September 16, 2024 • 40 mins
Today on the podcast, we dive into the Head Triad—Types 5, 6, and 7—and explore their Enneagram lines and arrows, or as we like to call them, their Enneagram Paths.
In this episode, we cover Types 5, 6, 7’s:
- The Stress and Growth Path: Understand what it means to move along these lines during times of stress and growth.
- The Blind Spot and Converging Points: Discover the often overlooked paths in your Enneagram type and how recognizing them can lead to powerful personal development.
- Parts of a Whole: Learn how each line and arrow is a path to essential parts of your heart, revealing the full complexity of your personality.
Understanding the lines and arrows offers insights into the patterns of behavior that can either propel us forward or hold us back. Whether you’re a 5, 6, or 7, or you know someone who is, this episode sheds light on how these types can navigate life more effectively.
Bonus: As a special gift, download our free PDF on Lines and Arrows to deepen your understanding and put these insights into practice.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1J105GMmZJzBwmSlEpFnqzPAOyn3oOOID/view?__s=avmj32602vkus0m24hmz
Thank you to our guest:
Adam Breckenridge - https://myenneagramcoach.com/coach/adam-breckenridge/
We have many more amazing Enneagram for Moms resources at www.enneagramformoms.com.
FREE Enneagram resources here: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/podcastresources
Find an Enneagram Coach - https://myenneagramcoach.com/
Become an Enneagram Coach Course - https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/bec
#Enneagram #PersonalityTypes #EnneagramCoach
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeff (00:00):
Hey, friends.
Well, have you ever wondered whythere are these lines and
sometimes arrows in theenneagram symbol?
And if you do understand whatthey are, is there anything you
can do about that dynamic ofyour ending your personality
type?
Well, you've come to the rightplace, particularly if you're a
type 56 or seven, because todaywe're going to be talking about
(00:22):
the lines and the arrows Welcometo your Enneagram Coach, the
podcast.
I am Jeff McCord, co founder andCEO of your Enneagram Coach.
We help millions of peoplearound the world, help them to
discover, explore in order forthem to become the selves that
(00:42):
they've always longed to be.
Today I am joined by AdamBreckenridge, the infamous, the
notorious director of coachinghere at YEC.
Adam (00:54):
Yeah.
Hey, Jeff, my kids, I callmyself at home, the notorious
DAD and they don't like it.
Jeff (01:01):
You don't like it.
Adam (01:02):
don't like it.
Jeff (01:03):
Oh, that's too bad.
What do they have a nicknamethat they like?
Adam (01:08):
No, no, no, no.
They just, they, they just, It'sjust dad.
Jeff (01:12):
It's just dad.
Adam (01:13):
yeah.
Jeff (01:15):
Uh, my kids, whenever, um, so the seven, well, we talk a
lot about parts and Enneagramtypes, connecting types.
So as a six, I have a seven wingand my kids call my seven wing
El McCordo because he is thelife of the party.
And, uh, that's the other namethat they call me like, Oh,
there's El McCordo.
Adam (01:33):
There he is.
Yeah.
Jeff (01:36):
he is.
I'm not sure what they call myTexas twang that comes out.
My accent that every once in awhile shows We don't have a name
for that.
they usually come out withprayer and fasting.
Adam (01:50):
Those kinds of demons.
That's the only way to get themout.
Jeff (01:54):
Oh, you can take the boy out of Texas.
Adam (01:57):
Yeah.
But if you want to take theTexas demons out of the boy,
Jeff (02:00):
Ooh.
They're pretty fierce.
They're pretty fierce.
They always threaten to leave,but they never really leave.
Adam (02:10):
and if they ever come back, they come back with a
vengeance.
oh,
Jeff (02:16):
oh, hey, okay.
Adam (02:17):
we're off to a good start.
Jeff (02:19):
We're off to a great start.
I mean, I just introduced, we'regoing to be talking about lines
and arrows and now we're gettinginto mixing spirituality with
being a Texan, um, which is itsown spirituality.
Let's be honest.
is, uh, for sure.
Well, hey, uh, in this series,we're going to help you to
better understand the lines and,or sometimes the Enneagram
(02:39):
symbol and learn how to practiceor how to use this insight for
your own self coaching andleadership.
Um, in this episode, we'reactually specifically going to
be talking about the types 7.
If you want a broaderunderstanding of each of the,
uh, lines and arrows, go back toour previous episode in 241,
where we just give you anoverview of the lines and
(03:01):
arrows.
But for this podcast, in thenext episode.
Upcoming episodes, we'll takethe rest of the numbers.
Each of the main type of theEnneagram has two, uh, lines
that connect the two othertypes.
Sometimes this is actuallyrepresented by an arrow.
And the reason why there's anarrow and not a line sometimes
is that teachers are trying toindicate that there's a dynamic
(03:24):
happening, that we move in aparticular direction and adopt
the styles of relating of theseother types.
We don't become the other but weadopt their relational style.
One way to think about, um,these lines and arrows is to
think about our, therelationship between Riley and
her emotions in the movies,Inside Out one and two.
(03:47):
Now we talked at length aboutthis and how that all shows up.
Um, and you know, Adam, I don'tknow if you'd like to, but would
you want to summarize what it isabout Inside Out and how it
captures the four movements of,The lines and arrows.
Adam (04:03):
Yeah, absolutely.
So in the film Inside Out, in,in Riley's inner world, um,
each, you know, her emotions arepersonified, each character, Um,
represents the emotion and hasits own personality and, and
they have their own responses,their own strategies, their own
core motivations, And they'reall working really, really hard
for Riley trying to help hersurvive.
(04:24):
You know, everything school girlis trying to live and survive.
They're trying to help herconnect and protect.
And, and again, they work reallyhard for the same is true about.
connecting types that you'retalking about, Jeff, you know,
um, although they don'trepresent an emotion, they do
represent a personality thosepersonality types have their own
(04:46):
responses.
They have their own strategies,um, defense mechanisms, they
have their own core motivationsand their own.
Each of them will show up foryou and, and really, you know,
fight to drive, to take over thecontrol board because they want
And they're going to show upsometimes in healthy ways.
And sometimes they're going toshow up in not so healthy
Jeff (05:10):
And the way that we talk about those, uh, particularly
here at YEC is that there arefour ways that these types show
up.
One is the stress path, whichmeans adopting the unhealthy
attributes of a type, uh, andthat stress paths can also be a
healthy thing called theconverging path, which is when
we're most free from thelimitations of our personality,
(05:31):
uh, restraints.
Now there's also the growthpath, which is adopting the
healthy attributes of a, of aconnecting type, but that growth
path can also be the blind spotpath where it's a way of
relating that we are blind toand it's usually with close
family members or close friends.
So as we promised the beginningof the show, that we're going to
(05:53):
be talking through the headtriad, the fives, sixes and
sevens.
So Adam, why won't you bring ithome for type fives?
Adam (06:02):
Yeah, let's talk about type five.
So type fives, um, are connectedto in the lines and the arrows,
uh, type seven.
So the type five would have inits internal family, if you
will, a type seven part.
Um, and so just to kind ofsummarize that, you know, if, if
you're a type five, that, thattype seven part is going to give
you the ability to.
(06:24):
enjoy a more exciting andabundant life with others.
It's going to, it's a part ofyou that's going to be
excitable, resilient,spontaneous, energetic,
optimistic.
Sometimes, you know, it's a partof you fives that will maybe
we'll be, uh, you Maybe, maybeinterested in taking on too many
(06:44):
exciting projects.
Um, you know, you know, thingsthat you're starting, but
struggling to complete.
This is some of the ways thatthis type seven can show up.
It's also, uh, your type sevenpart is, is it causes You to
have a kind of a racing mind.
It can, it show up in likerestlessness, hyperactivity.
(07:05):
Maybe having a hard time denyingwhat it desires.
You know, it doesn't want to bebored.
It doesn't want to be, if youfind yourself as a type five,
like I really don't want to belimited.
I don't want to be deprived.
I, you know, this is some of theways that this, this is probably
indicative of, this is your typeseven path part that's showing
up for So,
Jeff (07:24):
Adam, what comes to mind whenever I hear those
descriptions is Robin Williamsin the movie Flubber.
Adam (07:30):
Oh
Jeff (07:31):
Do you remember that?
Adam (07:31):
I do
Jeff (07:32):
Kind of the frenetic, absent minded type.
They're very, they can be bothhyper focused and kind of
scattered all at the same
Adam (07:41):
That's right.
That's exactly right.
So, um, you know.
you said, Jeff, these, these canshow up in different ways.
Let's talk about the stresspath.
Um, how to recognize themisaligned, this is the
misaligned traits of, of theconnecting type seven.
you know, do you sometimes, ifyou're a type five, do you
sometimes notice that you have aracing mind, as I said, become
(08:03):
scattered, restless,hyperactive.
Do you sometimes, you know,overbook your schedule with
fascinating experiences andinterests, or maybe.
Become a little bit impulsiveand take on too many projects.
do you find yourself as a typefive becoming more talkative
with others?
Maybe to the point that you'reeven like having an out of body
experience.
What am I doing?
(08:23):
Oversharing?
Well, I'm sharing, you know,sharing new possibilities that
you see, sharing informationthat you've absorbed.
Um, maybe you've become aradically focused on learning
everything at like a feverishpace, causing you to be less
patient with people.
That's an example of that stresspath and how the type seven can
(08:43):
show up, you know, um, in theaverage to unhealthy traits of
the type seven.
let's talk about the convergingpath.
This is the, this is like typefives emerging as their
healthiest self.
This is whenever the, healthy,most mature, uh, self actualized
traits of the type seven show upfor a five.
(09:06):
And this is where you findyourself maybe enjoying life
more to the fullest, you know,Trusting that God is benevolent,
that He's kind, that He's goingto provide for your needs.
You're probably a little morefun and spontaneous and maybe
physically active, you know,less fearful about that
catastrophic depletion.
Still having your boundaries,still needing your solitude,
(09:29):
still needing your time torecharge, but but less
withholding.
Less of the avarice andwithholding of yourself and more
generous and spontaneous, um,in, in the way you show up
relationally, you, know, youprobably, um, you're a little
more hopeful, optimistic,joyful, you know, seeing that
life is full of purpose andmeaning.
(09:49):
So that's that Jeff, that's thatconverging path and how the
seven can show up in a healthysense.
Anything you want to add tothat?
Jeff (09:57):
Well, I was just thinking, you know, we, to each of these
parts, we have relationshipswith these parts.
So we may only be able toobserve one attribute or one
side of a part.
So particularly in, uh,Enneagram teaching, when we only
They're trying to focus onstress and growth path.
We miss out on the wholeopportunity of recognizing that
(10:18):
there's a whole other side thatthis part of us brings, but I
would imagine for a five thatthey don't enjoy being scattered
or overbooked or, And theyprobably don't enjoy oversharing
with others whenever they getreally excited but this seven
part of their heart is alsosomething that can bring them
life and fun and spontaneity.
(10:41):
It really is kind of the hope ofthe five to be able to kind of
let go of the fives restraintsthat hold them back to be more
abundant minded to be lessscarcity minded.
And so you may have arelationship of ambivalence
towards the seven party of herheart.
Because you, you don't trust it,um, but there is a gift there
and we're going to show anexercise at the, when Adam, uh,
(11:02):
after he goes through the typeeight part, um, that's going to
help you to recognize this andto practice some self leadership
so that you can bring out thehealthiest part of this seven
part of you and the eight partof you, uh, so that you can be
more present to yourself
Adam (11:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very good.
Um, let's talk about the, theother path or the other arrow or
line that type fives have.
We've talked about the seven,fives are also connected type
eight.
So here's kind of a summary ofyour connecting type eight, the
eight part of you, if you will.
(11:37):
your eight, Path or part givesyou the ability to trust your
instincts, to take action.
Um, this is the part of you thatis decisive and assertive,
protective of yourself andothers.
you know, if you feel that yourspace is being, you know, your
energy is being intruded on Youknow, this is the part of you
that has no problem stepping upand challenging anyone that is
(12:00):
breaching your boundaries.
your eight part also causes youto, uh, to, to confront, you
know, anybody that displeasesyou.
It's the part of you that,again, it can be intense.
can be confrontational is alsobig hearted.
You know, this is the part ofyou that's got, it's just, it's,
(12:21):
tenderness to it.
There's, and there's a strengthto it, a unique tenderness and
strength that the type eightthis is, um, just a summary of
how this part of you shows upnow, uh, for the type five,,
the, the blind spot is, is typeeight.
So this is the unhealthycharacteristics of the type
eight.
And again, the F the type fivedoesn't become an eight, but,
(12:43):
but gravitates over and kind ofborrows from the unhealthy
traits of the eight.
And so you may notice yourself,um, you know, in this case, when
you're, when you're in thatpath, when that part of you
showing up, however you want tothink about it, you may notice
yourself asserting boundaries,forcefully confronting people.
Uh, becoming more aggressive,maybe even vengeful, especially
(13:03):
if you are blindsided, if you'rereally caught off guard, or if
you feel betrayed, um, you know,you may question others
competence while asserting yourown knowledge with, with
strength.
Um, and there can be, you know,this intellectual sort of, uh,
intellectual ego that begins toemerge.
Um, you may become more privateand secretive.
(13:25):
Because there's this, this, thisfear of being betrayed and fear
of vulnerability that the, thatthe type eight has.
So think about that for a typefive who already loves, you
know, solitude and to be alittle more withdrawn, like
values a little more of that,you know, solid solitary life.
Um, and then the type eightsfear of vulnerability.
(13:47):
And, and being, being takenadvantage of, or being betrayed
when that shows up for the typefive, that can really create a
tall, thick fence that you startto display with other Um, and so
this is some of the ways that,you know, this is the blind spot
for the type five.
Now the growth path for the typefive is the healthy traits of a
(14:10):
type Um, so in this case, thetype eight gifts you with self
confidence.
decisiveness, a healthy, uh,assertiveness.
Um, you may find yourselftrusting your instincts,
becoming bolder, um, you know,getting out of your head and
(14:31):
into your gut a little takingaction.
So fives, I know sixes canreally can get into be prone to
uh, and really thinking beforethey act.
So the joke is, you know,whereas some Enneagram types are
more, you know, Uh, ready, fire,aim, you know, fives can be
(14:51):
ready, ready, aim, aim, aim,aim, aim, ready, aim, aim, fire.
But, uh, in, in the healthy, in,in, in, in the growth path, when
the healthy, uh, aid is showingup for you in a healthy way,
You're quicker to take action.
Um, you're quicker to operateout of your gut And that's a
gift that the Um, you're alsonotice you may be more active,
(15:15):
you know, you may be justphysically more active, more
engaged with your life.
Um, you may isolate yourselfless.
And, and, and be a little moreof a snowplow when it comes to
blazing a path for others withthe knowledge and wisdom that
you have and sharing theknowledge and wisdom that you
have.
And you probably also noticedthat you're willing to take on
(15:36):
more responsibility anddemonstrate courage and
confidence.
And that's the, that's thegiftedness that the type eight
brings you.
Um, in that growth path, Jeff,you want to talk about the, uh,
you want to add anything tothat, that you want to add and
you want to lead us through theexercise.
Jeff (15:52):
sure, you know, I love the idea that part of us gifts you
know, there whenever we we sortof can sometimes pick a how to
or address a problem what theEnneagram does for us in
(16:15):
understanding these parts isthat we can see it from another
That I might be inclined as atype six to address a problem
with heart and go to my booksand then there's another part of
me.
The seven part of the wing.
Let's say that wants to jump inwith excitement and adventure
(16:37):
and So the idea that we havethese parts as gifts and
sometimes liabilities.
gifts to help us, when you can,you can think of back to the
Inside Out movie where just onepart trying to control isn't
what we're looking We're tryingto, we're looking for
integration one of the exerciseor the exercise that Beth and I
(17:03):
have developed that, uh, wepractice ourselves and AWARE
stands for Awaken, Welcome, Ask,and the way that we like to
think about this, particularlyas it relates awaken.
How are your seven or eightparts showing up in your life
(17:25):
right Are they showing up inyour thinking?
Are they showing up in youremotions?
are they even showing up in yourbody?
next one is welcome and what dowe mean by welcome is that
rather than denying orjustifying these attributes and
just kind of accepting them asthey are, become curious because
(17:47):
at times we can kind of moveaway from try to deny them what
is it we as our own leaders, ourown team leads can actually ask.
by asking yourself why theseparts are showing up for you in
(18:10):
the What needs are they seekingto that you may not receive.
the gift that you are more thanone part.
You have other parts of can helpyou identify your needs and move
towards them in healthier ways.
What do the healthier parts Sothink about the difference of
(18:35):
sort of, uh, other peopleintruding on your is an
unhealthy eight response thatAdam was But what would it be
like to, uh, look at it fromembraces the the these two parts
of you may be in competition tosome degree, but they have
(18:57):
needs.
And so what we really want to dois just consider the possibility
and to use our imagination tothink, okay, is another way,
another part of And then lastlyis engage.
To engage yourself, yourrelationships, Is it, what's
(19:18):
your plan for reevaluating howyou related and then re engaging
in a new way why don't we diveinto type six?
Uh, we're familiar with thisneighborhood.
Adam (19:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We,
Jeff (19:35):
here.
We've, we grew up here.
We live here.
Adam (19:38):
Yeah.
I feel like this, I feel likethis, I feel like this could
get, this could get dangerous
Jeff (19:44):
That's right.
Yeah.
There's a lot of sexiness lot of
Adam (19:49):
Let's be honest.
We're 60 and we know it, youknow, It just is.
what It is.
Don't, don't fight it.
Don't fight it.
Jeff (20:01):
not going to edit that out.
We're going to leave that inthere, Adam.
So from now on, uh, it'll, itshall be known.
You're lucky he didn't start,like, making some kind of banjo
or guitar sound
Adam (20:15):
I have a guitar, right?
I have a guitar right here.
Jeff (20:17):
I, I know, I know what you could do,
Adam (20:19):
the, well, the, but you know, the other one that we
didn't say is, um, we'rebringing 60 We didn't, we
didn't, we didn't, we didn't
Jeff (20:27):
I, I gotta be honest with you, I don't know if I'm gonna
be a candidate I, lost mysexiness back in the 90s.
Adam (20:40):
way back in the night.
Wait, you mean way back in the1900s
Jeff (20:43):
yeah, that's right.
Although I was really pleased.
I was pleasantly surprised.
Someone on YouTube commented ona, one of our initial episodes
after Beth's sabbatical.
Oh, I can't remember the name ofthe guy, the actor, but someone
Oh, Slater from, uh,
Adam (21:05):
Slater?
Jeff (21:06):
No, not Christian Slater, the, uh, oh gosh, Saved by the
Bell
Adam (21:11):
Oh, AC Slater.
Jeff (21:13):
AC Slater.
Yeah.
Um, somewhat, yeah, compared meto him.
I'm like an older version ofhim.
I'm like, oh, that's nice.
Thank you for that.
Adam (21:23):
And I am, I can't be your Zach Morris.
I'm probably closer to screechthan I am Zach you know, that's
okay.
It is
Jeff (21:31):
Oh man, it's saved by the bell and Hey, Let's talk about
the type three and type nine,the two connecting types for the
type Um, so we're going to lookthrough each of these both in
their healthy contributionsunhealthy and growth spot and
converging.
So for the type six, you'reconnected to type three.
(21:55):
And that three part gives youthe ability to trust yourself
and not allow your innercommittee to sabotage your
actions.
Um, and so, yeah, and it cancause you to worry about your
self image and to keep busy toavoid feeling anxious.
Now, one way that you canunderstand how to recognize when
(22:17):
this three part of you isshowing up, particularly as a
stress is that one, do youarrogantly believe that you
alone are seeing all thepossibilities and scenarios, is
really, I mean, accused me ofthis all the time because I
don't think I'm a pessimist, I'ma realist, but I don't think
that other people what I'mseeing.
(22:38):
Uh, and it, there's an arroganceabout it, like I, oh, I knew
that was coming, uh, and it'skind of surprising that
arrogance can come out of an, ananxious six, but, it is true and
it's a part of me and it's Um,so this can also show up as
keeping busy to avoid feelinganxious feelings, yes.
(23:02):
don't know if I'm going to likethis because I just like am I
just reading all my characterdefects like in front of
Adam (23:07):
yeah, you're no, you're no, no, you're reading all of my
character defects in
Jeff (23:13):
let's
Adam (23:14):
is where, this is where you've gone from like stepping
on my toes were flat out
Jeff (23:21):
Right.
Oh, man so Why don't I put itrather than you?
Adam, do you refuse to trysomething new if failure is a
possibility?
We maybe I should change it towe or I like am I worried about
my self image and what othersmight be thinking of me?
Adam (23:42):
Yeah.
Does, how does that feel?
How changing the pro changingthe pronoun to personal?
Does it make, makes it?
Jeff (23:49):
It does I mean I walk in the mornings now and there's one
hill that I walk up that I meanit's It's a good, it's a good
hill.
I mean, it gets my heart rategoing.
And I often wonder what I looklike, just suffering up that
hill.
And if someone walks past me, Ikind of stand up straight and
out and act like I'm notbreathing heavy
Adam (24:10):
yeah.
Yeah.
Like I got
Jeff (24:12):
I probably look, I'm about to pass out.
Adam (24:14):
yeah.
Jeff (24:16):
Uh, well, do we use
Adam (24:19):
I tried running up, I tried running up that hill one
time by your I had a veryhumiliating but you, you, you
keep going, you keep talking.
was, it was rough.
Jeff (24:30):
Adam, I never told you this, but I actually, um, my
cameras caught Um, they caughtyou right up there on the next
episode.
Adam (24:39):
do not want to
Jeff (24:40):
Embarrassing things that the McCord's Uh, well, do we use
our charm and likable persona toestablish support and alliances
too close.
It's too close, Adam.
Well, guess what?
This three part of our, actuallyas a gift to offer us to, um, do
(25:02):
we know how to direct respectwhenever I sense that and have a
do we meet our goals by devisingmore effective ways to
accomplish them?
Can we move forward confidently,not allowing our inner committee
to sabotage Do we delight inwhat we have accomplished
(25:24):
knowing that we have contributedsomething great and do we act
bravely for others withoutgetting trapped These are gifts
that the type 3 part of ourreally gifts not just the
negative converging path aswell.
Well, the type 9 has both itsstrength and liabilities.
(25:45):
So, the 9 part of our heartsgives us the ability to relax,
to enjoy the moment, slow downour minds.
And, it causes you to deal withstress by shutting down and
reacting negatively tointerruptions.
As I talked about before, callhim Phil.
Um, the 9 part of my heart canbe one, the part of me that
(26:06):
needs to relax.
and it's the part of me that canpractice silence and solitude,
eating some Taco Bell andwatching So how can we recognize
when this, um, when the blindspot path of so this is who we
(26:28):
are whenever, perhaps familymembers or our uh, do we deal
with stress by shutting down, bywe sometimes forget who we are
because we've chosen secure, uh,security and peaceful loyalty to
over, to others over our ownpassions of lose our When we're
(26:51):
overwhelmed, do we stubbornlyresist others demands and avoid
I've never done I can't imaginea Sixth ever, ever stubbornly
resisting,
Adam (27:07):
it sounds sounds totally foreign to
Jeff (27:12):
didn't know that was an option.
or do we express irritation whenothers interrupted or service or
insist that we get out of,comfortable routines Um, man,
that's funny for me becausesometimes when I get slack
messages when I'm on my walk inthe morning, I get kind of
initially irritated like this ismy time.
Not that I couldn't turn off thenotifications.
(27:33):
I totally could.
And they're just, you know,Doing their job, but for some
reason I can here.
That's the blind spot path ofWell, what's the growth path to
Well, we can take time to relaxto enjoy the moments enabling us
to slow down We can, uh,empathize with others and extend
(27:54):
compassion to them.
We can develop securerelationships, not by our over
functioning in relationships,but actually by becoming calmer,
and we can become emotionallypeaceful and more open and
receptive to others.
Uh, emotionally peaceful andmore open Um, and when, when
(28:17):
trusting our inner guidance, canreassure and support others with
encouragements I've noticedsomething, uh, Adam, and I don't
know if you've noticed andyou're, you're a super
encouraging certainly a gift ButI've, I've noticed too in my
life like Sometimes whenever Isay encouragements, like they
(28:38):
seem to land significantly Likethere is a real gift that this
part offers to be able to affirmpeople in very meaningful ways.
Do you notice that in your lifetoo?
Adam (28:47):
I, Yeah.
I do.
And, and, and, and it is the,uh, it is the type ninex
strength that shows up just tosee, to, to be able to put.
The type nine to be able to kindof put themselves in the shoes
of every other type and seeevery type objectively and
affirm what, you know, affirmthe, the, the weight, the
weightiness and the glory, ifyou will, of each type's
(29:09):
presence, you know, that's, thatthe nine has.
And I, I, I do see the ninegifting that to.
To me as a six.
Jeff (29:18):
I feel like I don't want to take up all the time and
share about my internal worldboth its gifts and liabilities.
Why don't you take us throughAWARE?
And let's just see what itbrings up for you in front of
Adam (29:32):
let's do that.
Yeah.
So the, the AWARE acronym, um,if you're listening to this
episode, uh, here's the, here'sthe basic steps.
Jeff with the type five.
It's the same for every type.
It just takes on the, you know,it's just nuanced, but Um, A
stands for ask, you know, askyourself why these parts of
(29:53):
yours showing up the way theyare.
Um, in fact, you, you, you canask the parts themselves.
It's kind of like, you know,the, the Psalmist in Psalm 42,
when he turns toward himself andwhy are you downcast on my soul?
And know, if you, if you say,who's he talking to in that
text, he's always talking tohimself.
And more specifically, he'stalking to a part of himself and
(30:15):
he's asking the part of himselfthat feels downcast a question.
It's not a judgmental question.
Why are you downcast?
What's wrong with a legitimate,it's genuine curiosity.
tell me your story.
Tell me.
how it is with you.
You know, how are you?
Are you okay?
Tell me, tell me what's goingon.
(30:35):
It's, it's, it's, so you want tomove into this posture of
curiosity with these parts ofshowing up.
And then, um, we move to the R,which is to receive, you know,
receiving the gift that all ofthese parts are offering you.
Um, you know, you have otherparts of you that can help you
identify your needs and movetoward them in healthier ways.
(30:57):
And that's a real gift.
So you want to receive.
what these parts are trying togive you.
They're, they're, they're allshowing up for you for a reason.
Um, and then E stands forengage.
So this is now having thisawareness.
Now that I have awakened towhat's going on in me and, uh, I
have this curious, kind posturetoward myself.
(31:18):
And I, uh, with all of that, nowI can move forward in a
different way.
You know, I move forward in anew way with, with all of these
parts of myself.
So that is the aware exercise.
And with that, how about weround out the head triad and
talk about type seven?
Shall we?
Jeff (31:36):
Sounds
Adam (31:37):
Let's do it.
So type sevens are connected totype one and type five on the
arrows.
And let's start with the typeUm, your type one part for you,
sevens gives you the ability toaccept life as it is and live
for a higher purpose.
Um, you know, you're going tonotice a strong sense of
responsibility and.
(31:58):
obligation to do the rightthing, to improve yourself in
the world.
That's going to show up.
You may also have, you know,some of the unhealthy traits of
the one that you notice.
And so sevens, you may notice apart of you becoming more and
more irritable, more and morecritical of yourself and others.
Um, and you may notice that thisis a part of you that is, uh, a
(32:18):
little more serious thatcarries, you know, a sense of
angst and anger aboutimperfections and just wanting
to improve, uh, things aroundyou.
So that's what, you know, youmay notice that.
Um, so let's talk about how tonotice the, the stress path
traits of a type one.
Um, this is the more unhealthycharacteristics.
(32:39):
Uh, so you may notice that.
Jeff (32:41):
uncharacteristic of the seven.
It's always surprising
Adam (32:44):
Mm hmm.
Jeff (32:46):
go down their
Adam (32:48):
very, very much like a different person.
Yeah.
So you'll notice yourselfimposing restrictions and
limitations on yourself to bemore productive.
That sounds very.
anti seven ish.
You know, don't put me in a box.
Don't put limits on me orrestrictions.
But you may notice that you havean inner critic that is sort of
(33:09):
showing up enforcing theserestrictions.
Um, sometimes you may notice anirritability.
Uh, like I said, a critical partof yourself, um, you may notice
and point out imperfectionsaround you and imperfections in
yourself.
Um, you could even become alittle bit of what you loathe,
which is a micromanager.
You could even start to notice apart of you that wants to sort
(33:32):
of micromanage and control and,and, you know, you may notice
yourself getting upset withpeople who are.
preventing you from experiencingyour ideal desires and in
situation, you may notice thiskind of frustration with other
people who are getting in yourway.
And so that's, you know, that'sthe stress path.
That's the unhealthy traits, butthank, thank God.
(33:53):
That's not all that a type oneoffers.
The type one also brings atremendous gift to the type
seven.
Um, as I mentioned earlier, ithelps you accept life as it is
both good and bad.
And.
Live for a higher purpose ratherthan just living for what's
next.
Live with a sense of deepmeaning and purpose, um, enables
(34:15):
you to focus on your toppriority and complete it on time
without getting scattered anddistracted, you know, enables
you to slow down and take yourtime and make sure that things
are done Right.
proper, correct, correctly.
Um, it helps you take ownershipof your responsibilities, even
if they're not fun.
You know, some of those detailsin life and some of those
(34:37):
responsibilities, the details ofour responsibilities are just
not fun, type one, uh, gives youwith the ability to just take
ownership of that and, uh, and,and do what you need to do.
Um, so sevens, let's move fromthe type one to the type five,
which is the other arrow thatyou are connected to.
(34:58):
Um, now for the type sevens, thetype five.
makes up the blind spot.
And so you may notice that youare becoming a part of you is
becoming really independent.
Um, maybe putting up someboundaries to protect yourself
from others, uh, being tooinvasive or too limiting in your
(35:19):
time.
You know, one of the interestingThings I've noticed in working
with sevens is when they are intheir public persona, like when
they're in, you know, at workand with friendships, they are
the life of the party.
They are, you know, theadventurous, you know, ones in
the group.
And, but then at home peoplethat they are most comfortable
(35:40):
with, they can more wall up andlike put up boundaries and more
space.
And it's like, wait a minute,what you, you know, you were.
At the party, you talk to everysingle person in the room for an
hour, you know, and at homethat's like can, go into a
little more of a retreat modearound the people they're most
comfortable with.
(36:01):
And it's not that that's bad.
It's just that it can be yourblind spot path showing up.
Um, you may need to sort outyour feelings by using your
intellect before moving forward.
Um, Uh, you may notice thatyou're growing tired of
constantly feeling like you needto be positive that may actually
start to exhaust you and you mayfind yourself becoming, you
know, more secretive andisolating yourself from others,
(36:23):
like I said, to recharge yourinternal battery.
And so that can be that blindspot five part of you showing
up, which usually happens inyour, in your closest
relationships where you feel themost comfortable, where your
guard is totally down.
Now, The five also brings atremendous gift to the seven.
Um, and this is the growth pathfor, uh, the type seven.
(36:45):
So you, you may notice that youbecome a remarkably creative and
able to combine yourintellectual insights and
passion to produce Somethingstunning, you know, um, you may
be able to connect with othersfrom both an intellectual and a
passionate place and generallygive them the insights that
you've, you've gathered overtime.
(37:06):
You may have the ability to pullthings apart and conceptualize
new ways to look at them from acreative viewpoint.
And then, uh, you just moreaccepting of life.
know, you may place more valueon, on wisdom and discipline
versus finding the next fun.
Experience or fun thing to do.
And so this can be some of theways that the type five shows up
in that growth path and givesyou a real gift as a seven.
(37:30):
Jeff, you want to take usthrough the aware exercise for
the sevens?
Jeff (37:34):
Yeah.
So the first thing I think is Ia way of applying this
specifically to a type seven isawaken to how you may be
relating to others.
Am I relating from a place of.
Restriction?
Uh, am I, am I becomingcritical?
Am I becoming avoided?
(37:55):
Am I moving away from Am Ishowing up to life with a lot of
energy?
Or is this the kind of energythat's kind of moving away from
people?
Okay, so that like it's the kindof energy that's this, uh, it's
not proportional to thecircumstances that you're in.
Second, rather than shame it,deny it, or justify it to simply
(38:17):
acknowledge that it's happeningbecome curious about it.
what's behind, what needs arebehind ask yourself, start by
asking yourself why thisparticular part of you is
showing up right now.
What needs are they seeking toaddress?
Next is receive, by givingyourself a moment, okay, just
(38:40):
setting aside a moment topractice some silence and
solitude, you may have some newthoughts about what's happening.
Receive these new thoughts.
Receive the gifts of other partshaving an opinion about what's
going on in your life.
And that maybe they're invitingyou to relate in a more
healthier way and to address aplace from, uh, addressing your
(39:01):
needs versus denying And thenlastly is engaging.
Engaging with yourself.
What does it look like to takecare of yourself in What does it
look like to re engage in yourrelationships in a way that
you're much more attuned topeople and not your own self
Adam (39:19):
Very good.
Very good.
Well said Jeff.
that brings us to the, the endof our, our conversation today.
We've, we've talked about thetop types, five type six and
type seven.
And, uh, I just want to thankyou for joining us for this
conversation.
Jeff, thanks for, uh, listening.
Thanks for leading us.
And, um, if you found thishelpful, be sure to like, and
subscribe.
(39:40):
Don't forget to ask us yourquestions.
You can reach out to us in thecomments.
Jeff and I love interacting withthe comments on YouTube and
Instagram.
You can also email us at info aturinagramcoach.
com.
Uh, don't forget to Tuning intoour next few episodes.
We're going to continue workingthrough the triad.
So we're going to talk through,um, the heart triad and the gut
(40:00):
triad in, in these futureepisodes.
So make sure you tune in forthose.
And if you would like to knowmore about the lines and arrows,
be sure to check out our book,more than your number.
Um, the last section of thatbook lays out the specifics for
each type and provides you withsome self coaching exercises to
help you get to know yourselfand practice self leadership,
(40:20):
especially this aware thing.
I mean, the more, the more youbuild aware into your life, um,
I mean, honestly, the more awareyou come, you become, and it's
a, it's really an amazing toolfor transformation.
So thank you all for joining us,Jeff.
It's been a real pleasure andwe'll see you all in the next
episode.
Hey, friends.
Well, have you ever wondered whythere are these lines and
sometimes arrows in theenneagram symbol?
And if you do understand whatthey are, is there anything you
can do about that dynamic ofyour ending your personality
type?
Well, you've come to the rightplace, particularly if you're a
type 56 or seven, because todaywe're going to be talking about
(00:22):
the lines and the arrows Welcometo your Enneagram Coach, the
podcast.
I am Jeff McCord, co founder andCEO of your Enneagram Coach.
We help millions of peoplearound the world, help them to
discover, explore in order forthem to become the selves that
(00:42):
they've always longed to be.
Today I am joined by AdamBreckenridge, the infamous, the
notorious director of coachinghere at YEC.
Adam (00:54):
Yeah.
Hey, Jeff, my kids, I callmyself at home, the notorious
DAD and they don't like it.
Jeff (01:01):
You don't like it.
Adam (01:02):
don't like it.
Jeff (01:03):
Oh, that's too bad.
What do they have a nicknamethat they like?
Adam (01:08):
No, no, no, no.
They just, they, they just, It'sjust dad.
Jeff (01:12):
It's just dad.
Adam (01:13):
yeah.
Jeff (01:15):
Uh, my kids, whenever, um, so the seven, well, we talk a
lot about parts and Enneagramtypes, connecting types.
So as a six, I have a seven wingand my kids call my seven wing
El McCordo because he is thelife of the party.
And, uh, that's the other namethat they call me like, Oh,
there's El McCordo.
Adam (01:33):
There he is.
Yeah.
Jeff (01:36):
he is.
I'm not sure what they call myTexas twang that comes out.
My accent that every once in awhile shows We don't have a name
for that.
they usually come out withprayer and fasting.
Adam (01:50):
Those kinds of demons.
That's the only way to get themout.
Jeff (01:54):
Oh, you can take the boy out of Texas.
Adam (01:57):
Yeah.
But if you want to take theTexas demons out of the boy,
Jeff (02:00):
Ooh.
They're pretty fierce.
They're pretty fierce.
They always threaten to leave,but they never really leave.
Adam (02:10):
and if they ever come back, they come back with a
vengeance.
oh,
Jeff (02:16):
oh, hey, okay.
Adam (02:17):
we're off to a good start.
Jeff (02:19):
We're off to a great start.
I mean, I just introduced, we'regoing to be talking about lines
and arrows and now we're gettinginto mixing spirituality with
being a Texan, um, which is itsown spirituality.
Let's be honest.
is, uh, for sure.
Well, hey, uh, in this series,we're going to help you to
better understand the lines and,or sometimes the Enneagram
(02:39):
symbol and learn how to practiceor how to use this insight for
your own self coaching andleadership.
Um, in this episode, we'reactually specifically going to
be talking about the types 7.
If you want a broaderunderstanding of each of the,
uh, lines and arrows, go back toour previous episode in 241,
where we just give you anoverview of the lines and
(03:01):
arrows.
But for this podcast, in thenext episode.
Upcoming episodes, we'll takethe rest of the numbers.
Each of the main type of theEnneagram has two, uh, lines
that connect the two othertypes.
Sometimes this is actuallyrepresented by an arrow.
And the reason why there's anarrow and not a line sometimes
is that teachers are trying toindicate that there's a dynamic
(03:24):
happening, that we move in aparticular direction and adopt
the styles of relating of theseother types.
We don't become the other but weadopt their relational style.
One way to think about, um,these lines and arrows is to
think about our, therelationship between Riley and
her emotions in the movies,Inside Out one and two.
(03:47):
Now we talked at length aboutthis and how that all shows up.
Um, and you know, Adam, I don'tknow if you'd like to, but would
you want to summarize what it isabout Inside Out and how it
captures the four movements of,The lines and arrows.
Adam (04:03):
Yeah, absolutely.
So in the film Inside Out, in,in Riley's inner world, um,
each, you know, her emotions arepersonified, each character, Um,
represents the emotion and hasits own personality and, and
they have their own responses,their own strategies, their own
core motivations, And they'reall working really, really hard
for Riley trying to help hersurvive.
(04:24):
You know, everything school girlis trying to live and survive.
They're trying to help herconnect and protect.
And, and again, they work reallyhard for the same is true about.
connecting types that you'retalking about, Jeff, you know,
um, although they don'trepresent an emotion, they do
represent a personality thosepersonality types have their own
(04:46):
responses.
They have their own strategies,um, defense mechanisms, they
have their own core motivationsand their own.
Each of them will show up foryou and, and really, you know,
fight to drive, to take over thecontrol board because they want
And they're going to show upsometimes in healthy ways.
And sometimes they're going toshow up in not so healthy
Jeff (05:10):
And the way that we talk about those, uh, particularly
here at YEC is that there arefour ways that these types show
up.
One is the stress path, whichmeans adopting the unhealthy
attributes of a type, uh, andthat stress paths can also be a
healthy thing called theconverging path, which is when
we're most free from thelimitations of our personality,
(05:31):
uh, restraints.
Now there's also the growthpath, which is adopting the
healthy attributes of a, of aconnecting type, but that growth
path can also be the blind spotpath where it's a way of
relating that we are blind toand it's usually with close
family members or close friends.
So as we promised the beginningof the show, that we're going to
(05:53):
be talking through the headtriad, the fives, sixes and
sevens.
So Adam, why won't you bring ithome for type fives?
Adam (06:02):
Yeah, let's talk about type five.
So type fives, um, are connectedto in the lines and the arrows,
uh, type seven.
So the type five would have inits internal family, if you
will, a type seven part.
Um, and so just to kind ofsummarize that, you know, if, if
you're a type five, that, thattype seven part is going to give
you the ability to.
(06:24):
enjoy a more exciting andabundant life with others.
It's going to, it's a part ofyou that's going to be
excitable, resilient,spontaneous, energetic,
optimistic.
Sometimes, you know, it's a partof you fives that will maybe
we'll be, uh, you Maybe, maybeinterested in taking on too many
(06:44):
exciting projects.
Um, you know, you know, thingsthat you're starting, but
struggling to complete.
This is some of the ways thatthis type seven can show up.
It's also, uh, your type sevenpart is, is it causes You to
have a kind of a racing mind.
It can, it show up in likerestlessness, hyperactivity.
(07:05):
Maybe having a hard time denyingwhat it desires.
You know, it doesn't want to bebored.
It doesn't want to be, if youfind yourself as a type five,
like I really don't want to belimited.
I don't want to be deprived.
I, you know, this is some of theways that this, this is probably
indicative of, this is your typeseven path part that's showing
up for So,
Jeff (07:24):
Adam, what comes to mind whenever I hear those
descriptions is Robin Williamsin the movie Flubber.
Adam (07:30):
Oh
Jeff (07:31):
Do you remember that?
Adam (07:31):
I do
Jeff (07:32):
Kind of the frenetic, absent minded type.
They're very, they can be bothhyper focused and kind of
scattered all at the same
Adam (07:41):
That's right.
That's exactly right.
So, um, you know.
you said, Jeff, these, these canshow up in different ways.
Let's talk about the stresspath.
Um, how to recognize themisaligned, this is the
misaligned traits of, of theconnecting type seven.
you know, do you sometimes, ifyou're a type five, do you
sometimes notice that you have aracing mind, as I said, become
(08:03):
scattered, restless,hyperactive.
Do you sometimes, you know,overbook your schedule with
fascinating experiences andinterests, or maybe.
Become a little bit impulsiveand take on too many projects.
do you find yourself as a typefive becoming more talkative
with others?
Maybe to the point that you'reeven like having an out of body
experience.
What am I doing?
(08:23):
Oversharing?
Well, I'm sharing, you know,sharing new possibilities that
you see, sharing informationthat you've absorbed.
Um, maybe you've become aradically focused on learning
everything at like a feverishpace, causing you to be less
patient with people.
That's an example of that stresspath and how the type seven can
(08:43):
show up, you know, um, in theaverage to unhealthy traits of
the type seven.
let's talk about the convergingpath.
This is the, this is like typefives emerging as their
healthiest self.
This is whenever the, healthy,most mature, uh, self actualized
traits of the type seven show upfor a five.
(09:06):
And this is where you findyourself maybe enjoying life
more to the fullest, you know,Trusting that God is benevolent,
that He's kind, that He's goingto provide for your needs.
You're probably a little morefun and spontaneous and maybe
physically active, you know,less fearful about that
catastrophic depletion.
Still having your boundaries,still needing your solitude,
(09:29):
still needing your time torecharge, but but less
withholding.
Less of the avarice andwithholding of yourself and more
generous and spontaneous, um,in, in the way you show up
relationally, you, know, youprobably, um, you're a little
more hopeful, optimistic,joyful, you know, seeing that
life is full of purpose andmeaning.
(09:49):
So that's that Jeff, that's thatconverging path and how the
seven can show up in a healthysense.
Anything you want to add tothat?
Jeff (09:57):
Well, I was just thinking, you know, we, to each of these
parts, we have relationshipswith these parts.
So we may only be able toobserve one attribute or one
side of a part.
So particularly in, uh,Enneagram teaching, when we only
They're trying to focus onstress and growth path.
We miss out on the wholeopportunity of recognizing that
(10:18):
there's a whole other side thatthis part of us brings, but I
would imagine for a five thatthey don't enjoy being scattered
or overbooked or, And theyprobably don't enjoy oversharing
with others whenever they getreally excited but this seven
part of their heart is alsosomething that can bring them
life and fun and spontaneity.
(10:41):
It really is kind of the hope ofthe five to be able to kind of
let go of the fives restraintsthat hold them back to be more
abundant minded to be lessscarcity minded.
And so you may have arelationship of ambivalence
towards the seven party of herheart.
Because you, you don't trust it,um, but there is a gift there
and we're going to show anexercise at the, when Adam, uh,
(11:02):
after he goes through the typeeight part, um, that's going to
help you to recognize this andto practice some self leadership
so that you can bring out thehealthiest part of this seven
part of you and the eight partof you, uh, so that you can be
more present to yourself
Adam (11:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very good.
Um, let's talk about the, theother path or the other arrow or
line that type fives have.
We've talked about the seven,fives are also connected type
eight.
So here's kind of a summary ofyour connecting type eight, the
eight part of you, if you will.
(11:37):
your eight, Path or part givesyou the ability to trust your
instincts, to take action.
Um, this is the part of you thatis decisive and assertive,
protective of yourself andothers.
you know, if you feel that yourspace is being, you know, your
energy is being intruded on Youknow, this is the part of you
that has no problem stepping upand challenging anyone that is
(12:00):
breaching your boundaries.
your eight part also causes youto, uh, to, to confront, you
know, anybody that displeasesyou.
It's the part of you that,again, it can be intense.
can be confrontational is alsobig hearted.
You know, this is the part ofyou that's got, it's just, it's,
(12:21):
tenderness to it.
There's, and there's a strengthto it, a unique tenderness and
strength that the type eightthis is, um, just a summary of
how this part of you shows upnow, uh, for the type five,,
the, the blind spot is, is typeeight.
So this is the unhealthycharacteristics of the type
eight.
And again, the F the type fivedoesn't become an eight, but,
(12:43):
but gravitates over and kind ofborrows from the unhealthy
traits of the eight.
And so you may notice yourself,um, you know, in this case, when
you're, when you're in thatpath, when that part of you
showing up, however you want tothink about it, you may notice
yourself asserting boundaries,forcefully confronting people.
Uh, becoming more aggressive,maybe even vengeful, especially
(13:03):
if you are blindsided, if you'rereally caught off guard, or if
you feel betrayed, um, you know,you may question others
competence while asserting yourown knowledge with, with
strength.
Um, and there can be, you know,this intellectual sort of, uh,
intellectual ego that begins toemerge.
Um, you may become more privateand secretive.
(13:25):
Because there's this, this, thisfear of being betrayed and fear
of vulnerability that the, thatthe type eight has.
So think about that for a typefive who already loves, you
know, solitude and to be alittle more withdrawn, like
values a little more of that,you know, solid solitary life.
Um, and then the type eightsfear of vulnerability.
(13:47):
And, and being, being takenadvantage of, or being betrayed
when that shows up for the typefive, that can really create a
tall, thick fence that you startto display with other Um, and so
this is some of the ways that,you know, this is the blind spot
for the type five.
Now the growth path for the typefive is the healthy traits of a
(14:10):
type Um, so in this case, thetype eight gifts you with self
confidence.
decisiveness, a healthy, uh,assertiveness.
Um, you may find yourselftrusting your instincts,
becoming bolder, um, you know,getting out of your head and
(14:31):
into your gut a little takingaction.
So fives, I know sixes canreally can get into be prone to
uh, and really thinking beforethey act.
So the joke is, you know,whereas some Enneagram types are
more, you know, Uh, ready, fire,aim, you know, fives can be
(14:51):
ready, ready, aim, aim, aim,aim, aim, ready, aim, aim, fire.
But, uh, in, in the healthy, in,in, in, in the growth path, when
the healthy, uh, aid is showingup for you in a healthy way,
You're quicker to take action.
Um, you're quicker to operateout of your gut And that's a
gift that the Um, you're alsonotice you may be more active,
(15:15):
you know, you may be justphysically more active, more
engaged with your life.
Um, you may isolate yourselfless.
And, and, and be a little moreof a snowplow when it comes to
blazing a path for others withthe knowledge and wisdom that
you have and sharing theknowledge and wisdom that you
have.
And you probably also noticedthat you're willing to take on
(15:36):
more responsibility anddemonstrate courage and
confidence.
And that's the, that's thegiftedness that the type eight
brings you.
Um, in that growth path, Jeff,you want to talk about the, uh,
you want to add anything tothat, that you want to add and
you want to lead us through theexercise.
Jeff (15:52):
sure, you know, I love the idea that part of us gifts you
know, there whenever we we sortof can sometimes pick a how to
or address a problem what theEnneagram does for us in
(16:15):
understanding these parts isthat we can see it from another
That I might be inclined as atype six to address a problem
with heart and go to my booksand then there's another part of
me.
The seven part of the wing.
Let's say that wants to jump inwith excitement and adventure
(16:37):
and So the idea that we havethese parts as gifts and
sometimes liabilities.
gifts to help us, when you can,you can think of back to the
Inside Out movie where just onepart trying to control isn't
what we're looking We're tryingto, we're looking for
integration one of the exerciseor the exercise that Beth and I
(17:03):
have developed that, uh, wepractice ourselves and AWARE
stands for Awaken, Welcome, Ask,and the way that we like to
think about this, particularlyas it relates awaken.
How are your seven or eightparts showing up in your life
(17:25):
right Are they showing up inyour thinking?
Are they showing up in youremotions?
are they even showing up in yourbody?
next one is welcome and what dowe mean by welcome is that
rather than denying orjustifying these attributes and
just kind of accepting them asthey are, become curious because
(17:47):
at times we can kind of moveaway from try to deny them what
is it we as our own leaders, ourown team leads can actually ask.
by asking yourself why theseparts are showing up for you in
(18:10):
the What needs are they seekingto that you may not receive.
the gift that you are more thanone part.
You have other parts of can helpyou identify your needs and move
towards them in healthier ways.
What do the healthier parts Sothink about the difference of
(18:35):
sort of, uh, other peopleintruding on your is an
unhealthy eight response thatAdam was But what would it be
like to, uh, look at it fromembraces the the these two parts
of you may be in competition tosome degree, but they have
(18:57):
needs.
And so what we really want to dois just consider the possibility
and to use our imagination tothink, okay, is another way,
another part of And then lastlyis engage.
To engage yourself, yourrelationships, Is it, what's
(19:18):
your plan for reevaluating howyou related and then re engaging
in a new way why don't we diveinto type six?
Uh, we're familiar with thisneighborhood.
Adam (19:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We,
Jeff (19:35):
here.
We've, we grew up here.
We live here.
Adam (19:38):
Yeah.
I feel like this, I feel likethis, I feel like this could
get, this could get dangerous
Jeff (19:44):
That's right.
Yeah.
There's a lot of sexiness lot of
Adam (19:49):
Let's be honest.
We're 60 and we know it, youknow, It just is.
what It is.
Don't, don't fight it.
Don't fight it.
Jeff (20:01):
not going to edit that out.
We're going to leave that inthere, Adam.
So from now on, uh, it'll, itshall be known.
You're lucky he didn't start,like, making some kind of banjo
or guitar sound
Adam (20:15):
I have a guitar, right?
I have a guitar right here.
Jeff (20:17):
I, I know, I know what you could do,
Adam (20:19):
the, well, the, but you know, the other one that we
didn't say is, um, we'rebringing 60 We didn't, we
didn't, we didn't, we didn't
Jeff (20:27):
I, I gotta be honest with you, I don't know if I'm gonna
be a candidate I, lost mysexiness back in the 90s.
Adam (20:40):
way back in the night.
Wait, you mean way back in the1900s
Jeff (20:43):
yeah, that's right.
Although I was really pleased.
I was pleasantly surprised.
Someone on YouTube commented ona, one of our initial episodes
after Beth's sabbatical.
Oh, I can't remember the name ofthe guy, the actor, but someone
Oh, Slater from, uh,
Adam (21:05):
Slater?
Jeff (21:06):
No, not Christian Slater, the, uh, oh gosh, Saved by the
Bell
Adam (21:11):
Oh, AC Slater.
Jeff (21:13):
AC Slater.
Yeah.
Um, somewhat, yeah, compared meto him.
I'm like an older version ofhim.
I'm like, oh, that's nice.
Thank you for that.
Adam (21:23):
And I am, I can't be your Zach Morris.
I'm probably closer to screechthan I am Zach you know, that's
okay.
It is
Jeff (21:31):
Oh man, it's saved by the bell and Hey, Let's talk about
the type three and type nine,the two connecting types for the
type Um, so we're going to lookthrough each of these both in
their healthy contributionsunhealthy and growth spot and
converging.
So for the type six, you'reconnected to type three.
(21:55):
And that three part gives youthe ability to trust yourself
and not allow your innercommittee to sabotage your
actions.
Um, and so, yeah, and it cancause you to worry about your
self image and to keep busy toavoid feeling anxious.
Now, one way that you canunderstand how to recognize when
(22:17):
this three part of you isshowing up, particularly as a
stress is that one, do youarrogantly believe that you
alone are seeing all thepossibilities and scenarios, is
really, I mean, accused me ofthis all the time because I
don't think I'm a pessimist, I'ma realist, but I don't think
that other people what I'mseeing.
(22:38):
Uh, and it, there's an arroganceabout it, like I, oh, I knew
that was coming, uh, and it'skind of surprising that
arrogance can come out of an, ananxious six, but, it is true and
it's a part of me and it's Um,so this can also show up as
keeping busy to avoid feelinganxious feelings, yes.
(23:02):
don't know if I'm going to likethis because I just like am I
just reading all my characterdefects like in front of
Adam (23:07):
yeah, you're no, you're no, no, you're reading all of my
character defects in
Jeff (23:13):
let's
Adam (23:14):
is where, this is where you've gone from like stepping
on my toes were flat out
Jeff (23:21):
Right.
Oh, man so Why don't I put itrather than you?
Adam, do you refuse to trysomething new if failure is a
possibility?
We maybe I should change it towe or I like am I worried about
my self image and what othersmight be thinking of me?
Adam (23:42):
Yeah.
Does, how does that feel?
How changing the pro changingthe pronoun to personal?
Does it make, makes it?
Jeff (23:49):
It does I mean I walk in the mornings now and there's one
hill that I walk up that I meanit's It's a good, it's a good
hill.
I mean, it gets my heart rategoing.
And I often wonder what I looklike, just suffering up that
hill.
And if someone walks past me, Ikind of stand up straight and
out and act like I'm notbreathing heavy
Adam (24:10):
yeah.
Yeah.
Like I got
Jeff (24:12):
I probably look, I'm about to pass out.
Adam (24:14):
yeah.
Jeff (24:16):
Uh, well, do we use
Adam (24:19):
I tried running up, I tried running up that hill one
time by your I had a veryhumiliating but you, you, you
keep going, you keep talking.
was, it was rough.
Jeff (24:30):
Adam, I never told you this, but I actually, um, my
cameras caught Um, they caughtyou right up there on the next
episode.
Adam (24:39):
do not want to
Jeff (24:40):
Embarrassing things that the McCord's Uh, well, do we use
our charm and likable persona toestablish support and alliances
too close.
It's too close, Adam.
Well, guess what?
This three part of our, actuallyas a gift to offer us to, um, do
(25:02):
we know how to direct respectwhenever I sense that and have a
do we meet our goals by devisingmore effective ways to
accomplish them?
Can we move forward confidently,not allowing our inner committee
to sabotage Do we delight inwhat we have accomplished
(25:24):
knowing that we have contributedsomething great and do we act
bravely for others withoutgetting trapped These are gifts
that the type 3 part of ourreally gifts not just the
negative converging path aswell.
Well, the type 9 has both itsstrength and liabilities.
(25:45):
So, the 9 part of our heartsgives us the ability to relax,
to enjoy the moment, slow downour minds.
And, it causes you to deal withstress by shutting down and
reacting negatively tointerruptions.
As I talked about before, callhim Phil.
Um, the 9 part of my heart canbe one, the part of me that
(26:06):
needs to relax.
and it's the part of me that canpractice silence and solitude,
eating some Taco Bell andwatching So how can we recognize
when this, um, when the blindspot path of so this is who we
(26:28):
are whenever, perhaps familymembers or our uh, do we deal
with stress by shutting down, bywe sometimes forget who we are
because we've chosen secure, uh,security and peaceful loyalty to
over, to others over our ownpassions of lose our When we're
(26:51):
overwhelmed, do we stubbornlyresist others demands and avoid
I've never done I can't imaginea Sixth ever, ever stubbornly
resisting,
Adam (27:07):
it sounds sounds totally foreign to
Jeff (27:12):
didn't know that was an option.
or do we express irritation whenothers interrupted or service or
insist that we get out of,comfortable routines Um, man,
that's funny for me becausesometimes when I get slack
messages when I'm on my walk inthe morning, I get kind of
initially irritated like this ismy time.
Not that I couldn't turn off thenotifications.
(27:33):
I totally could.
And they're just, you know,Doing their job, but for some
reason I can here.
That's the blind spot path ofWell, what's the growth path to
Well, we can take time to relaxto enjoy the moments enabling us
to slow down We can, uh,empathize with others and extend
(27:54):
compassion to them.
We can develop securerelationships, not by our over
functioning in relationships,but actually by becoming calmer,
and we can become emotionallypeaceful and more open and
receptive to others.
Uh, emotionally peaceful andmore open Um, and when, when
(28:17):
trusting our inner guidance, canreassure and support others with
encouragements I've noticedsomething, uh, Adam, and I don't
know if you've noticed andyou're, you're a super
encouraging certainly a gift ButI've, I've noticed too in my
life like Sometimes whenever Isay encouragements, like they
(28:38):
seem to land significantly Likethere is a real gift that this
part offers to be able to affirmpeople in very meaningful ways.
Do you notice that in your lifetoo?
Adam (28:47):
I, Yeah.
I do.
And, and, and, and it is the,uh, it is the type ninex
strength that shows up just tosee, to, to be able to put.
The type nine to be able to kindof put themselves in the shoes
of every other type and seeevery type objectively and
affirm what, you know, affirmthe, the, the weight, the
weightiness and the glory, ifyou will, of each type's
(29:09):
presence, you know, that's, thatthe nine has.
And I, I, I do see the ninegifting that to.
To me as a six.
Jeff (29:18):
I feel like I don't want to take up all the time and
share about my internal worldboth its gifts and liabilities.
Why don't you take us throughAWARE?
And let's just see what itbrings up for you in front of
Adam (29:32):
let's do that.
Yeah.
So the, the AWARE acronym, um,if you're listening to this
episode, uh, here's the, here'sthe basic steps.
Jeff with the type five.
It's the same for every type.
It just takes on the, you know,it's just nuanced, but Um, A
stands for ask, you know, askyourself why these parts of
(29:53):
yours showing up the way theyare.
Um, in fact, you, you, you canask the parts themselves.
It's kind of like, you know,the, the Psalmist in Psalm 42,
when he turns toward himself andwhy are you downcast on my soul?
And know, if you, if you say,who's he talking to in that
text, he's always talking tohimself.
And more specifically, he'stalking to a part of himself and
(30:15):
he's asking the part of himselfthat feels downcast a question.
It's not a judgmental question.
Why are you downcast?
What's wrong with a legitimate,it's genuine curiosity.
tell me your story.
Tell me.
how it is with you.
You know, how are you?
Are you okay?
Tell me, tell me what's goingon.
(30:35):
It's, it's, it's, so you want tomove into this posture of
curiosity with these parts ofshowing up.
And then, um, we move to the R,which is to receive, you know,
receiving the gift that all ofthese parts are offering you.
Um, you know, you have otherparts of you that can help you
identify your needs and movetoward them in healthier ways.
(30:57):
And that's a real gift.
So you want to receive.
what these parts are trying togive you.
They're, they're, they're allshowing up for you for a reason.
Um, and then E stands forengage.
So this is now having thisawareness.
Now that I have awakened towhat's going on in me and, uh, I
have this curious, kind posturetoward myself.
(31:18):
And I, uh, with all of that, nowI can move forward in a
different way.
You know, I move forward in anew way with, with all of these
parts of myself.
So that is the aware exercise.
And with that, how about weround out the head triad and
talk about type seven?
Shall we?
Jeff (31:36):
Sounds
Adam (31:37):
Let's do it.
So type sevens are connected totype one and type five on the
arrows.
And let's start with the typeUm, your type one part for you,
sevens gives you the ability toaccept life as it is and live
for a higher purpose.
Um, you know, you're going tonotice a strong sense of
responsibility and.
(31:58):
obligation to do the rightthing, to improve yourself in
the world.
That's going to show up.
You may also have, you know,some of the unhealthy traits of
the one that you notice.
And so sevens, you may notice apart of you becoming more and
more irritable, more and morecritical of yourself and others.
Um, and you may notice that thisis a part of you that is, uh, a
(32:18):
little more serious thatcarries, you know, a sense of
angst and anger aboutimperfections and just wanting
to improve, uh, things aroundyou.
So that's what, you know, youmay notice that.
Um, so let's talk about how tonotice the, the stress path
traits of a type one.
Um, this is the more unhealthycharacteristics.
(32:39):
Uh, so you may notice that.
Jeff (32:41):
uncharacteristic of the seven.
It's always surprising
Adam (32:44):
Mm hmm.
Jeff (32:46):
go down their
Adam (32:48):
very, very much like a different person.
Yeah.
So you'll notice yourselfimposing restrictions and
limitations on yourself to bemore productive.
That sounds very.
anti seven ish.
You know, don't put me in a box.
Don't put limits on me orrestrictions.
But you may notice that you havean inner critic that is sort of
(33:09):
showing up enforcing theserestrictions.
Um, sometimes you may notice anirritability.
Uh, like I said, a critical partof yourself, um, you may notice
and point out imperfectionsaround you and imperfections in
yourself.
Um, you could even become alittle bit of what you loathe,
which is a micromanager.
You could even start to notice apart of you that wants to sort
(33:32):
of micromanage and control and,and, you know, you may notice
yourself getting upset withpeople who are.
preventing you from experiencingyour ideal desires and in
situation, you may notice thiskind of frustration with other
people who are getting in yourway.
And so that's, you know, that'sthe stress path.
That's the unhealthy traits, butthank, thank God.
(33:53):
That's not all that a type oneoffers.
The type one also brings atremendous gift to the type
seven.
Um, as I mentioned earlier, ithelps you accept life as it is
both good and bad.
And.
Live for a higher purpose ratherthan just living for what's
next.
Live with a sense of deepmeaning and purpose, um, enables
(34:15):
you to focus on your toppriority and complete it on time
without getting scattered anddistracted, you know, enables
you to slow down and take yourtime and make sure that things
are done Right.
proper, correct, correctly.
Um, it helps you take ownershipof your responsibilities, even
if they're not fun.
You know, some of those detailsin life and some of those
(34:37):
responsibilities, the details ofour responsibilities are just
not fun, type one, uh, gives youwith the ability to just take
ownership of that and, uh, and,and do what you need to do.
Um, so sevens, let's move fromthe type one to the type five,
which is the other arrow thatyou are connected to.
(34:58):
Um, now for the type sevens, thetype five.
makes up the blind spot.
And so you may notice that youare becoming a part of you is
becoming really independent.
Um, maybe putting up someboundaries to protect yourself
from others, uh, being tooinvasive or too limiting in your
(35:19):
time.
You know, one of the interestingThings I've noticed in working
with sevens is when they are intheir public persona, like when
they're in, you know, at workand with friendships, they are
the life of the party.
They are, you know, theadventurous, you know, ones in
the group.
And, but then at home peoplethat they are most comfortable
(35:40):
with, they can more wall up andlike put up boundaries and more
space.
And it's like, wait a minute,what you, you know, you were.
At the party, you talk to everysingle person in the room for an
hour, you know, and at homethat's like can, go into a
little more of a retreat modearound the people they're most
comfortable with.
(36:01):
And it's not that that's bad.
It's just that it can be yourblind spot path showing up.
Um, you may need to sort outyour feelings by using your
intellect before moving forward.
Um, Uh, you may notice thatyou're growing tired of
constantly feeling like you needto be positive that may actually
start to exhaust you and you mayfind yourself becoming, you
know, more secretive andisolating yourself from others,
(36:23):
like I said, to recharge yourinternal battery.
And so that can be that blindspot five part of you showing
up, which usually happens inyour, in your closest
relationships where you feel themost comfortable, where your
guard is totally down.
Now, The five also brings atremendous gift to the seven.
Um, and this is the growth pathfor, uh, the type seven.
(36:45):
So you, you may notice that youbecome a remarkably creative and
able to combine yourintellectual insights and
passion to produce Somethingstunning, you know, um, you may
be able to connect with othersfrom both an intellectual and a
passionate place and generallygive them the insights that
you've, you've gathered overtime.
(37:06):
You may have the ability to pullthings apart and conceptualize
new ways to look at them from acreative viewpoint.
And then, uh, you just moreaccepting of life.
know, you may place more valueon, on wisdom and discipline
versus finding the next fun.
Experience or fun thing to do.
And so this can be some of theways that the type five shows up
in that growth path and givesyou a real gift as a seven.
(37:30):
Jeff, you want to take usthrough the aware exercise for
the sevens?
Jeff (37:34):
Yeah.
So the first thing I think is Ia way of applying this
specifically to a type seven isawaken to how you may be
relating to others.
Am I relating from a place of.
Restriction?
Uh, am I, am I becomingcritical?
Am I becoming avoided?
(37:55):
Am I moving away from Am Ishowing up to life with a lot of
energy?
Or is this the kind of energythat's kind of moving away from
people?
Okay, so that like it's the kindof energy that's this, uh, it's
not proportional to thecircumstances that you're in.
Second, rather than shame it,deny it, or justify it to simply
(38:17):
acknowledge that it's happeningbecome curious about it.
what's behind, what needs arebehind ask yourself, start by
asking yourself why thisparticular part of you is
showing up right now.
What needs are they seeking toaddress?
Next is receive, by givingyourself a moment, okay, just
(38:40):
setting aside a moment topractice some silence and
solitude, you may have some newthoughts about what's happening.
Receive these new thoughts.
Receive the gifts of other partshaving an opinion about what's
going on in your life.
And that maybe they're invitingyou to relate in a more
healthier way and to address aplace from, uh, addressing your
(39:01):
needs versus denying And thenlastly is engaging.
Engaging with yourself.
What does it look like to takecare of yourself in What does it
look like to re engage in yourrelationships in a way that
you're much more attuned topeople and not your own self
Adam (39:19):
Very good.
Very good.
Well said Jeff.
that brings us to the, the endof our, our conversation today.
We've, we've talked about thetop types, five type six and
type seven.
And, uh, I just want to thankyou for joining us for this
conversation.
Jeff, thanks for, uh, listening.
Thanks for leading us.
And, um, if you found thishelpful, be sure to like, and
subscribe.
(39:40):
Don't forget to ask us yourquestions.
You can reach out to us in thecomments.
Jeff and I love interacting withthe comments on YouTube and
Instagram.
You can also email us at info aturinagramcoach.
com.
Uh, don't forget to Tuning intoour next few episodes.
We're going to continue workingthrough the triad.
So we're going to talk through,um, the heart triad and the gut
(40:00):
triad in, in these futureepisodes.
So make sure you tune in forthose.
And if you would like to knowmore about the lines and arrows,
be sure to check out our book,more than your number.
Um, the last section of thatbook lays out the specifics for
each type and provides you withsome self coaching exercises to
help you get to know yourselfand practice self leadership,
(40:20):
especially this aware thing.
I mean, the more, the more youbuild aware into your life, um,
I mean, honestly, the more awareyou come, you become, and it's
a, it's really an amazing toolfor transformation.
So thank you all for joining us,Jeff.
It's been a real pleasure andwe'll see you all in the next
episode.
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