June 2, 2025 • 33 mins
'Lucky Girl Energy' isn't just a TikTok trend - it's backed by actual science and quantum physics!
We explore why your thoughts have far more power than you realize, and how to harness this energy to transform your career trajectory. Plus, learn why being stuck in a work rut might be more fixable than you think, with practical tools you can implement today.
Plus the fabulous Victoria Song, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller ‘Bending Reality’, teaches us her technique for shifting from career frustration to magnetic success. You can find out more about Victoria’s incredible course here.
You might be interested in our episodes on:
How To Talk So People Listen To You
How To Be More Productive (Without Trying Too Hard)
Time Blocking Doesn't Work (Until You Do It Right)
How To Ask For More Money (Without Dying From Awkwardness)
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Follow the Biz Instagram, Michelle’s startup Sunroom and Soph’s career coaching business Workbaby.
Got a work life dilemma? Send us all the questions you definitely can't ask your boss for our Biz Inbox episodes - send us a voice note or email us at podcast@mamamia.com.au. You can remain anon!
HOSTS: Michelle Battersby, Soph Hirst and Em Vernem
EXEC PRODUCER: Georgie Page and Sophie Campbell.
AUDIO PRODUCER: Leah Porges
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hello and welcome to biz your work life Sorted. I'm
m Vernon and today we're diving into something that's been
taking over our TikTok and probably your entire social media feed.
It is lucky Girl syndrome. If you haven't heard of it,
It's basically the belief that everything is always working out
in your favor. It's like manifesting on steroids, where you
(00:36):
genuinely believe and expect good things to happen to you.
And while it might sound a bit woo woo, there's
actually some fascinating signs behind it. I mean, how many
times have you watched someone seemingly cruise through their career,
landing dream job after dream job while you're stuck wondering what.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Their secret is.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Well, today we are unpacking exactly that with our career
coaches Michelle Battersby and Sohurst, plus a special guest, Harvard
and Yale graduate turned manifestation expert Victoria. They're all breaking
Dan had to actually harness this lucky girl energy into
your career, and spoiler alert, it's not just about positive thinking.
There's actual quantum physics involved.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
So there's the place in the back of your brain
called your reticular activating system. We call it the RAS
for short, and its job is to sort all the
information that comes into your brain. About eleven million pieces
of information come into your brain every moment, and you
can process about twenty six pieces of information in any moment,
so there's a lot that gets filtered out, and your
RAS the part that filters that starts working the second
(01:37):
you wake up in the morning, and it's asking what
it is that you want to focus on. What is
it you want to look for in that day. So
if you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm so tired. Ooh,
this day's going to suck, then it's like bam, thank you.
I will filter all the information that comes in your
brain for ways times events that actually suck and promote
the fact that you are tired. But if you tell
(01:58):
it something like I'm lucky, I'm peaceful, it will start
to look for that in your brain because that is
what you have told it is important to you. Just
make sure that you say it in the positive. They
don't say I don't want to be because a brain
doesn't undertand the negative. It only understands the positive and
if you do this day after day after day with
the same thing, eventually you don't even need to do
(02:18):
this as much because your brain already knows. Oh, when
I become conscious, that's what I want to think about,
That's what I want to look for. This is also
why it works when you are thinking about buying a
red car and suddenly you see red cars everywhere.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
It's a rearticular.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Activating system in the back of your brain. So lucky
girl syndrome actually has something to do it.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, So what is your relationship like with the law
of attraction and do you have any experiences in your
career where you feel like the universe has had your back?
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Can you actually just explain what law of attraction is
because I'm not sure that I fully understand it.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, so I think about it like what you put out,
the energy and thoughts that you put out is what
you get back, which I think is what it makes
But Google says it's your thoughts and beliefs, particularly positive ones,
attracting similar outcomes in your life. So what you think
manifests into reality.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
I feel like there's probably twenty examples because that's kind
of how I live in a way. Even though I
didn't know that that was.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Law of attraction stuff.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
But I think one that just happened to me not
long ago, which is kind of crazy. When I was
working in New York at Google, I hired a young
person to work as a contractor, and at the time
he was an unknown name, and now he's one of
the biggest booksellers in the world. His name is Ryan Holiday.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I've read his books, right, So I Hi, didn't we
like no one?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Like?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
He was nothing. We were quite young, and I am
kicking myself that I never stayed in touch with him,
so I didn't get his email, just i'd never stayed
in touch with him. I don't work at Google anymore.
In the last couple of years, as I've started my
creative journey, I've really wanted to be able to contact
so I started thinking, Oh, what are ways that I
can get in touch with him? Can I post a
photo of us on Twitter? Something whatever? So I'm thinking
(04:11):
about him more and more. And then I was running
along the coast about three months ago maybe, and I
saw someone that I thought maybe looked like him. Rampast
thought no, you couldn't possibly be. And then it's like, no,
you have to go back. And I went back and
it was him. He was randomly here for his book tool,
which I had no idea about. And I feel like,
I don't know if this is law of attraction, but
(04:32):
because I had been thinking that there is a possibility
that there's a way that I can see this person again,
and I kind of believe that there's got to be
a way, I know that I'm going to see him,
and also that I actually went and embarrassed myself and
said something to him. I feel like I created that moment.
Maybe I'm not sure if that's a good example or not.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
No, I think that's perfect and that's totally it. And
you've kind of reminded me of some of my own.
Mine are a little bit more self serving, potentially vain
and materialistic relating to career. But some time I will
like get in these slumps, feel like I'm not doing
enough and like I need to do more, and I
(05:12):
will really try and clear the noise and remind myself
who I am, and I'll kind of have these like
strong talks to myself, like, you know what, You're better
than this, Michelle, don't think like this. And so often
I will pull myself out of those moments, and an
email will land in my inbox and it's like an
invitation to go on a podcast I've always wanted to
(05:34):
go on, or like I was going through one of
these slumps, and then I got an invitation to go
to Paris and speak at this event, and like, these
little things will kind of always pop up periodically and
just remind me that the universe has my back, and
you know, I need to stay in this place of positivity.
And this is why I was so excited for this
interview with Victoria, because I've kind of always had these
(05:57):
like ups and downs in my mindset and in where
I feel like my career is going throughout it. And
I've known that I've been able to create these moments
of real positivity and real success off the back of
my thoughts, but I'd never really been able to explain
how I was doing it. I'd also always been quite
(06:18):
acutely aware that like nothing good was going to come
my way if I stayed in this slump. Like I
knew that I was kind of blocking everything for myself,
but I also didn't know how to articulate it. I
bumped into an investor in the airport when I was
having one of these slumps, and I asked her, like,
(06:39):
do you have any career coaches you'd recommend for me,
Like I'm kind of struggling to motivate myself through you know,
this period at the moment, and she recommended I picked
this book up and maybe she could see, like you
desperately need to read this, And perhaps that was also
like a law of attraction type moment that all of
this happened, and it's now led to you know, us
interviewing her and speaking about this on the pod. The
(07:00):
thing that I just loved about like Victoria's writing on
all of this was that she blends like woo woo
with theory and she actually like gives you the cheat
code for how to stay in a place of like
positivity and attracting value and success and people into your life.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
I cannot wait to listen to this interview.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I'm so excited to be joined by you, Victoria today,
because I describe your book as my bible, and it
found its way to me when I was in a
bit of a rut. I was in a dark head space,
and so I'm pumped that we can unpack, you know,
Lucky girl energy and the theories that you speak about
(07:45):
in your book. One of the reasons why it spoke
to me and how I explain it to people is
I feel like it's the perfect blend of woo woo
and theoretical information. And you graduated from Harvard and Yale,
you had a career in Silicon Valley in VC, and
then you transitioned into this expansive space. So I'm curious
(08:10):
to know what inspired you to do that.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
It's a great question. So if I had to name
like a turning point, it was being in rooms with
these billionaire successful founders, like the so called elite, and
realizing that these people who were supposed to have it
all were burnt out, anxious, disconnected from themselves. It was
almost as if they were looking for their worthiness in
(08:35):
all the wrong places, and they were burning through people,
burning through milestones, burning through life, and they were numb
to all of it, so they could even feel the
joy of their accomplishments. And you know, in venture capital,
I was investing in tech startups, so you know, watching
these brilliant minds create extraordinary things, but creating it from
this place of fear versus fulfillment. So contraction versus expansion.
(09:00):
So I really asked myself, like, what's the point of
trying to build technology that helpless save time or extend
our lifetime if we don't even know how to feel
good with the time you already have. And so that
question really pulled me out of being purely strategic and
sitting on people's boards in just this very like transactional
way looking at their numbers and their business model, and
(09:23):
got me into something deeper, which was like studying human potential, psychology, consciousness.
And then that's when I really realized that this next
evolution of leadership success paradigm on the planet is not
going to be driven by hustle, but really driven by
this alignment, expansive embodiment, this emotional mastery. And I found
that because I went to Yale and Harard Business School,
(09:44):
that I could really be this bridge between the two worlds.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
They would listen to you, because I guess of your background,
people would believe you and probably weren't looking at it
as what is this kind of woo wooness? So I'd
love to hear in your words, like your book is
called Bending Reality, and you're talking about alignment and fulfillment.
What does it mean to actually bend reality?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I often have this quote that I like to use,
which is like the moment you enter my world, reality
begins to bend in your favor, And it really captures that.
It's like you quite literally are bending the odds, bending
your reality. And I believe we're always bending our odds,
but we're doing it an autopilot, so we're not necessarily
creating the outcomes that we want. And so even though
(10:31):
it sounds quite mystical, it is grounded in science. So
we can get into that if you're interested. Yeah, but
it just literally means the way we're shifting how we
perceive processes interact with the world that changes our outcomes.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, I would love to get into the science of
it for a moment. In your book, you speak about
quantum physics and these lapes you can make towards endless possibilities, Like,
what is the science behind this?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It's my belief when we look at quantum physics, we
look at the idea that the observer actually influences what
we are observing. So we are collapsing the wavelength that
infinite possibilities down into an expected outcome and I've seen
this time and time again that we get what we expect.
So there's something called the reticular activating system or URAS
(11:17):
for short, and it's actually this filter that determines what
information gets through to us. And so this is that
phenomenon where we're in the market for like a new
red car, you're going to start seeing red cars everywhere
on the street. That's like your reticular activating system looking
for a red car. So the same thing happens when
we set a clear intention is that we start tuning
(11:39):
out distractions like not the red car, and you start
tuning into opportunities that are aligned with what you are
looking for. So what you focus on expands and start
to literally shape your perception of what's possible. That's one element.
And then also our nervous system and our emotional state
signal to our body whether we're in survival mode, this
(11:59):
sort of closed down protection contraction mode, or whether we're
safe and we can open up and this expansive place
of creation. So when you regulate your nervous system and
you start to shift your emotional baseline, meaning like you know,
maybe you have thoughts and feelings of gratitude and peace
and joy, and this coherence in your energy field, you
(12:20):
start to create the conditions for like higher, clearer thinking
and also if your intuition to rise. So something that
we're starting to understand actually is that the left brain
that's typically known as our logic brain, that's the part
of us that actually collapses the wavelength of infinite possibilities
down to an expectation. And then the right part of
our brain are creative, intuitive part of our brain is
(12:41):
actually the part of us that taps into things like
telepathy or synchronicities, or connection to divine or that intuitive hit.
That's really our right part of our brain. That also,
as a woman, we naturally have more of a balance
towards So while like you know, men maybe are more
in their left part of their brain, women naturally tap
(13:01):
more into that intuitive, creative aspect of their brain as well.
So we lean into that we can actually start to
bend the odds in our favor more and more. Also,
neuroplasticity shows us that we can start to physically rewire
based on what we consistently think and feel. It means
that it's not just reacting to life, but actually programming
our thoughts and feelings that create a new reality.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
This is amazing. This is what I want to dive
into for everyone listening. You actually have a line in
your book that is a nice segue, and it's we
don't see reality as it is, we see it through
our lens of consciousness. And you've just touched on this,
like we can rewire our brain. And there might be
people listening who hate their job, feel like they're stuck
(13:44):
in a rut. And you mentioned this earlier as well,
like sometimes we're an autopilot and we're doing these things
and we're not really conscious of it. And one thing
that your book really did to me, and you've again
mentioned it a few times, when you speak about contraction
and expansion, you put it into words exactly what my
own lived experience had been, Like I'd known that I'd
been in these zones where I just felt like I
(14:07):
was attracting everything that I needed in that moment, and
I felt lucky, and I knew that I was lucky,
and I knew that the universe always had my back.
And then on the flip side, I could get into
these zones where I'm like, oh my god, this is
all falling to shit. I must succeed at all costs.
That is exactly like expansion versus contraction. And for the
(14:28):
people at home, I think to really be able to
leave this episode and know exactly where to start, or
have some really practical tips I'd love to hear from you,
like how you define expansion and contraction and how people
can identify when they're in a contracted state, And is
it more important to like work on breaking through contraction
(14:48):
first so you can truly be in an expansive state
to change your reality or does it not matter which
one you focus on first? I love that.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, So what you're alluding to is really this internal
operating system you know you can turn on and really
move us into expansion. And it's really about this like
energetic state that you're talking about. So when we're in contraction,
which is what most people unconsciously live in, they're living
in fear, doubt, control, urgency, pressure, constant comparison, and it's
(15:18):
that feeling of meaning to like grip tighter, as you said,
to make something happen. And even when we're setting these
big goals and exciting juicy visions, we are often doing
it from a place of contraction, which is actually pushing
them further away because you start to wonder like is
it working, is it happening fast enough? You know, And
then all of that pressure is putting us in contraction.
(15:38):
And then the opposite, when we're in the energy of expansion.
That's when we're able to trust and feel open to possibilities.
We're excited, we're driven by our purpose, our mission, our passion.
We bring a lot of joy and fun. There's almost
like a playful energy to which we create from. And
it's when we're holding the vision versus the circumstance. For
(15:59):
so often we're in contraction because we're looking at what
is the current circumstance that we're in that we don't like,
versus attuning to the vision, holding the vision of what
we want from an expansive place. And so when you're
in expansion, you fear your body relaxed, your mind is clear,
you're really grounded, and you're knowing.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Is contraction a legitimate block off to expansion and like
you can't really reach this energetic stite if you are
operating from contraction.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, I do. So. I call it alchemy, which is
like transmuting contraction into expansion. I feel that one of
the key parts of this is actually being able to
feel our emotions fully. So so often when I see
people who are burnt out, it's because they're actually numb
to their life, numb to their emotional state, numb to
the stress. And they thought that that was a good
(16:48):
coping mechanism because they weren't like feeling the ups and
downs of all their circumstances. But in fact, they were
staying kind of stuck and trapped. And they would come
to me and say, like, I feel blocked, and I
can't even name why or what it is that's blocking me,
but I could see that they had these frozen energetic
pass from all the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, maybe wounds from
(17:09):
the past that were holding contraction in their bodies, and
until they were able to feel the contraction fully, they
couldn't release and fall out that frozen energy pattern.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, oh my god, this is so relatable. All right,
So for anyone listening who's thinking, fuck, I'm a contraction
right now, what like a couple of your tips, Like
what tools could they be using to break through that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
So one technique that I'm going to introduce very quickly
here about you know, once you hear it, you can
do it on your own. It's what fires together, we
wires together. And it's called the polarity integration. And so
I often invite my clients to feel into the contraction
of their life. So maybe it's a relationship or a
work deal or a job offer, and they'll let themselves
(17:53):
kind of free associate the thoughts, what are you thinking
about when you think about this deal, what's the image
that you have? What's the feeling? And they'll kind of
notice their body tense up and they'll kind of picture
it really fully, and I have them like turn it up,
almost like returning the doll all the way to eleven,
so they really let themselves allow and feel the contraction fully.
And then once you finish that state, I have them
(18:13):
go into the opposite and I'll say, well, what's the
expansive state feel like, And if it's the job, maybe
they're like, well, I got the job offer and it
feels so good and I'm excited, I'm grateful, I'm celebrating.
And they see the image, the thought, the feelings that
they associate with that expansive state, and then now they're
kind of in that opposite state, and what fires together
we wires together. So then now I actually have them
start to breathe in both at the same time, so
(18:35):
they'll kind of almost like a painter bringing a little
bit of that first color of the contract with state
with that expansive state. And then you can even do
it right now if you breathe in both and then
squeeze both states together top of your inhale before you
release on the exhale. You just do that two or
three times, you'll notice that all of a sudden you're like, oh,
there's more breathing room. The contraction isn't like activating my
(18:55):
system and hijacking me as much. And if you do
that thing that we just did, like three more rounds
of that, you'll actually feel that that contraction is neutralized,
like there's no more charge in that contracted state. And
now when you think into the circumstance the person or
the opportunity, you're going to notice peace and neutrality, which
is so much more powerful to create from and to
(19:16):
see clearly from than that triggered state of like tunnel vision.
Oh no, like impending doom generator. What's going to happen?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Oh my god, Okay, I mean I feel as we're
talking on like I need to go and start doing
some breath work. Yeah, what about for anyone listening who
is like, they're not necessarily in a contracted state, They're
feeling good, they know the universe has their back, and
they want to dial up that like a lucky girl energy.
What are some expansive tools people can use.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
The first thing is that it's not so much the
strategy that is as important as the energy state from
which we're creating from. So you think of it as
like the energy from which I create from is what
dictates both the outcomes and the trajectory of my results.
And so shift into an expanse of energy first, which
you can do from you know, going in, taking you
(20:05):
walk in nature without your phone, talking about the science.
It's like, what's going to get your high beta brain
waves that are like super alert and stressed out starting
to feel like, oh, I can drop into low beta
brainwave state, into alf a brainwave state where I'm relaxed. Okay,
So everything kind of brings that mental chatter down that's
going to really help you shift your energetic state. So
(20:26):
you can even turn on a song that you really enjoy.
You can do some breath work right, and you can
also like write out a couple things that you're grateful for.
These are all things that shift your energy state before
you even worry about the strategy. This is how I
find that, like every strategy can work, you're actually doing
it from the right state. You're in an expansive state.
(20:46):
That's what makes a strategy work.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I know there's so much that goes into this, and
I've read it in your book, like there's so much
that you need to do around your own self worth conditioning,
like working through emotions, allowing yourself to feel And I
know we've only really skimmed the surface, but we'll definitely
be encouraging everyone to get a copy of your book
and to do this work from home as well. I
(21:09):
want to end on one final question. Do you think
luck is handed out or created by you?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think it's created. I think everyone who operates from
an expansive state feels lucky, and it literally bends the
odds in your favor. Right. It's like the particular activating
system that's always looking for miracles and magic and synchronicities
is what I believe the lucky Girl syndrome is actually about.
So you can absolutely create your own luck. Amazing.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Okay, thank you so much, Victoria. This has been incredibly helpful,
and I know eroun at Hunt will love this EP.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
You're so welcome. Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
So I'm really hoping that that interview has convinced everyone
that you can truly bend reality and the power is
in your hands. But they now wanted to get really
practical in terms of how you can actually start and
what you can do today. In Victoria's book, she starts
off with a value setting exercise that is just one
(22:17):
of the best value setting exercises I've ever come across.
I had always heard people speak about their values. I've
participated in exercises before about values, but nothing had really
cut through as much as this had. And I think
if you're ever in a haze or in a rut,
knowing your values is a really good place to come
back to, and you're kind of creating your own north star.
(22:40):
It'll also help you identify, like what your zone of
genius is and then stay in that in terms of
what you're actually working on, and maybe like the workplaces
and industries that you're in as well. So this could
kind of be a bigger moment for people. But yeah,
I do think it's a really good, like ground zero
place to start and a little journaling exercise that people
can do. So the first thing you're going to do
(23:02):
is you're going to think, you know, who is my
best friend, and what other qualities about your best friend
that you admire most, and you're just going to start
listing them out. Then you're going to think of a
teacher you've had at any age and who was your
favorite and what made them your favorite, And then you're
going to start writing down the things you loved about
the most. Then you're going to think about what upsets
(23:25):
you and why it upsets you. And with this, it's
like when you look at those things, you're looking at
the value that is missing. So if dishonesty upsets you,
then authenticity is clearly what you value. So that's what
you'll be writing down. And then you'll think about what
your must haves are and what you need in this
world to feel fulfilled. And this is basically a list
(23:50):
now of all the things that you value most. So
you might have a shitload of things on a page
because there are more questions, but this is just kind
of a great start. So you're going to look at
all these values and you're going to start to group them.
So if you have say creativity and imagination, then you
might start to group that under one word that symbolizes
(24:11):
those things. And the goal is really to start to
shorten the list and create a short list, and you're
going to try and narrow this list down to ten.
That is the goal. And then once you've got your
final ten, you're going to rate yourself out of ten
in terms of how you're living out that value today
(24:34):
and that will kind of give you a pulse check
on where you are right now and how you're living
your life in that moment, which can be an amazing
reference point for you to come back to in the
future as well. And these values should really be your
guiding principles. They're going to help you make decisions because
now you truly know what matters to you and you
(24:56):
can kind of let the fluff go. So that's kind
of step one.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I'm not sure if people heard the noises in the background,
but it was me getting out my notebook.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I was like, I need to start writing this down.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
I feel like I've done so many value exercises that
just you do the workshop and then at the end,
you're left with nothing. This sounds so practical and I'm
gonna do it. I really want to do it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
It's so practical, and I think, like this is probably
enough to get started. But if you get her book,
it goes into more and more detail on this, and
there's a question that she kind of gets everyone to
answer at the end, and it's your imagining yourself in
Times Square and you've got a thirty second billboard that's
about to play, and it is going to play just
one impact statement, and like what is the message you
(25:39):
want to leave everyone in Times Square with at that moment?
And that also really helps you just figure out, like
what is it that I truly give a shit about?
Speaker 5 (25:47):
Do you remember what yours was when you did this?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
So if you're really catching me out, I know it
would have been something to do with like women one
hundred percent, but no, I don't remember it, and that's
so bad. But I've got like my workbook on when
I went through this and the point that it can change.
Speaker 5 (26:05):
So if you did this again, it might be a
different statement that you're gonna have up there. So yeah,
I love this.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
So that is one thing that I just wanted to
leave people with because I do think it's a really
good way to just like figure out where you're at
and what matters to you most. The next thing I
wanted to leave everyone with is I spoke a lot
with Victoria about contraction, and that's really the thing that
is going to block all the positive vibes that you
(26:30):
need coming your way. And it's like, if you're existing
in that state of contraction, it's gonna feel hard and
it's gonna feel really sticky. And so I just wanted
to share some of her ideas that she also goes
into in the book around how to break through that contraction.
And these, again are things that people can do today.
So I've just picked out five that I love. One
(26:52):
is talk back to your inner critic whenever it comes up,
turn up music that goes with your emotion and just
let it out, because, as Victoria says, I think she says,
emotions is energy in motion, So like using music to
move through that. Then of course move or work out,
go for a walk around the block, cry to someone
(27:14):
that you trust, and again just like feel through it.
And of course I think one probably a lot of
people do is write down what you're feeling and journal.
So if you're feeling like you're in that sticky place
at the moment, potentially things you could do right now
to kind of move through it.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
And the interesting part about this, Michelle is the line
that she has in the interview what.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Fires together, wires together? Is that what it was?
Speaker 5 (27:39):
Yeah, as you're listing these things to me, I'm thinking,
you know, I want to go and figure out the
science behind that, because I know all of these tips
that you're giving they're actually grounded in things that are
happening in your brain and your body, and there is
science sort of supporting why these things actually work, and.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Also finding the things that work specifically for you, Like
in her book, there's probably fifty of these things that
you can do to move through contraction. And like, what
works for me, what works for you, might not work
for someone else. So think about the things that like
you maybe do or you have access to, or like
it's an easy thing for you to do throughout the day,
(28:17):
and then to remain In expansion, she also has a
ton of ideas, so I just again group them into five.
So I've got a first five which are more like
written and thought based. So vision boarding, a time machine,
so write yourself a letter from one year into the future.
I actually did this on a health retreat once and
(28:37):
then they mailed it to everyone a year later. An Yes,
they're so good, very powerful. Yeah, and you kind of
remember it and so you're really like you want to
like make those promises to yourself. Positive self talk, just
writing yourself a note on a post it each morning.
Morning pages, So writing three pages of stream of consciousness
(29:01):
first thing, and then positive focus, so write ten highlights
from the week and then doubling down on what's working
and just use it to maintain momentum. And then outdoorsy
and relax. These are more chill, relaxing ones laughter. I
love that this is on there because it's like watch
a funny movie or be silly with someone. Like for me,
(29:23):
sometimes I just need to binge something and you can
feel like you're maybe not being that productive, but you
are creativity. So make something. I don't know if you're
into drawing, embroidery, whatever it is. Music, Listen to your
favorite album or playlist. Self care full permission to go
to a spa and then compliment. So offer a friend, colleague,
(29:44):
or loved one a compliment and receive their response, This is.
Speaker 5 (29:47):
Cool because it's like permission to do things that actually
make you feel good and not feeling guilty about that,
but being like this is actually helping me to get
into an expensive state and that's going to help me
get to where I want to go.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Yes, and we all need that. You can feel like
maybe you should be doing something like product, but it
is productive.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
The thing that came through and listening to you give
those lists of very practical things that people can do,
the thing that keeps coming back to me is this
word agency. And so you know, we talk about luck
as like something that happens to us, but I think
there's so much in what you're saying, this message and
the book and the interview around it's actually what you
do with that situation. And so this idea that you
(30:29):
have agency control what you can control. And then so
much of our reality is the perception that we're creating
based on whether we're validating or disproving these expectations that
we have and sort of how we're viewing things. So
I really love that there's a line that I actually
keep coming back to as well, which is you have
all the tools you need to change your life circumstances.
(30:51):
So I keep playing that out as like I have
everything that I need to actually change what I want
to change in my life. I don't think it's like
imagine anything you want and you can kind of manifest
that to happen. I don't think that's the point. I
think it's more like you can change your life and
you decide how you want it to change and where
you want it to change too, but that you have
the agency and to focus on what you can control.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
I love that so much, so especially that you have
the tools to change your life circumstances. I think sometimes
people use luck as a way to like undermine someone's
success or maybe that they had it easily as well.
And so I love when Victoria said that it's not
something that's given to you, like it's created. And I've
always felt like luck is a combination of timing and
(31:36):
opportunity colliding, and then it's really up to you to
take that and execute on it.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
I'm glad you call that timing, because I think timing
is a massive part of it, right, And if I
look back throughout my career, so many of the good
things happened because there was the right timing. But then
I also made the most of that opportunity by doing
a lot of the things that you actually talk about
in the episode today. This was massive, Michelle, there was
so much in here. I'm going to go and do
(32:02):
the values exercise and I think, are you going to
put a lot of this stuff in the newsletter so
people can sign up and make sure that they're getting
more of what you shared?
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah, definitely, this will all be in the newsletter, so
make sure you read it this week. I loved this.
I feel so lucky. Okay, So I hope everyone has
a very lucky weeke off the back of this. And please,
dm us, if you've ever had these law of attraction moments,
we would love to hear them. And doubly, dm US,
(32:31):
if you act on any of this and something comes
your way, we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
What I love most about this episode is how it
perfectly balances the practical with the spiritual. It's not just
about manifesting success, it's about creating the right energetic state
to actually receive it. For anyone wanting to dive deeper
into this topic, make sure you check out this week's
bus newsletter, where Michelle breaks down that incredible values exercise
(33:02):
step by step. There is a link in our show notes.
If you're loving these conversations about mindset and success, head
over to our Viz by Mama Mia on Instagram, where
we'll be sharing our daily doses of career inspiration and
behind the scenes moments with our guests. Mamma Mia acknowledges
(33:25):
the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
is recorded on
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hello and welcome to biz your work life Sorted. I'm
m Vernon and today we're diving into something that's been
taking over our TikTok and probably your entire social media feed.
It is lucky Girl syndrome. If you haven't heard of it,
It's basically the belief that everything is always working out
in your favor. It's like manifesting on steroids, where you
(00:36):
genuinely believe and expect good things to happen to you.
And while it might sound a bit woo woo, there's
actually some fascinating signs behind it. I mean, how many
times have you watched someone seemingly cruise through their career,
landing dream job after dream job while you're stuck wondering what.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Their secret is.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Well, today we are unpacking exactly that with our career
coaches Michelle Battersby and Sohurst, plus a special guest, Harvard
and Yale graduate turned manifestation expert Victoria. They're all breaking
Dan had to actually harness this lucky girl energy into
your career, and spoiler alert, it's not just about positive thinking.
There's actual quantum physics involved.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
So there's the place in the back of your brain
called your reticular activating system. We call it the RAS
for short, and its job is to sort all the
information that comes into your brain. About eleven million pieces
of information come into your brain every moment, and you
can process about twenty six pieces of information in any moment,
so there's a lot that gets filtered out, and your
RAS the part that filters that starts working the second
(01:37):
you wake up in the morning, and it's asking what
it is that you want to focus on. What is
it you want to look for in that day. So
if you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm so tired. Ooh,
this day's going to suck, then it's like bam, thank you.
I will filter all the information that comes in your
brain for ways times events that actually suck and promote
the fact that you are tired. But if you tell
(01:58):
it something like I'm lucky, I'm peaceful, it will start
to look for that in your brain because that is
what you have told it is important to you. Just
make sure that you say it in the positive. They
don't say I don't want to be because a brain
doesn't undertand the negative. It only understands the positive and
if you do this day after day after day with
the same thing, eventually you don't even need to do
(02:18):
this as much because your brain already knows. Oh, when
I become conscious, that's what I want to think about,
That's what I want to look for. This is also
why it works when you are thinking about buying a
red car and suddenly you see red cars everywhere.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
It's a rearticular.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Activating system in the back of your brain. So lucky
girl syndrome actually has something to do it.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, So what is your relationship like with the law
of attraction and do you have any experiences in your
career where you feel like the universe has had your back?
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Can you actually just explain what law of attraction is
because I'm not sure that I fully understand it.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, so I think about it like what you put out,
the energy and thoughts that you put out is what
you get back, which I think is what it makes
But Google says it's your thoughts and beliefs, particularly positive ones,
attracting similar outcomes in your life. So what you think
manifests into reality.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
I feel like there's probably twenty examples because that's kind
of how I live in a way. Even though I
didn't know that that was.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Law of attraction stuff.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
But I think one that just happened to me not
long ago, which is kind of crazy. When I was
working in New York at Google, I hired a young
person to work as a contractor, and at the time
he was an unknown name, and now he's one of
the biggest booksellers in the world. His name is Ryan Holiday.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I've read his books, right, So I Hi, didn't we
like no one?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Like?
Speaker 5 (03:51):
He was nothing. We were quite young, and I am
kicking myself that I never stayed in touch with him,
so I didn't get his email, just i'd never stayed
in touch with him. I don't work at Google anymore.
In the last couple of years, as I've started my
creative journey, I've really wanted to be able to contact
so I started thinking, Oh, what are ways that I
can get in touch with him? Can I post a
photo of us on Twitter? Something whatever? So I'm thinking
(04:11):
about him more and more. And then I was running
along the coast about three months ago maybe, and I
saw someone that I thought maybe looked like him. Rampast
thought no, you couldn't possibly be. And then it's like, no,
you have to go back. And I went back and
it was him. He was randomly here for his book tool,
which I had no idea about. And I feel like,
I don't know if this is law of attraction, but
(04:32):
because I had been thinking that there is a possibility
that there's a way that I can see this person again,
and I kind of believe that there's got to be
a way, I know that I'm going to see him,
and also that I actually went and embarrassed myself and
said something to him. I feel like I created that moment.
Maybe I'm not sure if that's a good example or not.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
No, I think that's perfect and that's totally it. And
you've kind of reminded me of some of my own.
Mine are a little bit more self serving, potentially vain
and materialistic relating to career. But some time I will
like get in these slumps, feel like I'm not doing
enough and like I need to do more, and I
(05:12):
will really try and clear the noise and remind myself
who I am, and I'll kind of have these like
strong talks to myself, like, you know what, You're better
than this, Michelle, don't think like this. And so often
I will pull myself out of those moments, and an
email will land in my inbox and it's like an
invitation to go on a podcast I've always wanted to
(05:34):
go on, or like I was going through one of
these slumps, and then I got an invitation to go
to Paris and speak at this event, and like, these
little things will kind of always pop up periodically and
just remind me that the universe has my back, and
you know, I need to stay in this place of positivity.
And this is why I was so excited for this
interview with Victoria, because I've kind of always had these
(05:57):
like ups and downs in my mindset and in where
I feel like my career is going throughout it. And
I've known that I've been able to create these moments
of real positivity and real success off the back of
my thoughts, but I'd never really been able to explain
how I was doing it. I'd also always been quite
(06:18):
acutely aware that like nothing good was going to come
my way if I stayed in this slump. Like I
knew that I was kind of blocking everything for myself,
but I also didn't know how to articulate it. I
bumped into an investor in the airport when I was
having one of these slumps, and I asked her, like,
(06:39):
do you have any career coaches you'd recommend for me,
Like I'm kind of struggling to motivate myself through you know,
this period at the moment, and she recommended I picked
this book up and maybe she could see, like you
desperately need to read this, And perhaps that was also
like a law of attraction type moment that all of
this happened, and it's now led to you know, us
interviewing her and speaking about this on the pod. The
(07:00):
thing that I just loved about like Victoria's writing on
all of this was that she blends like woo woo
with theory and she actually like gives you the cheat
code for how to stay in a place of like
positivity and attracting value and success and people into your life.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
I cannot wait to listen to this interview.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I'm so excited to be joined by you, Victoria today,
because I describe your book as my bible, and it
found its way to me when I was in a
bit of a rut. I was in a dark head space,
and so I'm pumped that we can unpack, you know,
Lucky girl energy and the theories that you speak about
(07:45):
in your book. One of the reasons why it spoke
to me and how I explain it to people is
I feel like it's the perfect blend of woo woo
and theoretical information. And you graduated from Harvard and Yale,
you had a career in Silicon Valley in VC, and
then you transitioned into this expansive space. So I'm curious
(08:10):
to know what inspired you to do that.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
It's a great question. So if I had to name
like a turning point, it was being in rooms with
these billionaire successful founders, like the so called elite, and
realizing that these people who were supposed to have it
all were burnt out, anxious, disconnected from themselves. It was
almost as if they were looking for their worthiness in
(08:35):
all the wrong places, and they were burning through people,
burning through milestones, burning through life, and they were numb
to all of it, so they could even feel the
joy of their accomplishments. And you know, in venture capital,
I was investing in tech startups, so you know, watching
these brilliant minds create extraordinary things, but creating it from
this place of fear versus fulfillment. So contraction versus expansion.
(09:00):
So I really asked myself, like, what's the point of
trying to build technology that helpless save time or extend
our lifetime if we don't even know how to feel
good with the time you already have. And so that
question really pulled me out of being purely strategic and
sitting on people's boards in just this very like transactional
way looking at their numbers and their business model, and
(09:23):
got me into something deeper, which was like studying human potential, psychology, consciousness.
And then that's when I really realized that this next
evolution of leadership success paradigm on the planet is not
going to be driven by hustle, but really driven by
this alignment, expansive embodiment, this emotional mastery. And I found
that because I went to Yale and Harard Business School,
(09:44):
that I could really be this bridge between the two worlds.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
They would listen to you, because I guess of your background,
people would believe you and probably weren't looking at it
as what is this kind of woo wooness? So I'd
love to hear in your words, like your book is
called Bending Reality, and you're talking about alignment and fulfillment.
What does it mean to actually bend reality?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I often have this quote that I like to use,
which is like the moment you enter my world, reality
begins to bend in your favor, And it really captures that.
It's like you quite literally are bending the odds, bending
your reality. And I believe we're always bending our odds,
but we're doing it an autopilot, so we're not necessarily
creating the outcomes that we want. And so even though
(10:31):
it sounds quite mystical, it is grounded in science. So
we can get into that if you're interested. Yeah, but
it just literally means the way we're shifting how we
perceive processes interact with the world that changes our outcomes.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, I would love to get into the science of
it for a moment. In your book, you speak about
quantum physics and these lapes you can make towards endless possibilities, Like,
what is the science behind this?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It's my belief when we look at quantum physics, we
look at the idea that the observer actually influences what
we are observing. So we are collapsing the wavelength that
infinite possibilities down into an expected outcome and I've seen
this time and time again that we get what we expect.
So there's something called the reticular activating system or URAS
(11:17):
for short, and it's actually this filter that determines what
information gets through to us. And so this is that
phenomenon where we're in the market for like a new
red car, you're going to start seeing red cars everywhere
on the street. That's like your reticular activating system looking
for a red car. So the same thing happens when
we set a clear intention is that we start tuning
(11:39):
out distractions like not the red car, and you start
tuning into opportunities that are aligned with what you are
looking for. So what you focus on expands and start
to literally shape your perception of what's possible. That's one element.
And then also our nervous system and our emotional state
signal to our body whether we're in survival mode, this
(11:59):
sort of closed down protection contraction mode, or whether we're
safe and we can open up and this expansive place
of creation. So when you regulate your nervous system and
you start to shift your emotional baseline, meaning like you know,
maybe you have thoughts and feelings of gratitude and peace
and joy, and this coherence in your energy field, you
(12:20):
start to create the conditions for like higher, clearer thinking
and also if your intuition to rise. So something that
we're starting to understand actually is that the left brain
that's typically known as our logic brain, that's the part
of us that actually collapses the wavelength of infinite possibilities
down to an expectation. And then the right part of
our brain are creative, intuitive part of our brain is
(12:41):
actually the part of us that taps into things like
telepathy or synchronicities, or connection to divine or that intuitive hit.
That's really our right part of our brain. That also,
as a woman, we naturally have more of a balance
towards So while like you know, men maybe are more
in their left part of their brain, women naturally tap
(13:01):
more into that intuitive, creative aspect of their brain as well.
So we lean into that we can actually start to
bend the odds in our favor more and more. Also,
neuroplasticity shows us that we can start to physically rewire
based on what we consistently think and feel. It means
that it's not just reacting to life, but actually programming
our thoughts and feelings that create a new reality.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
This is amazing. This is what I want to dive
into for everyone listening. You actually have a line in
your book that is a nice segue, and it's we
don't see reality as it is, we see it through
our lens of consciousness. And you've just touched on this,
like we can rewire our brain. And there might be
people listening who hate their job, feel like they're stuck
(13:44):
in a rut. And you mentioned this earlier as well,
like sometimes we're an autopilot and we're doing these things
and we're not really conscious of it. And one thing
that your book really did to me, and you've again
mentioned it a few times, when you speak about contraction
and expansion, you put it into words exactly what my
own lived experience had been, Like I'd known that I'd
been in these zones where I just felt like I
(14:07):
was attracting everything that I needed in that moment, and
I felt lucky, and I knew that I was lucky,
and I knew that the universe always had my back.
And then on the flip side, I could get into
these zones where I'm like, oh my god, this is
all falling to shit. I must succeed at all costs.
That is exactly like expansion versus contraction. And for the
(14:28):
people at home, I think to really be able to
leave this episode and know exactly where to start, or
have some really practical tips I'd love to hear from you,
like how you define expansion and contraction and how people
can identify when they're in a contracted state, And is
it more important to like work on breaking through contraction
(14:48):
first so you can truly be in an expansive state
to change your reality or does it not matter which
one you focus on first? I love that.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, So what you're alluding to is really this internal
operating system you know you can turn on and really
move us into expansion. And it's really about this like
energetic state that you're talking about. So when we're in contraction,
which is what most people unconsciously live in, they're living
in fear, doubt, control, urgency, pressure, constant comparison, and it's
(15:18):
that feeling of meaning to like grip tighter, as you said,
to make something happen. And even when we're setting these
big goals and exciting juicy visions, we are often doing
it from a place of contraction, which is actually pushing
them further away because you start to wonder like is
it working, is it happening fast enough? You know, And
then all of that pressure is putting us in contraction.
(15:38):
And then the opposite, when we're in the energy of expansion.
That's when we're able to trust and feel open to possibilities.
We're excited, we're driven by our purpose, our mission, our passion.
We bring a lot of joy and fun. There's almost
like a playful energy to which we create from. And
it's when we're holding the vision versus the circumstance. For
(15:59):
so often we're in contraction because we're looking at what
is the current circumstance that we're in that we don't like,
versus attuning to the vision, holding the vision of what
we want from an expansive place. And so when you're
in expansion, you fear your body relaxed, your mind is clear,
you're really grounded, and you're knowing.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Is contraction a legitimate block off to expansion and like
you can't really reach this energetic stite if you are
operating from contraction.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, I do. So. I call it alchemy, which is
like transmuting contraction into expansion. I feel that one of
the key parts of this is actually being able to
feel our emotions fully. So so often when I see
people who are burnt out, it's because they're actually numb
to their life, numb to their emotional state, numb to
the stress. And they thought that that was a good
(16:48):
coping mechanism because they weren't like feeling the ups and
downs of all their circumstances. But in fact, they were
staying kind of stuck and trapped. And they would come
to me and say, like, I feel blocked, and I
can't even name why or what it is that's blocking me,
but I could see that they had these frozen energetic
pass from all the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, maybe wounds from
(17:09):
the past that were holding contraction in their bodies, and
until they were able to feel the contraction fully, they
couldn't release and fall out that frozen energy pattern.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Yeah, oh my god, this is so relatable. All right,
So for anyone listening who's thinking, fuck, I'm a contraction
right now, what like a couple of your tips, Like
what tools could they be using to break through that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
So one technique that I'm going to introduce very quickly
here about you know, once you hear it, you can
do it on your own. It's what fires together, we
wires together. And it's called the polarity integration. And so
I often invite my clients to feel into the contraction
of their life. So maybe it's a relationship or a
work deal or a job offer, and they'll let themselves
(17:53):
kind of free associate the thoughts, what are you thinking
about when you think about this deal, what's the image
that you have? What's the feeling? And they'll kind of
notice their body tense up and they'll kind of picture
it really fully, and I have them like turn it up,
almost like returning the doll all the way to eleven,
so they really let themselves allow and feel the contraction fully.
And then once you finish that state, I have them
(18:13):
go into the opposite and I'll say, well, what's the
expansive state feel like, And if it's the job, maybe
they're like, well, I got the job offer and it
feels so good and I'm excited, I'm grateful, I'm celebrating.
And they see the image, the thought, the feelings that
they associate with that expansive state, and then now they're
kind of in that opposite state, and what fires together
we wires together. So then now I actually have them
start to breathe in both at the same time, so
(18:35):
they'll kind of almost like a painter bringing a little
bit of that first color of the contract with state
with that expansive state. And then you can even do
it right now if you breathe in both and then
squeeze both states together top of your inhale before you
release on the exhale. You just do that two or
three times, you'll notice that all of a sudden you're like, oh,
there's more breathing room. The contraction isn't like activating my
(18:55):
system and hijacking me as much. And if you do
that thing that we just did, like three more rounds
of that, you'll actually feel that that contraction is neutralized,
like there's no more charge in that contracted state. And
now when you think into the circumstance the person or
the opportunity, you're going to notice peace and neutrality, which
is so much more powerful to create from and to
(19:16):
see clearly from than that triggered state of like tunnel vision.
Oh no, like impending doom generator. What's going to happen?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Oh my god, Okay, I mean I feel as we're
talking on like I need to go and start doing
some breath work. Yeah, what about for anyone listening who
is like, they're not necessarily in a contracted state, They're
feeling good, they know the universe has their back, and
they want to dial up that like a lucky girl energy.
What are some expansive tools people can use.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
The first thing is that it's not so much the
strategy that is as important as the energy state from
which we're creating from. So you think of it as
like the energy from which I create from is what
dictates both the outcomes and the trajectory of my results.
And so shift into an expanse of energy first, which
you can do from you know, going in, taking you
(20:05):
walk in nature without your phone, talking about the science.
It's like, what's going to get your high beta brain
waves that are like super alert and stressed out starting
to feel like, oh, I can drop into low beta
brainwave state, into alf a brainwave state where I'm relaxed. Okay,
So everything kind of brings that mental chatter down that's
going to really help you shift your energetic state. So
(20:26):
you can even turn on a song that you really enjoy.
You can do some breath work right, and you can
also like write out a couple things that you're grateful for.
These are all things that shift your energy state before
you even worry about the strategy. This is how I
find that, like every strategy can work, you're actually doing
it from the right state. You're in an expansive state.
(20:46):
That's what makes a strategy work.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I know there's so much that goes into this, and
I've read it in your book, like there's so much
that you need to do around your own self worth conditioning,
like working through emotions, allowing yourself to feel And I
know we've only really skimmed the surface, but we'll definitely
be encouraging everyone to get a copy of your book
and to do this work from home as well. I
(21:09):
want to end on one final question. Do you think
luck is handed out or created by you?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think it's created. I think everyone who operates from
an expansive state feels lucky, and it literally bends the
odds in your favor. Right. It's like the particular activating
system that's always looking for miracles and magic and synchronicities
is what I believe the lucky Girl syndrome is actually about.
So you can absolutely create your own luck. Amazing.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Okay, thank you so much, Victoria. This has been incredibly helpful,
and I know eroun at Hunt will love this EP.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
You're so welcome. Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
So I'm really hoping that that interview has convinced everyone
that you can truly bend reality and the power is
in your hands. But they now wanted to get really
practical in terms of how you can actually start and
what you can do today. In Victoria's book, she starts
off with a value setting exercise that is just one
(22:17):
of the best value setting exercises I've ever come across.
I had always heard people speak about their values. I've
participated in exercises before about values, but nothing had really
cut through as much as this had. And I think
if you're ever in a haze or in a rut,
knowing your values is a really good place to come
back to, and you're kind of creating your own north star.
(22:40):
It'll also help you identify, like what your zone of
genius is and then stay in that in terms of
what you're actually working on, and maybe like the workplaces
and industries that you're in as well. So this could
kind of be a bigger moment for people. But yeah,
I do think it's a really good, like ground zero
place to start and a little journaling exercise that people
can do. So the first thing you're going to do
(23:02):
is you're going to think, you know, who is my
best friend, and what other qualities about your best friend
that you admire most, and you're just going to start
listing them out. Then you're going to think of a
teacher you've had at any age and who was your
favorite and what made them your favorite, And then you're
going to start writing down the things you loved about
the most. Then you're going to think about what upsets
(23:25):
you and why it upsets you. And with this, it's
like when you look at those things, you're looking at
the value that is missing. So if dishonesty upsets you,
then authenticity is clearly what you value. So that's what
you'll be writing down. And then you'll think about what
your must haves are and what you need in this
world to feel fulfilled. And this is basically a list
(23:50):
now of all the things that you value most. So
you might have a shitload of things on a page
because there are more questions, but this is just kind
of a great start. So you're going to look at
all these values and you're going to start to group them.
So if you have say creativity and imagination, then you
might start to group that under one word that symbolizes
(24:11):
those things. And the goal is really to start to
shorten the list and create a short list, and you're
going to try and narrow this list down to ten.
That is the goal. And then once you've got your
final ten, you're going to rate yourself out of ten
in terms of how you're living out that value today
(24:34):
and that will kind of give you a pulse check
on where you are right now and how you're living
your life in that moment, which can be an amazing
reference point for you to come back to in the
future as well. And these values should really be your
guiding principles. They're going to help you make decisions because
now you truly know what matters to you and you
(24:56):
can kind of let the fluff go. So that's kind
of step one.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I'm not sure if people heard the noises in the background,
but it was me getting out my notebook.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I was like, I need to start writing this down.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
I feel like I've done so many value exercises that
just you do the workshop and then at the end,
you're left with nothing. This sounds so practical and I'm
gonna do it. I really want to do it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
It's so practical, and I think, like this is probably
enough to get started. But if you get her book,
it goes into more and more detail on this, and
there's a question that she kind of gets everyone to
answer at the end, and it's your imagining yourself in
Times Square and you've got a thirty second billboard that's
about to play, and it is going to play just
one impact statement, and like what is the message you
(25:39):
want to leave everyone in Times Square with at that moment?
And that also really helps you just figure out, like
what is it that I truly give a shit about?
Speaker 5 (25:47):
Do you remember what yours was when you did this?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
So if you're really catching me out, I know it
would have been something to do with like women one
hundred percent, but no, I don't remember it, and that's
so bad. But I've got like my workbook on when
I went through this and the point that it can change.
Speaker 5 (26:05):
So if you did this again, it might be a
different statement that you're gonna have up there. So yeah,
I love this.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
So that is one thing that I just wanted to
leave people with because I do think it's a really
good way to just like figure out where you're at
and what matters to you most. The next thing I
wanted to leave everyone with is I spoke a lot
with Victoria about contraction, and that's really the thing that
is going to block all the positive vibes that you
(26:30):
need coming your way. And it's like, if you're existing
in that state of contraction, it's gonna feel hard and
it's gonna feel really sticky. And so I just wanted
to share some of her ideas that she also goes
into in the book around how to break through that contraction.
And these, again are things that people can do today.
So I've just picked out five that I love. One
(26:52):
is talk back to your inner critic whenever it comes up,
turn up music that goes with your emotion and just
let it out, because, as Victoria says, I think she says,
emotions is energy in motion, So like using music to
move through that. Then of course move or work out,
go for a walk around the block, cry to someone
(27:14):
that you trust, and again just like feel through it.
And of course I think one probably a lot of
people do is write down what you're feeling and journal.
So if you're feeling like you're in that sticky place
at the moment, potentially things you could do right now
to kind of move through it.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
And the interesting part about this, Michelle is the line
that she has in the interview what.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Fires together, wires together? Is that what it was?
Speaker 5 (27:39):
Yeah, as you're listing these things to me, I'm thinking,
you know, I want to go and figure out the
science behind that, because I know all of these tips
that you're giving they're actually grounded in things that are
happening in your brain and your body, and there is
science sort of supporting why these things actually work, and.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Also finding the things that work specifically for you, Like
in her book, there's probably fifty of these things that
you can do to move through contraction. And like, what
works for me, what works for you, might not work
for someone else. So think about the things that like
you maybe do or you have access to, or like
it's an easy thing for you to do throughout the day,
(28:17):
and then to remain In expansion, she also has a
ton of ideas, so I just again group them into five.
So I've got a first five which are more like
written and thought based. So vision boarding, a time machine,
so write yourself a letter from one year into the future.
I actually did this on a health retreat once and
(28:37):
then they mailed it to everyone a year later. An Yes,
they're so good, very powerful. Yeah, and you kind of
remember it and so you're really like you want to
like make those promises to yourself. Positive self talk, just
writing yourself a note on a post it each morning.
Morning pages, So writing three pages of stream of consciousness
(29:01):
first thing, and then positive focus, so write ten highlights
from the week and then doubling down on what's working
and just use it to maintain momentum. And then outdoorsy
and relax. These are more chill, relaxing ones laughter. I
love that this is on there because it's like watch
a funny movie or be silly with someone. Like for me,
(29:23):
sometimes I just need to binge something and you can
feel like you're maybe not being that productive, but you
are creativity. So make something. I don't know if you're
into drawing, embroidery, whatever it is. Music, Listen to your
favorite album or playlist. Self care full permission to go
to a spa and then compliment. So offer a friend, colleague,
(29:44):
or loved one a compliment and receive their response, This is.
Speaker 5 (29:47):
Cool because it's like permission to do things that actually
make you feel good and not feeling guilty about that,
but being like this is actually helping me to get
into an expensive state and that's going to help me
get to where I want to go.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Yes, and we all need that. You can feel like
maybe you should be doing something like product, but it
is productive.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
The thing that came through and listening to you give
those lists of very practical things that people can do,
the thing that keeps coming back to me is this
word agency. And so you know, we talk about luck
as like something that happens to us, but I think
there's so much in what you're saying, this message and
the book and the interview around it's actually what you
do with that situation. And so this idea that you
(30:29):
have agency control what you can control. And then so
much of our reality is the perception that we're creating
based on whether we're validating or disproving these expectations that
we have and sort of how we're viewing things. So
I really love that there's a line that I actually
keep coming back to as well, which is you have
all the tools you need to change your life circumstances.
(30:51):
So I keep playing that out as like I have
everything that I need to actually change what I want
to change in my life. I don't think it's like
imagine anything you want and you can kind of manifest
that to happen. I don't think that's the point. I
think it's more like you can change your life and
you decide how you want it to change and where
you want it to change too, but that you have
the agency and to focus on what you can control.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
I love that so much, so especially that you have
the tools to change your life circumstances. I think sometimes
people use luck as a way to like undermine someone's
success or maybe that they had it easily as well.
And so I love when Victoria said that it's not
something that's given to you, like it's created. And I've
always felt like luck is a combination of timing and
(31:36):
opportunity colliding, and then it's really up to you to
take that and execute on it.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
I'm glad you call that timing, because I think timing
is a massive part of it, right, And if I
look back throughout my career, so many of the good
things happened because there was the right timing. But then
I also made the most of that opportunity by doing
a lot of the things that you actually talk about
in the episode today. This was massive, Michelle, there was
so much in here. I'm going to go and do
(32:02):
the values exercise and I think, are you going to
put a lot of this stuff in the newsletter so
people can sign up and make sure that they're getting
more of what you shared?
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah, definitely, this will all be in the newsletter, so
make sure you read it this week. I loved this.
I feel so lucky. Okay, So I hope everyone has
a very lucky weeke off the back of this. And please,
dm us, if you've ever had these law of attraction moments,
we would love to hear them. And doubly, dm US,
(32:31):
if you act on any of this and something comes
your way, we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
What I love most about this episode is how it
perfectly balances the practical with the spiritual. It's not just
about manifesting success, it's about creating the right energetic state
to actually receive it. For anyone wanting to dive deeper
into this topic, make sure you check out this week's
bus newsletter, where Michelle breaks down that incredible values exercise
(33:02):
step by step. There is a link in our show notes.
If you're loving these conversations about mindset and success, head
over to our Viz by Mama Mia on Instagram, where
we'll be sharing our daily doses of career inspiration and
behind the scenes moments with our guests. Mamma Mia acknowledges
(33:25):
the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
is recorded on
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