July 9, 2025 • 20 mins
Ever tried to show your sparkling personality through a pixelated Zoom screen while competing against people who get to charm their way through face-to-face interviews? This week we're tackling the art of nailing remote interviews when everyone else gets the home-field advantage of being actually present (rude, but okay).
Then we dive into every office worker's worst nightmare: waking up after the Christmas party with fuzzy memories and crystal-clear secondhand embarrassment. Spoiler alert: you're probably not the only one who went a bit too hard on the free bar, but we've got your damage control strategy sorted.
Plus, we're tackling that boss who dismisses diversity efforts as "box-ticking" and can't resist dropping "snowflake millennials" into every meeting. Newsflash: this is exactly why HR departments exist.
Welcome to BIZ Inbox, your go-to workplace advice podcast where awkward career questions get real-world solutions.
Got office politics nightmares or boss-from-hell situations? Send us a voice note or email us at podcast@mamamia.com.au. You can remain completely anonymous!
Resources That Actually Help:
Too Drunk At The Work Xmas Party? Here's What To Do!
SHOW MENTIONS:
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HOSTS: Sarah Davidson and Em Vernem
SENIOR PRODUCER: Sophie Campbell
AUDIO PRODUCER: Leah Porges
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to I'm Ama Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello and welcome to biz Inbox. I'm m Burnham and
think of these episodes like career therapy, but way less formal.
There's no names, no pressure, just your messiest work problem answered, and.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
The messier the better. We enjoy this so much. I'm
Sarah Davidson, a lawyer to and entrepreneur who's navigated everything
from corporate boardrooms to startup chaos. We are here to
get real about those workplace challenges that keep you up
at night and now keep us at night.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's a group project, guys, one hundred percent. I think
about you guys all the time. Twenty four seven. You're
in my dreams. If you are new here to biz Inbox,
this is where your professional dilemmas get solved with no
names attached. Like I mentioned before, so whether you're navigating
office dynamics or launching a side hustle, we have got
you covered and your identity can stay completely under wraps.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Today they were diving into Christmas party survival, specifically what
to do when you're the one who became the office
legend for all the wrong reasons. We've all heard a
Christmas party office legend or two. We are also tackling
how to deal with that colleague who turns every inappropriate
moment into their personal comedy show. But first, let's talk
(01:28):
about nailing your personality in a zoom interview where everyone
else gets to be there in person.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh this is so true because we got this question.
It was an anonymous person and it landed into our inbox,
and it said, I'm interviewing for jobs remotely because I
live in a different state, and I'm struggling to show
my personality and create that connection you get from meeting
face to face. How do I bring warmth and friendliness
through a screen when zoom interviews feel so stiff and formal.
(01:55):
I feel like my best qualities, like my sense of
humor and ability to build rapport, just don't translate over
video calls. What are some ways to make a memorable
impression and show my true self when I can't rely
on in person chemistry. Oh, this one's so hard.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh it's really tough, and I mean it can feel
like a really big disadvantage, but I would almost try
and flip it on its head. It's really hard when
you are in an interview situation where you're all the same, right,
Like they're sitting at a table and they've got a
line of people coming in and sitting down. If anything,
the fact that you are in a different format can
(02:33):
kind of give you a point a difference, Like it
might be a way for you to make your interview
more memorable because they had to do it in a
different format. So I think the first thing is don't
automatically assume it's going to be a disadvantage. Like I
think if you come at it from that perspective, you're
already feeling a bit doubtful, You're already worried about your
personality coming through, and then it closes you off. That
(02:54):
makes it even harder for you to shine. I think
sometimes the easiest way is just to pretend like it's
not happening, Like, just try as hard as you can,
just speak how you would. I mean, we do these
online and we build a rapport within like five minutes, Yeah, exactly.
And I think it's because you don't allow it to
become the big barrier that it can. You just try
and forget that that's even happening. So don't assume it's
(03:18):
all bad. You know, if Lockdown's taught us anything, it's
that you can learn how to let your personality shine
through a screen in a weird way one percent.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And to this person, I feel like, if you get
this job, which I'm hoping you do, you'll have to
do that anyway, because it's not like you're interviewing on
Zoom and then suddenly come into the office. Your whole
role will be remote, So you have to find a
way to let yourself just kind of take a seat
back and just like let you said one of your
best qualities is your sense of humor. You can absolutely
(03:47):
show your sense of humor through Zoom. Like me and
Sarah are the funniest people in the world, and we
show arms of humor. Guys can hear it through zoomen
all the time. It's really good. But I do understand
what you mean, Like I feel like when you're sitting
in like a little box and you can kind of
as a third party pick to yourself being seen by
these people, it is quite intimidating, especially if they're in
(04:09):
a meeting room and you know your face is filled
up the entire screen. But I will say that after COVID,
a lot of interviews do happen on Zoom, so you
won't be the only one. Like, yes, you might be
the only one who is working remotely, but I know
so many of my friends who have done interviews and
initially they are zoom interviews before they get met in person,
(04:31):
and I think it's just a new way of working.
I think more and more people are having zoom interviews
because it's just easier and more efficient. And if you're
working in a different job, you don't actually have to
like pop out and make that fake lie like I
have a dentist appointment, like you don't have to do
that anymore. You can just pop into a meeting room
and call on Zoom, so you won't be the only
(04:52):
person who will be interviewing on zoom, even if you
are the only person who will be working remotely. So
I just say lean in, because this will be your
whole job, so you may as well start off just
super super cheer and super super fun and just be
completely yourself because that's exactly what people are going to
want to see and exactly what you said, Sarah, I
(05:13):
feel like, don't already see it as a crux because
it's not like it could be quite endearing, have a
fun background. I love that I love seeing what people's
backgrounds are.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You have a talking point behind you, and that actually
brings me to like two practical tips that I would
give you if you're not used to creating chemistry online
because it is foreign for some people, if you haven't
been traditionally, you know, working remotely or chatting remotely like
EM and I do it every day, so it's not
a new thing for us. To relax. Perhaps before the interview,
(05:45):
do some FaceTime calls.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, friends, that's such a good idea.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, if you're used to the format, then it becomes
less stiff. Like if you're the stiffness, then it's you
who needs to learn to relax into it, maybe not
the person on the other end. So I would practice
with other zoom type calls. And then the other thing
is the environment where you set up your call is
also really important because I think sometimes it's harder for
you to relax into yourself if you've got your camera
(06:12):
set up and you're in your kitchen, like you're distracted,
you're not taking it seriously, like you're not sitting at
a desk. Are you dressed properly? Like, do choose where
you set up for that remote interview in a setting
where you do know, you feel your best, and so
for me, like I can only record these podcasts in
the room where I record my podcast because otherwise I
(06:34):
don't get in the zone of what I'm doing, and
there's too much around me to distract me, and it's
too familiar, and then I feel like I'm at home,
and that's weird having like my potential future boss in
this room with me. But choose your environment as well
in a way that helps you relax, and then that's
how you can help encourage your true self to come
out so true.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
And I also feel like you have exactly what you said, Sarah,
like you're in control of the environment, which is already
a one up from people who have to do in
person interviews. The scariest thing about an in person interview
is what if I'm going to be late because I
can't find the building. What if I'm wearing the wrong thing,
what if my hand shakes every time I go to
take a sip of water. Like, I feel like you
(07:15):
actually have a big one up from a lot of
people who will be doing in person interviews.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
One you'll be sitting in where you choose to sit,
so enjoy that good luck.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I hope you get the job you deserve it, and
make sure you have a really fun background. Check that personality. Okay,
The next question we have is one that I feel
(07:46):
like everyone has had a similar experience with. It's the
anxiety you get after a work event. We got this
dm to us on Instagram and they want to be
kept completely anonymous. They said, I made a huge mistake
at our work Christmas party. I got completely plastered and
apparently made quite the spectacle of myself. Go girl. The
details are fuzzy, but the secondhand embarrassment is real. I've
(08:10):
been at this company for three years and have a
good reputation, but I'm worried I've completely ruined it in
one night. What's the best way to rebuild trust with
my team and show that this was a one of mistake,
not who I really am professionally. Oh no, I'm getting
anxious just reading this.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Oh that's so hard. That is so hard because you've already,
like the factors, has already happened. It's so easy to
give advice about how not to get completely blasted and
make a fool of yourself. But if you've already done it,
My first port of call for damage control would be,
I mean it sounds like the details are fuzzy. You
need to know what those details are. So you can't
(08:53):
do damage control until you know exactly what kind of
spectacle you made of yourself. Like you don't know how
bad it is until you know what you did and
who you did it in front of. So I think,
like find a trusted source and like put together the
pieces of the story first. That is absolutely step one.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
That's exactly what I had in my notes, Like is
there a close friend in your workplace, I can give
you the honest like they need to be super honest
with you, in honest download of exactly what happened. And
I don't want to kick you while you're already down.
But I have made a full of myself at a
work function. I feel like I got away with it
because I was quite new to the business and quite young,
(09:33):
and I was just like this crazy little girl essentially.
But my rule of thumb is know your drink limit,
like know like how many drinks it can take for
you to get drunk and what kind of alcohol it is,
and then do two drinks less. So I always go
into every work function and now with my role, I
(09:53):
have a lot of work functions and I feel like
with sobriety and stuff, it has changed, Like people aren't
expecting you to drink all the time. But if you're
one of those people who does get get really nervous
in social situations, and you can kind of relax into it,
especially at work functions, with a champagne or two. Definitely
don't stop yourself from doing this. The last thing I
(10:15):
want is for you to completely change who you are
and get off the drinks because you're so so embarrassed,
like that is not the answer. But just know your
limit and then do two drinks less of that limit
because it will always always help you feel so much
better the next day. And I don't know, I feel
like with these situations it could be amplified. Like I
(10:38):
don't know how you heard because you said the details
are really fuzzy, but apparently you made it spectacle of yourself.
So someone did tell you that you made a spectacle
of yourself. I just want to know how much of
that is true, because especially with these office Christmas parties,
I guarantee you're not the only one who have pushed
it a little too far. There will definitely be a
handful of people who went a bit too hard, a
(11:00):
bit too far. So firstly, I don't really like that
this is the way you found out, no details, like
I think that's quite mean, a mean way to find
out about something you've done. But if there is someone
close to you in the workplace, just let them give
you an honest answer of exactly what happened and exactly
what you said, Sarah. Don't try to do damage control
(11:20):
before you actually know what happened, because it could completely
work the other way, where you just, I don't know,
send a company wide email apologizing you don't need to
be doing that. I would say, just find out what
you did that was so bad. If there was like
one person involved, a few people involved, take them out
to coffee, just be like, hey, I don't usually act
this way. I'm really sorry if I did anything that
(11:42):
made you uncomfortable. If you feel like you did act inappropriately,
like I do, think that requires a bit of a
sit down, a lunch. But if someone just said you
made a spectacle of yourself, I feel like they wouldn't
say that if something seriously happened. I feel like they
would say that if it was kind of a funny
little thing. So I feel like, don't be too hard
(12:04):
on yourself is what I want to say.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
One hundred percent. And I think, don't go and do
anything too drastic, like a company wide email, even.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
A company nothing requires a company wide email.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah nothing, nothing ever requires that. But I think find
out who saw, yeah, because you don't want to go
apologizing and doing damage control to people who didn't actually notice,
because then you're just drawing it to their attention when
you might have got away with it. So I feel like,
work out who was actually impacted and then go into
your damage control. And that could be anything from like
(12:36):
the full spectrum is anything from just laugh it off,
like there's something to be said about laughing at yourself
with other people kind of softens the blow. But if
you have done anything a little bit more reputation damaging,
then one hundred percent the coffee, sit down, upfront apology
and reflecting that, like you want to show that this
is a one off mistakes. Sometimes the easiest way to
(12:57):
do that is just to tell people ye to be
like guys, this is very uncharacteristic. We all know the
dangers of Christmas parties. I absolutely lost control I had
way too much fun, and I'm really sorry that I
showed up as a person that I didn't want to
show up as like the way that these sort of
events turn into you know, the story that gets handed
down in generations is if you ignore it, whereas if
(13:18):
you get in front of it and talk to the
people you need to talk to, then I don't know,
I feel like once you've addressed it, like people have
the chance to move on.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Whereas if you just don't acknowledge it ever and pretend
like it never happened, that's when it has a chance
to become the rumor mill. And then that's when you
lose control of the narrative. It's like control the narrative.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
So true, Ah, good luck. I know exactly what you're
feeling like right now, and it's the worst feeling, but
it doesn't last forever. Coming up next, workplace humor can
be a minefield. Someone's navigating that exact mess and they
emailed us for help. So this last question came in
(14:02):
through email from Jules and a little reminder. If you
want to any of your work dilemmas, career dilemmas, or
advice for anything, there is a link in our show notes,
and it's really really easy. You can have your name
on it, or you can be completely anonymous. So Jill says,
I need advice on a situation that's escalating. My team
(14:22):
leader regularly makes inappropriate comments in meetings. Last week, he
said our diversity initiative was just box ticking and made
a joke about snowflake millennials when someone raised concerns about
workplace culture. Our junior staff have mentioned feeling uncomfortable, but
no one wants to be the one to speak up.
How do I address this professionally when he holds so
much power over my career progression?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
That's so hard.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
This makes me so angry, Like this man needs to
be put in this.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Place because I feel like it would be quite common.
It would be quite common, yeah, but I feel like
the fear of someone in a position of power, There
is so much worry about them taking it out on
you if you do speak up by affecting your career progression.
That is a real concern for so many people. It
(15:10):
feels for you so much. That's really really difficult. But
I think that there are avenues available that aren't necessarily
confronting that person directly. Those avenues exist for a reason,
like HR departments are there for that reason.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I also had HR as my Literally I just had
the word HR firstly, and then I was like, that's it,
that's it, just HR full stop. But I will say
that no one person should hold power over your career.
Yes you have managers, Yes you have team leaders, but
they shouldn't be the and all of your career. And
if you feel that that is the way, then your
(15:47):
company isn't doing you justice, and like the setup is
completely wrong. So I will say that it might feel
like that he holds all that power, but he really shouldn't.
And if he does hold all the power, then one
hundred percent you need to speak to HR because colleagues,
their in position of powers, do have the responsibility to
(16:08):
make the workplace comfortable and safe, and he is one
hundred percent not doing that. And I do think that
this is a situation that needs to be escalated, especially
with saying words like snowflake millennials and I'm assuming you
are a millennial. That's like a direct hit like that
is like name calling. That is something that should never
happen in any workplace. Even speaking about diversity, initiatives like
(16:30):
just boxticking, even saying that he's not only making you uncomfortable,
but he's also going against the company's values, which just
makes him a bad employee and a coworker. And I
think HR their job is to make you feel safe
and comfortable and put it on them, like, it's not
your responsibility to teach someone how to behave in a workplace.
(16:53):
It's not yours at all. And I feel like, similar
to the junior staff, I would have been in that
position as well, where I would not have felt uncomfortable
to speak up. And I'm so lucky to have never
worked in a workplace where I've had to deal with
someone like this because I just feel like it's not
someone that people should be dealing with at all. And yeah,
it's such simple advice, and it is really scary, especially
(17:14):
when you're young and new to a team and you
just want everyone to just love their job and you're
feeling so uncomfortable. HR is the best point of contact,
and you just put all the balls in their court
because that's their job. It's their job to make you
feel comfortable and your colleagues to feel comfortable. But what
I will say is good luck, Like, it's so shit
to deal with shitty people, especially when you love your
(17:35):
job so much, and it can be really debilitating, Like
people like that do make you feel like you don't
want to show up to work anymore, or like continue
with this role and the easy way out would be
to look for another job. But I would say, before
you do that, which I know you're going to feel
like you want to do, how can you address it
in the workplace. And I'm sure HR would be super
(17:56):
receptive to this feedback and will do everything they can
to keep you in your position and deal with this person.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I feel for you so much though, because I know,
like in an ideal world you would be able to
speak up directly, but when they're your team leader, the
power dynamic is so unequal that it can feel really overwhelming.
So definitely HR. But I think also depending on the workplace,
there are sometimes other team leaders who are at a
similar level of seniority to the person who is making
(18:25):
the comments that you might have a better relationship with
that you might feel like you could be a little
bit more open with. And I know all of this
feels a bit like dobbing on somebody, but you don't
need to feel bad about that because you've been put
in this situation where you don't feel safe to talk
to them directly. So find an ally at a similar
level of seniority who can help you, even who can
(18:48):
help you decide what to do about it, because, yeah,
you don't have to do it alone. HR does sometimes
feel like a really big step, and sometimes it's overwhelming
to even be seen to walk into their office. So
maybe another team leader who you have a good relationship
with is another alternative, or if there's like a middle person,
like in law firms, there's often like your partner is
(19:08):
the top level of seeing already, but then there's like
senior associates in between, who are sort of a little
bit higher than the juniors but closer to leadership to
be able to help you at least navigate the situation.
You don't have to do it alone, is the main point.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, ah, good luck, Jills. I feel like just writing
in shows that you are so passionate about your job
and you really want this hurdle to be tackled, and
all power to you. I really really hope you get
what you want out of this situation. Thank you so
much for helping us clear the biz Inbox. If you
have a work question, please send it our way. You
(19:43):
will find a link to submit your questions in the
show notes. Tell us your name and story, or you
can remain completely anonymous. It is up to you, and.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
If you missed any of our episodes, just scroll back
in your feed. We'll be back in the biz Inbox
next week.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Bye bye, Mamma. Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land
and waters that this podcast is recorded on
You're listening to I'm Ama Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello and welcome to biz Inbox. I'm m Burnham and
think of these episodes like career therapy, but way less formal.
There's no names, no pressure, just your messiest work problem answered, and.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
The messier the better. We enjoy this so much. I'm
Sarah Davidson, a lawyer to and entrepreneur who's navigated everything
from corporate boardrooms to startup chaos. We are here to
get real about those workplace challenges that keep you up
at night and now keep us at night.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It's a group project, guys, one hundred percent. I think
about you guys all the time. Twenty four seven. You're
in my dreams. If you are new here to biz Inbox,
this is where your professional dilemmas get solved with no
names attached. Like I mentioned before, so whether you're navigating
office dynamics or launching a side hustle, we have got
you covered and your identity can stay completely under wraps.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Today they were diving into Christmas party survival, specifically what
to do when you're the one who became the office
legend for all the wrong reasons. We've all heard a
Christmas party office legend or two. We are also tackling
how to deal with that colleague who turns every inappropriate
moment into their personal comedy show. But first, let's talk
(01:28):
about nailing your personality in a zoom interview where everyone
else gets to be there in person.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh this is so true because we got this question.
It was an anonymous person and it landed into our inbox,
and it said, I'm interviewing for jobs remotely because I
live in a different state, and I'm struggling to show
my personality and create that connection you get from meeting
face to face. How do I bring warmth and friendliness
through a screen when zoom interviews feel so stiff and formal.
(01:55):
I feel like my best qualities, like my sense of
humor and ability to build rapport, just don't translate over
video calls. What are some ways to make a memorable
impression and show my true self when I can't rely
on in person chemistry. Oh, this one's so hard.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Oh it's really tough, and I mean it can feel
like a really big disadvantage, but I would almost try
and flip it on its head. It's really hard when
you are in an interview situation where you're all the same, right,
Like they're sitting at a table and they've got a
line of people coming in and sitting down. If anything,
the fact that you are in a different format can
(02:33):
kind of give you a point a difference, Like it
might be a way for you to make your interview
more memorable because they had to do it in a
different format. So I think the first thing is don't
automatically assume it's going to be a disadvantage. Like I
think if you come at it from that perspective, you're
already feeling a bit doubtful, You're already worried about your
personality coming through, and then it closes you off. That
(02:54):
makes it even harder for you to shine. I think
sometimes the easiest way is just to pretend like it's
not happening, Like, just try as hard as you can,
just speak how you would. I mean, we do these
online and we build a rapport within like five minutes, Yeah, exactly.
And I think it's because you don't allow it to
become the big barrier that it can. You just try
and forget that that's even happening. So don't assume it's
(03:18):
all bad. You know, if Lockdown's taught us anything, it's
that you can learn how to let your personality shine
through a screen in a weird way one percent.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And to this person, I feel like, if you get
this job, which I'm hoping you do, you'll have to
do that anyway, because it's not like you're interviewing on
Zoom and then suddenly come into the office. Your whole
role will be remote, So you have to find a
way to let yourself just kind of take a seat
back and just like let you said one of your
best qualities is your sense of humor. You can absolutely
(03:47):
show your sense of humor through Zoom. Like me and
Sarah are the funniest people in the world, and we
show arms of humor. Guys can hear it through zoomen
all the time. It's really good. But I do understand
what you mean, Like I feel like when you're sitting
in like a little box and you can kind of
as a third party pick to yourself being seen by
these people, it is quite intimidating, especially if they're in
(04:09):
a meeting room and you know your face is filled
up the entire screen. But I will say that after COVID,
a lot of interviews do happen on Zoom, so you
won't be the only one. Like, yes, you might be
the only one who is working remotely, but I know
so many of my friends who have done interviews and
initially they are zoom interviews before they get met in person,
(04:31):
and I think it's just a new way of working.
I think more and more people are having zoom interviews
because it's just easier and more efficient. And if you're
working in a different job, you don't actually have to
like pop out and make that fake lie like I
have a dentist appointment, like you don't have to do
that anymore. You can just pop into a meeting room
and call on Zoom, so you won't be the only
(04:52):
person who will be interviewing on zoom, even if you
are the only person who will be working remotely. So
I just say lean in, because this will be your
whole job, so you may as well start off just
super super cheer and super super fun and just be
completely yourself because that's exactly what people are going to
want to see and exactly what you said, Sarah, I
(05:13):
feel like, don't already see it as a crux because
it's not like it could be quite endearing, have a
fun background. I love that I love seeing what people's
backgrounds are.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You have a talking point behind you, and that actually
brings me to like two practical tips that I would
give you if you're not used to creating chemistry online
because it is foreign for some people, if you haven't
been traditionally, you know, working remotely or chatting remotely like
EM and I do it every day, so it's not
a new thing for us. To relax. Perhaps before the interview,
(05:45):
do some FaceTime calls.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, friends, that's such a good idea.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, if you're used to the format, then it becomes
less stiff. Like if you're the stiffness, then it's you
who needs to learn to relax into it, maybe not
the person on the other end. So I would practice
with other zoom type calls. And then the other thing
is the environment where you set up your call is
also really important because I think sometimes it's harder for
you to relax into yourself if you've got your camera
(06:12):
set up and you're in your kitchen, like you're distracted,
you're not taking it seriously, like you're not sitting at
a desk. Are you dressed properly? Like, do choose where
you set up for that remote interview in a setting
where you do know, you feel your best, and so
for me, like I can only record these podcasts in
the room where I record my podcast because otherwise I
(06:34):
don't get in the zone of what I'm doing, and
there's too much around me to distract me, and it's
too familiar, and then I feel like I'm at home,
and that's weird having like my potential future boss in
this room with me. But choose your environment as well
in a way that helps you relax, and then that's
how you can help encourage your true self to come
out so true.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
And I also feel like you have exactly what you said, Sarah,
like you're in control of the environment, which is already
a one up from people who have to do in
person interviews. The scariest thing about an in person interview
is what if I'm going to be late because I
can't find the building. What if I'm wearing the wrong thing,
what if my hand shakes every time I go to
take a sip of water. Like, I feel like you
(07:15):
actually have a big one up from a lot of
people who will be doing in person interviews.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
One you'll be sitting in where you choose to sit,
so enjoy that good luck.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I hope you get the job you deserve it, and
make sure you have a really fun background. Check that personality. Okay,
The next question we have is one that I feel
(07:46):
like everyone has had a similar experience with. It's the
anxiety you get after a work event. We got this
dm to us on Instagram and they want to be
kept completely anonymous. They said, I made a huge mistake
at our work Christmas party. I got completely plastered and
apparently made quite the spectacle of myself. Go girl. The
details are fuzzy, but the secondhand embarrassment is real. I've
(08:10):
been at this company for three years and have a
good reputation, but I'm worried I've completely ruined it in
one night. What's the best way to rebuild trust with
my team and show that this was a one of mistake,
not who I really am professionally. Oh no, I'm getting
anxious just reading this.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Oh that's so hard. That is so hard because you've already,
like the factors, has already happened. It's so easy to
give advice about how not to get completely blasted and
make a fool of yourself. But if you've already done it,
My first port of call for damage control would be,
I mean it sounds like the details are fuzzy. You
need to know what those details are. So you can't
(08:53):
do damage control until you know exactly what kind of
spectacle you made of yourself. Like you don't know how
bad it is until you know what you did and
who you did it in front of. So I think,
like find a trusted source and like put together the
pieces of the story first. That is absolutely step one.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
That's exactly what I had in my notes, Like is
there a close friend in your workplace, I can give
you the honest like they need to be super honest
with you, in honest download of exactly what happened. And
I don't want to kick you while you're already down.
But I have made a full of myself at a
work function. I feel like I got away with it
because I was quite new to the business and quite young,
(09:33):
and I was just like this crazy little girl essentially.
But my rule of thumb is know your drink limit,
like know like how many drinks it can take for
you to get drunk and what kind of alcohol it is,
and then do two drinks less. So I always go
into every work function and now with my role, I
(09:53):
have a lot of work functions and I feel like
with sobriety and stuff, it has changed, Like people aren't
expecting you to drink all the time. But if you're
one of those people who does get get really nervous
in social situations, and you can kind of relax into it,
especially at work functions, with a champagne or two. Definitely
don't stop yourself from doing this. The last thing I
(10:15):
want is for you to completely change who you are
and get off the drinks because you're so so embarrassed,
like that is not the answer. But just know your
limit and then do two drinks less of that limit
because it will always always help you feel so much
better the next day. And I don't know, I feel
like with these situations it could be amplified. Like I
(10:38):
don't know how you heard because you said the details
are really fuzzy, but apparently you made it spectacle of yourself.
So someone did tell you that you made a spectacle
of yourself. I just want to know how much of
that is true, because especially with these office Christmas parties,
I guarantee you're not the only one who have pushed
it a little too far. There will definitely be a
handful of people who went a bit too hard, a
(11:00):
bit too far. So firstly, I don't really like that
this is the way you found out, no details, like
I think that's quite mean, a mean way to find
out about something you've done. But if there is someone
close to you in the workplace, just let them give
you an honest answer of exactly what happened and exactly
what you said, Sarah. Don't try to do damage control
(11:20):
before you actually know what happened, because it could completely
work the other way, where you just, I don't know,
send a company wide email apologizing you don't need to
be doing that. I would say, just find out what
you did that was so bad. If there was like
one person involved, a few people involved, take them out
to coffee, just be like, hey, I don't usually act
this way. I'm really sorry if I did anything that
(11:42):
made you uncomfortable. If you feel like you did act inappropriately,
like I do, think that requires a bit of a
sit down, a lunch. But if someone just said you
made a spectacle of yourself, I feel like they wouldn't
say that if something seriously happened. I feel like they
would say that if it was kind of a funny
little thing. So I feel like, don't be too hard
(12:04):
on yourself is what I want to say.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
One hundred percent. And I think, don't go and do
anything too drastic, like a company wide email, even.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
A company nothing requires a company wide email.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah nothing, nothing ever requires that. But I think find
out who saw, yeah, because you don't want to go
apologizing and doing damage control to people who didn't actually notice,
because then you're just drawing it to their attention when
you might have got away with it. So I feel like,
work out who was actually impacted and then go into
your damage control. And that could be anything from like
(12:36):
the full spectrum is anything from just laugh it off,
like there's something to be said about laughing at yourself
with other people kind of softens the blow. But if
you have done anything a little bit more reputation damaging,
then one hundred percent the coffee, sit down, upfront apology
and reflecting that, like you want to show that this
is a one off mistakes. Sometimes the easiest way to
(12:57):
do that is just to tell people ye to be
like guys, this is very uncharacteristic. We all know the
dangers of Christmas parties. I absolutely lost control I had
way too much fun, and I'm really sorry that I
showed up as a person that I didn't want to
show up as like the way that these sort of
events turn into you know, the story that gets handed
down in generations is if you ignore it, whereas if
(13:18):
you get in front of it and talk to the
people you need to talk to, then I don't know,
I feel like once you've addressed it, like people have
the chance to move on.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Whereas if you just don't acknowledge it ever and pretend
like it never happened, that's when it has a chance
to become the rumor mill. And then that's when you
lose control of the narrative. It's like control the narrative.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
So true, Ah, good luck. I know exactly what you're
feeling like right now, and it's the worst feeling, but
it doesn't last forever. Coming up next, workplace humor can
be a minefield. Someone's navigating that exact mess and they
emailed us for help. So this last question came in
(14:02):
through email from Jules and a little reminder. If you
want to any of your work dilemmas, career dilemmas, or
advice for anything, there is a link in our show notes,
and it's really really easy. You can have your name
on it, or you can be completely anonymous. So Jill says,
I need advice on a situation that's escalating. My team
(14:22):
leader regularly makes inappropriate comments in meetings. Last week, he
said our diversity initiative was just box ticking and made
a joke about snowflake millennials when someone raised concerns about
workplace culture. Our junior staff have mentioned feeling uncomfortable, but
no one wants to be the one to speak up.
How do I address this professionally when he holds so
much power over my career progression?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
That's so hard.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
This makes me so angry, Like this man needs to
be put in this.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Place because I feel like it would be quite common.
It would be quite common, yeah, but I feel like
the fear of someone in a position of power, There
is so much worry about them taking it out on
you if you do speak up by affecting your career progression.
That is a real concern for so many people. It
(15:10):
feels for you so much. That's really really difficult. But
I think that there are avenues available that aren't necessarily
confronting that person directly. Those avenues exist for a reason,
like HR departments are there for that reason.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I also had HR as my Literally I just had
the word HR firstly, and then I was like, that's it,
that's it, just HR full stop. But I will say
that no one person should hold power over your career.
Yes you have managers, Yes you have team leaders, but
they shouldn't be the and all of your career. And
if you feel that that is the way, then your
(15:47):
company isn't doing you justice, and like the setup is
completely wrong. So I will say that it might feel
like that he holds all that power, but he really shouldn't.
And if he does hold all the power, then one
hundred percent you need to speak to HR because colleagues,
their in position of powers, do have the responsibility to
(16:08):
make the workplace comfortable and safe, and he is one
hundred percent not doing that. And I do think that
this is a situation that needs to be escalated, especially
with saying words like snowflake millennials and I'm assuming you
are a millennial. That's like a direct hit like that
is like name calling. That is something that should never
happen in any workplace. Even speaking about diversity, initiatives like
(16:30):
just boxticking, even saying that he's not only making you uncomfortable,
but he's also going against the company's values, which just
makes him a bad employee and a coworker. And I
think HR their job is to make you feel safe
and comfortable and put it on them, like, it's not
your responsibility to teach someone how to behave in a workplace.
(16:53):
It's not yours at all. And I feel like, similar
to the junior staff, I would have been in that
position as well, where I would not have felt uncomfortable
to speak up. And I'm so lucky to have never
worked in a workplace where I've had to deal with
someone like this because I just feel like it's not
someone that people should be dealing with at all. And yeah,
it's such simple advice, and it is really scary, especially
(17:14):
when you're young and new to a team and you
just want everyone to just love their job and you're
feeling so uncomfortable. HR is the best point of contact,
and you just put all the balls in their court
because that's their job. It's their job to make you
feel comfortable and your colleagues to feel comfortable. But what
I will say is good luck, Like, it's so shit
to deal with shitty people, especially when you love your
(17:35):
job so much, and it can be really debilitating, Like
people like that do make you feel like you don't
want to show up to work anymore, or like continue
with this role and the easy way out would be
to look for another job. But I would say, before
you do that, which I know you're going to feel
like you want to do, how can you address it
in the workplace. And I'm sure HR would be super
(17:56):
receptive to this feedback and will do everything they can
to keep you in your position and deal with this person.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I feel for you so much though, because I know,
like in an ideal world you would be able to
speak up directly, but when they're your team leader, the
power dynamic is so unequal that it can feel really overwhelming.
So definitely HR. But I think also depending on the workplace,
there are sometimes other team leaders who are at a
similar level of seniority to the person who is making
(18:25):
the comments that you might have a better relationship with
that you might feel like you could be a little
bit more open with. And I know all of this
feels a bit like dobbing on somebody, but you don't
need to feel bad about that because you've been put
in this situation where you don't feel safe to talk
to them directly. So find an ally at a similar
level of seniority who can help you, even who can
(18:48):
help you decide what to do about it, because, yeah,
you don't have to do it alone. HR does sometimes
feel like a really big step, and sometimes it's overwhelming
to even be seen to walk into their office. So
maybe another team leader who you have a good relationship
with is another alternative, or if there's like a middle person,
like in law firms, there's often like your partner is
(19:08):
the top level of seeing already, but then there's like
senior associates in between, who are sort of a little
bit higher than the juniors but closer to leadership to
be able to help you at least navigate the situation.
You don't have to do it alone, is the main point.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, ah, good luck, Jills. I feel like just writing
in shows that you are so passionate about your job
and you really want this hurdle to be tackled, and
all power to you. I really really hope you get
what you want out of this situation. Thank you so
much for helping us clear the biz Inbox. If you
have a work question, please send it our way. You
(19:43):
will find a link to submit your questions in the
show notes. Tell us your name and story, or you
can remain completely anonymous. It is up to you, and.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
If you missed any of our episodes, just scroll back
in your feed. We'll be back in the biz Inbox
next week.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Bye bye, Mamma. Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land
and waters that this podcast is recorded on
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