August 13, 2025 • 20 mins
Workplace oversharing making you cringe? Your messy ex just applied to work at your company? And someone definitely overheard you venting about colleagues to your husband?
This week, we're tackling the most awkward workplace situations that have you lying awake at 3am wondering how to fix them. We decode the delicate art of telling a colleague they share way too much personal information, reveal what to do when your romantic history collides with your professional life, and share the exact words to use when your private conversation becomes very public.
What you'll discover:
• The Oversharer's Dilemma: How to address a colleague who won't stop talking about their period and sex life without becoming the office prude
• The Ex-Files: Real strategies for when your messy breakup threatens to invade your workplace (plus Em's brutal confession about sabotaging an ex's job application)
• The Overheard Conversation: Exactly what to say when someone catches you venting about work to your spouse
• The Boundary Setting Masterclass: Why reading the room is everything and how different workplaces have wildly different tolerance levels
• The Awkwardness Antidote: Why addressing uncomfortable situations head-on is always better than letting them fester
Welcome to BIZ Inbox, your go-to workplace advice podcast where awkward career questions get real-world solutions.
Got office politics nightmares or boss-from-hell situations? Send us a voice note or email us at podcast@mamamia.com.au. You can remain completely anonymous!
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HOSTS: Sarah Davidson and Em Vernem
SENIOR PRODUCER: Sophie Campbell
AUDIO PRODUCER: Leah Porges
BIZ UPDATE:
Sarah Davidson has been sharing her career wisdom with us, and now she's officially here to stay. She's joining BIZ Inbox full-time as co-host alongside Em Vernem and honestly, we couldn't be more excited.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to Amma mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello, and welcome back to Biz Inbox. I'm m Vernham
and this is your safe space for all of those
career questions and workplace situations that have you completely stumped.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And I'm Sarah Davidson bringing my lawyer turned entrepreneur perspective
to help you navigate whatever has landed in your work
life this week. We adore your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
We love your questions, and same rules as always, you
can be completely anonymous if you choose to do so.
We're not going to air your dirty laundry. I mean
we will, we just won't say just anonymously, just anonymously.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So from office politics to career crossroads to managers who
clearly need a reality check, no names, no judgment, just
real solutions and am Today we're tackling some very awkward workplace.
We've got a really good episode today and we love awkwardness. Yes,
we thrive in this. We've got a question about a
colleague who's sharing way too much personal information and making
(01:11):
everyone uncomfortable. The colleague may be me, Sarah. I'm just saying,
couldn't put your name on this in reverse since like
it's been submitted against me. Plus, what do you do
when your messy X applies for a job at your workplace?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I have a personal story that I can talk to
about that.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
This is just us, this whole episode, and later we're
dealing with the fallout from when a private conversation becomes
very public. Everyone's works night, man. But first, m you
got a question about workplace boundaries that's going to hit
a real nerve.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
So Leanne messaged this into us and she says, I
work in a small team and one of my colleagues
constantly overshares about her period and sex life during meetings
and lunch breaks twenty four seven. It makes she sounds
very fun, it makes everyone uncomfortable, but she doesn't seem
to pick up on the social cues. How do I
(02:01):
address this without being the office prude? I don't want
to shame her, but it's a affecting team dynamics.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
This is such a hard one because I feel like
in some team environments it's highly encouraged. And by some
team dynamics, I mean me, where the team is me
and myself talking about like I am sharing my discharge
consistency with people, well, you know, like that's the way
that I am bonding with people that's you and I
(02:27):
I feel.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Quite alarmed with this question because I generally think this
is one of my colleagues me.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
But that is really difficult because the threshold in different
workplaces is really different.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, And I think what I found really hard was
like coming from Mumamea, because I did work at a
different place in between my roles here at Muma Mia,
and it was a very different work situation as in,
like the culture was a bit different. Everyone was still
really really nice and welcoming. The big thing was I
was working with a lot of men, like.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Older men, so you're not having vagina shore.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
No and like Mama Mia, like someone asked you, how's
your day, I'm like, oh, I've got my period.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And then I'm like oh so I'm like yeah, it
really sucks.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, And they're like, here's a heat pack and here's
all my strategies.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And then I was going into this new environment. But
I think it's one of those situations where you just
literally read the room. You know exactly when you can share,
when you can't, and you can share too, and who
you can't share too. And it just seems like that
this colleague isn't across that at all.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, I'm just so pro when you have a really
good rapport with your colleagues that you can share your
personal stuff as well. But I do think it sounds
like for Leanne the overshare is the odd one out,
Like it sounds like it is affecting everyone around her,
and I think in that situation, perhaps it is a
gentle intervention of if she's not picking up that everyone's
(03:48):
visibly uncomfortable, someone probably does need to just pull her
aside and say, in some teams or maybe previous teams,
maybe she did come from a workplace like mumay or
where it was openly encouraged. But I think someone possibly
does need to sit her down and just say, yeah,
maybe our team isn't quite as for that level of
personal information because it isn't appropriate in every workplace.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It's not. Oh just even like I think something as
simple as when she does tell those stories or talks
about it, like no one reacts like just stay silent
and let her figure it out on her own, because
there's no way that you would just keep going.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Surely, yeah, if everyone wasn't like although I'm also on
my period, although it also says she doesn't seem to
pick up on the social cues.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh yeah, I think you're right then.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And then I think you kind of as a team
have to nominate who she'll take it from the best,
like find out.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I feel like Leanne knows exactly who will be, and
it's going to be.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think it's Leanne saying please tell me. I don't
have to be intervene telling.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Me to talk to me. How do I do it?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I think that probably is the best solution. Oh, that's
so hard, because you also don't want to make someone
who feels really comfortable around you then feel like they
can't share anything. But it is hard when you know
everyone's tolerance for bodily fluids is different.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Just I even like saying like break it down even
more like come at it from a place concern, saying, hey,
is there someone else you can talk to about this stuff,
like outside of work hours. I just want to make
sure you feel like you're outlet. Yeah, you have an outlet,
Like just come from a place of concern.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I had this conversation with a girlfriend the other day
and she had had like quite a serious issue of bleeding,
and she did feel like she could say that that
was why she was late, and because of that, her
lateness wasn't interpreted as a lack of care or a
lack of professionalism. But I feel like if you can't
share those things, it might restrain you, you know what I mean,
(05:39):
Like you'd be so worried that if people didn't know
the real reason. Oh, Leanne, I don't envy you. That
is a really difficult situation.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, good luck, good luck, little intervention. Yeah, care little
bit hard, You'll be fine. Yeah, Okay, our next question
is anonymous and it rings very true to home. That's
just all I have to say.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So, can you like get out of our inbox and.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Leave the room. I need your advice.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Just call me out of hours.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
We thrive off burno culture. Okay, so we got this.
This isn't I promise, this isn't me, but I can relate.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So it's your wheelhouse, this is my Wheelsay.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
My ex boyfriend just applied for a job at my company,
same department, and we've been working closely together. Our breakup
was messy, and I'm worried it could seriously impact my
performance and workplace relationships. Do I need to tell my
manager about our history. I don't want to seem unprofessional,
but I'm genuinely concerned about how this could affect my career.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
What did you do?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Okay, So I have a friend actually who was in
this position. Came to a girl's dinner one night and
she was absolutely spiraling. She's like, my ex has applied
to work for my company. I am freaking freaking out.
She was freaking out for a really long time. And
then eventually he didn't get the job. So it was fine.
But I was in a similar position where I had
(07:03):
an ex reaching out saying, hey, so this position has
opened up at Muma Mea, as you know, it's in
my wheelhouse, Like it seems like a really great career opportunity.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I like that he consulted you.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
He did consult me. I have a feeling, knowing the
type of person he was, he didn't really matter.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, at least he had a heads up.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, I had a heads up. He was like, this
is like my career part, just wanting to know does
this role work really closely with you? And would have
been an issue if I applied for the job and
I messaged him back and I was like, hey, so
good to hear from you. This is such a cool role.
Oh my god, yes you should one hundred percent apply.
I think like this will be perfect for you. And
(07:46):
then I went and told, h don't hire this man.
I couldn't. Wow, Yeah, I'm a bitch, But first I
got I have five years on that man.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
You know what, You've got to protect your environment. You've
worked so hard to be here, and this is my protector.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
This is my safe space, like this is my wheelhouse.
I can't have history. I even like am so specific.
If I have like close friends who want to apply
for certain roles here, I am.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Just sabotage them.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I don't sabotage them, but I am quite honest with
my friends and being like like i'd rather you didn't.
And if I know it's a close friend who would
actually be like well suited for this role and we'd
get on professionally, then I be like, yes, of course
you'd be amazing at this role. But I have like
grown into this space and I am such like an
emotional person. And some breakups do really affect you, like
(08:38):
affect your whole life.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Oh most of them.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I just couldn't imagine this guy who was my ex
who we ended on really really bad terms. And just
because it was like a few years before he messaged
me didn't make those feelings suddenly go away. I knew
that I could not stay in this role with him
also being here.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
You don't owe him.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, I would be like be able to do this job.
And he wasn't actually qualified for the role anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, so you didn't feel bad you were. I didn't
feel that you weren't. I candidate I.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
By myself, but he actually wasn't qualified for the role
at all. My number one piece of advice for people
when they're dating is don't date within your industry. It
happens the amount of exes I run into at like
events and things like that, and I haven't even dated
that many of them. They're just there all the time,
and now they're going to be in my life for
(09:28):
like the rest of my career.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And it's so hard because that's what makes part of
the relationship easier is they do understand your industry, and
it means you have common ground, which is why it
happens so often. But it does make the X thing
really difficult. Yeah, Like it sounds like this person's ex
hasn't got the job yet. They've just applied.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And it also this ex boyfriend looks like they didn't
give you a heads up about applying for the company.
I think you should tell you don't do what I did,
where like completely like wasted this time and made him apply. Like,
don't sabotage that way. Because I was I was very
very young, and I was I was a.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Week younger than I right now, it was yesterday.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I was completely acting on emotion and acting on rage,
and I was very very an angry bit of person.
But I would just honestly, if they reach out to you,
just be honest, be like, I don't know if this
is going to work out, or just have an honest
conversation with your manager or your HR department and be like,
this is a situation. I genuinely don't think I'll be
able to perform to the level I have been performing
(10:28):
if this person is also working here.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, I think that's excellent advice. If you don't want
to tell your manager, I don't think you have to,
but it sounds like you would like them to have context,
and I don't think it does seem unprofessional. I mean
the way that you say it is important. As long
as you don't run in there crying. But I think
you can give context and just say, look, it will
really affect my ability to do my role.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And I don't think their career.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
No, that's the risk.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
We're dating. Like you will date people that might be
in your world and you have to like avoid that
certain part of your world. But when you're first of roles,
and I was thinking about this ex partner I had,
there's no way, no matter how good the job was,
would I ever apply for a company that he was
working out. There's no way I was. So the fact
that he did it, knowing that we ended so badly
(11:17):
was just a whole which such a weird thing to do.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
He wants you back clearly, and.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Now we're married, and now we're getting married and we're
living happily ever after.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
But I also don't think you'll seem unprofessional if you
explain it the way you've mentioned, if you go in
and say I hate him, I just never want him
to get ahead. Yes, you could seem unprofessional depending on
how you conduct the conversation, but I think if you
explain it in terms of a performance impact, it will
sound very reasonable.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, I'm here now, and then I'm going to drop
down here. Yeah, yeah, okay. Our next question came from Emma,
and she dmd US. She said, I was having a
private phone call with my husband in what I thought
was an empty office then about work stress and some
(12:07):
frustrating colleagues. Turns out someone was there and definitely heard everything.
Now I'm paranoid about how this might affect my relationships
at work and whether it could impact my job security.
How do I handle this awkward situation?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Do you know what this reminds me of? This is
a real life example of when someone sends their friend
a post on Instagram that they want to have a
good yap about, but they accidentally send it to the person.
That's exactly what this is for the real life, and
it's like everyone's worst nightmare. I'm mortified thinking of what
(12:43):
you felt when you like the hairs on your neck
when you realize someone was listening. That's awful.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I've sent a guy once a screenshot of the conversation
I was having with him.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
With commentary or just to screenshots.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
I just went the screenshot before I realized what happened,
and he was just like, who was I meant to
go to?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I mean, obviously yeah, Oh, that's so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's so bad.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
It's so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I've been on the other side of that where I've
heard a conversation that I probably shouldn't have heard because
I was just like at my desk, not in mum
and me. I was in a different job. My desk
was like in this way where it was kind of
blocked off and they had like these big partitions. And
I heard a colleague bitch to another colleague about a
(13:28):
project that all of us were working on, and they
were just going in and in. Thank god my name
wasn't mentioned, because then that would have been way more awkward.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
But it just like hello, yeah, but I was so
new that, like.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I had no idea about any office drama, so this
was like my inn. I was getting really excited and
then currency and then I left and I was just
like bye, guys, have a good night, and their faces
just drop.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's actually mortifying.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I feel like, if you weren't talking about that specific colleague,
it could be fine. Like a lot of people who
overhear these conversations love it, but they just love it
for themselves and they're just like, that was so funny
that I overheard that, and they might like tell their husband.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Or yeah, like they're probably not going to go job
on you to a lot of managers, A.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Lot of people are way more chill than we give
them credit for. So I wouldn't be super super stressed
out about that unless you're talking about them, which I
don't think you were. But if you are stressed, I
don't know, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
It sounds like you know who it was? Yeah, And
I think depending on your relationship with them, it's really
hard if you're not on good terms because then there's
all the paranoia about how they're going to use it
and what the who they're going to tell. But I
think often they might even share the grievances that you have,
and if they agree with you, like maybe they won't
(14:45):
pass it on. But I think again, and this is
like coming from someone who really avoids upfront conversations. My
advice is so often just get ahead of it, however,
an honest conversation. But I do think just chat to
them and say, I really shouldn't have had that conversation
with my husband in public. I was just venting. I
was frustrated. I should have known better than to do
it in the workplace. But you know, we all vent
(15:06):
to our personal relationships. It wasn't to another colleague.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That's what I mean. It's actually better that you were
your husband than not to like another colleague.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, so I think just say like, he doesn't know
any of you. I was just blowing off steam like
we all do. I'd really appreciate your discretion. I think
most people will take that pretty well. Yeah, unless it
was about them.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I don't think it was. I think they would have
said I think Emma would have said that it was
about the person.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And I think also like the way that the question
was worded is how do I handle this awkward situation?
The worst thing you could do for awkwardness is let
it fester. Yeah, like it's to not handle it and
just pretend like it never happened, because then you'll constantly
wonder what are they thinking? Who have they told? Were
they going to do about it? But if you sit
down with them, if they go I totally agree, you're
going to feel relief and you're going to go I'm fine.
(15:49):
You can move on with them the coffee, just be like, yeah,
that was riberary babe bribery. Get him a biscuit, get
him a cross on or something nice. Another thing that's
really useful to do if you want to address the situation.
This is in the instagram situation. If someone sends you yeah,
(16:11):
you just reply and say what did you mean by that?
Because sometimes they might not even realize they've.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Done it, and especially if it's a man, because they
really don't realize.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
That they have no idea. They are so clueless. Because
it happened to me in a slightly different situation. We
hadn't had Teddy yet, but we were in that prime
being married for a while. Everyone's waiting for the baby news,
and like, that's a Wholiday episode on whether you should
ask people if they're trying for kids or when they're
gonna have kids.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yes, send us your dilemmas about kids in the workplace.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
And maternity leave and last I need to do a
whole episode on that. But I obviously was looking a
little bit tubs because someone just sent me my story
saying she's definitely pregnant. Just another thing that she's not
going to shut up about. Now.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Wait, was this like a follower like a friend, It.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Was like a non follower who obviously seen it. Yeah,
I think they meant to send it to someone who
is a follower or a recently unfollower, because they maybe
didn't want to hear about me. Yeah, about the pregnant
I was not wrong. Maybe they've seen a lot of fries.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Maybe they freaked out and didn't know how to like
undo the situation, so they just unfollowed you.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Well, so I replied, what did you say? Kind of
the polite equivalent of what did you mean by that?
But I clarified and I was like, actually, we're not pregnant.
We had just had a loss, which was even worse.
So I was like, just so you know, for context.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
You know that person's going to think about this situation,
one of which is why I was kind. Other situations
they're going to wake up at three am and all
be in their mind.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
So I was really kind because I was like, I
am mortified. I would not have been kind, but I
was firm. I was like, just so you know, I
did see this. We aren't we were, but we're no longer.
But I would hope that people who are.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Perceiving the comment on women's bodies, this is crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I mean I was pretty voted. Well. She wasn't commenting though,
because she was sending it privately, you know what I mean.
It wasn't meant for me, so I was trying to
like it. I would hope that when the beautiful news
is shared that people would love to hear me not
shut up about it and then just left it and
then I never go anything back.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
She would have been mortified.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I hope she's listening to this right now. No, I
don't actually, Oh my god, no.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
We'll tager. This was probably one of my favorite episodes.
Really so juicy.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Mine was met by Mom and Mia.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Thank my Mom and Maya. Okay, thank you so much
for helping us clear another in box keep sending us
to your workplace dilemmas, whether it's office drama or any
career pivots. You want to do, the juicier the better.
You can remain completely anonymous if you choose to do so.
There will be a link in our show notes for
you to tap.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
And you, guys know, we want to hear the juicy
are the better. Also, the smellier the better. So if
there's like a spmella about there's a specific story about
the person who microwaves fish in the break room, or
like brings boiled eggs, or like just themselves emanates a
scent that's generally unsocial. Put your name to it if
(18:58):
you're feeling bold, although I stay anonymous as the mentioned.
But all of our past episodes are also ready and
waiting in your feet if you need to catch up
on our workplace wisdom, because we're clocking up some good.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I actually do have a confession off the back of
that stop. I once warmed up in microwave anthrovis mackerel.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
You, Oh you're that girl, I think just guy stinky fish.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I love fish so much.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I love fish too, but it's like.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
But it's so worth it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I don't know, but tune in a tin is way
less smelly than like microwaved fish. Choose the form factor
of the fish in a social manner and think of
other people for once. It's not all about you, Okay
it is. We'll be back next week with fresh career
(19:44):
chaos to untangle, and the juiciness of that will depend
on what you guys send in.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
So then bye bye, Mamma.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that
this podcast is recorded on
You're listening to Amma mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello, and welcome back to Biz Inbox. I'm m Vernham
and this is your safe space for all of those
career questions and workplace situations that have you completely stumped.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And I'm Sarah Davidson bringing my lawyer turned entrepreneur perspective
to help you navigate whatever has landed in your work
life this week. We adore your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
We love your questions, and same rules as always, you
can be completely anonymous if you choose to do so.
We're not going to air your dirty laundry. I mean
we will, we just won't say just anonymously, just anonymously.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So from office politics to career crossroads to managers who
clearly need a reality check, no names, no judgment, just
real solutions and am Today we're tackling some very awkward workplace.
We've got a really good episode today and we love awkwardness. Yes,
we thrive in this. We've got a question about a
colleague who's sharing way too much personal information and making
(01:11):
everyone uncomfortable. The colleague may be me, Sarah. I'm just saying,
couldn't put your name on this in reverse since like
it's been submitted against me. Plus, what do you do
when your messy X applies for a job at your workplace?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I have a personal story that I can talk to
about that.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
This is just us, this whole episode, and later we're
dealing with the fallout from when a private conversation becomes
very public. Everyone's works night, man. But first, m you
got a question about workplace boundaries that's going to hit
a real nerve.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
So Leanne messaged this into us and she says, I
work in a small team and one of my colleagues
constantly overshares about her period and sex life during meetings
and lunch breaks twenty four seven. It makes she sounds
very fun, it makes everyone uncomfortable, but she doesn't seem
to pick up on the social cues. How do I
(02:01):
address this without being the office prude? I don't want
to shame her, but it's a affecting team dynamics.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
This is such a hard one because I feel like
in some team environments it's highly encouraged. And by some
team dynamics, I mean me, where the team is me
and myself talking about like I am sharing my discharge
consistency with people, well, you know, like that's the way
that I am bonding with people that's you and I
(02:27):
I feel.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Quite alarmed with this question because I generally think this
is one of my colleagues me.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
But that is really difficult because the threshold in different
workplaces is really different.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, And I think what I found really hard was
like coming from Mumamea, because I did work at a
different place in between my roles here at Muma Mia,
and it was a very different work situation as in,
like the culture was a bit different. Everyone was still
really really nice and welcoming. The big thing was I
was working with a lot of men, like.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Older men, so you're not having vagina shore.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
No and like Mama Mia, like someone asked you, how's
your day, I'm like, oh, I've got my period.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And then I'm like oh so I'm like yeah, it
really sucks.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, And they're like, here's a heat pack and here's
all my strategies.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And then I was going into this new environment. But
I think it's one of those situations where you just
literally read the room. You know exactly when you can share,
when you can't, and you can share too, and who
you can't share too. And it just seems like that
this colleague isn't across that at all.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, I'm just so pro when you have a really
good rapport with your colleagues that you can share your
personal stuff as well. But I do think it sounds
like for Leanne the overshare is the odd one out,
Like it sounds like it is affecting everyone around her,
and I think in that situation, perhaps it is a
gentle intervention of if she's not picking up that everyone's
(03:48):
visibly uncomfortable, someone probably does need to just pull her
aside and say, in some teams or maybe previous teams,
maybe she did come from a workplace like mumay or
where it was openly encouraged. But I think someone possibly
does need to sit her down and just say, yeah,
maybe our team isn't quite as for that level of
personal information because it isn't appropriate in every workplace.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It's not. Oh just even like I think something as
simple as when she does tell those stories or talks
about it, like no one reacts like just stay silent
and let her figure it out on her own, because
there's no way that you would just keep going.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Surely, yeah, if everyone wasn't like although I'm also on
my period, although it also says she doesn't seem to
pick up on the social cues.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh yeah, I think you're right then.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And then I think you kind of as a team
have to nominate who she'll take it from the best,
like find out.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I feel like Leanne knows exactly who will be, and
it's going to be.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think it's Leanne saying please tell me. I don't
have to be intervene telling.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Me to talk to me. How do I do it?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I think that probably is the best solution. Oh, that's
so hard, because you also don't want to make someone
who feels really comfortable around you then feel like they
can't share anything. But it is hard when you know
everyone's tolerance for bodily fluids is different.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Just I even like saying like break it down even
more like come at it from a place concern, saying, hey,
is there someone else you can talk to about this stuff,
like outside of work hours. I just want to make
sure you feel like you're outlet. Yeah, you have an outlet,
Like just come from a place of concern.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I had this conversation with a girlfriend the other day
and she had had like quite a serious issue of bleeding,
and she did feel like she could say that that
was why she was late, and because of that, her
lateness wasn't interpreted as a lack of care or a
lack of professionalism. But I feel like if you can't
share those things, it might restrain you, you know what I mean,
(05:39):
Like you'd be so worried that if people didn't know
the real reason. Oh, Leanne, I don't envy you. That
is a really difficult situation.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, good luck, good luck, little intervention. Yeah, care little
bit hard, You'll be fine. Yeah, Okay, our next question
is anonymous and it rings very true to home. That's
just all I have to say.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So, can you like get out of our inbox and.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Leave the room. I need your advice.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Just call me out of hours.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
We thrive off burno culture. Okay, so we got this.
This isn't I promise, this isn't me, but I can relate.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So it's your wheelhouse, this is my Wheelsay.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
My ex boyfriend just applied for a job at my company,
same department, and we've been working closely together. Our breakup
was messy, and I'm worried it could seriously impact my
performance and workplace relationships. Do I need to tell my
manager about our history. I don't want to seem unprofessional,
but I'm genuinely concerned about how this could affect my career.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
What did you do?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Okay, So I have a friend actually who was in
this position. Came to a girl's dinner one night and
she was absolutely spiraling. She's like, my ex has applied
to work for my company. I am freaking freaking out.
She was freaking out for a really long time. And
then eventually he didn't get the job. So it was fine.
But I was in a similar position where I had
(07:03):
an ex reaching out saying, hey, so this position has
opened up at Muma Mea, as you know, it's in
my wheelhouse, Like it seems like a really great career opportunity.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I like that he consulted you.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
He did consult me. I have a feeling, knowing the
type of person he was, he didn't really matter.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, at least he had a heads up.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, I had a heads up. He was like, this
is like my career part, just wanting to know does
this role work really closely with you? And would have
been an issue if I applied for the job and
I messaged him back and I was like, hey, so
good to hear from you. This is such a cool role.
Oh my god, yes you should one hundred percent apply.
I think like this will be perfect for you. And
(07:46):
then I went and told, h don't hire this man.
I couldn't. Wow, Yeah, I'm a bitch, But first I
got I have five years on that man.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
You know what, You've got to protect your environment. You've
worked so hard to be here, and this is my protector.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
This is my safe space, like this is my wheelhouse.
I can't have history. I even like am so specific.
If I have like close friends who want to apply
for certain roles here, I am.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Just sabotage them.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I don't sabotage them, but I am quite honest with
my friends and being like like i'd rather you didn't.
And if I know it's a close friend who would
actually be like well suited for this role and we'd
get on professionally, then I be like, yes, of course
you'd be amazing at this role. But I have like
grown into this space and I am such like an
emotional person. And some breakups do really affect you, like
(08:38):
affect your whole life.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Oh most of them.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I just couldn't imagine this guy who was my ex
who we ended on really really bad terms. And just
because it was like a few years before he messaged
me didn't make those feelings suddenly go away. I knew
that I could not stay in this role with him
also being here.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
You don't owe him.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, I would be like be able to do this job.
And he wasn't actually qualified for the role anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, so you didn't feel bad you were. I didn't
feel that you weren't. I candidate I.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
By myself, but he actually wasn't qualified for the role
at all. My number one piece of advice for people
when they're dating is don't date within your industry. It
happens the amount of exes I run into at like
events and things like that, and I haven't even dated
that many of them. They're just there all the time,
and now they're going to be in my life for
(09:28):
like the rest of my career.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
And it's so hard because that's what makes part of
the relationship easier is they do understand your industry, and
it means you have common ground, which is why it
happens so often. But it does make the X thing
really difficult. Yeah, Like it sounds like this person's ex
hasn't got the job yet. They've just applied.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And it also this ex boyfriend looks like they didn't
give you a heads up about applying for the company.
I think you should tell you don't do what I did,
where like completely like wasted this time and made him apply. Like,
don't sabotage that way. Because I was I was very
very young, and I was I was a.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Week younger than I right now, it was yesterday.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I was completely acting on emotion and acting on rage,
and I was very very an angry bit of person.
But I would just honestly, if they reach out to you,
just be honest, be like, I don't know if this
is going to work out, or just have an honest
conversation with your manager or your HR department and be like,
this is a situation. I genuinely don't think I'll be
able to perform to the level I have been performing
(10:28):
if this person is also working here.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, I think that's excellent advice. If you don't want
to tell your manager, I don't think you have to,
but it sounds like you would like them to have context,
and I don't think it does seem unprofessional. I mean
the way that you say it is important. As long
as you don't run in there crying. But I think
you can give context and just say, look, it will
really affect my ability to do my role.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And I don't think their career.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
No, that's the risk.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
We're dating. Like you will date people that might be
in your world and you have to like avoid that
certain part of your world. But when you're first of roles,
and I was thinking about this ex partner I had,
there's no way, no matter how good the job was,
would I ever apply for a company that he was
working out. There's no way I was. So the fact
that he did it, knowing that we ended so badly
(11:17):
was just a whole which such a weird thing to do.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
He wants you back clearly, and.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Now we're married, and now we're getting married and we're
living happily ever after.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
But I also don't think you'll seem unprofessional if you
explain it the way you've mentioned, if you go in
and say I hate him, I just never want him
to get ahead. Yes, you could seem unprofessional depending on
how you conduct the conversation, but I think if you
explain it in terms of a performance impact, it will
sound very reasonable.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, I'm here now, and then I'm going to drop
down here. Yeah, yeah, okay. Our next question came from Emma,
and she dmd US. She said, I was having a
private phone call with my husband in what I thought
was an empty office then about work stress and some
(12:07):
frustrating colleagues. Turns out someone was there and definitely heard everything.
Now I'm paranoid about how this might affect my relationships
at work and whether it could impact my job security.
How do I handle this awkward situation?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Do you know what this reminds me of? This is
a real life example of when someone sends their friend
a post on Instagram that they want to have a
good yap about, but they accidentally send it to the person.
That's exactly what this is for the real life, and
it's like everyone's worst nightmare. I'm mortified thinking of what
(12:43):
you felt when you like the hairs on your neck
when you realize someone was listening. That's awful.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I've sent a guy once a screenshot of the conversation
I was having with him.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
With commentary or just to screenshots.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
I just went the screenshot before I realized what happened,
and he was just like, who was I meant to
go to?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I mean, obviously yeah, Oh, that's so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's so bad.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
It's so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I've been on the other side of that where I've
heard a conversation that I probably shouldn't have heard because
I was just like at my desk, not in mum
and me. I was in a different job. My desk
was like in this way where it was kind of
blocked off and they had like these big partitions. And
I heard a colleague bitch to another colleague about a
(13:28):
project that all of us were working on, and they
were just going in and in. Thank god my name
wasn't mentioned, because then that would have been way more awkward.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
But it just like hello, yeah, but I was so
new that, like.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I had no idea about any office drama, so this
was like my inn. I was getting really excited and
then currency and then I left and I was just
like bye, guys, have a good night, and their faces
just drop.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's actually mortifying.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I feel like, if you weren't talking about that specific colleague,
it could be fine. Like a lot of people who
overhear these conversations love it, but they just love it
for themselves and they're just like, that was so funny
that I overheard that, and they might like tell their husband.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Or yeah, like they're probably not going to go job
on you to a lot of managers, A.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Lot of people are way more chill than we give
them credit for. So I wouldn't be super super stressed
out about that unless you're talking about them, which I
don't think you were. But if you are stressed, I
don't know, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
It sounds like you know who it was? Yeah, And
I think depending on your relationship with them, it's really
hard if you're not on good terms because then there's
all the paranoia about how they're going to use it
and what the who they're going to tell. But I
think often they might even share the grievances that you have,
and if they agree with you, like maybe they won't
(14:45):
pass it on. But I think again, and this is
like coming from someone who really avoids upfront conversations. My
advice is so often just get ahead of it, however,
an honest conversation. But I do think just chat to
them and say, I really shouldn't have had that conversation
with my husband in public. I was just venting. I
was frustrated. I should have known better than to do
it in the workplace. But you know, we all vent
(15:06):
to our personal relationships. It wasn't to another colleague.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That's what I mean. It's actually better that you were
your husband than not to like another colleague.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, so I think just say like, he doesn't know
any of you. I was just blowing off steam like
we all do. I'd really appreciate your discretion. I think
most people will take that pretty well. Yeah, unless it
was about them.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I don't think it was. I think they would have
said I think Emma would have said that it was
about the person.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And I think also like the way that the question
was worded is how do I handle this awkward situation?
The worst thing you could do for awkwardness is let
it fester. Yeah, like it's to not handle it and
just pretend like it never happened, because then you'll constantly
wonder what are they thinking? Who have they told? Were
they going to do about it? But if you sit
down with them, if they go I totally agree, you're
going to feel relief and you're going to go I'm fine.
(15:49):
You can move on with them the coffee, just be like, yeah,
that was riberary babe bribery. Get him a biscuit, get
him a cross on or something nice. Another thing that's
really useful to do if you want to address the situation.
This is in the instagram situation. If someone sends you yeah,
(16:11):
you just reply and say what did you mean by that?
Because sometimes they might not even realize they've.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Done it, and especially if it's a man, because they
really don't realize.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
That they have no idea. They are so clueless. Because
it happened to me in a slightly different situation. We
hadn't had Teddy yet, but we were in that prime
being married for a while. Everyone's waiting for the baby news,
and like, that's a Wholiday episode on whether you should
ask people if they're trying for kids or when they're
gonna have kids.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yes, send us your dilemmas about kids in the workplace.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
And maternity leave and last I need to do a
whole episode on that. But I obviously was looking a
little bit tubs because someone just sent me my story
saying she's definitely pregnant. Just another thing that she's not
going to shut up about. Now.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Wait, was this like a follower like a friend, It.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Was like a non follower who obviously seen it. Yeah,
I think they meant to send it to someone who
is a follower or a recently unfollower, because they maybe
didn't want to hear about me. Yeah, about the pregnant
I was not wrong. Maybe they've seen a lot of fries.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Maybe they freaked out and didn't know how to like
undo the situation, so they just unfollowed you.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Well, so I replied, what did you say? Kind of
the polite equivalent of what did you mean by that?
But I clarified and I was like, actually, we're not pregnant.
We had just had a loss, which was even worse.
So I was like, just so you know, for context.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
You know that person's going to think about this situation,
one of which is why I was kind. Other situations
they're going to wake up at three am and all
be in their mind.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
So I was really kind because I was like, I
am mortified. I would not have been kind, but I
was firm. I was like, just so you know, I
did see this. We aren't we were, but we're no longer.
But I would hope that people who are.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Perceiving the comment on women's bodies, this is crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I mean I was pretty voted. Well. She wasn't commenting though,
because she was sending it privately, you know what I mean.
It wasn't meant for me, so I was trying to
like it. I would hope that when the beautiful news
is shared that people would love to hear me not
shut up about it and then just left it and
then I never go anything back.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
She would have been mortified.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I hope she's listening to this right now. No, I
don't actually, Oh my god, no.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
We'll tager. This was probably one of my favorite episodes.
Really so juicy.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Mine was met by Mom and Mia.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Thank my Mom and Maya. Okay, thank you so much
for helping us clear another in box keep sending us
to your workplace dilemmas, whether it's office drama or any
career pivots. You want to do, the juicier the better.
You can remain completely anonymous if you choose to do so.
There will be a link in our show notes for
you to tap.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
And you, guys know, we want to hear the juicy
are the better. Also, the smellier the better. So if
there's like a spmella about there's a specific story about
the person who microwaves fish in the break room, or
like brings boiled eggs, or like just themselves emanates a
scent that's generally unsocial. Put your name to it if
(18:58):
you're feeling bold, although I stay anonymous as the mentioned.
But all of our past episodes are also ready and
waiting in your feet if you need to catch up
on our workplace wisdom, because we're clocking up some good.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I actually do have a confession off the back of
that stop. I once warmed up in microwave anthrovis mackerel.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
You, Oh you're that girl, I think just guy stinky fish.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I love fish so much.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I love fish too, but it's like.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
But it's so worth it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I don't know, but tune in a tin is way
less smelly than like microwaved fish. Choose the form factor
of the fish in a social manner and think of
other people for once. It's not all about you, Okay
it is. We'll be back next week with fresh career
(19:44):
chaos to untangle, and the juiciness of that will depend
on what you guys send in.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
So then bye bye, Mamma.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that
this podcast is recorded on
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