September 4, 2025 • 47 mins
It all started with a Google Doc. Half of you—like Holly—are going to love it. The other half? Yeah, maybe not so much. But stick with us, because this isn’t just admin—it’s a document your loved ones will thank you for one day. We've made it easy for you by including a link to it below. Download or... ignore.
And, Amelia’s latest internet obsession takes us deep into the world of weddings of the super rich. Think: Croesus, filthy rich, LOADED. Yes, we're saying hello to Becca Bloom and discussing the rise of Rich-Tok. What does a 'status wedding' actually cost—and why can’t we look away?
Plus, your weekly reccos:
💪 A fitness trend that’s a little... unusual
🎬 A Netflix drama Jessie absolutely inhaled
✨ A miracle for your face (no surgery required)
To download the Essential Information For My Loved Ones document, subscribe to the Mamamia Out Loud newsletter here which publishes every Saturday at 6am.
Support independent women's media
Recommendations
Amelia recommends laughing yoga.
Jessie recommends Hostage on Netflix.
Holly recommends Miracle Balm by Jones Road.
What To Listen To Next:
- Listen to our latest episode: The Family Drama We Can't Stop Thinking About
- Listen:The Princess Test & Trump's Bruised Hand
- Listen: An Entirely Random List Of Things We Deem Offensive
- Listen: The Millionaire CEO Going Viral For A… Snatch
- Listen: The Snow Globe Effect & Brad Pitt’s Victory Lap
- Listen: An Emergency Meeting About Taylor Swift's Engagement
- Listen: Did Someone Get Engaged? Oh Look, Mia Just Barged In
- Listen to MID: Grief Has No Time For Your Bullshit
- Listen to Parenting Out Loud: The Third Kid Dessert Analogy & FFS, Stop With The Texts
Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here
Watch Mamamia Out Loud:
What to read:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to
Mamma Mia. Out loud. It's what women are actually talking
about on Friday, the fifth of September. I'm Holly Wayne Wright,
and I'm remembering that we used to always say to
our out louders on a Friday, this is your place
on Friday for a bit of relaxation.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I love it, a.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Break from anything newsy. This is just a place where
we do a bit of thinky, a bit of piss takery,
bit of fun, a bit of yep recos for your weekend.
So welcome, relax.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
You're wearing a cobalt blue shirt, which is the perfect vibe.
And I am Jesse Stevens and.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
On today's show, this is what made our agenda. First,
the Google doc that will instantly divide everyone listening into
two types of.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
People, plus our love hate relationship with rich people's.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
And your weekly recommendations including a brilliant Netflix drama, a
strange fitness fad, and something very fancy for your face.
But first, in case you missed it, headphones are making
your anxiety worse. How so, specially your noise canceling ones.
Do either of you use noise canceling headphones?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yes, you can pry my air pods playing pink noise
out of my colder.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Really okay? So, according to a piece by a woman
named l Jones on Substack, there is a growing body
of evidence to suggest that noise canceling headphones are causing
hearing problems in young people. But also the reliance on
them is creeping, and she's saying that this is not
a good thing. So first you use them on the train,
(01:56):
and then maybe you're at work, you're trying to concentrate,
you put on your pink noise whatever it is, and
eventually you've got them in because the hum of the
refrigerator is irritating you. Important caveat as well for people
with neurological conditions or who are neu divergent. There's an
obvious exception, right, for a long time people have needed
this kind of stuff, but for most they could be
doing more harm than good. So audiology departments are reporting
(02:20):
that more and more young people are coming in to
get their hearing checked, and when they do check the hearing,
they say it's not an issue with your hearing, but
with your listening, so the part of your brains.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
All children have that problem, the listening problem. It's just
that they can't hear you when you tell them to
do things they don't want to do.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yes, well, apparently the headphones are making it worse. So
it's the processing of the sound. They're not doing it
as much. Filtering out noise from the car alarm to
the barking dog is a skill that strengthens with practice,
which we have evolved to be able to do. And
if you start to control for all of that, then
when you are confronted with an unexpected noise like a
(02:58):
door slamming, that leads to really high levels of anxiety.
The suggestion is that we go back to wide headphones,
or we walk around with nothing in our ears and
we reconnect with our environment.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
What do we think. I've got those air pods that
cancel surround sound, and I coveted them for ages. I
heard someone fancy on a podcast talking about them once
and I was like, that's what I need, and I
bought them as a treat. Because they're expensive. I'm in
a love hate relationship with them, which is why this
does resonate because prosecco problems, it's like you put them
(03:35):
in and you feel very disconnected from the world suddenly,
and you're like, yeah, I wanted to listen to my
podcast and my music, but I didn't necessarily want to
be completely cut off from everybody else. But then the
problem is you get addicted to them, and now if
they're not in noise canceling, I don't feel like I
can focus. So I think they're like, as you say,
it's like it's a learning the other thing that's annoying
(03:57):
about them. And again, prosecco problems, they turn down when
someone talks to you, these fancy ones really, So if
you come up to me and you're like, Holly, I
needed a blah, it turns down. And the thing about
that is I don't want to listen to you. I
want to listen to my So I'm like, shut up,
I've just missed the five really important words that Megan
Markle just said in her latest four hour interview, so
(04:19):
that you could tell me it was time to go
and do some work. I don't know into it.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I find them very claustrophobic. I don't like the feeling.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I think it's interesting to think about how the ubiquity
of them has changed our relationship with the world en
mass and I think back to that Apple ad, which
I know that you lot loved, but I was depressed
by the Pedro Pascal where he's walking through a busy
city street and the seasons past the four year passes,
and I believe he's getting over a breakup and then
he needs someone new. I found it profoundly depressing because,
(04:48):
setting aside the dreaminess of Pedro Pascal, what you saw
there was he was completely disconnected from all these amazing
things that were happening around him because he had his
air pods in, and it struck me as almost sinister.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
No one can sell me the end of the world
like Pedro.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I hate as well that I have friends who are
dealing with you know, newborns or whatever at home, and
one of them does headphones when they're trying to sleep whatever,
which I semi get. But it's also like, at what
point is our house being robbed and we don't know?
At what point has a plane crashed in our backyard
and we are not aware.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
They're not that good.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I need to mention ear Wax look it's Friday. Yeah.
I often think about the compacting of earwax that is
happening when we jam those air pods into our areas. Now,
this is not based in anything scientific apart from a
feeling that I am compacting earwax. Is that just a
me problem?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
No, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I wonder.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
No, But I wonder if constant wearing is not good right,
because I've got friends who have talked about going to
the doctor realizing they've got lots, get it all sorted,
and suddenly everything's really loud, and it all is a
great feeling.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And some people, such as maybe me, go to sleep
sometimes with the air pods in listening to the Ezra
Cline podcast, and look, I know that's a sickness. But
I just worry about the ear wax situation.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I know. I would like a doctor to please tell
us if we should be worried about that, if that's
also making it worse for our ears.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I will say that Jennifer Aniston was recently photographed with
the old school apple wire earbuds, and it made me think,
that's a woman that knows how to live. And if
she's got the wired ones back, maybe we should all
be doing.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
It, if only she was aspirational to the young people.
Because the kids nag parents for air pods, right, you know, teenagers,
tween ages, and they're very expensive and they are exceptionally
easy to lose. So usually you resist and you resist,
and then they might get a pair of old ones
or whatever. But if the wired ones were still cool,
there's so much more affordable.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
I've had wireless ones stolen off a pram, and I
have had my air pods. I leave the box everywhere,
like I just I've left the box on a plane
and stuff. I get my wireless back in.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I want to track a single left air bud as
it traveled the world after I left it on a plane.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Having a little adventure without you. Sit with me, friends,
while we get very real about something. Approximately half you
are going to find this very useful. What we're about
to talk about. You're either already doing it or you
will immediately start at Google doc when we stop talking today.
The other half will throw their phone in the ocean.
(07:22):
That's me, Yeah, here we go. Let me tell you
why it's about death. I know it's Friday. I know
we promised you fun, but I promise you This is
very interesting and it may change your life. It starts
with the newsletter, right. This newsletter was titled the Most
Loving Thing You Can Do, and it's by Elie Lernon.
Now she writes this newsletter called Pulling the Thread. She
(07:43):
used to work for Goop, and I subscribe to this
newsletter because I thought one day, one day, she's going
to spill all the beans.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
About Okay, you're a prescribe for the Gossip and you
got death.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, because here we are. NDA's Alasia ain't never gonna
tell us what really went down at Goop. But she's
also a writer and a speaker, and she's been on
no filter. She's like, she's a really interesting woman. Anyway,
As I say, this newsletter was called the most Loving
Thing You can Do. She writes that eight years ago
she lost her brother in law, her brother's beloved partner, Pete,
(08:15):
and she says, every year, to honor Pete's passing, I
do a little bit of personal housekeeping that might strike
you as morbid, but I believe it's actually the most
loving thing you can do for the people you love.
In August, every year, I go through a document that
is shared with my husband and my brother and I
update any critical information in the event I might unexpectedly die. Now,
(08:39):
what do you think. I'll tell you what she puts
in it. But what's your first reactions?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
My reaction is to sit down and do that would
be to accept an inevitability. I am not prepared yet
to accept.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
This is the two types of people argument, Amelia. How
are you feeling about it so far?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I hate opening Google docs at the best of times.
Alone one about death?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Okay, here we go. She talks about how the practicalities
of death, from immediate arrangements to the cancelation of so
many parts of someone's life, everything from credit cards to
bank accounts to social media accounts, are often beyond the
abilities of the closest mourners right when somebody loses somebody,
And also it's really hard to uncover and excavate, she writes.
(09:19):
You want the people you love to be able to
mourn without needing to hack into your email account. You
don't want your partner or siblings guessing where you might
have bank accounts. Most importantly, you want to give your
people the opportunity to honor you in the way you
would most appreciate. Nobody wants to guess about that. Here's
an example of just some of the things she lists
in this Google doc. Email passwords, right, so email accounts
(09:42):
and passwords, phone and computer codes. So this is my
passcode to my iPhone, this is my password to my computer.
Mortgage details, other debts, life insurance, home insurance, car insurance,
club and gym memberships. And then there's some less practical,
more personal stuff like I would like my organs to
be donated, yes, no, that kind of stuff. I would
like my body to be buried or cremated, yes, snow,
(10:02):
I would like to be buried in this location. So
basically your wishes. Put it all in one document that
the people closest to you you know exactly where it is.
And she says, this is the most loving thing you
can do.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Thoughts, it's clearly a brilliant idea and a very important
thing to do. And there are a lot of people
I know whose families have been torn apart by trying
to make these decisions by committee in the wake of
someone's death. That would just be awful. But it's a
really hard conversation to broach with someone I know that
(10:35):
there are books that are basically like here's what to
do if I die? And it's like a spreadsheet, but
it's like a little organizer.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
What birthday do you go?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Happy eightieth dad?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Here's a gift?
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Like, how do you even see.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
The tricky part?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Broach that? And I think the other reason why people
are hesitant is because they're actually crippled with indecision about
some of those things. Obviously there are quite clear things
like here's my email password, blah blah blah. But the
thing of where do I want to be buried? How
do I want to be remembered? What do you want
the music? I'm like, I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It's not compulsory that you put all that stuff in.
You could just do the practical things.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And her point is really clever, which is we all
think this is, you know, a privilege. But some people
you know obviously have a diagnosis or something which changes
how the rest of their life looks. But most of
us are going, we'll live forrages. I don't need to
think about that. But she's saying, no, my brother in
law drop dead and left his family with a lot
(11:34):
of admin. So I suppose I see some people in
this life stage going okay, let's get the death stuff
out of the way, so we can go on living
and we don't have to think about it anymore. But
I also think that the two types of people is
some are so comfortable with dying. There are people in
my life at all different ages who are so comfortable
with that reality they can talk about it. And then
(11:58):
there are others. Again, some of them are young, some
of them are old who will just never come to
terms with it and it's always going to be something
that they try to avoid. And I think I'm in
the latter camp.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Look as you were talking, Holly, I realized I was
physically recoiling from my microphone. So that speaks to my
own personal comfort with this subject. But it did put
to mind a New Yorker story from twenty ten that
has stayed with me for fifteen years. Maybe it's the
most powerful article I've ever read. It was by the
physician a tool Go one day, who writes a lot
about public health and about how individuals can live healthier lives.
(12:31):
But this article is called letting Go, and it was
about the importance of talking to people you love about
what they value in life and what they are prepared
to put up with when it comes to medical care,
and he makes the point that people, until very recently,
dying was typically a very brief process, and these days,
a catastrophic sudden illness is of course possible, and we
(12:52):
all know people to whom that's happened, but it's much
rarer than it used to be. So as a result,
the dying process has become incredibly prolonged, and we sort
of expect doctors and medical practitioners to do everything they
can to prolong it, even when we or our loved
ones might not want that. And he tells this one
story that I will never forget in this article, which
(13:13):
is this daughter spoke to her dying father about what
he wanted in terms of medical care, and he said.
The conversation was agonizing. There's no sugarcoating it. It was
incredibly difficult for both this daughter and her father, and
he had this illness, and she said, what are you
prepared to put up with? He said, as long as
I can keep eating chocolate ice cream, I'm watching football
(13:33):
on TV. I want to stick around and I want
to fight. But when I can't do those things anymore,
I don't want to be here. And so it became
a litmus test whenever he had a surgery, it was like, well,
will he be able to eat chocolate ice cream and
watch football and TV after this? If yes, go ahead.
And then eventually it got to the point where he
couldn't eat anymore. He couldn't eat chocolate ice cream, he
couldn't eat anything. So at that point they knew he
(13:55):
had to move to hospice. It's just the most powerful idea.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
This is really interesting because it's the thing is there
are different groups of people who talk about this in
a different way.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
What you're describing there in terms of is like they
often call it a need of advanced care. Where you
get somebody who is, you know, maybe edging towards that
part of their life to write down or their wishes
in case things happen to them which are more about
their own care and as you say, at what place
they want intervention. That's also a really difficult conversation to
(14:24):
breach with people. But what an excellent filter.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah, and it can be called a living will.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It can be called a living will exactly. And when
I interviewed this amazing woman called doctor Jackie Bailey on
mid last year, she said, ideally everybody who's older should
have one of those, and she said, you know, if
they're not googled dot kind of people, output in a
plastic folder, keep it on top of the fridge, tell
everybody where it is, and just leave it there. And
it's got that kind of stuff and if you care
about it, the funeral stuff and all those kind of things,
(14:50):
and maybe some of these things that Alice Lehman is
talking about too. The tricky part is, as you've touched on, Jesse,
is there are two types of people. I know because
I'm in this live stage where most of my peer
group is going through various degrees of issues with their
parents around illness, health, ongoing, quality of life, and dying.
And there are some people whose parents are fighting fit
(15:14):
at the moment, but they are death cleaning like crazy,
you know, clearing out the garage, clearing out the attic,
deciding to downside, making all these very practive decisions, and
they're like, I don't want you to have to worry
about this. And then there's the second group of people
to the two types of people argument, who are like, going,
I want to live my life exactly as I've always
lived my life for as long as I possibly can,
and then when something goes pair shaped, we'll deal with
(15:34):
it then, right. And the thing is is that, as
any adult children of parents will say, is that can
be that can be very difficult for them when the
inevitable happens. But is it fair to try and force
someone into a very difficult conversation to make your life
more convenient? You know what I mean? And I'm being
flippant when I say that, because I know there's a
lot more to it than Oh, it would be convenient
(15:56):
for me if I knew what all the passwords were
and I knew exactly what you wanted to do. But
it's difficult. But what Dr Jackie Bailey suggested to me,
because she said, some people who are very uncomfortable with
talking about death, you've got to provoke them into it.
This was one of her tips. So she said, for example,
if your parents or some person that you love who's
going through this, you know, for example that maybe they
(16:16):
are very non religious, provoke them with something like so
obviously you'd want a priest to come, or I know
what song you'd like? You love blah blah blah, and
you'd be like Daisies by Justin Biebe. You'd like that
would you know whatever, and they'll be like what, And
she said, provoke them into talking about it, because that's
(16:37):
often a way to kind of get the ball rolling
in a fashion that's a bit more accessible. And then
the other thing she said, which is to the elast
learmon thing, is she's encouraging people who aren't elderly to
do this in case of unexpected eventualities. Doctor Bailey told
me that we should all be doing it anyway, because
then we'll have a better understanding of what it's like
for our parents. Like if you've done it yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Oh, that's such a good point.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
If you've done it yourself, then then you know like
what it's like and how confronting it is and things
for your parents. But the thing is is for elderly people,
it is so fronting to suddenly be told, well, think
about it, mum, Like how many someone's do you think
you've got? You know what I mean? Like it's so
up close, and some people are comfortable and some people
just start.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Huh yeah, I think too. The living will thing is
really interesting. And I was speaking to someone last year
about AI advancements and they were saying that there is
this new technology that they're developing, which is basically the
way that AI can scan your medical records, your preferences,
conversations you've had with doctors, whatever, and predict what you
(17:40):
would want at a stage. So someone who for example,
the one that I think about a lot is dementia,
and that can progress really fast, and it's really hard
when someone gets a diagnosis to go, all right, what
are you like? Talk about just you know, worse nightmare,
what you don't even want to think about down the track,
But it's going what would this person want? And that's
the thing that families are grappling with all the time.
(18:02):
Would they want to be here? Would they want to
be here?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
And the ambiguity of dementia and the way it makes
ambiguous what the persons suffering from it would want has
come up just this week because Bruce Willis's wife is
under all sorts of scrutiny because she's come out and
said that she lives separately from Bruce Willis because she
thinks that their children need a little bit of space
from him, and she said that that's best for them,
(18:25):
but she's facing a lot of flag for it.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, And to be fair, she said that They've built
a beautiful, comfortable home for him, with everything he'd want.
It's not just like off you go, Bruce. But yeah,
so much criticism. It's really interesting. We'll put a link
to the newsletter about the Google doc in the show
notes and to the interview do to Jackie Bailey. And
obviously of these issues you're grappling with right now, out
Louder is just sending you enormous love.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Can I throw in an additional recommendation too. I read
a book a few years ago called Staring at the
Sun by doctor Irvin D. Yellam, and it is about
overcoming the dread of death and death anxiety. He's a
therapist who worked with people with quite profound death anxiety.
I think about it all the time. If there's someone
in your life who broaches that is an issue that
they find like stressing at any stage, it can just
(19:11):
be a useful thing. Sometimes it's better to look at
in the eye.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I think we've made our own version of this really
at Muma mea a sort of template to help start
your off prompts some of these conversations if they're difficult,
or if you want to do this yourself, and we'll
put a link to that in the show notes too.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Out Louders in a moment why we're so obsessed with
rich people's weddings. There's an influencer who's taking the idea
of extravagant nuptials to whole new heights, and surprisingly the
internet loves it.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Out Louders, We've got a listener dilemma, and we need
your collective wisdom to help us and our partners at
UI solve it. Please, here's the problem from our listener.
I'm in a really awkward situation and need some advice. Yesterday,
one of my close friends accidentally sent me a screenshot
that has left me feeling completely betrayed. The screenshot showed
(20:02):
our recent and private text conversation where I'd been venting
about my relationship. I shared some pretty intimate details about
our issues. But what made my stomach drop was seeing
that she had clearly screenshot at our private chat to
share it with someone else. She'd obviously been forwarding my
personal relationship details to someone when she accidentally sent the
(20:22):
screenshot to me instead. I don't think she has figured
out what she's done yet. I trusted her with some
really private information that I'd never told anyone, and now
I know she was planning to share it all behind
my back. Should I confront her about that accidental screenshot
and call her out? Or do I quietly distance myself
and never confide in her again. I'm angry, I'm hurt.
(20:44):
The question is what do you do next?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
That's so bad. I'm so sorry. That's such a betrayal
and it must feel so awful. I think you got
to call her out for it, for sure, And my
warning to you is that she's probably going to get defensive.
You're probably not going to get the heartfelt apology that
you're hoping for, and there'll probably be some kind of
excuse made, if not an outright denial. But you have
(21:09):
to confront her, and then you have to move on.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
And then I think not share details with her anymore.
She's clearly someone who can't be trusted. The fact she
hasn't noticed it yet. Oh, it's just also awful. But
I think you have to say something because I'm trying
to look at this from another angle, going is there
another reason she might have screenshot the text? And I
can't think of one.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So Pollyanna had on possible excuse? Oh, I was going
to forward it to a relationship counselor friend of mine
who would treat it with much discretion but maybe have
some very useful advice.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Or it was an accidental screenshot, or I do think
something I was.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
In a hurry and I didn't see it, but like
she might have a reason like that. But as you say,
merely whether or not you're going to believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
There is one caveat I can think of is if
she feels her friend is an actual danger, which has
happened to a friend of mine in the past, maybe
she's seeking some advice from someone on whether it intervene
more pro actively.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yes, Oh, that's actually really true.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It's true. Not that I want to start like making
excuses for this person, because it is a terrible thing
to do, but sometimes being the person who has to
handle all the heaviness of someone else's really difficult situation
is hard and you need to share that load. But
in general, I think it's clear what's happened here. You
need to work out if you can forgive it at all.
Out louders, what would you do next? Share your thoughts
(22:34):
in the Mama Mia outloud Facebook group, and also if
you have a dilemma. Send it to us at out
loud at mamamea dot com dot au. We would love
to help you.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I want to talk about weddings. We're entering wedding season
and specifically I want to talk about rich people's weddings,
happy days, What could be better? There is a rich
person wedding that we understand happened this past weekend. It
was an influencer no One as Becca Bloom on TikTok,
real name Rebecca mar She only joined TikTok in January,
(23:04):
but she already has four million followers, and the Wall
Street Journal recently crowned her the Queen of Rich Talk now.
Becker is very wealthy. The money comes largely from her parents.
They founded a tech company in China before she was born.
She grew up in the San Francisco area, and she
herself is doing very well financially. She sold a tech
(23:24):
company in high school for about three hundred and fifty
thousand dollars, and she currently works at some kind of
fintech company. She hasn't said what company that is. She's
also engaged now married to an executive at Amazon, so
clearly there's a lot of money floating around there, and
we are talking a lot of money. So for instance,
just to give you some ideas, she feeds her cat Cavia.
(23:47):
The cat prefers actually sushi grade salmon, but will put
that aside. It doesn't who doesn't. She goes on date
nights with her fiance, stopping by jewelers to get diamonds.
He gives her surprise channel boots. They watch White Lotus
in their private cinema, you know, regular date night stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
So I'd never heard of her, right, Jesse was like,
oh she.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you love her? Jesse?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
She is all over my feed. She's got a very
calming voice, and as someone who is revolted by conspicuous
consumption and could not care less about designer anything, can't
pronounce any of the things she's talking about. I must
say there is something quite charismatic about her.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Definitely, But my head fell off because I didn't know
she was and you directed me to her. And she's
funny and she's clever and she's very good creator. But
I was like, I am watching a woman. She was like,
I think the one I watched she was put my
jewelry on with me. While I recommend five books you
should read immediately, and then she's literally piling on millions
(24:43):
of dollars literal millions of dollars of van kleef Arpel
and how you say it, yeah, and all this stuff
while she's telling me to read The Righteous Mind by
Jonathan Hid And I'm like, what weird third dimension have
I moved into? Now? And then she's like, as she said,
I'm feeding my dog. I've got these special plates for them.
I'm going to play it up while I taught to you.
(25:04):
And You're like, I didn't know this world existed? Am
I happy I've stumbled on it? I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Well, this is what I want to talk about. Because
a lot of people feel the same way as Jesse.
They love her, They find her calming. Her wedding is
going to be insane. We haven't actually seen the photos
yet because she hasn't posted them, but we believe it
was on this past weekend at an eighteenth century broker
state on Lake Como. Was estimated to cost five hundred
thousand dollars for two hundred guests. But the Internet loves
(25:31):
her so A sample comment on one of her posts is,
when I say eat the rich, I would never mean you.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Beca gets a free pass because she's funny in charm well,
is that why?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
I have another theory as to why so. I wanted
to compare the sort of adoration that she gets to
the reception that Lauren Bezos get out the world's Smallest
violin got to her nupshaws to Jeff Bezos and Venice recently,
and I think we can safely say most people were
ridiculing them, were disgusted by the show of wealth, the
phone party on the yacht, all of that. I'm just
(26:02):
more interested in why she gets a pass or influences
like Beca Bloom get a pass when other rich people's
weddings are really put under the microscope.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I reckon that Becka's self awareness, the way she wears
it and owns it with a bit of a sense
of humor, is incredibly refreshing for people. What people don't
like is rich people who pretend they're not really.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I don't think that that's qualifies Bezos. I don't know.
No one was being modest to being right.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
There is something about that It felt like it was papped,
and there were elements of that wedding that we got
access to. But Becka has this vibe of you're at
your really rich friend's house who you quite like, even
though they're really really rich, and they're showing you all
the jewelry, and you're kind of just they're going, oh
(26:56):
my goodness, she has.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
A wedding tree. Tell us what a wedding tree is.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Okay, I'd never heard of a wedding tree. It's sort
of like a Christmas tree, Holly, And what people do
is they put all their gifts for your wedding under it.
Except this isn't like a toaster.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
No, I don't need no toasters.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Ermez, the hatress, Silence, and also a Chanel bag which
she does unboxings, which I must be clear, I feel
physically sick.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I was watching I do not like it. I was
watching her do some of those and she opens something
from Mez or whatever, and it was like, this is
a wedding present to myself for committing to doing my best.
She's not even really pretending that she's getting married because
she wants to marry this guy. It's like, this is
another scene in my life, and we get a lot
(27:43):
of presents for it. She must also be getting paid
by all these jewelry brands, so she's not.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Vinal No, apparently not. Apparently not.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
She is an ambassador for Van kliefer Pell.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Anyway back to your point.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Get back to your point. Can I just on your
theory though, Can I just say there's very valid reasons
for disapproving of Bezos. We probably don't know that much
about where Mars mony.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Know where she works.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yes, So I think that, you know, really a lot
of the ridicule we have for Bezos and that wedding
and the showiness of that and the five day extravaganza
and all the people who went to it is also
kind of to do with And I'm just going to
gesture broadly and go the world right now, and we
can kind of hold the Bezoses of the world who
are at Donald Trump's inauguration, who are, you know, decimating
(28:29):
traditional industries around them? We can kind of hold them
accountable for it, right Whereas Beca Bloom we're just like,
who knows, Maybe she got all that money by lovely means,
And I'm really happy for her diamonds.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
So it's interesting that her proximity to Amazon as well,
the fact that her husband is an Amazon executive kind
of doesn't seem to taint her image. But when I
started being served videos of her, it was her telling
me what it was like to grow up that rich.
And there's an element of like purviness. She was just
born into this wild life.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Great segue. I think this is about how we feel
about gold diggers, and I'm sorry to use the term,
but I'm throwing it on the table because I think
that's why what's going on here.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
But she's not a gold digger, right exactly.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
So the Bezos wedding is about this idea that Lauren
Bezos is marrying up. And it turns out there's a
word for it, when you marry into a different social class.
It's called hypergamy, not to be confused with bigamy. Hypergamy,
I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. And we've
got a number of examples of that floating around right now.
There's Lauren Bezos, there's Huma Aberdeen, who is the Democratic
(29:35):
operative who married a Sorrows recently, and Milania Trump is
arguably a kind of archetype of that too. And there's
a lot of different feelings going around about how we
should feel about these women who are marrying up. If
you look at Cold Her Daddy. That podcast kind of
frames marrying up as a smart business decision. It does.
Or think of the TikTok that blew up. Let's have
(29:56):
a listen to it.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
I'm looking for a Man in Finance Trust don six
five Finance Trust Fun six five.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
That was a banger of last summer, I think in it.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It's also the movie in Aura, movie Materialists. All of
these movies and pop culture moments are about embracing the
idea of marrying up as a smart thing to do
as a woman in a world where the system has
rigged against you. Inequality has never been more rampant, And
yet we also hate women who do that. We also
feel disdain for them.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
They can't trust them.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
We can't trust them. Becca Bloom didn't do that. She
grew up rich. Yeah, she's marrying a rich guy. But
that's actually kind of beside the point. I think that
money comes from her family, and from familial wealth.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
That is so depressing.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I think too. I was reading this piece in the
Wall Street Journal about her that was saying, we live
in an age of such status anxiety that even the
really rich don't feel like they have enough. Like there's
a real to be able to look down the barrel
of a camera and go, I am really rich. I've
always been rich, I will always be rich. Come and
have a look at my house. Is like the reason
(31:00):
why her content goes viral is because she's exceptionally rich.
Like there was one that she did recently. She needed
wedding shoes or whatever, and so she just got on
her private jet and went to Paris. I didn't know
that people did that. And there's such normally a wall
up and a privacy about wealth where people who are
low income or middle income do talk about money. They
(31:20):
talk about salary, and they talk about rent, and they
talk about mortgages. But when people edge into those kind
of upper echelons, it becomes a little bit kind of.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Her wall will come up. Like she's only been doing
this since January. She is putting a massive target on
her head in many ways.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
No, but think of say the Sofia Richie Grange wedding,
which was another real celebrity wedding moment. She got married
in twenty twenty three, and that was kind of like
the crowning of quiet luxury, Like that was the culmination
of that trend. She got married in a number of
different design and dresses. I think she now created three
of them for the weekend. She was very celebrated on
the internet. And that's because she's Linel Richie's daughter. She's
(31:55):
rich herself.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
But do you think the people who because and obviously
when Becka Bloom's wedding photos dropped, because everybody's been very
invested in the journey. She's tried on twenty million dresses
and all the jewels and d da da da da,
when they drop, will everybody be watching it with aspiration?
All they've watching it like a sort of freak show almost.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
That's what's bizarre, is it that I seem to be
laced with some aspiration? It's not how I watch it.
But if we view weddings as content now, which is
really what they are, they're a great content strategy for
at least six months. You know, you do the tryons,
you do the venue. She's going to have so much
content out of this.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
That's why we say, will you take me as your
content strategy?
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Because it's literal, but it is literally that right. Like
I know this is an unpopular thing to say, but
choosing a place that you have no connection to not
that I mean, maybe I'm wrong, maybe she has a
deep connection to it, but like a beautiful villa and
Lake Como as your film set.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You're just saying that, Holly, because you've started learning Italian,
so you think you're like, you don't even do Dui
lingo every day.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
It's like, this is the film set for what I'm
imagining here, because you're so right. You know, we're obsessed
with this stuff, and we know that weddings in ordinary
people's lives give them a content strategy for six weeks
at least. But if you contrast this with say Charlie
XCX's wedding, which was in the northern summer in London
this year, where they went to the town hall, Hackney
town Hall, which is a very cool place to get married.
(33:14):
It used to be Chelsea town Hall, but no, that's
Hackney town Hall and you wear a short dress and
then you go to the pub and you have a
pint in the city and then you just have a
party with your mates. Now, obviously that's very true to
Charlie XCX's brand, but to me it feels like an
actual wedding that's about getting married to somebody and celebrating
your mates these kind of weddings, and I know that
you could argue that I'm jealous and dah da da dah,
(33:35):
but they just feel like a performance. There doesn't feel
like there's anything real about it. And the idea that
you can invite all mom and Dad's rich, rich friends
and they'll put presents under your tree.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
You don't need performances.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah, but there's levels, isn't there.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
I reckon too that there's something distinctly American about this phenomenon.
Becka Bloom doesn't exist in the UK, and she does
not exist in Australia.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I don't know if that's true, and.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
You'll imagine how different it would look in the UK
because there's such a sense of new money and old money.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I think about royal we.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
I'm not talking about weddings. I'm talking about content on
TikTok and the idea that there's transparency. Like in the UK,
there's a real sense of privacy. I'm thinking about Saltburn
and the way that there is a certain amount of
wealth that becomes very very private. But if Becka Bloom
existed in Australia, she would have a much larger target
on her back. I think and in the US. There's
a thing about the American dream and aspiration. And if
(34:28):
I just work hard enough, I too will have my
wedding in like Como with my gift tree. After the break,
we've got some recommendations just in time for your weekend,
including Holly's very fancy beauty.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I feel like Beca Blooms exactly right.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
We've got Becker Bloom over here with a present under
a gift tree.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Bloom.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
What did she say?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
She said, I'm giving it to myself for trying.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
For committing to trying my best.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
That's why Holly bought her self a balm.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
One unlimited out loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday
and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link
of the show notes to get us in your ears
five days a week, and a huge thank you to
all our current.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Subscrib Before we get to recommendations, I need to tell
you about ned the snail. A woman in New Zealand.
Her name is Gizelle. She was hanging in her garden
like you, Holly, and she noticed a snail.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I see snails. Oh my god, you know what I
do with them?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
What?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
No, I can't say Actually, I don't kill them. Don't worry.
I'm not going to kill them, but just put you
move them up. I throw them. I picked them off
because they're eating your things. Okay, pick them off, throw
them in the hedge.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
Well that's what Gizelle was going to do, Holly, and
Gizelle is very into the environment. So you're allowed to
throw your snail as long as you don't track that
hard gentless exactly right. So she was just going to
kind of move the snail along, was her euphemism, when
she noticed something unusual about Ned, and that was that
Ned had a shell that spiraled to the right. The
(36:03):
reason that's interesting is that nearly all snails on their
shell spirals to the left.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Oh my god, I did How closely are you looking
at this? Okale?
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Well, I should say that Gizelle was primed to notice
this because she works for the New Zealand geographic magazine. Right,
so she knew this.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
She's she's nail fluent, she knows she understand the significance
of shells.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Hang on, this is interesting. What's the big deal. Why
do we care that the snail shell's gone the wrong way? Well,
it's Ned's penis allow me to explain his reproductive organs
won't line up with other snails because their shell is
the other way. It's kind of like he's programmed the
opposite way around and in order for Ned to meet
(36:46):
a lovely like partner. I know this is very heteronormative.
We've not even asked Ned about his preferences where the
consent exactly. But if Ned wants to procreate.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Doesn't it every snail. It doesn't make little baby snails
exactly eat my cabbages.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
If he wants to, then he needs to find a
snail with the same shell. Right, So people in music
this would only happen in New Zealand. In New Zealand
are being encouraged to find Ned a lady friend. They
are looking for a snail with a shell that spirals
to the left. Giselle has of course acknowledged that they
will need to be compatible personality wise and the sparks.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Will have far Can we help? Can we look?
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Thank you, Amelia? That's what I thought, because we're not far,
are we We're not.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Far from snail to New Zealand exactly.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
The one on a plane. I think that if someone
finds a little lady.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
They're not protection going to be cool with them.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
No, they're not.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Maybe it's just I feel like Ned couldn't get in,
but I feel like Nora could get out.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I don't want to be rude, Ned, but you're not
an endangered species. If Ned does not get to procreate,
the garden snails will be fine. But then we're the
ones at the left side, they'll be all right. It's
very cute, but I'm sorry one less snail to chew
my cabbages. I'm here for it.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Vibes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun. This is my
best recommendation.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
It's Friday, so we want to help set up your
weekend with our best recods. Holly, please go first.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm going to give you my beck at bloom Reco
my beca bloom Star recommendation. I'm currently obsessed with cheeks.
You don't know like where it's come from, but I
go through phases when it comes to beauty and skin things,
and at the minute, I'm like, I've noticed it because
we're always on video. I've noticed that if I've got
color in my face, I just look more alive.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
That's a good so like a blush.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
So I bought this thing because and this is the
most twenty twenty five midlife sentence you'll ever read. I
saw Naomi Watts recommend this in Miranda July's newsletter. It's
a bomb by a brand called Jones Road. Now, Jones
Road is Bobby Brown, you know, she's a very famous yep.
But she's got her own brand. She's had it for
a few years now, but it's only just become available
(39:08):
to be shipped to Australia, so it's available in Australia now.
And this barmb, it's called Miracle balm, is kind of
controversial because some people think it's great and some people
think it's a bit of nonsense, a bit of Emperor's
New clothes, because it's kind of like a blush or
a highlighter, or almost like a lip barmb. But it's
for your face and it comes in thirteen different shades,
and even the ones that are quite pigmented are quite sheer.
(39:28):
But it makes you feel like plump top and dewy,
and it gives you a bit.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Of a shine, but it doesn't give you a lot
of pigment.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Not a lot of pigment. They've got some of them
have got more pigment than others, and some are almost clear.
But I just I love I've been putting it on
and it just it kind of makes me feel like
So it's she they say on their marketing. You can
either wear it. You could wear it with a bare
face if you're like got gorgeous skin like Naomi What's
you could put it on a bare face and it
just gives you a bit of or you can put
(39:55):
it over foundation, or you can put it on halfway
through the day to kind of pick you up. Blah
blah blah.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
And it's very much.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
It's got a highlighter, yeah, and it's kind of glowy,
and it comes in quite a big pot, so it'll
lasts your long time. But it is expensive. It's seventy bucks, okay, right,
and they come in all these different shades. And then
at the moment if you're shipping that, like my shipping
was about fifteen dollars, but if you'd spent loads of
money you get free shipping obviously. But anyway, I really
like it, So I'm putting that butt because I know
(40:21):
that's a lot of money. There is also lots of
dupes of it because it's become really famous and fantastic.
So you can also buy Revolution Balm Glow and you
can buy that in lots of shades too, at like
a price line, and it's very similar, a very similar product.
There are quite a few of them now, but this
is the one that everyone says is the best, and
you can get that at price line. Revolution do really
good things. I love the highlighter and that is literally
(40:42):
fourteen bucks and in fact it's on so at the
minute for nine dollars. So there you go, and you
can probably does Becker Bloom have a dupe version of
a van plet van rpels thrice around the neck chain?
I don't think so, Amelia.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
What's your recommendation?
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Okay? So mine is a thing called a laughing yoga.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
It just doesn't seem that you are a million no, I've.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Got like a real hippie street.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Okay. So it's done in my neighborhood by a lovely
lady named Timoco. But you can look up places to
practice it across Australia on the laughing yoga website Laughter
Yoga Dash Australia dot org has classes. Basically, it's not
really yoga at all. You stand around in a circle
and you basically just laugh together. You do various exercises
(41:31):
that are meant to trigger laughter. But the good news
is that fake laughter and real laughter actually have the
same effects on the body. Basically, they're a form of
breath work. Like laughter is a form of breath work.
You're taking in a whole ton of oxygen and then
that's calming down your nervous system.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
So there's a group of I'm assuming mostly women, maybe
not standing in a circle.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
I did take my partner along.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
Do you tell jokes like how do they like laugh?
How do you have a comedian like?
Speaker 1 (41:57):
How so, for instance, one of them is you go
ha ha ha ha ha. Because you're all doing it
in this sort of circle together, it feels really silly.
I took my partner and my best friend, and then
we just felt so silly we just actually started laughing.
And then by the end, laughter it it is contagious
and it is sort of generative, like it builds on itself.
(42:18):
So by the end you're practically hysterical and there are
tears rolling down your face. And it's true that afterwards
you feel incredibly calm because you're just taking in all
this good oxygen and you didn't even have to do
a downward dog.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Ha ha ha ha.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I like that as an idea. I like that a
lot more than breathwork.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Yeah, and I like a lot more than actual yoga
because it doesn't involve corse strength.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Do you have to do any bending around and stuff?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
You don't. You just start in this circle and you
don't even really need to wear yoga clothes for it,
because again, you're not moving that much.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Don't have to wear soft pants, you don't.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
This class was followed by a sound bath, which was
also lovely, where you lie down and the practitioner uses
various singing bowls to create great sound frequencies that are
meant to hum along with your body. But you don't
have to do that. You can also just walk away
from it and feel amazing and relaxed.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Okay, that's amazing. I am recommending a drama on Netflix
call Hostel with a lot of the out louders have
messaged me about.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
If it ever comes down to a choice, you'll make
the right one.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
You can't allow the French to dictate terms.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
You were meant to be the politician people could trust her.
Nothing will distract me. Prime Minister for your husband has
been abducted.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Abil you need to resign this prime minister by tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
I scrolled past it the first few times, and then
I even read the synopsis and went, yeah, just kind
of didn't grab me. Gave it ten minutes totally in
It stars Saran Jones. She's this British actress who's in
every British crime show.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
She's particularly an everything tense. Yeah, it's like she specializes,
you know, intense things. Since which was the one.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
The Summer Green show it was called vigils Enough that
was so so good. The premise is basically that she
is the UK Prime Minister and her husband is a
doctor who is working overseas and he is captured and
held hostage, and it's about why these people are angry,
what they want. Julie Delpi plays the President of France Swoon,
(44:32):
who's also blackmailed, and she is before sunset. I've got
a watch all of them.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
So heaven. And I know this is a sidebar because
I'm watching this too, Jesse. Watching these two women in
these really powerhouse roles is great. But Julie Delpi seeing her,
I have not think I'd seen her much lately. No
she looks amazing sidebar, but she looks amazing, French cool,
the red lip, the red limp, fantastic. She and the
tension between them and the story about her so good.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
It's great, And at no point is it even referenced
or explored that they both happen to be female world leaders.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
It just is.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
It is such a good show. Really enjoyed it, and
it's a mini It's five episodes, so it doesn't drag
on non really good.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Can I ask you a question This is not a
spoiler's question, but so I'm an episode at the end
of episode four, I've got one left, but I have
to wait till I get home because Brent and I
are watching it. Is the ending satisfying? Did they stick
the landing?
Speaker 3 (45:24):
I found it's satisfying. Yes, But I would love to
talk to people about the end of episode one. It
just starts conversations between you and your partner where you
look at each other and you go, hang on, would
you quit your job?
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Yes? Save my life?
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yeah, it's an interesting conversation.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
A massive thank you to all of you out loud
As for being here with us this week. We do
appreciate you, and to our fabulous team. Of course we're
putting it together. Oh a reminder, if you'd like to
watch us as well as listen to us, we do
all look spiffing today, don't we yea, and you can
check out my blowy cheeks exactly right. Then, Remember that
our episodes are all now on YouTube and you can
(46:02):
actually watch them anytime. Just go in there look for
Mama and me are out loud. You'll find it. We
brush our hair, Jesse and Amelia reather out.
Speaker 3 (46:09):
A big thank you to our team group executive producer
Ruth Devine, executive producers Emmeline Gazillis and Sasha tanic As.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Senior audio producer is Leah Porge's video producer Josh Green,
and our junior content producers are Coco and Tessa.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Out loud as We know you're not ready to say goodbye.
And we have a subscriber episode that we did yesterday
which is all about family drama and if you could
cut off your parents completely. It is a dilemma that
was sent in from a listener.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
It is would you yes or no?
Speaker 3 (46:43):
You can listen via the link in our show notes.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Jesse, I also want to tell all the out Louders
about the extra episode of No Filter that dropped last
week where you interview an amazing guy called Dr Muhammad
Mustafa or Dr Moe as he's called kind of everywhere
because he's a doctor from Western Australia and he has
been over to Gaza twice since the war volunteering working
in hospitals, particularly with children. So he's got this mission,
(47:10):
I guess might be the right word, to establish a
children's hospital in Gaza, a mobile children's hospital, and he
wants it to be separate from government, separate from politics,
and he's really pushing hard for that. I just thought
it was an amazing conversation. I thought Dr Moe was
so interesting and it's also that's also on YouTube if
you want to watch it rather than.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Listen, shout out to any Mum and mea subscribers listening.
If you love the show and you want to support us,
subscribing to MoMA Mia is the very best way to
do so. There's a link in the episode description
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to
Mamma Mia. Out loud. It's what women are actually talking
about on Friday, the fifth of September. I'm Holly Wayne Wright,
and I'm remembering that we used to always say to
our out louders on a Friday, this is your place
on Friday for a bit of relaxation.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I love it, a.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Break from anything newsy. This is just a place where
we do a bit of thinky, a bit of piss takery,
bit of fun, a bit of yep recos for your weekend.
So welcome, relax.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
You're wearing a cobalt blue shirt, which is the perfect vibe.
And I am Jesse Stevens and.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
On today's show, this is what made our agenda. First,
the Google doc that will instantly divide everyone listening into
two types of.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
People, plus our love hate relationship with rich people's.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
And your weekly recommendations including a brilliant Netflix drama, a
strange fitness fad, and something very fancy for your face.
But first, in case you missed it, headphones are making
your anxiety worse. How so, specially your noise canceling ones.
Do either of you use noise canceling headphones?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yes, you can pry my air pods playing pink noise
out of my colder.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Really okay? So, according to a piece by a woman
named l Jones on Substack, there is a growing body
of evidence to suggest that noise canceling headphones are causing
hearing problems in young people. But also the reliance on
them is creeping, and she's saying that this is not
a good thing. So first you use them on the train,
(01:56):
and then maybe you're at work, you're trying to concentrate,
you put on your pink noise whatever it is, and
eventually you've got them in because the hum of the
refrigerator is irritating you. Important caveat as well for people
with neurological conditions or who are neu divergent. There's an
obvious exception, right, for a long time people have needed
this kind of stuff, but for most they could be
doing more harm than good. So audiology departments are reporting
(02:20):
that more and more young people are coming in to
get their hearing checked, and when they do check the hearing,
they say it's not an issue with your hearing, but
with your listening, so the part of your brains.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
All children have that problem, the listening problem. It's just
that they can't hear you when you tell them to
do things they don't want to do.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yes, well, apparently the headphones are making it worse. So
it's the processing of the sound. They're not doing it
as much. Filtering out noise from the car alarm to
the barking dog is a skill that strengthens with practice,
which we have evolved to be able to do. And
if you start to control for all of that, then
when you are confronted with an unexpected noise like a
(02:58):
door slamming, that leads to really high levels of anxiety.
The suggestion is that we go back to wide headphones,
or we walk around with nothing in our ears and
we reconnect with our environment.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
What do we think. I've got those air pods that
cancel surround sound, and I coveted them for ages. I
heard someone fancy on a podcast talking about them once
and I was like, that's what I need, and I
bought them as a treat. Because they're expensive. I'm in
a love hate relationship with them, which is why this
does resonate because prosecco problems, it's like you put them
(03:35):
in and you feel very disconnected from the world suddenly,
and you're like, yeah, I wanted to listen to my
podcast and my music, but I didn't necessarily want to
be completely cut off from everybody else. But then the
problem is you get addicted to them, and now if
they're not in noise canceling, I don't feel like I
can focus. So I think they're like, as you say,
it's like it's a learning the other thing that's annoying
(03:57):
about them. And again, prosecco problems, they turn down when
someone talks to you, these fancy ones really, So if
you come up to me and you're like, Holly, I
needed a blah, it turns down. And the thing about
that is I don't want to listen to you. I
want to listen to my So I'm like, shut up,
I've just missed the five really important words that Megan
Markle just said in her latest four hour interview, so
(04:19):
that you could tell me it was time to go
and do some work. I don't know into it.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I find them very claustrophobic. I don't like the feeling.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I think it's interesting to think about how the ubiquity
of them has changed our relationship with the world en
mass and I think back to that Apple ad, which
I know that you lot loved, but I was depressed
by the Pedro Pascal where he's walking through a busy
city street and the seasons past the four year passes,
and I believe he's getting over a breakup and then
he needs someone new. I found it profoundly depressing because,
(04:48):
setting aside the dreaminess of Pedro Pascal, what you saw
there was he was completely disconnected from all these amazing
things that were happening around him because he had his
air pods in, and it struck me as almost sinister.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
No one can sell me the end of the world
like Pedro.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I hate as well that I have friends who are
dealing with you know, newborns or whatever at home, and
one of them does headphones when they're trying to sleep whatever,
which I semi get. But it's also like, at what
point is our house being robbed and we don't know?
At what point has a plane crashed in our backyard
and we are not aware.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
They're not that good.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I need to mention ear Wax look it's Friday. Yeah.
I often think about the compacting of earwax that is
happening when we jam those air pods into our areas. Now,
this is not based in anything scientific apart from a
feeling that I am compacting earwax. Is that just a
me problem?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
No, that's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I wonder.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
No, But I wonder if constant wearing is not good right,
because I've got friends who have talked about going to
the doctor realizing they've got lots, get it all sorted,
and suddenly everything's really loud, and it all is a
great feeling.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And some people, such as maybe me, go to sleep
sometimes with the air pods in listening to the Ezra
Cline podcast, and look, I know that's a sickness. But
I just worry about the ear wax situation.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I know. I would like a doctor to please tell
us if we should be worried about that, if that's
also making it worse for our ears.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I will say that Jennifer Aniston was recently photographed with
the old school apple wire earbuds, and it made me think,
that's a woman that knows how to live. And if
she's got the wired ones back, maybe we should all
be doing.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
It, if only she was aspirational to the young people.
Because the kids nag parents for air pods, right, you know, teenagers,
tween ages, and they're very expensive and they are exceptionally
easy to lose. So usually you resist and you resist,
and then they might get a pair of old ones
or whatever. But if the wired ones were still cool,
there's so much more affordable.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
I've had wireless ones stolen off a pram, and I
have had my air pods. I leave the box everywhere,
like I just I've left the box on a plane
and stuff. I get my wireless back in.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I want to track a single left air bud as
it traveled the world after I left it on a plane.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Having a little adventure without you. Sit with me, friends,
while we get very real about something. Approximately half you
are going to find this very useful. What we're about
to talk about. You're either already doing it or you
will immediately start at Google doc when we stop talking today.
The other half will throw their phone in the ocean.
(07:22):
That's me, Yeah, here we go. Let me tell you
why it's about death. I know it's Friday. I know
we promised you fun, but I promise you This is
very interesting and it may change your life. It starts
with the newsletter, right. This newsletter was titled the Most
Loving Thing You Can Do, and it's by Elie Lernon.
Now she writes this newsletter called Pulling the Thread. She
(07:43):
used to work for Goop, and I subscribe to this
newsletter because I thought one day, one day, she's going
to spill all the beans.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
About Okay, you're a prescribe for the Gossip and you
got death.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, because here we are. NDA's Alasia ain't never gonna
tell us what really went down at Goop. But she's
also a writer and a speaker, and she's been on
no filter. She's like, she's a really interesting woman. Anyway,
As I say, this newsletter was called the most Loving
Thing You can Do. She writes that eight years ago
she lost her brother in law, her brother's beloved partner, Pete,
(08:15):
and she says, every year, to honor Pete's passing, I
do a little bit of personal housekeeping that might strike
you as morbid, but I believe it's actually the most
loving thing you can do for the people you love.
In August, every year, I go through a document that
is shared with my husband and my brother and I
update any critical information in the event I might unexpectedly die. Now,
(08:39):
what do you think. I'll tell you what she puts
in it. But what's your first reactions?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
My reaction is to sit down and do that would
be to accept an inevitability. I am not prepared yet
to accept.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
This is the two types of people argument, Amelia. How
are you feeling about it so far?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I hate opening Google docs at the best of times.
Alone one about death?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Okay, here we go. She talks about how the practicalities
of death, from immediate arrangements to the cancelation of so
many parts of someone's life, everything from credit cards to
bank accounts to social media accounts, are often beyond the
abilities of the closest mourners right when somebody loses somebody,
And also it's really hard to uncover and excavate, she writes.
(09:19):
You want the people you love to be able to
mourn without needing to hack into your email account. You
don't want your partner or siblings guessing where you might
have bank accounts. Most importantly, you want to give your
people the opportunity to honor you in the way you
would most appreciate. Nobody wants to guess about that. Here's
an example of just some of the things she lists
in this Google doc. Email passwords, right, so email accounts
(09:42):
and passwords, phone and computer codes. So this is my
passcode to my iPhone, this is my password to my computer.
Mortgage details, other debts, life insurance, home insurance, car insurance,
club and gym memberships. And then there's some less practical,
more personal stuff like I would like my organs to
be donated, yes, no, that kind of stuff. I would
like my body to be buried or cremated, yes, snow,
(10:02):
I would like to be buried in this location. So
basically your wishes. Put it all in one document that
the people closest to you you know exactly where it is.
And she says, this is the most loving thing you
can do.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Thoughts, it's clearly a brilliant idea and a very important
thing to do. And there are a lot of people
I know whose families have been torn apart by trying
to make these decisions by committee in the wake of
someone's death. That would just be awful. But it's a
really hard conversation to broach with someone I know that
(10:35):
there are books that are basically like here's what to
do if I die? And it's like a spreadsheet, but
it's like a little organizer.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
What birthday do you go?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Happy eightieth dad?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Here's a gift?
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Like, how do you even see.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
The tricky part?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Broach that? And I think the other reason why people
are hesitant is because they're actually crippled with indecision about
some of those things. Obviously there are quite clear things
like here's my email password, blah blah blah. But the
thing of where do I want to be buried? How
do I want to be remembered? What do you want
the music? I'm like, I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It's not compulsory that you put all that stuff in.
You could just do the practical things.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And her point is really clever, which is we all
think this is, you know, a privilege. But some people
you know obviously have a diagnosis or something which changes
how the rest of their life looks. But most of
us are going, we'll live forrages. I don't need to
think about that. But she's saying, no, my brother in
law drop dead and left his family with a lot
(11:34):
of admin. So I suppose I see some people in
this life stage going okay, let's get the death stuff
out of the way, so we can go on living
and we don't have to think about it anymore. But
I also think that the two types of people is
some are so comfortable with dying. There are people in
my life at all different ages who are so comfortable
with that reality they can talk about it. And then
(11:58):
there are others. Again, some of them are young, some
of them are old who will just never come to
terms with it and it's always going to be something
that they try to avoid. And I think I'm in
the latter camp.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Look as you were talking, Holly, I realized I was
physically recoiling from my microphone. So that speaks to my
own personal comfort with this subject. But it did put
to mind a New Yorker story from twenty ten that
has stayed with me for fifteen years. Maybe it's the
most powerful article I've ever read. It was by the
physician a tool Go one day, who writes a lot
about public health and about how individuals can live healthier lives.
(12:31):
But this article is called letting Go, and it was
about the importance of talking to people you love about
what they value in life and what they are prepared
to put up with when it comes to medical care,
and he makes the point that people, until very recently,
dying was typically a very brief process, and these days,
a catastrophic sudden illness is of course possible, and we
(12:52):
all know people to whom that's happened, but it's much
rarer than it used to be. So as a result,
the dying process has become incredibly prolonged, and we sort
of expect doctors and medical practitioners to do everything they
can to prolong it, even when we or our loved
ones might not want that. And he tells this one
story that I will never forget in this article, which
(13:13):
is this daughter spoke to her dying father about what
he wanted in terms of medical care, and he said.
The conversation was agonizing. There's no sugarcoating it. It was
incredibly difficult for both this daughter and her father, and
he had this illness, and she said, what are you
prepared to put up with? He said, as long as
I can keep eating chocolate ice cream, I'm watching football
(13:33):
on TV. I want to stick around and I want
to fight. But when I can't do those things anymore,
I don't want to be here. And so it became
a litmus test whenever he had a surgery, it was like, well,
will he be able to eat chocolate ice cream and
watch football and TV after this? If yes, go ahead.
And then eventually it got to the point where he
couldn't eat anymore. He couldn't eat chocolate ice cream, he
couldn't eat anything. So at that point they knew he
(13:55):
had to move to hospice. It's just the most powerful idea.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
This is really interesting because it's the thing is there
are different groups of people who talk about this in
a different way.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
What you're describing there in terms of is like they
often call it a need of advanced care. Where you
get somebody who is, you know, maybe edging towards that
part of their life to write down or their wishes
in case things happen to them which are more about
their own care and as you say, at what place
they want intervention. That's also a really difficult conversation to
(14:24):
breach with people. But what an excellent filter.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah, and it can be called a living will.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It can be called a living will exactly. And when
I interviewed this amazing woman called doctor Jackie Bailey on
mid last year, she said, ideally everybody who's older should
have one of those, and she said, you know, if
they're not googled dot kind of people, output in a
plastic folder, keep it on top of the fridge, tell
everybody where it is, and just leave it there. And
it's got that kind of stuff and if you care
about it, the funeral stuff and all those kind of things,
(14:50):
and maybe some of these things that Alice Lehman is
talking about too. The tricky part is, as you've touched on, Jesse,
is there are two types of people. I know because
I'm in this live stage where most of my peer
group is going through various degrees of issues with their
parents around illness, health, ongoing, quality of life, and dying.
And there are some people whose parents are fighting fit
(15:14):
at the moment, but they are death cleaning like crazy,
you know, clearing out the garage, clearing out the attic,
deciding to downside, making all these very practive decisions, and
they're like, I don't want you to have to worry
about this. And then there's the second group of people
to the two types of people argument, who are like, going,
I want to live my life exactly as I've always
lived my life for as long as I possibly can,
and then when something goes pair shaped, we'll deal with
(15:34):
it then, right. And the thing is is that, as
any adult children of parents will say, is that can
be that can be very difficult for them when the
inevitable happens. But is it fair to try and force
someone into a very difficult conversation to make your life
more convenient? You know what I mean? And I'm being
flippant when I say that, because I know there's a
lot more to it than Oh, it would be convenient
(15:56):
for me if I knew what all the passwords were
and I knew exactly what you wanted to do. But
it's difficult. But what Dr Jackie Bailey suggested to me,
because she said, some people who are very uncomfortable with
talking about death, you've got to provoke them into it.
This was one of her tips. So she said, for example,
if your parents or some person that you love who's
going through this, you know, for example that maybe they
(16:16):
are very non religious, provoke them with something like so
obviously you'd want a priest to come, or I know
what song you'd like? You love blah blah blah, and
you'd be like Daisies by Justin Biebe. You'd like that
would you know whatever, and they'll be like what, And
she said, provoke them into talking about it, because that's
(16:37):
often a way to kind of get the ball rolling
in a fashion that's a bit more accessible. And then
the other thing she said, which is to the elast
learmon thing, is she's encouraging people who aren't elderly to
do this in case of unexpected eventualities. Doctor Bailey told
me that we should all be doing it anyway, because
then we'll have a better understanding of what it's like
for our parents. Like if you've done it yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Oh, that's such a good point.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
If you've done it yourself, then then you know like
what it's like and how confronting it is and things
for your parents. But the thing is is for elderly people,
it is so fronting to suddenly be told, well, think
about it, mum, Like how many someone's do you think
you've got? You know what I mean? Like it's so
up close, and some people are comfortable and some people
just start.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Huh yeah, I think too. The living will thing is
really interesting. And I was speaking to someone last year
about AI advancements and they were saying that there is
this new technology that they're developing, which is basically the
way that AI can scan your medical records, your preferences,
conversations you've had with doctors, whatever, and predict what you
(17:40):
would want at a stage. So someone who for example,
the one that I think about a lot is dementia,
and that can progress really fast, and it's really hard
when someone gets a diagnosis to go, all right, what
are you like? Talk about just you know, worse nightmare,
what you don't even want to think about down the track,
But it's going what would this person want? And that's
the thing that families are grappling with all the time.
(18:02):
Would they want to be here? Would they want to
be here?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
And the ambiguity of dementia and the way it makes
ambiguous what the persons suffering from it would want has
come up just this week because Bruce Willis's wife is
under all sorts of scrutiny because she's come out and
said that she lives separately from Bruce Willis because she
thinks that their children need a little bit of space
from him, and she said that that's best for them,
(18:25):
but she's facing a lot of flag for it.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, And to be fair, she said that They've built
a beautiful, comfortable home for him, with everything he'd want.
It's not just like off you go, Bruce. But yeah,
so much criticism. It's really interesting. We'll put a link
to the newsletter about the Google doc in the show
notes and to the interview do to Jackie Bailey. And
obviously of these issues you're grappling with right now, out
Louder is just sending you enormous love.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Can I throw in an additional recommendation too. I read
a book a few years ago called Staring at the
Sun by doctor Irvin D. Yellam, and it is about
overcoming the dread of death and death anxiety. He's a
therapist who worked with people with quite profound death anxiety.
I think about it all the time. If there's someone
in your life who broaches that is an issue that
they find like stressing at any stage, it can just
(19:11):
be a useful thing. Sometimes it's better to look at
in the eye.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I think we've made our own version of this really
at Muma mea a sort of template to help start
your off prompts some of these conversations if they're difficult,
or if you want to do this yourself, and we'll
put a link to that in the show notes too.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Out Louders in a moment why we're so obsessed with
rich people's weddings. There's an influencer who's taking the idea
of extravagant nuptials to whole new heights, and surprisingly the
internet loves it.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Out Louders, We've got a listener dilemma, and we need
your collective wisdom to help us and our partners at
UI solve it. Please, here's the problem from our listener.
I'm in a really awkward situation and need some advice. Yesterday,
one of my close friends accidentally sent me a screenshot
that has left me feeling completely betrayed. The screenshot showed
(20:02):
our recent and private text conversation where I'd been venting
about my relationship. I shared some pretty intimate details about
our issues. But what made my stomach drop was seeing
that she had clearly screenshot at our private chat to
share it with someone else. She'd obviously been forwarding my
personal relationship details to someone when she accidentally sent the
(20:22):
screenshot to me instead. I don't think she has figured
out what she's done yet. I trusted her with some
really private information that I'd never told anyone, and now
I know she was planning to share it all behind
my back. Should I confront her about that accidental screenshot
and call her out? Or do I quietly distance myself
and never confide in her again. I'm angry, I'm hurt.
(20:44):
The question is what do you do next?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
That's so bad. I'm so sorry. That's such a betrayal
and it must feel so awful. I think you got
to call her out for it, for sure, And my
warning to you is that she's probably going to get defensive.
You're probably not going to get the heartfelt apology that
you're hoping for, and there'll probably be some kind of
excuse made, if not an outright denial. But you have
(21:09):
to confront her, and then you have to move on.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
And then I think not share details with her anymore.
She's clearly someone who can't be trusted. The fact she
hasn't noticed it yet. Oh, it's just also awful. But
I think you have to say something because I'm trying
to look at this from another angle, going is there
another reason she might have screenshot the text? And I
can't think of one.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So Pollyanna had on possible excuse? Oh, I was going
to forward it to a relationship counselor friend of mine
who would treat it with much discretion but maybe have
some very useful advice.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Or it was an accidental screenshot, or I do think
something I was.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
In a hurry and I didn't see it, but like
she might have a reason like that. But as you say,
merely whether or not you're going to believe it.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
There is one caveat I can think of is if
she feels her friend is an actual danger, which has
happened to a friend of mine in the past, maybe
she's seeking some advice from someone on whether it intervene
more pro actively.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yes, Oh, that's actually really true.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
It's true. Not that I want to start like making
excuses for this person, because it is a terrible thing
to do, but sometimes being the person who has to
handle all the heaviness of someone else's really difficult situation
is hard and you need to share that load. But
in general, I think it's clear what's happened here. You
need to work out if you can forgive it at all.
Out louders, what would you do next? Share your thoughts
(22:34):
in the Mama Mia outloud Facebook group, and also if
you have a dilemma. Send it to us at out
loud at mamamea dot com dot au. We would love
to help you.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I want to talk about weddings. We're entering wedding season
and specifically I want to talk about rich people's weddings,
happy days, What could be better? There is a rich
person wedding that we understand happened this past weekend. It
was an influencer no One as Becca Bloom on TikTok,
real name Rebecca mar She only joined TikTok in January,
(23:04):
but she already has four million followers, and the Wall
Street Journal recently crowned her the Queen of Rich Talk now.
Becker is very wealthy. The money comes largely from her parents.
They founded a tech company in China before she was born.
She grew up in the San Francisco area, and she
herself is doing very well financially. She sold a tech
(23:24):
company in high school for about three hundred and fifty
thousand dollars, and she currently works at some kind of
fintech company. She hasn't said what company that is. She's
also engaged now married to an executive at Amazon, so
clearly there's a lot of money floating around there, and
we are talking a lot of money. So for instance,
just to give you some ideas, she feeds her cat Cavia.
(23:47):
The cat prefers actually sushi grade salmon, but will put
that aside. It doesn't who doesn't. She goes on date
nights with her fiance, stopping by jewelers to get diamonds.
He gives her surprise channel boots. They watch White Lotus
in their private cinema, you know, regular date night stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
So I'd never heard of her, right, Jesse was like,
oh she.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Do you love her? Jesse?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
She is all over my feed. She's got a very
calming voice, and as someone who is revolted by conspicuous
consumption and could not care less about designer anything, can't
pronounce any of the things she's talking about. I must
say there is something quite charismatic about her.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Definitely, But my head fell off because I didn't know
she was and you directed me to her. And she's
funny and she's clever and she's very good creator. But
I was like, I am watching a woman. She was like,
I think the one I watched she was put my
jewelry on with me. While I recommend five books you
should read immediately, and then she's literally piling on millions
(24:43):
of dollars literal millions of dollars of van kleef Arpel
and how you say it, yeah, and all this stuff
while she's telling me to read The Righteous Mind by
Jonathan Hid And I'm like, what weird third dimension have
I moved into? Now? And then she's like, as she said,
I'm feeding my dog. I've got these special plates for them.
I'm going to play it up while I taught to you.
(25:04):
And You're like, I didn't know this world existed? Am
I happy I've stumbled on it? I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Well, this is what I want to talk about. Because
a lot of people feel the same way as Jesse.
They love her, They find her calming. Her wedding is
going to be insane. We haven't actually seen the photos
yet because she hasn't posted them, but we believe it
was on this past weekend at an eighteenth century broker
state on Lake Como. Was estimated to cost five hundred
thousand dollars for two hundred guests. But the Internet loves
(25:31):
her so A sample comment on one of her posts is,
when I say eat the rich, I would never mean you.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Beca gets a free pass because she's funny in charm well,
is that why?
Speaker 1 (25:41):
I have another theory as to why so. I wanted
to compare the sort of adoration that she gets to
the reception that Lauren Bezos get out the world's Smallest
violin got to her nupshaws to Jeff Bezos and Venice recently,
and I think we can safely say most people were
ridiculing them, were disgusted by the show of wealth, the
phone party on the yacht, all of that. I'm just
(26:02):
more interested in why she gets a pass or influences
like Beca Bloom get a pass when other rich people's
weddings are really put under the microscope.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I reckon that Becka's self awareness, the way she wears
it and owns it with a bit of a sense
of humor, is incredibly refreshing for people. What people don't
like is rich people who pretend they're not really.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I don't think that that's qualifies Bezos. I don't know.
No one was being modest to being right.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
There is something about that It felt like it was papped,
and there were elements of that wedding that we got
access to. But Becka has this vibe of you're at
your really rich friend's house who you quite like, even
though they're really really rich, and they're showing you all
the jewelry, and you're kind of just they're going, oh
(26:56):
my goodness, she has.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
A wedding tree. Tell us what a wedding tree is.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Okay, I'd never heard of a wedding tree. It's sort
of like a Christmas tree, Holly, And what people do
is they put all their gifts for your wedding under it.
Except this isn't like a toaster.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
No, I don't need no toasters.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Ermez, the hatress, Silence, and also a Chanel bag which
she does unboxings, which I must be clear, I feel
physically sick.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I was watching I do not like it. I was
watching her do some of those and she opens something
from Mez or whatever, and it was like, this is
a wedding present to myself for committing to doing my best.
She's not even really pretending that she's getting married because
she wants to marry this guy. It's like, this is
another scene in my life, and we get a lot
(27:43):
of presents for it. She must also be getting paid
by all these jewelry brands, so she's not.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Vinal No, apparently not. Apparently not.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
She is an ambassador for Van kliefer Pell.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Anyway back to your point.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Get back to your point. Can I just on your
theory though, Can I just say there's very valid reasons
for disapproving of Bezos. We probably don't know that much
about where Mars mony.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Know where she works.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yes, So I think that, you know, really a lot
of the ridicule we have for Bezos and that wedding
and the showiness of that and the five day extravaganza
and all the people who went to it is also
kind of to do with And I'm just going to
gesture broadly and go the world right now, and we
can kind of hold the Bezoses of the world who
are at Donald Trump's inauguration, who are, you know, decimating
(28:29):
traditional industries around them? We can kind of hold them
accountable for it, right Whereas Beca Bloom we're just like,
who knows, Maybe she got all that money by lovely means,
And I'm really happy for her diamonds.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
So it's interesting that her proximity to Amazon as well,
the fact that her husband is an Amazon executive kind
of doesn't seem to taint her image. But when I
started being served videos of her, it was her telling
me what it was like to grow up that rich.
And there's an element of like purviness. She was just
born into this wild life.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Great segue. I think this is about how we feel
about gold diggers, and I'm sorry to use the term,
but I'm throwing it on the table because I think
that's why what's going on here.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
But she's not a gold digger, right exactly.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
So the Bezos wedding is about this idea that Lauren
Bezos is marrying up. And it turns out there's a
word for it, when you marry into a different social class.
It's called hypergamy, not to be confused with bigamy. Hypergamy,
I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. And we've
got a number of examples of that floating around right now.
There's Lauren Bezos, there's Huma Aberdeen, who is the Democratic
(29:35):
operative who married a Sorrows recently, and Milania Trump is
arguably a kind of archetype of that too. And there's
a lot of different feelings going around about how we
should feel about these women who are marrying up. If
you look at Cold Her Daddy. That podcast kind of
frames marrying up as a smart business decision. It does.
Or think of the TikTok that blew up. Let's have
(29:56):
a listen to it.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
I'm looking for a Man in Finance Trust don six
five Finance Trust Fun six five.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
That was a banger of last summer, I think in it.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It's also the movie in Aura, movie Materialists. All of
these movies and pop culture moments are about embracing the
idea of marrying up as a smart thing to do
as a woman in a world where the system has
rigged against you. Inequality has never been more rampant, And
yet we also hate women who do that. We also
feel disdain for them.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
They can't trust them.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
We can't trust them. Becca Bloom didn't do that. She
grew up rich. Yeah, she's marrying a rich guy. But
that's actually kind of beside the point. I think that
money comes from her family, and from familial wealth.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
That is so depressing.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I think too. I was reading this piece in the
Wall Street Journal about her that was saying, we live
in an age of such status anxiety that even the
really rich don't feel like they have enough. Like there's
a real to be able to look down the barrel
of a camera and go, I am really rich. I've
always been rich, I will always be rich. Come and
have a look at my house. Is like the reason
(31:00):
why her content goes viral is because she's exceptionally rich.
Like there was one that she did recently. She needed
wedding shoes or whatever, and so she just got on
her private jet and went to Paris. I didn't know
that people did that. And there's such normally a wall
up and a privacy about wealth where people who are
low income or middle income do talk about money. They
(31:20):
talk about salary, and they talk about rent, and they
talk about mortgages. But when people edge into those kind
of upper echelons, it becomes a little bit kind of.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Her wall will come up. Like she's only been doing
this since January. She is putting a massive target on
her head in many ways.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
No, but think of say the Sofia Richie Grange wedding,
which was another real celebrity wedding moment. She got married
in twenty twenty three, and that was kind of like
the crowning of quiet luxury, Like that was the culmination
of that trend. She got married in a number of
different design and dresses. I think she now created three
of them for the weekend. She was very celebrated on
the internet. And that's because she's Linel Richie's daughter. She's
(31:55):
rich herself.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
But do you think the people who because and obviously
when Becka Bloom's wedding photos dropped, because everybody's been very
invested in the journey. She's tried on twenty million dresses
and all the jewels and d da da da da,
when they drop, will everybody be watching it with aspiration?
All they've watching it like a sort of freak show almost.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
That's what's bizarre, is it that I seem to be
laced with some aspiration? It's not how I watch it.
But if we view weddings as content now, which is
really what they are, they're a great content strategy for
at least six months. You know, you do the tryons,
you do the venue. She's going to have so much
content out of this.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
That's why we say, will you take me as your
content strategy?
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Because it's literal, but it is literally that right. Like
I know this is an unpopular thing to say, but
choosing a place that you have no connection to not
that I mean, maybe I'm wrong, maybe she has a
deep connection to it, but like a beautiful villa and
Lake Como as your film set.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You're just saying that, Holly, because you've started learning Italian,
so you think you're like, you don't even do Dui
lingo every day.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
It's like, this is the film set for what I'm
imagining here, because you're so right. You know, we're obsessed
with this stuff, and we know that weddings in ordinary
people's lives give them a content strategy for six weeks
at least. But if you contrast this with say Charlie
XCX's wedding, which was in the northern summer in London
this year, where they went to the town hall, Hackney
town Hall, which is a very cool place to get married.
(33:14):
It used to be Chelsea town Hall, but no, that's
Hackney town Hall and you wear a short dress and
then you go to the pub and you have a
pint in the city and then you just have a
party with your mates. Now, obviously that's very true to
Charlie XCX's brand, but to me it feels like an
actual wedding that's about getting married to somebody and celebrating
your mates these kind of weddings, and I know that
you could argue that I'm jealous and dah da da dah,
(33:35):
but they just feel like a performance. There doesn't feel
like there's anything real about it. And the idea that
you can invite all mom and Dad's rich, rich friends
and they'll put presents under your tree.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
You don't need performances.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah, but there's levels, isn't there.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
I reckon too that there's something distinctly American about this phenomenon.
Becka Bloom doesn't exist in the UK, and she does
not exist in Australia.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I don't know if that's true, and.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
You'll imagine how different it would look in the UK
because there's such a sense of new money and old money.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I think about royal we.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
I'm not talking about weddings. I'm talking about content on
TikTok and the idea that there's transparency. Like in the UK,
there's a real sense of privacy. I'm thinking about Saltburn
and the way that there is a certain amount of
wealth that becomes very very private. But if Becka Bloom
existed in Australia, she would have a much larger target
on her back. I think and in the US. There's
a thing about the American dream and aspiration. And if
(34:28):
I just work hard enough, I too will have my
wedding in like Como with my gift tree. After the break,
we've got some recommendations just in time for your weekend,
including Holly's very fancy beauty.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I feel like Beca Blooms exactly right.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
We've got Becker Bloom over here with a present under
a gift tree.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Bloom.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
What did she say?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
She said, I'm giving it to myself for trying.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
For committing to trying my best.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
That's why Holly bought her self a balm.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
One unlimited out loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday
and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link
of the show notes to get us in your ears
five days a week, and a huge thank you to
all our current.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Subscrib Before we get to recommendations, I need to tell
you about ned the snail. A woman in New Zealand.
Her name is Gizelle. She was hanging in her garden
like you, Holly, and she noticed a snail.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I see snails. Oh my god, you know what I
do with them?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
What?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
No, I can't say Actually, I don't kill them. Don't worry.
I'm not going to kill them, but just put you
move them up. I throw them. I picked them off
because they're eating your things. Okay, pick them off, throw
them in the hedge.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
Well that's what Gizelle was going to do, Holly, and
Gizelle is very into the environment. So you're allowed to
throw your snail as long as you don't track that
hard gentless exactly right. So she was just going to
kind of move the snail along, was her euphemism, when
she noticed something unusual about Ned, and that was that
Ned had a shell that spiraled to the right. The
(36:03):
reason that's interesting is that nearly all snails on their
shell spirals to the left.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Oh my god, I did How closely are you looking
at this? Okale?
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Well, I should say that Gizelle was primed to notice
this because she works for the New Zealand geographic magazine. Right,
so she knew this.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
She's she's nail fluent, she knows she understand the significance
of shells.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Hang on, this is interesting. What's the big deal. Why
do we care that the snail shell's gone the wrong way? Well,
it's Ned's penis allow me to explain his reproductive organs
won't line up with other snails because their shell is
the other way. It's kind of like he's programmed the
opposite way around and in order for Ned to meet
(36:46):
a lovely like partner. I know this is very heteronormative.
We've not even asked Ned about his preferences where the
consent exactly. But if Ned wants to procreate.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Doesn't it every snail. It doesn't make little baby snails
exactly eat my cabbages.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
If he wants to, then he needs to find a
snail with the same shell. Right, So people in music
this would only happen in New Zealand. In New Zealand
are being encouraged to find Ned a lady friend. They
are looking for a snail with a shell that spirals
to the left. Giselle has of course acknowledged that they
will need to be compatible personality wise and the sparks.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Will have far Can we help? Can we look?
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Thank you, Amelia? That's what I thought, because we're not far,
are we We're not.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Far from snail to New Zealand exactly.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
The one on a plane. I think that if someone
finds a little lady.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
They're not protection going to be cool with them.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
No, they're not.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Maybe it's just I feel like Ned couldn't get in,
but I feel like Nora could get out.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I don't want to be rude, Ned, but you're not
an endangered species. If Ned does not get to procreate,
the garden snails will be fine. But then we're the
ones at the left side, they'll be all right. It's
very cute, but I'm sorry one less snail to chew
my cabbages. I'm here for it.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Vibes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun. This is my
best recommendation.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
It's Friday, so we want to help set up your
weekend with our best recods. Holly, please go first.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm going to give you my beck at bloom Reco
my beca bloom Star recommendation. I'm currently obsessed with cheeks.
You don't know like where it's come from, but I
go through phases when it comes to beauty and skin things,
and at the minute, I'm like, I've noticed it because
we're always on video. I've noticed that if I've got
color in my face, I just look more alive.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
That's a good so like a blush.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
So I bought this thing because and this is the
most twenty twenty five midlife sentence you'll ever read. I
saw Naomi Watts recommend this in Miranda July's newsletter. It's
a bomb by a brand called Jones Road. Now, Jones
Road is Bobby Brown, you know, she's a very famous yep.
But she's got her own brand. She's had it for
a few years now, but it's only just become available
(39:08):
to be shipped to Australia, so it's available in Australia now.
And this barmb, it's called Miracle balm, is kind of
controversial because some people think it's great and some people
think it's a bit of nonsense, a bit of Emperor's
New clothes, because it's kind of like a blush or
a highlighter, or almost like a lip barmb. But it's
for your face and it comes in thirteen different shades,
and even the ones that are quite pigmented are quite sheer.
(39:28):
But it makes you feel like plump top and dewy,
and it gives you a bit.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Of a shine, but it doesn't give you a lot
of pigment.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Not a lot of pigment. They've got some of them
have got more pigment than others, and some are almost clear.
But I just I love I've been putting it on
and it just it kind of makes me feel like
So it's she they say on their marketing. You can
either wear it. You could wear it with a bare
face if you're like got gorgeous skin like Naomi What's
you could put it on a bare face and it
just gives you a bit of or you can put
(39:55):
it over foundation, or you can put it on halfway
through the day to kind of pick you up. Blah
blah blah.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
And it's very much.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
It's got a highlighter, yeah, and it's kind of glowy,
and it comes in quite a big pot, so it'll
lasts your long time. But it is expensive. It's seventy bucks, okay, right,
and they come in all these different shades. And then
at the moment if you're shipping that, like my shipping
was about fifteen dollars, but if you'd spent loads of
money you get free shipping obviously. But anyway, I really
like it, So I'm putting that butt because I know
(40:21):
that's a lot of money. There is also lots of
dupes of it because it's become really famous and fantastic.
So you can also buy Revolution Balm Glow and you
can buy that in lots of shades too, at like
a price line, and it's very similar, a very similar product.
There are quite a few of them now, but this
is the one that everyone says is the best, and
you can get that at price line. Revolution do really
good things. I love the highlighter and that is literally
(40:42):
fourteen bucks and in fact it's on so at the
minute for nine dollars. So there you go, and you
can probably does Becker Bloom have a dupe version of
a van plet van rpels thrice around the neck chain?
I don't think so, Amelia.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
What's your recommendation?
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Okay? So mine is a thing called a laughing yoga.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
It just doesn't seem that you are a million no, I've.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Got like a real hippie street.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Okay. So it's done in my neighborhood by a lovely
lady named Timoco. But you can look up places to
practice it across Australia on the laughing yoga website Laughter
Yoga Dash Australia dot org has classes. Basically, it's not
really yoga at all. You stand around in a circle
and you basically just laugh together. You do various exercises
(41:31):
that are meant to trigger laughter. But the good news
is that fake laughter and real laughter actually have the
same effects on the body. Basically, they're a form of
breath work. Like laughter is a form of breath work.
You're taking in a whole ton of oxygen and then
that's calming down your nervous system.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
So there's a group of I'm assuming mostly women, maybe
not standing in a circle.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
I did take my partner along.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
Do you tell jokes like how do they like laugh?
How do you have a comedian like?
Speaker 1 (41:57):
How so, for instance, one of them is you go
ha ha ha ha ha. Because you're all doing it
in this sort of circle together, it feels really silly.
I took my partner and my best friend, and then
we just felt so silly we just actually started laughing.
And then by the end, laughter it it is contagious
and it is sort of generative, like it builds on itself.
(42:18):
So by the end you're practically hysterical and there are
tears rolling down your face. And it's true that afterwards
you feel incredibly calm because you're just taking in all
this good oxygen and you didn't even have to do
a downward dog.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Ha ha ha ha.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I like that as an idea. I like that a
lot more than breathwork.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Yeah, and I like a lot more than actual yoga
because it doesn't involve corse strength.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Do you have to do any bending around and stuff?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
You don't. You just start in this circle and you
don't even really need to wear yoga clothes for it,
because again, you're not moving that much.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Don't have to wear soft pants, you don't.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
This class was followed by a sound bath, which was
also lovely, where you lie down and the practitioner uses
various singing bowls to create great sound frequencies that are
meant to hum along with your body. But you don't
have to do that. You can also just walk away
from it and feel amazing and relaxed.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Okay, that's amazing. I am recommending a drama on Netflix
call Hostel with a lot of the out louders have
messaged me about.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
If it ever comes down to a choice, you'll make
the right one.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
You can't allow the French to dictate terms.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
You were meant to be the politician people could trust her.
Nothing will distract me. Prime Minister for your husband has
been abducted.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Abil you need to resign this prime minister by tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
I scrolled past it the first few times, and then
I even read the synopsis and went, yeah, just kind
of didn't grab me. Gave it ten minutes totally in
It stars Saran Jones. She's this British actress who's in
every British crime show.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
She's particularly an everything tense. Yeah, it's like she specializes,
you know, intense things. Since which was the one.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
The Summer Green show it was called vigils Enough that
was so so good. The premise is basically that she
is the UK Prime Minister and her husband is a
doctor who is working overseas and he is captured and
held hostage, and it's about why these people are angry,
what they want. Julie Delpi plays the President of France Swoon,
(44:32):
who's also blackmailed, and she is before sunset. I've got
a watch all of them.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
So heaven. And I know this is a sidebar because
I'm watching this too, Jesse. Watching these two women in
these really powerhouse roles is great. But Julie Delpi seeing her,
I have not think I'd seen her much lately. No
she looks amazing sidebar, but she looks amazing, French cool,
the red lip, the red limp, fantastic. She and the
tension between them and the story about her so good.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
It's great, And at no point is it even referenced
or explored that they both happen to be female world leaders.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
It just is.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
It is such a good show. Really enjoyed it, and
it's a mini It's five episodes, so it doesn't drag
on non really good.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Can I ask you a question This is not a
spoiler's question, but so I'm an episode at the end
of episode four, I've got one left, but I have
to wait till I get home because Brent and I
are watching it. Is the ending satisfying? Did they stick
the landing?
Speaker 3 (45:24):
I found it's satisfying. Yes, But I would love to
talk to people about the end of episode one. It
just starts conversations between you and your partner where you
look at each other and you go, hang on, would
you quit your job?
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Yes? Save my life?
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yeah, it's an interesting conversation.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
A massive thank you to all of you out loud
As for being here with us this week. We do
appreciate you, and to our fabulous team. Of course we're
putting it together. Oh a reminder, if you'd like to
watch us as well as listen to us, we do
all look spiffing today, don't we yea, and you can
check out my blowy cheeks exactly right. Then, Remember that
our episodes are all now on YouTube and you can
(46:02):
actually watch them anytime. Just go in there look for
Mama and me are out loud. You'll find it. We
brush our hair, Jesse and Amelia reather out.
Speaker 3 (46:09):
A big thank you to our team group executive producer
Ruth Devine, executive producers Emmeline Gazillis and Sasha tanic As.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Senior audio producer is Leah Porge's video producer Josh Green,
and our junior content producers are Coco and Tessa.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
Out loud as We know you're not ready to say goodbye.
And we have a subscriber episode that we did yesterday
which is all about family drama and if you could
cut off your parents completely. It is a dilemma that
was sent in from a listener.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
It is would you yes or no?
Speaker 3 (46:43):
You can listen via the link in our show notes.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Jesse, I also want to tell all the out Louders
about the extra episode of No Filter that dropped last
week where you interview an amazing guy called Dr Muhammad
Mustafa or Dr Moe as he's called kind of everywhere
because he's a doctor from Western Australia and he has
been over to Gaza twice since the war volunteering working
in hospitals, particularly with children. So he's got this mission,
(47:10):
I guess might be the right word, to establish a
children's hospital in Gaza, a mobile children's hospital, and he
wants it to be separate from government, separate from politics,
and he's really pushing hard for that. I just thought
it was an amazing conversation. I thought Dr Moe was
so interesting and it's also that's also on YouTube if
you want to watch it rather than.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Listen, shout out to any Mum and mea subscribers listening.
If you love the show and you want to support us,
subscribing to MoMA Mia is the very best way to
do so. There's a link in the episode description
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.