November 27, 2024 • 22 mins
In this episode of Youth Inc., Greg Olsen tackles the complex role of social media in youth sports. Joined by UCLA Men’s Basketball Coach Mick Cronin, they explore how social media impacts young athletes—from the pressure of constant visibility to its potential for positive promotion. Mick shares insights on how players are affected by what they see online and why delaying social media use is often the best approach. Learn strategies for helping athletes navigate the digital world, while balancing self-promotion with mental well-being.
Go to maxu.co to learn more, and register using code YouthInc24 for $10 off a yearly subscription.
Thank you to our partners MaxU and Players Health for presenting this season of Youth Inc.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey everyone Greg Olson here if you're just listening you're
missing half the experience headover to the you think YouTube
channel right now for daily mustsee content that is made
specifically for parents coachesand athletes.
Now sit back and enjoy the episode in today's digital age
social media is a powerful tool in youth sports offering
(00:21):
athletes a platform to showcase their skills connect with peers
and find inspiration but with these benefits come challenges
pressure to perform comparisons and the potential for negativity
in this episode we dive into thegood the bad and the ugly of
social media use in youth sportswe'll explore how social media
(00:42):
can be used to build. The positive online presence the
importance of setting boundariesand how to navigate the darker
side of online interactions it'sa conversation every athlete
parent and coach needs to have social media is here to stay but
how we use it can make all the difference join us as we uncover
strategies to help young athletes navigate the digital
(01:04):
world with confidence integrity and a focus on what truly
matters. Something that these kids are
growing up in nowadays that maybe you and I didn't have when
we were young kids growing up like when I when I was a high
school kid starting to get recruited there was like
Rivals.com maybe ESPN.com and there was like recruiting
(01:25):
rankings that was pretty much ityou had you knew the kids in
your town and then every summer my dad would take us to a
football camp and that would be our only real exposure to kids.
Outside of our town we had no idea how good we were relative
to the rest of the country really until I went to college
that was really my first real taste nowadays.
(01:47):
I could I could Google a kids name right now at 10:00 years
old and tell you how many tournaments he's pitched in how
hard does he throw what was his batting average I could look him
up on Instagram and find every home run he's hit and every
video of every workout session he's done with his mom dad
trainer the social media world these kids grow up in and and
right now with middle school kids we're like right on the
cusp where we don't want to say no to everything.
(02:11):
And just create that that tension between parent child but
we're also going to sit here andsay yes to everything like you
can't have every Snapchat Instagram but we're not going to
give it all right I just I'm I'mso afraid of not just my kids
just kids in general because I see it happen to adults and we
all probably fall victim to it at a time but really the young
(02:32):
kids. So many people right now are
getting their identity through the impressions that they put
out on social media and then in response what they get back
right they they form how important I am how good am I
based on highlight reel culture that people are only posting
their highs they're only postingtheir successes they're not
(02:54):
posting their bad plays they're not posting the pick 6 that lost
the game they're they're not posting any of the bad so then
our kids go out there who don't have the scope of.
Of reality of the UPS and the downs and get a better feel that
life is not all rainbows and everything 's a success but they
see Oh my God all Michael Gervais has is success and he's
(03:14):
the 12 year old in California why don't I have that level of
success I don't have that it scares me with what these kids
are exposed to social media wiseand how they form their identity
and then they try to live up to where it's like dad I need an
Instagram account I'm like what.No you don't well that's how you
get people to know that's how you get your name out there they
(03:35):
said name out there for what you're in 7th grade you're in
6th grade name out there for what.
You know kids are. How should families handle?
That I see you. Rubbing your forehead it's it's
a stressful topic. I'll tell you what like it's so
clear to me and I'll I'm going to back my position up the US
(03:58):
surgeon general just announced. How dangerous social media is
for children so when we've got the highest medical professional
in the country talking about thedanger of mental health or the
danger of social media mental health that's pretty take that
as A and you and I both know it intimately that social media for
(04:21):
us with adult brains can get away from itself?
I I feel it all the time. So everything that you just
managed. Or mentioned is incredibly
powerful and overwhelming kids are outgunned delay as long as
you can and what we want to build is an internal sense of
self as opposed to an other an other ring of people determining
(04:46):
who who I am and that's what really social media is it's an
outsourcing of identity at in its worst and so delay as long
as you can. We are outgunned there's
hundreds of PhDs neuroscientistsand psychologists that are
engineering these products to hijack our brain 's thinking and
attention it reduces attention span so that we're when we're
(05:09):
flicking through we're detraining deep focus deep focus
is one of the necessary capabilities to live in the
present moment the present moment is where high performance
happens we're deconditioning anddetraining away.
From what it means to live a good life the the other piece of
that is you know what flow stateis you know what the zone is
(05:32):
defocus is the entry point into flow state so if we're
deconditioning and detraining defocus we'll never really
understand what we're capable ofthat's that's independent of the
identity piece so take the identity piece square on take
the attention piece square on and delay as long as you can.
(05:53):
This episode of you think is brought to you by Max you a
youth sports training program focused on mindset development
in young athletes instead of reading an ad to you today I
decided to sit down with Alex Auerbach someone who specializes
in mental fitness with his company momentum labs to talk
about the importance of Max you Alex thank you so much for being
(06:13):
here I'm looking forward to diving a little deeper.
Into your journey and just this incredibly important area of
mental health and and mental acuity and awareness for for
young athletes a group that we've we've talked with that you
think Max you I know that's a group they have some really cool
kind of evaluation messages and how they can kind of help kids
work through their identity and their mental health and talk a
(06:35):
little bit about your your work with them and what you've done
with Max you what you've seen from them what elements of their
programs have you guys really connected with.
Yeah I love what Max U is doing I think they are providing a
really simple but effective way to help young athletes and
parents understand the personality dimensions behind
their young athletes and then develop skills related to
(06:57):
improve whatever area seems likea limitation or something they
just want to get better at rightand so the Max U tool is based
on the big 5 personality assessment which is you know a
common framework for understanding personality it's
things like openness conscientiousness extroversion
agreeableness. And what people might call
neuroticism but is really like your tendency to be a little bit
(07:18):
more anxious or very deliberate and thoughtful right and what
they've done is help young athletes understand how their
personality plays out in their life context by giving them an
animal that they relate to and it's becomes a simple framework
to grasp who you are what makes you special and what strengths
that you have and I think that strengths based focus is really
(07:38):
powerful and so we use it the same way I would use any
personality assessment with a pro athlete.
Honestly or any athlete I work with right is I want to
understand you as a person and personality is just an enduring
pattern of behavior right so it's it's not totally fixed but
it's also not the easiest thing to change and so if we can
understand who you are what motivates you what makes you
(07:59):
tick we can get a lot more out of a one-on-one coaching
experience and I think that's what makes Max you so powerful
is whether you're a sports coachor a mindset coach like me
having this data allows you to best understand OK what could I
do with this athlete to get the most.
Out of them and then they've gota platform that allows you to
teach athletes related skills towhatever element of their
(08:20):
personality needs some development or is already a
strength that you want to enhance right so they can teach
things like how to practice mindfulness or learn a little
bit more about self-awareness orunderstand your strengths and
how you leverage them in sports or school I think those
characteristics are really really powerful and allow you to
get the most out of the athletesyou're working with and like I
said at the pro level I don't know if you guys did this in
Carolina I know one thing we didin Toronto was try to understand
(08:43):
the players that we had. And then how do we work with
them individually and you're talking about this with the team
you coach now right every kid isa bit different and you can't
just take a one-size-fits-all and Max U allows you to sort of
get that tailored feedback and treat each kid the way that's
going to resonate most for them and then give them the tools
they need to develop. So true I mean until you
identify the specific individualand find the best way to connect
(09:06):
with them it's hard to be a goodcoach it's hard to because you
know you're not going to earn their trust they're going to put
up their their walls you're not going to really connect with
them at a level that just because it might not be the
level that you as the coach might function at that doesn't
matter what matters is identifying the individual the
athlete from my my experience with Max you just going through
some of the assessment stuff andthe kids getting their animals
(09:29):
and whatnot. You you take a look at him and
all of a sudden there's like this raise in self-awareness and
going Oh my God like I never thought about that but that does
really describe me better than maybe I could have described
myself and then you know the practical tools and the follow
up after that I think is super cool here you think we want to
bring value to you the parents coaches and the athletes
(09:50):
listening in everything that we do check out Max you today and
let them know that you think sent you now back to the
episode. So what do you say to the parent
that says but Michael I live in a small town I got a really
talented 16 year old kid how he's good enough to play in
college he goes to a small school they don't get a lot of
college recruiters if I don't promote on social media how is
(10:12):
anybody going to find him. Yeah that's a great scenario.
Again those are the arguments those are that's the counter
arguments that I get from peoplewhen I say.
Do you really need all this and they say well yeah because you
get offers you get college coaches follow you recruiters?
No problem I use it as a broadcast system the adult takes
(10:32):
over and runs that broadcast system for the kid it does not
need to be the kid posting and checking.
Like so there's that instant gratification when a post goes
up how many likes did I get and so like.
All guilty of that. Take take take that out of the
equation for a young forming brain and a a very fragile sense
(10:53):
of self identity take it out theequation as long as you possibly
can in my family we didn't do any social media until 9th grade
and I still think it's young my my son 's school this year this
year they're going back to school right now.
Phones are not allowed on campus.
Yeah same with mine. I I am I'm so happy and I asked
my my my 16 year old about it and he said because you know he
(11:19):
knows he knows I said how are your friends taking it and he
goes I think I think everyone 'skind of OK bummed but like they
know they know that this is not good they know it's not helpful.
Want to hear a funny story and and This is why I always know
like how much harder it is for the kids because.
We feel it as adults we're just more conscious of it hopefully
like the mornings you wake up and the first thing you do is
(11:41):
start scrolling and the next youknow 45 minutes has gone before
you start your day that morning that day is going to start a lot
less cheery and bright and not then the day you immediately get
up you get active you do something productive and you get
into your day like there is no question in my mind that I know
the difference of how I start myday and yet sometimes I fall
(12:03):
victim myself of. It's easier to lay in bed and
scroll we went to Christian McCaffrey 's wedding no cell
phones allowed they took your cell phone and put it in a
locked bag we go and sit so it'sall adults say there's 200
people beautiful church and we're waiting for the ceremony
none of us have our phones so we're sitting around and you can
(12:25):
sense over time. No one knows what to do with
themselves. These.
Are adults these are adults fromall over the country all over
the world high? Performing high.
Performing adults and we're sitting there with some of our
closest friends people we haven't seen in a long time and
it's almost like you're like itching like normally I'd pull
(12:46):
out my phone and check Twitter or I'd pull out and play Candy
Crush or send a text you just you're so programmed that when
there's nothing to do there's something now to do.
So we're sitting there in like 20 minutes pass 30 minutes we're
waiting for the ceremony the next thing you know the doors
open and like they start yeah escorting in the grandmas and
some of the extended family and everyone 's like standing hoot
(13:09):
like everyone was so desperate for stimulation that we were
just finding it the next morningthe breakfast recap that like
you do after fun nights with your buddies that night not one
person had their phone not one person took a picture not one
person took a selfie. Not one person checked their
voicemail checked their texts checked their emails until that
(13:31):
night when you got back to your room we had so much fun living
in the moment and like my wife and I came home we were like the
fact that we don't have the discipline to be like think of
the night we had the fact that we don't do that more often and
we know we should is kind of if we can't do it how do we expect
(13:54):
the kids to do it. It you're right on the money.
They are we are they certainly are well outgunned in this in
this battle so delay as long as you possibly can and here's I'll
tell you a scenario that we had so there's a group of parents
that we're all friends with and when our kids were in I think it
was like 4th grade everyone was having a conversation about what
(14:15):
to do with social media and it was like I don't know 6 families
that all agreed you know what we're going to wait until 16:00
we're going to wait until 16:00 for social media.
And that is still like I think it's probably OK at the 16 but
to your point could wait till 25and the kids start you know
(14:36):
around 14 my son comes home and goes dad all of my friends have
social media so all the parents broke their promises and so this
is going to sound like the Angelin me my wife and I waited till
16 and he still doesn't have Instagram Twitter doesn't have
Facebook. Because he doesn't want it.
No he wants them. You just don't let them.
Yeah and and so the thing that Iwant to protect against is the
(15:01):
quick hit for dopamine you know what dopamine is right it's
cocaine basically so when you take cocaine you get dopamine
flooded through your system whenyou're flipping and you get a
new stimulating idea you're getting a hit of dopamine I
think everyone knows that game by now I don't want cocaine on
my kids brain and so this is a small kind of rats dose amount
of cocaine throughout the day. I don't want any part of that
(15:24):
for him so and I know it's not cool and then you know the
argument is like well that's thesocial world and da da da come
on like you can figure it out I I'm I'm positive that we can
figure this out so he still doesn't have he has Snapchat but
he doesn't have the other stuff.Our kids don't have Snapchat we
haven't given on Snapchat. There you go yeah cool I love
(15:45):
the I love it. During our discussion with UCLA
head men 's basketball coach Mick Cronin he gave us insight
on how social media is impactingplayers today.
It's harder to keep your playersin the right mental state now
because they all have cell phones and everybody wants to
know why they didn't shoot more you know very few.
(16:08):
Players have parents that are sending them or friends that are
text messaging them why why didn't you rebound better you
didn't get back on defense why'dyou take a bad shot you know so
keeping it but in defensive players and this is where social
media to me has been really hardreally hard and where I think
it's been toughest on society criticism of young kids OK like
(16:31):
I've literally had some players.On really good teams that are
doing exactly what I thought they could do they're trying
they care about their team they're playing their role
they're being a star in their role and I can see they're like
the the emotional effects like something 's not right and I can
see it you know so you get it sowe always try to have my
(16:52):
assistants I'd break them with you you know make sure you're
talking to him him him you know because the kids will be maybe
more forthcoming comfortable with my staff than with me.
When we all have you know the big Staffs now so not as much as
footballs get 37 guys in collegebut on the staff so I would say
mental state is so important yougot to communicate with your
(17:13):
guys but you got got to be at the high level whatever UCLA but
even it's crazy like they have blogs now and stuff talking
about your local high school? You know ripping that coach
ripping kids how'd we lose I went to LaSalle high school in
Cincinnati like it's when I my brother told me that I couldn't
believe it that they had that stuff so that's really hard
(17:37):
because I tell my guys don't read that stuff but that's
literally like telling them not to eat because for a kid that's
grown up. You have to realize it was like
I had to train like I don't knowwhat year it was but at some
point Darren explained this to that this was a factor and a kid
was going through this and I waslike what do you mean like who
(17:58):
reads that stuff like I I would never waste but I tell my dad to
quit reading that stuff if we win I'm a good coach if we lose
I stink let's just be honest andif we don't win by enough I
probably stink too so I why eventurn it on but kids.
That's who they are that's what they it's just they're that's
that's the they've grown up in that world it's really important
(18:18):
though I've like at my place in sports when you're at a very
high profile situation is to make sure you understand like
that like so like I'm thinking about strategy during the season
and you know my own team dynamics and but the individual.
OK does he feel like he's letting his family down because
(18:41):
he's not playing well enough to get drafted financial aspect
does he and is he publicly is doesn't is being scrutinized
meanwhile you know he's a talented young freshman I think
he's doing fine like I knew he was going to struggle he's a
freshman freshman shoot tend to shoot a little bit lower
percentage and make some more mistakes.
(19:02):
You know and it's tougher at UCLA because we've had some of
the best freshmen ever so you know they the expectation is way
out of whack for some high ratedfreshmen at our place so you
have to really try to help them through it like really like
that's one area I think I've become a much better coach is is
just being in tune with guys trying to help them through the
(19:23):
expectations of others and I tryto talk to them all the time
about you know you can only run your own race.
Thanks for listening let's take a moment to recap the key
takeaways from this episode doctor Gervais and I discussed
the dangers of social media at ayoung age and stressed the
importance of building one 's internal self instead of others
(19:43):
determining who you are via social media additionally by
over utilizing and spending too much time on social media we are
reducing our attention spans andD training deep focus doctor
Gervais says the best thing we can do for our young athletes is
delay their exposure to social media as much as possible.
If we really need our young athletes to use social media to
(20:04):
better their chances in recruiting, it should be used as
a broadcast channel, run and monitored by the parent.
Our overall message today is delaying use of social media as
long as possible and understanding that athletes hear
and see every bit of criticism online about them, which can
take a big toll on their mental state.
Thanks as always for listening and we'll catch you next time
(20:25):
here on You Think. And Now another word from our
friends at Max U Alex, give us alittle bit of your back story,
your journey, how you founded the company and and more
importantly, really, why did yousee feel like there was such a
place in the market for for thisservice?
So I actually started my career as a college football coach,
went and coached at A Division One university, worked for a
couple NFL teams and burnt out by self coaching.
(20:48):
You know, Greg, as you know, it's a grind like the the NFL
season is tough. Coaches have a pretty intensive
lifestyle. And what I found that I loved
while I was doing that work was really spending time with
players, addressing the things that they were thinking about
off the field. So when I was in college, it was
things like what major should I pick or how do I navigate my
career after football? And I wanted to find an
opportunity where I could do a little bit more of that work.
(21:10):
So I actually ended up going back to school and getting my
PhD in counselling psychology. And so myself and a team of
other performance psychologists got together and started to
think about how do we take what we do at the highest levels of
sport and bring that earlier to an infrastructure and ecosystem
that doesn't otherwise have access to people like me.
And we thought use what would bea great opportunity.
We're hoping that we can teach these skills to young athletes
(21:32):
through one-on-one coaching services and give them an
opportunity to become their bestwhen it matters most, at school,
in sports, and ultimately for their life.
Alex, I can't thank you enough. This conversation needs to be
had. We need to have more
conversations around this. I look forward to connecting
with you. Thanks for joining us here on
You Think. Thanks for having me, Greg, it
was a pleasure. Here you think we want to bring
value to you, the parents, coaches and the athletes
(21:54):
listening in everything that we do.
Check out Max you today and let them know that you think sent
you.
Hey everyone Greg Olson here if you're just listening you're
missing half the experience headover to the you think YouTube
channel right now for daily mustsee content that is made
specifically for parents coachesand athletes.
Now sit back and enjoy the episode in today's digital age
social media is a powerful tool in youth sports offering
(00:21):
athletes a platform to showcase their skills connect with peers
and find inspiration but with these benefits come challenges
pressure to perform comparisons and the potential for negativity
in this episode we dive into thegood the bad and the ugly of
social media use in youth sportswe'll explore how social media
(00:42):
can be used to build. The positive online presence the
importance of setting boundariesand how to navigate the darker
side of online interactions it'sa conversation every athlete
parent and coach needs to have social media is here to stay but
how we use it can make all the difference join us as we uncover
strategies to help young athletes navigate the digital
(01:04):
world with confidence integrity and a focus on what truly
matters. Something that these kids are
growing up in nowadays that maybe you and I didn't have when
we were young kids growing up like when I when I was a high
school kid starting to get recruited there was like
Rivals.com maybe ESPN.com and there was like recruiting
(01:25):
rankings that was pretty much ityou had you knew the kids in
your town and then every summer my dad would take us to a
football camp and that would be our only real exposure to kids.
Outside of our town we had no idea how good we were relative
to the rest of the country really until I went to college
that was really my first real taste nowadays.
(01:47):
I could I could Google a kids name right now at 10:00 years
old and tell you how many tournaments he's pitched in how
hard does he throw what was his batting average I could look him
up on Instagram and find every home run he's hit and every
video of every workout session he's done with his mom dad
trainer the social media world these kids grow up in and and
right now with middle school kids we're like right on the
cusp where we don't want to say no to everything.
(02:11):
And just create that that tension between parent child but
we're also going to sit here andsay yes to everything like you
can't have every Snapchat Instagram but we're not going to
give it all right I just I'm I'mso afraid of not just my kids
just kids in general because I see it happen to adults and we
all probably fall victim to it at a time but really the young
(02:32):
kids. So many people right now are
getting their identity through the impressions that they put
out on social media and then in response what they get back
right they they form how important I am how good am I
based on highlight reel culture that people are only posting
their highs they're only postingtheir successes they're not
(02:54):
posting their bad plays they're not posting the pick 6 that lost
the game they're they're not posting any of the bad so then
our kids go out there who don't have the scope of.
Of reality of the UPS and the downs and get a better feel that
life is not all rainbows and everything 's a success but they
see Oh my God all Michael Gervais has is success and he's
(03:14):
the 12 year old in California why don't I have that level of
success I don't have that it scares me with what these kids
are exposed to social media wiseand how they form their identity
and then they try to live up to where it's like dad I need an
Instagram account I'm like what.No you don't well that's how you
get people to know that's how you get your name out there they
(03:35):
said name out there for what you're in 7th grade you're in
6th grade name out there for what.
You know kids are. How should families handle?
That I see you. Rubbing your forehead it's it's
a stressful topic. I'll tell you what like it's so
clear to me and I'll I'm going to back my position up the US
(03:58):
surgeon general just announced. How dangerous social media is
for children so when we've got the highest medical professional
in the country talking about thedanger of mental health or the
danger of social media mental health that's pretty take that
as A and you and I both know it intimately that social media for
(04:21):
us with adult brains can get away from itself?
I I feel it all the time. So everything that you just
managed. Or mentioned is incredibly
powerful and overwhelming kids are outgunned delay as long as
you can and what we want to build is an internal sense of
self as opposed to an other an other ring of people determining
(04:46):
who who I am and that's what really social media is it's an
outsourcing of identity at in its worst and so delay as long
as you can. We are outgunned there's
hundreds of PhDs neuroscientistsand psychologists that are
engineering these products to hijack our brain 's thinking and
attention it reduces attention span so that we're when we're
(05:09):
flicking through we're detraining deep focus deep focus
is one of the necessary capabilities to live in the
present moment the present moment is where high performance
happens we're deconditioning anddetraining away.
From what it means to live a good life the the other piece of
that is you know what flow stateis you know what the zone is
(05:32):
defocus is the entry point into flow state so if we're
deconditioning and detraining defocus we'll never really
understand what we're capable ofthat's that's independent of the
identity piece so take the identity piece square on take
the attention piece square on and delay as long as you can.
(05:53):
This episode of you think is brought to you by Max you a
youth sports training program focused on mindset development
in young athletes instead of reading an ad to you today I
decided to sit down with Alex Auerbach someone who specializes
in mental fitness with his company momentum labs to talk
about the importance of Max you Alex thank you so much for being
(06:13):
here I'm looking forward to diving a little deeper.
Into your journey and just this incredibly important area of
mental health and and mental acuity and awareness for for
young athletes a group that we've we've talked with that you
think Max you I know that's a group they have some really cool
kind of evaluation messages and how they can kind of help kids
work through their identity and their mental health and talk a
(06:35):
little bit about your your work with them and what you've done
with Max you what you've seen from them what elements of their
programs have you guys really connected with.
Yeah I love what Max U is doing I think they are providing a
really simple but effective way to help young athletes and
parents understand the personality dimensions behind
their young athletes and then develop skills related to
(06:57):
improve whatever area seems likea limitation or something they
just want to get better at rightand so the Max U tool is based
on the big 5 personality assessment which is you know a
common framework for understanding personality it's
things like openness conscientiousness extroversion
agreeableness. And what people might call
neuroticism but is really like your tendency to be a little bit
(07:18):
more anxious or very deliberate and thoughtful right and what
they've done is help young athletes understand how their
personality plays out in their life context by giving them an
animal that they relate to and it's becomes a simple framework
to grasp who you are what makes you special and what strengths
that you have and I think that strengths based focus is really
(07:38):
powerful and so we use it the same way I would use any
personality assessment with a pro athlete.
Honestly or any athlete I work with right is I want to
understand you as a person and personality is just an enduring
pattern of behavior right so it's it's not totally fixed but
it's also not the easiest thing to change and so if we can
understand who you are what motivates you what makes you
(07:59):
tick we can get a lot more out of a one-on-one coaching
experience and I think that's what makes Max you so powerful
is whether you're a sports coachor a mindset coach like me
having this data allows you to best understand OK what could I
do with this athlete to get the most.
Out of them and then they've gota platform that allows you to
teach athletes related skills towhatever element of their
(08:20):
personality needs some development or is already a
strength that you want to enhance right so they can teach
things like how to practice mindfulness or learn a little
bit more about self-awareness orunderstand your strengths and
how you leverage them in sports or school I think those
characteristics are really really powerful and allow you to
get the most out of the athletesyou're working with and like I
said at the pro level I don't know if you guys did this in
Carolina I know one thing we didin Toronto was try to understand
(08:43):
the players that we had. And then how do we work with
them individually and you're talking about this with the team
you coach now right every kid isa bit different and you can't
just take a one-size-fits-all and Max U allows you to sort of
get that tailored feedback and treat each kid the way that's
going to resonate most for them and then give them the tools
they need to develop. So true I mean until you
identify the specific individualand find the best way to connect
(09:06):
with them it's hard to be a goodcoach it's hard to because you
know you're not going to earn their trust they're going to put
up their their walls you're not going to really connect with
them at a level that just because it might not be the
level that you as the coach might function at that doesn't
matter what matters is identifying the individual the
athlete from my my experience with Max you just going through
some of the assessment stuff andthe kids getting their animals
(09:29):
and whatnot. You you take a look at him and
all of a sudden there's like this raise in self-awareness and
going Oh my God like I never thought about that but that does
really describe me better than maybe I could have described
myself and then you know the practical tools and the follow
up after that I think is super cool here you think we want to
bring value to you the parents coaches and the athletes
(09:50):
listening in everything that we do check out Max you today and
let them know that you think sent you now back to the
episode. So what do you say to the parent
that says but Michael I live in a small town I got a really
talented 16 year old kid how he's good enough to play in
college he goes to a small school they don't get a lot of
college recruiters if I don't promote on social media how is
(10:12):
anybody going to find him. Yeah that's a great scenario.
Again those are the arguments those are that's the counter
arguments that I get from peoplewhen I say.
Do you really need all this and they say well yeah because you
get offers you get college coaches follow you recruiters?
No problem I use it as a broadcast system the adult takes
(10:32):
over and runs that broadcast system for the kid it does not
need to be the kid posting and checking.
Like so there's that instant gratification when a post goes
up how many likes did I get and so like.
All guilty of that. Take take take that out of the
equation for a young forming brain and a a very fragile sense
(10:53):
of self identity take it out theequation as long as you possibly
can in my family we didn't do any social media until 9th grade
and I still think it's young my my son 's school this year this
year they're going back to school right now.
Phones are not allowed on campus.
Yeah same with mine. I I am I'm so happy and I asked
my my my 16 year old about it and he said because you know he
(11:19):
knows he knows I said how are your friends taking it and he
goes I think I think everyone 'skind of OK bummed but like they
know they know that this is not good they know it's not helpful.
Want to hear a funny story and and This is why I always know
like how much harder it is for the kids because.
We feel it as adults we're just more conscious of it hopefully
like the mornings you wake up and the first thing you do is
(11:41):
start scrolling and the next youknow 45 minutes has gone before
you start your day that morning that day is going to start a lot
less cheery and bright and not then the day you immediately get
up you get active you do something productive and you get
into your day like there is no question in my mind that I know
the difference of how I start myday and yet sometimes I fall
(12:03):
victim myself of. It's easier to lay in bed and
scroll we went to Christian McCaffrey 's wedding no cell
phones allowed they took your cell phone and put it in a
locked bag we go and sit so it'sall adults say there's 200
people beautiful church and we're waiting for the ceremony
none of us have our phones so we're sitting around and you can
(12:25):
sense over time. No one knows what to do with
themselves. These.
Are adults these are adults fromall over the country all over
the world high? Performing high.
Performing adults and we're sitting there with some of our
closest friends people we haven't seen in a long time and
it's almost like you're like itching like normally I'd pull
(12:46):
out my phone and check Twitter or I'd pull out and play Candy
Crush or send a text you just you're so programmed that when
there's nothing to do there's something now to do.
So we're sitting there in like 20 minutes pass 30 minutes we're
waiting for the ceremony the next thing you know the doors
open and like they start yeah escorting in the grandmas and
some of the extended family and everyone 's like standing hoot
(13:09):
like everyone was so desperate for stimulation that we were
just finding it the next morningthe breakfast recap that like
you do after fun nights with your buddies that night not one
person had their phone not one person took a picture not one
person took a selfie. Not one person checked their
voicemail checked their texts checked their emails until that
(13:31):
night when you got back to your room we had so much fun living
in the moment and like my wife and I came home we were like the
fact that we don't have the discipline to be like think of
the night we had the fact that we don't do that more often and
we know we should is kind of if we can't do it how do we expect
(13:54):
the kids to do it. It you're right on the money.
They are we are they certainly are well outgunned in this in
this battle so delay as long as you possibly can and here's I'll
tell you a scenario that we had so there's a group of parents
that we're all friends with and when our kids were in I think it
was like 4th grade everyone was having a conversation about what
(14:15):
to do with social media and it was like I don't know 6 families
that all agreed you know what we're going to wait until 16:00
we're going to wait until 16:00 for social media.
And that is still like I think it's probably OK at the 16 but
to your point could wait till 25and the kids start you know
(14:36):
around 14 my son comes home and goes dad all of my friends have
social media so all the parents broke their promises and so this
is going to sound like the Angelin me my wife and I waited till
16 and he still doesn't have Instagram Twitter doesn't have
Facebook. Because he doesn't want it.
No he wants them. You just don't let them.
Yeah and and so the thing that Iwant to protect against is the
(15:01):
quick hit for dopamine you know what dopamine is right it's
cocaine basically so when you take cocaine you get dopamine
flooded through your system whenyou're flipping and you get a
new stimulating idea you're getting a hit of dopamine I
think everyone knows that game by now I don't want cocaine on
my kids brain and so this is a small kind of rats dose amount
of cocaine throughout the day. I don't want any part of that
(15:24):
for him so and I know it's not cool and then you know the
argument is like well that's thesocial world and da da da come
on like you can figure it out I I'm I'm positive that we can
figure this out so he still doesn't have he has Snapchat but
he doesn't have the other stuff.Our kids don't have Snapchat we
haven't given on Snapchat. There you go yeah cool I love
(15:45):
the I love it. During our discussion with UCLA
head men 's basketball coach Mick Cronin he gave us insight
on how social media is impactingplayers today.
It's harder to keep your playersin the right mental state now
because they all have cell phones and everybody wants to
know why they didn't shoot more you know very few.
(16:08):
Players have parents that are sending them or friends that are
text messaging them why why didn't you rebound better you
didn't get back on defense why'dyou take a bad shot you know so
keeping it but in defensive players and this is where social
media to me has been really hardreally hard and where I think
it's been toughest on society criticism of young kids OK like
(16:31):
I've literally had some players.On really good teams that are
doing exactly what I thought they could do they're trying
they care about their team they're playing their role
they're being a star in their role and I can see they're like
the the emotional effects like something 's not right and I can
see it you know so you get it sowe always try to have my
(16:52):
assistants I'd break them with you you know make sure you're
talking to him him him you know because the kids will be maybe
more forthcoming comfortable with my staff than with me.
When we all have you know the big Staffs now so not as much as
footballs get 37 guys in collegebut on the staff so I would say
mental state is so important yougot to communicate with your
(17:13):
guys but you got got to be at the high level whatever UCLA but
even it's crazy like they have blogs now and stuff talking
about your local high school? You know ripping that coach
ripping kids how'd we lose I went to LaSalle high school in
Cincinnati like it's when I my brother told me that I couldn't
believe it that they had that stuff so that's really hard
(17:37):
because I tell my guys don't read that stuff but that's
literally like telling them not to eat because for a kid that's
grown up. You have to realize it was like
I had to train like I don't knowwhat year it was but at some
point Darren explained this to that this was a factor and a kid
was going through this and I waslike what do you mean like who
(17:58):
reads that stuff like I I would never waste but I tell my dad to
quit reading that stuff if we win I'm a good coach if we lose
I stink let's just be honest andif we don't win by enough I
probably stink too so I why eventurn it on but kids.
That's who they are that's what they it's just they're that's
that's the they've grown up in that world it's really important
(18:18):
though I've like at my place in sports when you're at a very
high profile situation is to make sure you understand like
that like so like I'm thinking about strategy during the season
and you know my own team dynamics and but the individual.
OK does he feel like he's letting his family down because
(18:41):
he's not playing well enough to get drafted financial aspect
does he and is he publicly is doesn't is being scrutinized
meanwhile you know he's a talented young freshman I think
he's doing fine like I knew he was going to struggle he's a
freshman freshman shoot tend to shoot a little bit lower
percentage and make some more mistakes.
(19:02):
You know and it's tougher at UCLA because we've had some of
the best freshmen ever so you know they the expectation is way
out of whack for some high ratedfreshmen at our place so you
have to really try to help them through it like really like
that's one area I think I've become a much better coach is is
just being in tune with guys trying to help them through the
(19:23):
expectations of others and I tryto talk to them all the time
about you know you can only run your own race.
Thanks for listening let's take a moment to recap the key
takeaways from this episode doctor Gervais and I discussed
the dangers of social media at ayoung age and stressed the
importance of building one 's internal self instead of others
(19:43):
determining who you are via social media additionally by
over utilizing and spending too much time on social media we are
reducing our attention spans andD training deep focus doctor
Gervais says the best thing we can do for our young athletes is
delay their exposure to social media as much as possible.
If we really need our young athletes to use social media to
(20:04):
better their chances in recruiting, it should be used as
a broadcast channel, run and monitored by the parent.
Our overall message today is delaying use of social media as
long as possible and understanding that athletes hear
and see every bit of criticism online about them, which can
take a big toll on their mental state.
Thanks as always for listening and we'll catch you next time
(20:25):
here on You Think. And Now another word from our
friends at Max U Alex, give us alittle bit of your back story,
your journey, how you founded the company and and more
importantly, really, why did yousee feel like there was such a
place in the market for for thisservice?
So I actually started my career as a college football coach,
went and coached at A Division One university, worked for a
couple NFL teams and burnt out by self coaching.
(20:48):
You know, Greg, as you know, it's a grind like the the NFL
season is tough. Coaches have a pretty intensive
lifestyle. And what I found that I loved
while I was doing that work was really spending time with
players, addressing the things that they were thinking about
off the field. So when I was in college, it was
things like what major should I pick or how do I navigate my
career after football? And I wanted to find an
opportunity where I could do a little bit more of that work.
(21:10):
So I actually ended up going back to school and getting my
PhD in counselling psychology. And so myself and a team of
other performance psychologists got together and started to
think about how do we take what we do at the highest levels of
sport and bring that earlier to an infrastructure and ecosystem
that doesn't otherwise have access to people like me.
And we thought use what would bea great opportunity.
We're hoping that we can teach these skills to young athletes
(21:32):
through one-on-one coaching services and give them an
opportunity to become their bestwhen it matters most, at school,
in sports, and ultimately for their life.
Alex, I can't thank you enough. This conversation needs to be
had. We need to have more
conversations around this. I look forward to connecting
with you. Thanks for joining us here on
You Think. Thanks for having me, Greg, it
was a pleasure. Here you think we want to bring
value to you, the parents, coaches and the athletes
(21:54):
listening in everything that we do.
Check out Max you today and let them know that you think sent
you.
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