as a selfish pursuit and realize, my god,
the world is so much better when people are happier. Okay,
now made the case for happiness and why the vote
an entire hour to it every week at this time today,
I'm going to give you a very basic, basic key
to being happier if I can, if I can convince
(02:07):
you of what I'm about to say, and it is
so self evident. Once I say it, you'll kick yourself
and not thinking about it more often, or even thinking
about it at all. I have a very simple both
suggestion today. It's not simple to enact, but it is
simple to understand. Ask yourself, as often as possible, will
(02:30):
the following make me a happier person? So when you
decide what to do, ask yourself, will I be happier
as a result? Not permanently happy necessarily, but just will
it make me happier? My theory is otherwise I wouldn't
(02:51):
be saying this. My theory is that by and large
people don't do that. That people do things by and
large either because they just have to obviously, so I'll
leave that aside. But where there is a choice, they
do things because that is the immediate feel good thing
to do. My best example is television watching. I ask you,
(03:19):
and your answer may be yes. I'm not saying don't watch.
I'm only asking you before you sit down to watch television.
I am asking you to ask yourself this question. Try
it for one week, that's all. If you're serious about
being a happier human, you must try this experiment. Go
(03:39):
through a few days, asking yourself before you do or
don't do something, will I be happier as a result
of doing this? Or will I be happier if I
don't do this? Will I be happier if I do
something else? Or will I be happier if I don't
do that? So, for example, here's an example. One hour
(04:03):
of television, and most people don't watch one hour. They
watch hours, but one hour of television. Will I be
a happier person if I take one hour away from
my television watching and read a book? And remember, I
am not talking about will you be deeper, smarter, brighter, sharp,
uper nothing, nothing. I'm not talking morality. I'm not talking
(04:24):
about education. I'm not talking about any of those wonderful things,
just happiness on just those grounds entirely. I want you
to ask yourself what will make me happier? Now you
may answer that an hour of TV. Fine. All I'm
(04:45):
asking you to do is ask the question what will
make me happier? See? That is the It's very people
don't do that because the immediate pull of something tempting
is so much greater than the long range thinking of
what will make me happy. Many men who don't get married,
(05:10):
many men who don't get married at least for a
very long time, are a classic example. Not all, but
many are a classic example of this where they don't
think long range. They think now, or they think erroneously
on this question, why would I get married? That's commitment,
that's monogamy. It's all the stuff that runs against my nature,
(05:31):
A free to go to have serial monogamy or just
play around, or just live in my own world and
do whatever I want, whenever I want. And there were
single women who were beginning to think that way too,
But it's mostly men. So they don't ask themselves really,
or they do ask themselves, which is even more troubling.
(05:55):
They will ask themselves what will make me happy? And
then they decide that staying single, even though by every
measurable data that we have, with all the problems that
marriage may have and that marriages often do have, single
singles are not as happy as marriage, especially among men.
So if a man were to ask, why will make
(06:17):
me happier in over the long run building a home
with a woman, building a family with a woman, establishing
myself in that way, or living as a bachelor the
rest of my life? If you ask the happiness question
most and not everyone, I acknowledge it. Remember, I'm not
telling you what the answer is. I'm telling you what
(06:37):
the question should be. That's very important to please understand that. Now,
obviously I think marriage will bring you greater happiness in
the long run than staying single your whole life, But
that's not my point. My point is just that you
ask the question, will an hour of taking piano bring
me more happiness? Or an hour of television? That's all
(07:00):
not make me deeper or anything like that. If when
I go to bed tonight, will I have been Will
I go to bed happier having played piano or watched TV?
One eight Prager seven seven six is the number one
eight p R A g E R seven seven six.
(07:22):
The question is could be asked and on every single level,
will I be happier if I have this dessert or
if I don't. Now by the way, sometimes the answer
is you will be. Remember I am not anti the
fun or the immediate joy. Immedia joy is also part
(07:42):
of being happy. It is absolutely, so please don't misread
what I am saying. There are times when just a
you know, a great meal with a great dessert will
have contributed to your joy of life, which contributes to
your happiness. Absolutely. Just ask yourself though that question, and
(08:02):
it is a great little guideline or a big guideline
for what intelligent choice is to make in your life.
Will I be happier? Now here? There are two things
people do that are wrong. One is they don't ask
themselves the question. The other is they ask themselves the
question and then come to the wrong answer. And that's
the saddest when they choose A over B thinking A
(08:25):
will make them a happier person, like the single guys
who think, oh, I will be happier if I never
get married. But it doesn't it But there are cases
where that may be. But by and large, that is
not the case. Do you understand this? Do you have
a problem with it? That's what I need you to
call in to so that this is perfectly clear. I
(08:49):
just gave a talk on happiness, and I see the
faces as they talk, obviously, and I know how to
read reactions I've given. I think I just figured it
out recently. I've given in my life approximately four to
five thousand public lectures. That's an incredible number. So you
obviously learn things from doing so. And I'm not talking
(09:11):
about radio broadcast, just public lectures. And I see faces
and when I spoke about this, just ask yourself, will
it make me happy? This is a good This is
a good question for those of you in UH for
forgetting married people, a single people. On having sex? Will
I be happier after having had it? Will I be
(09:34):
happier in the morning if I have sex with this person?
Now I am not talking here religion or values. This
is a happiness hour. You know I have strong religious values,
but that is not my point here. By the way,
that is to a point, will I be happier? If
I you could ask that in general? Will I be
happier with a religious commitment? Or without one. Most people
(09:56):
in our society who do, in fact join with a
religious community in some way do end up being happier
by every again, every study done by seculars. Seculars, that's
funny by secular people like professors that having a faith
community adds to people's longevity and to their happiness. Now,
(10:18):
that's not the only reason to be religious, obviously, it's
just the utilitarian one. But I'm just but I am
talking utilitarian here. I'm asking you to ask, and tell
your kids even to ask, will it make me happier?
It's a powerful question to ask. And ironically, people profess
the desire to be happy, but they don't ask this
(10:40):
of themselves so much of the time because happiness and
immediate pleasure are often in contradiction. And that's a problem, alrighty,
there are some people who do follow this or don't
agree with it, and so on. And I want your calls.
Does this make sense to you? One eight Praguer seven
(11:02):
seven six The Happiness Hour on the Dennis Praguer Show.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
If you're listening to the Dennis Pragershell, this is uh,
this is a different approach to happiness. This is the
happiness hour. And and today's approach is so when you
hear it, it makes so much sense and then but
when you try to apply it it becomes more complex.
(11:41):
A very simple thesis today and and it is in
my book, my book is Happiness is a serious problem.
And I I would imagine that any of you who
are moved by this particular hour each week will have
will have read it. I wouldn't understand why, but it's this.
Not every show is in the book, but this, this
(12:02):
particular idea is I'm just I am, of course flushing
it out here. And that is very Simply ask yourself
before you do something or don't do something, will this
make me happy? And as Alan points out, you can't
be happy and lazy. This is another example of how
laziness works so against our ultimate happiness. See, if you
(12:26):
did what you wanted, if laziness could could could in
fact dictate your day, you'd stay in bed. But the
longer you stay in bed, as it happens, the less
happy you will be. Later. It is when you get up,
you get you clean yourself, up, you shower, you you
you get ready for the day, you take it on.
(12:48):
You do something that you could look back on, that
is that that brings you happiness. Happiness is often and
usually is in fact the product of something. Now the
ideally you will have joy doing it, but not always.
There isn't joy in every moment of raising a child.
(13:10):
I think, I think that you know that, but but
when you look back on it, it is for most people,
it's a source of pain. By the way, there's a
lot of pain in child rearing, and very few kids
grow up to be the exact image that a parent
would have wanted the child to be, and that's just inevitable,
as we are not our parents image. But there is
(13:33):
a happiness there that is available. That that is because
of all the work you put in. Now, let's go
to some of your calls here asking the question will
it make me happy? Brian in Denver on k and US,
Dennis Prager High.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Hey Dennis, how are you?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I'm well? Thanks?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Hey Dennis. Is the first time I've ever called, and
the reason I took the opportunities because I think this
is such a great, great question and challenge, and I differ.
I agree with you that it's a great question to
ask in the big picture of life. But I think
where I disagree that I don't think it applies to
(14:12):
every situation.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Okay, tell me where it wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Well in your example that you used before regarding you know,
having this dessert or watching an hour of TV, I
think that that is such an, in my opinion, an
insignificant decision that it would be premature or even it
would be difficult to know whether or not that is
(14:38):
going to.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Make you happier. My assumption is that you are not overweight,
Is that correct? I am not exactly Uh how for
the vast number of Americans who are overweight, the decision
on whether or not to have dessert is of enormous
consequences to their to their long term happiness. And as
regards television, how much TV do you watch a night?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I'd say probably an hour or more night, Well.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
An hour or more could be, of course, an hour
or six hours.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Sure, I'd say I'd say no more than two hours
per night.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Okay, let me ask you if if I said to you, Brian,
you have to watch five hours a night the next month,
do you think that each night you're and after the
month you will have been a happier person or not,
or you think it's it's immaterial.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I don't think I would be able to answer that question.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
To be honest, Okay, I well, I am offering an
answer based and really you should look up on the
internet television watching or television and happiness, And it is
remarkable how consistent every study is by any way we
can measure happiness. And I admit that it's not easily
measured that after about an hour and a half, an
(15:55):
hour doesn't go this way or that way, which is
what you tend to watch, or an hour to two,
but beyond that, and it depends what you watch. Sporting
events is very different from a sitcom and the effect
on people's happiness, for example the but although obviously excessive
sports watching has its own problem. But in any event,
(16:15):
you are dismissing the significance of two things that I
do think play a major role. How people eat, listen. Uh.
To be overweight, certainly by any large number of poundage
is clearly works against one's happiness. So how can you
dismiss whether or not eating desserts is an issue of happiness?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Well, I guess, well, That's the reason I called Dennis,
all right. I mean I was trying to apply it
to myself and I didn't think the way that exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
That's why I knew you were thin. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Okay, take care. Let's go to more of
your calls in Corona, California on k r l A
eight seventy Ryan Ryan Dennis Prager.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Hi, Hello, Hi, Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'm well. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
You are a moral beacon, Dennis. If I can grow
to be half the man you are, then I will
mountains lifetime.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
You're you're making me blush. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
My question is this, how do you define happiness?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I actually, I'll go ahead.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
You pose a question if if you would to watch
an hour of TV or to read a book, which
would make you happier. My answer to that would be
both both would be happy. Both would make me happy.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
That's right, that's fine. Then do both. Remember I didn't
say don't watch television. I just said ask yourself the question.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
No, I'm not looking for you to answer to tell
me which is the correct answer for me.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Oh yeah, okay, right exactly.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
So I just want you, I would like for you
to kind.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Of define happiness. Define happiness? Is that what you're asking me?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Basically all right, let me let me answer you with
a may may well be a totally unsatisfactory response. I
cannot define it, and I make that clear in my
in the in my book, I actually put in some
dictionary definitions, all of which do nothing but just push
the question further. I feel about happiness, though, after seventeen
(18:17):
years of lecturing on it and ten years of writing
a book which became a number one best seller and
having the show every week, I continue to believe that
it is not definable, but that one knows it when
one has it. It is Can you define beauty? I mean,
many of the many of the most powerful things in
(18:39):
our lives cannot be fully defined. We live in the
age of scientism, of the worship of science. So if
you can't bottle it and measure it and re enact
it in an experiment, and then it doesn't seem real
to people. But most of us know when we walk
around are we in a largely happy state or not.
(19:00):
That doesn't mean at that moment every happy person has
unhappy times. I need you to know that, and that
includes me, just as every healthy person gets sick. Sometimes.
If you had the flu and I asked you, are
you a healthy person? You would say yes, right now,
I have the flu, you would say, but I am healthy,
(19:22):
So too with happiness. So it's not worth working on
a definition. It'll just confuse you by whatever definition you
give it. I just ask you to ask this questions
as often as possible in the next week. Will the
following make me happier or less happy or have no effect?
We'll be back in a moment. I'm Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I'm Dennis Prager. I'll tell you be more. I talk
about this particular aspect of happiness on this the Happiness
Hour on my show every week at this time. The
more I realize how important it is and I have
to explain so much about it. Now, remember what I'm saying,
and if you got on, stay on, folks. In other words,
I'm saying to the callers here now. I during the break,
(20:19):
I was thinking again of Brian's call on Denver. How
he called and said, well, if I ask myself, will
eating cheesecake or not forget cheesecake, well, having dessert, because
I used dessert. I often use cheesecake, which is a
bad idea because actually there are desserts that are more fattening.
But at any event, will having this dessert make me
(20:42):
happier or less happy? He said, But Dennis, that's insignificant.
It doesn't. It's not an issue. So I immediately knew
that he was thin. Remember that's why I'm not telling
you what will make you happy. Remember that it may
well be that on many occasions, having a good dessert
(21:04):
will increase your love of life, your joy, your contentment,
and the things that do help add to happiness. Absolutely,
my statement on the dessert was not anti dessert. It
was to ask yourself the question. You can ask it
about anything, anything, and that's what I want you to
do for a week. It's a great little experiment. Listen,
(21:26):
we have one life. Even if you believe in reincarnation,
you don't know who you were in the past anyway.
So as you are, you have this one life. It's
best to explore yourself as best as possible, not just
and of course I believe in exploring life. So here
is one way to better know you it's a terrific
little idea. One week, that's all I ask you to do.
(21:49):
It's fun. It's like a diary of one's emotions or
one's mindful cognizance of happiness. And before you do something,
and after just monitor am I happy? Will it make
me happy? And then afterwards and after the week as well,
(22:11):
ask yourself the question what made me happy during this week?
Not what was fun? What made me happy? Because clearly
having dessert is fun, but sometimes it didn't make you happier.
A lot of people who are overweight have dessert, have fun,
but it's they're so guilt ridden it actually decreases their happiness,
(22:31):
which is a terrible sad combination. All right, So that's
very important. Now, where is the one here I want
to do? Here you go perfect, Roseville, California, kt KZ
and Beth Beth Dennis Prager.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Hi, Hi there. I'm searching for some clarity. I have children,
I love dessert, I'm not heavy, I don't watch TV.
There are things that I will tell my children that
you need to do, even though you don't want to do.
They're not going to necessarily make you happy, but they're
necessary to your survival.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Or well like what like what your homework?
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Cleaning your room?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Well, well, all right, hold on if in fact, cleaning
their room or homework will not in the long run
make them happier, it's something for you to really think.
Why is it important? I I attribute so much importance
to happiness that you know, I believe of I believe
a clean room will ultimately make you happier.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
I would agree because a clean house makes me happier
than seeing things that need to be done that are
not complete.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Exactly. So there you go. So then there is a
happiness answer this just that isn't fun cleaning it. In fact,
cleaning the house may be the perfect example of that
which which doesn't bring, which is not fun or joyful
during it. I assume that that's true. I'm not sure
you sing through laundry. No, all right, so there you go.
(24:00):
But but that is, by the way, that is why
I have another which I alan, I'm gonna put this down.
I have to do this again another time. How do
we make the stuff that isn't fun into more fun?
Speaker 5 (24:13):
What is the mundane? Yeah, doing mundane isn't necessarily what's
going to keep its happy.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
That's well, No, the mundane will make you happier, because
if you didn't do the mundane cleaning of your house,
it would be an unhappier home. There's just no question
about that.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
I agree with all right.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
By the way, though, it is worth asking yourself, at
what level of happiness are the returns minimal? In other words,
at what level of cleanliness will I now go beyond
what is necessary for my happiness and enter into some
realm of obsession? That's right. No, people really might have
(24:48):
to do that. I mean, God, God bless them, my
parents and their whole generation. This is a very funny thing.
From my parents' generation would put plastic on the sofas.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
I don't know if you've ever seen that.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay, well there you go, and you know, so there
you had a level of cleanliness that was that couldn't
be beaten. You can't get a dirty sofa if it's
covered in plastic. But did you ever sit on a
sofa covered in plastic? We'll be back. That's a very
important call, Beth, I thank you. I will deal with that,
(25:23):
not today, but I will deal without another happiness hour
on making them mundane more fun. I have a lot
of thoughts on that. And it's in my book. We'll
be back in a moment. All right, everybody, you're listening
to the Dennis Prager Show. This is the Happiness Hour.
Every Friday at this time I devote an hour to
(25:43):
the subject of happiness. Gives you an idea of how
important I think it is, not only because it's the
obvious that it's good to be happy, but happy people
make the world the better. As a general rule, we
don't expect the happy to commit acts of terrorism, for example,
or to join the Nazi Party. A happy Nazi is
(26:04):
somewhat of an oxymoron. I think you would acknowledge, so
happy people is a big deal. Now. Today's today's subject
is ask yourself before you do anything. Will this increase, decrease,
or have no effect on my happiness? That's all. It's
an interesting project for you to engage in over the
next week and ask yourself that over the long term,
(26:26):
will will staying single you men who don't want to commit,
Will staying single make me a happier person twenty years
down the line? Will I be happier for having been
having not made a home with somebody? That's all? Just
ask yourself these quests. Maybe you will. I'm not telling
you what the answers are. I do that on different
(26:46):
hours when we talk about values. Today is just happiness
or not today this particular subject. Naples, Florida, WCNZ and Pete.
Hello Pete, Dennis.
Speaker 7 (26:56):
Prager Hello, Hi, I am Pete Starsan. I wanted to
tell you why I agree with you on the matter
of reading a book for one hour is more pleasurable
than watching TV for the one hour.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yes.
Speaker 7 (27:11):
The reason why I say so is the mind numbing
performance that you see on the television. It just leaves
you avoid well. If you spend our reading, at least
nation gets fired if you get something done. I feel
like if it makes me feel better about my mind
and who I am. But the same thing is true
in so many other aspects. You're talking about hours watching television,
(27:34):
and let's say spending on an hour talking with your child,
that's right, I personally would say spending all with my
child or an hour in the gym. Pis ave. Spending
an hour on the internet. I'd say spending it all
in the gym.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Right. In every example, every You're right, Pete, I agree
with you. But in every example, the tougher choice was
the one that brought happiness. And that is why I
cited Allan's point. My producer, Alan Estrin, that's why I
cited his point about how laziness is one of the
key obstacles to happiness because that which when you give in,
(28:12):
when you do the easy thing, you are probably doing
the thing that will decrease your happiness. The easier thing
is not to work out. The easy to think is
to eat what you want. The easy and by the way,
I need this message as much as anybody. Don't think
whenever I say these things that I have imbibed these
ideas entirely. No, I haven't. I fight laziness all the time.
(28:33):
It's you know, I could vegetate, well, not vegetating in
a sense of stare out. I can never watch TV
that I acknowledge, but I could, you know, I could
just do my hobbies all day. Absolutely, there's no question.
And so you have to figure out ways to get
around your nature. But at least one way is to think.
(28:54):
That's why we have the mind versus the brain. The
brain wants to sit, the mind wants to work out.
And I'm appealing to your mind. What will make you happier?
I thank you, Pete. That was that was correct what
you said. And let's go to Richard in Los Angeles
on kr L A Hello Richard.
Speaker 6 (29:13):
The first of all, God, that's that you do the show.
I think it's a great thing for everybody.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
To thank you, thank you, good thing.
Speaker 6 (29:20):
The reason I'm calling is and actually thinking of what
a lot of the other people said. I have been,
and I for a long time a depressed person. Somebody
who's in depression, bottom line, does not want to do
very much that's right, of anything that's right. And the
more that I do not do things, the more it
is easier to continue that sort of pattern. And that
leads to, of course, I'm sure you know.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Not being happy exactly, it's a horribly vicious cycle.
Speaker 6 (29:46):
And there's no action. The thing that is not is
lacking is action. What is happening is in action. So
it's like if you if you don't want to let's
say do something. It's almost like in a lot of
cases you need to do the opposite. So if you
don't say, well I don't want to go out and
go to the park or something for whatever reason, say no,
it would be good to go to the park, go there,
(30:08):
walk around do something, because that is something that would
be the opposite of what you would be thinking of doing,
being depressed and not wanting to get ready to go
or doing anything like that. And it's something that's who
is in my situation that I have difficulty with because
are you.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
On an antidepressant?
Speaker 6 (30:26):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I am? Is it working?
Speaker 6 (30:29):
I to be honest, I'm not sure. I'm not sure
because I still feel like I'm I'm depressed.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Can you go? Can you go to work?
Speaker 6 (30:38):
Nope?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So you're all right, So you're on a level where
it actually paralyzes you your depression.
Speaker 6 (30:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
And what what pill are you taking? What medicine?
Speaker 6 (30:48):
I take a lot of seconds. One is called remarn
and the other one is called well buttri and I
actually take two.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah. Well, well Buttrian should give you a little perk up,
but it doesn't. It's not so much of an it.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
Tell me honest, I've been taking these long enough that
I want to, well.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Why why don't you take other ones? There were so
many to choose from you. Are you one to the
care of a psychiatrist?
Speaker 6 (31:09):
Yes, I think at this point, because of how long
I've been taking this, I think that I need to
talk to my doctor, because I still don't. I feel
all that I'm not getting better as far is being
able to get out and do.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Right. Obviously not, obviously not. And my heart goes out
to you. But I'll tell you every year is a
lost year. And I you know, I don't want to
depress you further, but I want to give you a
sense you know you may well have it, but I
just want to give you a sense of urgency that
you know there were so many different medications out there
(31:45):
that maybe look, maybe it's it's not doable. I don't know.
And as well as talk therapy anyway, good luck, my friend,
because I do I feel for you on that. Let's
go to someone who claims he can define happiness. That's
that's that's a bold claim. Shall home in Los Angeles, Hello, Shalloam, shalloam,
(32:05):
shall hoam, sell.
Speaker 8 (32:06):
Them Dennis Rabbi, Den Baxley. But you can call me
so them please. I teach classes here in Los Angeles
on happiness and relationships and other things. And I my
thing in general, not so much happiness. But you say
something you can't define, right, And I always stress that
you need to define things otherwise because we can fool
ourselves into thinking that we have something.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
All right, fair enough. What's your definition of happiness?
Speaker 8 (32:31):
Happiness? My definition is the emotional feeling you get when
you focus on and appreciate that which you have or
which you are doing.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
I'm quiet because I'm ruminating over it. It is the
emotional feeling that you have when you focus on what.
Speaker 8 (32:51):
You are doing, that which you have, that what you have,
or that you're what you are doing.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
So for you, happiness is an emotional state.
Speaker 8 (32:59):
I think that is for everyone.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
All right, we'll be back in a moment. We'll continue.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Dennis Prager here and nah, Rabbi Selim and I should
have a long talk on this. And I thank you
for your call. Only because of time, Rabbi, I'm not
continuing on your call, but the I'll tell you the
immediate problem and if you want to email me or
you know, even I would allow you to call again.
You know, even though we try to take different calls
each week. Next week, is that the problem with relying
(33:44):
on an emotional state in any in any event, for
a definition of happiness to me at any rate? Is
that Take the lady who is cleaning her home. The
emotional state while cleaning is not you know, for the
thousandth day in a row, doing the laundry is not
going to necessarily be a happy one. But having having
(34:09):
done it, there is happiness because the family is in
better shape. In fact, if you're still on, are you
still there?
Speaker 7 (34:16):
Yes?
Speaker 8 (34:17):
How do you?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah? Go ahead?
Speaker 8 (34:19):
Certainly. I agree that relying on your emotions will not
determine your happiness if you listen to the definition your
your intellectual your thought process determines your emotions.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
But you gave emotional state is part of your definition?
Speaker 8 (34:35):
Said, yeah, correct, I'll repeat it. It's the emotional feeling
based on your way of thinking when you focus on
and appreciate that what you have or that what you're
doing is a way of thinking. Oh okay, so that
way you think determines your emotions.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
All right, fair enough, Okay, thank you? Because I believe
that that we can't as obviously you now do too,
or have before, and I just didn't hear it correctly.
That's why I say in my book, I appeal to
the mind rather than the emotions. On the issue. All right,
let's see here. You know it's a prolezy in Gordon.
You can do something that makes you happy as you're
(35:11):
doing something you don't like to do. Yes, yes, you can.
In fact, that's why a lot of people listen to
a show like this while they're doing some mundane task.
It's a good example. Or listen to music absolutely and
oh boy, let's see Jennifer and Phoenix. You got a
few seconds. Give it to me.
Speaker 9 (35:30):
Hey, Dennis, happy Friday, Thank you say. I just wanted
to make a quick comment and just let you know that,
you know, in all of my thirty four years of
being an incredibly happy person, the irony of it was
I was very judgmental about people who said they were
depressed and on medication, and I was very judgmental, like,
come on, get it together, because I didn't understand it.
(35:50):
And then I was in a serious accident where I
was burned pretty bad and I had to be on
narcotics for a few months. And part of my experience
with the narcotics is I went through bring chemical highs
and lows and let me tell you something, I get
it now. It is debilitating when you have this chemistry
that goes on when you don't want to leave the house,
(36:10):
you know, you don't want to function. And now I
am a much happier person than I've experienced that. And
then I have compassion and understanding for people who are well.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I am glad. I got to take your Jennifer. How
do you develop empathy? Alan, That's a subject. How do
you develop empathy? How could the thin guy, how can
he empathize with the overweight? How can the beautiful empathize
with the ugly? It's a big question. This has been
the happiness Hour. Don't go away. I'm Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
This has been timeless wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit dennispragger
dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses,
and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.
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