December 13, 2024 • 45 mins
It takes a village to raise a child, or so the saying goes. So why are we always telling the village to F off? We unravel what's behind the idea of community being cancelled.
Plus, our weekend recommendations include an addictive spy show, a T-shirt Mia’s about to send viral and… a dog pee cleaner?
Also, mysterious playground encounters, a sudden loss and a festive backflip — it’s Best & Worst of the week.
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- Listen: It's Time We Talked About 'That Guy'
- Listen: Sibling Wealth Gaps & Ruined Christmases
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- Listen: The 'Too Sexy' Pop Star & The Very Bad Son
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Recommendations:
Mia wants you to buy Makusart tees
Jessie wants you to buy DOG Wee Cleaner By Dr Lisa
Holly wants you to watch Black Doves on Netflix
What To Read:
- Read: Everything you need to know about the Mamamia Out Loud ALL OR NOTHING TOUR coming May 2025.
- Read: HOLLY WAINWRIGHT: 'Things I would buy my best friend for Christmas.'
- Read: There's a reason celebrity faces look different.
- Read: A mum's list of baby rules went viral, then came the messages.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Mama Meyer acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on out louders.
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If you were to come to our live show, too bad,
you can't.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Or that you get to sold out, you can't.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
So true.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
The Mama Mere are out Loud Live All or Nothing Tour,
presented by Nivia Cellular is not yet sold out, although
if you live in Perth it's about to be.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It's in May next year this tour. She just stopped
and looked at us and Jesse're like, so we're touring
in May next year. It's a whole new show. This
week we started having our first meetings about what the
show is going to be like and the treats we've
got in store for you. And if you came to
our last one and you saw some of outfits outfits
and some of the things that we did and some
of the videos we made, and it's all going to
(00:55):
be different.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
It's going to be so much fun.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
But if you can't be bothered organizing tickets for a
group of friends, because there are some people who are like,
I'm an out louder. My friends aren't out louders or
I just can't be bothered being the Nicole vibe.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
That louderst group. I get it.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Nah, then you should buy a single lady ticket where
lots of out louders attending solo all come together.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's a good way to meet friends.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Head to out loud live dot com dot au to
get your tickets before they sell out. Also, the link
is in the show notes if you don't remember what
I just said. Hello, and welcome to Mamma Mia out
Loud and to our Friday show where we don't talk
about anything newsy. We just like kick back. Sometimes it
gets a bit rogue. We're just like taking a break
(01:41):
from whatever's going on out there today. Oh no, it's
Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh no, it's.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Friday, the thirteenth of December.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
And I'm hollywayen Right, I'm Mere Friedman. Happy birthday, Taylor Swift.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
And I am Jesse Stevens. And it is my birthday
and one week and one day.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Ohius my birthday, and one week oh my godness birthday
earlier in the week.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
So many saurgy satgies on today's show. It takes a village.
So why are we always telling the village to fuck off,
and our weekend recommendations include an addictive spy show, a
T shirt me is about to send viral, and a
dog peak cleaner.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
That's a weird week okay.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Also mysterious playground encounters, a sudden loss, and a festive backflip.
It's our best and worst of the week, but first
me a freedman.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
In case you missed it. Celebrities, some of them who
are female and some male, are resetting factory settings and
entering the undetectable era of cosmetic surgery. A lot of
people are saying that there is a new mysterious doctor
in town in Hollywood. The rumors are actually that he's
practicing in New York because there are certain celebrities.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Why are we assuming it's a heat could very well
be a shape.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Absolutely did I say, hey, yeah, you did?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yep, you meant they.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
That's unconscious biasah it is.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
We must undo that.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Because all doctors are men, because for the good ones. Okay,
So there are certain celebrities including Lindsay Loewen who is
thirty eight, to Me Moore who is sixty two, donad
Oliverasachi who is sixty nine, and Christina Aguilera who is
forty three, and even Matt Damon who's fifty four. And
suddenly they're looking the same as they did twenty years ago.
(03:23):
And when I say that, I mean that they don't
look like they've had work. And a lot of those people,
particularly the women, have had very noticeable work, some may
say work that was not ideal. And now they are
looking just like themselves, but twenty years ago.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Can I add one of my disclaimers, this segment is
pure speculation. Maybe their faces changed on their own.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
That happens.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Sometimes you wake up and your lips are huge, your
cheekbones have moved up to your forehead, like it just happens.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
That is what some of us are waiting for, it
for our collagen to come back.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
So there is some seriously Benjamin buttonshit going down. There
was a story and Mum and Me are written by
Aaron Dougherty that says there's a reason celebrity faces look different.
And she said, this is the undetectable era where all
telltale signs of cosmetic surgery have become blurred. So it's
almost like no makeup, makeup, but no surgery surgery.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Apparently it's sort of a reaction to the Instagram face.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
In the Kardashian face.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
The Kardashian thing, and a few things were happening ten
to fifteen years ago. First is that people were happy
to look like they had work done. And the second
was that people might have waited until they were sixty
to get a face lift and then they suddenly looked
very different. But what some experts are saying in this
is because people are starting younger and younger, it's not
as much of a shock when someone kind of shows
(04:46):
up and looks younger because they've been doing longer term treeands.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
So the skin.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Stuff I found, I just find this all very very pervy.
But there was an influencer that they spoke to on
You Beauty called Chloe Morello, and she was in I
think LA and went to Kim Kardashian's skin person and
they did some ridiculous facial that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Was it's like a plasma facial where they take out
some of your blood and then they put lots of
little holes in your face and then they put your
own blood with your plasma back into it.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
And why does that make you look?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
It's called a vampire facial? Who knows but it cost
her six yeah, around ten thousand Australian dollars. They're doing
all kinds of things like there are peptide infusions. There's
a whole level of work and treatments that celebrities have
access to and rich people have access to, particularly out
(05:36):
of Australia, that most people would not even have any
idea exists.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It's just that thing of constantly moving the bar because
once something's accessible to everybody, So say like lip filler, right,
celebrities used to get their lips filled, and now you know,
your dentist probably gets a lips filled, and the checkout
Chicket Wiles gets a lip filled, and the doctor gets
a lip filled, and everybody does. And so now it's like,
well that's become commonplace. The elite has to lift above
(06:01):
that and go, well, I'm getting my lips changed, but
you can't tell. I don't want to look like an
ordinary person.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
And I suppose that the science is evolving so quickly,
all these new technologies that we have no idea about.
Apparently the one that everyone's getting, according to Aaron Doherty's article,
is a blefs, which is the eye.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
So that's what the bless Yes, but bless.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
For sure, Yeah bleffs, which they think Matt Damon got
total speculation.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Which is the eyelid surgery.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
But I'm going to have to have that because just
putting it back, just praving us for a first face
left for medical reasons, because my mum had to have
this years ago, because I'm genetically have eyelids that like
when they start falling onto your eyelashes and it's a
hazard when you're driving. Carolyn Hurron's have the same thing
(06:47):
for she also got it, you know, on the public
healthcare system, because if you can show that you've got
a medical reason for them, then you can get it.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Imagine a world in which if you didn't want to
look like you had any work done, you just didn't
get any work.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
That's your world, hollywoon right.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
A woman named Claire Haber Harris is starting to think
that parents don't really want to village. In a viral
article published on Slate, she begins, I'm going to say
something that might sound a bit mean, but bear with me.
You've got me, You've got me.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Continue.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I don't think modern parents really want the village because
most parents don't behave in a villagey way. Her argument
is that educated people live farther away from their extended families,
so that's just a fact. In the US, especially if
you go to college or university, you move to the
other side of the country. And if you don't live
near family and you want a village, then you've got
to socialize with neighbors and friends. But for most, she says,
(07:47):
community is not a priority. She also says our standards
for caregivers are higher than ever. We don't want teens
to babysit our kids. We have rules for grandparents, sleepovers
are frowned upon, and a list of boundaries are circulated
in group chats. Really, Haber Harris argues, we don't want
a village. We want a free caretaker or cleaning crew
(08:07):
who does things exactly the way we wish. Holly, I'm
obsessed with this. I think it's so spot on. Do
you think we actually just want hired help who won't
speak to us?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
One hundred percent? Yes, I do think that because my
personal situation, I didn't have a family village right when
I had my kids, because I live on the other
side of the world from my family, and so we
did build a village like we have friends you know
who live around where we used to live, who I
would consider my village. A lot of them are coming
to my house for Christmas. We're all in each other's lives,
we know the kids and all that kind of stuff.
(08:39):
There are limitations to that because you can't exploit them
in the way that you might your family members, for example,
and be like I insist mother that you'd stop working
on Thursdays and come and look after my child for free.
And there are also limitations because you can't if someone
is looking after your child for free, I do not
think it's okay to give them a massive I mean,
(08:59):
of course, with a baby, like they need instructions, baby
is allergic to dairy. Yeah, baby has sleep between this
time and this time, but a massive list of demands
and all those viral tiktoks that I see of millennial
mothers schooling the gen X grandmothers about the way they
raise their children, and they're very funny, but there's a
(09:19):
kernel of truth in that, which is like, no one
thinks that the previous generation parented correctly, and nobody thinks
they know what they're doing, and everybody thinks that their
baby and their child is a special little snowflake and
that nobody else understands how to look after them. And
obviously none of that is true, right. But the problem
with all the lists and the demands and the sharing
of boundaries and that you can't visit my baby for
(09:41):
three weeks and you have to do this, this, and
this is it puts everybody off, and it makes them defensive,
and it makes them scared, and it's an obsession with control, right.
I think it's an obsession with control. And it's understandable
because I think, you know, the stakes have been raised
by the constant vigilance of social media and all that
kind of stuff. The thing about a village is you
have to accept its messiness. You have to accept that
(10:04):
your auntie, who might whether this is a real anti
or friend of family as we say in the North
of English, is not real anti. His friend at family,
friend of the family. Auntie is going to give them
chocolate and is going to put them down an hour
later than you'd like, and he's going to whatever. Even
when I'm in Sydney and I look after my friend Penny's,
I don't look after them, but I've take them for a
walk whatever. I'm like it's my prerogative. I'm buying a milkshake.
(10:26):
You know that. That's what aunties do. That's what you're
there for.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Different, completely different if you are employed, if you are
being paid, and then there's like this is a job description.
What I don't understand is it's like the village is
meant to come in with all its messiness. Claire and
I did an episode of The Baby Bubble about the
village where we said the.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Village is annoying. The village is absolutely so annoying.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Because it's there are interpersonal relationships that come with its
own baggage. You've got to navigate that difficult conversation with blah.
Maybe you've got a situation where you want everyone to
get the hooping cough vaccine or whatever. Maybe you want
to have a conversation about how they're doing something like
(11:08):
That's hard to navigate and it requires a certain level
of skill that maybe a lot of us have lost.
And I think because we've become so boundaried and our
relationships have become very, very transactional, And I wonder if
this is a result of so much being on demand
that we don't know how to see relationships outside of
(11:28):
employee employer friendships. Family community is about a bit of
give and take.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
It's just about tolerance. And it's interesting because now I'm
on the other side of it, where I am part
of the village. I'm part of your village, Jesse particularly,
And it's really funny because I think the key to
being in a village is to be very tolerant, to
not be too hung up on boundaries and I'll give
you an example, and to not take offense. So I
(11:57):
look after Luna on a Friday or you know, sometimes
on weekends whatever, and when I drop her back, because
I'm also happy to see Jesse and Luca, like I'm happy,
I want to come in, I want to talk about
how where day was. I want to see them. But
it's usually very clear that they want me to just
leave the baby, and they go very clear.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
In what way, how do you make that clear?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I know Luca pretty well and he just kind of
makes it clear. But usually you do things like you
sit down, and then it's just clear that that's not ideal.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
You're not being offered a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Over but never it's never, Hey, do you want to
stay for a glass of wine? It's kind of like,
and I just don't, like I remember what that was
like myself, Like I loved my mother in law and
my mom and dad looking after my kids, but then
I didn't want to have a big catch up at
the end of each time because usually when I was
getting my kids back, I knew I was heading into
(12:52):
dinner time and bath time, and it was like I
was still on the clock in terms of parenting, or
I had just come back on the clock in terms
of parenting. So you just got to read the situation.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Now.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I could take offense to that, or I could The
least you could do is give you give your mother a.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Glass of wine after she'd be looking after your baby
for free.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You could you could kind of just get put out.
But it's like, I don't know. You just got to
go with the flow, And I think that you're right.
In our culture now, with text messages, it's about control, right,
and the village is messy because sometimes someone wants to
catch up with you and you don't really want to
catch up with them. And if if it's in text,
(13:31):
you can decide whether you reply when you reply, it's
all on your terms. But personal interactions, which is what
a village is is less controllable, and I just don't
think we can handle that. I don't think we're match
fit for that anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
We also because mothers and fathers are feeling this social
pressure to be a certain type of parent, I think
that we then project that onto anyone who is caring
for our kids. So it's like the pressure has to
go somewhere. Same as if you've had a really hard
day at work and you're getting yelled at from a
boss and then you come home and you end up
yelling at.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Your kids or whatever.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
It's like that then gets passed on whoever is looking
after the child.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Just is it also a fear that you know they've
said the American Medical Association has sort of said intensive
parenting is bad for kids, but it also is not
sustainable for parents. This level of parenting is not healthy,
it's not good for them. Is there also the sense
that there's so much pressure on how you parent that
anyone who comes into contact with your child by extension
(14:33):
has to parent at that same level. Because I did
think that when my kids were younger, and that every
rule I have there has to be consistency, because my
kids were at lots of different places. And then someone
said to me, kids are smart. They work out that
there's one set of rule at grandma's house, one set
of rules when they're with dad, one set of rules
when they're with Mum. They work it out and they
adapt and they manipulate. And so that was really helpful
(14:56):
to me, because then I stopped. I was still really
hung up on don't feed them this and don't feed
them that, because also it meant that I never got
to be the one that gave them the treat. I
was like, everyone else gives them the treat, and I
have to be the asshole that just says that you've
vege stables all the time. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yeah, no, that's very true.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I do think that sometimes that it's like, oh, yeah,
Mum gets to give her the treat, and then I'm like,
I've got to be the one that's kind of the
bad guy.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, I get to give her the baked beans. And
then I come home and I said, oh, we had
baked beans for lunch, and then Lucal will be like,
oh gosh, we haven't had baked beans for months and
except for last week.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
I reckon there are two things at play The first
thing is being completely overrun with information, which.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Is which grand parents aren't.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Yeah, that's true, from routine to naps, to gentle parent parenting,
to all the things that you need to do, to
all the messaging I'm getting about nutrition and stimulation and
reading and blah blah blah. So it feels like I
have a checklist of all the things I've got to
do for that child and then make sure they're getting done.
There's the guilt, which I wonder. I mean, I'm sure
(16:05):
that that's always existed to some extent.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Control.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
That's the third thing I was going to say is
the control element. And we're talking about this on the
show recently, that you know, I don't leave the house
without knowing what the weather's going to be, I know
where my husband is at all times. There is so
much control over everything that to then go, I Am
going to leave the most precious personal people in the
(16:28):
care of someone else and not be able to control
every minute. I think that is really really important. And
this is I think early educators must deal with this
because they get it from parents a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And now they have to report on everything, and there's
cams and you have to you know, even in the
years between my kids going to preschool, you know, by
the last one that went, there'd be a whole big
report about what the whole day was.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
And it's like their whole job's become reporting rather than
actually spending time in the contents. And when you realize
I had to learn this because it wasn't instinctual. I
don't think that people around you are going to know
things about babies or your baby that you don't know yet.
And that's one of the greatest joys is to see
that they bring something out of they teach them a
new skill or they find a new hobby by spending
(17:12):
time with other people. That the bedtime doesn't really matter,
that the hot ships don't really matter. That guess what,
there's going to be an iPad and there's going to
be a screen, and there's going to be blood. Like
it's just going to happen and it's the chaos of childhood.
But what they get out of spending time with all
those different people is totally worth it. But you do
have to invest in it. And maybe that's a problem
that a lot of a lot of us have. I
(17:33):
feel this is that I'm not investing in the village enough, like,
because those relationships don't just it's not just the handover.
Are you communicating properly with all of those people in
there in your life so that the relationships are really
healthy and steady.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I think that's one hundred percent true, because I think
everybody's busy and burnt out, or we certainly see ourselves
that way, and so often when it comes to your
downtime verticomas, you're like, oh, well, I could go out
and be making connections in my village, but really I
just want to retreat to my little world. But the
other piece to this, I think is fear. Like as
your kids get older, different pairing styles and inverted commas become.
(18:12):
Like the steaks shift. So say the kids that my
age are at the different houses that they'll shed like
people have different screen rules, they eat junk food, they
don't eat junk food. Will they let them have their
phones in their room overnight? Well, they don't, blah blah.
And the thing is is, I've always had a relatively
laid back view that I think that when you're at
somebody's house, you lived by the rules, and that's that.
But we live in a very sort of fear informed world. Now,
(18:33):
we were like, but that could be the house and
I don't I'm not talking about really serious things like abuse,
of course, because of course, but it could be my
house where the kids sees something inappropriate online and then
I'm going to get the call from the parent that
says bloody, bloody Blair and then they'll be whispering about
me in the WhatsApp groups. And you know what I mean,
like the level of surveillance I think that we've put
(18:54):
in place in parent world. If you think about parental
WhatsApp groups, which will become a very big part of
your life, Jesse as the kids get older, whether it's
a sports team, school, preschool, whatever. In theory, that's a village.
Like in theory it is, and it's sometimes absolutely works
like that. I've got one of my wonderful friends who
will be the person who says, Holly, it's mufty day
(19:14):
because she knows I will forget right. That's a wonderful
example of the village. But the flip side of the
village is knowing that there's a whole group of people
chitty chatting all the time about all this stuff and
somebody's bound to be doing it wrong. You know so
and so sent their kids to school with knits. Have
you noticed that such and such as tops never clean,
like that person never turns up to dance practice.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
That's what a village does.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And the village gossips, right, And the village has always gossiped,
but now the gossip in a kind of way that
you can see well, that you can find out.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
About, which is all You've got this level of fear.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Were not wanting to be cast out of.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
It, which is also what social media has done because
mums need to vent, so they've terrified other members of
the village. And they've also terrified other mums in a
lot of ways because you go, oh my goodness, I'm
that person, or there's the rules about not kissing the baby,
or you know, the mother giving unsolicited advice or whatever
it is.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I think it's just shit we have to except.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But also, I just want to bring it back to
the village. It's not just Villages aren't just about kids.
Villages are also about workplaces. They're about extended families, the
family you were born into. And it can be really
lovely to realize that you're a part of a village.
You didn't know you were part of. Ole spoke about
our friend Lucy, who has breast cancer and she had
(20:31):
an operation this week, and there is a WhatsApp group
because she had all these different people messaging in her
and every time there's a major update, she sends a
message to this what's called the Big Friend group. And
I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, but what
was lovely this week is all these women that I
don't know. Some of them I do know, like Hollies
in there. You know, our friend Mon's is in there,
(20:53):
But there were stacks of women in there that I
don't know. But we're all united, including Lucy's mother, by
our love for Lucy and our concern for Lucy. And
it's like, you know, I know some people say, oh,
I'm not part of a village, but sometimes you might
be a part of a village but you don't even
know about. Like if you think about when you go
to a wedding, for example, or in a sad case
(21:15):
of a funeral, it's like you're part of that person's village,
even if you don't necessarily know all the other people
in it.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
This is an argument that I have with Lucer all
the time, is about how necessary inconvenience is to connections
and to relationships. So sometimes if you're going to be
part of a village where shit hits a fan and
you've got to go and drop your kids off at
someone's house, guess what, You've got to be the kind
of person who has your door open for when their
(21:41):
shit hits a fan and they can come to your
like that's how it works. The other thing I found
interesting in this article actually was she was saying the
tendency now that when there's say a long weekend, maybe
it's because we like to be efficient, or maybe it's
back to the control piece. When we have a long weekend,
what we want to do is close all our doors
and spend time with our nuclear family. So people go
(22:03):
out of town or go on holiday, which even now
school holidays are coming up, a lot of people will
have a trip planned and it'll be their immediate family
are going away. And then I hear parents say that
was really really hard, and it's like, of course it's hard.
Of course, that's hard to be just you guys. But
that what she argued, which I thought was interesting, was
(22:24):
that's not very villagy of you, because she says, I
try and organize a picnic or a barbecue with a
bunch of different families. But we're so siloed because what
we want to do is we don't want to really
spend time with the neighbor around the corner. We want
to spend time with our child.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Do you think it's also there's been so much I
don't know what the word is, lionizing or like, you know,
for being an introvert and having social anxiety and having
low social battery and all of those things. We've kind of,
in some ways, we've made that so acceptable to talk
about that it's almost become a cop out, you know.
(22:58):
And again it comes down to discomfort and putting yourself
out for your village. If you want your village to
put themselves out for you.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
If you want to be perfectly boundaried, and if you
want to make sure that your life never the rainbow
fist any has any discomfort, then unfortunately you're not part
of a village.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Out loud is in a moment. We're sharing our weekly recos,
including something to wear, watch, and a hot tip for
wee wiz.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
It's Friday, It's recommendations. We've got weekend recommendations for you
mea Friedman, You're going first, you are about to send
something viral. I have a feeling because they're so good.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I'm going to recommend a local Australian T shirt brand.
All I want to wear at the moment is T shirts.
I want to wear things high necked to cover up
my decolotage because I don't want to get some damaged
and because I've got a bit of a skater boy
eccentric grandpa vibe going at the moment. Graphic T shirts
are huge and all I want to wear is T
(24:01):
shirts with my jawts. I have found the most fantastic
hand paige shorts in or.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Is that just you?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Are they? Yeah? But you know my teenager turns. I know,
as a pat of them, I'm like they look good
on MEA.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Say you look like you look like Avril Levines, I know,
like a skater boy.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
See I told you, look I'm going for She makes
this incredible hand painted art. Her name is Marcu Fernaroli
and she is a lady startup. The T shirts are phenomenal.
They are so well priced for the quality that they are.
I'm wearing on now, but I've been collecting them.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I really like that.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, I have bought a ton of them for myself,
for everyone I know, for my kids. I don't even
know how to explain them. They've just got all different
designs on them.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
They're not fussy.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
No, and here's a tear bold. As we've learned from
our colors this year, white doesn't suit everybody, so I
keep buying white T shirts with graphics on them, and
then they don't actually suit me. So what she does
is she's got a few and different colors, but she's
got this off white that a lot of hers come in,
and they're quite boxy. They're over sized. I buy them large.
She also has a boxy crop for height challenge. People
(25:14):
like you two like a giant and like me, I'm
just a glamozon. No, I'm sorry, I'm a scapaboy. Anyway,
I highly recommend. It's called Maku the label and Marcus
Art is her instagram m A k U s a RT.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You know, last week I met an out louder at
an event I was doing, and she couldn't stop commenting
on how much shorter I was than she thought. And
then she had this like realization. She was like, that
means you're all short.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
We are you guys make me look tall?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
We are sure.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
I don't think you have tall energy.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
No do either, Jesse, go your recommendation.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Yeah, I mean this is all we recommend. Yes, this
is what we've.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
All been waiting for. Is my recommendation today. Look, I
have a week cleaner. Hear me out. We got back
from holiday the other day and our dog was obviously
sick because we hadn't seen in a few days. And
she was pulling focus and she vomited all over a
rug let's say six times, and then she did a
(26:16):
way upstairs, and then it was just still coming out.
It was just your back and I'd lack a pat Anyway.
We did get that sorted. But I have this week
cleaner that I've been using phrages, and it just confirmed
to me that this is one of the best products
in my house.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
The funny thing is that I was at Jesse's house
at one point yesterday when this happened, and the dog
vomited up this green thing on this beautiful cream rug.
Claire was there as well. We did not break conversation,
We did not interrupt a sentence. She just grabbed up
a week cleaner and as we kept talking, you cleaned
up the way and at the end of the it
was gone.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
And I can confirm that not only is it for wheat,
it's also ful. We've had a few incidents with vomit
with the baby. Okay, what this product promises to do
is neutralize all odors and I very very sensitive nose.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
And this all gone.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Because you know with dogs, if they wear they're going
to go back to the same spot and we again.
And this anyway, it is called Weekleaner. The brand is
dog and it's by Doctor Litha. It's forty seven dollars,
which sounds like a lot, but it comes in a
very very big thing. I've never had to replace it.
And the trick is this the white packaging.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
You've just got a puppy.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
She needs to know she needs it immediately.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
You can get broken David Jones. It's actually a beautiful thing.
It's quite a statement piece in your home.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
But definitely, but I have a process now.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
I know this is very specific, but people with white
or carpets and wheight anyway, it's like you got dab
it up, dub up everything and you can't scrub. And
I know mea that you would want to scrub because
you're impatient, but you can't. You just got to dab
it all and then once it's all dry, you spray
your way cleaner. Then, oh, I haven't even told you
the best bit about the way cleaner. On the bottom,
(27:53):
it's got like spikes, and then you go you scrap.
You go like this, but you just said don't scrub, no, no,
because you've already got it all out.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Then you go like this and you do a bit
of a scrub scrub with your spikes at.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
The boy, you don't have to use water to like
wash out.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
I might get a little bit of water on like
paper towel while I'm dubbing, id dab dab, and then
do a bit of a little scratchy scratch with the
bottom of the thing and then dab dab dab and
my cream rug. You could not tell that I had
six days.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, you know what else?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I need? That domestic god, I am every you know.
I've been having my green smoothies for breakfast I don't
know ten years now, throwing them downstairs about every four
to six weeks. I won't put the lid on properly.
Yesterday I was so loving my outfit. And I was
sitting there and I just picked it up and it
just fell all over my lap and all over the floor.
(28:40):
I'm just like, oh not again.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Well, then you need to use and I have recommended
this before.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It is very hard to get out of carpet.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Yes, carpet, but as a domestic goddess on this show,
I have recommended the Vanish stain remover pink thing that'll
get out of my clothes.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
For your clothes, but then use my way cleaner to
get it.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Out to get out of the carpet.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, cool, wanted to tell you something interesting, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I'm watching It's all boring until your dog ways on
the carpet this weekend holiday.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
I'm watching a show on Netflix with Brent called Black Doves.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
This morning a man was killed on the South Bank.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
It was he was murdered. Was I the target?
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You might have compromised yourself and now it's time to.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Get or Hello Dolly the fucking Shotgune. Yes, it's all
I had on me.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Thank you for coming back if it was anyone else
but her, or you.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Promised me that you will keep my family safe and
you will keep me.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Alive and I need to watch it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yes, you do. Particularly. I don't think you're a Slow
Horses person, are you? You should be? I think you'd
like that. I think there are three seasons now of
Slow Horses. It's really good.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Something about the name slow turns me on.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
I know it's really great. Slow Horses is a British
spy drama. This is a British spy drama. So Black
Doves is British spy drama. Nightler has just dropped on Netflix.
It stars Kira Knightley Sarah Lancashire, who everyone would know
from Happy Valley.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
The main one, the main one that is it's the
best show.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
And Ben was sure, who is, among other things, the
voice of Paddington Bear, but is also a really good British.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Well, I like this whole anything Well you've ever recommended
it is probably not.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
It is a little bit violent, but then I feel
like your tolerance for that since we went to see
the substance has kind of risen.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
What's it like, Well, it's like hospital.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I've watched that. So it opens with this isn't a
spoiler because it's the setup for the whole show. Kiera
Knightley appears to be in the first five minutes of
the show, like the perfect British politician's wife. Oh remember
that one with Sianna Miller in it, the one with
the where she was married to a little bit like that.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Anatomy of a scandal is great anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Kiera Knightley appears to be the perfect polished politician's wife.
She's got these two little cute blonde twins. She lives
in this beautiful, very posh London house. Her husband is
the Foreign Secretary in the British government. Blah blah, blah,
blah blah. You very quickly find out that Kira Knightley
is a spy and that she has been living a
(31:14):
double life for at least a decade. You just had
the children with this guy as part of the whole thing,
right like, and then does no, well not so far.
So that's like the setup. You find out that it's
because it starts with a couple of murders, not really
gruesome murders, but murders, and then you see how they
all tie together and it's a spy drama. So it's
then all these weird characters come in. Sarah Lancasher is
(31:37):
the spy master like the Boss Lady, but you don't
know that at first. And Ben with Share is like
this hit man guy. It's really engaging, pacy like page
turning and English so great, but it is spy ish
and a little bit suspenseful violence. Oh no, this is
Shara Knightley is great. You would love it, Jesse for sure,
(31:57):
me and might love it, David Jackal.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Should I also watch well.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
No, you'll hate that too many but out Loud as
her watching it all. It's just so good.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
After the break date, night Deadlines and Holly's Confession, It's
our best and Worst of the Week.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop new segments of Mom
and Me are out Loud, just for Mamma Me As
subscribers follow the link in the show notes to get
your daily dose of out Loud and a big thank
you to everyone who is already subscribed. It's time for
(32:36):
our Best and Worst of the Week, the part of
the show where we share a little more from our
personal lives about things big and small that have happened
to us. I've got a really sad worst this week.
I went to a memorial for a new friend who
died in an accident on her farm a few weeks ago.
(32:56):
Her name was Lisa Ronson. She was the CMO of Medibank.
She'd also worked at in marketing for Cole's and David
Jones and Beza, and she'd done these and the most
incredible things Westpac. And I met her because we've been
doing some work with Medibank, and I did a sometimes
I go in and will do like a mock no filter,
(33:18):
like an in conversation with her, where you know, I
sort of get to know these people a little bit better.
And I did that about four weeks ago, and we
just kind of hit it off. She's the most amazing
woman with the same age, and you know, she was
talking about this farm that she has at Dalesford that
she loves. She and her husband had sort of restored it.
(33:38):
And she was originally from Sydney and she had a son, Corben,
who's like twenty two or twenty three. It just was
like a really amazing conversation and I just we just clicked.
And she died very suddenly a few weeks ago, and
I went to the memorial services one at her farm
in Victoria, and then there was one in Sydney this week.
(33:59):
And back to that thing of being part of a village,
Like I didn't know her barely at all, and there
were people who obviously knew her incredibly well. And what
I couldn't believe I would have been about was the
cricket ground. There would have been about five or six
hundred people there. And what struck me about those things
and funerals are always it was a memorial service, but
(34:20):
they're always like happy and sad, and you really get
to know someone through the people who speak about them
and the slide shows. And she grew up in Parramatta.
Her high school friend, best friend sort of said these
amazing things about how she was always just so ambitious
and what struck me so many people spoke about her,
and she had so many male friends, like she was
(34:42):
absolutely a woman's woman. She had this really close group
of girlfriends, but she was also friends with a lot
of really interesting, successful, dynamic men who all said she
was one of my closest friends. And she was just
so much larger than life. She was so beautiful. It's
just such a tragedy. It's one of those things that
(35:03):
makes you think, like why, yeah, the shock of it anyway,
my heart goes out to her husband Chris, and her
son Ben, and her family and everybody who knew and
loved her. So that was my worst. My best is
just so trivial. I had to give a speech last
week at my daughter's old high school, and it really
(35:24):
sort of weighed on me and trying to get that right.
And I'd forgotten I hadn't been on one of those
long deadlines for a really long time, probably since i'd
written a book. Our life and my work tends to
happen on much shorter increments, and I'd forgotten the absolute
relief of not being on deadline anymore, having completed something
that's hanging over your head for a really long time.
And because I've not, of course I've known about that.
(35:46):
I had to give this speech for months, and of
course I left it to the last weekend, and then
it wasn't working and I had to rewrite it and
rewrite it and rewrite it, and the panic. But it's
all of the months that I had that I knew
I should be writing it, that I wasn't, that I
felt guilty that I wasn't. Yeah, And it's like the
relief of just not having that guilt.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Do you feel like it's got to be six months
worth of goodness, when really, you know, it's better if
they give it to you on a Friday and it's
due Monday, because then you're like, I only have the
pressure of a weekend.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Because they say that creativity is about your creative thing,
but it's within a time frame. Yeah, because otherwise you'd
never hadn't done anything, you could just work on it forever.
More So, Yeah, I'm just relieved that that's behind me
my worst.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
The other day, I was showing Luca pictures on my
phone of Luna just doing silly things, and he saw
all these like really blurry photos and he went, what
are they of? And I said, oh, that's from when
I was at the playground and the kids took my
phone and he said what and I said kids. He
said what kids? And I said, well, they like because
on the back of my phone is a sticky thing
(36:49):
that you can stick to with little suck, with little suctions,
and the kids at the park love my phone and
they I have realized just.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Other people's kids.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I don't know how to say no to other people's children,
so I'm being bullied in parks. And I had to
admit to Luca that I get stuck in conversations with
four year olds. They tell me things and they say things,
and I don't really know how to react. But it's
like they think because I'm often on the equipment because
Luna is so little, so I'm helping her with the slide,
they're like, oh, another kid, and they come up to
me and go, I can pick up my twelve year
(37:17):
old cousin, and I'm like, that's just not it's.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Not a very interesting.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Yeah. I think that they think that child they want
to chat and then they go into my pocket and
they get my phone out.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
You're kidding.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
I'm like, I like half keep an eye on them,
but I don't know how to say to someone else's kid.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Can I have my I'm the village.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
I need boundaries for the people.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Other people's kids are intimidating.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
They're really intimidating on.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Them to like you, even if you've never met them before.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I want to be that mean lady at the park
said something mean to me.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Yeah, yeah, I try and be really and I do
like the company of kids, but I stealing.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Stations at the park with mothers when I've got Luna
and they ask me how old she is and I
never know no because I can never remember no, And
they always look at me funny. They're like, how old
are you? How old is she? And I'm like, God,
how old is she? I think she was born in June,
maybe July.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
My best is. I went away for a long weekend.
That's why I wasn't on the show on Monday. And
I have a friend who lives about three hours south
of Perth, and he's lived there for years, and.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
I keep can I ask why he lives three hours
south of Perth, Like is it family there? He moved,
their tree changed for him.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
He moved there for his fiance. So she is from
Perth and she always wanted to go and move to
this place. And I've seen photos and like he tells
me about the beautiful beaches and it's it's right near
Margaret River, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I
sort of got it. But I wanted to go on
this trip to go and see him, so I booked it.
I organized it. I was in a call of the trip.
I did the Airbnb, I did all the flights. It
(38:47):
was us, It was Claire, Rorian, Matilda and my mum
came along as.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
To a village.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
We took a village.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
She goes nowhere without her.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
I need the whole village.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
So we all go and we arrive and I was like,
this is them and I have I have traveled everywhere
in Australia. Name place, I've been there. This is the
most beautiful place I've ever been to in Australia.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
It's because, Lord, how island is I been?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
I can't even I've done Great Berry Reef, I've done Anti,
I've done everywhere. So he lives right on a place
called Smith's Beach, And when we walked down onto Smith's Speech,
we went, this is the most beautiful beach I've been to.
The whitest sand, white blue, clear visibility water, totally empty.
But it's quite bushland as well, like it's on and
on the Airbnb we're staying. At the end of our
(39:30):
street were kangaroos. There were just all these kangaroos that
we went and visited every morning.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Do you like nature?
Speaker 4 (39:36):
I like beaches. I really really like, actually like beach.
But then what was so brilliant about this place? Not
only that it's got the fanciest restaurants, so it's not
like here in the middle of nowhere called so we
stayed in a place called Dunsborough. And the reason why
we went as well is because for the first time
they have done a direct flight from Sydney to Bustleton.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
What I was worried about before was I'd got a perfle.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
But now does this direct thing and it's just opened
up this whole area of WA. Ran into so many
out louders, most of whom I'm in Dunsborough, I would say,
have you seen a park?
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Because they had little kids.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
When I was like, when you're on holiday with little kids,
it's just all about where's the post.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yeah. It was just the most brilliant long weekend.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
It was lovely.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
If you're planning a holiday, please look it up. It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Oh what was your worst? My worst is that I'm
a complete hypocrite. And on Saturday we did our Christmas decorations,
which was a backflip for me because it was a
whole week earlier. And you know how I made a
big thing, didn't I.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
I thought you said you were allowed to do it
in December.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Well from December the first it's acceptable, okay.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
But I still not very classic.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I I deally would like to wait till this weekend.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
It's basically Christmas now.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
My worst is said, I'm a hypocrite, and I bloody
loved it. Where I live, we go to a Christmas
tree farm and you cut down your own tree. Love
that shit, have to dodge snakes. It was thirty three degrees.
It was the hottest. I'm sorry out loud. As you
live in Britain, you don't understand like Christmas in Australia.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Have you adjusted? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Sure, oh yeah, It's been many years and I'm used
to it, but it is there's still something very strange
about because I love a real Christmas tree. And you
know how we see all those New York movies. Are
they dragging the fur trees down the street through the
snow with their wooly hats on, And then we're like,
we're kind of pretending to reenact that in a stinking
hot paddock in the middle of the bush with the
(41:21):
snakes and spiders.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
And then we have a hot Christmas lunch and the
kids are.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Like it's so hot, and I'm like, shut up, Christmas spirit,
push on, let's go. Anyway. It was really fun, but
why you decide to go early. Well A, it's the
peer pressure from all the out louders who told me
I was a snob, and also the kids. The kids
are like, they're so excited, right, they're so even now
they're so old, They're like, just let's do it, let's
do it. And then they know that we're allowed to
(41:45):
play Christmas music. Then we've met I've played poor Brent Street.
I am very strict. There is no Christmas music all
out until we're driving home from picking up the tree.
That's when how to make gravy goes off. A conversation
about that at another time, and then we put the
tree up, and then I make Brent and me we
put up all our solar lights outside, so the whole
house is flashing. I'm so exciting. I love it. Anyway,
(42:06):
that was my worst is that I'm a hypocrite. Is
actually though Brett and I went on date night on Friday,
me and my elderly boyfriend. Only wonderful things about the
kids being older is that you can leave them, you
can leave them in the house and so you can
go and do things like it's Friday, it's half past four,
Let's knock off work a bit early and go and
(42:28):
see Gladiator. We've been dying to go and see Gladiator together,
so we went to see Gladiada two together and look,
it is a ridiculous movie, but it's totally enjoyable. Paul
Mescal like, I don't know quite what accent he was doing,
but he was hot. I Kadro Pascal is one of
my absolute favorites, and he is underused but very hot.
The person who steals this whole movie is Denzel Washing.
(42:52):
Entirely belongs to him. He's chewing the scenery like. He
looks like he's having the best time of his life.
It's a lot of fun, but he's two and a
bit hours.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Come on, do you check your fine?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Only to see if the kids were harassing me? And
then we went and had dumplings, and then the kids
start harassing me because there was a thunderstorm, so I
had left them at home, but then they started going
come home now, please understorm. I'm like, damn it, but
great date night with the boyfriend. Recommend Gladiated too if
you are prepared to suspend your like, is it a
really good movie?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Is it a really fun couple of hours?
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
I think I'm gonna have to say, and that is
all we've got time for out louder Is, thank you
so much for being with us for another week, and
a massive thank you to our team who put these
things together. Mis Mia, mius Mia and Jesse readers out big.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Thank you to our team group Executive producer and protective
hag Ruth Divine. She is the village, but then she
gets really tired and she wants to move out.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
Executive producer Emmeline Gazillis likes the idea of village, but
only if she can be selective and vote people off
if needed.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Our audio producer is Leah Porgoes. She likes her private
space too much to have people popping in and out
whenever they please.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
It is true you have to tolerate a part for
life if you are truly committing to the village.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Not a fan of a popul No.
Speaker 4 (44:04):
I see in the village there were huts, and I
don't think the hut's had doors. And our video producer
is Josh Green. He doesn't believe in the self made person.
Here's where he is to date. Because of his village
and with the support of those around.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Him, he wins his top of the leaderboard for nice people.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Love jobs.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
We know you're not quite early to say goodbye by
we thought we would leave you with a bit of
a conversation we had about the trends we love and
the trends that need to go immediately. It was our
ins and Outs for twenty twenty five. May I feel
as though you will genuinely really enjoy Holly and I
being trendssetters. You're gonna I will explain to you why
broken arms are in for.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Twenty twenty five. There's your hoo.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
It's so good.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
I saw this thing recently where someone said, when was
the last time you saw a kid with a broken arm?
Speaker 3 (44:52):
Think about it. Oh, so when I was a kid.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Albo's going to bring that back with the social media band. Yes,
they're going to band social media and bring back kids
with broken arms. This is this is what we're getting.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Yes, so we've seen when.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
I was in primary school, if someone didn't have a
broken arm, that had a broken leg.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
There's a link in the show notes to hear that episode.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Shout out to any Mum and mea subscribers listening. If
you love the show and you want to support us,
Subscribing to MoMA Mia is the very best way to
do so. There's a link in the episode description.
You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Mama Meyer acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on out louders.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
If you were to come to our live show, too bad,
you can't.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Or that you get to sold out, you can't.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
So true.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
The Mama Mere are out Loud Live All or Nothing Tour,
presented by Nivia Cellular is not yet sold out, although
if you live in Perth it's about to be.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
It's in May next year this tour. She just stopped
and looked at us and Jesse're like, so we're touring
in May next year. It's a whole new show. This
week we started having our first meetings about what the
show is going to be like and the treats we've
got in store for you. And if you came to
our last one and you saw some of outfits outfits
and some of the things that we did and some
of the videos we made, and it's all going to
(00:55):
be different.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
It's going to be so much fun.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
But if you can't be bothered organizing tickets for a
group of friends, because there are some people who are like,
I'm an out louder. My friends aren't out louders or
I just can't be bothered being the Nicole vibe.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
That louderst group. I get it.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Nah, then you should buy a single lady ticket where
lots of out louders attending solo all come together.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It's a good way to meet friends.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Head to out loud live dot com dot au to
get your tickets before they sell out. Also, the link
is in the show notes if you don't remember what
I just said. Hello, and welcome to Mamma Mia out
Loud and to our Friday show where we don't talk
about anything newsy. We just like kick back. Sometimes it
gets a bit rogue. We're just like taking a break
(01:41):
from whatever's going on out there today. Oh no, it's
Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh no, it's.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Friday, the thirteenth of December.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
And I'm hollywayen Right, I'm Mere Friedman. Happy birthday, Taylor Swift.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
And I am Jesse Stevens. And it is my birthday
and one week and one day.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Ohius my birthday, and one week oh my godness birthday
earlier in the week.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
So many saurgy satgies on today's show. It takes a village.
So why are we always telling the village to fuck off,
and our weekend recommendations include an addictive spy show, a
T shirt me is about to send viral, and a
dog peak cleaner.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
That's a weird week okay.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Also mysterious playground encounters, a sudden loss, and a festive backflip.
It's our best and worst of the week, but first
me a freedman.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
In case you missed it. Celebrities, some of them who
are female and some male, are resetting factory settings and
entering the undetectable era of cosmetic surgery. A lot of
people are saying that there is a new mysterious doctor
in town in Hollywood. The rumors are actually that he's
practicing in New York because there are certain celebrities.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Why are we assuming it's a heat could very well
be a shape.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Absolutely did I say, hey, yeah, you did?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yep, you meant they.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
That's unconscious biasah it is.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
We must undo that.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Because all doctors are men, because for the good ones. Okay,
So there are certain celebrities including Lindsay Loewen who is
thirty eight, to Me Moore who is sixty two, donad
Oliverasachi who is sixty nine, and Christina Aguilera who is
forty three, and even Matt Damon who's fifty four. And
suddenly they're looking the same as they did twenty years ago.
(03:23):
And when I say that, I mean that they don't
look like they've had work. And a lot of those people,
particularly the women, have had very noticeable work, some may
say work that was not ideal. And now they are
looking just like themselves, but twenty years ago.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Can I add one of my disclaimers, this segment is
pure speculation. Maybe their faces changed on their own.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
That happens.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Sometimes you wake up and your lips are huge, your
cheekbones have moved up to your forehead, like it just happens.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
That is what some of us are waiting for, it
for our collagen to come back.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
So there is some seriously Benjamin buttonshit going down. There
was a story and Mum and Me are written by
Aaron Dougherty that says there's a reason celebrity faces look different.
And she said, this is the undetectable era where all
telltale signs of cosmetic surgery have become blurred. So it's
almost like no makeup, makeup, but no surgery surgery.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Apparently it's sort of a reaction to the Instagram face.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
In the Kardashian face.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
The Kardashian thing, and a few things were happening ten
to fifteen years ago. First is that people were happy
to look like they had work done. And the second
was that people might have waited until they were sixty
to get a face lift and then they suddenly looked
very different. But what some experts are saying in this
is because people are starting younger and younger, it's not
as much of a shock when someone kind of shows
(04:46):
up and looks younger because they've been doing longer term treeands.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
So the skin.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Stuff I found, I just find this all very very pervy.
But there was an influencer that they spoke to on
You Beauty called Chloe Morello, and she was in I
think LA and went to Kim Kardashian's skin person and
they did some ridiculous facial that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Was it's like a plasma facial where they take out
some of your blood and then they put lots of
little holes in your face and then they put your
own blood with your plasma back into it.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
And why does that make you look?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
It's called a vampire facial? Who knows but it cost
her six yeah, around ten thousand Australian dollars. They're doing
all kinds of things like there are peptide infusions. There's
a whole level of work and treatments that celebrities have
access to and rich people have access to, particularly out
(05:36):
of Australia, that most people would not even have any
idea exists.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It's just that thing of constantly moving the bar because
once something's accessible to everybody, So say like lip filler, right,
celebrities used to get their lips filled, and now you know,
your dentist probably gets a lips filled, and the checkout
Chicket Wiles gets a lip filled, and the doctor gets
a lip filled, and everybody does. And so now it's like,
well that's become commonplace. The elite has to lift above
(06:01):
that and go, well, I'm getting my lips changed, but
you can't tell. I don't want to look like an
ordinary person.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
And I suppose that the science is evolving so quickly,
all these new technologies that we have no idea about.
Apparently the one that everyone's getting, according to Aaron Doherty's article,
is a blefs, which is the eye.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
So that's what the bless Yes, but bless.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
For sure, Yeah bleffs, which they think Matt Damon got
total speculation.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Which is the eyelid surgery.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
But I'm going to have to have that because just
putting it back, just praving us for a first face
left for medical reasons, because my mum had to have
this years ago, because I'm genetically have eyelids that like
when they start falling onto your eyelashes and it's a
hazard when you're driving. Carolyn Hurron's have the same thing
(06:47):
for she also got it, you know, on the public
healthcare system, because if you can show that you've got
a medical reason for them, then you can get it.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Imagine a world in which if you didn't want to
look like you had any work done, you just didn't
get any work.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
That's your world, hollywoon right.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
A woman named Claire Haber Harris is starting to think
that parents don't really want to village. In a viral
article published on Slate, she begins, I'm going to say
something that might sound a bit mean, but bear with me.
You've got me, You've got me.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Continue.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I don't think modern parents really want the village because
most parents don't behave in a villagey way. Her argument
is that educated people live farther away from their extended families,
so that's just a fact. In the US, especially if
you go to college or university, you move to the
other side of the country. And if you don't live
near family and you want a village, then you've got
to socialize with neighbors and friends. But for most, she says,
(07:47):
community is not a priority. She also says our standards
for caregivers are higher than ever. We don't want teens
to babysit our kids. We have rules for grandparents, sleepovers
are frowned upon, and a list of boundaries are circulated
in group chats. Really, Haber Harris argues, we don't want
a village. We want a free caretaker or cleaning crew
(08:07):
who does things exactly the way we wish. Holly, I'm
obsessed with this. I think it's so spot on. Do
you think we actually just want hired help who won't
speak to us?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
One hundred percent? Yes, I do think that because my
personal situation, I didn't have a family village right when
I had my kids, because I live on the other
side of the world from my family, and so we
did build a village like we have friends you know
who live around where we used to live, who I
would consider my village. A lot of them are coming
to my house for Christmas. We're all in each other's lives,
we know the kids and all that kind of stuff.
(08:39):
There are limitations to that because you can't exploit them
in the way that you might your family members, for example,
and be like I insist mother that you'd stop working
on Thursdays and come and look after my child for free.
And there are also limitations because you can't if someone
is looking after your child for free, I do not
think it's okay to give them a massive I mean,
(08:59):
of course, with a baby, like they need instructions, baby
is allergic to dairy. Yeah, baby has sleep between this
time and this time, but a massive list of demands
and all those viral tiktoks that I see of millennial
mothers schooling the gen X grandmothers about the way they
raise their children, and they're very funny, but there's a
(09:19):
kernel of truth in that, which is like, no one
thinks that the previous generation parented correctly, and nobody thinks
they know what they're doing, and everybody thinks that their
baby and their child is a special little snowflake and
that nobody else understands how to look after them. And
obviously none of that is true, right. But the problem
with all the lists and the demands and the sharing
of boundaries and that you can't visit my baby for
(09:41):
three weeks and you have to do this, this, and
this is it puts everybody off, and it makes them defensive,
and it makes them scared, and it's an obsession with control, right.
I think it's an obsession with control. And it's understandable
because I think, you know, the stakes have been raised
by the constant vigilance of social media and all that
kind of stuff. The thing about a village is you
have to accept its messiness. You have to accept that
(10:04):
your auntie, who might whether this is a real anti
or friend of family as we say in the North
of English, is not real anti. His friend at family,
friend of the family. Auntie is going to give them
chocolate and is going to put them down an hour
later than you'd like, and he's going to whatever. Even
when I'm in Sydney and I look after my friend Penny's,
I don't look after them, but I've take them for a
walk whatever. I'm like it's my prerogative. I'm buying a milkshake.
(10:26):
You know that. That's what aunties do. That's what you're
there for.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Different, completely different if you are employed, if you are
being paid, and then there's like this is a job description.
What I don't understand is it's like the village is
meant to come in with all its messiness. Claire and
I did an episode of The Baby Bubble about the
village where we said the.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Village is annoying. The village is absolutely so annoying.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Because it's there are interpersonal relationships that come with its
own baggage. You've got to navigate that difficult conversation with blah.
Maybe you've got a situation where you want everyone to
get the hooping cough vaccine or whatever. Maybe you want
to have a conversation about how they're doing something like
(11:08):
That's hard to navigate and it requires a certain level
of skill that maybe a lot of us have lost.
And I think because we've become so boundaried and our
relationships have become very, very transactional, And I wonder if
this is a result of so much being on demand
that we don't know how to see relationships outside of
(11:28):
employee employer friendships. Family community is about a bit of
give and take.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
It's just about tolerance. And it's interesting because now I'm
on the other side of it, where I am part
of the village. I'm part of your village, Jesse particularly,
And it's really funny because I think the key to
being in a village is to be very tolerant, to
not be too hung up on boundaries and I'll give
you an example, and to not take offense. So I
(11:57):
look after Luna on a Friday or you know, sometimes
on weekends whatever, and when I drop her back, because
I'm also happy to see Jesse and Luca, like I'm happy,
I want to come in, I want to talk about
how where day was. I want to see them. But
it's usually very clear that they want me to just
leave the baby, and they go very clear.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
In what way, how do you make that clear?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I know Luca pretty well and he just kind of
makes it clear. But usually you do things like you
sit down, and then it's just clear that that's not ideal.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
You're not being offered a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Over but never it's never, Hey, do you want to
stay for a glass of wine? It's kind of like,
and I just don't, like I remember what that was
like myself, Like I loved my mother in law and
my mom and dad looking after my kids, but then
I didn't want to have a big catch up at
the end of each time because usually when I was
getting my kids back, I knew I was heading into
(12:52):
dinner time and bath time, and it was like I
was still on the clock in terms of parenting, or
I had just come back on the clock in terms
of parenting. So you just got to read the situation.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Now.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
I could take offense to that, or I could The
least you could do is give you give your mother a.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Glass of wine after she'd be looking after your baby
for free.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You could you could kind of just get put out.
But it's like, I don't know. You just got to
go with the flow, And I think that you're right.
In our culture now, with text messages, it's about control, right,
and the village is messy because sometimes someone wants to
catch up with you and you don't really want to
catch up with them. And if if it's in text,
(13:31):
you can decide whether you reply when you reply, it's
all on your terms. But personal interactions, which is what
a village is is less controllable, and I just don't
think we can handle that. I don't think we're match
fit for that anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
We also because mothers and fathers are feeling this social
pressure to be a certain type of parent, I think
that we then project that onto anyone who is caring
for our kids. So it's like the pressure has to
go somewhere. Same as if you've had a really hard
day at work and you're getting yelled at from a
boss and then you come home and you end up
yelling at.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Your kids or whatever.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
It's like that then gets passed on whoever is looking
after the child.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Just is it also a fear that you know they've
said the American Medical Association has sort of said intensive
parenting is bad for kids, but it also is not
sustainable for parents. This level of parenting is not healthy,
it's not good for them. Is there also the sense
that there's so much pressure on how you parent that
anyone who comes into contact with your child by extension
(14:33):
has to parent at that same level. Because I did
think that when my kids were younger, and that every
rule I have there has to be consistency, because my
kids were at lots of different places. And then someone
said to me, kids are smart. They work out that
there's one set of rule at grandma's house, one set
of rules when they're with dad, one set of rules
when they're with Mum. They work it out and they
adapt and they manipulate. And so that was really helpful
(14:56):
to me, because then I stopped. I was still really
hung up on don't feed them this and don't feed
them that, because also it meant that I never got
to be the one that gave them the treat. I
was like, everyone else gives them the treat, and I
have to be the asshole that just says that you've
vege stables all the time. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Yeah, no, that's very true.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I do think that sometimes that it's like, oh, yeah,
Mum gets to give her the treat, and then I'm like,
I've got to be the one that's kind of the
bad guy.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, I get to give her the baked beans. And
then I come home and I said, oh, we had
baked beans for lunch, and then Lucal will be like,
oh gosh, we haven't had baked beans for months and
except for last week.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
I reckon there are two things at play The first
thing is being completely overrun with information, which.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Is which grand parents aren't.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Yeah, that's true, from routine to naps, to gentle parent parenting,
to all the things that you need to do, to
all the messaging I'm getting about nutrition and stimulation and
reading and blah blah blah. So it feels like I
have a checklist of all the things I've got to
do for that child and then make sure they're getting done.
There's the guilt, which I wonder. I mean, I'm sure
(16:05):
that that's always existed to some extent.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Control.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
That's the third thing I was going to say is
the control element. And we're talking about this on the
show recently, that you know, I don't leave the house
without knowing what the weather's going to be, I know
where my husband is at all times. There is so
much control over everything that to then go, I Am
going to leave the most precious personal people in the
(16:28):
care of someone else and not be able to control
every minute. I think that is really really important. And
this is I think early educators must deal with this
because they get it from parents a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And now they have to report on everything, and there's
cams and you have to you know, even in the
years between my kids going to preschool, you know, by
the last one that went, there'd be a whole big
report about what the whole day was.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
And it's like their whole job's become reporting rather than
actually spending time in the contents. And when you realize
I had to learn this because it wasn't instinctual. I
don't think that people around you are going to know
things about babies or your baby that you don't know yet.
And that's one of the greatest joys is to see
that they bring something out of they teach them a
new skill or they find a new hobby by spending
(17:12):
time with other people. That the bedtime doesn't really matter,
that the hot ships don't really matter. That guess what,
there's going to be an iPad and there's going to
be a screen, and there's going to be blood. Like
it's just going to happen and it's the chaos of childhood.
But what they get out of spending time with all
those different people is totally worth it. But you do
have to invest in it. And maybe that's a problem
that a lot of a lot of us have. I
(17:33):
feel this is that I'm not investing in the village enough, like,
because those relationships don't just it's not just the handover.
Are you communicating properly with all of those people in
there in your life so that the relationships are really
healthy and steady.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I think that's one hundred percent true, because I think
everybody's busy and burnt out, or we certainly see ourselves
that way, and so often when it comes to your
downtime verticomas, you're like, oh, well, I could go out
and be making connections in my village, but really I
just want to retreat to my little world. But the
other piece to this, I think is fear. Like as
your kids get older, different pairing styles and inverted commas become.
(18:12):
Like the steaks shift. So say the kids that my
age are at the different houses that they'll shed like
people have different screen rules, they eat junk food, they
don't eat junk food. Will they let them have their
phones in their room overnight? Well, they don't, blah blah.
And the thing is is, I've always had a relatively
laid back view that I think that when you're at
somebody's house, you lived by the rules, and that's that.
But we live in a very sort of fear informed world. Now,
(18:33):
we were like, but that could be the house and
I don't I'm not talking about really serious things like abuse,
of course, because of course, but it could be my
house where the kids sees something inappropriate online and then
I'm going to get the call from the parent that
says bloody, bloody Blair and then they'll be whispering about
me in the WhatsApp groups. And you know what I mean,
like the level of surveillance I think that we've put
(18:54):
in place in parent world. If you think about parental
WhatsApp groups, which will become a very big part of
your life, Jesse as the kids get older, whether it's
a sports team, school, preschool, whatever. In theory, that's a village.
Like in theory it is, and it's sometimes absolutely works
like that. I've got one of my wonderful friends who
will be the person who says, Holly, it's mufty day
(19:14):
because she knows I will forget right. That's a wonderful
example of the village. But the flip side of the
village is knowing that there's a whole group of people
chitty chatting all the time about all this stuff and
somebody's bound to be doing it wrong. You know so
and so sent their kids to school with knits. Have
you noticed that such and such as tops never clean,
like that person never turns up to dance practice.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
That's what a village does.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And the village gossips, right, And the village has always gossiped,
but now the gossip in a kind of way that
you can see well, that you can find out.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
About, which is all You've got this level of fear.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Were not wanting to be cast out of.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
It, which is also what social media has done because
mums need to vent, so they've terrified other members of
the village. And they've also terrified other mums in a
lot of ways because you go, oh my goodness, I'm
that person, or there's the rules about not kissing the baby,
or you know, the mother giving unsolicited advice or whatever
it is.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I think it's just shit we have to except.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But also, I just want to bring it back to
the village. It's not just Villages aren't just about kids.
Villages are also about workplaces. They're about extended families, the
family you were born into. And it can be really
lovely to realize that you're a part of a village.
You didn't know you were part of. Ole spoke about
our friend Lucy, who has breast cancer and she had
(20:31):
an operation this week, and there is a WhatsApp group
because she had all these different people messaging in her
and every time there's a major update, she sends a
message to this what's called the Big Friend group. And
I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, but what
was lovely this week is all these women that I
don't know. Some of them I do know, like Hollies
in there. You know, our friend Mon's is in there,
(20:53):
But there were stacks of women in there that I
don't know. But we're all united, including Lucy's mother, by
our love for Lucy and our concern for Lucy. And
it's like, you know, I know some people say, oh,
I'm not part of a village, but sometimes you might
be a part of a village but you don't even
know about. Like if you think about when you go
to a wedding, for example, or in a sad case
(21:15):
of a funeral, it's like you're part of that person's village,
even if you don't necessarily know all the other people
in it.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
This is an argument that I have with Lucer all
the time, is about how necessary inconvenience is to connections
and to relationships. So sometimes if you're going to be
part of a village where shit hits a fan and
you've got to go and drop your kids off at
someone's house, guess what, You've got to be the kind
of person who has your door open for when their
(21:41):
shit hits a fan and they can come to your
like that's how it works. The other thing I found
interesting in this article actually was she was saying the
tendency now that when there's say a long weekend, maybe
it's because we like to be efficient, or maybe it's
back to the control piece. When we have a long weekend,
what we want to do is close all our doors
and spend time with our nuclear family. So people go
(22:03):
out of town or go on holiday, which even now
school holidays are coming up, a lot of people will
have a trip planned and it'll be their immediate family
are going away. And then I hear parents say that
was really really hard, and it's like, of course it's hard.
Of course, that's hard to be just you guys. But
that what she argued, which I thought was interesting, was
(22:24):
that's not very villagy of you, because she says, I
try and organize a picnic or a barbecue with a
bunch of different families. But we're so siloed because what
we want to do is we don't want to really
spend time with the neighbor around the corner. We want
to spend time with our child.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Do you think it's also there's been so much I
don't know what the word is, lionizing or like, you know,
for being an introvert and having social anxiety and having
low social battery and all of those things. We've kind of,
in some ways, we've made that so acceptable to talk
about that it's almost become a cop out, you know.
(22:58):
And again it comes down to discomfort and putting yourself
out for your village. If you want your village to
put themselves out for you.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
If you want to be perfectly boundaried, and if you
want to make sure that your life never the rainbow
fist any has any discomfort, then unfortunately you're not part
of a village.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Out loud is in a moment. We're sharing our weekly recos,
including something to wear, watch, and a hot tip for
wee wiz.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
It's Friday, It's recommendations. We've got weekend recommendations for you
mea Friedman, You're going first, you are about to send
something viral. I have a feeling because they're so good.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I'm going to recommend a local Australian T shirt brand.
All I want to wear at the moment is T shirts.
I want to wear things high necked to cover up
my decolotage because I don't want to get some damaged
and because I've got a bit of a skater boy
eccentric grandpa vibe going at the moment. Graphic T shirts
are huge and all I want to wear is T
(24:01):
shirts with my jawts. I have found the most fantastic
hand paige shorts in or.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Is that just you?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Are they? Yeah? But you know my teenager turns. I know,
as a pat of them, I'm like they look good
on MEA.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Say you look like you look like Avril Levines, I know,
like a skater boy.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
See I told you, look I'm going for She makes
this incredible hand painted art. Her name is Marcu Fernaroli
and she is a lady startup. The T shirts are phenomenal.
They are so well priced for the quality that they are.
I'm wearing on now, but I've been collecting them.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I really like that.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, I have bought a ton of them for myself,
for everyone I know, for my kids. I don't even
know how to explain them. They've just got all different
designs on them.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
They're not fussy.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
No, and here's a tear bold. As we've learned from
our colors this year, white doesn't suit everybody, so I
keep buying white T shirts with graphics on them, and
then they don't actually suit me. So what she does
is she's got a few and different colors, but she's
got this off white that a lot of hers come in,
and they're quite boxy. They're over sized. I buy them large.
She also has a boxy crop for height challenge. People
(25:14):
like you two like a giant and like me, I'm
just a glamozon. No, I'm sorry, I'm a scapaboy. Anyway,
I highly recommend. It's called Maku the label and Marcus
Art is her instagram m A k U s a RT.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You know, last week I met an out louder at
an event I was doing, and she couldn't stop commenting
on how much shorter I was than she thought. And
then she had this like realization. She was like, that
means you're all short.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
We are you guys make me look tall?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
We are sure.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
I don't think you have tall energy.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
No do either, Jesse, go your recommendation.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Yeah, I mean this is all we recommend. Yes, this
is what we've.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
All been waiting for. Is my recommendation today. Look, I
have a week cleaner. Hear me out. We got back
from holiday the other day and our dog was obviously
sick because we hadn't seen in a few days. And
she was pulling focus and she vomited all over a
rug let's say six times, and then she did a
(26:16):
way upstairs, and then it was just still coming out.
It was just your back and I'd lack a pat Anyway.
We did get that sorted. But I have this week
cleaner that I've been using phrages, and it just confirmed
to me that this is one of the best products
in my house.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
The funny thing is that I was at Jesse's house
at one point yesterday when this happened, and the dog
vomited up this green thing on this beautiful cream rug.
Claire was there as well. We did not break conversation,
We did not interrupt a sentence. She just grabbed up
a week cleaner and as we kept talking, you cleaned
up the way and at the end of the it
was gone.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
And I can confirm that not only is it for wheat,
it's also ful. We've had a few incidents with vomit
with the baby. Okay, what this product promises to do
is neutralize all odors and I very very sensitive nose.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
And this all gone.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
Because you know with dogs, if they wear they're going
to go back to the same spot and we again.
And this anyway, it is called Weekleaner. The brand is
dog and it's by Doctor Litha. It's forty seven dollars,
which sounds like a lot, but it comes in a
very very big thing. I've never had to replace it.
And the trick is this the white packaging.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
You've just got a puppy.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
She needs to know she needs it immediately.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
You can get broken David Jones. It's actually a beautiful thing.
It's quite a statement piece in your home.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
But definitely, but I have a process now.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
I know this is very specific, but people with white
or carpets and wheight anyway, it's like you got dab
it up, dub up everything and you can't scrub. And
I know mea that you would want to scrub because
you're impatient, but you can't. You just got to dab
it all and then once it's all dry, you spray
your way cleaner. Then, oh, I haven't even told you
the best bit about the way cleaner. On the bottom,
(27:53):
it's got like spikes, and then you go you scrap.
You go like this, but you just said don't scrub, no, no,
because you've already got it all out.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Then you go like this and you do a bit
of a scrub scrub with your spikes at.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
The boy, you don't have to use water to like
wash out.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
I might get a little bit of water on like
paper towel while I'm dubbing, id dab dab, and then
do a bit of a little scratchy scratch with the
bottom of the thing and then dab dab dab and
my cream rug. You could not tell that I had
six days.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, you know what else?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I need? That domestic god, I am every you know.
I've been having my green smoothies for breakfast I don't
know ten years now, throwing them downstairs about every four
to six weeks. I won't put the lid on properly.
Yesterday I was so loving my outfit. And I was
sitting there and I just picked it up and it
just fell all over my lap and all over the floor.
(28:40):
I'm just like, oh not again.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Well, then you need to use and I have recommended
this before.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It is very hard to get out of carpet.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Yes, carpet, but as a domestic goddess on this show,
I have recommended the Vanish stain remover pink thing that'll
get out of my clothes.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
For your clothes, but then use my way cleaner to
get it.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Out to get out of the carpet.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, cool, wanted to tell you something interesting, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I'm watching It's all boring until your dog ways on
the carpet this weekend holiday.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
I'm watching a show on Netflix with Brent called Black Doves.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
This morning a man was killed on the South Bank.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
It was he was murdered. Was I the target?
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You might have compromised yourself and now it's time to.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Get or Hello Dolly the fucking Shotgune. Yes, it's all
I had on me.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Thank you for coming back if it was anyone else
but her, or you.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Promised me that you will keep my family safe and
you will keep me.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Alive and I need to watch it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yes, you do. Particularly. I don't think you're a Slow
Horses person, are you? You should be? I think you'd
like that. I think there are three seasons now of
Slow Horses. It's really good.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Something about the name slow turns me on.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
I know it's really great. Slow Horses is a British
spy drama. This is a British spy drama. So Black
Doves is British spy drama. Nightler has just dropped on Netflix.
It stars Kira Knightley Sarah Lancashire, who everyone would know
from Happy Valley.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
The main one, the main one that is it's the
best show.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
And Ben was sure, who is, among other things, the
voice of Paddington Bear, but is also a really good British.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Well, I like this whole anything Well you've ever recommended
it is probably not.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
It is a little bit violent, but then I feel
like your tolerance for that since we went to see
the substance has kind of risen.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
What's it like, Well, it's like hospital.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I've watched that. So it opens with this isn't a
spoiler because it's the setup for the whole show. Kiera
Knightley appears to be in the first five minutes of
the show, like the perfect British politician's wife. Oh remember
that one with Sianna Miller in it, the one with
the where she was married to a little bit like that.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Anatomy of a scandal is great anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Kiera Knightley appears to be the perfect polished politician's wife.
She's got these two little cute blonde twins. She lives
in this beautiful, very posh London house. Her husband is
the Foreign Secretary in the British government. Blah blah, blah,
blah blah. You very quickly find out that Kira Knightley
is a spy and that she has been living a
(31:14):
double life for at least a decade. You just had
the children with this guy as part of the whole thing,
right like, and then does no, well not so far.
So that's like the setup. You find out that it's
because it starts with a couple of murders, not really
gruesome murders, but murders, and then you see how they
all tie together and it's a spy drama. So it's
then all these weird characters come in. Sarah Lancasher is
(31:37):
the spy master like the Boss Lady, but you don't
know that at first. And Ben with Share is like
this hit man guy. It's really engaging, pacy like page
turning and English so great, but it is spy ish
and a little bit suspenseful violence. Oh no, this is
Shara Knightley is great. You would love it, Jesse for sure,
(31:57):
me and might love it, David Jackal.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Should I also watch well.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
No, you'll hate that too many but out Loud as
her watching it all. It's just so good.
Speaker 4 (32:07):
After the break date, night Deadlines and Holly's Confession, It's
our best and Worst of the Week.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop new segments of Mom
and Me are out Loud, just for Mamma Me As
subscribers follow the link in the show notes to get
your daily dose of out Loud and a big thank
you to everyone who is already subscribed. It's time for
(32:36):
our Best and Worst of the Week, the part of
the show where we share a little more from our
personal lives about things big and small that have happened
to us. I've got a really sad worst this week.
I went to a memorial for a new friend who
died in an accident on her farm a few weeks ago.
(32:56):
Her name was Lisa Ronson. She was the CMO of Medibank.
She'd also worked at in marketing for Cole's and David
Jones and Beza, and she'd done these and the most
incredible things Westpac. And I met her because we've been
doing some work with Medibank, and I did a sometimes
I go in and will do like a mock no filter,
(33:18):
like an in conversation with her, where you know, I
sort of get to know these people a little bit better.
And I did that about four weeks ago, and we
just kind of hit it off. She's the most amazing
woman with the same age, and you know, she was
talking about this farm that she has at Dalesford that
she loves. She and her husband had sort of restored it.
(33:38):
And she was originally from Sydney and she had a son, Corben,
who's like twenty two or twenty three. It just was
like a really amazing conversation and I just we just clicked.
And she died very suddenly a few weeks ago, and
I went to the memorial services one at her farm
in Victoria, and then there was one in Sydney this week.
(33:59):
And back to that thing of being part of a village,
Like I didn't know her barely at all, and there
were people who obviously knew her incredibly well. And what
I couldn't believe I would have been about was the
cricket ground. There would have been about five or six
hundred people there. And what struck me about those things
and funerals are always it was a memorial service, but
(34:20):
they're always like happy and sad, and you really get
to know someone through the people who speak about them
and the slide shows. And she grew up in Parramatta.
Her high school friend, best friend sort of said these
amazing things about how she was always just so ambitious
and what struck me so many people spoke about her,
and she had so many male friends, like she was
(34:42):
absolutely a woman's woman. She had this really close group
of girlfriends, but she was also friends with a lot
of really interesting, successful, dynamic men who all said she
was one of my closest friends. And she was just
so much larger than life. She was so beautiful. It's
just such a tragedy. It's one of those things that
(35:03):
makes you think, like why, yeah, the shock of it anyway,
my heart goes out to her husband Chris, and her
son Ben, and her family and everybody who knew and
loved her. So that was my worst. My best is
just so trivial. I had to give a speech last
week at my daughter's old high school, and it really
(35:24):
sort of weighed on me and trying to get that right.
And I'd forgotten I hadn't been on one of those
long deadlines for a really long time, probably since i'd
written a book. Our life and my work tends to
happen on much shorter increments, and I'd forgotten the absolute
relief of not being on deadline anymore, having completed something
that's hanging over your head for a really long time.
And because I've not, of course I've known about that.
(35:46):
I had to give this speech for months, and of
course I left it to the last weekend, and then
it wasn't working and I had to rewrite it and
rewrite it and rewrite it, and the panic. But it's
all of the months that I had that I knew
I should be writing it, that I wasn't, that I
felt guilty that I wasn't. Yeah, And it's like the
relief of just not having that guilt.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Do you feel like it's got to be six months
worth of goodness, when really, you know, it's better if
they give it to you on a Friday and it's
due Monday, because then you're like, I only have the
pressure of a weekend.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Because they say that creativity is about your creative thing,
but it's within a time frame. Yeah, because otherwise you'd
never hadn't done anything, you could just work on it forever.
More So, Yeah, I'm just relieved that that's behind me
my worst.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
The other day, I was showing Luca pictures on my
phone of Luna just doing silly things, and he saw
all these like really blurry photos and he went, what
are they of? And I said, oh, that's from when
I was at the playground and the kids took my
phone and he said what and I said kids. He
said what kids? And I said, well, they like because
on the back of my phone is a sticky thing
(36:49):
that you can stick to with little suck, with little suctions,
and the kids at the park love my phone and
they I have realized just.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Other people's kids.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
I don't know how to say no to other people's children,
so I'm being bullied in parks. And I had to
admit to Luca that I get stuck in conversations with
four year olds. They tell me things and they say things,
and I don't really know how to react. But it's
like they think because I'm often on the equipment because
Luna is so little, so I'm helping her with the slide,
they're like, oh, another kid, and they come up to
me and go, I can pick up my twelve year
(37:17):
old cousin, and I'm like, that's just not it's.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Not a very interesting.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
Yeah. I think that they think that child they want
to chat and then they go into my pocket and
they get my phone out.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
You're kidding.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
I'm like, I like half keep an eye on them,
but I don't know how to say to someone else's kid.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Can I have my I'm the village.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
I need boundaries for the people.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Other people's kids are intimidating.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
They're really intimidating on.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Them to like you, even if you've never met them before.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I want to be that mean lady at the park
said something mean to me.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Yeah, yeah, I try and be really and I do
like the company of kids, but I stealing.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Stations at the park with mothers when I've got Luna
and they ask me how old she is and I
never know no because I can never remember no, And
they always look at me funny. They're like, how old
are you? How old is she? And I'm like, God,
how old is she? I think she was born in June,
maybe July.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
My best is. I went away for a long weekend.
That's why I wasn't on the show on Monday. And
I have a friend who lives about three hours south
of Perth, and he's lived there for years, and.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
I keep can I ask why he lives three hours
south of Perth, Like is it family there? He moved,
their tree changed for him.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
He moved there for his fiance. So she is from
Perth and she always wanted to go and move to
this place. And I've seen photos and like he tells
me about the beautiful beaches and it's it's right near
Margaret River, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I
sort of got it. But I wanted to go on
this trip to go and see him, so I booked it.
I organized it. I was in a call of the trip.
I did the Airbnb, I did all the flights. It
(38:47):
was us, It was Claire, Rorian, Matilda and my mum
came along as.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
To a village.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
We took a village.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
She goes nowhere without her.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
I need the whole village.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
So we all go and we arrive and I was like,
this is them and I have I have traveled everywhere
in Australia. Name place, I've been there. This is the
most beautiful place I've ever been to in Australia.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
It's because, Lord, how island is I been?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
I can't even I've done Great Berry Reef, I've done Anti,
I've done everywhere. So he lives right on a place
called Smith's Beach, And when we walked down onto Smith's Speech,
we went, this is the most beautiful beach I've been to.
The whitest sand, white blue, clear visibility water, totally empty.
But it's quite bushland as well, like it's on and
on the Airbnb we're staying. At the end of our
(39:30):
street were kangaroos. There were just all these kangaroos that
we went and visited every morning.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Do you like nature?
Speaker 4 (39:36):
I like beaches. I really really like, actually like beach.
But then what was so brilliant about this place? Not
only that it's got the fanciest restaurants, so it's not
like here in the middle of nowhere called so we
stayed in a place called Dunsborough. And the reason why
we went as well is because for the first time
they have done a direct flight from Sydney to Bustleton.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
What I was worried about before was I'd got a perfle.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
But now does this direct thing and it's just opened
up this whole area of WA. Ran into so many
out louders, most of whom I'm in Dunsborough, I would say,
have you seen a park?
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Because they had little kids.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
When I was like, when you're on holiday with little kids,
it's just all about where's the post.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yeah. It was just the most brilliant long weekend.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
It was lovely.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
If you're planning a holiday, please look it up. It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Oh what was your worst? My worst is that I'm
a complete hypocrite. And on Saturday we did our Christmas decorations,
which was a backflip for me because it was a
whole week earlier. And you know how I made a
big thing, didn't I.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
I thought you said you were allowed to do it
in December.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Well from December the first it's acceptable, okay.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
But I still not very classic.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I I deally would like to wait till this weekend.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
It's basically Christmas now.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
My worst is said, I'm a hypocrite, and I bloody
loved it. Where I live, we go to a Christmas
tree farm and you cut down your own tree. Love
that shit, have to dodge snakes. It was thirty three degrees.
It was the hottest. I'm sorry out loud. As you
live in Britain, you don't understand like Christmas in Australia.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Have you adjusted? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Sure, oh yeah, It's been many years and I'm used
to it, but it is there's still something very strange
about because I love a real Christmas tree. And you
know how we see all those New York movies. Are
they dragging the fur trees down the street through the
snow with their wooly hats on, And then we're like,
we're kind of pretending to reenact that in a stinking
hot paddock in the middle of the bush with the
(41:21):
snakes and spiders.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
And then we have a hot Christmas lunch and the
kids are.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Like it's so hot, and I'm like, shut up, Christmas spirit,
push on, let's go. Anyway. It was really fun, but
why you decide to go early. Well A, it's the
peer pressure from all the out louders who told me
I was a snob, and also the kids. The kids
are like, they're so excited, right, they're so even now
they're so old, They're like, just let's do it, let's
do it. And then they know that we're allowed to
(41:45):
play Christmas music. Then we've met I've played poor Brent Street.
I am very strict. There is no Christmas music all
out until we're driving home from picking up the tree.
That's when how to make gravy goes off. A conversation
about that at another time, and then we put the
tree up, and then I make Brent and me we
put up all our solar lights outside, so the whole
house is flashing. I'm so exciting. I love it. Anyway,
(42:06):
that was my worst is that I'm a hypocrite. Is
actually though Brett and I went on date night on Friday,
me and my elderly boyfriend. Only wonderful things about the
kids being older is that you can leave them, you
can leave them in the house and so you can
go and do things like it's Friday, it's half past four,
Let's knock off work a bit early and go and
(42:28):
see Gladiator. We've been dying to go and see Gladiator together,
so we went to see Gladiada two together and look,
it is a ridiculous movie, but it's totally enjoyable. Paul
Mescal like, I don't know quite what accent he was doing,
but he was hot. I Kadro Pascal is one of
my absolute favorites, and he is underused but very hot.
The person who steals this whole movie is Denzel Washing.
(42:52):
Entirely belongs to him. He's chewing the scenery like. He
looks like he's having the best time of his life.
It's a lot of fun, but he's two and a
bit hours.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Come on, do you check your fine?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Only to see if the kids were harassing me? And
then we went and had dumplings, and then the kids
start harassing me because there was a thunderstorm, so I
had left them at home, but then they started going
come home now, please understorm. I'm like, damn it, but
great date night with the boyfriend. Recommend Gladiated too if
you are prepared to suspend your like, is it a
really good movie?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Is it a really fun couple of hours?
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
I think I'm gonna have to say, and that is
all we've got time for out louder Is, thank you
so much for being with us for another week, and
a massive thank you to our team who put these
things together. Mis Mia, mius Mia and Jesse readers out big.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Thank you to our team group Executive producer and protective
hag Ruth Divine. She is the village, but then she
gets really tired and she wants to move out.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
Executive producer Emmeline Gazillis likes the idea of village, but
only if she can be selective and vote people off
if needed.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Our audio producer is Leah Porgoes. She likes her private
space too much to have people popping in and out
whenever they please.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
It is true you have to tolerate a part for
life if you are truly committing to the village.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Not a fan of a popul No.
Speaker 4 (44:04):
I see in the village there were huts, and I
don't think the hut's had doors. And our video producer
is Josh Green. He doesn't believe in the self made person.
Here's where he is to date. Because of his village
and with the support of those around.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Him, he wins his top of the leaderboard for nice people.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Love jobs.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
We know you're not quite early to say goodbye by
we thought we would leave you with a bit of
a conversation we had about the trends we love and
the trends that need to go immediately. It was our
ins and Outs for twenty twenty five. May I feel
as though you will genuinely really enjoy Holly and I
being trendssetters. You're gonna I will explain to you why
broken arms are in for.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Twenty twenty five. There's your hoo.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
It's so good.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
I saw this thing recently where someone said, when was
the last time you saw a kid with a broken arm?
Speaker 3 (44:52):
Think about it. Oh, so when I was a kid.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Albo's going to bring that back with the social media band. Yes,
they're going to band social media and bring back kids
with broken arms. This is this is what we're getting.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Yes, so we've seen when.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
I was in primary school, if someone didn't have a
broken arm, that had a broken leg.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
There's a link in the show notes to hear that episode.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Shout out to any Mum and mea subscribers listening. If
you love the show and you want to support us,
Subscribing to MoMA Mia is the very best way to
do so. There's a link in the episode description.
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