September 9, 2024 • 32 mins
In this episode, we're diving deep into the fascinating world of Lines and Arrows within the Enneagram. We'll explore how these connections reveal patterns of stress and growth in your personality.
Key Takeaways:
- Define Stress and Growth: Understand what it means to move along these lines during stress and growth.
- Blind Spots and Converging Points: Learn about the often overlooked paths in your Enneagram type and how recognizing them can lead to personal development.
- Parts of a Whole: We'll explain how each line and arrow is a path to essential parts of your heart, revealing the full complexity of your personality.
Thank you to our guest:
Adam Breckenridge - https://myenneagramcoach.com/coach/adam-breckenridge/
We have many more amazing Enneagram for Moms resources at www.enneagramformoms.com.
FREE Enneagram resources here: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/podcastresources
Find an Enneagram Coach - https://myenneagramcoach.com/
Become an Enneagram Coach Course - https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/bec
#Enneagram #PersonalityTypes #EnneagramCoach
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeff (00:00):
So what's up with these lines and arrows on the
(00:02):
Enneagram symbol?
Well, that's the topic oftoday's podcast on your
Enneagram coach, the podcast,where we have helped millions of
people around the world discoverand explore in order to become
the person that they've alwayslonged to be.
I'm Jeff McCord, co founder andCEO of your Enneagram coach.
And I'm joined today with ourdirector of coaching, Adam
(00:24):
Breckenridge.
Thanks so much.
Adam, Good to have you.
Adam (00:27):
Good to be with you.
Jeff (00:28):
Now, we're recording this the day after the uh, Chiefs
Ravens game.
That was a pretty exciting game.
Adam (00:35):
One by a toe, one by a toe.
But, you know, as someone toldme, uh, I just got off of
another call and they said, Hey,I heard that, uh, there was a
Taylor Swift game last night.
And I said, yeah, there was.
And Taylor and Taylor Swift wonby a toe.
So if, if you don't get thereferences, that's okay.
You're, you still belong withus.
You're in the right spot.
Jeff (00:55):
Well, for the next few episodes, we're going to be
discussing the lines and thearrows of the Enneagram symbol.
Now, you may have wondered ifthe Enneagram symbol itself has
any significance or did someonesimply just choose a geometrics
figure?
Uh, well, these lines andsometimes they're shown as
arrows.
They mean a lot.
And not only are we going tohelp you to understand what they
(01:17):
mean, but in future episodes,we're actually going to go walk
through and help you to learnhow to practice self coaching or
leadership, uh, based upon yourunderstanding of the two lines
and arrows that actually extendfrom your main type.
But you may have noted also thatI'm using terms like lines and
arrows, uh, because differentlogos actually have, sometimes
(01:40):
there's just a simple line,sometimes there's an arrow.
Well, the reason why thatsometimes teachers use the
arrows to denote or kind ofcommunicate the there's a
dynamic aspect to the Enneagram,is that these.
Other numbers are actually partof us and we move towards or
begin to adopt some of thestrategies, the behaviors, the
(02:04):
relational style of these othernumbers.
So the Enneagram is not static.
Um, so we're not just one thingwhere a lot of different things
that are happening inside of us.
So Adam, once you take this alittle bit further, because
we've had some greatconversations Particularly
highlighting this idea, butthrough the idea of the movie
inside out, which has been verypopular these days, and we've
(02:27):
been, we've already watchedinside out twice now.
But, uh, why don't you tell us alittle bit more about some of
your thoughts?
Adam (02:32):
Yeah.
I think if you want a greatillustration of what it looks
like, that our personality isnot dynamic, but it's static.
As you said, I think you see itin a movie inside out.
I mean, we're, we're huge fans.
I have three daughters.
Um, we we've, we've, we'vewatched the original, you know,
the, the first inside outseveral times, we went to the
movies to see in the theatersinside out too, and absolutely
(02:54):
loved it.
you know, each of the, each ofthe four.
Numbers is like each of thecharacteristics and inside out.
Think of them like your internalfamily or what works for me is
sometimes thinking about themlike, you know, my internal
team.
And I hear you use that languagea lot, Jeff, for yourself.
You know, you have team meetingswith your, with these parts of
yourself,
Jeff (03:14):
active, who's trying to lead the team, and who's trying
to quarterback.
Adam (03:18):
Exactly.
And in the movie, Inside Out,each character represents an
emotion and, you know, fortheatrical purposes, each
character has its ownpersonality as well.
And they have, they have theirown responses, they have their
own core motivations, whichmeans they have their own fears,
desires, weaknesses, andlongings.
then each type is fighting overthe control board.
(03:39):
That's the thing.
You have Riley, the maincharacter in the and all these
inner.
Parts of Riley, that's thesepersonified emotions that are
parts of her.
They're all trying to take overthe control board out of their
own interest.
And the same is true about eachof the Enneagram connecting
types.
Although, you know, they don'trepresent an emotion.
(04:01):
They do represent a personalityand they have their own
responses.
They have their own coremotivations, fears, desires,
weaknesses, and longings.
And each of them is trying totake control out of their own
interests.
Another way I would say that is.
they're trying to help you.
They're not just control freaks,but they're, they're trying to
(04:22):
drive and steer you in the, inthe direction that they feel
like is best for you in anygiven moment and situation.
So specifically in this episode,we're going to be talking about
the two numbers connected by thelines or sometimes arrows.
And each of the two Enneagramtypes that we are connected to
by, by a line can show up Youknow, in a healthy way or an
(04:42):
unhealthy And so, you know, Iwant you to remember this cause
this is really important.
It's like, we don't become thosetypes.
So it's not like, you know, as asix, I don't become a three or a
nine.
Um, cause that's, those are thetwo numbers I'm connected to by
the lines or arrows, but we dotake on the core motivations and
(05:03):
the relational strategies ofthose types to meet our Um, I
just got out of a conversation,Jeff, where we were talking
about how the human brain, whichis a mosaic of parts.
And you and I've talked aboutthis on this podcast before, but
the human brain is designed todo two things.
Basically, if you want to bereductionistic, it's like, it's
(05:23):
trying to help us connect andprotect, you know, it's designed
to connect and protect.
I feel like that's one way oflooking at these, these two
lines, these two other numberscan show up in healthy or
unhealthy ways based on howthey're trying to do that for
you.
How are they trying to withtheir strategies?
Right.
And their core motivations thatthey're bringing to the table.
(05:44):
They're trying to help youconnect and
Jeff (05:48):
Right.
Adam (05:50):
fascinating.
Jeff (05:50):
we're going to come back to this, uh, illustration
because there's some scenes inthe movie that give us, even
highlight even further, thedynamic parts, uh, of our
personality, particularlythrough the lens of the
Enneagram, uh, because it, noone character in the movie just
serves kind of one purpose.
They end up.
Mm beginning to understand thatthe healthiest version of all of
(06:13):
Riley's internal family or team,um, actually, whenever they're
all contributing is when they'reat their healthiest.
So we're going to come back tothat because one of the
important things to understandabout these lines is that.
The basic way of understandingthe lines and the arrows is that
most Enneagram teachers willstart with what's called the
(06:34):
stress path or the growth path.
The stress path is adopting theunhealthy, uh, attributes of the
body.
of that other type.
Now the growth path is adaptingthe healthier attributes of
that.
You don't become that type, butyou start to embrace some of the
strategies, whether healthy orunhealthy attributes of that
(06:56):
other So when each type is understress, they tend to take on
some of the average to unhealthyof the connecting type.
Um, that the arrow points to nowon the opposite side, when a
person is operating from ahealthier self, they begin to
relax and let go of theirpersonalities constraints, and
(07:16):
they move towards the healthierlevels of the connecting type
while when, when they'reactually growing.
So Adam, as a type six, we'reconnected to both the three and
the nine, so as a type six.
How do you notice the stresspath and the growth path showing
(07:38):
up for you?
Adam (07:40):
Yes.
So as a type six, the stresspath is, is that six is move
toward the average to unhealthytype I want to keep beating that
drum of we don't become typethrees, but we do gravitate over
those arrows, show us movingover, gravitating over to borrow
(08:01):
from, you know, some of theunhealthy attributes And we see
that showing up.
And so for me.
It usually looks like, um,doubling down on performance and
work.
You know, I can become as a typesix with my sense of duty and
responsibility and thenborrowing from the drivenness,
(08:23):
uh, of, of the, you know, andthe unhealthy side of the type
three is driven as I can becomea workaholic, um, in Crete,
which creates an increasedanxiety for me.
Um, and it's really, it's a,it's a part of me that wants to
help me by, you know, protect meby overworking, doing more.
Um, there's, it's kind of this,this unhealthy type three part
(08:46):
shows up at almost like an innerdriver.
That's, that's, it's It pushesme to do better, try harder, do
more, excel, you know, and I canalso notice, you know, shame and
comparison.
Like there's a, comparisondriven nature to this thing
where I can really start to lookaround me and see.
And I'm measuring up, you know,where am I on the invisible
(09:09):
ladder compared to everybodyelse in my behind them or ahead
of them?
There's a fear of failure thatgets really ramped up, you know,
sixes battle with fear andthoughts of you know Fearful
thoughts and so I can see I cannotice when this type showing up
when those fearful, anxiousthoughts were around failing and
looking like a failure, beingbeing exposed as a failure.
(09:32):
Um, and so that's kind of,that's kind of the stress.
That's sort of the stress path.
Now the growth path for a typesix is the healthy side of nine.
And so, man, I would say thispart of me shows up and brings
like a, an objective, it kind ofcuts through the noise of the
inner committee and brings sortof an object, a heavy dose of
(09:56):
objective reality.
Um, it's, it gives me a gift ofslowing down, stilling my
anxious thoughts, quieting myanxious thoughts.
It brings up, there's a peacethat comes to my anxiety.
Um, and you know, again, like ithelps me think more objectively
instead of getting caught up inthat whirlwind of my, inner
(10:17):
committee.
So I love the strength of thatgift.
And we'll talk about thestrength of the type three in a
minute.
So it's not like the three onlybrings it's it's unhelpful,
unhelpful strategies, but in thestress path, it's the, uh,
unhealthy type three strategies.
And in the growth path, ithappens to be the healthy type
nine strategies.
So I, you know, I know you're asix as well, Jeff.
(10:39):
So what about you?
How do you see this stress andgrowth
Jeff (10:43):
one of the funny things is, um, so, you know, in our
book, More Than Your Number, um,we've been working with a
particular, therapeutic modalitycalled internal family And, um,
Years ago, whenever we firststarted learning about it, um, I
started naming, uh, all of myparts.
And so, uh, when I think aboutthe three part of my heart, uh,
(11:06):
I, his name is Charlie.
Um, he, uh, it's after a friendwho I dearly love and
appreciate.
But I, I can remember one time,um, we were, uh, He was our real
estate agent and he was helpingus sell our home and, uh, we
were, uh, preparing our home andhe had hired a contractor to
help stage our house.
And, and so as he was kind ofnetworking and talking with that
(11:28):
person, um, I felt like we kindof lost the tension and, but I
noticed that about myself, thatin certain I'm always trying to
win people.
And I do that through a numberof different ways.
One of the funny ways that thatshows up in my life, um, is, uh,
(11:49):
for Halloween, I go all out forthe neighbors.
We don't have young kidsanymore.
Our kids are older, but, uh, weserve cotton candy.
We serve.
Popcorn, we get toys like littlerubber duckies.
I've even bought a big screen soI could show kind of a movie in
the background.
Um, I've got a fairly largesound, a Sonos sound system.
So I bring that outside to playmusic.
(12:10):
And, uh, it, I, I just, I noticein myself, I'm trying to win my
neighbors
Adam (12:17):
hmm.
Jeff (12:18):
and which is a very three aspect cause there's, there's
behind that is, uh, do theyactually like me, do they?
Do they respect And so I getcaught up into the image.
So that's, that's the three partof my heart.
And he brings gifts as well.
And so we'll talk about that.
Like you mentioned that it's notjust an either or, it's a both
(12:39):
Um, the other part, the stresspath, um, well, that was the
stress path, but the growth pathto nine, I call, uh, my nine
part, I call him Phil.
And I got that from the ideafrom Dan Allen, who talks about
how we address our longings aspeople.
We try to fill.
numb or blind ourselves to ourlongings and And so oftentimes,
(12:59):
um, you know, Phil in one sensetries to numb himself, but in
another sense, Phil is the onewho reminds me that my presence
matters.
Now, the core, Motivation fornine is to the fear that their
presence doesn't matter.
I've noticed that as a six, I amanxiously trying to insert my
(13:21):
presence into the lie, intosituations, trying to fix things
or prove my loyalty.
And I remember a certain seasonwhere, uh, as a pastor and I was
usually the number two guy, kindof the executive pastor type
role where my, my position wasimportant.
And I was involved in a lot ofthings.
And I just recognized that Icould go into a meeting without
(13:42):
trying to make my presence feltI, I was enough as I was.
And Phil was a part of me thatcould just remain quiet and
listen and only needing to showup whenever I absolutely needed
to show up for our And so Philwas a an assured, calming, uh,
non anxious presence versus thekind of six anxious, I'm going
(14:07):
to kind of get big or getanxious or feel like I need to
contribute to kind of save thesituation.
So that's, those are two waysthat it shows up.
Phil and Charlie, they're bigparts of my team and uh, they,
yeah, I often experience themshowing up in my life I, I'm
sure you probably feel, feelboth Charlie and Phil showing up
in my leadership of our team ofthe YEC team, right?
Adam (14:31):
No comment.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I
Jeff (14:38):
Hey, Jeff, I wish Phil would show up a little more
often up.
Adam (14:44):
no, no, I will.
So to, to, to honor you in allseriousness, I've told you many
times that I notice one of thethings I really value about your
and have and friendship is thereis a calm, it's funny.
Cause you may not.
You may not feel this inside,but that's usually the way it is
(15:04):
with sixes.
It's like other peopleexperience experience you as,
you know, people say this to meall the time.
Like if I've, if I, when I've,I've been in preaching teaching
or like, I hate to use thisterm, but like front stage
leadership roles my whole life.
Whereas I feel like I belongbackstage and that's where I
feel more comfortable.
I don't feel comfortable ascomfortable on a stage, you
know, leading in those contexts,but everybody's always said,
(15:26):
what?
You seem so natural and calm.
And I'm like, well, that's nothow I feel, you know, inside.
But I, I think it's that ninegift, you know, that shows up
and brings a manifestation ofobjectivity, calm, peace.
And I would, I would definitelysay that's the, that's the
overarching
Jeff (15:46):
would say for, for me, it's interesting to say that
cause I, I have learned topractice, uh, silence and
solitude and it's.
It's really the feel, the feelpart of my heart that, uh, that
gives me the strength and giftsnecessary in order to look into
the flywheel and to be patientenough for the flywheel of my
(16:08):
thoughts and my anxieties tocalm down.
Adam (16:11):
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Jeff (16:14):
Well, there's actually two other parts as well and that
oftentimes gets missed and maybeit's because it's more
complicated and it's not asexperienced as often, but there,
these two concepts are really,really helpful.
And we're going to illustratethis with Inside Out 2 and, uh,
cause they do both of these, Ithink do show up in the movie,
but, um, these two are, so wehave the growth path and the
(16:37):
stress path.
And we also have somethingcalled the blind spot.
And the converging path.
Now, let's talk about the blindspot first.
So when a person is around thosewho are the most, who they're
most comfortable with, likefamily members or very, very
close they may display theunhealthy characteristics of
(16:57):
their blind spot path.
So in, for the sixes and nines,what that means is that it's the
nine part of them that shows upas the growth path.
Can also, we can show theunhealthy attributes of and
that's called the blind spotNow, the people typically don't
see these characteristics inthemselves, which is why it's
called the blind And they avoidacting out these characteristics
(17:20):
with everyday people, butunknowingly will use them
whenever they're around theirclosest family members or their
closest The converging path isthat the healthiest expressions
of who we are as people.
And after making progress on ourgrowth path, a person can reach
the healthiest point of theirtype, which is where the
healthiest, all of theirhealthiest types, all of the
(17:43):
connecting types come together.
And here they have access to thebest qualities of their main
type, their growth path, and thehealthiest attributes of their
stress type.
So, rather than just the six,the three, which may be a stress
path, actually we start to adaptsome of the healthier behaviors
and the healthier interest ofthe type And we call that the
(18:04):
converging type.
I had him try to illustrate thiswith Inside Out because it,
this, you start to see how themovie is so dynamic and how it
relates to the Enneagram, um,and how we can show up in all of
these healthy and unhealthy
Adam (18:20):
Oh, it's so good.
And any Graham enthusiast and,and IFS nerds and practitioners
love inside out because it, itreally does illustrate what's
going on, you know, inside,inside a human being.
So you remember how each typetries to lead Riley reactively,
like they're all reacting.
(18:41):
They're, they're all trying totake over the control board and
they're, they're only thinkingfrom their perspective, trying
to protect.
Riley or help her respond tolife situations.
Again, they're trying to helpher connect and protect.
Um, let's think about that asthe stress path.
You know, uh, uh, when, wheneach type is trying to lead
(19:02):
Riley, when she, when she needsthem, they're, they're less
reactive, think of that as thegrowth path.
Uh, what isn't captured in themovie, which would be, you know,
what would have made us looklike geniuses is the, is the
blind spot.
You know, um, we, we might get aglimpse into this and inside out
to when they show Riley firstexperiencing puberty, she's
(19:24):
going through, you know, I thinkshe's like in middle school.
She's moving to a new school.
It's a really, you know,anxious, tumultuous time.
Anxiety plays a huge role in the
Jeff (19:35):
Well, I remember how, you know, whenever she's talking to
her mom and talking to her dadand she's very reactive
Adam (19:40):
Oh,
Jeff (19:41):
She would never be that reactive with her coaches or her
peers, but just showing how itshows up in private or with her
closest relationships may be asense to where it's kind of a
blind spot path.
I don't want to take theillustration too far, but it
could could be a
Adam (19:58):
it.
kind of feels that way though.
It's like, cause you're, likeyou said, like her, she knows
not to show up that way with ateacher or she's not going to
show up that way with her peergroup.
She doesn't want to lose herplace with but she feels secure
with mom and dad so she can pushharder, swing harder.
You know, uh, and test thestrength of the attachment.
And she ultimately knows like Ican rage here.
(20:21):
I can, you know, I can saythings, I can show a side of
myself and it, it does kind offit with that blind spot path.
Lastly, you know, in bothmovies, you see this, this
incredible journey of joy andsadness, learning to befriend
one another, um, and worktogether and become integrated
and an inside out to joy andanxiety.
(20:42):
Uh, as I mentioned, anxiety is ahuge part of Riley and a main
character in the film, played bythe wonderful Maya Hawk, uh, to
all you stranger things, fansout there.
Um, but they come together.
And as a matter of fact, many ofthe parts come together,
integrating with one another.
And this would be the convergingpath that you see illustrated in
(21:03):
Inside Out 2.
So.
Let's move from imagination toreal life.
And let's Jeff, let's talk aboutsome examples from our own
lives.
And we can start with you.
How do you notice, you know,you've talked about stress and
growth How do you notice theblind spot and the converging
paths showing up for you?
Jeff (21:21):
Well the blind spot for me, well, let's go back to phil
So phil can be assured of hispresence not feeling like he
needs to press in the world butphil Man, he can eat some taco
bell
Adam (21:34):
Run for the border.
Jeff (21:36):
all of my dissociative behaviors to try to numb the
Endless flywheel of my mind.
Like Phil is right there to comeonline to help me to do that.
Now that could be watching aNetflix series.
Um, uh, that could be, uh, foodfor me.
There are a number of differentways, but movies and TV are
(21:57):
typically in food or two bigones of how Phil can come on.
And a lot of people don't seethat about me.
Uh, matter of fact, uh, Iusually don't eat Taco Bell with
other people.
Um, it's, like this privateadults.
I almost feel like a little kidagain.
Uh, and Taco Bell meant a lot inmy story.
(22:17):
Uh, whenever, uh, I was growingup, my mom was ill.
My dad would, well, sometimes mymom would go a lot of times to
go in the hospital.
And so my dad would, uh, take meout for dinner and I would eat a
lot.
And so.
One of the cheap places to go isTaco Bell.
So that's always been kind of a,a nurturing, uh, low place for
me to go to.
Adam (22:38):
Yeah.
Jeff (22:38):
So running to the border was comforting to Jeff running
to the border.
It's always but on the otherside, on the converging side.
So this is where this.
Charlie part of me, um, comesalive.
So rather than reacting to lifeand wanting to kind of back away
in anxiety, Charlie's the onewho really inspires me.
That's more goal oriented andaction oriented.
(23:02):
Um, it moves me through theanxiety to make decisions now,
not the anxious way of making adecision just to get through it,
but to be purposeful, to beintentional, uh, to be efficient
and planned.
I think.
transitioning from ministryinto, um, entrepreneurial ship
and helping Beth to create yourEnneagram That's where a large
(23:23):
part of that came online.
Uh, the woo, the, you think ofstrength finders, woo is a big,
one of my top five.
Uh, Charlie is the one thatcarries woo.
And, uh, to be able to, Bringtogether a team to bring
together all of the differentcontractors and consultants and
coaches to become what yourEnneagram coach was.
(23:44):
That was, Charlie was playing abig role in my How do these two
things show for you, Adam?
Adam (23:50):
Well, can I just connect with you first on your Taco Bell
story?
Cause you, you, you and I havediscovered in our, in our
friendship journey that there'sso many things that overlap.
Like we both use our, our
Jeff (24:00):
I love that.
We have a friendship journey.
Adam (24:03):
we do.
We do.
Jeff (24:04):
Okay.
Adam (24:06):
We do.
And, and, and I like where it'sgoing, but you know, what's
funny is we, you know, ourwedding anniversary is the same.
Our couple type combo with ourspouse is the same.
We're both merit six is marriedto nines.
Um, we, you know, uh, our, yourparents, Enneagram types and my
parents, Enneagram types are thesame.
We both use our high schoolfootball number for our iPhone
(24:28):
passcode.
Uh, there's so many things, butyou know, I also had.
And I would say unhealthyattachments, Taco Bell.
And one of the
Jeff (24:38):
Well, hold on, hold on.
Did I say it was unhealthy?
I just said I had
Adam (24:42):
I'm saying I'm saying mine was, and this is,
Jeff (24:45):
Well, that's fine.
If it was for you, sure.
Adam (24:48):
well, let me tell you.
Jeff (24:51):
I remember one time I was in the drive thru line.
Beth had gone to St.
Louis, I think.
And, uh, it was when iPhonefinder first came out and she
screenshotted me in the line.
I'm like, no, I'm not, I don'tknow what you're talking about.
Adam (25:05):
You got
Jeff (25:05):
like you're in the drive thru line.
Adam (25:06):
You look, yeah.
It looks like you're sitting inTaco Bell.
Yeah.
I'm about to
Jeff (25:10):
I'm lonely, Beth.
Adam (25:11):
yeah, I'm lonely.
And what I need is, uh, some ofthis Diablo you know what I'm
saying?
On like a chill on like a chilicheese burrito or three, three
meat and cheese burrito orwhatever.
So, but here's, here's the, myembarrassing story that I'll
tell everybody who's is one timewhen Carrie and I were trying to
(25:34):
buy a house in Kansas city.
Uh, I actually made a decisionon what house we were going to
buy based on how close it was toTaco Bell.
And my rule of thumb was itcan't be more than two miles.
(25:59):
I was like, honey,
Jeff (26:00):
I don't know if that's a setting on Zillow now.
the nearest
Adam (26:06):
the nearest
Jeff (26:09):
Homes for sale within two miles of Taco Bell.
Adam (26:12):
I was like, if it's more than two miles, it's going to be
way too Cause we would make arun for the border all the time.
I mean, back then the value menuwas we could both for 6, eat And
be stuffed, you know?
So it's like, it was, just whatwe did, what we had to
Jeff (26:25):
they're all sophisticated man.
Yeah, they're trying to the
Adam (26:30):
of them, some of them serve alcohol and stuff.
It's like, yeah, all
Jeff (26:33):
Are you serious?
Adam (26:35):
Yes, absolutely.
Jeff (26:36):
not know this
Adam (26:37):
Yeah.
Look it up, Okay.
Jeff (26:41):
I mean that just speaks to the blind spot path for you But
what about the converging?
Adam (26:47):
Yeah, it is my blind spot path.
Yeah.
I think blind spot path.
I can be a little more checkedout, a little more comfort.
Seeking a little more, a littlemore numbing, uh, type, you
know, type behaviors is how itusually shows up.
Um, converging for me, you know,the type six moves toward the
healthy side of three.
(27:08):
And kind of like you said, itgives me with, there's a, just a
strong, overwhelming sense ofself confidence.
I really feel like I'm at mybest self.
It's when I, it's when I havelanded at trusting myself and
the self doubt gets very quiet,the imposter syndrome sort of
melts away and I kind of emergeand I noticed that, you know,
(27:29):
And I'm able to humbly, I'm ableto stand and deliver.
I'm able to steward a bigmoment.
You know, this is things thatthrees, threes just live there,
you know?
And I feel like when this part,part of my heart shows up, it
gives me the ability to strivefor excellence without over
identifying with it.
You know, uh, there's, there's asense of, I can compete in a way
(27:51):
that brings out the best in meand, and really stand and own a
moment, um, being my best self.
You know?
Jeff (28:00):
Oh, and I noticed that about you and with our team.
I mean, there, uh, in this mostrecent season, you've stepped up
in a way that, uh, just kind ofkindly, um, but with strength,
uh, with courage, uh, kind ofstepped into the gap, uh, and
helped us with this new season.
So, um, I certainly see thatpart of you.
Have you named these parts?
Adam (28:21):
Thanks, man.
Thank you for that.
Um, you know, I haven't, um, andI really, uh, maybe we should do
it live right here right now.
Um, no, I, I, uh,
Jeff (28:33):
Well, naming is important in the Bible, so you got to
think of something significant.
I wouldn't want to put you onthe and here's why I name my
parts is that it readily helpsme to identify them,
particularly when I talk aboutteam meetings in the morning.
So it could be where it's on mymorning walk.
It could in the shower, what,just the moment that I have and
I just start.
going through the various partsof my Enneagram and, ask what,
(28:57):
what are the things that I'mthinking about, what I'm worried
about, concerned about, what amI inclined to do, am I inclined
to want to check out today, uh,am I interested in reading, uh,
whereas What am I working onright now?
And these having names helps meto more readily identify these
parts so that I'm not Just kindof leaving them ambiguous out
(29:19):
there
Adam (29:19):
Yep.
Totally agree.
I'll work on that.
Jeff (29:23):
Well a few summary points, uh before we end today's
episode, but a couple of a fewthings number one um, these were
connected to These two types ina very dynamic way.
We don't become these but theselines and arrows speak to the
dynamic reality of the Enneagramis that we start to take on some
of the motivation and strategiesof these other types in order to
have our needs met.
(29:44):
Now we do that in both healthy.
and unhealthy ways.
So it's not just a stress andgrowth path, uh, but we actually
do both, uh, both and the goodand the bad, the healthy and the
unhealthy.
And so we added on to this, theblind spot path, which is where
around our close relationships,whether it be family or friends
and the converging fat path,whenever we're at our Now,
(30:06):
remember we don't become thesetypes, but if you do take an
assessment, sometimes you mayoverly identify with those types
and think they're, so sometimesyou use sort of.
Triangulate, uh, what your maintype is by just looking at,
well, is that a place that I goto whenever I'm healthy?
Is that a place that I go towhen I'm And then, um, yeah,
it's just a fun way to thinkabout inside out that actually
(30:27):
gives us, uh, examples of whatall of this looks like in
action, uh, but in, uh, in a funway, in an imaginary way.
So, uh, thanks, uh, Adam, forcontributing that.
I thought it was a very helpfulillustration.
Adam (30:40):
Yeah.
So
Jeff (30:41):
Well, thanks, Adam.
Thanks again for joining us forour discussion about the lines
and arrows.
And if you found this helpful,be sure to like, and subscribe,
uh, however you're listening tothis podcast.
And don't forget to ask us yourquestions.
Adam and I will be checking, uh,on YouTube as well as on, uh,
social media.
If you guys have any questionsabout lines and arrows, we're
happy to answer those questions.
(31:02):
Uh, so reach out to us incomments, or you can actually,
uh, email us your questions.
Uh, at info at your Enneagramcoach.
com.
Uh, we'll be available there aswell to be able to respond to
your questions.
Well, if you'd like to know moreabout your lines and arrows, be
sure to check out our book, MoreThan Your Number.
The last half of the book, ourspecific details getting into
(31:23):
each of the numbers and howthese, uh, different ways that
These parts show up in ourlives, both in healthy and
unhealthy Very practical on selfcoaching tools and self
observation questions that youcan ask yourself so that you can
identify when the things areshowing up and kind of realign
yourself with a path that youwant to So be sure to check that
(31:44):
out.
And thanks again for joining us,Adam.
It's always a joy to be withyou.
Thanks so much for today.
And we look forward to seeingyou in our upcoming episodes
where we're going to go.
Through, uh, all the numbers andall of the different lines and
arrows for each of the as wellas all four paths that they go
down.
Thanks so much for joining us.
Everyone.
So what's up with these lines and arrows on the
(00:02):
Enneagram symbol?
Well, that's the topic oftoday's podcast on your
Enneagram coach, the podcast,where we have helped millions of
people around the world discoverand explore in order to become
the person that they've alwayslonged to be.
I'm Jeff McCord, co founder andCEO of your Enneagram coach.
And I'm joined today with ourdirector of coaching, Adam
(00:24):
Breckenridge.
Thanks so much.
Adam, Good to have you.
Adam (00:27):
Good to be with you.
Jeff (00:28):
Now, we're recording this the day after the uh, Chiefs
Ravens game.
That was a pretty exciting game.
Adam (00:35):
One by a toe, one by a toe.
But, you know, as someone toldme, uh, I just got off of
another call and they said, Hey,I heard that, uh, there was a
Taylor Swift game last night.
And I said, yeah, there was.
And Taylor and Taylor Swift wonby a toe.
So if, if you don't get thereferences, that's okay.
You're, you still belong withus.
You're in the right spot.
Jeff (00:55):
Well, for the next few episodes, we're going to be
discussing the lines and thearrows of the Enneagram symbol.
Now, you may have wondered ifthe Enneagram symbol itself has
any significance or did someonesimply just choose a geometrics
figure?
Uh, well, these lines andsometimes they're shown as
arrows.
They mean a lot.
And not only are we going tohelp you to understand what they
(01:17):
mean, but in future episodes,we're actually going to go walk
through and help you to learnhow to practice self coaching or
leadership, uh, based upon yourunderstanding of the two lines
and arrows that actually extendfrom your main type.
But you may have noted also thatI'm using terms like lines and
arrows, uh, because differentlogos actually have, sometimes
(01:40):
there's just a simple line,sometimes there's an arrow.
Well, the reason why thatsometimes teachers use the
arrows to denote or kind ofcommunicate the there's a
dynamic aspect to the Enneagram,is that these.
Other numbers are actually partof us and we move towards or
begin to adopt some of thestrategies, the behaviors, the
(02:04):
relational style of these othernumbers.
So the Enneagram is not static.
Um, so we're not just one thingwhere a lot of different things
that are happening inside of us.
So Adam, once you take this alittle bit further, because
we've had some greatconversations Particularly
highlighting this idea, butthrough the idea of the movie
inside out, which has been verypopular these days, and we've
(02:27):
been, we've already watchedinside out twice now.
But, uh, why don't you tell us alittle bit more about some of
your thoughts?
Adam (02:32):
Yeah.
I think if you want a greatillustration of what it looks
like, that our personality isnot dynamic, but it's static.
As you said, I think you see itin a movie inside out.
I mean, we're, we're huge fans.
I have three daughters.
Um, we we've, we've, we'vewatched the original, you know,
the, the first inside outseveral times, we went to the
movies to see in the theatersinside out too, and absolutely
(02:54):
loved it.
you know, each of the, each ofthe four.
Numbers is like each of thecharacteristics and inside out.
Think of them like your internalfamily or what works for me is
sometimes thinking about themlike, you know, my internal
team.
And I hear you use that languagea lot, Jeff, for yourself.
You know, you have team meetingswith your, with these parts of
yourself,
Jeff (03:14):
active, who's trying to lead the team, and who's trying
to quarterback.
Adam (03:18):
Exactly.
And in the movie, Inside Out,each character represents an
emotion and, you know, fortheatrical purposes, each
character has its ownpersonality as well.
And they have, they have theirown responses, they have their
own core motivations, whichmeans they have their own fears,
desires, weaknesses, andlongings.
then each type is fighting overthe control board.
(03:39):
That's the thing.
You have Riley, the maincharacter in the and all these
inner.
Parts of Riley, that's thesepersonified emotions that are
parts of her.
They're all trying to take overthe control board out of their
own interest.
And the same is true about eachof the Enneagram connecting
types.
Although, you know, they don'trepresent an emotion.
(04:01):
They do represent a personalityand they have their own
responses.
They have their own coremotivations, fears, desires,
weaknesses, and longings.
And each of them is trying totake control out of their own
interests.
Another way I would say that is.
they're trying to help you.
They're not just control freaks,but they're, they're trying to
(04:22):
drive and steer you in the, inthe direction that they feel
like is best for you in anygiven moment and situation.
So specifically in this episode,we're going to be talking about
the two numbers connected by thelines or sometimes arrows.
And each of the two Enneagramtypes that we are connected to
by, by a line can show up Youknow, in a healthy way or an
(04:42):
unhealthy And so, you know, Iwant you to remember this cause
this is really important.
It's like, we don't become thosetypes.
So it's not like, you know, as asix, I don't become a three or a
nine.
Um, cause that's, those are thetwo numbers I'm connected to by
the lines or arrows, but we dotake on the core motivations and
(05:03):
the relational strategies ofthose types to meet our Um, I
just got out of a conversation,Jeff, where we were talking
about how the human brain, whichis a mosaic of parts.
And you and I've talked aboutthis on this podcast before, but
the human brain is designed todo two things.
Basically, if you want to bereductionistic, it's like, it's
(05:23):
trying to help us connect andprotect, you know, it's designed
to connect and protect.
I feel like that's one way oflooking at these, these two
lines, these two other numberscan show up in healthy or
unhealthy ways based on howthey're trying to do that for
you.
How are they trying to withtheir strategies?
Right.
And their core motivations thatthey're bringing to the table.
(05:44):
They're trying to help youconnect and
Jeff (05:48):
Right.
Adam (05:50):
fascinating.
Jeff (05:50):
we're going to come back to this, uh, illustration
because there's some scenes inthe movie that give us, even
highlight even further, thedynamic parts, uh, of our
personality, particularlythrough the lens of the
Enneagram, uh, because it, noone character in the movie just
serves kind of one purpose.
They end up.
Mm beginning to understand thatthe healthiest version of all of
(06:13):
Riley's internal family or team,um, actually, whenever they're
all contributing is when they'reat their healthiest.
So we're going to come back tothat because one of the
important things to understandabout these lines is that.
The basic way of understandingthe lines and the arrows is that
most Enneagram teachers willstart with what's called the
(06:34):
stress path or the growth path.
The stress path is adopting theunhealthy, uh, attributes of the
body.
of that other type.
Now the growth path is adaptingthe healthier attributes of
that.
You don't become that type, butyou start to embrace some of the
strategies, whether healthy orunhealthy attributes of that
(06:56):
other So when each type is understress, they tend to take on
some of the average to unhealthyof the connecting type.
Um, that the arrow points to nowon the opposite side, when a
person is operating from ahealthier self, they begin to
relax and let go of theirpersonalities constraints, and
(07:16):
they move towards the healthierlevels of the connecting type
while when, when they'reactually growing.
So Adam, as a type six, we'reconnected to both the three and
the nine, so as a type six.
How do you notice the stresspath and the growth path showing
(07:38):
up for you?
Adam (07:40):
Yes.
So as a type six, the stresspath is, is that six is move
toward the average to unhealthytype I want to keep beating that
drum of we don't become typethrees, but we do gravitate over
those arrows, show us movingover, gravitating over to borrow
(08:01):
from, you know, some of theunhealthy attributes And we see
that showing up.
And so for me.
It usually looks like, um,doubling down on performance and
work.
You know, I can become as a typesix with my sense of duty and
responsibility and thenborrowing from the drivenness,
(08:23):
uh, of, of the, you know, andthe unhealthy side of the type
three is driven as I can becomea workaholic, um, in Crete,
which creates an increasedanxiety for me.
Um, and it's really, it's a,it's a part of me that wants to
help me by, you know, protect meby overworking, doing more.
Um, there's, it's kind of this,this unhealthy type three part
(08:46):
shows up at almost like an innerdriver.
That's, that's, it's It pushesme to do better, try harder, do
more, excel, you know, and I canalso notice, you know, shame and
comparison.
Like there's a, comparisondriven nature to this thing
where I can really start to lookaround me and see.
And I'm measuring up, you know,where am I on the invisible
(09:09):
ladder compared to everybodyelse in my behind them or ahead
of them?
There's a fear of failure thatgets really ramped up, you know,
sixes battle with fear andthoughts of you know Fearful
thoughts and so I can see I cannotice when this type showing up
when those fearful, anxiousthoughts were around failing and
looking like a failure, beingbeing exposed as a failure.
(09:32):
Um, and so that's kind of,that's kind of the stress.
That's sort of the stress path.
Now the growth path for a typesix is the healthy side of nine.
And so, man, I would say thispart of me shows up and brings
like a, an objective, it kind ofcuts through the noise of the
inner committee and brings sortof an object, a heavy dose of
(09:56):
objective reality.
Um, it's, it gives me a gift ofslowing down, stilling my
anxious thoughts, quieting myanxious thoughts.
It brings up, there's a peacethat comes to my anxiety.
Um, and you know, again, like ithelps me think more objectively
instead of getting caught up inthat whirlwind of my, inner
(10:17):
committee.
So I love the strength of thatgift.
And we'll talk about thestrength of the type three in a
minute.
So it's not like the three onlybrings it's it's unhelpful,
unhelpful strategies, but in thestress path, it's the, uh,
unhealthy type three strategies.
And in the growth path, ithappens to be the healthy type
nine strategies.
So I, you know, I know you're asix as well, Jeff.
(10:39):
So what about you?
How do you see this stress andgrowth
Jeff (10:43):
one of the funny things is, um, so, you know, in our
book, More Than Your Number, um,we've been working with a
particular, therapeutic modalitycalled internal family And, um,
Years ago, whenever we firststarted learning about it, um, I
started naming, uh, all of myparts.
And so, uh, when I think aboutthe three part of my heart, uh,
(11:06):
I, his name is Charlie.
Um, he, uh, it's after a friendwho I dearly love and
appreciate.
But I, I can remember one time,um, we were, uh, He was our real
estate agent and he was helpingus sell our home and, uh, we
were, uh, preparing our home andhe had hired a contractor to
help stage our house.
And, and so as he was kind ofnetworking and talking with that
(11:28):
person, um, I felt like we kindof lost the tension and, but I
noticed that about myself, thatin certain I'm always trying to
win people.
And I do that through a numberof different ways.
One of the funny ways that thatshows up in my life, um, is, uh,
(11:49):
for Halloween, I go all out forthe neighbors.
We don't have young kidsanymore.
Our kids are older, but, uh, weserve cotton candy.
We serve.
Popcorn, we get toys like littlerubber duckies.
I've even bought a big screen soI could show kind of a movie in
the background.
Um, I've got a fairly largesound, a Sonos sound system.
So I bring that outside to playmusic.
(12:10):
And, uh, it, I, I just, I noticein myself, I'm trying to win my
neighbors
Adam (12:17):
hmm.
Jeff (12:18):
and which is a very three aspect cause there's, there's
behind that is, uh, do theyactually like me, do they?
Do they respect And so I getcaught up into the image.
So that's, that's the three partof my heart.
And he brings gifts as well.
And so we'll talk about that.
Like you mentioned that it's notjust an either or, it's a both
(12:39):
Um, the other part, the stresspath, um, well, that was the
stress path, but the growth pathto nine, I call, uh, my nine
part, I call him Phil.
And I got that from the ideafrom Dan Allen, who talks about
how we address our longings aspeople.
We try to fill.
numb or blind ourselves to ourlongings and And so oftentimes,
(12:59):
um, you know, Phil in one sensetries to numb himself, but in
another sense, Phil is the onewho reminds me that my presence
matters.
Now, the core, Motivation fornine is to the fear that their
presence doesn't matter.
I've noticed that as a six, I amanxiously trying to insert my
(13:21):
presence into the lie, intosituations, trying to fix things
or prove my loyalty.
And I remember a certain seasonwhere, uh, as a pastor and I was
usually the number two guy, kindof the executive pastor type
role where my, my position wasimportant.
And I was involved in a lot ofthings.
And I just recognized that Icould go into a meeting without
(13:42):
trying to make my presence feltI, I was enough as I was.
And Phil was a part of me thatcould just remain quiet and
listen and only needing to showup whenever I absolutely needed
to show up for our And so Philwas a an assured, calming, uh,
non anxious presence versus thekind of six anxious, I'm going
(14:07):
to kind of get big or getanxious or feel like I need to
contribute to kind of save thesituation.
So that's, those are two waysthat it shows up.
Phil and Charlie, they're bigparts of my team and uh, they,
yeah, I often experience themshowing up in my life I, I'm
sure you probably feel, feelboth Charlie and Phil showing up
in my leadership of our team ofthe YEC team, right?
Adam (14:31):
No comment.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I
Jeff (14:38):
Hey, Jeff, I wish Phil would show up a little more
often up.
Adam (14:44):
no, no, I will.
So to, to, to honor you in allseriousness, I've told you many
times that I notice one of thethings I really value about your
and have and friendship is thereis a calm, it's funny.
Cause you may not.
You may not feel this inside,but that's usually the way it is
(15:04):
with sixes.
It's like other peopleexperience experience you as,
you know, people say this to meall the time.
Like if I've, if I, when I've,I've been in preaching teaching
or like, I hate to use thisterm, but like front stage
leadership roles my whole life.
Whereas I feel like I belongbackstage and that's where I
feel more comfortable.
I don't feel comfortable ascomfortable on a stage, you
know, leading in those contexts,but everybody's always said,
(15:26):
what?
You seem so natural and calm.
And I'm like, well, that's nothow I feel, you know, inside.
But I, I think it's that ninegift, you know, that shows up
and brings a manifestation ofobjectivity, calm, peace.
And I would, I would definitelysay that's the, that's the
overarching
Jeff (15:46):
would say for, for me, it's interesting to say that
cause I, I have learned topractice, uh, silence and
solitude and it's.
It's really the feel, the feelpart of my heart that, uh, that
gives me the strength and giftsnecessary in order to look into
the flywheel and to be patientenough for the flywheel of my
(16:08):
thoughts and my anxieties tocalm down.
Adam (16:11):
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Jeff (16:14):
Well, there's actually two other parts as well and that
oftentimes gets missed and maybeit's because it's more
complicated and it's not asexperienced as often, but there,
these two concepts are really,really helpful.
And we're going to illustratethis with Inside Out 2 and, uh,
cause they do both of these, Ithink do show up in the movie,
but, um, these two are, so wehave the growth path and the
(16:37):
stress path.
And we also have somethingcalled the blind spot.
And the converging path.
Now, let's talk about the blindspot first.
So when a person is around thosewho are the most, who they're
most comfortable with, likefamily members or very, very
close they may display theunhealthy characteristics of
(16:57):
their blind spot path.
So in, for the sixes and nines,what that means is that it's the
nine part of them that shows upas the growth path.
Can also, we can show theunhealthy attributes of and
that's called the blind spotNow, the people typically don't
see these characteristics inthemselves, which is why it's
called the blind And they avoidacting out these characteristics
(17:20):
with everyday people, butunknowingly will use them
whenever they're around theirclosest family members or their
closest The converging path isthat the healthiest expressions
of who we are as people.
And after making progress on ourgrowth path, a person can reach
the healthiest point of theirtype, which is where the
healthiest, all of theirhealthiest types, all of the
(17:43):
connecting types come together.
And here they have access to thebest qualities of their main
type, their growth path, and thehealthiest attributes of their
stress type.
So, rather than just the six,the three, which may be a stress
path, actually we start to adaptsome of the healthier behaviors
and the healthier interest ofthe type And we call that the
(18:04):
converging type.
I had him try to illustrate thiswith Inside Out because it,
this, you start to see how themovie is so dynamic and how it
relates to the Enneagram, um,and how we can show up in all of
these healthy and unhealthy
Adam (18:20):
Oh, it's so good.
And any Graham enthusiast and,and IFS nerds and practitioners
love inside out because it, itreally does illustrate what's
going on, you know, inside,inside a human being.
So you remember how each typetries to lead Riley reactively,
like they're all reacting.
(18:41):
They're, they're all trying totake over the control board and
they're, they're only thinkingfrom their perspective, trying
to protect.
Riley or help her respond tolife situations.
Again, they're trying to helpher connect and protect.
Um, let's think about that asthe stress path.
You know, uh, uh, when, wheneach type is trying to lead
(19:02):
Riley, when she, when she needsthem, they're, they're less
reactive, think of that as thegrowth path.
Uh, what isn't captured in themovie, which would be, you know,
what would have made us looklike geniuses is the, is the
blind spot.
You know, um, we, we might get aglimpse into this and inside out
to when they show Riley firstexperiencing puberty, she's
(19:24):
going through, you know, I thinkshe's like in middle school.
She's moving to a new school.
It's a really, you know,anxious, tumultuous time.
Anxiety plays a huge role in the
Jeff (19:35):
Well, I remember how, you know, whenever she's talking to
her mom and talking to her dadand she's very reactive
Adam (19:40):
Oh,
Jeff (19:41):
She would never be that reactive with her coaches or her
peers, but just showing how itshows up in private or with her
closest relationships may be asense to where it's kind of a
blind spot path.
I don't want to take theillustration too far, but it
could could be a
Adam (19:58):
it.
kind of feels that way though.
It's like, cause you're, likeyou said, like her, she knows
not to show up that way with ateacher or she's not going to
show up that way with her peergroup.
She doesn't want to lose herplace with but she feels secure
with mom and dad so she can pushharder, swing harder.
You know, uh, and test thestrength of the attachment.
And she ultimately knows like Ican rage here.
(20:21):
I can, you know, I can saythings, I can show a side of
myself and it, it does kind offit with that blind spot path.
Lastly, you know, in bothmovies, you see this, this
incredible journey of joy andsadness, learning to befriend
one another, um, and worktogether and become integrated
and an inside out to joy andanxiety.
(20:42):
Uh, as I mentioned, anxiety is ahuge part of Riley and a main
character in the film, played bythe wonderful Maya Hawk, uh, to
all you stranger things, fansout there.
Um, but they come together.
And as a matter of fact, many ofthe parts come together,
integrating with one another.
And this would be the convergingpath that you see illustrated in
(21:03):
Inside Out 2.
So.
Let's move from imagination toreal life.
And let's Jeff, let's talk aboutsome examples from our own
lives.
And we can start with you.
How do you notice, you know,you've talked about stress and
growth How do you notice theblind spot and the converging
paths showing up for you?
Jeff (21:21):
Well the blind spot for me, well, let's go back to phil
So phil can be assured of hispresence not feeling like he
needs to press in the world butphil Man, he can eat some taco
bell
Adam (21:34):
Run for the border.
Jeff (21:36):
all of my dissociative behaviors to try to numb the
Endless flywheel of my mind.
Like Phil is right there to comeonline to help me to do that.
Now that could be watching aNetflix series.
Um, uh, that could be, uh, foodfor me.
There are a number of differentways, but movies and TV are
(21:57):
typically in food or two bigones of how Phil can come on.
And a lot of people don't seethat about me.
Uh, matter of fact, uh, Iusually don't eat Taco Bell with
other people.
Um, it's, like this privateadults.
I almost feel like a little kidagain.
Uh, and Taco Bell meant a lot inmy story.
(22:17):
Uh, whenever, uh, I was growingup, my mom was ill.
My dad would, well, sometimes mymom would go a lot of times to
go in the hospital.
And so my dad would, uh, take meout for dinner and I would eat a
lot.
And so.
One of the cheap places to go isTaco Bell.
So that's always been kind of a,a nurturing, uh, low place for
me to go to.
Adam (22:38):
Yeah.
Jeff (22:38):
So running to the border was comforting to Jeff running
to the border.
It's always but on the otherside, on the converging side.
So this is where this.
Charlie part of me, um, comesalive.
So rather than reacting to lifeand wanting to kind of back away
in anxiety, Charlie's the onewho really inspires me.
That's more goal oriented andaction oriented.
(23:02):
Um, it moves me through theanxiety to make decisions now,
not the anxious way of making adecision just to get through it,
but to be purposeful, to beintentional, uh, to be efficient
and planned.
I think.
transitioning from ministryinto, um, entrepreneurial ship
and helping Beth to create yourEnneagram That's where a large
(23:23):
part of that came online.
Uh, the woo, the, you think ofstrength finders, woo is a big,
one of my top five.
Uh, Charlie is the one thatcarries woo.
And, uh, to be able to, Bringtogether a team to bring
together all of the differentcontractors and consultants and
coaches to become what yourEnneagram coach was.
(23:44):
That was, Charlie was playing abig role in my How do these two
things show for you, Adam?
Adam (23:50):
Well, can I just connect with you first on your Taco Bell
story?
Cause you, you, you and I havediscovered in our, in our
friendship journey that there'sso many things that overlap.
Like we both use our, our
Jeff (24:00):
I love that.
We have a friendship journey.
Adam (24:03):
we do.
We do.
Jeff (24:04):
Okay.
Adam (24:06):
We do.
And, and, and I like where it'sgoing, but you know, what's
funny is we, you know, ourwedding anniversary is the same.
Our couple type combo with ourspouse is the same.
We're both merit six is marriedto nines.
Um, we, you know, uh, our, yourparents, Enneagram types and my
parents, Enneagram types are thesame.
We both use our high schoolfootball number for our iPhone
(24:28):
passcode.
Uh, there's so many things, butyou know, I also had.
And I would say unhealthyattachments, Taco Bell.
And one of the
Jeff (24:38):
Well, hold on, hold on.
Did I say it was unhealthy?
I just said I had
Adam (24:42):
I'm saying I'm saying mine was, and this is,
Jeff (24:45):
Well, that's fine.
If it was for you, sure.
Adam (24:48):
well, let me tell you.
Jeff (24:51):
I remember one time I was in the drive thru line.
Beth had gone to St.
Louis, I think.
And, uh, it was when iPhonefinder first came out and she
screenshotted me in the line.
I'm like, no, I'm not, I don'tknow what you're talking about.
Adam (25:05):
You got
Jeff (25:05):
like you're in the drive thru line.
Adam (25:06):
You look, yeah.
It looks like you're sitting inTaco Bell.
Yeah.
I'm about to
Jeff (25:10):
I'm lonely, Beth.
Adam (25:11):
yeah, I'm lonely.
And what I need is, uh, some ofthis Diablo you know what I'm
saying?
On like a chill on like a chilicheese burrito or three, three
meat and cheese burrito orwhatever.
So, but here's, here's the, myembarrassing story that I'll
tell everybody who's is one timewhen Carrie and I were trying to
(25:34):
buy a house in Kansas city.
Uh, I actually made a decisionon what house we were going to
buy based on how close it was toTaco Bell.
And my rule of thumb was itcan't be more than two miles.
(25:59):
I was like, honey,
Jeff (26:00):
I don't know if that's a setting on Zillow now.
the nearest
Adam (26:06):
the nearest
Jeff (26:09):
Homes for sale within two miles of Taco Bell.
Adam (26:12):
I was like, if it's more than two miles, it's going to be
way too Cause we would make arun for the border all the time.
I mean, back then the value menuwas we could both for 6, eat And
be stuffed, you know?
So it's like, it was, just whatwe did, what we had to
Jeff (26:25):
they're all sophisticated man.
Yeah, they're trying to the
Adam (26:30):
of them, some of them serve alcohol and stuff.
It's like, yeah, all
Jeff (26:33):
Are you serious?
Adam (26:35):
Yes, absolutely.
Jeff (26:36):
not know this
Adam (26:37):
Yeah.
Look it up, Okay.
Jeff (26:41):
I mean that just speaks to the blind spot path for you But
what about the converging?
Adam (26:47):
Yeah, it is my blind spot path.
Yeah.
I think blind spot path.
I can be a little more checkedout, a little more comfort.
Seeking a little more, a littlemore numbing, uh, type, you
know, type behaviors is how itusually shows up.
Um, converging for me, you know,the type six moves toward the
healthy side of three.
(27:08):
And kind of like you said, itgives me with, there's a, just a
strong, overwhelming sense ofself confidence.
I really feel like I'm at mybest self.
It's when I, it's when I havelanded at trusting myself and
the self doubt gets very quiet,the imposter syndrome sort of
melts away and I kind of emergeand I noticed that, you know,
(27:29):
And I'm able to humbly, I'm ableto stand and deliver.
I'm able to steward a bigmoment.
You know, this is things thatthrees, threes just live there,
you know?
And I feel like when this part,part of my heart shows up, it
gives me the ability to strivefor excellence without over
identifying with it.
You know, uh, there's, there's asense of, I can compete in a way
(27:51):
that brings out the best in meand, and really stand and own a
moment, um, being my best self.
You know?
Jeff (28:00):
Oh, and I noticed that about you and with our team.
I mean, there, uh, in this mostrecent season, you've stepped up
in a way that, uh, just kind ofkindly, um, but with strength,
uh, with courage, uh, kind ofstepped into the gap, uh, and
helped us with this new season.
So, um, I certainly see thatpart of you.
Have you named these parts?
Adam (28:21):
Thanks, man.
Thank you for that.
Um, you know, I haven't, um, andI really, uh, maybe we should do
it live right here right now.
Um, no, I, I, uh,
Jeff (28:33):
Well, naming is important in the Bible, so you got to
think of something significant.
I wouldn't want to put you onthe and here's why I name my
parts is that it readily helpsme to identify them,
particularly when I talk aboutteam meetings in the morning.
So it could be where it's on mymorning walk.
It could in the shower, what,just the moment that I have and
I just start.
going through the various partsof my Enneagram and, ask what,
(28:57):
what are the things that I'mthinking about, what I'm worried
about, concerned about, what amI inclined to do, am I inclined
to want to check out today, uh,am I interested in reading, uh,
whereas What am I working onright now?
And these having names helps meto more readily identify these
parts so that I'm not Just kindof leaving them ambiguous out
(29:19):
there
Adam (29:19):
Yep.
Totally agree.
I'll work on that.
Jeff (29:23):
Well a few summary points, uh before we end today's
episode, but a couple of a fewthings number one um, these were
connected to These two types ina very dynamic way.
We don't become these but theselines and arrows speak to the
dynamic reality of the Enneagramis that we start to take on some
of the motivation and strategiesof these other types in order to
have our needs met.
(29:44):
Now we do that in both healthy.
and unhealthy ways.
So it's not just a stress andgrowth path, uh, but we actually
do both, uh, both and the goodand the bad, the healthy and the
unhealthy.
And so we added on to this, theblind spot path, which is where
around our close relationships,whether it be family or friends
and the converging fat path,whenever we're at our Now,
(30:06):
remember we don't become thesetypes, but if you do take an
assessment, sometimes you mayoverly identify with those types
and think they're, so sometimesyou use sort of.
Triangulate, uh, what your maintype is by just looking at,
well, is that a place that I goto whenever I'm healthy?
Is that a place that I go towhen I'm And then, um, yeah,
it's just a fun way to thinkabout inside out that actually
(30:27):
gives us, uh, examples of whatall of this looks like in
action, uh, but in, uh, in a funway, in an imaginary way.
So, uh, thanks, uh, Adam, forcontributing that.
I thought it was a very helpfulillustration.
Adam (30:40):
Yeah.
So
Jeff (30:41):
Well, thanks, Adam.
Thanks again for joining us forour discussion about the lines
and arrows.
And if you found this helpful,be sure to like, and subscribe,
uh, however you're listening tothis podcast.
And don't forget to ask us yourquestions.
Adam and I will be checking, uh,on YouTube as well as on, uh,
social media.
If you guys have any questionsabout lines and arrows, we're
happy to answer those questions.
(31:02):
Uh, so reach out to us incomments, or you can actually,
uh, email us your questions.
Uh, at info at your Enneagramcoach.
com.
Uh, we'll be available there aswell to be able to respond to
your questions.
Well, if you'd like to know moreabout your lines and arrows, be
sure to check out our book, MoreThan Your Number.
The last half of the book, ourspecific details getting into
(31:23):
each of the numbers and howthese, uh, different ways that
These parts show up in ourlives, both in healthy and
unhealthy Very practical on selfcoaching tools and self
observation questions that youcan ask yourself so that you can
identify when the things areshowing up and kind of realign
yourself with a path that youwant to So be sure to check that
(31:44):
out.
And thanks again for joining us,Adam.
It's always a joy to be withyou.
Thanks so much for today.
And we look forward to seeingyou in our upcoming episodes
where we're going to go.
Through, uh, all the numbers andall of the different lines and
arrows for each of the as wellas all four paths that they go
down.
Thanks so much for joining us.
Everyone.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.