December 17, 2025 • 44 mins
There are names we will never forget from the Bondi attacks. On today's show, Jessie, Holly and Amelia want to honour just a few of the many heroes who risked — and in some cases lost — their lives trying to save others in the worst terror attack ever to happen on Australia's soil. And we want to tell you a little bit about what it feels like in Sydney, and at Bondi at the moment.
Not everyone is able to turn their attention elsewhere this week, but for those who can and want to, we're having some other conversations, too. Like, Taylor Swift, Timothee Chalamet and the era of being able to say, "Yeah, I'm pretty good at this" without cringe.
And, the power of gathering. Being together has never felt more urgent, but at whose house, and who's bringing the cake? Even if you hate hosting, it's hard to avoid at this time of year and you know what makes it better? Good guests. We tell you how to be one, and Amelia shares a thank-you note rule that impressed us all.
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What To Listen To Next:
- Listen to our latest episode: The Unspoken Etiquette Of Friendship
- Listen: A Sunday Evening At Bondi Beach
- Listen: The Rudest Question You've Definitely Asked This Week
- Listen: Jessie's Twin Pregnancy Update: They're Doing What Now?
- Listen: The Performers Who Have Had Enough Of Australia
- Listen: Things You Fantasise About When You're Single
- Listen: The Most Surprising Relationship Red Flag
- Listen: The Seven Year Friendship Rule
- Listen: The 6 Different Types Of People Pleasers
- Connect your subscription to Apple Podcasts
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
You're listening to I'm ONMA mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hello out louders, This is a heavy, sad week in Australia.
Talking to you all in so many different places all
over the world. As I know lots about loud as
are is a real profound privilege for us when things
are dark, and we actually do a lot of talking
off mic about how best to honor that. Today, Jesse,
(00:34):
Amelia and I want to talk a bit about how
it feels to be so close to the center of
this tragedy, not because it's about us. The real pain
here belongs to Australia's Jewish community and to everybody affected
directly by what happened at Bondai Beach on Sunday. But
we are here and we're close to many people who
were affected, and we want to talk about some of
the names we've learned this week that we will never forget.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
And then we're going to move away from.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That darkness just for a little window of time and
bring you some other conversations. Being able to do that
is not something that I know everyone has the ability
to do today, but we also know it's what some
of you need. Jesse, you and I both went down
to Bondai yesterday separately.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Tell me about why you went.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Luca and I both sort of looked at each other
and went, this is something we feel like we need
to do.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Luca is Jewish and born and raised Jewish.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And unborn and raised in these in the.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
As suburbs, exactly right. And so we went to Bondai
and the first thing that struck me was the the
eeriness of the silence. One word I would never use
to describe Bondai is quiet, like from the traffic. There's
(01:53):
always music blaring, there's people talking. It was just silence.
You could also tell that everyone was slightly on edge
because as we were standing there looking at the memorial
and there are just so many flowers, a phone would
go off or someone would speak a little loudly, and
(02:13):
you could tell that that was making some people uncomfortable,
and no doubt, because we were surrounded by people who
were actually in Bondai when that happened, and members of
the Jewish community who are on hire alert right now,
and looking at the flowers. There were little teddy bears
(02:34):
from the hospital that I noticed, and messages and it
was just an incredibly somber atmosphere. What struck me is
you're sort of walking down there in silence and just
it's swarms of people with flowers putting them down, and
you see someone in a school uniform, and someone you know,
(02:58):
a member of the Jewish community, a Muslim, a surfar
just the cosmopolitan of all the different people who were
meeting there, and it was really.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
Affecting.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
But I think a really important thing to go and
stand there and process it. I have a lot of
people who BONDI means a lot to them, and they're
not close to Bondai right now and they wish they were.
And so to look over and see there's a black
tarp set up that sort of covers whether now crime
scene is and you know, the bridge is only meters away,
(03:40):
and a lot of people are sitting on the grass
reflecting and you know, talking or remembering certain things that happened.
I have friends that were I have a friend who
was in the bathroom in the pavilion when it happened,
and she's getting her head around it. And yesterday everyone
(04:01):
Luca and I spoke to from we met up with
a friend of his and we're talking to someone else
on the phone and you go, how are you and
they say, ah, my friend was shot. My colleague was
a first responder. I have someone who I went to
school with who is currently in surgery. Like the closeness
(04:22):
of this and the victims, but also there are a
lot of people who are injured in hospital, who are shot,
who are looking at potential amputation, who will looking at
like just the horrific ongoing effects and the ripple impact
on the community is just can't be overstated.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I went down there because I don't live in Sydney anymore,
as many out loud as well know, but for twenty
five years I lived in these suburbs. I lived in
could you, which is a few beaches over. And as
to your point about a lot of people who that
place means a lot to them, but they're not around,
that was very much. I felt very I went and
(05:04):
I put my flowers down there, and there were people everywhere,
and there were a lot of members of the Jewish
community who were over near the memorial who were offering
to pray, with people who are giving food out, who
were talking and gathering and being together, which you know,
it was so important. I went and sat because I
don't know, I was very profoundly moved, obviously by everything
(05:27):
that's happening, but this city means an enormous amount to me,
and you know, it's Australia opened its arms to me.
I'm an immigrant who's lived here for decades now, but
it's profoundly a part of me. And it made me
really think about that yesterday when I was sitting there
and I know, I've got Australian friends who live in
London and they're all thinking about Bondai, and I was
(05:51):
just sort of thinking about.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Just our beautiful city.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And you know, we talked about this on Monday, if
you haven't listened to the episode we made with me
other three of us and mea Friedman. On Monday, we
did talk about how it sounds almost try and cliche
to go this sort of thing doesn't happen here, And
I don't mean that, but I just think that when
something so horrific unfolds it somewhere that you know so well,
(06:17):
whether you're still.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
There or not.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
It made me feel very protective of this special place.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Anyway, what you said about the beach being quiet was
so interesting because it made me realize I live on
a beach far from One day on the other side
of the city, and I have never seen the beach
so quiet as in the last couple of days. I
think people are feeling that they don't even want to
(06:45):
go to the beach right now, because.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
It's almost what happened is the antithesis of the beach,
which is that you go there too because you feel
care free and relaxed. And it's almost like the weather
over the last few days have reflected back a city
that is melancholy and dark and windy and stormy.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Like to go in and there there is nothing that says.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
There is nothing festive about this time of year, and
that gathering of people and to hear a lot of
the Jewish community are saying prayers and singing songs and
there was something so a motive about that that it's like,
these are prayers that have you know, I've sat in
(07:33):
my in law's house and said it over Shabbat dinner,
or at my wedding. We had a blessing in the
days before with a rabbi, and you know, people from
the synagogue and to hear like these moments of my
life that have been so critical and I've felt I've
(07:53):
felt so welcomed to then hear that in a totally
different tone, and to also go, there's bravery and showing
up to Bondi and displaying and expressing your judaism today.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
And I just had so much respect for.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
The people around me so much, And you know, there
were signs of there were people in the bars, there
were people, and I kind of I also thought that
was really good, Like it's, yeah, I mean, everybody's so
lost if you're not directly affected and so but everybody's
so lost of how best to express their shock. But
also people are resilient and that it is. It's this
(08:36):
strange mix. But one of the things that I felt
very much there is I walked across the bridge that
I've walked across a thousand times but now is so
iconic from all the footage right and I've seen from
the videos that we've been consuming over the past few days,
I've seen some of the most awful and some of
the bravest, bravest things I've ever seen unfold so close
(08:58):
to that bridge. And I was thinking about that when
I was there, because on Monday's show, we obviously talked
about Ahmed El Ahmed, who is the hero who has
gone around the world. He is still in hospital recovering
from another surgery on his shoulder after being shot. But
also what we've found out in the past couple of
(09:19):
days is that there were many other heroes. I mean,
we talked about this on Monday, that the fact that
really Ahmed's bravery shone a light on how many people
did incredible things on that day, but not all of
them tragically made it. The couple yesterday that film of
them was widely circulating are called Boris and Sophia German,
(09:44):
and they're a couple in their sixties and they were
literally just walking down the street and they saw the gunman,
the older gunman get out of the car with the rifle,
and Boris tackled him, just straight out tackled him and
managed to get the gun from him. Was not to
the ground. Sophia ran to him. They're a couple who've
(10:04):
been married for thirty four years. He's a retired mechanic,
she works at Australia Post. Unfortunately, the gunman, as we
have learned, had many more than one firearm and he
reached for another gun and they.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Were both shot and died.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
It's unthinkable, but their family overlease statements said that they
got some piece from knowing that they died in each
other's arms and also while committing such an extraordinary bravery.
Also Reuven Morrison, who's sixty one years old and he's
identified as the other man in that now very famous
video where Ahmed is wrestling the gun from the gunman
(10:48):
and he comes up behind him and he throws a brick,
and he again is a person who's running towards danger
and he was shot and tragically is one of the lost. Also,
I think that these stories of bravery are so important
because I think that as we're talking about this con
using time, the worst and the best are all there
(11:13):
for us.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
And there wasn't There wasn't one here, there were countless.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I heard a story that so deeply moved me. I'm
going to try and get through this without crying. Her
name is Jessica Rosen, and we need to know her name.
Jessica Rosen went with her family to Hannaka by the
Sea and when gunshots rang out, her husband was running
away with their toddler, who was one and a half,
(11:40):
and she was searching for her three year old son.
Can you imagine in that moment you hear gunshots. You
know where your toddler is, but you don't know where
your three year old is. And she's looking for a
three year old and she notices a little girl screaming
who happens to be three. Her name is Gigi, And
(12:01):
in that moment, she decided to lay on top of
this little girl for the entire time until the shooting
stopped and the girl's dad came to pick up Chigi.
Keep in mind that she still doesn't know where her
own three year old is when she is doing this,
And there is a video of her lying on top
(12:22):
of this girl. The gunman is in the background, and
there is audio. The audio in this video is her
repeating I got you, I got you while she's lying
on top of this girl.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
I just think.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
And she says, we're going to be nice and safe
and nobody is going to hurt us, okay. And she
sounds as calm as if she's saying can you brush
your teeth, or as calm as it's time for dinner.
And I just can't believe what it took for her
to speak to this girl that she's never met before
(13:02):
in that tone of voice, while not knowing what her
own three year old is She wrote about it on
LinkedIn afterwards, and she is fine. She says she has
some bruises, but she's otherwise fine. Gigi is fine. Her
own three year old is fine.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
The bravery of so many adults who are there, who
literally threw their bodies on top of children was just
absolutely extraordinary. We do, of course, have to mention one
more name that I don't think anyone in Australia will forget,
which is that of Matilda, who is the ten year old.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I don't think that Australia will ever get Matilda's face
out of our minds. She is just the most beautiful
little face.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Ten years old. And her parents spoke yesterday. They're not
disclosing their surname, and they said that Matilda was called
Matilda because the family came from Ukraine and she was
their first Aussie, their first Australia child.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
She loved bees.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Bee was her middle name, her nickname, So they want
people to share bees to remember Matilda.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I am I just yeah, there are so many of these.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Of course, the people we've talked about today are not
the end of it.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Let me mention one more. There's a photo someone captured
of Jackson Dolan, who is a lifesaver who was photographed
running barefoot with a medical bag down Bondei Road from Tamarama,
running towards danger. That image just captures the bravery of
(14:33):
so many people.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
And that those lifeguards, many of them were first responders
on the scene. That is not what they are trained for,
that is not what they were expecting to see on
that on that day, there's a man who is not
sharing his name. He spoke to the I read about
it in the AFR and he's going by ab because
(14:57):
he is a refugee who came to Australia and doesn't
have a permanent visa And in fact, he spent the
night before in custody.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
He has had criminal charges, he is awaiting a.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Court date and on Sunday he found himself in Bondaie
and there he has appeared in footage. And for a
while people didn't know what he was doing. They were
very confused by his actions. But what they've now pieced
together is that he got out of this suber or
this taxi and walked over and hid and was watching
(15:31):
what was going on and eventually did spring up onto
the bridge. And you know, one of the gunmen was
dead at that point, the other was injured, and he
just wanted to kick the gun away so that he
couldn't access it anymore. And then he kind of flings
his arms up to go, I'm not And he has
(15:53):
children of his own, he has a family and was.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Very aware the danger that he was putting himself in.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And it was.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Another police officer who was not in uniform who yelled out,
he's not with them, He's not with them. And the
fact that you know that man, this flawed hero is
they're calling him. He's not perfect, but he knew what
was needed of him in that moment and was so brave.
(16:23):
In fact, people came up and started kicking him because
they thought that he was part of it and he
was just saying no, no, no, I was trying to
do the right thing.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So so the whole sort of good is like, I
don't know, as you say, flawed here, but unlikely elderly gentleman,
terrified mothers, you know, like bronze lifeguards.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Like it's just well, it's kind of a microcosm of
Australia here and it's a migrant country and it's full
of people from different backgrounds who all had an expectation
that they could enjoy the evening at the beach. And
what strikes me about all of this is that video
(17:08):
means that we have this unprecedented access to the atrocity
and the horror of what happened on Sunday, but we
also know so much more about We've also seen so
much of humanity at its very best alongside humanity at
its very worst through all this video footage and documentary
(17:31):
footage of what happened. I feel like it's important to
say that there are many people today who can't turn
away from this because they're directly affected by it. But
for people who were not directly affected, experts do say
it's important to protect yourself and to not consume too
(17:52):
much information or footage. Get the facts by all means,
understand what happened, bear witness to what happened, but at
some point you need to protect yourself as well and
your own mental health in this situation. So it's in
that spirit that we decided that for the show today,
we did want to talk about some other things too,
(18:15):
so we'll be back in a moment.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
There are two celebrities that are dominating the news cycle
this week.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Taylor Swift has a documentary.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
We are going to get to that, and Timothy Challa
May is being interviewed and snippets of it are going viral.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
Sometimes you get to call things as it is, as
they are and not tiptoe, especially as you get older.
I'm glad to be thirty. I want to look back
on my interviews when I'm fried and mentally anguished in
my sixties and look back at my interviews and ely
taking Oh man, I was really speaking the truth and
not afraid of the team, like this is probably my
(19:10):
best performance, you know, and that it's been like seven
eight years that I feel like I've been handing in
really really committed, top of the line performances. And it's
important to say it out loud because the discipline and
the work ethic I'm bringing these things I don't want
people to take for granted. I don't want to take
for granted this is really some top level shit.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Do you think he's taking the piss Okay?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I do.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
That is part of my theory is that I think,
like everyone else, want a press tour in twenty twenty five,
I think that man is in character because Marty Supreme
and will no more when we see the film. But basically,
he was this table tennis player who his ego and
the fact he thought he was the best in the
world was part was part of his appeal. And so
(19:58):
there's this theory that is he just playing that.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
He has of course, I mean famously last year when
he was angling for an oscar for the Dylan movie
Complete Unknown's Thank You Amelia, I'd forgotten its name. He
also made it very clear I think we talked about
it on the show, that he wanted that oscar, that
he thought he deserved it, that he wanted to be
one of the greats. So I think he is a
little bit in character. But I also think the self belief.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Part is maybe because he said during that because he
won in February the Best Actor at the Screen Actors
Guild Awards, and he said, I know, the classiest thing
would be to downplay the effort that went into this role.
But the truth is this was five and a half
years of my life. The truth is I'm really in
pursuit of greatness. I know that people don't usually talk
like that, but I want to be one of the greats.
(20:46):
I'm inspired by the greats. The difference here is that
it's talking about his ambition, it's not talking about the
outcome of the performance, whereas now even the way he's
dressed his demeanor.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And it's also interesting that when he wanted the Oscar
for playing Bob Dylan, a famously eccentric, reclusive artiste, he
was not photographed on the red carpet in Orange Pleasure
with his godsfriend Kylie Jenner. Exactly when he is trying
to present himself as a very sort of cocky on
top of the world table tennis yes player, famously extroverted,
(21:20):
he does do that.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
And the response to this press tour has been some
people calling him a try hard There have been those
who are just paved away.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
He says, I know I tried.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
I know, I tried really really hard.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Blown away by his confidence, and my first reaction was
a woman could never sit there.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
And whether in character or not, there's a great.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Clip going around of Kristen Stewart saying, and a few
female actors have made this point that when it comes
to method, when it comes to staying in character or
like going home and still speaking in the accent, women
don't have that luxury. You would just look like an
ut wanker. But Holly, you've been taking one for the
(22:06):
team and watching the ear Is documentary.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
It wasn't a punishment.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
And what have you noticed about the tone of Taylor
Swift's behind the scenes project.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Well, here's the thing, because you know, I would like
to lean into your theory, you know I would, my
feminist heart would like to lean into your theory that
a woman could never But I watched the first two
episodes of the Era's documentary. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and
I actually recommend it if everybody needs a feel good distraction.
There are two episodes that are already dropped. I believe
(22:36):
there are two more coming, and then another two after that.
She's strip feeding in Taylor.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
I will absolutely be watching that over the brain.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
It made me wish I'd gone to the tour, No,
because I didn't, but I don't think any of us did.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Well, we're all faubo queens here.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
But the thing that's very striking about it is so
it's very high production values. They followed her for most
of the second leg of the tour. It is behind
the scenes, so there's lots of stuff about how it
all came to be, which is fascinating. It actually opens
just as her show in Vienna is called off due
(23:08):
to a terrorist threat, and there's a lot there about
that and about the fear around that, which is really
interesting too. But there is no way to watch these
two episodes without thinking that Taylor Swift is absolutely amazing,
like next level amazing. She basically runs a small nation.
That is the impression you get.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Does she tell you that or does are we shown?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Now? Well?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Then this is the thing that I find really interesting
is so I'm watching it and I'm going, oh my god,
how amazing is Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I mean, I know she's amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
But look at all the people she employs. Look at
how she treats them, look at all these amazed Look
at what she's done for the world, bringing together all
these kids.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Da da da da da.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Look at the commitment, look at the hard work, look
at the training, look at that. And then you're like, wow,
I didn't know that we were allowed to make a
six part documentary series about how amazing we are? Like
that was my uncharitable thought. But I'm calling myself out
for it. Yeah, I think there's a bit of and
maybe it's gen x. Your my millennial friends. I would
like you to tell me maybe it's gen x that
(24:08):
I find that. I just that that it's like, oh,
but you're like boasting your big upping yourself, you're something,
and I think that maybe it is okay, and maybe
that's great.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Well, I want to know about a particular scene in
that I've heard about, which is so apparently she gave
her about one hundred and fifty million dollars US dollars
of bonuses associated with the Ears tour or thereabouts, and
apparently there's a scene in it where she is handing
out the money and how does that come off? Because
I hear that and it sounds a bit cringy.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
That's the thing that's interesting, right, So it's not just
a scene, it's a whole sequence, because she explains off
camera that at the end of every leg of the talk,
because obviously it's chopped up into legs, they everybody gets
a bonus and she handwrites them a card, and in
the most Taylor Swift thing of all times, she also
signs seals the envelope with a hand pressed wax stamp.
(25:06):
So there's a lot of takes her weeks so she's
a lot of footage of her sitting down wax stamping
all these envelopes, stacking up all the envelopes, putting them
in piles, giving them to her mom, and then her
mom's like, wow, Taylor, you hand wrote all these cards, Taylor,
And she's like, I did. So there's a lot of
exploration of it. And then you see all the dancers
stand in the circle. Not only the dancer's got this,
(25:27):
of course, the audio guys, everybody, you understand, a small
city is moving around with this. And she hands them out,
she makes a little speech, they bleep out the amount,
but then they show you all these press cuttings of
how much.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Money it was.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So how much was it for the dancers?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
They don't say that, but it's rumored to be around
one hundred thousand, but it could be even more, could
be much more. But also remember this isn't once, this
is after every tour, so this is life changing money
is how it's referred to several times. And I am
in awe of that. I mean, you know, she cops
a lot of criticism for being so rich, but I
don't have.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
To do that.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
She shares that there are a lot of people who don't.
And I've seen some writing about this show that's like
it's good because it almost shames the people who don't,
you know, well because the other hand, is it both.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
No, because if it was less than life changing money,
it would be cringe. But the fact is that this
is life changing way she is putting her money where
her mouth is.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
And this isn't the first report of that, right, Like
we know that part of the Taylor Swift story is
how she treats people who work for her. And even
I can't I'm sure I've said this on the show,
but when I was in Hamilton Island recently, one of
the tour guiys was saying, Taylor has stayed at Kualia,
that really fancy hotel, and she she didn't just stay there.
(26:46):
She took when she was in Australia, I think it
was a few years ago, she took her entire crew
and got them to all stay at this six star
resort for and it cost her millions, like to do
it right. And I didn't hear that from Taylor, you know,
Like I heard that from this random guy on Hamilton Island.
So let's not be under any illusions though that that's amazing.
(27:09):
But what she expects from them too.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Like these people are king, you know what, the level
of excellence that's required. One of the things that really
comes across in this show is like they break for
this leg before they come back to do the bit
that has tortured poets in it, and during their break
when they're supposed to be relaxing, they actually all have
to learn an entire new set. And she's demanding, and
(27:32):
she is expecting excellence, and she's a perfectionist and all
those things like that that's not shown up but never
shouty or yeah yeah, But I think that these people
are earning that money.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
And then on the other hand, you know who else
is earning money is like Amazon delivery workers or people
who work in Amazon factories, and Jeff Bezos isn't writing
them one hundred thousand dollars checks.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
So do you think that we are moving out of
a cringe era about saying, yeah, you know what, I
work hard, I'm bloody talented in a chalameat swifty kind
of way, or do you think that they're still sneer
about it.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
I wonder if less than this being a generational story,
I think it's a cultural one. I don't think an
Australian artist could ever so Hugh Jackman.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Or like.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
Kylie or even UK. I read some UK commentary and
the difference between how the UK and Australia even look
at the Timothy Shallamy things, and I think that there
are differences there. But we like humility and we like
to and to our own detriment like tall poppies, syndrome
(28:47):
and pulling people down.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Still true, I do.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
I think it's still true.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
But I don't think that Cape Blanchette is sitting around
being self deprecating about her acting ability.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
No, but Cate Blanchette, and again I've heard this through
the industry, is incredibly philanthropic with younger actors, right like
what she has done. I remember during COVID she and
I know this from a French not from a press release,
but basically the way that she provided sort of a
livable wage for actors who were out of work. If
(29:21):
Kate bland Chet made a documentary by Kate Blanchett broadcasting that,
I don't know how we'd feel different if it's like
true Australian story and it is part of it. We
interview a journalist but there is this humility, and I
don't think it's necessarily all a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
I've got different theory. Okay, timoth Vy Shallon May and
Taylor Swift are really good, like they're allowed to say
they're good. If you actually are just kind of universally
acknowledged to be really good as those two are at
acting and singing, respectively, I think you're allowed to say it.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
But like Ian Thorpe was really good and he never
made a fuss, he just won his medals.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I think it's interesting because do you feel like do
you too feel like you can you could outwardly state
being proud of your achievements to it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I'm American, so yes, so you're you know, I'm Australian
Americans so, but the American snydemy says.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, Jesse, I know the answer to this
for you.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Okay, reserve in Australia, we're a reserve that for our
performance review or our LinkedIn profile, the two places where
either we're going to get hired or we're asking for
more money in a private environment, and even that is excruciating.
But I have friends who have moved to the US
tried self deprecation. It doesn't want got looked out like
they were pathetic, and like, if you're such a piece
(30:51):
of shit, then why are you at this prestigious academy.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I want you to resolve something for next year. I
want you to slip into a conversation with someone you've
never met before, just one conversation that you are a
best selling author. I just want you to do and
see how it goes. Look, I have made her so uncomfortable.
Do we have to end this segment now? After the break?
(31:17):
Hosting is hard and why we love it anyway? Alison Roman,
who is, as you know Jesse, the millennial patron saint
of cooking. Yeah, think of her as kind of like
the im parmiter of your generation. Nelly's excuse me, wrote.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
A newsletter jmiel my Jella.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Perhaps she wrote a newsletter that I absolutely love this week.
It was called hosting is hard and that's okay because
we like it. And I'm going to read what she
said because she's such a good writer. She wrote around
this time of year, there are a lot of things
to read about hosting, namely, how to do it without stress,
how to do it without fuss, or inconvenience. Babe, I
(32:05):
have news. A lot of hosts is stressful. Do I
need to breathe this in an American accent? I feel
like I have news. A lot of hosting is stressful.
It is inconvenient, and that's oh my god, that accents
and that's okay. My love hosting, my cooking is an
act of generosity and care.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Is that like the captain of the Australian cricket team,
Pat Commons saying backyard cricket is fun because I like him.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
For me, then I'll say that there's a portion that
will not know that name. But is it fun for
Allison because.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Because she's a famous thing good cook?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (32:40):
Or is it less fun?
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Because if I get invited to Alison Romans for a
dinner party, my expectations are high, whereas if I get
invited to Holly's for.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Dinner, expectations are low. For the vegetables are high.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
I gave you a h of sources.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
She's the hospitality abilities, which so fair.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Look Alison. She has a lot of good idea in
this for how to quickly and easily host over the holidays.
She suggests hosting a ham party where you get supermarket
bread rolls and you make a pile of them and
you just say, enjoy the ham and the bread rolls,
and then you serve some ice creaming little bowls for dessert.
Just you're looking at me skeptical.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
It's just that in the pictures she'd made a tree
of rolls, and I wonder how she's stuck.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, what I wondered is that she stuck a load
of bread rolls to like a styrofoam cone. And they
look amazing. But you know what won't look amazing the
minute someone takes one off.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Yeah, then you've just got loads of styrofim. Anyway, I'm
not dissing her.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
She is.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
I love her.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Her esthetic and I always get that word a bit wrong,
but is very satisfying. It's very like old Instagram. Everything
looks beautiful that she That's exactly it lighting.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
It's like she's got an inbuilt filter.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Yeah, it's quite self serious, but in an earned way,
because it looks great.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah to the thing. If you're good, you're good.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
So I appreciate her point there, which is just hosting
is as hard as you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
This is her point, And well, actually I think her
point goes a bit further. Yeah, her basic point is
hosting is incredibly annoying, but you just got to do
it anyway. It's important. It makes you feel good and
it makes other people feel good. And she has this
good analogy. She says, we don't let the stress of
an airport a terrorist from going on vacation. That means holiday.
(34:32):
So like the trash and work and messy kitchen is
basically just the airport of the vacation, she says, deal
with it, suck it up. Holy.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I very much appreciated this sentiment because I hate hosting.
That's why I loved the sentiment, because the thing is
is I'm not I think some people are like natural hosts.
I have friends who love to host, They love to
feed people, they love to make people happy, they love
to open their homes. It's part of their personality. And
(35:01):
then there are people like Jesse and herself who get
very anxious about it. But the thing is, what Alison
Roman is one hundred percent right about is even though
I get very anxious about it, afterwards, I am so
glad it happened last Christmas. I'm sure I bought the
outlouders with it. At the time I did. I hosted Christmas,
was the first time I've done that in a very
(35:22):
long time. I had lots of friends and their children
and their dogs come to our house which is down
the coast and stay. I was sticking pineapple chunks into
oranges wrapped in silver foil, which is a very English thing.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Can you repeat that?
Speaker 3 (35:36):
You get cheese and pineapple tinned pine.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
What sort of cheese?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Cheddar cheese on a cocktail stick?
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And then otherwise.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
The receptacle to hold it all up is an orange
wrapped in silver foil.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
The TACKI nineteenth. I don't think ala eat the orange. No,
the orange is just there to holds up. You eat
the stick.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I noticed that Alison Roman's version of this was to
put lots of olives on a stick. That's the same
thing anyway. But my point is I am not natural
at this, but and I got stressed doing that.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I was worried.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And it is expensive to anyone listening to this is like,
I hate hosting. It is expensive even if people bring things.
But I was so glad I did it because the
joy of having everybody together. And I don't not going
to labor this point, but perhaps particularly this year, perhaps
particularly when things are difficult, being able to be together
is the point. And if everyone was like, hosting's too
hard but precious too much. I don't want to do
(36:33):
it all those things. If everybody did that, where are
people gathering? Not everybody can do it at a restaurant
or an app. So I appreciate Ellison's point about that,
And I also think that for those of us who
are not good at hosting and like going to other
people's houses, we could make it much easier for that
person if we knew how to be better guests.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Are you a good guest? Jesse? I like, because I
know you're not a good host.
Speaker 4 (37:01):
No, I really like being given a job. But I
think that statement makes me a bad guess.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Do you come in and say what can I do?
And walk into the.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
Kitchen because I have a thing where I also don't
want to. What I like is when the host isn't
in the kitchen and I can go all right, clear plates,
But I don't want to give the person more jobs
by unpacking the dishwasher and going where do I put
this pan? Where do I put this cup? Like I
don't want to be that annoying person. But what I
(37:31):
appreciated about this article was actually that she sort of
acknowledged that we're not just two types of people. Some
people like it, some people don't. Everyone finds stress and
stressful is kind of part of the point.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
That is so true because you love it, right, so
I love it, but it's also wildly stressful. I used
to host a Christmas party when I lived in a tiny,
one bedroom apartment in New York. Every single year I
invited everyone. The floor was always so sticky afterwards. I
don't know why, and it was a huge pain, like
(38:07):
to slap all this stuff up the stairs and like
get all the food and get all the drink. Very expensive,
as you mentioned, Holly, and I look back on those
Christmas parties. I probably hosted eight or nine of them,
and I just think that was my youth. I'm so
glad that I did that.
Speaker 5 (38:23):
And part of that is that some people are annoying.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Some people will bring something really useful and another person
will bring barely anything, and that's going to probably piss
you off.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
Some people aren't going to leave to realize.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
It's like, but all of the social dynamics and irritation
of just simply being around other people.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
It's the point.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
And also speaking on behalf of people who do ultimately
enjoy hosting. You just want to see people having a
good time. Like, honestly, I don't want people to help out.
I just want to look out at a room of
people and see them having a good time. That's it.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
That's because you're a wonderful person. It is spread the joy.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
But also, can I offer some advice to those of
us who want to be helpful to the amailiates of
the world, not necessarily directly, because to your point about
you want to have people having a good time, tips
for good guests, show your appreciation, so always the next day,
send a text. I mean, I guess in the olden
days we used to send thank you cards. I think
(39:29):
we can leave that, but send a text being like.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I don't think we can leave that. I think if
you're invited to a small dinner party, you need to
send a handwritten note in the mail yep in with
a stamp. Yes, yes, a dinner party, not a party party.
A dinner party, you need to send a note. Yes.
I'm basically Taylor Swift without the one hundred thousand dollars
(39:52):
check you're right.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Taylor Swift would do that, and she would have the
wax about you have the wax.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Anyway, show your appreciation.
Speaker 5 (40:00):
Right, show we need to pretend that I do.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Like that you mentioned one thing here you said send
it the next day. That's important. Yes, when people send
at night off, they're often drunk and it doesn't mean
as much like if you send it the next day means.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Send them send a message the next day. Also, when
you're there, express what a good time you're having, you know,
like Amelia wants to look out and see you having
good time.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
So if you're not fake.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Oh and you know what, talk to some people so
I don't have to worry like in this like anxious way.
Introduce you with some now portraits.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yeah, a few of the tips that I got from
the internet to tell me how to be a better
guess because most of them might have broken at various points.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Rs VP and don't be late very often at.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Least, but don't be early.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
You can't be early ten minutes late.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
That's a rule.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I think the big of the party, the slightly lady
you want to be.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Yeah, yeah, if you are asked to bring something into
Amelia's point, not everybody wants to you to bring something.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Bring what you're asked to bring.
Speaker 5 (40:56):
Exactly what you are asked.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Don't be like, oh, you know what would be good
this thing like no.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Day, I keep modifying these rules. I think you should
propose to bring something and say does that work? Because
it's annoying to say what can I bring? Be like,
I'm going to bring a plate, a bowl of strawberries
and some whipped cream.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
That's and I think classy, that's amazing, and I think
be really specific. So don't say I'm going to bring
a fruit platter. Say exactly, and like even get a
sense of like how how many bread rolls like that?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
That?
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Just don't ask me how many like rock melons in
your fruit.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
If you know your host, well help out as much
as you know they would want you to. Some women,
in particular, don't want a gender stereotap, want you out
of the kitchen. They don't want you around their kitchen.
Other people are like, please, I don't want to wash
a dish. I've just done all this for you guys,
you tidy up. But I think that's an individual thing and.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
You can't need to know. And it also depends on
your space. When I hosted my Christmas parties in New York,
my kitchen was my living room, was my sitting room,
was my entrance for so that sort of helps.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Know when to leave.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
To Jesse's earlier, I never leave. I never want people
to eave.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Oh no, I definitely want people to leave.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
You've got to be like, I love that you're here,
but it's time for you to go now I'm tired.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
I think that's when someone either stops speaking because they've
drunk too much, or is speaking too much because they've
drunk too much.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
I think that's your hands and be like, we're ordering Uber. Well,
not where I live, you can't, but we're in the city.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Clap your hands.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
We're ordering Ubers now.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
If a very bright light has just turned on, leave
pick up the cues.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
A good guest can pick up the cues. If your
host is standing up and going, well, hasn't this been lovely?
Speaker 5 (42:39):
Can shave they're in their pajamas.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
One related tip for hosts here is I think everyone
should order Domino's pizza for a party at ten pm.
Speaker 4 (42:48):
Oh okay, So on that I was on Reddit and
I saw this person there was a whole thread about
I want to be a better host. I don't know
how to be a good host. And there was a
comment that said host like a man, and by that
they said drinks just say drinks in the fridge, snacks
on the counter, we're ordering pizza.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
It hosts like a man. I loved that.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
If you're feeling the pressure and you're feeling overwhelmed, go
when Luca has friends over, why isn't he stressed? And
it's like because he he doesn't even put the chips
in a bowl.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
That's always why.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
That's why, because Brent's exactly the same, held his friends
around and it's just like ten bags of doritos.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Also, there are different types.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Everyone has a good time.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
But that's also why when he says, shall we have
people over?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
And I go oh, and.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
He goes, what are you worry about?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
But anyway, out Louders, whether you are hosting this holiday season,
whether you are going to be a guest, look, it
is good to be together. Her point about you don't
remember the airport after the holiday is.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So throw out, throw out a gurrito buffet of some
people over.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
That is all we've got time for. Out Louders on
this Wednesday. We appreciate you as always for being here
with us, and to our amazing team for helping us
put the show together today.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
We're going to be back in.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Your ears tomorrow with an episode for our subscribers about
the year's glimmers.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Bye Bye, Mamma.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which
we have recorded this podcast.
You're listening to I'm ONMA mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hello out louders, This is a heavy, sad week in Australia.
Talking to you all in so many different places all
over the world. As I know lots about loud as
are is a real profound privilege for us when things
are dark, and we actually do a lot of talking
off mic about how best to honor that. Today, Jesse,
(00:34):
Amelia and I want to talk a bit about how
it feels to be so close to the center of
this tragedy, not because it's about us. The real pain
here belongs to Australia's Jewish community and to everybody affected
directly by what happened at Bondai Beach on Sunday. But
we are here and we're close to many people who
were affected, and we want to talk about some of
the names we've learned this week that we will never forget.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
And then we're going to move away from.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That darkness just for a little window of time and
bring you some other conversations. Being able to do that
is not something that I know everyone has the ability
to do today, but we also know it's what some
of you need. Jesse, you and I both went down
to Bondai yesterday separately.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Tell me about why you went.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Luca and I both sort of looked at each other
and went, this is something we feel like we need
to do.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Luca is Jewish and born and raised Jewish.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And unborn and raised in these in the.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
As suburbs, exactly right. And so we went to Bondai
and the first thing that struck me was the the
eeriness of the silence. One word I would never use
to describe Bondai is quiet, like from the traffic. There's
(01:53):
always music blaring, there's people talking. It was just silence.
You could also tell that everyone was slightly on edge
because as we were standing there looking at the memorial
and there are just so many flowers, a phone would
go off or someone would speak a little loudly, and
(02:13):
you could tell that that was making some people uncomfortable,
and no doubt, because we were surrounded by people who
were actually in Bondai when that happened, and members of
the Jewish community who are on hire alert right now,
and looking at the flowers. There were little teddy bears
(02:34):
from the hospital that I noticed, and messages and it
was just an incredibly somber atmosphere. What struck me is
you're sort of walking down there in silence and just
it's swarms of people with flowers putting them down, and
you see someone in a school uniform, and someone you know,
(02:58):
a member of the Jewish community, a Muslim, a surfar
just the cosmopolitan of all the different people who were
meeting there, and it was really.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
Affecting.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
But I think a really important thing to go and
stand there and process it. I have a lot of
people who BONDI means a lot to them, and they're
not close to Bondai right now and they wish they were.
And so to look over and see there's a black
tarp set up that sort of covers whether now crime
scene is and you know, the bridge is only meters away,
(03:40):
and a lot of people are sitting on the grass
reflecting and you know, talking or remembering certain things that happened.
I have friends that were I have a friend who
was in the bathroom in the pavilion when it happened,
and she's getting her head around it. And yesterday everyone
(04:01):
Luca and I spoke to from we met up with
a friend of his and we're talking to someone else
on the phone and you go, how are you and
they say, ah, my friend was shot. My colleague was
a first responder. I have someone who I went to
school with who is currently in surgery. Like the closeness
(04:22):
of this and the victims, but also there are a
lot of people who are injured in hospital, who are shot,
who are looking at potential amputation, who will looking at
like just the horrific ongoing effects and the ripple impact
on the community is just can't be overstated.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I went down there because I don't live in Sydney anymore,
as many out loud as well know, but for twenty
five years I lived in these suburbs. I lived in
could you, which is a few beaches over. And as
to your point about a lot of people who that
place means a lot to them, but they're not around,
that was very much. I felt very I went and
(05:04):
I put my flowers down there, and there were people everywhere,
and there were a lot of members of the Jewish
community who were over near the memorial who were offering
to pray, with people who are giving food out, who
were talking and gathering and being together, which you know,
it was so important. I went and sat because I
don't know, I was very profoundly moved, obviously by everything
(05:27):
that's happening, but this city means an enormous amount to me,
and you know, it's Australia opened its arms to me.
I'm an immigrant who's lived here for decades now, but
it's profoundly a part of me. And it made me
really think about that yesterday when I was sitting there
and I know, I've got Australian friends who live in
London and they're all thinking about Bondai, and I was
(05:51):
just sort of thinking about.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Just our beautiful city.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And you know, we talked about this on Monday, if
you haven't listened to the episode we made with me
other three of us and mea Friedman. On Monday, we
did talk about how it sounds almost try and cliche
to go this sort of thing doesn't happen here, And
I don't mean that, but I just think that when
something so horrific unfolds it somewhere that you know so well,
(06:17):
whether you're still.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
There or not.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
It made me feel very protective of this special place.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Anyway, what you said about the beach being quiet was
so interesting because it made me realize I live on
a beach far from One day on the other side
of the city, and I have never seen the beach
so quiet as in the last couple of days. I
think people are feeling that they don't even want to
(06:45):
go to the beach right now, because.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
It's almost what happened is the antithesis of the beach,
which is that you go there too because you feel
care free and relaxed. And it's almost like the weather
over the last few days have reflected back a city
that is melancholy and dark and windy and stormy.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Like to go in and there there is nothing that says.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
There is nothing festive about this time of year, and
that gathering of people and to hear a lot of
the Jewish community are saying prayers and singing songs and
there was something so a motive about that that it's like,
these are prayers that have you know, I've sat in
(07:33):
my in law's house and said it over Shabbat dinner,
or at my wedding. We had a blessing in the
days before with a rabbi, and you know, people from
the synagogue and to hear like these moments of my
life that have been so critical and I've felt I've
(07:53):
felt so welcomed to then hear that in a totally
different tone, and to also go, there's bravery and showing
up to Bondi and displaying and expressing your judaism today.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
And I just had so much respect for.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
The people around me so much, And you know, there
were signs of there were people in the bars, there
were people, and I kind of I also thought that
was really good, Like it's, yeah, I mean, everybody's so
lost if you're not directly affected and so but everybody's
so lost of how best to express their shock. But
also people are resilient and that it is. It's this
(08:36):
strange mix. But one of the things that I felt
very much there is I walked across the bridge that
I've walked across a thousand times but now is so
iconic from all the footage right and I've seen from
the videos that we've been consuming over the past few days,
I've seen some of the most awful and some of
the bravest, bravest things I've ever seen unfold so close
(08:58):
to that bridge. And I was thinking about that when
I was there, because on Monday's show, we obviously talked
about Ahmed El Ahmed, who is the hero who has
gone around the world. He is still in hospital recovering
from another surgery on his shoulder after being shot. But
also what we've found out in the past couple of
(09:19):
days is that there were many other heroes. I mean,
we talked about this on Monday, that the fact that
really Ahmed's bravery shone a light on how many people
did incredible things on that day, but not all of
them tragically made it. The couple yesterday that film of
them was widely circulating are called Boris and Sophia German,
(09:44):
and they're a couple in their sixties and they were
literally just walking down the street and they saw the gunman,
the older gunman get out of the car with the rifle,
and Boris tackled him, just straight out tackled him and
managed to get the gun from him. Was not to
the ground. Sophia ran to him. They're a couple who've
(10:04):
been married for thirty four years. He's a retired mechanic,
she works at Australia Post. Unfortunately, the gunman, as we
have learned, had many more than one firearm and he
reached for another gun and they.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Were both shot and died.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
It's unthinkable, but their family overlease statements said that they
got some piece from knowing that they died in each
other's arms and also while committing such an extraordinary bravery.
Also Reuven Morrison, who's sixty one years old and he's
identified as the other man in that now very famous
video where Ahmed is wrestling the gun from the gunman
(10:48):
and he comes up behind him and he throws a brick,
and he again is a person who's running towards danger
and he was shot and tragically is one of the lost. Also,
I think that these stories of bravery are so important
because I think that as we're talking about this con
using time, the worst and the best are all there
(11:13):
for us.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
And there wasn't There wasn't one here, there were countless.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I heard a story that so deeply moved me. I'm
going to try and get through this without crying. Her
name is Jessica Rosen, and we need to know her name.
Jessica Rosen went with her family to Hannaka by the
Sea and when gunshots rang out, her husband was running
away with their toddler, who was one and a half,
(11:40):
and she was searching for her three year old son.
Can you imagine in that moment you hear gunshots. You
know where your toddler is, but you don't know where
your three year old is. And she's looking for a
three year old and she notices a little girl screaming
who happens to be three. Her name is Gigi, And
(12:01):
in that moment, she decided to lay on top of
this little girl for the entire time until the shooting
stopped and the girl's dad came to pick up Chigi.
Keep in mind that she still doesn't know where her
own three year old is when she is doing this,
And there is a video of her lying on top
(12:22):
of this girl. The gunman is in the background, and
there is audio. The audio in this video is her
repeating I got you, I got you while she's lying
on top of this girl.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
I just think.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
And she says, we're going to be nice and safe
and nobody is going to hurt us, okay. And she
sounds as calm as if she's saying can you brush
your teeth, or as calm as it's time for dinner.
And I just can't believe what it took for her
to speak to this girl that she's never met before
(13:02):
in that tone of voice, while not knowing what her
own three year old is She wrote about it on
LinkedIn afterwards, and she is fine. She says she has
some bruises, but she's otherwise fine. Gigi is fine. Her
own three year old is fine.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
The bravery of so many adults who are there, who
literally threw their bodies on top of children was just
absolutely extraordinary. We do, of course, have to mention one
more name that I don't think anyone in Australia will forget,
which is that of Matilda, who is the ten year old.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I don't think that Australia will ever get Matilda's face
out of our minds. She is just the most beautiful
little face.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Ten years old. And her parents spoke yesterday. They're not
disclosing their surname, and they said that Matilda was called
Matilda because the family came from Ukraine and she was
their first Aussie, their first Australia child.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
She loved bees.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Bee was her middle name, her nickname, So they want
people to share bees to remember Matilda.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
I am I just yeah, there are so many of these.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Of course, the people we've talked about today are not
the end of it.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Let me mention one more. There's a photo someone captured
of Jackson Dolan, who is a lifesaver who was photographed
running barefoot with a medical bag down Bondei Road from Tamarama,
running towards danger. That image just captures the bravery of
(14:33):
so many people.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
And that those lifeguards, many of them were first responders
on the scene. That is not what they are trained for,
that is not what they were expecting to see on
that on that day, there's a man who is not
sharing his name. He spoke to the I read about
it in the AFR and he's going by ab because
(14:57):
he is a refugee who came to Australia and doesn't
have a permanent visa And in fact, he spent the
night before in custody.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
He has had criminal charges, he is awaiting a.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Court date and on Sunday he found himself in Bondaie
and there he has appeared in footage. And for a
while people didn't know what he was doing. They were
very confused by his actions. But what they've now pieced
together is that he got out of this suber or
this taxi and walked over and hid and was watching
(15:31):
what was going on and eventually did spring up onto
the bridge. And you know, one of the gunmen was
dead at that point, the other was injured, and he
just wanted to kick the gun away so that he
couldn't access it anymore. And then he kind of flings
his arms up to go, I'm not And he has
(15:53):
children of his own, he has a family and was.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Very aware the danger that he was putting himself in.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And it was.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Another police officer who was not in uniform who yelled out,
he's not with them, He's not with them. And the
fact that you know that man, this flawed hero is
they're calling him. He's not perfect, but he knew what
was needed of him in that moment and was so brave.
(16:23):
In fact, people came up and started kicking him because
they thought that he was part of it and he
was just saying no, no, no, I was trying to
do the right thing.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So so the whole sort of good is like, I
don't know, as you say, flawed here, but unlikely elderly gentleman,
terrified mothers, you know, like bronze lifeguards.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Like it's just well, it's kind of a microcosm of
Australia here and it's a migrant country and it's full
of people from different backgrounds who all had an expectation
that they could enjoy the evening at the beach. And
what strikes me about all of this is that video
(17:08):
means that we have this unprecedented access to the atrocity
and the horror of what happened on Sunday, but we
also know so much more about We've also seen so
much of humanity at its very best alongside humanity at
its very worst through all this video footage and documentary
(17:31):
footage of what happened. I feel like it's important to
say that there are many people today who can't turn
away from this because they're directly affected by it. But
for people who were not directly affected, experts do say
it's important to protect yourself and to not consume too
(17:52):
much information or footage. Get the facts by all means,
understand what happened, bear witness to what happened, but at
some point you need to protect yourself as well and
your own mental health in this situation. So it's in
that spirit that we decided that for the show today,
we did want to talk about some other things too,
(18:15):
so we'll be back in a moment.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
There are two celebrities that are dominating the news cycle
this week.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Taylor Swift has a documentary.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
We are going to get to that, and Timothy Challa
May is being interviewed and snippets of it are going viral.
Speaker 6 (18:47):
Sometimes you get to call things as it is, as
they are and not tiptoe, especially as you get older.
I'm glad to be thirty. I want to look back
on my interviews when I'm fried and mentally anguished in
my sixties and look back at my interviews and ely
taking Oh man, I was really speaking the truth and
not afraid of the team, like this is probably my
(19:10):
best performance, you know, and that it's been like seven
eight years that I feel like I've been handing in
really really committed, top of the line performances. And it's
important to say it out loud because the discipline and
the work ethic I'm bringing these things I don't want
people to take for granted. I don't want to take
for granted this is really some top level shit.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Do you think he's taking the piss Okay?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
I do.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
That is part of my theory is that I think,
like everyone else, want a press tour in twenty twenty five,
I think that man is in character because Marty Supreme
and will no more when we see the film. But basically,
he was this table tennis player who his ego and
the fact he thought he was the best in the
world was part was part of his appeal. And so
(19:58):
there's this theory that is he just playing that.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
He has of course, I mean famously last year when
he was angling for an oscar for the Dylan movie
Complete Unknown's Thank You Amelia, I'd forgotten its name. He
also made it very clear I think we talked about
it on the show, that he wanted that oscar, that
he thought he deserved it, that he wanted to be
one of the greats. So I think he is a
little bit in character. But I also think the self belief.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Part is maybe because he said during that because he
won in February the Best Actor at the Screen Actors
Guild Awards, and he said, I know, the classiest thing
would be to downplay the effort that went into this role.
But the truth is this was five and a half
years of my life. The truth is I'm really in
pursuit of greatness. I know that people don't usually talk
like that, but I want to be one of the greats.
(20:46):
I'm inspired by the greats. The difference here is that
it's talking about his ambition, it's not talking about the
outcome of the performance, whereas now even the way he's
dressed his demeanor.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And it's also interesting that when he wanted the Oscar
for playing Bob Dylan, a famously eccentric, reclusive artiste, he
was not photographed on the red carpet in Orange Pleasure
with his godsfriend Kylie Jenner. Exactly when he is trying
to present himself as a very sort of cocky on
top of the world table tennis yes player, famously extroverted,
(21:20):
he does do that.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
And the response to this press tour has been some
people calling him a try hard There have been those
who are just paved away.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
He says, I know I tried.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
I know, I tried really really hard.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Blown away by his confidence, and my first reaction was
a woman could never sit there.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
And whether in character or not, there's a great.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Clip going around of Kristen Stewart saying, and a few
female actors have made this point that when it comes
to method, when it comes to staying in character or
like going home and still speaking in the accent, women
don't have that luxury. You would just look like an
ut wanker. But Holly, you've been taking one for the
(22:06):
team and watching the ear Is documentary.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
It wasn't a punishment.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
And what have you noticed about the tone of Taylor
Swift's behind the scenes project.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Well, here's the thing, because you know, I would like
to lean into your theory, you know I would, my
feminist heart would like to lean into your theory that
a woman could never But I watched the first two
episodes of the Era's documentary. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and
I actually recommend it if everybody needs a feel good distraction.
There are two episodes that are already dropped. I believe
(22:36):
there are two more coming, and then another two after that.
She's strip feeding in Taylor.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
I will absolutely be watching that over the brain.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
It made me wish I'd gone to the tour, No,
because I didn't, but I don't think any of us did.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Well, we're all faubo queens here.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
But the thing that's very striking about it is so
it's very high production values. They followed her for most
of the second leg of the tour. It is behind
the scenes, so there's lots of stuff about how it
all came to be, which is fascinating. It actually opens
just as her show in Vienna is called off due
(23:08):
to a terrorist threat, and there's a lot there about
that and about the fear around that, which is really
interesting too. But there is no way to watch these
two episodes without thinking that Taylor Swift is absolutely amazing,
like next level amazing. She basically runs a small nation.
That is the impression you get.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Does she tell you that or does are we shown?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Now? Well?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Then this is the thing that I find really interesting
is so I'm watching it and I'm going, oh my god,
how amazing is Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I mean, I know she's amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
But look at all the people she employs. Look at
how she treats them, look at all these amazed Look
at what she's done for the world, bringing together all
these kids.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Da da da da da.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Look at the commitment, look at the hard work, look
at the training, look at that. And then you're like, wow,
I didn't know that we were allowed to make a
six part documentary series about how amazing we are? Like
that was my uncharitable thought. But I'm calling myself out
for it. Yeah, I think there's a bit of and
maybe it's gen x. Your my millennial friends. I would
like you to tell me maybe it's gen x that
(24:08):
I find that. I just that that it's like, oh,
but you're like boasting your big upping yourself, you're something,
and I think that maybe it is okay, and maybe
that's great.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Well, I want to know about a particular scene in
that I've heard about, which is so apparently she gave
her about one hundred and fifty million dollars US dollars
of bonuses associated with the Ears tour or thereabouts, and
apparently there's a scene in it where she is handing
out the money and how does that come off? Because
I hear that and it sounds a bit cringy.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
That's the thing that's interesting, right, So it's not just
a scene, it's a whole sequence, because she explains off
camera that at the end of every leg of the talk,
because obviously it's chopped up into legs, they everybody gets
a bonus and she handwrites them a card, and in
the most Taylor Swift thing of all times, she also
signs seals the envelope with a hand pressed wax stamp.
(25:06):
So there's a lot of takes her weeks so she's
a lot of footage of her sitting down wax stamping
all these envelopes, stacking up all the envelopes, putting them
in piles, giving them to her mom, and then her
mom's like, wow, Taylor, you hand wrote all these cards, Taylor,
And she's like, I did. So there's a lot of
exploration of it. And then you see all the dancers
stand in the circle. Not only the dancer's got this,
(25:27):
of course, the audio guys, everybody, you understand, a small
city is moving around with this. And she hands them out,
she makes a little speech, they bleep out the amount,
but then they show you all these press cuttings of
how much.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Money it was.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So how much was it for the dancers?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
They don't say that, but it's rumored to be around
one hundred thousand, but it could be even more, could
be much more. But also remember this isn't once, this
is after every tour, so this is life changing money
is how it's referred to several times. And I am
in awe of that. I mean, you know, she cops
a lot of criticism for being so rich, but I
don't have.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
To do that.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
She shares that there are a lot of people who don't.
And I've seen some writing about this show that's like
it's good because it almost shames the people who don't,
you know, well because the other hand, is it both.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
No, because if it was less than life changing money,
it would be cringe. But the fact is that this
is life changing way she is putting her money where
her mouth is.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
And this isn't the first report of that, right, Like
we know that part of the Taylor Swift story is
how she treats people who work for her. And even
I can't I'm sure I've said this on the show,
but when I was in Hamilton Island recently, one of
the tour guiys was saying, Taylor has stayed at Kualia,
that really fancy hotel, and she she didn't just stay there.
(26:46):
She took when she was in Australia, I think it
was a few years ago, she took her entire crew
and got them to all stay at this six star
resort for and it cost her millions, like to do
it right. And I didn't hear that from Taylor, you know,
Like I heard that from this random guy on Hamilton Island.
So let's not be under any illusions though that that's amazing.
(27:09):
But what she expects from them too.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Like these people are king, you know what, the level
of excellence that's required. One of the things that really
comes across in this show is like they break for
this leg before they come back to do the bit
that has tortured poets in it, and during their break
when they're supposed to be relaxing, they actually all have
to learn an entire new set. And she's demanding, and
(27:32):
she is expecting excellence, and she's a perfectionist and all
those things like that that's not shown up but never
shouty or yeah yeah, But I think that these people
are earning that money.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
And then on the other hand, you know who else
is earning money is like Amazon delivery workers or people
who work in Amazon factories, and Jeff Bezos isn't writing
them one hundred thousand dollars checks.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
So do you think that we are moving out of
a cringe era about saying, yeah, you know what, I
work hard, I'm bloody talented in a chalameat swifty kind
of way, or do you think that they're still sneer
about it.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
I wonder if less than this being a generational story,
I think it's a cultural one. I don't think an
Australian artist could ever so Hugh Jackman.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Or like.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
Kylie or even UK. I read some UK commentary and
the difference between how the UK and Australia even look
at the Timothy Shallamy things, and I think that there
are differences there. But we like humility and we like
to and to our own detriment like tall poppies, syndrome
(28:47):
and pulling people down.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Still true, I do.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
I think it's still true.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
But I don't think that Cape Blanchette is sitting around
being self deprecating about her acting ability.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
No, but Cate Blanchette, and again I've heard this through
the industry, is incredibly philanthropic with younger actors, right like
what she has done. I remember during COVID she and
I know this from a French not from a press release,
but basically the way that she provided sort of a
livable wage for actors who were out of work. If
(29:21):
Kate bland Chet made a documentary by Kate Blanchett broadcasting that,
I don't know how we'd feel different if it's like
true Australian story and it is part of it. We
interview a journalist but there is this humility, and I
don't think it's necessarily all a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
I've got different theory. Okay, timoth Vy Shallon May and
Taylor Swift are really good, like they're allowed to say
they're good. If you actually are just kind of universally
acknowledged to be really good as those two are at
acting and singing, respectively, I think you're allowed to say it.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
But like Ian Thorpe was really good and he never
made a fuss, he just won his medals.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I think it's interesting because do you feel like do
you too feel like you can you could outwardly state
being proud of your achievements to it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I'm American, so yes, so you're you know, I'm Australian
Americans so, but the American snydemy says.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, Jesse, I know the answer to this
for you.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Okay, reserve in Australia, we're a reserve that for our
performance review or our LinkedIn profile, the two places where
either we're going to get hired or we're asking for
more money in a private environment, and even that is excruciating.
But I have friends who have moved to the US
tried self deprecation. It doesn't want got looked out like
they were pathetic, and like, if you're such a piece
(30:51):
of shit, then why are you at this prestigious academy.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I want you to resolve something for next year. I
want you to slip into a conversation with someone you've
never met before, just one conversation that you are a
best selling author. I just want you to do and
see how it goes. Look, I have made her so uncomfortable.
Do we have to end this segment now? After the break?
(31:17):
Hosting is hard and why we love it anyway? Alison Roman,
who is, as you know Jesse, the millennial patron saint
of cooking. Yeah, think of her as kind of like
the im parmiter of your generation. Nelly's excuse me, wrote.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
A newsletter jmiel my Jella.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Perhaps she wrote a newsletter that I absolutely love this week.
It was called hosting is hard and that's okay because
we like it. And I'm going to read what she
said because she's such a good writer. She wrote around
this time of year, there are a lot of things
to read about hosting, namely, how to do it without stress,
how to do it without fuss, or inconvenience. Babe, I
(32:05):
have news. A lot of hosts is stressful. Do I
need to breathe this in an American accent? I feel
like I have news. A lot of hosting is stressful.
It is inconvenient, and that's oh my god, that accents
and that's okay. My love hosting, my cooking is an
act of generosity and care.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Is that like the captain of the Australian cricket team,
Pat Commons saying backyard cricket is fun because I like him.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
For me, then I'll say that there's a portion that
will not know that name. But is it fun for
Allison because.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Because she's a famous thing good cook?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (32:40):
Or is it less fun?
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Because if I get invited to Alison Romans for a
dinner party, my expectations are high, whereas if I get
invited to Holly's for.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Dinner, expectations are low. For the vegetables are high.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
I gave you a h of sources.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
She's the hospitality abilities, which so fair.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Look Alison. She has a lot of good idea in
this for how to quickly and easily host over the holidays.
She suggests hosting a ham party where you get supermarket
bread rolls and you make a pile of them and
you just say, enjoy the ham and the bread rolls,
and then you serve some ice creaming little bowls for dessert.
Just you're looking at me skeptical.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
It's just that in the pictures she'd made a tree
of rolls, and I wonder how she's stuck.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, what I wondered is that she stuck a load
of bread rolls to like a styrofoam cone. And they
look amazing. But you know what won't look amazing the
minute someone takes one off.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
Yeah, then you've just got loads of styrofim. Anyway, I'm
not dissing her.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
She is.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
I love her.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Her esthetic and I always get that word a bit wrong,
but is very satisfying. It's very like old Instagram. Everything
looks beautiful that she That's exactly it lighting.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
It's like she's got an inbuilt filter.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Yeah, it's quite self serious, but in an earned way,
because it looks great.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah to the thing. If you're good, you're good.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
So I appreciate her point there, which is just hosting
is as hard as you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
This is her point, And well, actually I think her
point goes a bit further. Yeah, her basic point is
hosting is incredibly annoying, but you just got to do
it anyway. It's important. It makes you feel good and
it makes other people feel good. And she has this
good analogy. She says, we don't let the stress of
an airport a terrorist from going on vacation. That means holiday.
(34:32):
So like the trash and work and messy kitchen is
basically just the airport of the vacation, she says, deal
with it, suck it up. Holy.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I very much appreciated this sentiment because I hate hosting.
That's why I loved the sentiment, because the thing is
is I'm not I think some people are like natural hosts.
I have friends who love to host, They love to
feed people, they love to make people happy, they love
to open their homes. It's part of their personality. And
(35:01):
then there are people like Jesse and herself who get
very anxious about it. But the thing is, what Alison
Roman is one hundred percent right about is even though
I get very anxious about it, afterwards, I am so
glad it happened last Christmas. I'm sure I bought the
outlouders with it. At the time I did. I hosted Christmas,
was the first time I've done that in a very
(35:22):
long time. I had lots of friends and their children
and their dogs come to our house which is down
the coast and stay. I was sticking pineapple chunks into
oranges wrapped in silver foil, which is a very English thing.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Can you repeat that?
Speaker 3 (35:36):
You get cheese and pineapple tinned pine.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
What sort of cheese?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Cheddar cheese on a cocktail stick?
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And then otherwise.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
The receptacle to hold it all up is an orange
wrapped in silver foil.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
The TACKI nineteenth. I don't think ala eat the orange. No,
the orange is just there to holds up. You eat
the stick.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I noticed that Alison Roman's version of this was to
put lots of olives on a stick. That's the same
thing anyway. But my point is I am not natural
at this, but and I got stressed doing that.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I was worried.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And it is expensive to anyone listening to this is like,
I hate hosting. It is expensive even if people bring things.
But I was so glad I did it because the
joy of having everybody together. And I don't not going
to labor this point, but perhaps particularly this year, perhaps
particularly when things are difficult, being able to be together
is the point. And if everyone was like, hosting's too
hard but precious too much. I don't want to do
(36:33):
it all those things. If everybody did that, where are
people gathering? Not everybody can do it at a restaurant
or an app. So I appreciate Ellison's point about that,
And I also think that for those of us who
are not good at hosting and like going to other
people's houses, we could make it much easier for that
person if we knew how to be better guests.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Are you a good guest? Jesse? I like, because I
know you're not a good host.
Speaker 4 (37:01):
No, I really like being given a job. But I
think that statement makes me a bad guess.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Do you come in and say what can I do?
And walk into the.
Speaker 4 (37:08):
Kitchen because I have a thing where I also don't
want to. What I like is when the host isn't
in the kitchen and I can go all right, clear plates,
But I don't want to give the person more jobs
by unpacking the dishwasher and going where do I put
this pan? Where do I put this cup? Like I
don't want to be that annoying person. But what I
(37:31):
appreciated about this article was actually that she sort of
acknowledged that we're not just two types of people. Some
people like it, some people don't. Everyone finds stress and
stressful is kind of part of the point.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
That is so true because you love it, right, so
I love it, but it's also wildly stressful. I used
to host a Christmas party when I lived in a tiny,
one bedroom apartment in New York. Every single year I
invited everyone. The floor was always so sticky afterwards. I
don't know why, and it was a huge pain, like
(38:07):
to slap all this stuff up the stairs and like
get all the food and get all the drink. Very expensive,
as you mentioned, Holly, and I look back on those
Christmas parties. I probably hosted eight or nine of them,
and I just think that was my youth. I'm so
glad that I did that.
Speaker 5 (38:23):
And part of that is that some people are annoying.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Some people will bring something really useful and another person
will bring barely anything, and that's going to probably piss
you off.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
Some people aren't going to leave to realize.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
It's like, but all of the social dynamics and irritation
of just simply being around other people.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
It's the point.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
And also speaking on behalf of people who do ultimately
enjoy hosting. You just want to see people having a
good time. Like, honestly, I don't want people to help out.
I just want to look out at a room of
people and see them having a good time. That's it.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
That's because you're a wonderful person. It is spread the joy.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
But also, can I offer some advice to those of
us who want to be helpful to the amailiates of
the world, not necessarily directly, because to your point about
you want to have people having a good time, tips
for good guests, show your appreciation, so always the next day,
send a text. I mean, I guess in the olden
days we used to send thank you cards. I think
(39:29):
we can leave that, but send a text being like.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I don't think we can leave that. I think if
you're invited to a small dinner party, you need to
send a handwritten note in the mail yep in with
a stamp. Yes, yes, a dinner party, not a party party.
A dinner party, you need to send a note. Yes.
I'm basically Taylor Swift without the one hundred thousand dollars
(39:52):
check you're right.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Taylor Swift would do that, and she would have the
wax about you have the wax.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Anyway, show your appreciation.
Speaker 5 (40:00):
Right, show we need to pretend that I do.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Like that you mentioned one thing here you said send
it the next day. That's important. Yes, when people send
at night off, they're often drunk and it doesn't mean
as much like if you send it the next day means.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Send them send a message the next day. Also, when
you're there, express what a good time you're having, you know,
like Amelia wants to look out and see you having
good time.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
So if you're not fake.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Oh and you know what, talk to some people so
I don't have to worry like in this like anxious way.
Introduce you with some now portraits.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yeah, a few of the tips that I got from
the internet to tell me how to be a better
guess because most of them might have broken at various points.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Rs VP and don't be late very often at.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Least, but don't be early.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
You can't be early ten minutes late.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
That's a rule.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I think the big of the party, the slightly lady
you want to be.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Yeah, yeah, if you are asked to bring something into
Amelia's point, not everybody wants to you to bring something.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Bring what you're asked to bring.
Speaker 5 (40:56):
Exactly what you are asked.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
Don't be like, oh, you know what would be good
this thing like no.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Day, I keep modifying these rules. I think you should
propose to bring something and say does that work? Because
it's annoying to say what can I bring? Be like,
I'm going to bring a plate, a bowl of strawberries
and some whipped cream.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
That's and I think classy, that's amazing, and I think
be really specific. So don't say I'm going to bring
a fruit platter. Say exactly, and like even get a
sense of like how how many bread rolls like that?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
That?
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Just don't ask me how many like rock melons in
your fruit.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
If you know your host, well help out as much
as you know they would want you to. Some women,
in particular, don't want a gender stereotap, want you out
of the kitchen. They don't want you around their kitchen.
Other people are like, please, I don't want to wash
a dish. I've just done all this for you guys,
you tidy up. But I think that's an individual thing and.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
You can't need to know. And it also depends on
your space. When I hosted my Christmas parties in New York,
my kitchen was my living room, was my sitting room,
was my entrance for so that sort of helps.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Know when to leave.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
To Jesse's earlier, I never leave. I never want people
to eave.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Oh no, I definitely want people to leave.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
You've got to be like, I love that you're here,
but it's time for you to go now I'm tired.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
I think that's when someone either stops speaking because they've
drunk too much, or is speaking too much because they've
drunk too much.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
I think that's your hands and be like, we're ordering Uber. Well,
not where I live, you can't, but we're in the city.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Clap your hands.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
We're ordering Ubers now.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
If a very bright light has just turned on, leave
pick up the cues.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
A good guest can pick up the cues. If your
host is standing up and going, well, hasn't this been lovely?
Speaker 5 (42:39):
Can shave they're in their pajamas.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
One related tip for hosts here is I think everyone
should order Domino's pizza for a party at ten pm.
Speaker 4 (42:48):
Oh okay, So on that I was on Reddit and
I saw this person there was a whole thread about
I want to be a better host. I don't know
how to be a good host. And there was a
comment that said host like a man, and by that
they said drinks just say drinks in the fridge, snacks
on the counter, we're ordering pizza.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
It hosts like a man. I loved that.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
If you're feeling the pressure and you're feeling overwhelmed, go
when Luca has friends over, why isn't he stressed? And
it's like because he he doesn't even put the chips
in a bowl.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
That's always why.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
That's why, because Brent's exactly the same, held his friends
around and it's just like ten bags of doritos.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Also, there are different types.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Everyone has a good time.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
But that's also why when he says, shall we have
people over?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
And I go oh, and.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
He goes, what are you worry about?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
But anyway, out Louders, whether you are hosting this holiday season,
whether you are going to be a guest, look, it
is good to be together. Her point about you don't
remember the airport after the holiday is.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
So throw out, throw out a gurrito buffet of some
people over.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
That is all we've got time for. Out Louders on
this Wednesday. We appreciate you as always for being here
with us, and to our amazing team for helping us
put the show together today.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
We're going to be back in.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Your ears tomorrow with an episode for our subscribers about
the year's glimmers.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
Bye Bye, Mamma.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which
we have recorded this podcast.
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