CONFIDENCE 101 FROM THE BUMP & BEYOND ft. MADDIE SOMMERS

Hello.

On this very special episode of Where's Your Bump At?, we are joined by one of my best friend's & confidence coach Maddie Sommers. Maddie is here to talk all things confidence for all women - from finding yourself before pregnancy, having a strong sense of self as a mother and owning your pregnancy. Maddie also gives us a bunch of practical tools for self-love & confidence and please make sure to tune into our next episode dropped at the same time as this, as Maddie is blessing our ears with a meditation for all. 

I loved having Maddie on and asking her these important questions, I hope you get a lot out of this!

All my love

Anna xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wanting to have kids is a huge life decision. But
once you're ready to embark on that journey, what do
you actually need to know? This podcast is the community
you never knew you needed from mums and mums to be.
We're about to embark on this learning journey together and
it's going to be real. It's going to be raw
and a completely non judgmental space. You're listening to Where's

(00:24):
your Bump hat and this is Ana Macavoy Staples. I'm
going to be interviewing experts in the field so that
all of our burning questions can be answered, from understanding
our cycle to knowing what is the best time to conceive,
and so much more. We'll get into the difference between

(00:46):
natural verse c section births, strange pregnancy symptoms and everything
in between. Hello and welcome to another episode of Where's
your Bump At Today. I am joined by my good
friends and manifest with Maddie. Maddie is here today to
help us all find out zen.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Hello, Hello, thanks for having me again.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
So.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Maddie has actually just recorded her ten minute pregnancy meditation,
which also comes out the same time this episode drops,
and I am so zend out right now I can't
even tell.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
You so good. I think we both are. I think
this is going to be a very chill episode because
we've started very zen.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, and your meditation voice is different to your normal voice,
is even liked. I find your normal voice quite relaxing,
but your meditation voice, ooh, it's a whole different level.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Thank you. That's a massive complict.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Also, just a little note that at the end of
this episode, Maddie is actually going to take us through
some techniques to relax and distress. So make sure you
listen to the end of this episode because there's some
really good ones in there. So, Maddie, so good to

(02:10):
have you in the studio with us today.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Thank you. I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
How did you actually get into confidence coaching?

Speaker 2 (02:17):
It sort of fell on me, you know. I think
it comes a lot with my career. So originally, I'm
an actor and I've been a professional actress for over
twelve years now, and within acting you learn so much
about not only confidence, but humans, and I think I
just gained such a huge interest in humans and how

(02:38):
we show up. And I think that interest sort of
led me into confidence coaching and wanting to help women
who feel like they can't show up in a way
that's authentic to themselves. And I think I learn a
lot of that through portraying a lot of different characters
and being around so many different people in so many
different shows, and through the knowledge I got. I just
really wanted to share that with a lot of women

(03:00):
and be able to help a lot of women through that,
because it really is the one thing holding so many
people back is not being able to show up with
confidence and first of all, not even realizing what confidence
is to them as well.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Absolutely, do you find that you through your confidence coaching
work speak a lot to mums and new mums.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, totally. I think one of my huge demographics is
new mums, because I think that's the big struggle, right
It's finding that confidence not only when you are pregnant,
but post pregnancy and becoming a new mum, And it's
all about finding that new identity and that can be
really scary and stressful for a lot of people in
general life, let alone, if you know you've just created

(03:44):
this human, your body's changed and your life has changed,
it's sort of redefining who you are. And I feel
like a lot of women feel lost in that point,
and something I talk a lot about in my coaching
is I relate it back to being on a train,
and it's like, you get on a train at the
start of your life, and you know what train you're on.
You go through all the stops, you go to school,

(04:05):
you get good marks, you go to a good UNI,
you get a good UNI, you get a good job,
and then you find our husband or wife, and then
you're on this train and then all of a sudden,
you're like, wait, who am I? Where am I going?
What is this life? And you feel like you've just
been thrown off the train and you're on the train platform,
and then there's like one hundred different trains coming at
you from all these different directions, and you're like, which

(04:27):
one do I get on? Who am I? Where am
I meant to be going? I'm so lost and there's
no one telling you where to go or what to do,
or who you're meant to be or who you're meant
to show up as. And it's that feeling of being
lost that I think a lot of new mums come
to and not knowing which train to get on all
where to go, and that can lead to so many
insecurities because you look around you and think, well, everyone
else knows what train they're on, and everyone else is

(04:48):
full steam ahead, and you know they're so confident in
the train they're on and who they are and what's
happened to me?

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, it's so interesting hearing you say that. I mean,
I feel like the majority of peop people that I
know hate change. So going into pregnancy and into the
pregnancy journey, it's so much change just thrust upon you,
and it really is about navigating and finding your way
and finding what your new normal is. Like I've said

(05:16):
to Michael as well as having a kid started for
me from the moment I got pregnant, because everything changed.
But for him it's going to happen when the baby comes,
and it's there's so many things to navigate. What would
you say is the most common struggle that mums go
through confidence wise?

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Again, I think it's that identity right is coming to
like who am I now? And I think especially as women,
let me know, if you relate to this, we're so
conditioned like, oh, the normal is finding a husband or
wife and having a baby, like and that's the safe route,
and that's the route we're meant to go down and
that's you know, that's the easy way, because that's how

(05:58):
life is set out for us. And you actually come
to it and you're like, oh my god, now I'm
having your baby and my whole life's meant to change.
This is the normal. This feels like a whirlwind of crazy,
you know. And I think it's coming to that realization
and knowing who you are in that and I think
it's just redefining yourself in that moment and as a
mum and physically and emotionally and with your time as well.

(06:22):
But a lot of that comes into the choice you
make in who you are to and how you view
motherhood and how you view pregnancy, and a lot of
that is conditioned, you know, how you've grown up or
what you've been taught or what you see or what
you're exposed to.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Yeah. I actually saw this really amazing video and I'm
going to play it for all of us to listen
to now. And it's about how mothers lose their pink.
So this has been a trend recently and I just
love it because it just kind of describes what mums
go through. I think we see mums a lot of

(06:58):
the time putting everyone else before them self. So let's
give that video a quick Listen.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Now, do you know this thing about flamingo's how they
lose their color? No? Oh, very interesting. So here's here's
a here's truth. You ever seen a flamingo who's not
as pink as the other ones? Okay, flamingos the lighter pink.
Flamingos are mothers that have children, and so it's the
only animal on the on the planet that God lets
us see how much the woman is depleted while taking

(07:25):
care of other people. Whoa And so a lot of
women don't get their pink back for a long time.
And it's crazy, it's good, it's a Now when you
see bungos, you'll never look at them ever again. Yeah,
Google why does a flamingo lose its pink? And you'll
say it's because the mother gives everything to its child,
gives everything to its husband, gives everything to its its spouse.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Wow. Firstly, what a powerful video. And in some ways
I think flamingos are lucky that they lose their pink
because it's obvious, whereas I feel like, as human beings,
we don't lose any specific thing on our body that
looks different. We don't lose our pink per se, but
we metaphorically lose our pink. What are some ways that

(08:10):
mums can find their pink again after giving birth, after
entering motherhood.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
I want to first comment on what you just said,
and I think it's so true about, you know, the
way we look and we can't be like, Okay, I've
lost all my pink. And especially as women in today's society,
with all the media and everything, we're so conditioned to
look perfect and be like I've got my life together
and I've got my baby, and I've got my Luli
Lemonson and I'm walking around the town. You know, we're

(08:35):
meant to look a certain way and people to see
you and be like, wow, that mum's really got it together.
Like school drop off, she's killing it. And we're so
conditioned to push through and push through and push through.
But there's only so much pushing through you can do
until it crushes down that pink even more and more
and more because you're not living authentically in that moment.

(08:56):
And I think something really good to note is your
pink is going to change from time to time throughout
your whole life. Sometimes your pink is going to be
a hot pink and a pastil pink and a rainbow pink,
like it's gonna be different from time to time, and
I think the main thing is acknowledging that and appreciating
that and being like, it's okay for my pink to
be a bit of a pale pink right now and

(09:17):
for that to look like three day old tractic pants,
and for me to embrace that and know that my
body's just done this incredible, amazing thing. I think the
biggest thing in why women lose too much confidence is
because they keep pushing through trying to have a fake
color pink per se, you know, and having that as
a veil, and nothing's gonna lose your confidence more than that,

(09:39):
because you're not living authentically in that moment. And yes,
we want to live our most confident lives, but sometimes
we're not feeling that way. And that's okay too. It's
okay to stop, it's okay to feel a bit shit
from time to time. It's okay for that to rise
and fall, and that's totally normal. I think what's not
normal or not healthy is pushing through that.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
I could not agree more. I think that, like you said,
we all go through phases and we think that we
need to be pushing through and rocking it and be
this superwoman and doing it all, but it's okay to
actually take some time refocus focus on the baby as well.
I think it's completely normal as someone who is pregnant

(10:21):
to feel a little bit apprehensive about that postpartum period.
What's that going to look like for me? How am
I going to feel? Am I going to be able
to cope? And I know for me sleep is a
big thing, so I'm like, oh my god, I'm going
to be horrible person with no sleep. Yeah. I think
it's just really finding that new normal and not trying
to do too much, like you said, not trying to

(10:43):
take on the world, and just doing what you think
is right and doing intuitively what you feel. I guess. So,
what do you think are some of the ways that
we can find ourselves again after that kind of postpartum period.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
I think the most important thing is knowing that the
person you are is going to change a little bit
from who you were before you were pregnant and you've
had a baby, and that's okay, and coming to terms
with that, like you said, innately, us as human beings
don't want to change. Change is really scary and knowing
that that's okay and that's so valid too, but knowing

(11:23):
that it's okay that things are going to change and
relationships are going to change, relationship with yourself and other
people and with your partner, and that's okay. And so
it's redefining how you see that and coming back to
the pink metaphor as well, really thinking okay, well, what
is my pink? Because if you think about confidence, I
think this is where a lot of people get the

(11:45):
mistakes in terms of what confidence is, because I think
when people think of confidence, they think, okay, a confident
person is the loudest person in the room, who's like
dancing on tables, who's talking to every single person that's
super loud, or an actual fact, sometimes that's the most
insecure person in a room. And confidence is a sense

(12:06):
of freedom and a sense of relaxation when you are
truly in your confidence, Like think Anna, when you felt
the most confident in the world, it's like taking a breath,
It's like walking on air. It's so easy. When you're
feeling confident, things are stress free. You don't have to
try you're not pushing, you're not being super super loud.
And to some people, that sense of freedom is being

(12:29):
really loud, and that's really easy and natural. But for
some people, confidence is sitting back and not saying not
having to say anything at all, and sitting there in
that quiet. And so I think an important thing is
in terms of redefining yourself and coming back to finding
that confidence, I think it's defining. Okay, well, what is
that confidence to me? What does that confidence look like

(12:51):
to me? Because to each person it's completely unique and different,
And that's something I run through with my clients. First
of all, when they say, you know, they're really insecure,
he's okay, Well, what does that feel like to you?
When's the last time you, as a person felt relaxed
and easy and free and happy and joyful. When was
that moment? And for some people that's when they're on

(13:13):
holidays in Europe and they didn't have to worry about
like paying their mortgage and paying their bills every day.
It was just carefree and apross. Sprits is on the beach,
you know, ever, I know heaven? So when is that
for you? And going back to a memory when you
truly felt that and then recognizing, okay, well, what were
the elements that helped me feel that way in that moment,
because it's not just one thing, it's it's what's helping

(13:35):
you get that way, and also what's been taken away?
What are the fears, what are the restrictions, what is
the pressures? What are the pressures that you have been
feeling that got taken away in that point in your
life and acknowledging that. I think that's the first thing
when it comes to finding your confidence is acknowledging what
does it look like to me? When did I last
feel it? And what contributed to that to that feeling

(13:57):
of freedom rather than confidence, because like I feel like confidence,
even though I am a confidence coach, confidence is kind
of a problematic word because it's like, well, what is confidence?
You can be confident in something, Yeah, like I'm really
confident in I don't know, speaking with people, but I'm
not confident when it comes to kicking a football. So

(14:18):
but some people are the exact opposites, and you can
have confidence in things, but being a confident person means
you're in a sense of freedom, in a sense of relaxation.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
There's so many like points that I've thought of them.
I'm like, I need to ask you this whilst we've
been talking. The first one, I think a really great
point you made was that you know, whilst becoming pregnant,
you almost become a somewhat different person to the original
version of you pre pregnancy. And then I think after
the baby is born, we get told often that a

(14:52):
part of you dies or like it feels a little
bit negative to me personally, but yeah, we get told
often that a little part of if you might die
or you know, you're going to be a whole different person.
And that's kind of scary because obviously with your relationship,
I think that's very intimidating because you obviously me and
Michael fran says, we both love each other and we

(15:13):
love the people we are, but are we going to
love the new versions of us when the baby comes?
Then there's also like friends and friendships. How are my
friends going to feel with this new version of me?
Like it's all very scary.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah, totally, Well, how do you think, you know, how
do you feel as someone that's pregnant and going through
that change? Now? What's been helping you get through it?

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Probably not thinking about it. I think in comparison to
a lot of people, I'm not super scared of change.
Just for a little bit of context, growing up, my
family used to move every two to three years to
a different school, different country. So I feel like growing

(15:57):
up I was really it was almost like second nature
to me. So I grew to really love change. And
there is a part of me that I think when
I'm in the same kind of position for a little bit,
I get antsy or a little bit of you know,
itchy feet, and I'm like, I need to do something new.
I want change. So in some ways, pregnancy for me,
I should be thriving, and I feel like I am thriving.

(16:18):
Like I do feel really empowered being pregnant. But again,
like you just never know how having a baby by
your side, maybe twenty four seven, I don't know is
going to impact friendships in your life. And yeah, I
think it's something that I think a lot of pregnant
women are concerned about.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I think it's so great that you brought up your
childhood because that is such an important point to make. Yeah,
because fear always begins in childhood, right, That's where it
all originates, and fear is a lack of control. So
people like, I've got fear, I've got fear, I've got fear.
I'm scared of this, I'm afraid of this. My biggest
fear is this, when in act, the fact your biggest

(17:01):
fear is a lack of control. It all comes down
to control. For example, if your biggest fear is a
fear of heights, you're not actually scared of the twenty
foot building you're standing on top of. You're scared of
losing control if you fall, or losing control of your
limbs when you're falling. If you're scared of getting on
a plane, it's not the fact that the plane is

(17:21):
in the air. It's the fact that you're not in
control if it crashes. You're not driving the plane. Yeah,
if you've got a fear of, you know, public speaking,
it's not the fact that it's the speaking and holding
up a piece of paper and talking. It's that you've
got no control over what people think of you when
you're on.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Stage or if you mess up.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
For Yeah, you've got no control.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
The plane analogy and building analogy were scary.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
I was like, ooh, but it's true though, right, It's
all it all comes down to control. And I think
this relates so heavily with pregnancy because it's out of
your control. Yes, your body is true, your body is
creating this human being and you're doing it. But also
you're not really in control of it. You're not in
control of when the baby gets up, you're not in
control of if your friends change their perception of you.

(18:07):
You're not in control if your partner does or doesn't
like this new version of you. There's so many ways
that when you have a baby, you're losing control. And
this is why so many women have these crisises and
fears and breakdowns and lose so much confidence because they're
just scratching their cloring trying to get back any control
that they can. And that's exhausting, right, trying to get

(18:30):
this control in any way. And so I think it's
really important first of all to note, Okay, what am
I in control of? What am I trying to gain
control of? Because control equals fear. If you're scared of something,
you are not in control of something. If you're fully
in control, you're easy, you're confident, you're relaxed, there's freedom.
So I think the most important thing to note is

(18:51):
that fear and lack of control originate in your childhood. So,
like you said, if you were constantly moving around as
a kid, now you might have a fear of staying
still being in one spot because you don't have control.
Or maybe if you're a child and you put up
your hand in class and you get shut down and

(19:13):
everyone laughs at you, you don't have control over what
other people are thinking. And now in adult life you
put your hand down, you never speak up for yourself
because you're scared of what other people will think. You
don't have control of what they're thinking. It's this lack
of control and feeling of helplessness that always started in
your childhood. So the most important thing to do, especially
when those big fears are popping up in pregnancy, whether

(19:34):
it's you know, change or not change, or the level
of fear that it is, always look back and go, Okay,
did this originate somewhere when I was younger, And it's
really important to locate that too.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Yeah, it actually does remind me a friend of mine
who was pregnant. She said to me that for the
first eight weeks after the baby was born, she was
so afraid to leave the house. She felt like she
became super antisocial. S She's the most social person ever.
By the way, she was like, I didn't want to
communicate with anyone. She's like, I forgot how to communicate

(20:06):
with people. I hadn't seen anyone except my husband and
my baby in eight weeks, and she was like it
was almost like coming back out into the real world.
It was like this real scary time for her. What
do you say to people who feel a similar way postpartum.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
I think the first thing to do is stop and
acknowledge that that's okay and what you're feeling is so valid,
instead of going like I said, clawing at the control
and being like, okay, well, I have to push myself
out there and what I'm feeling is wrong and why
am I feeling this way? And you know why am
I antisocial? And no one else feels this way? Stopping
And I think that's something as mums, especially people feel

(20:46):
so guilty in doing there's such guilt in stopping, and
there's such mum guilt in taking time for yourself, and
there is so much power in stopping. Like if you
think of nature and the seasons, for example, there's you know,
summer where everything's happening, and then spring and then winter
where everything stops. If you think of the tides, they

(21:06):
come in and they go out. If you think of
the sun and moon, they stop, like everything happens. The
leaves grow and then they fall from the tree. Everything
stops in nature, and nature's the most powerful thing in
the world, right, so we are part of that as well.
And there is so much power in stopping and in
finding the pause and in finding the stop, and it's

(21:27):
actually going to make you a better person and a
better mother and a more powerful worker. If you're not pregnant,
or you know, if pregnancy isn't your main thing, or
you know, whatever it is, it's stopping is so powerful.
It's the most important thing you can do. And when
I teach women on their monthly cycles and through menstruation,
we're so conditioned to just keep pushing through and pushing

(21:49):
through and pushing through, just like pregnant mums are. But
in actual fact, if you stop during your menstruation, then
you're going to be so much more powerful during summer,
during your ovulation. So it's the same thing. If you
find yourself stopping during the first eight weeks, stop be
with your baby, make yourself antisocial. There's no one way

(22:09):
that it should be done or one way that it
shouldn't be done. Stop. Find power in the stopping. People
who love you will understand, people who love you will
be there for you. After eight weeks, you know it's
okay to do that, and then coming out of that,
find confidence in knowing that, Okay, I'm allowed to stop.
I'm allowed to think about who I want to be
when I turn up. And you don't have to just

(22:30):
come out and be like, okay, well, I'm only going
to rise into society once, you know, a full blown, blossomed,
confident woman. Take it day by day and some days,
you know, maybe you do want to go out and
see people, and some days you don't. And that's the cycle.
We are cyclical people, especially women. We live in cycles.

(22:51):
And it's okay for one week to be really social
and the next week you don't want to see or
talk to anyone, you don't want to pick up your phone.
That's okay, it's actually normal, it's actually healthy. It's what's
going to make you thrive more when your body is
wanting to thrive.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
I love that. I think that's so powerful, and I
definitely think we need to normalize the stopping. I think
definitely for pregnant mums, but especially for postpartum mothers as well.
The stopping is just so important. In fact, in traditional
Chinese culture, they actually take forty days after the child
is born as a period of rest and recovery for

(23:27):
the new mum. It's known as sitting the month. So
very interesting and definitely something that I think more of
us should get around. I know that when our baby comes,
I want to really take some time. Michael has a
month off of work for his maternity leave, and we
are just going to bond with the baby and connect
and just you know, be in a little bit of

(23:49):
a love bubble.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
And that's allowed. And I feel like within the first
month of having a baby, I feel like so many
people are like, I want to come over and see
the baby and come out with your baby and bring
here and bring there and do that and do that,
and you know, post the baby and do this. But
I've had a lot of friends recently as well, go, okay,
we're not bringing any family or friends into the hospital.
We're having the first week. You know, if you're private

(24:10):
or public or whatever, but we're having the first week
in that hospital with just us and no one can
come in. And I've had some family members of them
be like, oh, well, that's not right, I want to
come and see the baby or you know, but actually
it's okay, You're allowed to do that. You've been through
your body has been put through so much stress, not
even through labor, but through nine months of creating something

(24:32):
and taking just a week. And that's why it's so
clear when people feel guilty of like not doing stuff
or not being somewhere, because there's there's added pressure too
of like family and friends going well can we see it?
Or can we do or what are you doing? Or
you know, yeah, And I think it's so important to
know like actually, you're in control. You get to decide.
This is your body, this is your baby, this is
your life.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Well, let's talk about people pleasing during pregnancy and when
the baby is born, because I think that people pleasing
is so damaging in some ways to the mum because
the mum does need to really be selfish and the
husband needs to put the mum first, because the mum,
I think, should be the number one priority because if

(25:23):
the mum's happy, then the baby's happy, and then the
family's happy, and it's just like this ongoing little train
of happiness, Whereas I feel like if the mum's stress,
it just has a complete effect on the whole system.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
I think people pleasing is really important as well, because again,
people pleasing is a fear, and people pleasing comes back
to a fear of being disliked or a fear of failure.
That's people pleasing because you know, if people aren't pleased,
then you're not liked and you're cut out of the tribe,
which is something to do with our reptilian brain. And

(26:00):
we were cavemen. We have the same brain as we
do now, and that brain means, you know, if you're
not in the tribe, if you don't have a role
like hunting and gathering or building the huts or whatever
it is, then you're kicked out of that tribe. You
are physically kicked out, which means you're alone, which means
you can't defend yourself against literally the line sigers and
bess oh my, you know like and we still have

(26:20):
that brain. And so today when you know we don't
please someone or someone's disappointed in us, our brain is
the same, So our brain goes I'm going to die.
We go into fight or flight, and we have that
same bodily response as if we're about to get eaten
by a bear, except we're not going to get eaten
by a bear anymore, but we've still got that brain.
So it's really important to condition yourself and to realize

(26:42):
that and train yourself in knowing that you're okay and
you're not going to die, and these things are all
right and people pleasing as well, especially in motherhood, is
really important to know that. Okay, like I said before,
where is this come from? Where is the fear? Where
is the lack of control?

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Okay, let's pivot. Let's talk about the pregnancy glow. We've
heard it a million times. There's often pressure to have
this pregnancy glow. What would you say to women who
don't feel like they're living up to that image?

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Well, this is so hard. I think we've spoken about
this before, because you know, there's this huge stigma of like, oh, well,
you know, pregnant women have this glow and you're meant
to look a certain way during pregnancy, and you're meant
to be one with the baby, on one with yourself
and have this glow. But if you're not feeling that way.
You know, you're literally growing a human being. Like there

(27:39):
is so much power in the stopping and not feeling
that way. And I know that you experienced a lot
of this too at the beginning of your pregnancy, and
because you are, you know, a public figure on online
a lot, how did you go with that and some
of the trolls.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah, I mean it was definitely quite shocking. I think
I was saying to you before I wears viewed pregnancy
and pregnant women as so beautiful and it's this incredible
time and it's magical and it's wonderful. And I think
the first time I got trolled for being pregnant, I
was three months pregnant and I was at a wedding

(28:17):
and I had a dress on and you could see
a little bit of a bump, and people knew I
was pregnant, but I was just getting she's got a
pot belly, she shouldn't wear that dress. You know, she
looks fat, she's put away all of this kind of
very negative talk. And I think, especially at the beginning
stages of pregnancy, like I was excited to have a bump.

(28:38):
I was like, I barely had a bump, but I
had like a little something and I was like, oh,
he's there, and it was exciting, and I think it
really just dimmed that light a little bit. And then
I thought about it, and you know, I decided to
speak up on it because I was like, well, you know,
as someone with a platform, I want to make it
really known and really crystal clear that I do not

(29:00):
accept this and I will not accept it. And I've
even said on my social media like I do not
agree with mum shaming, and if you're going to mum
shame me, I'm going to block you. And so I've
been quite lucky in saying that. I did get trolled
when I was on my baby moon because I was
wearing a bikini and there was a guy who was,

(29:21):
you know, doing the whole vomit emojis and saying pregnant
women should never wear bikinis. It looks terrible, and you know,
it's not something that really gets under my skin. But again,
I really wanted to make a point of talking about
it because it's not right, it's not okay, and pregnant

(29:41):
women are beautiful. It's not disgusting to see a pregnant
woman in a bikini. It's natural, beautiful, and women shouldn't
have to hide their pregnancy. I think in our parents' generation,
a lot, you know, there was a lot of hiding
the bump and hiding it until it was unhideable, essentially,
and I just love it. These days, how it's more

(30:03):
of a free the bump scenario. People wear their bumps out,
and I've had people comment about me wearing my bump out,
just like having a short top on where you can
see the bottom of my bump, like you can now.
When I was at the nailshole on the other day,
the woman said, you should cover up your belly. The
baby's gonna get cold. It's like, the baby's fine, it's

(30:25):
twenty five degrees outside.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
He'll be okay.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
He's fine. But you know, like looks and that's okay.
I'm okay without I feel super empowered being pregnant. I
feel really empowered. I feel like my body is doing
this incredible thing. And yeah, there's been times of insecurity,
but I've always pushed that to the side as soon
as I felt that, because, as I said, I've always

(30:50):
viewed pregnant women as just magical, glorious unicorn creatures. But
I do understand and know that not everyone feels that way.
In fact, majority of people might not feel positive and
confident in their pregnant or changing bodies. It is a lot.
It's crazy, like we're looking at my bump before and

(31:11):
it's she's there. She's there, like she's like fully popping.
So I guess my question for you is how can
pregnant women feel more confident during their pregnancy with all
the changes going on?

Speaker 2 (31:26):
I love this question, and a lot of the things
that I want to say about this you've kind of
mentioned too. I think the biggest thing that I tell
my clients, not even just pregnant clients, is you have
the choice. How do you view it? It's your identity.
And yes, this is a projection a lot on how
you're raised, how you're conditioned, what your belief system is,

(31:47):
what your values are. But at the end of the day,
you can change all of those things. It is your view,
it's your identity, it's your choice. And then analogy I
love to use is, you know, when I have clients
that really care what people think of them, even pregnant
clients who care what other people think of how they
look or their pregnancy glow or postpartum. You know, and

(32:08):
I always give an analogy of Okay, if you're walking past,
like a group of women and you're out interac and
they're sitting down at a cafe with their affrol spirits,
and you walk past and they'll look at you, you
have two choices. You can either think, oh my God,
they think I'm disgusting, they think I'm hideous, I look terrible.
They're all talking about me, they're all laughing at me.

(32:28):
Or you can say they all think I am God's gift, God,
I'm killing it. They could not stop talking about how
good I am. I'm incredible. You don't know what they're thinking.
You're never gonna know what they're thinking. And even if
you ask them what they're thinking, it's a roundabout whirlwind
projection of something that maybe five percent they may be

(32:49):
thought of. Once you have no idea, the only person
that gets to choose is you. You get to choose
how you feel during pregnancy. You get to choose how
you walk out into the world. You get to even
choose what other people think of you. You get the choice.
So the first thing is knowing, Okay, how do I
view this? Because at the end of the day, it's

(33:11):
not how other people are viewing me, because that's just
a projection of their insecurities, their fears, how they feel
out of control in life. That's nothing to do with you.
The only thing to do with you is where you're
in control, and when you're in control, it's how you
view it. So what's your projection of pregnancy? Because if
you're going, oh my god, everyone thinks I'm gross, they

(33:31):
don't think you're gross. There's something within you that thinks
you're gross. So that's the first thing that's to come
to and go, okay, well what is that? And it's
not about going like, oh my god, I hate this,
I think I'm gross. Of course it's me. It always
comes back to me find empowerment in that and go
oh okay, now I'm curious. It's like, you know, puzzle
or okay, well, where did that come from? And where
did that insecurity come from? And did something happen or

(33:54):
you know, was my mum raised in that way and
that's what conditioned into me or maybe I heard a
statement when I was younger that has stayed with me
and made me thought of that. What does it become
curious about your life, about your beliefs, about your values,
about why you feel a certain way, because there's a way,
there's a there's something within you, Anna that you're like, well,
when someone says something like that, it doesn't really bother
me because it's not part of your belief system. For example,

(34:17):
if someone like to me was if someone said to me, Maddie,
your blue hair is disgusting. It does not suit you.
You look gross. That wouldn't I wouldn't even bat an
eyelid because I don't have blue hair. You know, it's
just it's not true for me, not true at all.
So if someone says to me, oh, Maddie, your blonde
hair looks bad on you, but I know for a

(34:38):
fact I love my blonde hair. I know it looks
good on me, doesn't bother me. For you, Anna, if
someone's like, oh, you know, gross, pregnant women shouldn't be
in bikinis, but you're like, a, hell no, pregnant look good.
Yeah I look good. Pregnant women are empowering, they look amazing.
That's your belief system. So that's what's going to give
you confidence. That's what's going to turn you around. You
don't you're not going to bat an eyelid. So it

(35:00):
all comes back to what are your beliefs, what are
your projections, and becoming curious about where they come from,
and then learning to transform them. As soon as you
sort of know what they are and where they form
and take ownership of them. That's ninety percent of the
work done because then you're like, oh, okay, I know
where this is. And this isn't about getting down on
myself or being like, oh of course, It's about becoming
curious about yourself, take initiative, take ownership of your life,

(35:24):
and go, okay, how can I feel more empowered? And
if I don't feel this way, how can I change
my views? How can I change my beliefs? And it's
about you know, how you talk to yourself, and there's
a billion different ways that once you figure that out,
you can start to change that belief system. You know,
things like your affirmations that you say to yourself, or
listing things that you see or listing things that you

(35:46):
love about yourself. There's a bunch of different ways you
can do it, but the most important thing is to
go where is this come from? What's my belief system?
Because it's all just a projection. Now you get to
choose what you think of you.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
It's so funny because I it must have been a
couple of months ago and I was walking down on
the street where we record this podcast. It's quite a
main road in the city, and there was this guy
who just turned the corner and he obviously saw me
immediately and looked at my bump, and my bump was out,

(36:17):
and it was one of the first times I had
worn it worn it out, and he went ugh with
his hands up. He was so intense, and I just
smiled because I was like, I think I've caught him Brioche, like,
no one's everyone given me that reaction before. It was
a lot, and it was literally as he was looking

(36:39):
at my baby bump. And it's funny because I remember
after getting into my car and it was post a
post record, and then I remember thinking, maybe I shouldn't
wear my bump out, Maybe that was a lot for
this guy. And then of course, my obviously my normal
belief system kind of kicked in and I was like,

(37:01):
it's fine. It's one older guy. He's had a very
adverse reaction to my baby bump, but he'll get over it.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
You can see how easy it is for your belief
system to be shaken though, right yeah, sure, like someone
doing or like or getting trolled on the internet, Like
you can see how easily it is for your belief
system to be shaken up. And that's okay too.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
I think it's all about self talk as well. Like
you said, if there's if you're walking past, then there's
a group of women and you're like, are they you know,
what are they saying about me?

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Is it positive?

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Is it negative? What do we need to do with
our self talk? How can mums begin to change that
inner dialogue when they aren't feeling like the best, most
confident versions of themselves.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
So there's a few things you can do. Have you
ever heard of power posers? No, this woman came up
with power posers, and it's about standing in front of
a mirror and taking up as much space as possible
as like a superman pose, like think of like Wonder
Woman or a superman and standing in front of the
mirror with that pose tricks your brain into thinking that

(38:08):
you are more powerful than you feel in that moment,
which is really cool. It does some type of neuro
thing and it tricks you into thinking that you're taking
up more space. When you see yourself in that position,
it changes the way you feel about yourself, which is crazy,
and it really does work just like posture does you
know if you walk down the street with your shoulders

(38:29):
turned in and your head down, you're just not going
to feel as confident as you do if your posture changes.
That's just a really easy thing to do. And then
another thing to do is affirmation, So something you can
add on with the power pose, look in the mirror
and say the affirmation out loud and actually mean it,
because a lot of the time, I think affirmations is
such a hype word at the moment, like affirmation and affirmation,

(38:51):
and people just wake up and go I am strong,
I am brave, I am great. Yeah you know, but
it doesn't actually feel like anything to you, or they
feel repeatedive, or it's just words. I think coming back
and using affirmations in a more powerful way so you
can use it as looking at yourself in the mirror
when you're doing a power pose and saying an affirmation
then but then not forgetting to attach a feeling to it.

(39:13):
So for example, if mine was I am confident, you
know I when I say I am confident. I'm not
just saying the words. I'm thinking back to a time
when I felt confident. So I am confident, and I'm
thinking back to a time I was on stage and
I nailed a scene, you know, and I'm like, damn,
I am confident. And even now I'm like, ah, I
feel so good. You know, it takes over your body,

(39:36):
you feel it in your soul. If you marry that
with doing a power pose. Those are the types of
things you can do. But then again, you know, getting
there's the bigger things like getting a coach or going
to therapy and working out those belief systems and changing
those thought processes. Those are the bigger things to do,
but smaller things are those self talk and power poses.
And yeah, you're in a talk as well. When you're

(39:56):
with people so changing, you know, everyone that meets me
falls in love with me. I love it. And people
are gonna be like, oh, that's so self centered. No, girl,
it's not. It's amazing, you know, like have that level
of confidence where you're like, yes, people love to see this.
People love to see me. When I go out on stage,
for example, and I'm like, oh god, I'm a bit
shaky about this performance. I just think in my head,

(40:18):
everyone in that audience thinks I am the greatest actor
they've ever seen. They think I'm hilarious, and then I
come on stage with that energy and they have no
choice bit to feel that way. You know. It's the
same with everyday life. And that's why I've been able
to marry confidence coaching and acting so much, because it
really comes down to that of Okay, fake it till

(40:38):
you make it. I hate that word fake it, so
I instead I say act it and attract it. If
you act in a way that's like you're confident, then
you will attract that level of confidence. If you show
up and go not, I am so confident, even if
you feel like you're faking it. If you show up
with that level, you know you stand in a way
that's confident. You act in a way that you choose

(41:00):
what people think of you, You will have no choice
but for people to be like, well, that girl is confident.
And the more you do that, the more you practice it,
the more you act it, the more people will start
treating you that way. And the more you'll feel it
and become it and just be it, you will be
that level of confidence you will be that person.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
Speaking of confidence, we did promise our listeners some techniques.
So I want to ask you a question. Let's just
say that you're feeling like you're about to spiral. What
is a good way to bring yourself back in that moment.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
So doctor Jill Balti Taylight is a neuroscientist and I
absolutely love her. There are so many neuroscientists I love
because they do so much work around, you know, transforming
your brain and your belief system. And she has this
amazing thing called the ninety second emotional rule. And this
is something I tell all my clients about and it
really is the secret source, and I think everyone should
know about, even if you're in schools. So when something happens,

(42:05):
when you're in a moment of distress or feeling something
negative or negative energy, like someone says something bad to
you on the internet. You know, you read a bad comment,
or you walk past a group of girls and you
think they're saying something bad. Your body feels at first.
Antonio Dimasio did all of these studies through Harvard where
they conducted the electrocurrency through the brain, and they realized

(42:26):
that your body feels things before your mind does, which
is wild because we often think like something negative happens
and my mind goes crazy and then my body takes over.
They've actually done all these studies and realized that it's
your body that feels things before your mind does. So
when your body feels something, it releases a stress cortisol,
and that stress cordosol goes through your body, and that

(42:46):
again going back to that caveman, that reptilian brain, it goes, okay,
there's a bear there, there's a lion there, and it
gives you all of this energy and all of these
feelings within your body to go into fight or flight,
to fight the lion or not fight the lion. And
in that ninety seconds, you have the choice. You can
either choose to continue spiraling or you can choose to

(43:08):
locate that and stop it in its tracks. You have
the choice because after that ninety second window, the stress
cortisol stops and it's your mind that's taken over.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Wow, so we go.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Oh, no, I'm just still stressing. I'm just still stressing. No, No,
you've chosen to say stressing. You've chosen to let that spiral,
because after ninety seconds, the stress cortisol is gone. It's
not your body having that response, it's not your mind
having that response anymore. It's you. You've made the choice
to keep freaking out about something or thinking worst case scenario.
So you've got a ninety second window where you can

(43:40):
choose to either let that manifest into something bigger, or
you can choose to stop it in its tracks and go, no,
I'm not going to let this manifest into something crazy whirlwind,
because we've all become a victim to a spiral once
in our life.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Times every day, you know, where we let.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Things spiral and then we go crazy, and then you know,
it's two hours later and you're on I finds your
best friend freaking out and crying because you can't get
out of this feeling of yucky anxiety. Yeah, you know.
So within that ninety second there's some things you can
do to locate where that stress is coming from and
stop it in its tracks. And the first thing you
can do is locate where it is in your body. So,

(44:17):
for example, Anna, when something bad happens to you, like
you read a negative comment or something really stresses you out,
where do you feel it in your body?

Speaker 1 (44:24):
I think my tummy like my tummy will drop.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. For me, I get like
a bit dizzy in my head and my palms become
sweat become a sweat. For some people they cry immediately,
or for some people they get a headache off. Some
people get that they get floods in their chest. You know,
it happens differently for everyone, And I think it's really
important to go Okay, something bad's happened. I know this

(44:49):
feeling here it is, this is the stress cortisol. This
is my body having the response stop the time of
ninety seconds. There's a ninety second window I get to
choose now it started. So the first thing is knowing that,
because I think we just go, oh god, I'm stressed.
My body feels weird. Now my mind feels weird, and
blah blah blahlah blah. So I think the first thing
is locating where it is in your body and acknowledging
that and going okay, so I've got ninety seconds now

(45:12):
to stop that and to put your nervous system back
into order. So things you can do are hugging someone
for ninety seconds. That's been proven to be the most
the best thing you can do.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Here.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Another thing you can do is move your body, so
doing exercise, so depending on where you.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
Are, literally set your star jumps.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yeah, literally set your time up for ninety seconds and
just do star jumps or get up and move leave
the space that you're in. Another thing you can do
is put your feet on the earth, like feeling rounded
in the earth.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
Love that.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
And then just breathing exercise so like box breathing or
deep breathing, just to bring yourself back hijacket, you know,
hijack that window where your mind wants to take over
and let you spiral and continue on and on and on.
You've got ninety second window, which is so cool and
so liberating to know that's like, actually, I'm in control
because after that ninety seconds, it's up to me, I

(46:04):
have the choice.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
I love that, and I think it's definitely something that
we can all implement into our lives. And it's just
I think knowledge is power at the end of the day.
And even just knowing that everyone who's just listened to
you tell us about that ninety second we can almost
be on It's almost it's funny. When you were talking
about it, I almost felt that drop of my stomach like, oh, yeah,
are we stressed?

Speaker 2 (46:25):
It's something happening.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
But I'm like, no, we're all good. I don't need
to do a fifty star jumps or okay, last one
because I know that you're very busy. What is the
tapping technique? Can you take us through a little tapping
session to sign us off?

Speaker 2 (46:42):
So tapping is a form of energy healing. It's something
I do a lot in my programs. I love tapping
and I think a lot of people really benefit. So
if you don't know what tapping is, it's energy healing.
It's a mix of ancient Chinese acupressure and modern day acupuncture.
It's like we have meridians running through our entire body,
and meridians are energetic pathways and they cross over all

(47:03):
our bodies and there's we have hundreds and thousands of them,
and where they'll cross over in the middle of our
bodies is actually our chakras. But that's, you know, something
for another day. But these meridians have end points that
end on our skin, like some that are really prominent,
these meridians. And if you tap on a meridian end
point while speaking something negative or positive, it rewires the

(47:26):
neuropathways within your body and rewires your nervous system to
feel the opposite way of what you are. So if
you're feeling really stressed, you can do this tapping and
tap on these particular points on your face, on your
body where these meridian endpoints are, and it literally changes
your nervous system. It rewires your thought patterns into thinking
something differently. Wow, And there has been so many crazy

(47:49):
things that tapping has done. There's been people that have
had chronic pain, you know, within their body for upwards
of fifteen years, and they've done a tapping session for
chronic pain and it's gone away. And they've done these
through live sessions. I've had clients go through it. You
can do it for kids, you know I have. I
used to have a big, big fear of flying, and

(48:09):
when ever I'm on a plane, I run through a
tapping session and it drops dramatically my anxiety. So it's
something you can do anywhere as well. You know, you
don't need to just whack your face, you know, in
the middle of anywhere. There's meridian endpoints on your fingers
as well. So I can run you through a really
quick tapping recipe.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Please that would be amazing.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
So usually when you start the tapping recipe, you want
to go on the karate chop. So where on the
side of your hand of your where your pinky is
and on the side of your hand there you're just
going to tap there. And when you do the tapping,
you want it to be quite firm, but you don't
want to be hurting yourself. You know, you want to
be able to feel it. And then the rhythm of
the tapping is that you don't want it too fast

(48:51):
and you don't want it too slow.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
How many fingers are we doing the tapping.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
With, so it's really up to you, and the order
of the tapping sequence is totally up to you as well.
Completely you know, no matter what you're hitting, it's going
to be working. As long as you're hitting those meridians.
You can do the same place if you want to,
you can do different ones. So how many fingers is
up to you. So on the side of my hand,
I like to use a lot, but when I come
to my temples, I use two. When I come under

(49:16):
my nose, I use the side of my hand. It
really just whatever feels comfortable for you, you got it.
So the side of your hand. This is the karate chop.
So this is the startup statement, so you can just
repeat after me. And while I'm tapping, I'll lead you
through where we're tapping on the body. Even though I
feel stressed.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
Even though I feel stressed.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
I unconditionally love and support myself.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
I unconditionally love and support myself.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Even though I don't feel confident.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
Even although I don't feel confident.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
I unconditionally love and support myself. I unconditionally love and
support myself. Perfect. And now I'm going to go up
into your face. So I'll just instead of guiding you
through every single point because it might get a bit
too hard to understand, I'll just take you through the temple,
under your eye, under your nose, and under your lip.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
So first I want to start with the temple.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Is it both sides or just one?

Speaker 2 (50:11):
You can do both sides, It's up to you. I
feel stressed, I feel stressed, I feel anxious.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
I feel anxious.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
I'm unsure.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I'm unsure.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
I feel stressed, I feel stressed. I feel lost.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
I feel lost.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I'm unsure.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
I'm unsure.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
I feel like I might be spiraling.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
I feel like I might be spiraling.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
I feel anxious.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
I feel anxious.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
My tummy is dropped.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
My tummy is dropped.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
I feel dizzy.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
I feel dizzy.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
I feel flotters in my tummy.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Feel flotters in my tummy.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
I feel anxious.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
I feel anxious.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
But what if I feel confident?

Speaker 1 (51:10):
But what if I feel confident?

Speaker 2 (51:13):
What if I feel empowered?

Speaker 1 (51:15):
What if I feel empowered?

Speaker 2 (51:19):
I'm in control, I'm in control. I love myself.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
I love myself.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
I choose what I think of myself.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
I choose what I think of myself.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
Everyone that meets me falls in love with me.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
Everyone that meets me falls in love with me. I
am amazing, I am amazing.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
I am strong. I am strong, I am powerful.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
I am powerful. I am brave, I am brave. My
body was made for My body was made for this.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
I am in control.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
I am in control.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
I am unstoppable.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
I am unstoppable.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
I feel amazing.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
I feel amazing.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Nothing can stop me now.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Nothing can stop me now.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
My body was made for this.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
My body was made for this.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
I am confident.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
I am confident. I am brave, I am brave.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
I'm capable.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
I am capable.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
I love myself.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
I love myself.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
You can shake it out. That feels good. So within
tapping like you can do, it's completely up to you
the dialogue you use. You know, sometimes if you just
want to say, over and over, I feel stressed, I
feel stressed, I feel stressed, I feel stressed. The important
thing is for it to be in your language.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
So if if I run through a tapping session with
my client, first of all, I'd get everything that they're
feeling in their own words, and then i'd have them
repeat after me their words that they've already told me. Yeah,
you know, so it's important that you use your own
words and start with the negative and then turn it
into positive. So start by going I'm stressed, what if
the plane goes down? Oh god, I don't like this,

(53:19):
into going I'm safe, I'm chilling. Yeahl they fly these
planes every day. And then tapping on that while saying
these statements is sending a message to your brain that's
transforming those feelings and shifting your nervous system.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yeah, it's actually really interesting that you have spoken about
this because I was actually listening to this song. It's
by Logic, who is a rapper, and he has this
song called one eight hundred two seven three eight, two
five five, and it features Alessier, Kara and Khalid and
it's basically this song that they made for people who

(53:56):
were depressed or suicidal.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
And it starts the It's so interesting because it's the
song starts by saying, and I know that this is
like a little bit off course, but the song starts
by saying like I want to die because it's someone
who's suicidal, and then the next verse is like do
I have to die? And then the last verse is
like I don't want to die? And I love the song.

(54:20):
It's an amazing song and I think what they did
with that song is incredible. And the title of the
song is the Suicide Prevention Hotline. But I think they're
doing the tapping mechanism or technique. It sounds like that
that's what they're doing. Yeah, So yeah, it's just like
a very interesting thing because I think initially, when you
think of the tapping method, you think, is that counterintuitive

(54:43):
because you're saying all of your negative thoughts. I was
like immediately when we started doing it, because I've never
done it before, I'm like, am I manifesting that I'm stressed?
I don't want to do that I'm trying to be
at peace. But it's interesting because it kind of takes
you through that evolution and it's acknowledging the totally and
then moving them.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
And you know, you use tapping, and tapping is most
successful when you're in that moment. So for example, us
saying it now, probably you know you're like, oh, wait,
I don't feel this. I don't feel this. But if
you are in a moment of stress, so for example,
if you're going through Brax and Hicks contractions and they're
stressing you out, you could go, I'm feeling stressed. My
tummy saw, I'm not feeling good. You know, you're saying

(55:23):
you're labeling the things that you're feeling at that moment.
Just like you said, it's acknowledging how you're feeling instead
of masking it over like I've been saying this whole time,
you want to acknowledge it and be at peace with
that and acknowledge it and you know, validate that as
well and go I feel this, I feel this, I
feel this before you then transform it because otherwise you're
masking something. Yeah, you know, and to rewire those thought patterns,

(55:46):
you have to say the negative thing as well.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Yeah, love it.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
That's so cool. I love that that's in the song.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Yeah, you have to go listen to it, guys, go
listen to that song after. Do you have anything that
you want to leave any mums listening with today if
they just had to remember one thing from this conversation.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
What would that be? I think the main thing is
two things. There's power in stopping. Remember that nature stops,
everything stops. Find power in that, not guilt, you know,
validation in that. And then also you have the choice.
You get to choose what confidence looks like. You get
to choose what pregnancy looks like to you. You get

(56:23):
to choose how you show up. And there's not one
way that pregnancy or motherhood looks. It's completely up to you.
You get to choose, and you get to choose what
people think of that as well. It's up to you.
You're in control.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Maddie. Thank you so much. Guys, make sure that you
save Maddie's ten minute pregnancy meditation she has recorded for
all of us. I'm going to be saving and listening
to it on repeat throughout the rest of my pregnancy. Maddie,
thank you so much for coming in. It's been a
pleasure and I'm going to put all of your links
down below for your socials and your confidence coaching courses.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Thank you so very much for having me. It's pain
an absolute blossom

Speaker 3 (57:11):
Mm hmm