August 26, 2024 • 47 mins
This week on the podcast, we’re finishing our series on Enneagram Subtypes with Types 8, 9, and 1.
What Are Enneagram Subtypes?
Enneagram subtypes are components of the Enneagram system, which divides each type into three subtypes, based on our primary instinctual drive:
- Self-Preservation: Focuses on personal safety, health, and comfort.
- Social: Prioritizes group dynamics, social standing, and community relationships.
- One-to-One (Sexual): Emphasizes deep connections and one-on-one relationships.
These subtypes influence how each Enneagram type expresses itself, leading to 27 unique subtype personalities.
Tune in to explore the nuances of these Enneagram subtypes with me!
Thank you to our guest:
Adam Breckenridge - https://myenneagramcoach.com/coach/adam-breckenridge/
We have many more amazing Enneagram for Moms resources at www.enneagramformoms.com.
FREE Download of All 29 Instinctual Subtypes - https://drive.google.com/file/d/12Ip8OlCKG9iHrlqrcGPHMbkigyxiWbe3/view?usp=sharing
FREE Enneagram resources here: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/podcastresources
Find an Enneagram Coach - https://myenneagramcoach.com/
Become an Enneagram Coach Course - https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/bec
#Enneagram #PersonalityTypes #EnneagramCoach
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeff (00:00):
Hey, everyone.
(00:00):
I'm Jeff McCord, co founder andCEO of your Enneagram coach.
So delighted that you're here.
I am joined today with ourdirector of coaching, Adam
Breckenridge.
Mr Breckenridge.
Great to be with you again.
Adam (00:17):
you, Mr.
McCord.
I've really enjoyed, um, hangingpodcast, and we're going to be
doing that.
Yeah.
For a few weeks now, moving
Jeff (00:26):
being a man that's in kind of rural, Arkansas and kind of
isolated from people doing yourArkasonian type things.
What's it like to connect withthe bigger world around you?
I
Adam (00:45):
to connect with, uh, a little piece of God's country
Jeff (00:50):
you're, you're, your room there is kind of like a cabin.
Like, are you kind of a nomad,uh, isolated and
Adam (00:59):
You know, it's funny.
It's funny.
Everybody that I meet with, youknow, when I meet with our
coaches or I meet with, youknow, anybody, they're always
like, Are you in a, are you likein a cabin or a retreat center
or what is this place?
And, and I'm like, this is, sowe bought this house two years
ago.
It's clear that when this housewas built, this room was
intended to be some kind oflike, um, I think a man cave,
(01:21):
uh, I think is what it wasintended to be.
And, and so I have threedaughters, as you know, and, um,
And none of them, none of themwanted this room.
And so I said, you know, this isgoing to be my office.
And so it's not, uh, it's notthe, I'm not in the attic.
Jeff (01:38):
office.
Yeah,
Adam (01:44):
a bedroom.
There's a closet, there's awindow.
The walls are insulated.
Sometimes people are like, isthis like the attic?
And I'm like, no, dude, it'snot.
I'm not, I'm not stuck in the,nobody puts baby in the attic.
This is my office.
(02:04):
Oh,
Jeff (02:05):
I don't I just can't imagine Does anybody call you
baby?
Does your wife call you baby?
What's your pet nickname?
What's your husband name,
Adam (02:16):
Uh, you know, sometimes you might go with honey, just,
yeah, just honey, just honey.
Uh, I
Jeff (02:23):
to think I don't think Beth has a nickname for me.
I mean people probably haveheard me called Beth Bethy
That's her nickname or sweetieI'm not sure if Beth actually
has a nickname for me, but I Youcan't put baby in the attic.
Adam (02:38):
Nobody puts baby in the attic.
And I just hope
Jeff (02:41):
Is that a move?
Is that a live from a movie?
Adam (02:43):
oh, you bet it is.
In fact, I'd love for, if you'relistening to this episode, I'd
love for you to go to thecomment section right now and
tell us what movie referencethat is.
Um, tell us what I'm, cause I'm,I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna
say, I'm gonna let our audiencetell you what movie reference
that is.
Yeah.
Jeff (03:05):
us for the past three episodes, um, we've been talking
about the subtypes, but, um,Beth is actually, uh, our
fearless leader, Enneagramexpert, the Yoda that made it
all.
Um, she is on sabbatical afterjust a, an amazing run.
She's going to take a little bitof a break.
Um, and so Adam and I, um, I'mnot sure, you know, the phrase
(03:30):
when the cat's away the mice areat play, you know, I, uh, I
gotta admit, uh, The commentsthat could potentially happen on
our episodes and youtube channelMight take a radically different
trajectory Uh now that we'releading and talking on the
podcast
Adam (03:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jeff (04:01):
It's a different vibe, oh man,
Adam (04:05):
That's the only
Jeff (04:06):
I
Adam (04:06):
it.
Look, look, look, look.
You still get, you still get theEnneagram insights and, and the
relational application that therich relationship application,
and you're going to get elementsof, you know, um, our pastoral,
uh,
Jeff (04:25):
I mean, we take people on a journey that they have no idea
where they're going.
Neither do we, but
Adam (04:32):
And that journey, that journey includes the
ridiculousness.
It recludes, it includes theridiculous and the, and, and the
sublime and the serious, but,um, but it,
Jeff (04:45):
I mean, what we, I'm, I'm thankful for our listeners that
they get to experience us.
Adam (04:53):
yeah, I am too.
That's I am too.
Jeff (04:58):
I'm not sure my family would say that about their
experience of me.
Um, I will say, you know, lastyear, you know, many of you know
that I end up having bypasssurgery and have been on a
little bit of a health journey.
Some might say since that time,but, uh, they almost lost the El
Mocordo.
So yeah, they, uh, they wereperceiving a reality of, um,
(05:25):
without me.
And that was, that was a scaryreality
Adam (05:27):
was not cool, Jeff.
It was not cool.
It is the least cool, leastfunny thing you've ever done in
our relationship.
Jeff (05:35):
But, but I thought the funny moment that you and I had
in that, cause there were someInteresting moments throughout
But you texted me And I was onthe I was in I was in an
ambulance from one hospital tothe other where I was going to
have my surgery And you textedme And I said I responded back
(05:59):
something like yeah, i'm in anambulance right now And you're
like what
Adam (06:04):
Yeah.
And I did not know, I did notknow whether or not, whether to
take you seriously or not.
I was like, because that's,that's part of our relationship
is like, you're like, yeah, I'mon my deathbed.
And I'm like, what?
Like, but are you, are youreally, you know?
And I'm like, this is, this wasa really, you talk about a six
going into like.
(06:26):
doubt of like, how do I respondto this text?
Like, do I make a joke?
Do I say, do I just like, haha,the, the text or, uh, but I
chose, I chose instead to, Ithink I texted you back and
immediately called Beth and Iwas like, what's going on?
Like
Jeff (06:45):
Had we not told you what was going on yet
Adam (06:48):
knew what was going on, but I did not know, I knew you
were in the hospital and I hadtexted to check on you.
The development that hadhappened in between our last
communication, which had justbeen earlier in that, that
afternoon, we had communicatedin, in the, in the gap of our
communication, you had gottensome results and they had said,
(07:09):
we need to move you now.
We need to get you ready for,we're going to move you.
Uh, I think or something,something happened.
They put you, they transferredyou to another hospital, I think
is what happened and that's,that's where you ended up in the
ambulance and that's where youhad gotten the news that things
were more serious and that I hadnot, y'all had just found that
out.
So I did not know that yet.
(07:30):
And when I texted you, I was sosurprised and then not surprised
that you even texted me back inthat moment.
I'm like, of course he's textingme in the, in the, in the back
of the ambulance, you know, he'sprobably, he's probably like.
Emailing, responding to acustomer service email or
something too, you know, um,
Jeff (07:49):
such a six moment like yeah as long as I'm still
ticking I'm still still workingstill available
Adam (07:56):
dutiful, responsible, loyal, trustworthy.
Oh
Jeff (08:02):
funny.
Well, hey, we are the the boysare back and We are here to
finish off this series on theinstinctual Subtypes and the
reason why we're doing thisbecause it's consistent with our
Vision and values for yourenneagram coach where we want to
help people to see themselveswith astonishing clarity to
(08:24):
break free from the selfcondemnation fear and shame by
knowing and experiencing theUnconditional love forgiveness
and freedom that's in christ Andthe reason why we're talking
about the instinctual subtypesis because you know, there's
some practical relevancy to itnumber one You know, this is One
(08:44):
more time that all of our typesare like Sherwin Williams paint
colors.
There's hundreds of shades andtones of them.
And so we can't put stereotypesand put people in a box is that
they're going to show updifferently and we shouldn't
treat, um, the differences witha kind of contemptuous or
shaming remarks like, Oh, you'renot a one or you're not a five.
(09:06):
You can't be an extrovertedfive.
You know, ones are supposed tobe critical of other people.
What do you mean?
Uh, you're just critical ofyourself and that doesn't show
up to others.
Or what do you mean?
You, you, you mean you're acourageous, brave, but anxious
six.
What does that even look like ormean?
Um, and it just explains a lotof the variances between, uh,
(09:27):
each Enneagram type and two, theinstincts are actually a
precursor to our Enneagram styleof relating.
So the instinct is what.
sort of is activated first thatbrings personality online.
And so this is, um, when theseinstincts go off, this is what
our personality types are, uh,responding to in order to kind
(09:51):
of navigate how we address ourhumanity and living in a fallen
world.
Uh, Adam, why don't you gothrough what the three instincts
are and be sure to include adefinition of the counter type,
because we've been addressingthat each Type has a counter
type of the three types of anumber.
There's one counter type that'suncharacteristic of that type.
(10:13):
And so why don't you go throughand just give us a brief
explanation of those.
Adam (10:16):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
The first instinct is what wecall self preservation.
And this is a focus on, do Ihave what I need to survive?
It's a, it's a, it helps us takecare of our own safety and
health and well being and makesure that we have all the
resources that we need.
The, um, so that's selfpreservation.
The second instinct is social.
(10:39):
And this is more focused on, uh,society or my people, my group,
my herd.
This is how is, how is mypresence and actions and
attitudes affecting those aroundme?
Jeff (10:51):
Adam, I want to be in your herd.
Adam (10:53):
Oh,
Jeff (10:54):
I think we ought to create our own herd.
Adam (10:56):
you're, you are definitely in my herd.
Uh, it's, uh, you know, we, wetalk about the Buffalo, the
Buffalo that run into the stormtogether.
Jeff (11:04):
Yes.
Oh, we're running in the stormtogether, bro.
Adam (11:06):
you're the one that introduced me to that idea.
And I, you know,
Jeff (11:09):
It's a noble idea.
I love, yeah.
Referring to our herd.
I'll be sure to, I'm sure the.
The team, other team memberswill appreciate us.
Now we're no longer a team.
We're a herd.
Adam (11:23):
We're a herd.
That's exactly right.
Herd mentality.
Jeff (11:28):
It's a band name.
The herd.
Adam (11:30):
name.
The herd.
That's it.
Um, uh, you could be the frontman of that band.
Um, and that is the, that's thesocial instinct.
And then, you know, your thirdinstinct is one to one or some
call it sexual.
And this is, this is an intensefocus on one to one
relationships.
This is an intense drive forintimacy.
And, and it's, you know, astrong awareness of, of the
(11:53):
chemistry that you have betweenyourself and one other person,
uh, or a select small group ofpeople.
Um, but that's, that's the oneto one instinct.
And, um, we use all three, allthree instincts can show up for
us in different ways to help usconnect and protect, or another
way to say that is survive.
(12:13):
Um, and when you're Enneagram.
Type meets your instinct.
Again, we have all threeinstincts.
When your type meets the threeinstincts, it forms the three
subtypes.
So every Enneagram type hasthree subtypes.
It's almost like three differentversions of the same type.
So there are 27 totalinstinctual subtypes within the
(12:36):
Enneagram.
Um, and as you mentionedearlier, Jeff, um, there are
nine counter types.
So in those subtypes, eachEnneagram type has a counter
type.
One of the subtypes is going togo against the flow of the Uh,
Enneagram core type or maintype.
Um, so the easiest example forus, the softball pitch is, um,
(12:59):
we talk about the sixes, it'skind of the most, um, famous of
all the counter types becauseit's so counter.
Um, and you know, Jeff and I areboth sixes, but, um, whereas
sixes are phobic and they're,you know, uh, driven by this
core, uh, this core longing forsafety.
(13:20):
Um, and, and they're driven by alot of times by fear, the
counterphobic six, which is theone to one six is going to deal
with their fear by pressing intoit.
So it's not going to lookphobic.
Um, it's going to look like morelike an eight.
It's going to look more likestrength and, uh, and power and
bravado.
And they're going to get,they're going to do what they
(13:40):
can to get bigger than theirfear.
So that's the example for thesix, but each of the nine types,
and we'll, we'll, we're going tolook at this in just a second
with eight, not in one.
Each of the nine types has acounter type that sort of goes
against, pushes against the flowin the energy of the main type.
So, um,
Jeff (13:57):
Adam, the one thing that's come up because we were
addressing this through thelens, uh, or framing it in the
context of the, uh, of thetriads.
And so we've dealt with theheart triad, two threes and
fours, and the thinking triad,five, six, and sevens.
Now we're dealing with the guttriad, which they deal with the
issue of justice and, uh, the.
(14:20):
The emotion of it of anger andwe're going to talk through how
these instincts and how well howthey address the experience of
injustice and anger, but it'salso through this lens or you
can kind of think of a prism ofthe subtypes and the instincts
is that there's.
(14:41):
Dealing with injustice andanger, but self press, social,
and one to one.
So there, there is an element towhere, you know, we're still
responding to these multiplelayers, but we're just kind of
trying to fixate on defining thesubtypes, and then we'll have
some different applications asit relates to, uh, what it means
(15:04):
to be in the triad, and maybehow they experience their anger,
how they're trying to avoid thatanger, um, and how their subtype
is actually.
nuances that experience.
So Adam, once you dive in andlet's just dive into, uh, type
eights.
I
Adam (15:20):
Let's do it.
Self preservation aides, theseare sometimes called
survivalists.
Um, they are focused oncontrolling their environment
and ensuring their physicalsafety.
Very independent, strong,practical, tough minded.
Again, they're using their powerto, um, Protect themselves and
(15:42):
make sure they have what theyneed and make sure they're not
going to be hurt or betrayed or,um, or, or, you know, go
without, um, this is their selfpreservation instinct.
They're going to want to usetheir power and resources to.
maintain their dominance inevery situation and to uphold
their independence.
They can sometimes mistype as afive because they can have
(16:04):
pretty tall, thick walls thatthey set with people and some
strong boundaries.
Um, they tend to get what theywant.
They're very persuasive.
Um, they, they are known forknowing how to bargain and
barter to get what they want.
Um, their strengths are they'reincredibly resourceful, very
self reliant, strong willed.
(16:25):
Those are all strengths thatthey, that they possess.
Um, challenges is they can beoverly aggressive.
They can be too distrustful, uh,too closed off, and, uh, they
can be, be too confrontational.
So that's the self preservationeights.
Jeff (16:41):
mean, you can see how intense the response is to this
experience, this feeling of, ornot feeling injustice of not
facing betrayal again, um, is,uh, react as, as a very
protective style of relating tothe world.
And we call that a selfpreservation style of relating.
(17:03):
And that's how it shows up forthe type eight.
Well, tell us about the socialeight.
Adam (17:07):
Yeah, the socially, it's actually the counter type.
In this, in this case.
So they are, whereas the one toone aid is highly protective of
themselves, the social aid isvery protective of their tribe.
And as a way of protectingthemselves, they will seek to
support and protect theirpeople.
Um, They, they show up asincredibly helpful and loyal,
(17:32):
um, less aggressive, unless youcome after their group, you
know, um, I have a friend, um,she, uh, actually ran the
hospitality ministry in the, oneof the churches that I pastored,
um, years ago, and she is asocial eight and.
She, um, for a long time thoughtshe might be a two.
(17:54):
That's actually social aides canmistype as twos because they're
very helpful.
They're helpers.
They're caring.
They're pouring out for others,but you want to see her eight
side.
Um, you come after her peopleand, uh, the mama bear.
Jeff (18:09):
Yeah.
Adam (18:10):
comes out, the claws come out and the strength, the
strength shows up.
And then you feel this energy oflike, Oh, wow, there's this
visceral reaction to someone,um, in their group or someone
weaker being attacked or harmed.
And they will step in, they willstep in and use their strength
to bring about justice in thosesituations.
(18:32):
They're more outgoing, typicallymore friendly, more nurturing, a
little more mellow than theother eight, uh, subtypes.
Their strengths, as I'vementioned, is they're
protective, uh, they're justiceoriented, they're decisive, um,
they're servant hearted, bighearted.
Uh, the challenges is that theycan struggle with vulnerability.
They can be over controlling.
(18:54):
Um, and man, they can, theydon't, they don't forget easily.
They can struggle to, to, if, ifyou come across their people or
transgress their people, theycan be, it can be, they can be
tough to forgive.
They can be tough to, tough toever trust.
If you break their trust, um,you know, they can really put up
(19:14):
a boundary with, with you.
So, uh, and sometimes that'sreally healthy.
Sometimes it's not healthy.
So that is the social eight.
Let's round this out with theone to one eight.
Sometimes we call these thepossessive eights.
Possessive just means that they,they tend to, to, to come in and
kind of take over the wholeenvironment and they really sort
(19:36):
of demand everyone's attention.
I mean, they're like magnets.
Um, they enjoy the thrill ofintense stimulation and
adrenaline rushes.
These are the eights that will,they're energized by conflict.
So they might love to start anargument.
Um, if you have a one to oneeight, this is the one at the
dinner table, you know, atThanksgiving, that's going to
(19:57):
roll a grenade on the table andsay like, you know, this, this,
this, um, this is we'rerecording this episode in the
summer of 2024.
So we're coming up, this is anelection year.
So this is this.
If you have a one to one eight,this is the one in November, uh,
at Thanksgiving.
That's going to want to bring uppolitics just to.
Uh, start a fight.
(20:18):
And, um, they're energized bythis, this provocativeness and
this intense stimulation and theadrenaline of the moment, uh,
they are the most rebellious,most provocative of all, uh, of
all the different eights.
Um, they want their closestrelationships to be as strong as
them.
(20:39):
So there's this kind of come atme energy.
Like don't, they do not want tohave to be the adult and take
care of everyone.
So whereas the social eight.
Can play more of a caretakerrole and it more would be more
like the adult in the roomthat's parenting and taking care
of One to one aides do not theywant you to take care of
yourself.
I don't want to provide you youtake care of yourself Don't make
(21:00):
me do it.
Um And you know what that canthat can actually be really
healthy, you know, they'rethey're not gonna they're
they're gonna be the leastcodependent Um of probably
anyone on the enneagram.
Uh, uh, and so their strengthsare they're loyal they're
differentiated You They'reassertive.
Um, they're funny.
(21:21):
They're, you know, sometimes thestandup, they can make great
standup comedians becausethey're so provocative and they
love just to, again, throw abomb in the, in the room and
watch everybody's reaction.
It's, it can be hilarious.
Um, it can also be offensive.
So their, their challenges isthey, they can be offensive.
They can be overly possessive,too intense, and they can
(21:44):
struggle with moderation.
So Jeff, that's, that's oursubtypes for the eight.
Jeff (21:49):
Mm.
And, and you can see all of thisis around who's, who's in, who's
out, who's with me, who's loyal,uh, who's, who's in the circle
of trust, who's outside of thecircle of trust.
Um, some are going to be muchmore inclusive of that.
You can see how they resonatewith other people.
There's like, there's definitelysome counter phobic six stuff
(22:11):
that you're noticing in theeights.
There's some two stuff dynamicsthere.
We've mentioned before that someof these, um, the, uh, uh, one
to one fours can often kind ofpresent as the eights.
Um, there's definitely somethree types that, uh, that can,
I'm thinking of particularly,um, Um, was that the social
(22:35):
three that can kind of look likean eight?
Um, the, the social eights,right?
Um, and so sometimes there'ssome mistyping that can happen
here, um, when, as they resonatewith other types, but remember
they're, they're still operatingfrom the same core, um, desires,
the core fear, desire, weakness,and longing of the eight, but
(22:55):
they're, they're still, Inreference to that, how they're
dealing with injustice is thatis it related to how they're
seeing the self press?
I'm in this alone social.
I'm in this with a group and I'mgoing to use my strength to
defend all of us.
Or is it this more tightlysealed?
I'm going to have this closeknit group that I'm still going
(23:15):
to remain provocative like I'mambivalent towards them.
I'm in there in with me.
They're out with me.
But I'm so I'm going to bepossessive of them.
I'm going to be focused on thesmaller group of people.
Um, well, why don't we dive intothe type nine, which man, I feel
like I'm, I've got a lot ofnines around me, but there are a
(23:36):
lot of nines in the world.
It seems like I don't know whatthe Demographic numbers are, I
hear rumors of different things,but there does seem to be a lot
of nines in the world.
Well, let's look at the selfprez nine.
They're the comfort seekingnines.
Their focus is on personalcomfort and staying in their own
comfort zones.
(23:56):
Their passion is sloth, sothey're not fully showing up and
that's seen in how they canmerge with people.
familiar routines and physicalcomforts.
Okay.
They seek out supportiveenvironments where they are
untroubled by other people'sinfluence and expectations.
Now, you know, please understandthe idea of the passion being
(24:17):
sloth.
That's true for all threesubtypes of the nine, but this
is showing up for how they Andwhen they are slothful, they are
looking for personal comfortversus like the social nine,
which is going to look for thatcomfort whenever hurt their
relationships.
I say her because, um, they canparticularly about whenever
(24:37):
they're, um, but wheneverthey're, Relationships are at
rest.
That's when they are at restversus their own personal
comfort.
They can be in, um, they can bethe most stubborn of all of the
nines.
They're simply just unwilling tomove.
They're resistant to change ifit requires them to adjust their
pace and routines.
Um, As a matter of fact, as I'mthinking about this, uh, I think
(25:02):
my dad's probably a self preznine.
Um, he is so consistent.
I think he went to the samedonut shop before work for 20
years and got the same donut andate part of it for breakfast and
part of it for his morningbreak, uh, when he was at work.
Uh, the same chocolate twist,kind of fun.
(25:23):
Uh, just thinking about thatnow.
Um, Their, their strengths arethat they're very patient, very
grounded, and have a lot ofcommon sense, but their
challenge is that they becomecomplacent.
They're resistant to change.
They're in their zone ofcomfort, um, and they don't want
to move from it, and they can bevery stubborn to a fault.
(25:43):
Um, and you know, I think thatas I think about my dad, my mom
died.
Adam (25:48):
Uh,
Jeff (25:51):
and he's not remarried and I, you know, one of the things I
can remember him saying is that,um, he's kind of stuck in his
ways and didn't want those waysto be changed.
Um, that would be, uh, um, avery self prez nine way of
approaching it.
Well, let's talk about thesocial nines.
The social nines areparticipatory.
(26:11):
They're much more engaged.
They're the counter type,actually, of the subtypes of the
nines.
And they're going to be moreoutgoing, active, and involved
in a group or community.
Um, and instead of merging withroutines or merging with
individuals, which will be theone to one, the social nines
merge with the the group asthey, so that they can feel like
(26:31):
they belong and that their voicematters within a particular
community.
Uh, they can mistype as a typethree or type seven because of
their optimism and taskorientation.
So they're very busy.
Um, they, Um, Um, Uh,Transcripts provided by
(26:55):
Transcription Outsourcing, LLC.
And then the last one is, um,Fusion.
That's the one to one nines.
They still adopt the strategy ofmerging, but it's usually
merging with a person or aselect few people.
Um, they take on, uh, theattitudes, ideas, and feelings
(27:16):
of others, uh, since it feelstoo difficult to stand on their
own.
Um, it's very interesting whenBeth and I talk about my role as
a pastor and some of the genderroles that came along with it.
We were both responding to thesame norms and expectations, but
(27:38):
we did so radically different.
Um, I never felt like I couldmeasure up to the sort of the
patriarchal, uh, uh, head ofhousehold Christian husband.
I never felt confident in thatrole nor did I ever Because of
I'm a six I never perceived myrole as that I was the head and
(28:00):
that she was to follow I alwayswanted to do it with her because
of my lack of confidence in thatrole But she was always
deferring to me.
It was it suited her to havethose expectations.
So in her mind, she was alwaysdeferring to me because I was
the head of the home, but she'salso a one to one nine.
And so she would defer to ahusband anyway, or to a spouse,
(28:24):
um, because she was a one to onenine.
But it's interesting that wewere both trying to live up to
this expected role, but none ofneither one of us felt that we
could or capable of doing itexperience a lot of shame
regarding it.
Whenever they don't feel in linewith these small group of people
(28:45):
in relationships, um, they havesome internal anxiety because
they tend to lose themselves andtheir identity in the process of
trying to accommodate to thesepeople.
And so they're always anxiousabout our Are these other people
happy with him?
Um, if the other people aren'thappy, they often associate that
it's their fault that they'renot happy.
(29:06):
They blame themselves,internalize it, versus um,
seeing that no, they're just,this other person's having their
own experience.
This causes them an internalbattle between their desire to
be themselves, but also todesire to Nines can be very
autonomous.
They want to be their ownperson.
They They want to be undisturbedby other things around them, so
(29:29):
they want autonomy, but theyhave this strong inclination to
merge with other people, um, andso they can resemble a type four
or a type six looking andreading other people, um, their
kind.
shy, gentle, and take on, takein the world with awe and wonder
like a child, but theirchallenge is they can be self
forgetting, abandoningthemselves to the comfort of
(29:51):
others.
They can be too dependent onothers for their identity and
struggle to emerge and assertthemselves.
Um, do you want to add anything?
I mean you're, you've beenmarried to a nine for a number
of years now.
Any thoughts?
What is, what's Carrie'ssubtype?
Yeah, subtype.
Adam (30:06):
Carrie will tell you, uh, and I agree with her that her
subtype is self preservation.
Um, yeah, she, um, what is it?
What is it?
You said there at the end canbe, um, uh, uh, strong willed.
Can be, uh, you said somethinglike stubborn to a fault was, I
(30:28):
think a phrase that you used.
Um, I mean, no, she's obviouslyshe's incredible and she's a
better, better human being thanI am, but she, she definitely
notices, um, she has to fightreally hard not to fall asleep
to herself and forget herself.
Um, she's pretty attuned to herpeople, her tribe.
(30:49):
Um, she is very attuned to me.
I think I see the one to oneshow up in our relationship a
Jeff (30:54):
Mm hmm.
Adam (30:55):
a lot.
Um, but her sort of default is,is ensuring that she doesn't,
she doesn't fail to show up toherself for herself and that she
gets outside of her comfort zoneand her routines and men.
Um, God's always been, you know,throughout our 20 years of, of
marriage, he keeps putting herin situations and positions
(31:18):
where she would never putherself, uh, outside of her
comfort zone.
And she really thrives in those,I just, you know, just to honor
her.
She really does thrive whenshe's in those contexts, but if
she allowed herself, she would,um, She would, you know, she
would forget her own voice andI, you know, it just seems that
(31:39):
the Lord won't let her do that.
Oh, she keeps, keeps, keepspushing her.
Jeff (31:45):
right?
Yeah.
Adam (31:46):
yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
And so I, she's definitely, Idefinitely see the self
preservation, but I see allthree in her.
Jeff (31:52):
Yeah.
Adam (31:53):
Um, yeah, well, shall we?
Jeff (31:55):
When I think about, um, uh, particularly in Carrie's
story, you know, she, herparents had her when she was
very young or they were veryyoung.
And it's interesting you saythat self press because that was
a, that's a big part of herstory is.
just surviving in life.
And so I do wonder what, howstory and circumstances, the
(32:18):
nature, nurture stuff impactssome of these, or it seems to
bring emphasis to the idea of,um, these instincts and why we
would focus on some are oneversus the other two.
Adam (32:33):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, the brain doesn't forget,you know, if, if, if it's
hardwired for connection andprotection, that's certainly
gonna be filtered through storyand body keeps the score and the
brain remembers.
And so, yeah, I think she, the,the, she, she remembers and her
body remembers ways that she hadto use these different instincts
(32:54):
growing up.
And, um, and so, um, you know,that that's certainly at play,
certainly at play.
Jeff (33:03):
that's so interesting.
You say it that way, how theseinstincts work.
And had to use all of thembecause I, in my own life, as we
mentioned in the previousepisode, I see all three coming
up and I needed all three
Adam (33:19):
Yep.
Jeff (33:19):
my life, uh, in light of the family of origin that I had,
where I, they weren't asinvolved as we, I just said, you
know, my dad being a more selfpresenting.
Uh, what would my mom would havebeen?
Um, She probably would have beena self.
No, she was much more of asocial too.
Adam (33:42):
It's so funny, man.
My mom, I would absolutely, mymom and dad just, we just had
this conversation, uh, that mydad is a self pres nine.
My mom is a social too,
Jeff (33:54):
Wow.
it,
Adam (33:56):
know, for our listeners, for our listeners, Jeff and I
share a ton of these, uh,overlap, these things that are
the same.
So we're both married to nines,our wedding anniversaries, the
same day.
Um, our, we, but we learned onetime that our code.
To get into our iPhone.
Both of us use our old football,uh, Jersey number.
(34:17):
Um, our parents, our parents,
Jeff (34:20):
to get into my phone because I
Adam (34:21):
well, they don't, but they don't,
Jeff (34:22):
up.
I was
Adam (34:23):
don't know you're
Jeff (34:25):
a successful athlete, Adam.
So, uh, I'm on the internet.
You, you were not.
So, you wouldn't.
Matter of fact, I mean, I, let'sbe honest, Adam.
I mean, you're talking to a hallof
Adam (34:36):
Hall of famer, hall of famer.
I knew this was where we weregoing.
I knew it.
I knew it in the university ofKansas, Rock Chalk Jayhawk hall
of fame, El McCordo.
What's the bowl you guys playedin?
Jeff (34:51):
uh, that's funny that you say it that way.
What is the ball?
not
Adam (34:56):
Well, I
Jeff (34:57):
bowl games.
Adam (34:58):
I said it like that.
I
Jeff (35:00):
That's an insult.
Adam (35:04):
Emphasis on the definite article, the bowl that you guys
played in.
Hey, listen, it's more than it'smore, I've never played in a
bowl.
So, you know, there you go.
I've never, I've never played inNow the Razorbacks
Jeff (35:20):
they did.
Okay.
So I did play for the universityof Kansas when the university of
Missouri, the university ofKansas rivalry dates back to the
civil war.
It's the oldest rivalry West ofthe Mississippi, but it was once
referred to as the toilet bowl.
Um, because it was such anirrelevant game, but, uh, yes,
(35:43):
we were the 1995 Aloha bowlchampions.
Number nine the nation just toremind you that one day previous
now, we're not too bad.
We're actually looking reallygood That's a whole nother
discussion man.
These poor listeners.
They've been listening to Bethand now here we are randomly
talking about sports
Adam (36:08):
Listen, you know, you're, you're, you get what you get
with us.
You know, it's, it's allinclusive.
It's an all inclusive package.
You know, you get
Jeff (36:16):
That's right, hey, this is like a cruise
Adam (36:20):
Yeah,
Jeff (36:20):
if you want to go rest, we're gonna let you rest.
We're gonna let you heal We'regonna take you to the spa, but
sometimes we need to take you tothe dance party
Adam (36:28):
that's right.
And
Jeff (36:29):
We need to take you to the comedy show, like
Adam (36:32):
Sometimes we got to hit up the buffet, you know, or,
Jeff (36:36):
this is El Mocordo and the Jackal cruise line.
Adam (36:41):
but it's funny to bring it all the way back.
I just realizing that even ourparents, I've known that you're,
you know, I've known that our,both our parents shared an
Engram type, but even the samesubtype is interesting.
Um, fascinating, fascinatingstuff, my friend.
Jeff (36:55):
Hey, well, let's dive into the last one.
This is going to finish out ourseries here.
The, the type ones, you know,they're always number one in our
hearts, but sometimes they'relast on the, the Enneagram walk
in the wheel.
Adam (37:07):
Yeah, Jesus said the last will be first and
Jeff (37:10):
Of course, ones would love to think that.
Adam (37:13):
Ones would love to think that so we save the best for
last all you type ones Selfpreservation ones.
These are uh, these are the mostperfectionistic of all the type
one subtypes Um, but they'rereally focused on perfecting
themselves More than they'reperfecting others.
So it's not that you're notgonna You're not gonna
experience them Typically asbeing more judgmental, the more
(37:36):
judgmental type or selfrighteous type where they're
kind of judging you or trying toperfect you, their inner critic
is aimed, uh, more so atthemselves and they want to
refine themselves in all areasof life, nutrition, fitness,
finances, you name it, uh,image.
I mean, they, they want toconstantly grow and get better
in all of these areas.
(37:56):
And they, they tend to represstheir resentment and instead
they use their energy to Um, toreally refine themselves.
Like I said, perfect themselves.
Uh, people experience them aswarm and friendly.
Um, they, uh, they don't allowothers to see the degree to
which their inner critic isdriving and berating them.
They, it's a, they feel thatit's a sin to be angry.
(38:20):
So it's, or it's wrong.
You know, that's the thing istype ones are afraid of being
wrong or doing bad or being bad.
And so they don't want you to,they don't want you to know that
they're angry.
They repress their anger and youexperience a lot of warmth from
them.
Um, their strengths are thatthey're organized, structured,
punctual.
(38:40):
They have a particular gift forbringing order to chaos.
Um, so they're great for that.
Uh, challenges can be overlycritical of themselves, can be
rigid, can struggle to relax.
There can be almost a type six,uh, self preservation, six
anxious energy to a type one.
(39:02):
Um, so if, if you're on vacationwith them, you're going to have
to help them first of all, takea vacation.
And then when they take avacation, take the vacation, you
know, they're the stereotype isif you have a self preservation
one on vacation, they're theones who are going to over
program the vacation.
Everything is.
Everything is mapped out.
We got to do this.
Then we're going to do that.
And we're going to go from hereto do this.
We're going to do that.
(39:23):
And you know, meanwhile, youknow, your sevens and, and your
eights and anybody else who's onthe vacation are like, wait a
minute, let's, let's relax.
Uh, let's have some fun.
And so you might have to helpyourself preservation one
friends to, uh, you know, uh,like loosen up the tie a little
bit, or, Pour that second drink,you know, like have, have some
(39:48):
fun, relax.
Um, all right, social, socialones.
Sometimes we call these theteachers.
Um, this subtype sees themselvesas a role model.
They, they, uh, pride themselvesin finding the right way to do
something and having the perfectstance on all issues and all
problems.
(40:09):
Um, they, they likedemonstrating their correct
views and their correct ways toothers.
Um, they can come across asrigid, uh, not allow much room
for other perspectives or otherinterpretations.
It can be sort of a my way orthe highway sometimes with a
social one.
Um, but again, They're, they'rejust, they're trying to reform
(40:30):
the group.
So whereas a self preservationone is focused on reforming
themselves, the social onestrying to do good by the group
that it's, it's sometimes it's,they're not, they're not trying
to come across judgmental.
They think they're honestlydoing what's best for their
group.
And so they have these ideas,these ideals, these
perspectives, these right ways,and they're going to try to
enforce those standards.
(40:52):
Onto the group now that can comeacross as judgmental.
Um, there's a high moralstandard And it can be really
hard for, for social ones to notmeasure every other opinion or
every other point of viewagainst those high standards.
Their high moral compass is astrength.
I mean, that's the strengths ofthe social ones is the high
(41:13):
moral compass.
They're great teachers, strongcapacity for leadership, lots of
dedication, challenges.
If they're not careful, again,they're going to manifest as
self righteous.
They're going to be intolerant.
Of anybody that's different fromthem or, you know, believes
differently or has a differentpoint of view and they can
struggle to accept those who aredifferent.
And that can be a challenge.
(41:33):
You can see how that couldreally cause some, some problems
in their, in their groups.
Um, lastly, the one to one ones,uh, we call these the zealous
ones.
This is your counter type, um,because they're more expressive
of their anger.
They're, they're not, they'redeeply in touch with their anger
and they're more expressive ofit.
(41:56):
They're more honest about it.
They're, they're a bit moreimpulsive than other ones.
Um, so whereas other ones kindof are straight laced,
Organized, put together, kind ofmanifesting that sort of image.
Uh, a, a one to one type one,uh, is going to be, you know,
more impulsive.
I'm angry and I'm gonna let youknow about it.
(42:17):
Sometimes they can even mistypeas an eight.
For that reason, there,Intensely focused on reforming
and perfecting, um, others, but,but, you know, again, it's
focused on one to onerelationships where not, not,
not, not society as a whole,but, but, um, just on a select
few people, they feel a personalresponsibility to change people
(42:40):
for the better.
And, um, they know the right waythat things should be done.
And they're not afraid to, tovoice that passionately.
Their strengths are, they aregreat reformers.
I mean, they really are.
And they're, they're verypassionate.
They have a lot of, they canhave a lot of healthy anger.
You know, healthy anger is justpassion.
(43:01):
Um, and that, that healthy angercan get some things done.
It really can.
Now the challenge is, is thatthey can be overly judgmental.
They can be too intense.
And if they're not careful, theycan overstep their boundaries
and lay their ways and theirprinciples onto other people.
And that of course can causefrustration and hurt when that
happens.
So they have to be careful withthat.
(43:23):
So Jeff, that is the subtypesfor our, our type one friends.
Jeff (43:28):
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, everybody, we really hopethat you've uh, enjoyed uh, just
seeing types through a radicallydifferent lens that may be types
that, you know, You're verysurprised by that.
How can they be that type and beso different than what our
expectations are?
Stereotypes might be, butknowing the lens of the subtypes
(43:49):
really gives us insight into howpeople work and why they're
presenting to us in particularways and the opportunity for us
to move towards them withcuriosity and with compassion to
ourselves.
And also to other peoplerealize, you know, like, I love
the way that, um, Adam's beenphrasing it through this series
(44:10):
about that.
We were created to look forconnection and protection, and
these are these instincts areways in which we go about doing
it, but through the style of anEnneagram style of relating.
So we hope you've appreciatedthis.
Um, be sure to check out theshow notes.
There's going to beopportunities.
We've got downloads, freedownloads for you to have a
(44:31):
summary of these subtypes andPDF form, uh, be sure to check
out the, your Enneagram coachblog, where there'll be a, uh,
blog there that'll list out allof this in text form that you
can come back to at any time,whenever you are in
conversations with your friendsand family members, but we've
hope you've enjoyed thissession.
series as we've talked throughthe different subtypes, uh, and
(44:52):
the instincts and how they showup for each of the Enneagram
types.
Um, we look, hopefully you'regoing to be staying around with
Adam and I as we, uh, continueto embark and kind of take, uh,
give Beth a break and, um, Yeah,step in for her and continuing
to offer you some greatEnneagram content.
That's going to help you toexperience your and understand
yourself with astonishingclarity.
(45:14):
Because our real dream and hopeis, is that you'd be able to
break free from the fear, selfcondemnation and shame to
experience the kindness, thelove, the compassion of having a
Intimate relationship with JesusChrist.
Uh, Adam, is there anything elseyou'd like to say before we go?
Adam (45:32):
Yeah, I just hope that all of you will continue to join
Jeff and myself on this virtual,all inclusive Enneagram journey
cruise ship that you're on.
And
Jeff (45:44):
That's going to be our new closing moving forward, Adam.
That's good.
It's great
Adam (45:48):
That's right.
You're going to get
Jeff (45:50):
on a board.
We're expecting you.
Adam (45:57):
All I can think about.
Yeah, it is.
And all I can think about now isthe Gilligan Island song.
Jeff (46:02):
Oh, that's probably more appropriate.
Yeah.
Adam (46:06):
because every single, every single podcast episode we
do could easily be a three hourtour.
It's like anybody else could dothis episode in 30 minutes and
you've got two sixes on herethat, oh my gosh, we could go on
Jeff (46:24):
I thought it was going to be this elevated, we're on a
cruise, no, we're, this isGilligan's Island.
That's all it is.
Adam (46:32):
That's all it is.
And you're stuck with us.
And we hope you'll stay stuckwith us we like being stuck with
you.
Jeff (46:45):
Well be sure, uh, to get your ticket to ride, uh, to hit,
smash that subscribe button anduh, be sure to check in with us
next time.
We'll see you
Adam (46:56):
We really, we really love hanging out with you guys.
And Jeff, I love doing this withyou.
And we'll be excited to haveBeth back.
And we're also very excited togive her a much needed
sabbatical.
And so, um, friends remember,um, as we say each week in each
episode, the Enneagram Uh, onlyreveals your need for Jesus, not
your need to work harder.
It's the gospel that transformsus.
(47:17):
Thanks for joining us.
And we'll see you in the nextepisode..
Hey, everyone.
(00:00):
I'm Jeff McCord, co founder andCEO of your Enneagram coach.
So delighted that you're here.
I am joined today with ourdirector of coaching, Adam
Breckenridge.
Mr Breckenridge.
Great to be with you again.
Adam (00:17):
you, Mr.
McCord.
I've really enjoyed, um, hangingpodcast, and we're going to be
doing that.
Yeah.
For a few weeks now, moving
Jeff (00:26):
being a man that's in kind of rural, Arkansas and kind of
isolated from people doing yourArkasonian type things.
What's it like to connect withthe bigger world around you?
I
Adam (00:45):
to connect with, uh, a little piece of God's country
Jeff (00:50):
you're, you're, your room there is kind of like a cabin.
Like, are you kind of a nomad,uh, isolated and
Adam (00:59):
You know, it's funny.
It's funny.
Everybody that I meet with, youknow, when I meet with our
coaches or I meet with, youknow, anybody, they're always
like, Are you in a, are you likein a cabin or a retreat center
or what is this place?
And, and I'm like, this is, sowe bought this house two years
ago.
It's clear that when this housewas built, this room was
intended to be some kind oflike, um, I think a man cave,
(01:21):
uh, I think is what it wasintended to be.
And, and so I have threedaughters, as you know, and, um,
And none of them, none of themwanted this room.
And so I said, you know, this isgoing to be my office.
And so it's not, uh, it's notthe, I'm not in the attic.
Jeff (01:38):
office.
Yeah,
Adam (01:44):
a bedroom.
There's a closet, there's awindow.
The walls are insulated.
Sometimes people are like, isthis like the attic?
And I'm like, no, dude, it'snot.
I'm not, I'm not stuck in the,nobody puts baby in the attic.
This is my office.
(02:04):
Oh,
Jeff (02:05):
I don't I just can't imagine Does anybody call you
baby?
Does your wife call you baby?
What's your pet nickname?
What's your husband name,
Adam (02:16):
Uh, you know, sometimes you might go with honey, just,
yeah, just honey, just honey.
Uh, I
Jeff (02:23):
to think I don't think Beth has a nickname for me.
I mean people probably haveheard me called Beth Bethy
That's her nickname or sweetieI'm not sure if Beth actually
has a nickname for me, but I Youcan't put baby in the attic.
Adam (02:38):
Nobody puts baby in the attic.
And I just hope
Jeff (02:41):
Is that a move?
Is that a live from a movie?
Adam (02:43):
oh, you bet it is.
In fact, I'd love for, if you'relistening to this episode, I'd
love for you to go to thecomment section right now and
tell us what movie referencethat is.
Um, tell us what I'm, cause I'm,I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna
say, I'm gonna let our audiencetell you what movie reference
that is.
Yeah.
Jeff (03:05):
us for the past three episodes, um, we've been talking
about the subtypes, but, um,Beth is actually, uh, our
fearless leader, Enneagramexpert, the Yoda that made it
all.
Um, she is on sabbatical afterjust a, an amazing run.
She's going to take a little bitof a break.
Um, and so Adam and I, um, I'mnot sure, you know, the phrase
(03:30):
when the cat's away the mice areat play, you know, I, uh, I
gotta admit, uh, The commentsthat could potentially happen on
our episodes and youtube channelMight take a radically different
trajectory Uh now that we'releading and talking on the
podcast
Adam (03:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jeff (04:01):
It's a different vibe, oh man,
Adam (04:05):
That's the only
Jeff (04:06):
I
Adam (04:06):
it.
Look, look, look, look.
You still get, you still get theEnneagram insights and, and the
relational application that therich relationship application,
and you're going to get elementsof, you know, um, our pastoral,
uh,
Jeff (04:25):
I mean, we take people on a journey that they have no idea
where they're going.
Neither do we, but
Adam (04:32):
And that journey, that journey includes the
ridiculousness.
It recludes, it includes theridiculous and the, and, and the
sublime and the serious, but,um, but it,
Jeff (04:45):
I mean, what we, I'm, I'm thankful for our listeners that
they get to experience us.
Adam (04:53):
yeah, I am too.
That's I am too.
Jeff (04:58):
I'm not sure my family would say that about their
experience of me.
Um, I will say, you know, lastyear, you know, many of you know
that I end up having bypasssurgery and have been on a
little bit of a health journey.
Some might say since that time,but, uh, they almost lost the El
Mocordo.
So yeah, they, uh, they wereperceiving a reality of, um,
(05:25):
without me.
And that was, that was a scaryreality
Adam (05:27):
was not cool, Jeff.
It was not cool.
It is the least cool, leastfunny thing you've ever done in
our relationship.
Jeff (05:35):
But, but I thought the funny moment that you and I had
in that, cause there were someInteresting moments throughout
But you texted me And I was onthe I was in I was in an
ambulance from one hospital tothe other where I was going to
have my surgery And you textedme And I said I responded back
(05:59):
something like yeah, i'm in anambulance right now And you're
like what
Adam (06:04):
Yeah.
And I did not know, I did notknow whether or not, whether to
take you seriously or not.
I was like, because that's,that's part of our relationship
is like, you're like, yeah, I'mon my deathbed.
And I'm like, what?
Like, but are you, are youreally, you know?
And I'm like, this is, this wasa really, you talk about a six
going into like.
(06:26):
doubt of like, how do I respondto this text?
Like, do I make a joke?
Do I say, do I just like, haha,the, the text or, uh, but I
chose, I chose instead to, Ithink I texted you back and
immediately called Beth and Iwas like, what's going on?
Like
Jeff (06:45):
Had we not told you what was going on yet
Adam (06:48):
knew what was going on, but I did not know, I knew you
were in the hospital and I hadtexted to check on you.
The development that hadhappened in between our last
communication, which had justbeen earlier in that, that
afternoon, we had communicatedin, in the, in the gap of our
communication, you had gottensome results and they had said,
(07:09):
we need to move you now.
We need to get you ready for,we're going to move you.
Uh, I think or something,something happened.
They put you, they transferredyou to another hospital, I think
is what happened and that's,that's where you ended up in the
ambulance and that's where youhad gotten the news that things
were more serious and that I hadnot, y'all had just found that
out.
So I did not know that yet.
(07:30):
And when I texted you, I was sosurprised and then not surprised
that you even texted me back inthat moment.
I'm like, of course he's textingme in the, in the, in the back
of the ambulance, you know, he'sprobably, he's probably like.
Emailing, responding to acustomer service email or
something too, you know, um,
Jeff (07:49):
such a six moment like yeah as long as I'm still
ticking I'm still still workingstill available
Adam (07:56):
dutiful, responsible, loyal, trustworthy.
Oh
Jeff (08:02):
funny.
Well, hey, we are the the boysare back and We are here to
finish off this series on theinstinctual Subtypes and the
reason why we're doing thisbecause it's consistent with our
Vision and values for yourenneagram coach where we want to
help people to see themselveswith astonishing clarity to
(08:24):
break free from the selfcondemnation fear and shame by
knowing and experiencing theUnconditional love forgiveness
and freedom that's in christ Andthe reason why we're talking
about the instinctual subtypesis because you know, there's
some practical relevancy to itnumber one You know, this is One
(08:44):
more time that all of our typesare like Sherwin Williams paint
colors.
There's hundreds of shades andtones of them.
And so we can't put stereotypesand put people in a box is that
they're going to show updifferently and we shouldn't
treat, um, the differences witha kind of contemptuous or
shaming remarks like, Oh, you'renot a one or you're not a five.
(09:06):
You can't be an extrovertedfive.
You know, ones are supposed tobe critical of other people.
What do you mean?
Uh, you're just critical ofyourself and that doesn't show
up to others.
Or what do you mean?
You, you, you mean you're acourageous, brave, but anxious
six.
What does that even look like ormean?
Um, and it just explains a lotof the variances between, uh,
(09:27):
each Enneagram type and two, theinstincts are actually a
precursor to our Enneagram styleof relating.
So the instinct is what.
sort of is activated first thatbrings personality online.
And so this is, um, when theseinstincts go off, this is what
our personality types are, uh,responding to in order to kind
(09:51):
of navigate how we address ourhumanity and living in a fallen
world.
Uh, Adam, why don't you gothrough what the three instincts
are and be sure to include adefinition of the counter type,
because we've been addressingthat each Type has a counter
type of the three types of anumber.
There's one counter type that'suncharacteristic of that type.
(10:13):
And so why don't you go throughand just give us a brief
explanation of those.
Adam (10:16):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
The first instinct is what wecall self preservation.
And this is a focus on, do Ihave what I need to survive?
It's a, it's a, it helps us takecare of our own safety and
health and well being and makesure that we have all the
resources that we need.
The, um, so that's selfpreservation.
The second instinct is social.
(10:39):
And this is more focused on, uh,society or my people, my group,
my herd.
This is how is, how is mypresence and actions and
attitudes affecting those aroundme?
Jeff (10:51):
Adam, I want to be in your herd.
Adam (10:53):
Oh,
Jeff (10:54):
I think we ought to create our own herd.
Adam (10:56):
you're, you are definitely in my herd.
Uh, it's, uh, you know, we, wetalk about the Buffalo, the
Buffalo that run into the stormtogether.
Jeff (11:04):
Yes.
Oh, we're running in the stormtogether, bro.
Adam (11:06):
you're the one that introduced me to that idea.
And I, you know,
Jeff (11:09):
It's a noble idea.
I love, yeah.
Referring to our herd.
I'll be sure to, I'm sure the.
The team, other team memberswill appreciate us.
Now we're no longer a team.
We're a herd.
Adam (11:23):
We're a herd.
That's exactly right.
Herd mentality.
Jeff (11:28):
It's a band name.
The herd.
Adam (11:30):
name.
The herd.
That's it.
Um, uh, you could be the frontman of that band.
Um, and that is the, that's thesocial instinct.
And then, you know, your thirdinstinct is one to one or some
call it sexual.
And this is, this is an intensefocus on one to one
relationships.
This is an intense drive forintimacy.
And, and it's, you know, astrong awareness of, of the
(11:53):
chemistry that you have betweenyourself and one other person,
uh, or a select small group ofpeople.
Um, but that's, that's the oneto one instinct.
And, um, we use all three, allthree instincts can show up for
us in different ways to help usconnect and protect, or another
way to say that is survive.
(12:13):
Um, and when you're Enneagram.
Type meets your instinct.
Again, we have all threeinstincts.
When your type meets the threeinstincts, it forms the three
subtypes.
So every Enneagram type hasthree subtypes.
It's almost like three differentversions of the same type.
So there are 27 totalinstinctual subtypes within the
(12:36):
Enneagram.
Um, and as you mentionedearlier, Jeff, um, there are
nine counter types.
So in those subtypes, eachEnneagram type has a counter
type.
One of the subtypes is going togo against the flow of the Uh,
Enneagram core type or maintype.
Um, so the easiest example forus, the softball pitch is, um,
(12:59):
we talk about the sixes, it'skind of the most, um, famous of
all the counter types becauseit's so counter.
Um, and you know, Jeff and I areboth sixes, but, um, whereas
sixes are phobic and they're,you know, uh, driven by this
core, uh, this core longing forsafety.
(13:20):
Um, and, and they're driven by alot of times by fear, the
counterphobic six, which is theone to one six is going to deal
with their fear by pressing intoit.
So it's not going to lookphobic.
Um, it's going to look like morelike an eight.
It's going to look more likestrength and, uh, and power and
bravado.
And they're going to get,they're going to do what they
(13:40):
can to get bigger than theirfear.
So that's the example for thesix, but each of the nine types,
and we'll, we'll, we're going tolook at this in just a second
with eight, not in one.
Each of the nine types has acounter type that sort of goes
against, pushes against the flowin the energy of the main type.
So, um,
Jeff (13:57):
Adam, the one thing that's come up because we were
addressing this through thelens, uh, or framing it in the
context of the, uh, of thetriads.
And so we've dealt with theheart triad, two threes and
fours, and the thinking triad,five, six, and sevens.
Now we're dealing with the guttriad, which they deal with the
issue of justice and, uh, the.
(14:20):
The emotion of it of anger andwe're going to talk through how
these instincts and how well howthey address the experience of
injustice and anger, but it'salso through this lens or you
can kind of think of a prism ofthe subtypes and the instincts
is that there's.
(14:41):
Dealing with injustice andanger, but self press, social,
and one to one.
So there, there is an element towhere, you know, we're still
responding to these multiplelayers, but we're just kind of
trying to fixate on defining thesubtypes, and then we'll have
some different applications asit relates to, uh, what it means
(15:04):
to be in the triad, and maybehow they experience their anger,
how they're trying to avoid thatanger, um, and how their subtype
is actually.
nuances that experience.
So Adam, once you dive in andlet's just dive into, uh, type
eights.
I
Adam (15:20):
Let's do it.
Self preservation aides, theseare sometimes called
survivalists.
Um, they are focused oncontrolling their environment
and ensuring their physicalsafety.
Very independent, strong,practical, tough minded.
Again, they're using their powerto, um, Protect themselves and
(15:42):
make sure they have what theyneed and make sure they're not
going to be hurt or betrayed or,um, or, or, you know, go
without, um, this is their selfpreservation instinct.
They're going to want to usetheir power and resources to.
maintain their dominance inevery situation and to uphold
their independence.
They can sometimes mistype as afive because they can have
(16:04):
pretty tall, thick walls thatthey set with people and some
strong boundaries.
Um, they tend to get what theywant.
They're very persuasive.
Um, they, they are known forknowing how to bargain and
barter to get what they want.
Um, their strengths are they'reincredibly resourceful, very
self reliant, strong willed.
(16:25):
Those are all strengths thatthey, that they possess.
Um, challenges is they can beoverly aggressive.
They can be too distrustful, uh,too closed off, and, uh, they
can be, be too confrontational.
So that's the self preservationeights.
Jeff (16:41):
mean, you can see how intense the response is to this
experience, this feeling of, ornot feeling injustice of not
facing betrayal again, um, is,uh, react as, as a very
protective style of relating tothe world.
And we call that a selfpreservation style of relating.
(17:03):
And that's how it shows up forthe type eight.
Well, tell us about the socialeight.
Adam (17:07):
Yeah, the socially, it's actually the counter type.
In this, in this case.
So they are, whereas the one toone aid is highly protective of
themselves, the social aid isvery protective of their tribe.
And as a way of protectingthemselves, they will seek to
support and protect theirpeople.
Um, They, they show up asincredibly helpful and loyal,
(17:32):
um, less aggressive, unless youcome after their group, you
know, um, I have a friend, um,she, uh, actually ran the
hospitality ministry in the, oneof the churches that I pastored,
um, years ago, and she is asocial eight and.
She, um, for a long time thoughtshe might be a two.
(17:54):
That's actually social aides canmistype as twos because they're
very helpful.
They're helpers.
They're caring.
They're pouring out for others,but you want to see her eight
side.
Um, you come after her peopleand, uh, the mama bear.
Jeff (18:09):
Yeah.
Adam (18:10):
comes out, the claws come out and the strength, the
strength shows up.
And then you feel this energy oflike, Oh, wow, there's this
visceral reaction to someone,um, in their group or someone
weaker being attacked or harmed.
And they will step in, they willstep in and use their strength
to bring about justice in thosesituations.
(18:32):
They're more outgoing, typicallymore friendly, more nurturing, a
little more mellow than theother eight, uh, subtypes.
Their strengths, as I'vementioned, is they're
protective, uh, they're justiceoriented, they're decisive, um,
they're servant hearted, bighearted.
Uh, the challenges is that theycan struggle with vulnerability.
They can be over controlling.
(18:54):
Um, and man, they can, theydon't, they don't forget easily.
They can struggle to, to, if, ifyou come across their people or
transgress their people, theycan be, it can be, they can be
tough to forgive.
They can be tough to, tough toever trust.
If you break their trust, um,you know, they can really put up
(19:14):
a boundary with, with you.
So, uh, and sometimes that'sreally healthy.
Sometimes it's not healthy.
So that is the social eight.
Let's round this out with theone to one eight.
Sometimes we call these thepossessive eights.
Possessive just means that they,they tend to, to, to come in and
kind of take over the wholeenvironment and they really sort
(19:36):
of demand everyone's attention.
I mean, they're like magnets.
Um, they enjoy the thrill ofintense stimulation and
adrenaline rushes.
These are the eights that will,they're energized by conflict.
So they might love to start anargument.
Um, if you have a one to oneeight, this is the one at the
dinner table, you know, atThanksgiving, that's going to
(19:57):
roll a grenade on the table andsay like, you know, this, this,
this, um, this is we'rerecording this episode in the
summer of 2024.
So we're coming up, this is anelection year.
So this is this.
If you have a one to one eight,this is the one in November, uh,
at Thanksgiving.
That's going to want to bring uppolitics just to.
Uh, start a fight.
(20:18):
And, um, they're energized bythis, this provocativeness and
this intense stimulation and theadrenaline of the moment, uh,
they are the most rebellious,most provocative of all, uh, of
all the different eights.
Um, they want their closestrelationships to be as strong as
them.
(20:39):
So there's this kind of come atme energy.
Like don't, they do not want tohave to be the adult and take
care of everyone.
So whereas the social eight.
Can play more of a caretakerrole and it more would be more
like the adult in the roomthat's parenting and taking care
of One to one aides do not theywant you to take care of
yourself.
I don't want to provide you youtake care of yourself Don't make
(21:00):
me do it.
Um And you know what that canthat can actually be really
healthy, you know, they'rethey're not gonna they're
they're gonna be the leastcodependent Um of probably
anyone on the enneagram.
Uh, uh, and so their strengthsare they're loyal they're
differentiated You They'reassertive.
Um, they're funny.
(21:21):
They're, you know, sometimes thestandup, they can make great
standup comedians becausethey're so provocative and they
love just to, again, throw abomb in the, in the room and
watch everybody's reaction.
It's, it can be hilarious.
Um, it can also be offensive.
So their, their challenges isthey, they can be offensive.
They can be overly possessive,too intense, and they can
(21:44):
struggle with moderation.
So Jeff, that's, that's oursubtypes for the eight.
Jeff (21:49):
Mm.
And, and you can see all of thisis around who's, who's in, who's
out, who's with me, who's loyal,uh, who's, who's in the circle
of trust, who's outside of thecircle of trust.
Um, some are going to be muchmore inclusive of that.
You can see how they resonatewith other people.
There's like, there's definitelysome counter phobic six stuff
(22:11):
that you're noticing in theeights.
There's some two stuff dynamicsthere.
We've mentioned before that someof these, um, the, uh, uh, one
to one fours can often kind ofpresent as the eights.
Um, there's definitely somethree types that, uh, that can,
I'm thinking of particularly,um, Um, was that the social
(22:35):
three that can kind of look likean eight?
Um, the, the social eights,right?
Um, and so sometimes there'ssome mistyping that can happen
here, um, when, as they resonatewith other types, but remember
they're, they're still operatingfrom the same core, um, desires,
the core fear, desire, weakness,and longing of the eight, but
(22:55):
they're, they're still, Inreference to that, how they're
dealing with injustice is thatis it related to how they're
seeing the self press?
I'm in this alone social.
I'm in this with a group and I'mgoing to use my strength to
defend all of us.
Or is it this more tightlysealed?
I'm going to have this closeknit group that I'm still going
(23:15):
to remain provocative like I'mambivalent towards them.
I'm in there in with me.
They're out with me.
But I'm so I'm going to bepossessive of them.
I'm going to be focused on thesmaller group of people.
Um, well, why don't we dive intothe type nine, which man, I feel
like I'm, I've got a lot ofnines around me, but there are a
(23:36):
lot of nines in the world.
It seems like I don't know whatthe Demographic numbers are, I
hear rumors of different things,but there does seem to be a lot
of nines in the world.
Well, let's look at the selfprez nine.
They're the comfort seekingnines.
Their focus is on personalcomfort and staying in their own
comfort zones.
(23:56):
Their passion is sloth, sothey're not fully showing up and
that's seen in how they canmerge with people.
familiar routines and physicalcomforts.
Okay.
They seek out supportiveenvironments where they are
untroubled by other people'sinfluence and expectations.
Now, you know, please understandthe idea of the passion being
(24:17):
sloth.
That's true for all threesubtypes of the nine, but this
is showing up for how they Andwhen they are slothful, they are
looking for personal comfortversus like the social nine,
which is going to look for thatcomfort whenever hurt their
relationships.
I say her because, um, they canparticularly about whenever
(24:37):
they're, um, but wheneverthey're, Relationships are at
rest.
That's when they are at restversus their own personal
comfort.
They can be in, um, they can bethe most stubborn of all of the
nines.
They're simply just unwilling tomove.
They're resistant to change ifit requires them to adjust their
pace and routines.
Um, As a matter of fact, as I'mthinking about this, uh, I think
(25:02):
my dad's probably a self preznine.
Um, he is so consistent.
I think he went to the samedonut shop before work for 20
years and got the same donut andate part of it for breakfast and
part of it for his morningbreak, uh, when he was at work.
Uh, the same chocolate twist,kind of fun.
(25:23):
Uh, just thinking about thatnow.
Um, Their, their strengths arethat they're very patient, very
grounded, and have a lot ofcommon sense, but their
challenge is that they becomecomplacent.
They're resistant to change.
They're in their zone ofcomfort, um, and they don't want
to move from it, and they can bevery stubborn to a fault.
(25:43):
Um, and you know, I think thatas I think about my dad, my mom
died.
Adam (25:48):
Uh,
Jeff (25:51):
and he's not remarried and I, you know, one of the things I
can remember him saying is that,um, he's kind of stuck in his
ways and didn't want those waysto be changed.
Um, that would be, uh, um, avery self prez nine way of
approaching it.
Well, let's talk about thesocial nines.
The social nines areparticipatory.
(26:11):
They're much more engaged.
They're the counter type,actually, of the subtypes of the
nines.
And they're going to be moreoutgoing, active, and involved
in a group or community.
Um, and instead of merging withroutines or merging with
individuals, which will be theone to one, the social nines
merge with the the group asthey, so that they can feel like
(26:31):
they belong and that their voicematters within a particular
community.
Uh, they can mistype as a typethree or type seven because of
their optimism and taskorientation.
So they're very busy.
Um, they, Um, Um, Uh,Transcripts provided by
(26:55):
Transcription Outsourcing, LLC.
And then the last one is, um,Fusion.
That's the one to one nines.
They still adopt the strategy ofmerging, but it's usually
merging with a person or aselect few people.
Um, they take on, uh, theattitudes, ideas, and feelings
(27:16):
of others, uh, since it feelstoo difficult to stand on their
own.
Um, it's very interesting whenBeth and I talk about my role as
a pastor and some of the genderroles that came along with it.
We were both responding to thesame norms and expectations, but
(27:38):
we did so radically different.
Um, I never felt like I couldmeasure up to the sort of the
patriarchal, uh, uh, head ofhousehold Christian husband.
I never felt confident in thatrole nor did I ever Because of
I'm a six I never perceived myrole as that I was the head and
(28:00):
that she was to follow I alwayswanted to do it with her because
of my lack of confidence in thatrole But she was always
deferring to me.
It was it suited her to havethose expectations.
So in her mind, she was alwaysdeferring to me because I was
the head of the home, but she'salso a one to one nine.
And so she would defer to ahusband anyway, or to a spouse,
(28:24):
um, because she was a one to onenine.
But it's interesting that wewere both trying to live up to
this expected role, but none ofneither one of us felt that we
could or capable of doing itexperience a lot of shame
regarding it.
Whenever they don't feel in linewith these small group of people
(28:45):
in relationships, um, they havesome internal anxiety because
they tend to lose themselves andtheir identity in the process of
trying to accommodate to thesepeople.
And so they're always anxiousabout our Are these other people
happy with him?
Um, if the other people aren'thappy, they often associate that
it's their fault that they'renot happy.
(29:06):
They blame themselves,internalize it, versus um,
seeing that no, they're just,this other person's having their
own experience.
This causes them an internalbattle between their desire to
be themselves, but also todesire to Nines can be very
autonomous.
They want to be their ownperson.
They They want to be undisturbedby other things around them, so
(29:29):
they want autonomy, but theyhave this strong inclination to
merge with other people, um, andso they can resemble a type four
or a type six looking andreading other people, um, their
kind.
shy, gentle, and take on, takein the world with awe and wonder
like a child, but theirchallenge is they can be self
forgetting, abandoningthemselves to the comfort of
(29:51):
others.
They can be too dependent onothers for their identity and
struggle to emerge and assertthemselves.
Um, do you want to add anything?
I mean you're, you've beenmarried to a nine for a number
of years now.
Any thoughts?
What is, what's Carrie'ssubtype?
Yeah, subtype.
Adam (30:06):
Carrie will tell you, uh, and I agree with her that her
subtype is self preservation.
Um, yeah, she, um, what is it?
What is it?
You said there at the end canbe, um, uh, uh, strong willed.
Can be, uh, you said somethinglike stubborn to a fault was, I
(30:28):
think a phrase that you used.
Um, I mean, no, she's obviouslyshe's incredible and she's a
better, better human being thanI am, but she, she definitely
notices, um, she has to fightreally hard not to fall asleep
to herself and forget herself.
Um, she's pretty attuned to herpeople, her tribe.
(30:49):
Um, she is very attuned to me.
I think I see the one to oneshow up in our relationship a
Jeff (30:54):
Mm hmm.
Adam (30:55):
a lot.
Um, but her sort of default is,is ensuring that she doesn't,
she doesn't fail to show up toherself for herself and that she
gets outside of her comfort zoneand her routines and men.
Um, God's always been, you know,throughout our 20 years of, of
marriage, he keeps putting herin situations and positions
(31:18):
where she would never putherself, uh, outside of her
comfort zone.
And she really thrives in those,I just, you know, just to honor
her.
She really does thrive whenshe's in those contexts, but if
she allowed herself, she would,um, She would, you know, she
would forget her own voice andI, you know, it just seems that
(31:39):
the Lord won't let her do that.
Oh, she keeps, keeps, keepspushing her.
Jeff (31:45):
right?
Yeah.
Adam (31:46):
yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
And so I, she's definitely, Idefinitely see the self
preservation, but I see allthree in her.
Jeff (31:52):
Yeah.
Adam (31:53):
Um, yeah, well, shall we?
Jeff (31:55):
When I think about, um, uh, particularly in Carrie's
story, you know, she, herparents had her when she was
very young or they were veryyoung.
And it's interesting you saythat self press because that was
a, that's a big part of herstory is.
just surviving in life.
And so I do wonder what, howstory and circumstances, the
(32:18):
nature, nurture stuff impactssome of these, or it seems to
bring emphasis to the idea of,um, these instincts and why we
would focus on some are oneversus the other two.
Adam (32:33):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, the brain doesn't forget,you know, if, if, if it's
hardwired for connection andprotection, that's certainly
gonna be filtered through storyand body keeps the score and the
brain remembers.
And so, yeah, I think she, the,the, she, she remembers and her
body remembers ways that she hadto use these different instincts
(32:54):
growing up.
And, um, and so, um, you know,that that's certainly at play,
certainly at play.
Jeff (33:03):
that's so interesting.
You say it that way, how theseinstincts work.
And had to use all of thembecause I, in my own life, as we
mentioned in the previousepisode, I see all three coming
up and I needed all three
Adam (33:19):
Yep.
Jeff (33:19):
my life, uh, in light of the family of origin that I had,
where I, they weren't asinvolved as we, I just said, you
know, my dad being a more selfpresenting.
Uh, what would my mom would havebeen?
Um, She probably would have beena self.
No, she was much more of asocial too.
Adam (33:42):
It's so funny, man.
My mom, I would absolutely, mymom and dad just, we just had
this conversation, uh, that mydad is a self pres nine.
My mom is a social too,
Jeff (33:54):
Wow.
it,
Adam (33:56):
know, for our listeners, for our listeners, Jeff and I
share a ton of these, uh,overlap, these things that are
the same.
So we're both married to nines,our wedding anniversaries, the
same day.
Um, our, we, but we learned onetime that our code.
To get into our iPhone.
Both of us use our old football,uh, Jersey number.
(34:17):
Um, our parents, our parents,
Jeff (34:20):
to get into my phone because I
Adam (34:21):
well, they don't, but they don't,
Jeff (34:22):
up.
I was
Adam (34:23):
don't know you're
Jeff (34:25):
a successful athlete, Adam.
So, uh, I'm on the internet.
You, you were not.
So, you wouldn't.
Matter of fact, I mean, I, let'sbe honest, Adam.
I mean, you're talking to a hallof
Adam (34:36):
Hall of famer, hall of famer.
I knew this was where we weregoing.
I knew it.
I knew it in the university ofKansas, Rock Chalk Jayhawk hall
of fame, El McCordo.
What's the bowl you guys playedin?
Jeff (34:51):
uh, that's funny that you say it that way.
What is the ball?
not
Adam (34:56):
Well, I
Jeff (34:57):
bowl games.
Adam (34:58):
I said it like that.
I
Jeff (35:00):
That's an insult.
Adam (35:04):
Emphasis on the definite article, the bowl that you guys
played in.
Hey, listen, it's more than it'smore, I've never played in a
bowl.
So, you know, there you go.
I've never, I've never played inNow the Razorbacks
Jeff (35:20):
they did.
Okay.
So I did play for the universityof Kansas when the university of
Missouri, the university ofKansas rivalry dates back to the
civil war.
It's the oldest rivalry West ofthe Mississippi, but it was once
referred to as the toilet bowl.
Um, because it was such anirrelevant game, but, uh, yes,
(35:43):
we were the 1995 Aloha bowlchampions.
Number nine the nation just toremind you that one day previous
now, we're not too bad.
We're actually looking reallygood That's a whole nother
discussion man.
These poor listeners.
They've been listening to Bethand now here we are randomly
talking about sports
Adam (36:08):
Listen, you know, you're, you're, you get what you get
with us.
You know, it's, it's allinclusive.
It's an all inclusive package.
You know, you get
Jeff (36:16):
That's right, hey, this is like a cruise
Adam (36:20):
Yeah,
Jeff (36:20):
if you want to go rest, we're gonna let you rest.
We're gonna let you heal We'regonna take you to the spa, but
sometimes we need to take you tothe dance party
Adam (36:28):
that's right.
And
Jeff (36:29):
We need to take you to the comedy show, like
Adam (36:32):
Sometimes we got to hit up the buffet, you know, or,
Jeff (36:36):
this is El Mocordo and the Jackal cruise line.
Adam (36:41):
but it's funny to bring it all the way back.
I just realizing that even ourparents, I've known that you're,
you know, I've known that our,both our parents shared an
Engram type, but even the samesubtype is interesting.
Um, fascinating, fascinatingstuff, my friend.
Jeff (36:55):
Hey, well, let's dive into the last one.
This is going to finish out ourseries here.
The, the type ones, you know,they're always number one in our
hearts, but sometimes they'relast on the, the Enneagram walk
in the wheel.
Adam (37:07):
Yeah, Jesus said the last will be first and
Jeff (37:10):
Of course, ones would love to think that.
Adam (37:13):
Ones would love to think that so we save the best for
last all you type ones Selfpreservation ones.
These are uh, these are the mostperfectionistic of all the type
one subtypes Um, but they'rereally focused on perfecting
themselves More than they'reperfecting others.
So it's not that you're notgonna You're not gonna
experience them Typically asbeing more judgmental, the more
(37:36):
judgmental type or selfrighteous type where they're
kind of judging you or trying toperfect you, their inner critic
is aimed, uh, more so atthemselves and they want to
refine themselves in all areasof life, nutrition, fitness,
finances, you name it, uh,image.
I mean, they, they want toconstantly grow and get better
in all of these areas.
(37:56):
And they, they tend to represstheir resentment and instead
they use their energy to Um, toreally refine themselves.
Like I said, perfect themselves.
Uh, people experience them aswarm and friendly.
Um, they, uh, they don't allowothers to see the degree to
which their inner critic isdriving and berating them.
They, it's a, they feel thatit's a sin to be angry.
(38:20):
So it's, or it's wrong.
You know, that's the thing istype ones are afraid of being
wrong or doing bad or being bad.
And so they don't want you to,they don't want you to know that
they're angry.
They repress their anger and youexperience a lot of warmth from
them.
Um, their strengths are thatthey're organized, structured,
punctual.
(38:40):
They have a particular gift forbringing order to chaos.
Um, so they're great for that.
Uh, challenges can be overlycritical of themselves, can be
rigid, can struggle to relax.
There can be almost a type six,uh, self preservation, six
anxious energy to a type one.
(39:02):
Um, so if, if you're on vacationwith them, you're going to have
to help them first of all, takea vacation.
And then when they take avacation, take the vacation, you
know, they're the stereotype isif you have a self preservation
one on vacation, they're theones who are going to over
program the vacation.
Everything is.
Everything is mapped out.
We got to do this.
Then we're going to do that.
And we're going to go from hereto do this.
We're going to do that.
(39:23):
And you know, meanwhile, youknow, your sevens and, and your
eights and anybody else who's onthe vacation are like, wait a
minute, let's, let's relax.
Uh, let's have some fun.
And so you might have to helpyourself preservation one
friends to, uh, you know, uh,like loosen up the tie a little
bit, or, Pour that second drink,you know, like have, have some
(39:48):
fun, relax.
Um, all right, social, socialones.
Sometimes we call these theteachers.
Um, this subtype sees themselvesas a role model.
They, they, uh, pride themselvesin finding the right way to do
something and having the perfectstance on all issues and all
problems.
(40:09):
Um, they, they likedemonstrating their correct
views and their correct ways toothers.
Um, they can come across asrigid, uh, not allow much room
for other perspectives or otherinterpretations.
It can be sort of a my way orthe highway sometimes with a
social one.
Um, but again, They're, they'rejust, they're trying to reform
(40:30):
the group.
So whereas a self preservationone is focused on reforming
themselves, the social onestrying to do good by the group
that it's, it's sometimes it's,they're not, they're not trying
to come across judgmental.
They think they're honestlydoing what's best for their
group.
And so they have these ideas,these ideals, these
perspectives, these right ways,and they're going to try to
enforce those standards.
(40:52):
Onto the group now that can comeacross as judgmental.
Um, there's a high moralstandard And it can be really
hard for, for social ones to notmeasure every other opinion or
every other point of viewagainst those high standards.
Their high moral compass is astrength.
I mean, that's the strengths ofthe social ones is the high
(41:13):
moral compass.
They're great teachers, strongcapacity for leadership, lots of
dedication, challenges.
If they're not careful, again,they're going to manifest as
self righteous.
They're going to be intolerant.
Of anybody that's different fromthem or, you know, believes
differently or has a differentpoint of view and they can
struggle to accept those who aredifferent.
And that can be a challenge.
(41:33):
You can see how that couldreally cause some, some problems
in their, in their groups.
Um, lastly, the one to one ones,uh, we call these the zealous
ones.
This is your counter type, um,because they're more expressive
of their anger.
They're, they're not, they'redeeply in touch with their anger
and they're more expressive ofit.
(41:56):
They're more honest about it.
They're, they're a bit moreimpulsive than other ones.
Um, so whereas other ones kindof are straight laced,
Organized, put together, kind ofmanifesting that sort of image.
Uh, a, a one to one type one,uh, is going to be, you know,
more impulsive.
I'm angry and I'm gonna let youknow about it.
(42:17):
Sometimes they can even mistypeas an eight.
For that reason, there,Intensely focused on reforming
and perfecting, um, others, but,but, you know, again, it's
focused on one to onerelationships where not, not,
not, not society as a whole,but, but, um, just on a select
few people, they feel a personalresponsibility to change people
(42:40):
for the better.
And, um, they know the right waythat things should be done.
And they're not afraid to, tovoice that passionately.
Their strengths are, they aregreat reformers.
I mean, they really are.
And they're, they're verypassionate.
They have a lot of, they canhave a lot of healthy anger.
You know, healthy anger is justpassion.
(43:01):
Um, and that, that healthy angercan get some things done.
It really can.
Now the challenge is, is thatthey can be overly judgmental.
They can be too intense.
And if they're not careful, theycan overstep their boundaries
and lay their ways and theirprinciples onto other people.
And that of course can causefrustration and hurt when that
happens.
So they have to be careful withthat.
(43:23):
So Jeff, that is the subtypesfor our, our type one friends.
Jeff (43:28):
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, everybody, we really hopethat you've uh, enjoyed uh, just
seeing types through a radicallydifferent lens that may be types
that, you know, You're verysurprised by that.
How can they be that type and beso different than what our
expectations are?
Stereotypes might be, butknowing the lens of the subtypes
(43:49):
really gives us insight into howpeople work and why they're
presenting to us in particularways and the opportunity for us
to move towards them withcuriosity and with compassion to
ourselves.
And also to other peoplerealize, you know, like, I love
the way that, um, Adam's beenphrasing it through this series
(44:10):
about that.
We were created to look forconnection and protection, and
these are these instincts areways in which we go about doing
it, but through the style of anEnneagram style of relating.
So we hope you've appreciatedthis.
Um, be sure to check out theshow notes.
There's going to beopportunities.
We've got downloads, freedownloads for you to have a
(44:31):
summary of these subtypes andPDF form, uh, be sure to check
out the, your Enneagram coachblog, where there'll be a, uh,
blog there that'll list out allof this in text form that you
can come back to at any time,whenever you are in
conversations with your friendsand family members, but we've
hope you've enjoyed thissession.
series as we've talked throughthe different subtypes, uh, and
(44:52):
the instincts and how they showup for each of the Enneagram
types.
Um, we look, hopefully you'regoing to be staying around with
Adam and I as we, uh, continueto embark and kind of take, uh,
give Beth a break and, um, Yeah,step in for her and continuing
to offer you some greatEnneagram content.
That's going to help you toexperience your and understand
yourself with astonishingclarity.
(45:14):
Because our real dream and hopeis, is that you'd be able to
break free from the fear, selfcondemnation and shame to
experience the kindness, thelove, the compassion of having a
Intimate relationship with JesusChrist.
Uh, Adam, is there anything elseyou'd like to say before we go?
Adam (45:32):
Yeah, I just hope that all of you will continue to join
Jeff and myself on this virtual,all inclusive Enneagram journey
cruise ship that you're on.
And
Jeff (45:44):
That's going to be our new closing moving forward, Adam.
That's good.
It's great
Adam (45:48):
That's right.
You're going to get
Jeff (45:50):
on a board.
We're expecting you.
Adam (45:57):
All I can think about.
Yeah, it is.
And all I can think about now isthe Gilligan Island song.
Jeff (46:02):
Oh, that's probably more appropriate.
Yeah.
Adam (46:06):
because every single, every single podcast episode we
do could easily be a three hourtour.
It's like anybody else could dothis episode in 30 minutes and
you've got two sixes on herethat, oh my gosh, we could go on
Jeff (46:24):
I thought it was going to be this elevated, we're on a
cruise, no, we're, this isGilligan's Island.
That's all it is.
Adam (46:32):
That's all it is.
And you're stuck with us.
And we hope you'll stay stuckwith us we like being stuck with
you.
Jeff (46:45):
Well be sure, uh, to get your ticket to ride, uh, to hit,
smash that subscribe button anduh, be sure to check in with us
next time.
We'll see you
Adam (46:56):
We really, we really love hanging out with you guys.
And Jeff, I love doing this withyou.
And we'll be excited to haveBeth back.
And we're also very excited togive her a much needed
sabbatical.
And so, um, friends remember,um, as we say each week in each
episode, the Enneagram Uh, onlyreveals your need for Jesus, not
your need to work harder.
It's the gospel that transformsus.
(47:17):
Thanks for joining us.
And we'll see you in the nextepisode..
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