November 11, 2025 • 15 mins
RABBI LEBAN IS ON TO TALK CLEAN SPEECH COLORADO And this annual program that runs for the month of December simply sends a two minute reminder to your email every morning inspiring you to be a better version of yourself. It's also a great way to learn more about Judaism, as things are explained through the Jewish lens. It's a wonderful program and gives me a mental boost every morning. You can still sign up for the rest of the month here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just told Rabbi Levan on November first, when I
opened up my email box and there was my email
from Clean Speech Colorado reminding me that November is the
month where they are going to help me be the
best version of myself. I felt grateful, and not that
I didn't last year or the year before or the
year before that. When you know, I but this year,
we've had a very very tough year when it comes
(00:21):
to political violence, when it comes to the ratcheting up
of the sort of angry violent talk that is I
think incredibly dangerous to us culturally, and I'm very worried
about us. We'll have that conversation at another time, but
here comes Clean Speech Colorado to remind you that there
is so much that is within your control, even as
(00:42):
there is so much that is not in your control.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And Rabbi, every year, when do we start at the beginning?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Because there are people listening right now, I've never heard
of Clean Speech Colorado.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Thank you, welcome, thank you for having me back on
the show. It's my seventh Clean Speech Colorado November.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And this was a program that we start.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It is an education and awareness month about mindful speech
based on classic timeless Jewish values of how we can
communicate effectively and well and every November for these now
is our seventh year.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I can't believe myself.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
We're trying to help to bring just bite size, digestible
lessons that are immediately applicable in terms of enabling us
to speak in a way that sits, helps us to
relate better to each other. We cause less harm in
the world and our relationships, and we're more effective at
communicating things that are important to us and communicating effectively
(01:34):
in the world, which is this year's campaign is about
peace pausful speech. And the Hebrew word for that is shalom,
probably one of the best known words of Hebrew that
is known around the world. And it's a it's like
you said, it's so timely because we are where it's
a world with it's just wrought with strife and conflict,
(01:55):
and and I'm talking about fixing the international con in
flicks around the globe. I'm talking about developing a shalomn personality,
which means being a person who interacts with others in
a way that's successful, that's peaceful, that makes them comfortable.
That is on which we really we're communicating well, we're
seeing each other. You're present, and you can say, and
(02:19):
you can speak, and you can be heard, and you
can connect well and meaningfully and successfully with the people
that you talk to on it, whether it's at work
or as at home or as your friend.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I have a little bit of a theory here after
my first eleven days of clean speech Colorado, and that is,
you know, I have met people in my life, and
I grew up in the Deep South, the Bible Belt.
I don't think I knew a Jewish person growing up,
and I'm not kidding, but people that I think on
the Christian side have that Shalom personality are the people
(02:50):
that you meet that after you have an interaction with them,
you feel better. You walk away a little bit lighter,
maybe you walk away in a better mood than you
then you walked into the room with. And you don't
can't necessarily put your finger on it.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And I've always.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Said, when I meet those people, because generally those are
the people that are the most passionate about their evangelism
and their Christianity, I say they're filled with the spirit
of the Lord. In the Jewish tradition, they're filled with Shalom.
It's kind of the same thing, but it really, to
me so far has come down to be the person
that leaves the other person in a better space rather
(03:26):
than a worse space.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
There are so many skills and techniques that a person
can't adopt if this is not automatic, needs your natural
way that one reacts and one interacts. We're trying to
teach real practical skills. I think in today's world, whether
we're talking about kids who went through COVID as kids,
(03:48):
or they're glued to their social media and they're they're
sadly losing some of the natural skills of interacting well
in person that we would you know, we would have
expected them to gain and prior generations or perhaps that
we we were in a cancel culture spirit and this
is a society that's just far too quick to just
(04:09):
cut off conversation rather than having successful conversations for whatever reason.
These are skills and techniques of speaking well that we
we need to relearn, and there are lots of them,
and they're little things too. Just as an example, today
we're where we're we have we're reading lessons and we're
and every day we've got a two minute video for
you and you can digest it. You get in an email,
(04:31):
you can watch the video, you can read the read
the email takes two three minutes. And and we're we're
trying to enable people to develop a show and personality
and even to maintain it when you're in a difficult conversation,
because that's you know, that's when the chips are down.
As I say, it's it's easy to speak peacefully with
you know that your beloved and you all got a
(04:52):
good night's sleep and we were all well fed, and
you know we're just talking.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, that's easy.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
But much more challenging is when you want to talk
about politics. So you want to talk about something you
know that you care about, and you know that the
person that you're speaking with disagrees with you, and you're
ready to have a conversation. Well, this could go really badly,
and far too often what happens is we don't have
those conversations at all because we're unwilling to engage because
we know it's going to go badly. We're not going
(05:20):
to be able to have this conversation well, and then
we're not expressing ourselves and that's also drug.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well, today's lesson was actually on transference. And this is
what I call the speeding cargoes pass to you driving
like a maniac, and you have a couple options. You
can honk, you can flip them off, you can go
back and try and cut them off, or you can go,
oh my gosh, maybe someone in their family just had
a heart attack and they're trying to get to the hospital.
Maybe they just lost their job and having a terrible
day and they're taking it out on other drivers.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I mean, that's kind of the same thing.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
But let me ask you, when you're developing your own
Shalom personality, I think this is where people get caught
up because if I wait long enough, the text line
will have variations of what I'm about to say. I'm
trying to have a Shalom personality, Rabbi, but I'm dealing
with people who have never understood the word, and they
don't want to have a shaloan personality. So how do
you how do you navigate that without being a pushover?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That's exactly what we're talking about in week In Week two,
we have four week topics. The first one is is
kind of defining what a sholen personality looks like, and
then how do you take that on the road and
how do you drive? And how do you deal with
people who you otherwise think of as difficult. Sometimes we
characterize someone as difficult, we almost think of ourselves as
being sadly exempt from treating them nicer, speaking to them
(06:35):
in a nice way. We're saying, oh, well, that person
is difficult. You're never going to have a wonderful and
a graceful interaction with them, So don't even try. But
that's that's not our you know, and that's not what
we believe. We believe that you could and you can
gain skills and you can.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Deal with that.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
What are some of the skills? So you mentioned the
one from today, which is to imagine that they're you know,
you have to a lot of these men. You have
to do with empathy and they have to do with
seeing another person's reality and recognizing that they might be
going through something that you don't know anything about. They
might be speaking to you and from a place of
(07:08):
emotion that's caused by someone and something other than you.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
It's not your fault. They're not really upset with you.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Transference is about they're not really upset with you, But
boy do they sound like it, And are you going
to be able to be mindful and to have the
presence of mind in the conversation, to be able to
recognize that that may be causing this discomfor this uncomfortable
interaction is the way that they're speaking to you, which
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
And if I can maintain that.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Presence of mind and I can practice these skills and
I can become more aware, then I don't get flustered,
I don't have to respond in kind, I can keep
my calm, I cannot get thrown, I cannot take it personally,
and I can respond in a way that afterwards I'll
be proud of, I'll feel good, and you know what,
they'll probably calm down too. Actually, if I'm able to
(07:55):
maintain my own calm, and this is something that's not
easy for most of us, and it takes and it
takes awareness. And so that's why we have these campaign,
which is thirty lessons in a row every day, two
minutes a day. And if you're thinking about these things
throughout your day. Our experience in our data shows that
people can really develop skills and speak differently and they
(08:16):
can change.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Well, it's really in my mind about being in control
of your own humanity right, being in control of how
you react to people. And one of the things that
it's both a blessing and a curse of this job
is because of the amount of vitriol that I've gotten
over the years. And I always say it, Denver's been fantastic.
I least amount of ugly hate mail that I've ever
gotten since I've been here. But it hardens you to
(08:39):
that kind of criticism, and that's a blessing to not
respond when someone says something awful, or to respond by
saying I'm not affected by what you just said in
genuine honesty, to be able to say you did not
affect me negatively. So if you want to have a conversation,
we can have a conversation, but I'm not going to
let you affect me. And it seems to me that
(08:59):
being able to maintain control of your own emotions and
maintain control of the situation, that's a very powerful tool to.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Have, super powerful. A lot of us want to influence others.
We want our opinions to be heard, and we you know,
we want to change the world. But if we're not
able to talk to people in a way that is
going to be effective, and they're not going to listen
to us because they're just we're just upset. We just
have a fight instead of having a constructive conversation. We're
not going to move the ball forward and the needle
(09:26):
forward in the way that we want to. So for sure,
these are real skills. You're a person who has to
be able to talk about real issues. You can't just
not talk. You're you're a professional.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It doesn't work as well on the radio if I
just sit here quietly. I learned that a long time ago,
no sitting here quiet ratis go down.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, no problem.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I wish allways were worried about our ratings, and I
wish we would be find ways to actually have the
conversations that we'd like to have them, and then the
skills to have them in the way that will be effected.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So which and in every lesson you sort of get
the a nugget of Judaism for life, of that way
to put it, that kind of explains the foundation of
all of these different things. What kind of response have
you gotten, because I know that there's a ton of
non Jews that are in part of clean speech Colorado, what.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Kind of response do you get on that sort of.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Little educational piece that allows those of us who didn't
grow up Jewish to have a better understanding of what
drives the faith in the first place.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Sadly, a lot of the feedback that we get, I
think it's not from the audience you describe, but a
lot of the social media response we get is ugly
right now, there is so you can't imagine how many
daily negative comments we get, which are just just hate mail,
just that gross stuff that you know you have to do.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We have to do with it too.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
But generally speaking, when when we're talking to a real
human being, they're only appreciative, right because there these are
timeless lessons. There are lessons that every one of us,
Jewish or non Jewish, can can employ and can appreciate,
and they can help us immediately interact with each other,
you know better, anyone who did want to sign up.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Doesn't cost anything to participaith. You just go to.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Cleanspeech dot com slash Colorado and you put your name
and your email in there and we'll send you two
minute lesson a day for the remainder of November.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
So this Texter, said Mandy, the Rabbi, surely realizes that
most bosses don't have a Shalon mindset. I would argue
I actually do have a boss with a Shaloon mindset.
Our our program director, Dave Tepper, is all about the zen,
giving positive feedback along with the negative feedback, like just
staying even keeled, and it's it makes going to work
(11:25):
so much nicer that if you are a boss and
you don't think you have the Shaloon mindset. These lessons
cut across everything.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Sure in the business world, there's an idea of managing
up that means that you are the supervis and you
can help your supervisor to manage you better and more effectively.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
That's a business concept.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
In a conversation concept, the concept is the same is
that when you manage you know, when you control, when
you are in charge of the way that you interact
with people, it will affect the way that they will
interact with right and with These are not just skills
for dealing with the people in your life that are easy.
These are things that will help to enable you to
(12:05):
have more effective conversations and interactions verbally or otherwise with
the people that are difficult and the people that you have.
You have no choice but to be involved with like
your boss or your neighbor.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Well.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And another aspect of this whenever someone gets married and
they post something like give me your best marriage advice,
My marriage advice is always the same, always be able
to have the hard conversations and have them with love
in your heart like that. I think so many relationships falter,
whether it's a friendship, whether it's a whether it's a relationship,
a romantic relationship, because we somehow think not having those
(12:39):
hard conversations is going to be easier, right when in
the long run it just creates far more issues. How
does this specific Shalom personality work in marriage?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
It's the most powerful thing in all of the closest
relationships that we have. So we talk about you brought
up a boss, but let's who do we really interact
with all the time? Our family, fause family and and
the closest close to big people to us. And this
is a course of training in order to become more
(13:11):
attuned to them and to be more aware of of
of the dynamics that could be causing friction or if
we do doing things well, could be you know, bring
more warmth and love in our relationships.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
And that's that's what we're really what we want.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
We we we want all our relationships to sing, and
we want a happy family and we want you know,
we want happy homes and happy relationships, and that's it's
becoming harder and harder to come by. So sad, you know,
we we we believe that the divorce rates should be
a lot lower than we're seeing and that and that
(13:45):
people should stop unfriending their family members.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Because on social media, because people vote. How do we
get to that people? How many of us? And this
is just a.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Thing, you know, we there's that family member that we
don't invite to the Thanksgiving parties, you know, or how
have we gotten there?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
So how do we come back from that?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And I realized that not every family member is going
to be your favorite person in the world. I get it,
but we somehow, I don't know when that switch flipped,
but all of a sudden, it was like people were like,
you know what, you have a toxic family member. You
should cut them out of your life. I just think
that leaves a lot of open wounds that manifest themselves
in completely different ways down the road. And I wish
(14:23):
we could get past that and get to the point
where people would seek greater understanding with their family members
instead of not seeking understanding at all because it feels
too difficult because of the close relationship. Clean Speech Colorado
is it dot.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Orgo dot com dot com.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I haven't linked on the blog today, so clean Speech
Colorado dot com. Not only can you sign up today
and start getting them in your email box, I'm guessing
tomorrow it's all automatic seeing them, you can go back
and watch the ones you missed, which I would strongly
recommend because the first week where they talk about what
a shalom personality is, it'll help you delineate how being
a kind and shalom personality is not the same as
(15:01):
being a doormat.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
In fact, this year, we have an event called Dialogues
in which we are actually we're actually curating tough conversations
right where we're gonna sit around the table where we're
taking on some of the most controversial topics that are
on all our minds, and we're gonna have it out,
but we're gonna do it effectively, in capably. Don't be
a doormat. Tell me what you think, but tell me
(15:24):
what you think in a way that enables me to
speak with you and tell you what I think, and
we could feel good about having a conversation. Nobody's mind
might be changed, or we might you know, somebody might
be influenced by by one another, but that can only
happen in a context we can speak and where we're
open to it and we're skilled and we feel like
we're we're ready to deal with the topics at hand
(15:47):
that mattered to us most.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
That's our goal.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
That is on the front page of cleanspeech dot com
for Clean Speech Colorado,
I just told Rabbi Levan on November first, when I
opened up my email box and there was my email
from Clean Speech Colorado reminding me that November is the
month where they are going to help me be the
best version of myself. I felt grateful, and not that
I didn't last year or the year before or the
year before that. When you know, I but this year,
we've had a very very tough year when it comes
(00:21):
to political violence, when it comes to the ratcheting up
of the sort of angry violent talk that is I
think incredibly dangerous to us culturally, and I'm very worried
about us. We'll have that conversation at another time, but
here comes Clean Speech Colorado to remind you that there
is so much that is within your control, even as
(00:42):
there is so much that is not in your control.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And Rabbi, every year, when do we start at the beginning?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Because there are people listening right now, I've never heard
of Clean Speech Colorado.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Thank you, welcome, thank you for having me back on
the show. It's my seventh Clean Speech Colorado November.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And this was a program that we start.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It is an education and awareness month about mindful speech
based on classic timeless Jewish values of how we can
communicate effectively and well and every November for these now
is our seventh year.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I can't believe myself.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
We're trying to help to bring just bite size, digestible
lessons that are immediately applicable in terms of enabling us
to speak in a way that sits, helps us to
relate better to each other. We cause less harm in
the world and our relationships, and we're more effective at
communicating things that are important to us and communicating effectively
(01:34):
in the world, which is this year's campaign is about
peace pausful speech. And the Hebrew word for that is shalom,
probably one of the best known words of Hebrew that
is known around the world. And it's a it's like
you said, it's so timely because we are where it's
a world with it's just wrought with strife and conflict,
(01:55):
and and I'm talking about fixing the international con in
flicks around the globe. I'm talking about developing a shalomn personality,
which means being a person who interacts with others in
a way that's successful, that's peaceful, that makes them comfortable.
That is on which we really we're communicating well, we're
seeing each other. You're present, and you can say, and
(02:19):
you can speak, and you can be heard, and you
can connect well and meaningfully and successfully with the people
that you talk to on it, whether it's at work
or as at home or as your friend.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I have a little bit of a theory here after
my first eleven days of clean speech Colorado, and that is,
you know, I have met people in my life, and
I grew up in the Deep South, the Bible Belt.
I don't think I knew a Jewish person growing up,
and I'm not kidding, but people that I think on
the Christian side have that Shalom personality are the people
(02:50):
that you meet that after you have an interaction with them,
you feel better. You walk away a little bit lighter,
maybe you walk away in a better mood than you
then you walked into the room with. And you don't
can't necessarily put your finger on it.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And I've always.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Said, when I meet those people, because generally those are
the people that are the most passionate about their evangelism
and their Christianity, I say they're filled with the spirit
of the Lord. In the Jewish tradition, they're filled with Shalom.
It's kind of the same thing, but it really, to
me so far has come down to be the person
that leaves the other person in a better space rather
(03:26):
than a worse space.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
There are so many skills and techniques that a person
can't adopt if this is not automatic, needs your natural
way that one reacts and one interacts. We're trying to
teach real practical skills. I think in today's world, whether
we're talking about kids who went through COVID as kids,
(03:48):
or they're glued to their social media and they're they're
sadly losing some of the natural skills of interacting well
in person that we would you know, we would have
expected them to gain and prior generations or perhaps that
we we were in a cancel culture spirit and this
is a society that's just far too quick to just
(04:09):
cut off conversation rather than having successful conversations for whatever reason.
These are skills and techniques of speaking well that we
we need to relearn, and there are lots of them,
and they're little things too. Just as an example, today
we're where we're we have we're reading lessons and we're
and every day we've got a two minute video for
you and you can digest it. You get in an email,
(04:31):
you can watch the video, you can read the read
the email takes two three minutes. And and we're we're
trying to enable people to develop a show and personality
and even to maintain it when you're in a difficult conversation,
because that's you know, that's when the chips are down.
As I say, it's it's easy to speak peacefully with
you know that your beloved and you all got a
(04:52):
good night's sleep and we were all well fed, and
you know we're just talking.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, that's easy.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
But much more challenging is when you want to talk
about politics. So you want to talk about something you
know that you care about, and you know that the
person that you're speaking with disagrees with you, and you're
ready to have a conversation. Well, this could go really badly,
and far too often what happens is we don't have
those conversations at all because we're unwilling to engage because
we know it's going to go badly. We're not going
(05:20):
to be able to have this conversation well, and then
we're not expressing ourselves and that's also drug.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well, today's lesson was actually on transference. And this is
what I call the speeding cargoes pass to you driving
like a maniac, and you have a couple options. You
can honk, you can flip them off, you can go
back and try and cut them off, or you can go,
oh my gosh, maybe someone in their family just had
a heart attack and they're trying to get to the hospital.
Maybe they just lost their job and having a terrible
day and they're taking it out on other drivers.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I mean, that's kind of the same thing.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
But let me ask you, when you're developing your own
Shalom personality, I think this is where people get caught
up because if I wait long enough, the text line
will have variations of what I'm about to say. I'm
trying to have a Shalom personality, Rabbi, but I'm dealing
with people who have never understood the word, and they
don't want to have a shaloan personality. So how do
you how do you navigate that without being a pushover?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
That's exactly what we're talking about in week In Week two,
we have four week topics. The first one is is
kind of defining what a sholen personality looks like, and
then how do you take that on the road and
how do you drive? And how do you deal with
people who you otherwise think of as difficult. Sometimes we
characterize someone as difficult, we almost think of ourselves as
being sadly exempt from treating them nicer, speaking to them
(06:35):
in a nice way. We're saying, oh, well, that person
is difficult. You're never going to have a wonderful and
a graceful interaction with them, So don't even try. But
that's that's not our you know, and that's not what
we believe. We believe that you could and you can
gain skills and you can.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Deal with that.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
What are some of the skills? So you mentioned the
one from today, which is to imagine that they're you know,
you have to a lot of these men. You have
to do with empathy and they have to do with
seeing another person's reality and recognizing that they might be
going through something that you don't know anything about. They
might be speaking to you and from a place of
(07:08):
emotion that's caused by someone and something other than you.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
It's not your fault. They're not really upset with you.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Transference is about they're not really upset with you, But
boy do they sound like it, And are you going
to be able to be mindful and to have the
presence of mind in the conversation, to be able to
recognize that that may be causing this discomfor this uncomfortable
interaction is the way that they're speaking to you, which
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
And if I can maintain that.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Presence of mind and I can practice these skills and
I can become more aware, then I don't get flustered,
I don't have to respond in kind, I can keep
my calm, I cannot get thrown, I cannot take it personally,
and I can respond in a way that afterwards I'll
be proud of, I'll feel good, and you know what,
they'll probably calm down too. Actually, if I'm able to
(07:55):
maintain my own calm, and this is something that's not
easy for most of us, and it takes and it
takes awareness. And so that's why we have these campaign,
which is thirty lessons in a row every day, two
minutes a day. And if you're thinking about these things
throughout your day. Our experience in our data shows that
people can really develop skills and speak differently and they
(08:16):
can change.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Well, it's really in my mind about being in control
of your own humanity right, being in control of how
you react to people. And one of the things that
it's both a blessing and a curse of this job
is because of the amount of vitriol that I've gotten
over the years. And I always say it, Denver's been fantastic.
I least amount of ugly hate mail that I've ever
gotten since I've been here. But it hardens you to
(08:39):
that kind of criticism, and that's a blessing to not
respond when someone says something awful, or to respond by
saying I'm not affected by what you just said in
genuine honesty, to be able to say you did not
affect me negatively. So if you want to have a conversation,
we can have a conversation, but I'm not going to
let you affect me. And it seems to me that
(08:59):
being able to maintain control of your own emotions and
maintain control of the situation, that's a very powerful tool to.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Have, super powerful. A lot of us want to influence others.
We want our opinions to be heard, and we you know,
we want to change the world. But if we're not
able to talk to people in a way that is
going to be effective, and they're not going to listen
to us because they're just we're just upset. We just
have a fight instead of having a constructive conversation. We're
not going to move the ball forward and the needle
(09:26):
forward in the way that we want to. So for sure,
these are real skills. You're a person who has to
be able to talk about real issues. You can't just
not talk. You're you're a professional.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It doesn't work as well on the radio if I
just sit here quietly. I learned that a long time ago,
no sitting here quiet ratis go down.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, no problem.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
I wish allways were worried about our ratings, and I
wish we would be find ways to actually have the
conversations that we'd like to have them, and then the
skills to have them in the way that will be effected.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So which and in every lesson you sort of get
the a nugget of Judaism for life, of that way
to put it, that kind of explains the foundation of
all of these different things. What kind of response have
you gotten, because I know that there's a ton of
non Jews that are in part of clean speech Colorado, what.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Kind of response do you get on that sort of.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Little educational piece that allows those of us who didn't
grow up Jewish to have a better understanding of what
drives the faith in the first place.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Sadly, a lot of the feedback that we get, I
think it's not from the audience you describe, but a
lot of the social media response we get is ugly
right now, there is so you can't imagine how many
daily negative comments we get, which are just just hate mail,
just that gross stuff that you know you have to do.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We have to do with it too.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
But generally speaking, when when we're talking to a real
human being, they're only appreciative, right because there these are
timeless lessons. There are lessons that every one of us,
Jewish or non Jewish, can can employ and can appreciate,
and they can help us immediately interact with each other,
you know better, anyone who did want to sign up.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Doesn't cost anything to participaith. You just go to.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Cleanspeech dot com slash Colorado and you put your name
and your email in there and we'll send you two
minute lesson a day for the remainder of November.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
So this Texter, said Mandy, the Rabbi, surely realizes that
most bosses don't have a Shalon mindset. I would argue
I actually do have a boss with a Shaloon mindset.
Our our program director, Dave Tepper, is all about the zen,
giving positive feedback along with the negative feedback, like just
staying even keeled, and it's it makes going to work
(11:25):
so much nicer that if you are a boss and
you don't think you have the Shaloon mindset. These lessons
cut across everything.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Sure in the business world, there's an idea of managing
up that means that you are the supervis and you
can help your supervisor to manage you better and more effectively.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
That's a business concept.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
In a conversation concept, the concept is the same is
that when you manage you know, when you control, when
you are in charge of the way that you interact
with people, it will affect the way that they will
interact with right and with These are not just skills
for dealing with the people in your life that are easy.
These are things that will help to enable you to
(12:05):
have more effective conversations and interactions verbally or otherwise with
the people that are difficult and the people that you have.
You have no choice but to be involved with like
your boss or your neighbor.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Well.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And another aspect of this whenever someone gets married and
they post something like give me your best marriage advice,
My marriage advice is always the same, always be able
to have the hard conversations and have them with love
in your heart like that. I think so many relationships falter,
whether it's a friendship, whether it's a whether it's a relationship,
a romantic relationship, because we somehow think not having those
(12:39):
hard conversations is going to be easier, right when in
the long run it just creates far more issues. How
does this specific Shalom personality work in marriage?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
It's the most powerful thing in all of the closest
relationships that we have. So we talk about you brought
up a boss, but let's who do we really interact
with all the time? Our family, fause family and and
the closest close to big people to us. And this
is a course of training in order to become more
(13:11):
attuned to them and to be more aware of of
of the dynamics that could be causing friction or if
we do doing things well, could be you know, bring
more warmth and love in our relationships.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
And that's that's what we're really what we want.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
We we we want all our relationships to sing, and
we want a happy family and we want you know,
we want happy homes and happy relationships, and that's it's
becoming harder and harder to come by. So sad, you know,
we we we believe that the divorce rates should be
a lot lower than we're seeing and that and that
(13:45):
people should stop unfriending their family members.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Because on social media, because people vote. How do we
get to that people? How many of us? And this
is just a.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Thing, you know, we there's that family member that we
don't invite to the Thanksgiving parties, you know, or how
have we gotten there?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
So how do we come back from that?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And I realized that not every family member is going
to be your favorite person in the world. I get it,
but we somehow, I don't know when that switch flipped,
but all of a sudden, it was like people were like,
you know what, you have a toxic family member. You
should cut them out of your life. I just think
that leaves a lot of open wounds that manifest themselves
in completely different ways down the road. And I wish
(14:23):
we could get past that and get to the point
where people would seek greater understanding with their family members
instead of not seeking understanding at all because it feels
too difficult because of the close relationship. Clean Speech Colorado
is it dot.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Orgo dot com dot com.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I haven't linked on the blog today, so clean Speech
Colorado dot com. Not only can you sign up today
and start getting them in your email box, I'm guessing
tomorrow it's all automatic seeing them, you can go back
and watch the ones you missed, which I would strongly
recommend because the first week where they talk about what
a shalom personality is, it'll help you delineate how being
a kind and shalom personality is not the same as
(15:01):
being a doormat.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
In fact, this year, we have an event called Dialogues
in which we are actually we're actually curating tough conversations
right where we're gonna sit around the table where we're
taking on some of the most controversial topics that are
on all our minds, and we're gonna have it out,
but we're gonna do it effectively, in capably. Don't be
a doormat. Tell me what you think, but tell me
(15:24):
what you think in a way that enables me to
speak with you and tell you what I think, and
we could feel good about having a conversation. Nobody's mind
might be changed, or we might you know, somebody might
be influenced by by one another, but that can only
happen in a context we can speak and where we're
open to it and we're skilled and we feel like
we're we're ready to deal with the topics at hand
(15:47):
that mattered to us most.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
That's our goal.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
That is on the front page of cleanspeech dot com
for Clean Speech Colorado,
The Mandy Connell Podcast News
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