07-26-24 Interview - Sultan of Slowjamastan on creating a Micro Nation

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
And if you have ever been drinkingwith your friends and said, you know,
if I ran this country and thoughtI should do that, my next
guest, I don't know if hewas drinking with his friends when he came
up with the idea, but hehas done just that. He has created
the micro nation of slow jama Stan. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the
Sultan of Slow jama Stan himself.Sultan. Welcome to the show. Mandy,

(00:22):
Welcome to the show for yourself.It's good to have you here today.
We are getting ready for the sevenhour Sultan Special. Shall we begin
the seven hour Sultan Special? Ithought I got you for the longer interview.
Well, I can promise seven hoursminimum and we'll take it from there
as long as the snacks will keepon coming. Yes, it's good to

(00:42):
be here today. I'm excited tobe on the show. A big fan.
So let's get started. Let's getstarted with tell me a little bit
about how you decided to form yourown nation, and tell us what a
micro nation actually is. We'll startat the beginning. Well, absolutely humble
beginnings came from a frustration from meand many other people hire in the United

(01:07):
States. Hate is a strong word, but I'll use it. I hate
crocs, the shoes, the rubbershoes with the holes. Are you familiar
on Mandy with the crow? Iactually am, and I actually wrote down
the question why do you hate crocs? Because I mean, if you ever
had them on your feet? Well, have you seen them? That's the
question. You just avert your eyes. They're extremely comfortable. They're like they're

(01:29):
like sliding your feet into marshmallows.Sultan, Well, I can tell this
conversation isn't going to go well fromthe start, Mandy. But look,
we can talk another time about yourproblem. We do have people who can
help you, and so I understandstanding by Mandy. We're here to help
people like you. But look,we tried to stop the awful spread of

(01:52):
these crocs throughout America. We contactedlocal and regional, even federal law enforcement,
in politicians. Unfortunately, they turneda blind eye to the problem.
So look, we had two choices, right, we could do a violent
uprising to stop the crocs, butthe Sultan is a peace loving man.
So instead we said, look,we are simply going to carve out our

(02:13):
own country where we can prohibit crocs. Every wedding and even possession of crocs
strictly illegal. It is the foundationof why slau Janastan was founded. And
we have a bunch of of offun loving crockeating people all together for one
uh, for one idea, andit's going extremely well. But we'll have

(02:34):
to talk later about this opinion ofyours about the crocs. Now, when
California found out that you had justset up a micro nation east of San
Diego, was there a kerfuffle?Was there any did they push back at
all? Did you have to engagein any kind of you know, armed
revolution to defend your territory. Well, of course that that is a good
question. I'll tell you. Forthe most part, the people in California

(02:58):
have become allies friendly. In fact, they have visited us. They like
to take selfies in front of thebig sign that says Sloyamistan. We are
located about ninety minutes south of PalmSprings, California, right off of a
state highway. So for the mostpart it's been it's been fun. We
have little dance parties in slowy umastanda few times a year when the weather

(03:20):
permits, there was a small asyou said, Kerfoffel a little international incident
months ago, the Sultan received aparking ticket in my diplomatic vehicle. So
we did take that all the wayup to the traffic court in San Diego.
It didn't go so well. Soit's it's little things like that.
But look, it's it's it's dayby day. Every day is a new

(03:42):
challenge, and every day we bringmore people in. So you take the
good, you take the bad,you take the both in there you have
slowy understand. Oh, I thoughtyou were going to say the facts of
life I'm sorry, I was goingin a different direction there. So micro
nations, let's let's have a littlechit chat about that for a second,
because apparently you guys are not theonly one. They're They're all over the
place. How does one create amicronation? Is there paperwork? What do

(04:05):
you have to do there? Doyou just plan a flag and just be
like this is it? Well?Of course, you know, I don't
like the term necessarily micronation for Soyamistanbecause we think we are grand, We
think we are a pretty big deal. We don't like to be attached to
the micro But yes, micronation isusually small country started by an individual.

(04:29):
That are over four hundred micronations allacross the world, including Australia and Asia,
and we have one in Nevada calledMolossia. There is one off the
coast of UK which is a smallplatform in the sea called Sea Landy.
So micronations come in many different forms, but basically it's it's anyone who declares

(04:50):
a certain piece of land their owncountry. Interestingly enough, if you want
to get political and geographical, theMonth david A Convention, specifically Article three
says that a country does not haveto be recognized by another country to be
a country. So of course thebiggest question people say, well is slow

(05:10):
jama Stan recognized? But according tothe Montevideo Convention, you need land,
you need a border, you needpeople, and you need a government,
and you do not need recognition fromanybody else to be a country. So
basically, like I could declare theKowa Studio of Micronation and that's all I
needed to do. And then howdo you get I understand now, and

(05:34):
this is serious. You've just comefrom a NATO meeting, so they are
taking you seriously, Sultan, You'vegone beyond what all these other I don't
recall seeing Sea Land being invited tocome to the NATO meeting. How did
that come about? Well, yes, I'll tell you. We are the
very first micronation in the universe togo to NATO. I can't exactly tell

(05:56):
you how we got in. Thatis a slow Understani secret intelligence, classified
information. But the point is wemade it in. We might have only
lasted fourteen minutes before they politely askus to leave, but we did make
it in in all of our uniforms, and I guess I wore my big
green Saltan uniform. For those listeningat home, don't. I don't condone

(06:18):
his practices, but Colonel Kadaffi hisfashion sense was impeccable, so he does
inspire me. So if you canpicture a Kadafi uniform but in the color
of the loyerness and flag, it'sgreen and bright and lots of metals.
Anyway, so we got to NATOthe first day plain clothes to kind of
suss out the situation. But onthe last dy of NATO we said we're

(06:38):
going to go in full uniform.We made it in. Let me tell
you, Mandy, the media swarmedus. They were very excited to see
a diplomat. The lights and cameraswere on. We were being interviewed by
the Turkish media and then North Macedoniaand Georgia and Armenia. They were very
excited because these press people, asyou are, the journalists, they're relegated
to a press room, so theyare apart from all the diplomats. All

(07:00):
of a sudden, the diplomat,like me, he walks in. Of
course, it was a it wasa huge scene, a positive one,
lots of laughs and smiles and hugs. But about fourteen minutes in a gentleman
from NATO came by and basically says, please follow me, and he walked
us straight out the door. Andthat well, you know what though,
that that's that's the beginning of thediplomacy. I was going to ask you

(07:21):
who had the best uniform. I'mguessing you have giant epaulets as well,
you know, because Kadafi always hadthe big epaulets on the shoulder. You
got those with the dangly things thatcome around the outside of the shoulder.
I'll tell you absolutely. There isa lot of metal and fringe and and
and rick rack and the metals,the little cords all of all of the

(07:45):
things, the hat, the shoes, the pants. I'll tell you it's
quite a production to get dressed,but I do it for the people.
I think. I think every leaderof a country should look presentable when he
goes out for a night on thetown or even earnning errands on Sunday when
I go into America to go toTJ. Max. To bring things back
to Sloyamistan. We're having a short, a small infrastructure problem in Sloyamastan,

(08:07):
so unfortunately it's more imports than exports. But yes, I think I think
every leader should should look good whenhe's out on the town. So I'm
guessing your trade imbalance is what onehundred percent on that one, because every
it appears everything is important. Currently, well, we are working on it.
We do export sand, so we'reworking on the sand exports as well,

(08:31):
smiles saying occasional dad joke. Werely on entertainment, of course,
the slow jams, the music ofslow Jamastan, so we're working on it.
It's you know, they say Romewas not built in the day.
How can you You have a lotof citizens who don't live there, so
how could one become a citizen ofSlow Jamastan. And is that the passport
you have in your hand right now? Yeah, So for those listening at

(08:54):
home, we are doing a nicezoom. So I'm holding up the passport
of Slowyamistan. It's absolutely beautiful.Here's the great thing. Citizenship is absolutely
free for Sloyamistan and Mandy. Thisis pretty incredible, if I may say
so. Slow understand has more citizensthan two fully recognized Dan nations. So
right now we have over nineteen thousandregistered citizens. Nobody actually lives in Sloyamistan

(09:18):
except for me. The plumbing andthe sewer electricity. It's a work in
progress. Currently only three cable channels, so it's a rough life. I
don't want to subject it to everybody. It's not for everybody yet, but
the waiting list to actually live inSloyamistan is pretty large. Well, it
looks like paradise, Sultan. Imean it really, it's it's desert paradise,

(09:41):
but paradise nonetheless, Sultan of SlowJamastan. I can't tell you how
much I've enjoyed this. And youknow what I've decided, I'm rethinking my
position because a man of your stature, if you say, crocs are bad.
It must be true. So Iam. I am immediately going to
go home and throw out my crocflops that I have because I do you
have some croc flops because obviously untilthis point I've just been misguided. And

(10:05):
I feel so much better about things, and I will I'm on the no
Kroc, the no Croc pledge fromhere on out. Thank you, sir
for your kindness today. You're ingood company. How much time on the
clock do we have by the wornwell about like one minute? So what
do else you have for me?Okay? So I want to quickly tell
you the closer and you know,the fun and the jokes and the crocs

(10:26):
aside the rule about string cheese youhave to peel it. You can chump
it. But that is a seriousundertone in slow Yamastan, and that is
I want to share with your listeners. You know, you wake up every
day, the moment you open yourphone, you see people you love,
your neighbors, your friends. Theyare fighting, they are bickering. We
have never been any more divisive,polarizing society ever. And everybody has too

(10:46):
many labels, not enough people arejust saying we are all Americans. So
in Sloyamistan. We are all sloyamistanding, So when you cross the border,
we don't care religion, color,political affiliation. As long as you don't
like clock. It's long as youdon't like crooks. You're one of us,
and we wave the Syamastani flag proud. And I hope America and part
of the other world who are havingsome divisiveness can take a cue from Sloyamastan

(11:09):
and we can all come together tobe one, because that is what's missing
today, is Saltan. You're absolutelyright, and this is why you are
the leader of leaders of all menat slow Jamastan. Thank you so much
for your time today, sir.It's been a pleasure, and I'm sure
that as you grow and become moreinfluential and get invited to stay at NATO

(11:30):
the last day, we will betalking more about you and your mission in
the near future. Thanks for yourtime today. Thank you,