November 6, 2025 • 49 mins
How do you tell your teenage influencer that their lucrative side-hustle is about to become illegal? On today's show Holly, Jessie and Em discuss the Aussie family of Youtubers who've decided to leave the country to beat the looming social media ban.
Also, in this age of full disclosure, why is there one kind of sex that we absolutely do not talk about? And is that silence a mark of respect, or a doing disservice to long-term relationships?
Plus, what is a Compliment Hour and why do I need a Rage Ritual? Em is sharing some trending life hacks for all of us.
And Jessie has an update about her twins. Were her instincts spot on, or did she (and our tarot card reader) get some stuff wrong?
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Recommendations
Em is all about Chad Powers on Disney +.
Jessie recommends The Elements by John Boyne.
Holly recommends a playlist for writing or focus. Creative Writing No Words by Katie Beth Bylerley and Music for writing, study flow and focus by Zoe Foster Blake, both are on Spotify.
Join the Mamamia Out Loud Summer Book Club where we'll be reading All Fours by Miranda July.
What To Listen To Next:
- Listen to our latest episode: Every Single Thing We Have In Our Handbags
- Listen: 'Smellmaxxing' & The New Place We Apparently Stink
- Listen: Uh Oh, Harry & Meghan. The Fallout From Andrew’s Banishment
- Listen: This Is Just The Beginning Of Andrew’s Humiliation
- Listen: The New Love Language & A Fitness Dating Test
- Listen: Mia, Nobody Wants This & A Robust Debrief
- Listen: Everything We Refuse To Spend Money On
- Listen: An Unevenly Open Marriage & ‘Likeable’ Kristen Bell
- Listen: Other People’s Marriages & Your New 'Shobby'
- Connect your subscription to Apple Podcasts
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
You're listening to a mom with Mere podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I have some news for all the godmothers out there.
I'm sure there's a few godfathers too.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And all the anties or the out louder anties exactly right.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Of my twins, I am nearly seventeen weeks and I
had been waiting to get the other gender of the
child right. This is something we have a lot of
us have learned together, is that when you try and
find out the gender of your twins, they can tell
you that there's a boy chromosome hanging out, but they
can't tell you if they're both boys, or if there's
(00:44):
one boy, or that's going on. But motherly intuition here,
I was like, guys, I don't need the test. It's
two boys. I'm having identical boys.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
You've been saying that since the get.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Goes exactly, I've never been more sure of anything. I
told Luna, I said, your brothers are on their way.
I have just been so attached to that as a fact.
I knew I had this upcoming appointment and I was
getting a scan, and I was like, they can probably
at this stage, they can probably see what's what. And
a couple of nights before, I have this really vivid
(01:15):
dream that there's a little boy who's identical to Luca,
and there's a little girl who's blonde with blue eyes,
who looks like Matilda, like Claire's daughter. I woke up
and I thought, oh, that's a bit weird that I
had that dream. I must be my subconscious hedging my
bets a bit going. It still could be a girl
on a boy anyway. I go to Disappointment and he
(01:37):
starts with twin A. Who's a lower twin?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Is this the official language?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So when they're scanning them, they're like, twin A, twin B. Yes,
and twin should we read other thing into who gets
to be the A type of.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Day win A is the one who's looking like they're
going to be the first twin to come out because
they're closer to the vagina.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Although I wonder with a quod question, Holly with a
C section, I wonder if your twin A twin B
can get mixed up? Anyway, So twin A, we got
a little penis, and I'm like, there.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
We go, big tick, there's a penis inside.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
There's a penis inside me. I have one penis and
I was like, Okay, now we're going to go to
twin B and they go up and they've got this
great angle as though like sitting under a chair, like
looking up. I'm like, that's so weird. I can't see
a penis. And my obstetution was like that is a girl,
which means I am having girl boy twins, which means
(02:31):
they are not identical, which means that everything makes less.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Sense, even less sense, even less sense. So when you're
so confused, I'm very excited. I think boy girl twins
are so interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, I've become quite obsessed with boy girl twins now.
And everyone's like, oh, thank god. It was going to
be so weird having identical twins. And even like I'm
one my brother in law, everyone was like, yeah, you're
gonna have that weird identical twin shit. And I was like,
what weird? Identical?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That is so funny. So the fact that they're fraternal, yes,
that means what This isn't genetics, this is what does it?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
This means two separate eggs fertilized at different times or whatever.
They each have their own placenter.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
So identical is one egg that's split ye into two.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But The thing is when they have their own placenta
and stuff, it can still be that they just split
a little bit, which is what we love, which is
what I was like, Yeah, absolutely, they split early. That's
why they're two boys.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Like guys.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I don't need the tests.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I have my intuition.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And this is why we have another stupid question.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Are they in their own little bags?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yes, so they like have their own digs, like their
own little studio like me.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So it's like Am and her up stairs exactly. It's
like that, but they're kind of head to toe at
the moment. They're diagonal. I'm so excited, and I think
sometimes they kick each other because I was watching them
and I was like, I'm pretty sure they'd feel.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
It, liked we bump it into someone else. Is here?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Are you going to do like hand in hand names
like Jack and Jill?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh yeah, well, I was speaking to someone out loud
as like, no, they go together. I lost my beautiful
grandfather the other way and his name was Philip Hurtle, right,
so he doesn't give us a lot to work. And
someone said you should call them Hurtle and Myrtle. It's
like the out louders would be so polite.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
A middle name. Yeah, her name Leriens all the hurtles out. Yeah,
I've never heard that name. It sounds like something in
a children's book. I know is great.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, So if I do that, then the outluders be like,
so beautiful for you.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I love it for you and your family.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I'm so excited. Welcome to Mamma Mia out loud. It's
what women are actually talking about on Friday, the seventh
of November.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
And I am Holly Wayne Wright, I'm am Vernon.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
And I'm Jesse Stevens.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
And on our agenda for today. Charlie makes a living
out of her half million YouTube subscribers. She's traveling the
world getting off a big deals. But in one month's
time she can't do that from her anymore because she's
welcome to the Ozzie families leaving the country because of
the social media ban.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Plus, there are two new types of rituals. They're having
a moment right now. These two are very different from
each other, and they bode deeply.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Upset peak And why don't married people talk about sex anymore?
Does it feel immature? Is it too intimate? Writer Natasha
shol has some theories married sex needs a rebrand. This
is according to writer Natasha Schol, who wrote for The
Guardian last week and pose the question sex talk isn't
(05:41):
off limits when we're with friends who are single, dating,
or in new relationships. So why is mentioning anything about
sex in long term relationships kind of cringe? While people
in long term relationships dissect lots of intimate, private personal things.
If you think about in laws, work, parenting, health, money,
(06:03):
for some reason, at a certain point, set stops coming
one hundred. Schol says even the term married sex makes
her WinCE. But she'd much rather hear about you getting
railed on your kitchen bench than your new granite bench top.
I'd like to hear about both. Where'd you get the
(06:24):
granite bench top? This I found to be shockingly true.
Why do you think this is?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I was thinking about this because my friendship group is
split in half, where half of us are single and
half of us own relationships, and all in our late
twenties early thirties, And I've noticed that it's up to
the single people in the group to talk about sex,
bring the sex, to bring the sex content.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's because the married people don't a boy.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Today, and the married people I was like studying that
and you can see like the brain cogs going in
their heads going Okay, I need to do this, this
and this. And I think it comes down to, and
I've noticed this with myself as well, when I'm dating
and I know, so I'm dating someone casually versus serious,
depending on how I want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Our sex lives.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
If I'm dating a guy and I know it's going
to be super super casual, I'm way more open talking
about all the intricate details of sex with family friends.
Probably not family friends friends, you guys the podcast. If
I'm dating the wider world, If I'm dating someone, I'm like, oh,
there could be something here.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I don't say anything.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, And why do you think that is?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I think because when it comes to sex in relationships,
sex is the only thing that's just for the two
of you, and then the minute you open the door
to that, you're letting in so much feedback from people,
whether that's actually been said or not. I have a
friend who I've been friends with since primary school and
she's been with her partner for twelve years now. They
(07:55):
started dating in high school. They just recently got married.
Every time I see him, I still think about the
weird sex thing he did when he was seventeen. Yes,
every single time.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
You're right, though, is is there a point in relationships
where feedback is not welcome anymore? So the whole Like
if you've just started dating a guy and you say
so he really likes doing X, y Z, and your
friends are like red flag, red flag, or your friends
are like, oh no, that's weird or whatever. There's a
point in relationships where this is not up for negotiation anymore.
We're not open. It's like baby names. It's like you
(08:26):
can't tell people because if they go, eh, You're like,
that's my life partner, you're talking about that. I don't know.
Is there a point where you just close the.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Door on the sea, because then it comes then in
your head when you're with that person, there are so
many rules of what people think you should be doing
and what you shouldn't be doing, and then you end
up like having sex with this person with like four
of your friends also in the room.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yes, and is not literally not literally? Probably some people
are into that. No. I think there's also security in going.
If I'm enjoying it and they're enjoying it, then that's
just our businesses, right, and once you sit down and
you talk about everyone's sex life and that there are
(09:11):
elements that still come up, right, like with my friends,
how many times a week if you have had a baby? Really,
people very interested in how long it took you to
have sex again? And then when you had sex again,
did you feel like having sex? Did it hurt? Do
they talk about the position you had sex in?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Do they talk about like the ins and outs? No? No, no, no, no.
It is just almost clinical. It's quite clinical, right. But
I wonder if we all sat there and talked about
like real details of it, if that would invite comparison,
and if comparison can be corrosive in a long term relationship,
because I think when I was really young, I thought, yeah,
(09:50):
you should be having it all the time, and did it.
And now I'm kind of like, whatever works for you,
and maybe it is no one else's business. And the
idea that that bond would be shared with people outside
and as you say, am they see him, they see you,
and they're imagining what they told you with all the details.
I don't like the idea of that.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Agreed. There's a problem though with this, right, So I'm
the same. I never do, I never do, I never will.
But I think there is a problem with the fact
that the only sex that gets discussed is from a
very particular cohort because to your point about comparison Jesse
being corrosive, yes, but also the fact that no one
(10:29):
talks about what sex looks like in a long term relationship,
particularly over a long period of time, and as you
age and as you go through different life stages and
all those things, like the fact that no one talks
about that leaves this massive gap of expectation that we
all think we're doing it wrong. Right, So if you're
not ever talking about it, then in your mind, everyone
(10:50):
else is doing it more than you. Everyone else is
happier than you, everybody else is more fulfilled and doing
more exciting things. And I think that there is still
even when you're quite old, quite grown up, as I
would say, we still have this kind of cool girl
And maybe this is generational, I don't know, kind of
cool girl doctrine in us somewhere that like, we should
(11:11):
all want sex all the time, otherwise our relationships aren't healthy.
We should all be having sex all the time, otherwise
our relationships aren't healthy or on the flip side of that,
if you're not having sex, and some couples and this
is what I mean about the fact no one talks
about it, some long term couples don't have sex four years,
then you should definitely be getting divorced, like putting hardcore
(11:32):
rules around relationships. So it's kind of interesting because it's like, no,
I don't want to talk about it. No, it's not
very sexy somehow. But the problem with it is is
we only talk about and shine a spotlight on one
kind of sex, and so nobody talks about how your
libido changes as you get older. No one talks about
(11:52):
what happens to male libido as you get older, and
that also is a real thing. We just stick with
this one view of sex that we all did talk
about when we were in our twenties, which was all
the time, love it, the dirty, the better, the more,
the better, you know what I mean. Like, Yeah, so
it's like we're not allowing ourselves to evolve.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Do you reckon too that you get to a stage
where you think, I don't want to be seen as
sexual by people I'm not having sex with, or by
people I don't ever want to have sex with there
was this thing when we were young, like I remember,
you never talk about sex as much as when you're
not having it because you're too young, right, Like, you
would sit there as teenagers and the details you would
pore over about this kiss or this, like yeah, really
(12:33):
early you would talk and talk and talk, and it's
because you're experimenting and you're working out who you are
and whether you're a sexual person, all that kind of stuff,
and then you kind of go. It's like a tap
that's turned on with some people and turned off with others.
And so the idea it would be a kin sitting
down with my friends now and talking about the step
(12:53):
by step ins and outs of my sex life would
feel like sitting down with my mom and doing it
because they don't see me as a sexual person, and
I don't want them to see me as a sexual person.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Think like this is one of the things that's really
confusing about getting older and about long relationships changing, is like,
if you're twenty five and you're pretty confident that you
are I am a sexual person, I mean, what does
that even mean? But we could probably all point to
people in our lives or ourselves at different times and
go very sexual person.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeh yeah, people.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
On reality team, Yes, very sexual person, right, I.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Think everyone I'm Reality.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Then if that person gets to forty ish or whatever
and like that part of them has shifted. I don't know.
I think it really messes with your identity, is it
not act you're not allowed to discuss it messes with
your identity more.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I think it's just also just out of like curiosity
and interest, because if you're talking about your sex life
and your in a relationship, I don't just know you.
I also know the person that you're never respect it's
a respect thing. Whereas if I'm talking about my sex life,
you'll just always know him as the crier or the
strong man ya like that.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
You're never seen a city character. Yeah, exactly, bum either
this guy that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
And I think it's just really interesting because when where
and I'm talking about like hetero sexual relationships mainly firstly,
women talk about like the details of sex way more
than men do.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yes? I went deep on a Reddit thread that said
exactly this, that women assume that their male partners are
talking about sex, but that in fact, men talk about
it way less than.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
When even men who are dating casually they're like, yeah,
it was good. Yeah, and then he did this, and
then my leg went there and then his head went there.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Can I ask, actually, am, are you at all interested
in married sex?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Be honor your friends who are in long term relationships.
Do you wish they were.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Talking to you about their sex lives or do you
find it so fucking boring?
Speaker 3 (14:49):
It's not boring, It's just that I feel like, because
my married friends, because I know their partner, I feel
like I need to get some sense of consent from
their partner to also be taught, like listening in on
this conversation.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
And ultimately, when you don't know that person, you don't
care whether you violate their privacy or not, but when
you'll never see them again.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
But if I'm feeling like I'm going to be in
a relationship with a person, I stay so quiet about
my sex life because I'm like, that could be a
person in.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
All of our lives.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, we're going to go away on holiday together, and yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
You need that like men in Black memory or raise
the way you're kind of like because now we've got serious.
So all the things I told you about how this
guy likes it when I.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Forget I ever said that.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
You know, when you find out a lot about married
people's sex lives is when they split up. Really, when
people split up and they may have been together for
a long time, you will often find out that sex
was a big deal. Because sex is still a very
big deal, whether it's the absence of it or the
regularity of it, or that somebody isn't feeling a certain way,
(15:47):
it's still a massive issue in lots of relationships, and
the fact that it's a bit taboo to talk about
it with other people can just pour shame on it more.
And so often when your friends split up, you're suddenly
really only wanted to do that, or you hadn't done
that for this long, or like they'll share them. But
everybody else just kind of nods as if I wouldn't
(16:08):
know anything about that.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
We're completely normal. It's like, what does normal mean? No comment.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Out loud is in a moment we talk about influencer
children and the Aussie influencer family leaving the country because
of the social media ban. Now, I love a story
that I don't really know how I feel about, and
this is one of those. Right in one month's time,
Australia is making history around the world by banning social
(16:38):
media for under sixteenes. Now, to be clear, I do
know how I feel about that. I am a big fan,
big fan. Woot. I can just say to my kids,
now that's illegal, put it down and you're going to prison.
Really looking forward to outsourcing and.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
What's your gut feel on the social media band just
out of curiosity.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
So it was kind of out of my world because
I don't know any like young people. I don't have
any young people in my life. I don't follow any
young people on socials. I didn't like it. Why because
I remember when I was young, social media, especially Snapchat,
was the way I maintained friendships. Yeah right, and now
these kids are going to have no friends, no friends.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah. But when I was twelve, I could buy Siggi's
in the shop and then we evolved. So I think
one day we might look at your fourteen year old
snapchat and go that was weird anyway. Anyway, So I
know how I feel about that, although I know there
are many feelings about it and lots of experts don't agree,
but this story confuses me a bit. We published this
(17:38):
piece on Mama Mia this week. It was an interview
by Ailish Delaney. She did an interview with this Australian
newtuber family and it went nuts, more than one hundred
thousand views. Everybody was reading this story. They are called
the Empire Family, right. They're a family of four, Beck
and Beck, who are two moms with the same name
Love that. Beck and Beck have a son called Presley
(17:59):
and a daughter called Charlotte, who they all refer to
as Charlie, and the four of them as the Empire Family,
have almost two million followers to get and individually, Charlie
has almost half a million on YouTube, plus she's on
TikTok and Instagram and all the other places. Now, to
be crystal clear, there's nothing inappropriate about what the Empire
family do on YouTube. It's like what would have become
(18:22):
known as very sort of typical family vloggers stuff. They
go on holiday and they share their tips. Charlie does
room tours, they do swimwear fashion, they do like halls,
and they do lots and lots of spunk on right,
very standard. So Charlie's getting dressed for Halloween, She's giving
you a tour of her wardrobe. She's doing get Ready
with Me, all stuff that a lot of teenagers I
(18:42):
know do all the time for free, and Charlie does
not because she's making good money with the content. The
thing is, of course, from December the tenth most major
social media platforms must take reasonable steps. This is the
language that the government has kind of used to prevent
Australians under the age of sixteen from having accounts, and
(19:03):
that means that they need to find and deactivate existing
accounts held by unders sixteen's right and also prevent them
from opening new ones. So that suddenly means that although
the Empire Family is an entity, is safe, Charlie's account
in particular is not. So. The Empire Family are leaving
the country. They are moving to London from Perth effective
immediately to get away from this, they said to Alish
(19:25):
from Mammamea when they were doing the interview. Beck said
that they'd been skeptical too about putting their kids on YouTube,
but they were very strict about what they were and
weren't allowed to put on there. They edited the content,
they managed all the deals and now you know, as
a family, they've been flown around the world all the time.
They're getting offers to have big money deals. Charlie has
(19:46):
her own Amazon shop front, like this is big money
and although in theory they can see why the social
media ban is being encouraged, they don't think it's going
to work and they're leaving. They're not the only ones.
There's another massive Australian YouTuber family called Norris Nuts. They're
from Newcastle, although recently they moved to Bondi where they
bought a fifteen million dollar house, which I think illustrates
how well they're doing. There are six kids in that family,
(20:09):
so they've been doing this for a long time, more
than a decade. Brook and Justin Norris. He's a former
and Olympic swimmer, and they've got six kids. Again, their
content's very sort of wholesome, but all the kids are
characters in it. They've got a massive fortune. They've been
posting lately about whether or not they might move to America.
What do we think? The reason that this plays with
(20:29):
my mind a bit is I'm kind of like, ah,
can't you all just wait till your kids are sixteen
to do what you do? But then I also think
that there's a small cohort of professional kids there always
has been, right, whether that might be sports kids, whether
that's performers whose families have moved so that their kid
(20:51):
can pursue their dream. Is this that different our kid
influencers just the new child stars, and we're just seeing
families making their decisions based on that.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I wondered this too. My first instinct with this was
wouldn't it be great if Aali's account could be frozen
for a few years, Because anyone who has grown a
social media account knows that a lot of hours and
a lot of work have gone into that didn't happen
overnight to get your half a million followers, and that's
quite substantial, and it's lucrative, right, And part of me
(21:23):
is like, what's the rush? Let's just pause it now,
But then she lose followers. Well, if you were to
deactivate an account, temporarily freeze it, keep all the followers there,
and then can she log back on her sixteenth birthday?
That was what I was thinking. But the government has
said we can't promise that we can't like in terms
of the tech. And this is what I keep coming
back to with this social media band is that it
(21:45):
is a as are just about all most laws utilitarian.
This is about the greatest good for the greatest amount
of people, and there are going to be some people
who this is not ideal for The earning capacity of
a fourteen year old is not something that I think
competes with the dangers and the damage that social media
(22:10):
is doing. Because I was even thinking, I went back,
I went how long she's been doing this? And went
back about three years, so at about eleven she started
the account and all power to you do you? But
she wouldn't be allowed to work in a cafe at
eleven and make money. Of course, your point is valid,
holy that she could be in an advertisement, she could
be could.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Be in Annie. Yes, she could be, you know, a
child actor on any number of professional sets.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
The thing about those sets and that has come into
play thanks to you know, workplace laws and everything in
Australia being stricter and stricter, but there are very clear laws.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
What these kids are creating with their families is content
that people enjoy and engage with, and whatever you personally
might think about it, like kind of the inanity in
a way of a teenager showing you around their room.
And I don't say that as a criticism of Charlie.
I live with a teenager. I know how her name,
show me around her wardrobe. But like, whatever your personal
(23:08):
viewpoint about that is, this is basically people creating content
that people want to watch. That is basically now as
we know, just like a TV show or a movie
or a musical, people are watching YouTube instead of watching
Lego Masters or you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, yeah, I know. And that's where I think that
it gets confusing.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
I just think with the whole ben in itself, what
I did when I've heard this story was I try
to find all the loopholes, because I know every kid
will just be finding loopholes, and kids are really smart,
so they will find a way to be on tech.
And it just sounded like to me that, yes, social
media seems like a very harmful place for kids right now,
and in doing that, it's like we're punishing the kids
(23:49):
by taking it away from them when that's the one
thing that they had to like connect with people. And
even with Charlie, like even though she's moving overseas for
her job, she still has to start again in a
way because she's also losing all of her followers. But
all the followers will be having their accounts taken from
them as well.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
If they're children, which most likely are. Yeah, except it's
not becoming illegal for kids under the age of sixteen
to watch YouTube. That is not what's happening. It's become
illegal for them to have their own accounts, but they
can watch the family account like they can watch my account,
their sister's account, anything. They just can't have their own account.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
But wouldn't you want your own, Like it's for example, Netflix,
and we all have our own accounts on Netflix. I
get so frustrated when my mum uses my account because
she throws my algorithm all over.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yes, you different.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I had to think about this right because I went,
all right, if we're banning accounts, but we're not banning
the viewing of the content.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
What's the difference.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
And the difference is that you can't tailor an algorithm
to a child. You can't advertise to a child directly, like, yes,
there are still going to be ads and stuff, but
we're not data mining on an eleven year old and
then radicalizing them with a feed that just gives them
more and more stuff that can lead them down a
(25:07):
rabbit hole. And we all know, all of us who
have deleted the apps off our phone and had to
look at it via a browser for a day, you
spend no time because it's boring. It's really boring, right,
So even YouTube, yeah, you just don't fall down rabbit
holes in the same way.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That's why I think it's clever. Is I think that
YouTube has become a platform that people will watch. But
having your own account, that's for you when you're under sixteen,
as you say, allows all kinds of data to be
captured on you, advertising to be taken, and you can't
you can't comment, And this is the whole thing as well,
as a lot of advocates have come out and said,
especially advocates who have lost children to bullying via social media,
(25:44):
and they have said, if people under sixteen couldn't have accounts,
then my daughter wouldn't have been this ruthlessly bullied.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
So I think that's fair. But your point, Am, about
whether the audience is going to be compromised, I think
is interesting because I wondered that about the Norris Nuts
family as well. If the viewing time goes down because
kids don't have their own accounts anymore, then you'd be kind.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Because Mom's going, what are you watching? Why are you
watching that girl taking you around a wardrobe? Why are
you watching those kids race to get out of the houses?
That looks really silly, and Mom, you don't get it.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
The other loophole is that Beck and Beck, Charlie's parents,
they can still have their account and they can feature
Charlie as much as they are.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
It is really interesting. I just I mean as I say,
I'm a big supporter of the band. I don't actually
think there's anything wrong with what these families are doing,
and in some ways it's kind of sad that they're
moving away. But then I also think maybe that's just
a decision you have to make, as you say, Jesse,
for the greater good.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Really after the break, our very best rerecos for the week.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
And do you have a rage ritual?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop new segments of Mummy
Are out Loud just for Mummy A subscribers follow the
link in the show notes to get your daily dose
of out Loud and a big thank you to all
our current subscribers.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
The rituals have been having a moment, particularly right now.
I feel like everyone wants to develop healthy habits, get
into patterns, be like the best versions of themselves.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
They can be.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
And there are two new rituals I've seen mainly on
TikTok that are making the rounds, and I need to
bring them up because they both made me quite sad.
So the first one comes from Becka Bloom. Do we
remember Becka Bloom?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
My new friend you lot introduced me to her when
she was having the most ridiculous wedding ever. Yeah, I
went to y'all went to her wedding in Italy where
there were some multi colored fireworks. There were like fourteen
different dresses. She is the billionaire, wererule supposed to like? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:45):
She started the loud luxury trend where she was like,
I have a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Here's what it looks like. Yeah, and we're all obsessed
with her.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
So she recently posted a TikTok with her husband where
they listed five controversial rules in their relationship.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Their words not mine things in our marriage. That just
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I'll go first.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
We never talk negatively about each other in front of
other people.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
If I have something to say, I'll see.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
It to his face.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Okay me next, once a week, I'll sit back a
down and compliment her for an hour straight.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I do you enjoy a compliment hour?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
And that included him pag for everything.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I don't believe that for a minute. Is he also like,
has anyone checked his bag for the louver of jewels?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I mean, like, come on, I think he was also
reading a script because there was a pause, and he goes,
but that's the bare minimum, and I was like, yes,
it is. They don't talk negatively about each other in public,
which I kind of that that's a good rule.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, it's very chalant of.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Him, and the most controversial being that he spends an
hour a week showering her in compliments.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I quite like, I don't say anything controversial about this.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I quite like the compliment hour.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
She says, I love my compliment hour, Mike. So I
don't think it's returned. I think it's just Jessee, You're
amazing and everything. But do you really think that someone.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Could spend a whole hour on compliment content? So do
you want to hear Luca talk for an hour?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
No? Maybe eight minutes. I could do with an eight
minute like once with fire compliment round. The rule is
they can't be the same compliments as us. They've got
to be creative.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
You'd have to keep the notes up going on your phone,
wouldn't you every time your partner did anything even vaguely
not awful, you have to put it in your phone
so you could just be like the way you wipe
the bench top.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I quite like an on demand compliment. I think that's.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Actually quite nice. So you go, I'm feeling a bit blurt,
tell me something nice about you.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I already do that, And he says, I don't do
compliments on demand, which is why I think that this
kind of written into the skin, because he loves a routine.
He does love a routine exactly like.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
That, and it's being loved loudly. We've been talking about
that a lot lately.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
This is so cramp Unless you're doing my compliment our
in public with other people, so other people can't hear it.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
That's even more cringe, is it.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Well, I don't think so. I think it's quite nice.
So other people know how good of the person I am.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
You're so clever, you're so smart. Oh my god. So
it gets to the hour, a whole hour.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
It's your love language, words of affirmation. Yes, yeah, absolutely,
that's fine. Then you're lad you're coming.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Our acts of service. Mind's gift giving.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Like begger HER's his gift giving.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
He said he has to give her a gift every week,
and I'm like her standards be high, y, I'm just like,
do something for me this week. I've had this sore
foot and so I was in my like I recorded
Monday's show from the shed at the bottom of the garden,
and every time I'd get up to get a cup
of tea whatever, it was like ouch and a pain.
And I was just rage, texting him like you are
not looking after me enough. I'm just a monster. I'm
(30:50):
so sorry, babe anywhere.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Actually that kind of blots into my next ritual. It's
called the rage ritual. So it's a wellness trend that
involves channeling deep anger and suppressed emotions and releasing them
through screaming or physical hitting things. So it starts off
in a meditative state and you have to go deep.
You have to think about everything that makes you angry,
(31:15):
and you have to go from like childhood till present
and then you release it. So it's been recommended on
TikTok that it's best done in a safe manner in
a private space outside where you can use a stick
and safely hit it on the ground. I know what
you're thinking, though, like some of us don't have access
to the outdoors, like myself. But there's intuitive advisor. Her
(31:37):
name is Mia Magic.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
She suggests be a magic on.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
She suggests tell us pushing against a wall while saying
get away from me.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
That is so in a city, imagine my neighbors. It's
very satisfying.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Anyway, you're moving yourself, so I feel like you're taking
the anger back. It's rebounding off the wall and going
back into you. I'm a big fan of screaming into
a pillow.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, or getting in to the car, turning up the
music and just swearing in like a private environment. I
also find finding someone to blame they don't have to
have anything to do with the rage, and sending a
long winded two hundred three hundred word text message about
their character flaws can really help with rage. I was
on the receiving end of this on the weekend. Claire
(32:26):
was raging about something not to do with me. She's
picked up a phone yelled at me for like five minutes.
Luca just looked at me and was like, what was
that about? And I was like, I don't know. She
was just really angry, and it was like trying to
make it all my fault, but I think that it
helped to get it all out.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
You know, there's also you know how a while ago
Amelia recommended on the show laughing yoga. Yeah, because there's
also screaming yoga where you can go and which seems
very much more now than laughing yoga in some ways,
where you can go and do your downward dogging and stuff,
and then you're all just like, yeah, really loudly, what
do you think You just booked yourself into a normal
(33:04):
and you'd just be like, oh, I see very much
how this helps because as a speaking as a repressed person,
I can't help it. On the rare occasions when I
scream and shout it's very rare, it feels fucking great.
It makes me go, oh, this is all those angry
people are always going around yelling. They're not messed up,
(33:26):
they're completely sang wind.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Have you ever gone into a toilet cubicle and just
opened your mouth and go silent screaming the silent scream
even in a shower and you do a silent scream
and you go.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
I also like aggressive sing alongs in the car, like,
you know, put a really angry and just be like
you know, that's why some of those angry songs are
really good. Just scream along with that. And what do
you call those rooms where you can smack things around?
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I've always wanted to go to one of those.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Smashrooms they're called where there's like crockery and things and
you can take a back. Apparently they are really popular
with adolescent boys and middle aged women. Those are the
two categories, the same.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
People who are taking creatine.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
They are also smashing ship unsign heroes, the we didn't
know we need it. Oh my god. This is why
it's tricky the middle.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Do you want to go to a smash room?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Exactly together? I love it. Vibes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual,
something fun. This is my best recommendation.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
It's Friday, so we're gonna set up your weekend with
our best recommendations. And I'm going to go first because
this one I have been desperate to tell you about.
I Reckon. This is top three records of the year. Yeah, yeah,
because I read a series when I was away recently
and I could not wait to come back and tell
(35:09):
you all about them. There is an author named John Boyne,
and he wrote The Boy in the Stripe Pajamas, and
there's a sequel to The Boy in the Stripe Pajamas,
which it is as good, if not better. And he
has written this new series which I kept hearing about.
It is called The Elements, and it is a quartet
of novellas, which that sounds very clever.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Does novella mean tiny book?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yes, it means.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
It's like a novel, but cute. Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
And the thing with I can find novella's a little
bit unsatisfying. Sometimes I just kind of go oh, I
don't really get there. For me, this is a full book.
It's just a little bit shorter. Maybe I barely even noticed.
But each book is a self contained story, but they're interconnected.
So the first one is they're called like Water, Fire,
(35:58):
Earth Wind. I think they are the Elements.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Yes, we watched Avatar, Yes, Captain Punn.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
The first one, Water is about this woman who escapes
to a tiny Irish village and you don't know what
she's escaping from, but she's in like self proclaimed exile,
and it unfolds that her husband is guilty of unimaginable
crimes and it's a question of her culpability what she
has to answer for and then the second one is
about a young footballer. It is from his perspective and
(36:31):
he is on trial because he filmed his footballer mate
having sex with a woman who says it was not consentual,
like that it was rape, and it's from his perspective,
so it's really really interesting. The third one even like,
you know, more incredible. But the way that John Boyne
writes men, women, heroes, villains, all different ages, lifespans is
(36:55):
just He's got to be one of the most masterful
writers writing at the moment. And a lot of the
themes I thought were actually similar to your book Colligue.
That's why when I was away, I was like, Holy
has to read these she will love them. They are
rated so so highly everywhere, reviewed really well, so so good,
and I got through all four while I was away,
like they are brilliant. So they are called the Elements,
(37:17):
but you start with water and then you go on.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
To the did you can ask you a question, did
you read literal books or digital books?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I did it on my kindle and so it told
me what the next one was, and that actually brings
me to my I have a Kindle gripe, which is
it doesn't tell the world what you're reading. And when
I was at the pool, I always look at what
people are reading. It's the best advertising. I often strike
up a conversation and say I love that book or whatever.
(37:47):
I worry about kindles and what they're doing to the
book world.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
You know what they should do the back of your kindle.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
It needs to show the cover. It needs to show
the cover because I want to signal to the world
that I'm reading this brilliant book.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Although sometimes it's good that you don't know, because sometimes
you feel like you should put your book that you're
really loving inside. Anna Karnina, Yes, like something really intelligent,
because you're like, I'm just reading about fairies getting it
on and you are judging me. Not that there's anything
wrong with that, but you're right, Jesse. It is a
missed marketing opportunity. It is.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It makes me sad that I can't see through your
kindle and see what you're reading.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Maybe just every five minutes to yell out the title,
just so people.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Know, Holly, what have you got for it?
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Mine's writing related. Actually, do you listen to music when
you're writing, either of you?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Oily White noise No.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Sometimes I try to get into like Mozart because I
heard that's meant to be good distracting.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
It's interesting because I've always been a silence person, but
lately I've been struggling with focus, like always, like that's
just an ongoing life thing, right, And lots of people
said to me that one of the real advantages to
listening to music when you're writing is it can be
one of those signals that you need to give yourself,
Like you know, I think we're talking about this on
the show a while ago, Like you light a candle,
(39:05):
I'm riding you know my PHONEO, I'm writing, like a
signal that you give yourself. So I was like, that
sounds clever. If I'm going to give myself a forty
minute window to get some words down, the idea that
the music is on and this kind of music is
on and it will stop when you know when it's
done is smart. So I started looking at writing playlists
(39:27):
on Spotify, and there are loads, and there are two
I want to recommend for. And it's just not just
about writing. This is also studying any kind of focus,
deep work, deep work.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Often at work, I've just got to put some headphones
in so I can concentrate so I can do it.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
One of them is called creative writing no words, because
no words is important to me. It's not for everybody.
I know some people who can happily write with lyrics,
but can't.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I can't know lyrics no lyrics and.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Start writing the lyrics well. And also the minute the
lyrics are there, I'm listening to the lyrics. Yes, although
I always explain to my kids that there are two
types of songs. There are story songs, and that's a
nice noise song, and so you could listen to that's
a nice noise song, I guess.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
But anyway, I lyric free.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah, we pass your desk. Creative writing no words in
SPO music by Katie Beth Brierley Boggan really good. But
my favorite is by Zoe Foster Blake, and it is
really irritating that Zoe Foster Blake is so good at
so many things. But her playlists are really good. Her
break up.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Playlist, running playlist, I'm never run.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Kids playlist like. I have a sneaking suspicion that this
must be her procrastination hobby like making playlists, because they're
very good. But her one that's called music for writing
study Flow and Focus is the one I've probably been
using most regularly, and it's really good and it's really long,
so it rarely I just stop and start it as
(40:50):
I need to, and it rarely repeats, which is good
because the thing about sound is sometimes it gets you
in when you're writing and you're like, oh when that song,
When that song was playing, I was having a really
bad time trying to solve this problem. So you kind
of need fresh things all the time, very little lyrics,
a little bit of light lyrics. But I highly recommend
and also out loud As. If you've got recommendations for
(41:12):
excellent focus writing studying playlists, we want to hear them
because I reckon it's game changing. I reckon it's really
helped me.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Oh how about you?
Speaker 1 (41:21):
M okay?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
I wanted to recommend a show on Disney Plus, and
I feel like it's flown quite under the radar because
it is quite basic. And I'm starting off by saying
that because I got a bit of trouble from out
louders after my House of Dyna mite.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Did you like on your recommendation? Did I like it?
I have we need to sit down and.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Discuss everyone's talking about the ending. You don't know spoiler
because I have no spoilers, but a lot of.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Discussion about that, yeah, a lot of Yeah I should
have disclosed that, but I did it and keep got mad.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
But it's time. I loved it. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So I'm starting off with saying, this is a basic recommendation.
It is a show called Chad Powers and it was
created and stars Glenn Powell.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
So it's time to face it. Your football career is over.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
First were the grandest stage in American sports, Kirk and
for Russ Holiday a chance to self the special You
were show voting and you bleue the game.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
They can't get anything.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
That's his insane.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Oh my goodness, Georgia's picked the ball up. Georgia.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
He's gonna win a championship.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
What was Holiday thinking?
Speaker 3 (42:31):
It's time for you to move on.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
There's just one problem dead, I'm not done with football.
I adore Glen Pale. If you haven't read the new
profile of Glen Pealell by Marina Hyde, it's good, Guardian,
go read it. It is genius anyway.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
So he plays It's very much like Ted Lasso, just
in the NFL, in footy in America. So he plays
this big NFL star named Russ Holliday, super egotistical, super Assholey.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
No one likes him.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
He has kind of a bit of a fall from grace,
like something really big happens and everyone's like, oh, you
can't come back from this, and then.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
You feel sorry for himself.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
He really misses football, so he develops this alter ego
and he puts on this prosthetics kind of like she's
the man vibes.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, that's why his nose looks funny on the stairs.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
And he creates his alter ego named Chad Powers and
tries out for the NFL again and gets into another team,
and his Chad Power's personality is so different from his
real personality Russ Holiday and the whole series it's really
really funny, very sporty. And the first season has just finished.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
And when I first started out, I was like, oh,
this is just.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Ted Lasso, but in like a boring way, and it
gets better and better and better, and it's just really funny.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
It's like one day you can watch with the I.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Mean, there's swear words and stuff, but just feels like
very nice, like I haven't watched anything that's just really
like pleasant to watch in all every.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Streaming service is trying to replicate Ted Lasso.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah, I appreciate that. So it's a series. It's not
a movie. It's a series.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
It's only six episodes in the first season.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
I think I feel like they've made a mistake in
making Glenn Powell ugly in this series, because don't we
watch him because he's not ugly, Not that he's ugly.
That sounds harsh, but you know what I mean, the
deliberately made Powell.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
That's the part you like.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
And that's the thing I like about Glen Powell is
how he looks like Glen Pale.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
I know, but like, this is the first series where
I've watched Glen Pale and I was like, WHOA, you're
a good actor.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Oh, he's a great actor. Didn't realize that a movie.
I didn't realize that from the other one. This is
not going to be helpful because I'm going to forget
the movie. But the movie itself is a bit problematic,
but he is such a good actor, and he plays
this kind of con man and hit man. Yes, it's
got there's some things in that movie that I'm not into,
but he's amazing in it and he's like, it's like
he's trying so hard to be the next Tom Cruise
(44:42):
because Tom Cruise is not endearing because he went to
a school of acting. Yeah, and he has to be
the next Tom Cruise. And he very much like he
calls up all the movie stars and he's like, tell
me how to be. I just think he's great and
he's got a hot source line. This is my perfect man. Okay, yeah, yeah,
I digress. Okay, so it's on Disney Plus Disneywers. It's
really good. But don't take that.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
Don't judge me.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Out louder is a massive thank you for being here
with us with M. Jesse, her twins and I.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
We've got five of us.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Of us, we can't make a thank you to all
our out louders and to our team. Don't forget we're
on YouTube. Tell them about I don't want to objectify anyway.
I just pointed M's tits, but that's because I don't
want to objectify em in any way. But on Monday's show,
it moved me. Yeah, merely A Jesse and I had
(45:39):
a big conversation about something that changed your outfit. Tell me, yes,
I'm going braless for the foreseeable future.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Can I ask what cup size you are? This is important.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I'm a C. It's very private. Why are you asking
that question?
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Because, as we said, a cup girlies have always been
able to go. But I think between a B and
a C is where we have been socialized. Believe we
must put them in brass and I just I really
appreciate that you've got them out today.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Earlier this year was the first time I never really
paid attention to my boobs. Earlier this year was the
first time I looked in the mirror and I was like,
they've changed a little bit, and I was like, I'm
just going to show them off.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yes, yes, yes, just like Sydney Sween.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Yes really helped you. I like that anyway, So if
you're watching on YouTube, you're welcome. Perfect out loud. Before
we go, we do have exciting news. It's something that
all three of us have wanted to do for ages,
and we're all involved.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
This summer, we are finally doing a book club and
it's all thanks to Royal Caribbean who have come on
board to help make it happen.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
We haven't really told everybody about this, have we know
we're going to do a book club where we're going
to pick three books at the start of the summer
that we're all going to read together out louders and
then get together to discuss. Now, it's going to start
at the end of November, so we're giving you lots
of time to at least read the first book. And
we asked out louders what these books should be. You've
(47:05):
given us some great ideas. We have some two The
first one we're doing is not a new book. It's
a recent new classic, though Jesse tell them what it is.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
It is all fours by Miranda July, and amongst ourselves,
we have been talking about how much we've wanted to
do a show on this book because it has it's
been sort of a culture defining moment and a year old.
Now right, yeah, you're a bit older, would you say?
It's about midlife, It's about sex, it's about desire, it's
(47:34):
about motherhood. It is probably one of my topics over
the last year.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
The New York Times called it the first great perimenopausal novel.
And I love the idea of the three of us
from different eras and different ages discussing that like selling
your book for our first book club So if you
haven't read All Fours by Miranda July and you want
to be part of our book club, read it, listen
(48:01):
to it, input it. We're going to have a link
in the show notes for where you can buy Miranda
July's book. And as we drop the other books, because
we're still arguing about one of them, we'll let you
know that too. If you just can't get enough of
our Amelia Lester on out Loud, then we have another
podcast you need to listen to. It's our sister show
called Parenting out Loud, and it's everything parents are secretly
(48:22):
thinking about right now. It drops once a week on
Saturday mornings, and it might be exactly what you need
as you head into another hectic weekend. Amelia talks through
the politics of the school group chat and lays down
some ground rules, and Kira Knightley made one of our
hosts cry with a very relatable take on one of
the hardest parts of parenting you can never actually prepare for.
(48:45):
It's the same vibes you get here just parenting Coded
search Parenting out Loud, Tap follow and thank us later
links in the show notes.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
A big thank you to our team, our group executive
producer Ruth Devine, executive producer sash Art Tanic.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
Our senior audio producer is Leah Porge's, our video producer
is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa
Bye Bye Bye Mama.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which
we've recorded this podcast.
You're listening to a mom with Mere podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I have some news for all the godmothers out there.
I'm sure there's a few godfathers too.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And all the anties or the out louder anties exactly right.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Of my twins, I am nearly seventeen weeks and I
had been waiting to get the other gender of the
child right. This is something we have a lot of
us have learned together, is that when you try and
find out the gender of your twins, they can tell
you that there's a boy chromosome hanging out, but they
can't tell you if they're both boys, or if there's
(00:44):
one boy, or that's going on. But motherly intuition here,
I was like, guys, I don't need the test. It's
two boys. I'm having identical boys.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
You've been saying that since the get.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Goes exactly, I've never been more sure of anything. I
told Luna, I said, your brothers are on their way.
I have just been so attached to that as a fact.
I knew I had this upcoming appointment and I was
getting a scan, and I was like, they can probably
at this stage, they can probably see what's what. And
a couple of nights before, I have this really vivid
(01:15):
dream that there's a little boy who's identical to Luca,
and there's a little girl who's blonde with blue eyes,
who looks like Matilda, like Claire's daughter. I woke up
and I thought, oh, that's a bit weird that I
had that dream. I must be my subconscious hedging my
bets a bit going. It still could be a girl
on a boy anyway. I go to Disappointment and he
(01:37):
starts with twin A. Who's a lower twin?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Is this the official language?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So when they're scanning them, they're like, twin A, twin B. Yes,
and twin should we read other thing into who gets
to be the A type of.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Day win A is the one who's looking like they're
going to be the first twin to come out because
they're closer to the vagina.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Although I wonder with a quod question, Holly with a
C section, I wonder if your twin A twin B
can get mixed up? Anyway, So twin A, we got
a little penis, and I'm like, there.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
We go, big tick, there's a penis inside.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
There's a penis inside me. I have one penis and
I was like, Okay, now we're going to go to
twin B and they go up and they've got this
great angle as though like sitting under a chair, like
looking up. I'm like, that's so weird. I can't see
a penis. And my obstetution was like that is a girl,
which means I am having girl boy twins, which means
(02:31):
they are not identical, which means that everything makes less.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Sense, even less sense, even less sense. So when you're
so confused, I'm very excited. I think boy girl twins
are so interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, I've become quite obsessed with boy girl twins now.
And everyone's like, oh, thank god. It was going to
be so weird having identical twins. And even like I'm
one my brother in law, everyone was like, yeah, you're
gonna have that weird identical twin shit. And I was like,
what weird? Identical?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That is so funny. So the fact that they're fraternal, yes,
that means what This isn't genetics, this is what does it?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
This means two separate eggs fertilized at different times or whatever.
They each have their own placenter.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
So identical is one egg that's split ye into two.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But The thing is when they have their own placenta
and stuff, it can still be that they just split
a little bit, which is what we love, which is
what I was like, Yeah, absolutely, they split early. That's
why they're two boys.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Like guys.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I don't need the tests.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I have my intuition.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And this is why we have another stupid question.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Are they in their own little bags?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Yes, so they like have their own digs, like their
own little studio like me.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So it's like Am and her up stairs exactly. It's
like that, but they're kind of head to toe at
the moment. They're diagonal. I'm so excited, and I think
sometimes they kick each other because I was watching them
and I was like, I'm pretty sure they'd feel.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
It, liked we bump it into someone else. Is here?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Are you going to do like hand in hand names
like Jack and Jill?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh yeah, well, I was speaking to someone out loud
as like, no, they go together. I lost my beautiful
grandfather the other way and his name was Philip Hurtle, right,
so he doesn't give us a lot to work. And
someone said you should call them Hurtle and Myrtle. It's
like the out louders would be so polite.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
A middle name. Yeah, her name Leriens all the hurtles out. Yeah,
I've never heard that name. It sounds like something in
a children's book. I know is great.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, So if I do that, then the outluders be like,
so beautiful for you.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I love it for you and your family.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I'm so excited. Welcome to Mamma Mia out loud. It's
what women are actually talking about on Friday, the seventh
of November.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
And I am Holly Wayne Wright, I'm am Vernon.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
And I'm Jesse Stevens.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
And on our agenda for today. Charlie makes a living
out of her half million YouTube subscribers. She's traveling the
world getting off a big deals. But in one month's
time she can't do that from her anymore because she's
welcome to the Ozzie families leaving the country because of
the social media ban.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Plus, there are two new types of rituals. They're having
a moment right now. These two are very different from
each other, and they bode deeply.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Upset peak And why don't married people talk about sex anymore?
Does it feel immature? Is it too intimate? Writer Natasha
shol has some theories married sex needs a rebrand. This
is according to writer Natasha Schol, who wrote for The
Guardian last week and pose the question sex talk isn't
(05:41):
off limits when we're with friends who are single, dating,
or in new relationships. So why is mentioning anything about
sex in long term relationships kind of cringe? While people
in long term relationships dissect lots of intimate, private personal things.
If you think about in laws, work, parenting, health, money,
(06:03):
for some reason, at a certain point, set stops coming
one hundred. Schol says even the term married sex makes
her WinCE. But she'd much rather hear about you getting
railed on your kitchen bench than your new granite bench top.
I'd like to hear about both. Where'd you get the
(06:24):
granite bench top? This I found to be shockingly true.
Why do you think this is?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I was thinking about this because my friendship group is
split in half, where half of us are single and
half of us own relationships, and all in our late
twenties early thirties, And I've noticed that it's up to
the single people in the group to talk about sex,
bring the sex, to bring the sex content.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's because the married people don't a boy.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Today, and the married people I was like studying that
and you can see like the brain cogs going in
their heads going Okay, I need to do this, this
and this. And I think it comes down to, and
I've noticed this with myself as well, when I'm dating
and I know, so I'm dating someone casually versus serious,
depending on how I want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Our sex lives.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
If I'm dating a guy and I know it's going
to be super super casual, I'm way more open talking
about all the intricate details of sex with family friends.
Probably not family friends friends, you guys the podcast. If
I'm dating the wider world, If I'm dating someone, I'm like, oh,
there could be something here.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I don't say anything.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, And why do you think that is?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I think because when it comes to sex in relationships,
sex is the only thing that's just for the two
of you, and then the minute you open the door
to that, you're letting in so much feedback from people,
whether that's actually been said or not. I have a
friend who I've been friends with since primary school and
she's been with her partner for twelve years now. They
(07:55):
started dating in high school. They just recently got married.
Every time I see him, I still think about the
weird sex thing he did when he was seventeen. Yes,
every single time.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
You're right, though, is is there a point in relationships
where feedback is not welcome anymore? So the whole Like
if you've just started dating a guy and you say
so he really likes doing X, y Z, and your
friends are like red flag, red flag, or your friends
are like, oh no, that's weird or whatever. There's a
point in relationships where this is not up for negotiation anymore.
We're not open. It's like baby names. It's like you
(08:26):
can't tell people because if they go, eh, You're like,
that's my life partner, you're talking about that. I don't know.
Is there a point where you just close the.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Door on the sea, because then it comes then in
your head when you're with that person, there are so
many rules of what people think you should be doing
and what you shouldn't be doing, and then you end
up like having sex with this person with like four
of your friends also in the room.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yes, and is not literally not literally? Probably some people
are into that. No. I think there's also security in going.
If I'm enjoying it and they're enjoying it, then that's
just our businesses, right, and once you sit down and
you talk about everyone's sex life and that there are
(09:11):
elements that still come up, right, like with my friends,
how many times a week if you have had a baby? Really,
people very interested in how long it took you to
have sex again? And then when you had sex again,
did you feel like having sex? Did it hurt? Do
they talk about the position you had sex in?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Do they talk about like the ins and outs? No? No, no, no, no.
It is just almost clinical. It's quite clinical, right. But
I wonder if we all sat there and talked about
like real details of it, if that would invite comparison,
and if comparison can be corrosive in a long term relationship,
because I think when I was really young, I thought, yeah,
(09:50):
you should be having it all the time, and did it.
And now I'm kind of like, whatever works for you,
and maybe it is no one else's business. And the
idea that that bond would be shared with people outside
and as you say, am they see him, they see you,
and they're imagining what they told you with all the details.
I don't like the idea of that.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Agreed. There's a problem though with this, right, So I'm
the same. I never do, I never do, I never will.
But I think there is a problem with the fact
that the only sex that gets discussed is from a
very particular cohort because to your point about comparison Jesse
being corrosive, yes, but also the fact that no one
(10:29):
talks about what sex looks like in a long term relationship,
particularly over a long period of time, and as you
age and as you go through different life stages and
all those things, like the fact that no one talks
about that leaves this massive gap of expectation that we
all think we're doing it wrong. Right, So if you're
not ever talking about it, then in your mind, everyone
(10:50):
else is doing it more than you. Everyone else is
happier than you, everybody else is more fulfilled and doing
more exciting things. And I think that there is still
even when you're quite old, quite grown up, as I
would say, we still have this kind of cool girl
And maybe this is generational, I don't know, kind of
cool girl doctrine in us somewhere that like, we should
(11:11):
all want sex all the time, otherwise our relationships aren't healthy.
We should all be having sex all the time, otherwise
our relationships aren't healthy or on the flip side of that,
if you're not having sex, and some couples and this
is what I mean about the fact no one talks
about it, some long term couples don't have sex four years,
then you should definitely be getting divorced, like putting hardcore
(11:32):
rules around relationships. So it's kind of interesting because it's like, no,
I don't want to talk about it. No, it's not
very sexy somehow. But the problem with it is is
we only talk about and shine a spotlight on one
kind of sex, and so nobody talks about how your
libido changes as you get older. No one talks about
(11:52):
what happens to male libido as you get older, and
that also is a real thing. We just stick with
this one view of sex that we all did talk
about when we were in our twenties, which was all
the time, love it, the dirty, the better, the more,
the better, you know what I mean. Like, Yeah, so
it's like we're not allowing ourselves to evolve.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Do you reckon too that you get to a stage
where you think, I don't want to be seen as
sexual by people I'm not having sex with, or by
people I don't ever want to have sex with there
was this thing when we were young, like I remember,
you never talk about sex as much as when you're
not having it because you're too young, right, Like, you
would sit there as teenagers and the details you would
pore over about this kiss or this, like yeah, really
(12:33):
early you would talk and talk and talk, and it's
because you're experimenting and you're working out who you are
and whether you're a sexual person, all that kind of stuff,
and then you kind of go. It's like a tap
that's turned on with some people and turned off with others.
And so the idea it would be a kin sitting
down with my friends now and talking about the step
(12:53):
by step ins and outs of my sex life would
feel like sitting down with my mom and doing it
because they don't see me as a sexual person, and
I don't want them to see me as a sexual person.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Think like this is one of the things that's really
confusing about getting older and about long relationships changing, is like,
if you're twenty five and you're pretty confident that you
are I am a sexual person, I mean, what does
that even mean? But we could probably all point to
people in our lives or ourselves at different times and
go very sexual person.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeh yeah, people.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
On reality team, Yes, very sexual person, right, I.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Think everyone I'm Reality.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Then if that person gets to forty ish or whatever
and like that part of them has shifted. I don't know.
I think it really messes with your identity, is it
not act you're not allowed to discuss it messes with
your identity more.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I think it's just also just out of like curiosity
and interest, because if you're talking about your sex life
and your in a relationship, I don't just know you.
I also know the person that you're never respect it's
a respect thing. Whereas if I'm talking about my sex life,
you'll just always know him as the crier or the
strong man ya like that.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
You're never seen a city character. Yeah, exactly, bum either
this guy that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
And I think it's just really interesting because when where
and I'm talking about like hetero sexual relationships mainly firstly,
women talk about like the details of sex way more
than men do.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yes? I went deep on a Reddit thread that said
exactly this, that women assume that their male partners are
talking about sex, but that in fact, men talk about
it way less than.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
When even men who are dating casually they're like, yeah,
it was good. Yeah, and then he did this, and
then my leg went there and then his head went there.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Can I ask, actually, am, are you at all interested
in married sex?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Be honor your friends who are in long term relationships.
Do you wish they were.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Talking to you about their sex lives or do you
find it so fucking boring?
Speaker 3 (14:49):
It's not boring, It's just that I feel like, because
my married friends, because I know their partner, I feel
like I need to get some sense of consent from
their partner to also be taught, like listening in on
this conversation.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
And ultimately, when you don't know that person, you don't
care whether you violate their privacy or not, but when
you'll never see them again.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
But if I'm feeling like I'm going to be in
a relationship with a person, I stay so quiet about
my sex life because I'm like, that could be a
person in.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
All of our lives.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, we're going to go away on holiday together, and yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
You need that like men in Black memory or raise
the way you're kind of like because now we've got serious.
So all the things I told you about how this
guy likes it when I.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Forget I ever said that.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
You know, when you find out a lot about married
people's sex lives is when they split up. Really, when
people split up and they may have been together for
a long time, you will often find out that sex
was a big deal. Because sex is still a very
big deal, whether it's the absence of it or the
regularity of it, or that somebody isn't feeling a certain way,
(15:47):
it's still a massive issue in lots of relationships, and
the fact that it's a bit taboo to talk about
it with other people can just pour shame on it more.
And so often when your friends split up, you're suddenly
really only wanted to do that, or you hadn't done
that for this long, or like they'll share them. But
everybody else just kind of nods as if I wouldn't
(16:08):
know anything about that.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
We're completely normal. It's like, what does normal mean? No comment.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Out loud is in a moment we talk about influencer
children and the Aussie influencer family leaving the country because
of the social media ban. Now, I love a story
that I don't really know how I feel about, and
this is one of those. Right in one month's time,
Australia is making history around the world by banning social
(16:38):
media for under sixteenes. Now, to be clear, I do
know how I feel about that. I am a big fan,
big fan. Woot. I can just say to my kids,
now that's illegal, put it down and you're going to prison.
Really looking forward to outsourcing and.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
What's your gut feel on the social media band just
out of curiosity.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
So it was kind of out of my world because
I don't know any like young people. I don't have
any young people in my life. I don't follow any
young people on socials. I didn't like it. Why because
I remember when I was young, social media, especially Snapchat,
was the way I maintained friendships. Yeah right, and now
these kids are going to have no friends, no friends.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah. But when I was twelve, I could buy Siggi's
in the shop and then we evolved. So I think
one day we might look at your fourteen year old
snapchat and go that was weird anyway. Anyway, So I
know how I feel about that, although I know there
are many feelings about it and lots of experts don't agree,
but this story confuses me a bit. We published this
(17:38):
piece on Mama Mia this week. It was an interview
by Ailish Delaney. She did an interview with this Australian
newtuber family and it went nuts, more than one hundred
thousand views. Everybody was reading this story. They are called
the Empire Family, right. They're a family of four, Beck
and Beck, who are two moms with the same name
Love that. Beck and Beck have a son called Presley
(17:59):
and a daughter called Charlotte, who they all refer to
as Charlie, and the four of them as the Empire Family,
have almost two million followers to get and individually, Charlie
has almost half a million on YouTube, plus she's on
TikTok and Instagram and all the other places. Now, to
be crystal clear, there's nothing inappropriate about what the Empire
family do on YouTube. It's like what would have become
(18:22):
known as very sort of typical family vloggers stuff. They
go on holiday and they share their tips. Charlie does
room tours, they do swimwear fashion, they do like halls,
and they do lots and lots of spunk on right,
very standard. So Charlie's getting dressed for Halloween, She's giving
you a tour of her wardrobe. She's doing get Ready
with Me, all stuff that a lot of teenagers I
(18:42):
know do all the time for free, and Charlie does
not because she's making good money with the content. The
thing is, of course, from December the tenth most major
social media platforms must take reasonable steps. This is the
language that the government has kind of used to prevent
Australians under the age of sixteen from having accounts, and
(19:03):
that means that they need to find and deactivate existing
accounts held by unders sixteen's right and also prevent them
from opening new ones. So that suddenly means that although
the Empire Family is an entity, is safe, Charlie's account
in particular is not. So. The Empire Family are leaving
the country. They are moving to London from Perth effective
immediately to get away from this, they said to Alish
(19:25):
from Mammamea when they were doing the interview. Beck said
that they'd been skeptical too about putting their kids on YouTube,
but they were very strict about what they were and
weren't allowed to put on there. They edited the content,
they managed all the deals and now you know, as
a family, they've been flown around the world all the time.
They're getting offers to have big money deals. Charlie has
(19:46):
her own Amazon shop front, like this is big money
and although in theory they can see why the social
media ban is being encouraged, they don't think it's going
to work and they're leaving. They're not the only ones.
There's another massive Australian YouTuber family called Norris Nuts. They're
from Newcastle, although recently they moved to Bondi where they
bought a fifteen million dollar house, which I think illustrates
how well they're doing. There are six kids in that family,
(20:09):
so they've been doing this for a long time, more
than a decade. Brook and Justin Norris. He's a former
and Olympic swimmer, and they've got six kids. Again, their
content's very sort of wholesome, but all the kids are
characters in it. They've got a massive fortune. They've been
posting lately about whether or not they might move to America.
What do we think? The reason that this plays with
(20:29):
my mind a bit is I'm kind of like, ah,
can't you all just wait till your kids are sixteen
to do what you do? But then I also think
that there's a small cohort of professional kids there always
has been, right, whether that might be sports kids, whether
that's performers whose families have moved so that their kid
(20:51):
can pursue their dream. Is this that different our kid
influencers just the new child stars, and we're just seeing
families making their decisions based on that.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I wondered this too. My first instinct with this was
wouldn't it be great if Aali's account could be frozen
for a few years, Because anyone who has grown a
social media account knows that a lot of hours and
a lot of work have gone into that didn't happen
overnight to get your half a million followers, and that's
quite substantial, and it's lucrative, right, And part of me
(21:23):
is like, what's the rush? Let's just pause it now,
But then she lose followers. Well, if you were to
deactivate an account, temporarily freeze it, keep all the followers there,
and then can she log back on her sixteenth birthday?
That was what I was thinking. But the government has
said we can't promise that we can't like in terms
of the tech. And this is what I keep coming
back to with this social media band is that it
(21:45):
is a as are just about all most laws utilitarian.
This is about the greatest good for the greatest amount
of people, and there are going to be some people
who this is not ideal for The earning capacity of
a fourteen year old is not something that I think
competes with the dangers and the damage that social media
(22:10):
is doing. Because I was even thinking, I went back,
I went how long she's been doing this? And went
back about three years, so at about eleven she started
the account and all power to you do you? But
she wouldn't be allowed to work in a cafe at
eleven and make money. Of course, your point is valid,
holy that she could be in an advertisement, she could
be could.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Be in Annie. Yes, she could be, you know, a
child actor on any number of professional sets.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
The thing about those sets and that has come into
play thanks to you know, workplace laws and everything in
Australia being stricter and stricter, but there are very clear laws.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
What these kids are creating with their families is content
that people enjoy and engage with, and whatever you personally
might think about it, like kind of the inanity in
a way of a teenager showing you around their room.
And I don't say that as a criticism of Charlie.
I live with a teenager. I know how her name,
show me around her wardrobe. But like, whatever your personal
(23:08):
viewpoint about that is, this is basically people creating content
that people want to watch. That is basically now as
we know, just like a TV show or a movie
or a musical, people are watching YouTube instead of watching
Lego Masters or you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, yeah, I know. And that's where I think that
it gets confusing.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
I just think with the whole ben in itself, what
I did when I've heard this story was I try
to find all the loopholes, because I know every kid
will just be finding loopholes, and kids are really smart,
so they will find a way to be on tech.
And it just sounded like to me that, yes, social
media seems like a very harmful place for kids right now,
and in doing that, it's like we're punishing the kids
(23:49):
by taking it away from them when that's the one
thing that they had to like connect with people. And
even with Charlie, like even though she's moving overseas for
her job, she still has to start again in a
way because she's also losing all of her followers. But
all the followers will be having their accounts taken from
them as well.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
If they're children, which most likely are. Yeah, except it's
not becoming illegal for kids under the age of sixteen
to watch YouTube. That is not what's happening. It's become
illegal for them to have their own accounts, but they
can watch the family account like they can watch my account,
their sister's account, anything. They just can't have their own account.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
But wouldn't you want your own, Like it's for example, Netflix,
and we all have our own accounts on Netflix. I
get so frustrated when my mum uses my account because
she throws my algorithm all over.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yes, you different.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I had to think about this right because I went,
all right, if we're banning accounts, but we're not banning
the viewing of the content.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
What's the difference.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
And the difference is that you can't tailor an algorithm
to a child. You can't advertise to a child directly, like, yes,
there are still going to be ads and stuff, but
we're not data mining on an eleven year old and
then radicalizing them with a feed that just gives them
more and more stuff that can lead them down a
(25:07):
rabbit hole. And we all know, all of us who
have deleted the apps off our phone and had to
look at it via a browser for a day, you
spend no time because it's boring. It's really boring, right,
So even YouTube, yeah, you just don't fall down rabbit
holes in the same way.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That's why I think it's clever. Is I think that
YouTube has become a platform that people will watch. But
having your own account, that's for you when you're under sixteen,
as you say, allows all kinds of data to be
captured on you, advertising to be taken, and you can't
you can't comment, And this is the whole thing as well,
as a lot of advocates have come out and said,
especially advocates who have lost children to bullying via social media,
(25:44):
and they have said, if people under sixteen couldn't have accounts,
then my daughter wouldn't have been this ruthlessly bullied.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
So I think that's fair. But your point, Am, about
whether the audience is going to be compromised, I think
is interesting because I wondered that about the Norris Nuts
family as well. If the viewing time goes down because
kids don't have their own accounts anymore, then you'd be kind.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Because Mom's going, what are you watching? Why are you
watching that girl taking you around a wardrobe? Why are
you watching those kids race to get out of the houses?
That looks really silly, and Mom, you don't get it.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
The other loophole is that Beck and Beck, Charlie's parents,
they can still have their account and they can feature
Charlie as much as they are.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
It is really interesting. I just I mean as I say,
I'm a big supporter of the band. I don't actually
think there's anything wrong with what these families are doing,
and in some ways it's kind of sad that they're
moving away. But then I also think maybe that's just
a decision you have to make, as you say, Jesse,
for the greater good.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Really after the break, our very best rerecos for the week.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
And do you have a rage ritual?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop new segments of Mummy
Are out Loud just for Mummy A subscribers follow the
link in the show notes to get your daily dose
of out Loud and a big thank you to all
our current subscribers.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
The rituals have been having a moment, particularly right now.
I feel like everyone wants to develop healthy habits, get
into patterns, be like the best versions of themselves.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
They can be.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
And there are two new rituals I've seen mainly on
TikTok that are making the rounds, and I need to
bring them up because they both made me quite sad.
So the first one comes from Becka Bloom. Do we
remember Becka Bloom?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
My new friend you lot introduced me to her when
she was having the most ridiculous wedding ever. Yeah, I
went to y'all went to her wedding in Italy where
there were some multi colored fireworks. There were like fourteen
different dresses. She is the billionaire, wererule supposed to like? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:45):
She started the loud luxury trend where she was like,
I have a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Here's what it looks like. Yeah, and we're all obsessed
with her.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
So she recently posted a TikTok with her husband where
they listed five controversial rules in their relationship.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Their words not mine things in our marriage. That just
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I'll go first.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
We never talk negatively about each other in front of
other people.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
If I have something to say, I'll see.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
It to his face.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Okay me next, once a week, I'll sit back a
down and compliment her for an hour straight.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I do you enjoy a compliment hour?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
And that included him pag for everything.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I don't believe that for a minute. Is he also like,
has anyone checked his bag for the louver of jewels?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I mean, like, come on, I think he was also
reading a script because there was a pause, and he goes,
but that's the bare minimum, and I was like, yes,
it is. They don't talk negatively about each other in public,
which I kind of that that's a good rule.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, it's very chalant of.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Him, and the most controversial being that he spends an
hour a week showering her in compliments.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I quite like, I don't say anything controversial about this.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I quite like the compliment hour.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
She says, I love my compliment hour, Mike. So I
don't think it's returned. I think it's just Jessee, You're
amazing and everything. But do you really think that someone.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Could spend a whole hour on compliment content? So do
you want to hear Luca talk for an hour?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
No? Maybe eight minutes. I could do with an eight
minute like once with fire compliment round. The rule is
they can't be the same compliments as us. They've got
to be creative.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
You'd have to keep the notes up going on your phone,
wouldn't you every time your partner did anything even vaguely
not awful, you have to put it in your phone
so you could just be like the way you wipe
the bench top.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I quite like an on demand compliment. I think that's.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Actually quite nice. So you go, I'm feeling a bit blurt,
tell me something nice about you.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I already do that, And he says, I don't do
compliments on demand, which is why I think that this
kind of written into the skin, because he loves a routine.
He does love a routine exactly like.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
That, and it's being loved loudly. We've been talking about
that a lot lately.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
This is so cramp Unless you're doing my compliment our
in public with other people, so other people can't hear it.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
That's even more cringe, is it.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Well, I don't think so. I think it's quite nice.
So other people know how good of the person I am.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
You're so clever, you're so smart. Oh my god. So
it gets to the hour, a whole hour.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
It's your love language, words of affirmation. Yes, yeah, absolutely,
that's fine. Then you're lad you're coming.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Our acts of service. Mind's gift giving.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Like begger HER's his gift giving.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
He said he has to give her a gift every week,
and I'm like her standards be high, y, I'm just like,
do something for me this week. I've had this sore
foot and so I was in my like I recorded
Monday's show from the shed at the bottom of the garden,
and every time I'd get up to get a cup
of tea whatever, it was like ouch and a pain.
And I was just rage, texting him like you are
not looking after me enough. I'm just a monster. I'm
(30:50):
so sorry, babe anywhere.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Actually that kind of blots into my next ritual. It's
called the rage ritual. So it's a wellness trend that
involves channeling deep anger and suppressed emotions and releasing them
through screaming or physical hitting things. So it starts off
in a meditative state and you have to go deep.
You have to think about everything that makes you angry,
(31:15):
and you have to go from like childhood till present
and then you release it. So it's been recommended on
TikTok that it's best done in a safe manner in
a private space outside where you can use a stick
and safely hit it on the ground. I know what
you're thinking, though, like some of us don't have access
to the outdoors, like myself. But there's intuitive advisor. Her
(31:37):
name is Mia Magic.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
She suggests be a magic on.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
She suggests tell us pushing against a wall while saying
get away from me.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
That is so in a city, imagine my neighbors. It's
very satisfying.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Anyway, you're moving yourself, so I feel like you're taking
the anger back. It's rebounding off the wall and going
back into you. I'm a big fan of screaming into
a pillow.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, or getting in to the car, turning up the
music and just swearing in like a private environment. I
also find finding someone to blame they don't have to
have anything to do with the rage, and sending a
long winded two hundred three hundred word text message about
their character flaws can really help with rage. I was
on the receiving end of this on the weekend. Claire
(32:26):
was raging about something not to do with me. She's
picked up a phone yelled at me for like five minutes.
Luca just looked at me and was like, what was
that about? And I was like, I don't know. She
was just really angry, and it was like trying to
make it all my fault, but I think that it
helped to get it all out.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
You know, there's also you know how a while ago
Amelia recommended on the show laughing yoga. Yeah, because there's
also screaming yoga where you can go and which seems
very much more now than laughing yoga in some ways,
where you can go and do your downward dogging and stuff,
and then you're all just like, yeah, really loudly, what
do you think You just booked yourself into a normal
(33:04):
and you'd just be like, oh, I see very much
how this helps because as a speaking as a repressed person,
I can't help it. On the rare occasions when I
scream and shout it's very rare, it feels fucking great.
It makes me go, oh, this is all those angry
people are always going around yelling. They're not messed up,
(33:26):
they're completely sang wind.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Have you ever gone into a toilet cubicle and just
opened your mouth and go silent screaming the silent scream
even in a shower and you do a silent scream
and you go.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
I also like aggressive sing alongs in the car, like,
you know, put a really angry and just be like
you know, that's why some of those angry songs are
really good. Just scream along with that. And what do
you call those rooms where you can smack things around?
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I've always wanted to go to one of those.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Smashrooms they're called where there's like crockery and things and
you can take a back. Apparently they are really popular
with adolescent boys and middle aged women. Those are the
two categories, the same.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
People who are taking creatine.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
They are also smashing ship unsign heroes, the we didn't
know we need it. Oh my god. This is why
it's tricky the middle.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Do you want to go to a smash room?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Exactly together? I love it. Vibes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual,
something fun. This is my best recommendation.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
It's Friday, so we're gonna set up your weekend with
our best recommendations. And I'm going to go first because
this one I have been desperate to tell you about.
I Reckon. This is top three records of the year. Yeah, yeah,
because I read a series when I was away recently
and I could not wait to come back and tell
(35:09):
you all about them. There is an author named John Boyne,
and he wrote The Boy in the Stripe Pajamas, and
there's a sequel to The Boy in the Stripe Pajamas,
which it is as good, if not better. And he
has written this new series which I kept hearing about.
It is called The Elements, and it is a quartet
of novellas, which that sounds very clever.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Does novella mean tiny book?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yes, it means.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
It's like a novel, but cute. Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
And the thing with I can find novella's a little
bit unsatisfying. Sometimes I just kind of go oh, I
don't really get there. For me, this is a full book.
It's just a little bit shorter. Maybe I barely even noticed.
But each book is a self contained story, but they're interconnected.
So the first one is they're called like Water, Fire,
(35:58):
Earth Wind. I think they are the Elements.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Yes, we watched Avatar, Yes, Captain Punn.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
The first one, Water is about this woman who escapes
to a tiny Irish village and you don't know what
she's escaping from, but she's in like self proclaimed exile,
and it unfolds that her husband is guilty of unimaginable
crimes and it's a question of her culpability what she
has to answer for and then the second one is
about a young footballer. It is from his perspective and
(36:31):
he is on trial because he filmed his footballer mate
having sex with a woman who says it was not consentual,
like that it was rape, and it's from his perspective,
so it's really really interesting. The third one even like,
you know, more incredible. But the way that John Boyne
writes men, women, heroes, villains, all different ages, lifespans is
(36:55):
just He's got to be one of the most masterful
writers writing at the moment. And a lot of the
themes I thought were actually similar to your book Colligue.
That's why when I was away, I was like, Holy
has to read these she will love them. They are
rated so so highly everywhere, reviewed really well, so so good,
and I got through all four while I was away,
like they are brilliant. So they are called the Elements,
(37:17):
but you start with water and then you go on.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
To the did you can ask you a question, did
you read literal books or digital books?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I did it on my kindle and so it told
me what the next one was, and that actually brings
me to my I have a Kindle gripe, which is
it doesn't tell the world what you're reading. And when
I was at the pool, I always look at what
people are reading. It's the best advertising. I often strike
up a conversation and say I love that book or whatever.
(37:47):
I worry about kindles and what they're doing to the
book world.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
You know what they should do the back of your kindle.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
It needs to show the cover. It needs to show
the cover because I want to signal to the world
that I'm reading this brilliant book.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Although sometimes it's good that you don't know, because sometimes
you feel like you should put your book that you're
really loving inside. Anna Karnina, Yes, like something really intelligent,
because you're like, I'm just reading about fairies getting it
on and you are judging me. Not that there's anything
wrong with that, but you're right, Jesse. It is a
missed marketing opportunity. It is.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It makes me sad that I can't see through your
kindle and see what you're reading.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Maybe just every five minutes to yell out the title,
just so people.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Know, Holly, what have you got for it?
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Mine's writing related. Actually, do you listen to music when
you're writing, either of you?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Oily White noise No.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Sometimes I try to get into like Mozart because I
heard that's meant to be good distracting.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
It's interesting because I've always been a silence person, but
lately I've been struggling with focus, like always, like that's
just an ongoing life thing, right, And lots of people
said to me that one of the real advantages to
listening to music when you're writing is it can be
one of those signals that you need to give yourself,
Like you know, I think we're talking about this on
the show a while ago, Like you light a candle,
(39:05):
I'm riding you know my PHONEO, I'm writing, like a
signal that you give yourself. So I was like, that
sounds clever. If I'm going to give myself a forty
minute window to get some words down, the idea that
the music is on and this kind of music is
on and it will stop when you know when it's
done is smart. So I started looking at writing playlists
(39:27):
on Spotify, and there are loads, and there are two
I want to recommend for. And it's just not just
about writing. This is also studying any kind of focus,
deep work, deep work.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Often at work, I've just got to put some headphones
in so I can concentrate so I can do it.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
One of them is called creative writing no words, because
no words is important to me. It's not for everybody.
I know some people who can happily write with lyrics,
but can't.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I can't know lyrics no lyrics and.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Start writing the lyrics well. And also the minute the
lyrics are there, I'm listening to the lyrics. Yes, although
I always explain to my kids that there are two
types of songs. There are story songs, and that's a
nice noise song, and so you could listen to that's
a nice noise song, I guess.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
But anyway, I lyric free.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah, we pass your desk. Creative writing no words in
SPO music by Katie Beth Brierley Boggan really good. But
my favorite is by Zoe Foster Blake, and it is
really irritating that Zoe Foster Blake is so good at
so many things. But her playlists are really good. Her
break up.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Playlist, running playlist, I'm never run.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Kids playlist like. I have a sneaking suspicion that this
must be her procrastination hobby like making playlists, because they're
very good. But her one that's called music for writing
study Flow and Focus is the one I've probably been
using most regularly, and it's really good and it's really long,
so it rarely I just stop and start it as
(40:50):
I need to, and it rarely repeats, which is good
because the thing about sound is sometimes it gets you
in when you're writing and you're like, oh when that song,
When that song was playing, I was having a really
bad time trying to solve this problem. So you kind
of need fresh things all the time, very little lyrics,
a little bit of light lyrics. But I highly recommend
and also out loud As. If you've got recommendations for
(41:12):
excellent focus writing studying playlists, we want to hear them
because I reckon it's game changing. I reckon it's really
helped me.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Oh how about you?
Speaker 1 (41:21):
M okay?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
I wanted to recommend a show on Disney Plus, and
I feel like it's flown quite under the radar because
it is quite basic. And I'm starting off by saying
that because I got a bit of trouble from out
louders after my House of Dyna mite.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Did you like on your recommendation? Did I like it?
I have we need to sit down and.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Discuss everyone's talking about the ending. You don't know spoiler
because I have no spoilers, but a lot of.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Discussion about that, yeah, a lot of Yeah I should
have disclosed that, but I did it and keep got mad.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
But it's time. I loved it. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So I'm starting off with saying, this is a basic recommendation.
It is a show called Chad Powers and it was
created and stars Glenn Powell.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
So it's time to face it. Your football career is over.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
First were the grandest stage in American sports, Kirk and
for Russ Holiday a chance to self the special You
were show voting and you bleue the game.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
They can't get anything.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
That's his insane.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Oh my goodness, Georgia's picked the ball up. Georgia.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
He's gonna win a championship.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
What was Holiday thinking?
Speaker 3 (42:31):
It's time for you to move on.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
There's just one problem dead, I'm not done with football.
I adore Glen Pale. If you haven't read the new
profile of Glen Pealell by Marina Hyde, it's good, Guardian,
go read it. It is genius anyway.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
So he plays It's very much like Ted Lasso, just
in the NFL, in footy in America. So he plays
this big NFL star named Russ Holliday, super egotistical, super Assholey.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
No one likes him.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
He has kind of a bit of a fall from grace,
like something really big happens and everyone's like, oh, you
can't come back from this, and then.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
You feel sorry for himself.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
He really misses football, so he develops this alter ego
and he puts on this prosthetics kind of like she's
the man vibes.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, that's why his nose looks funny on the stairs.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
And he creates his alter ego named Chad Powers and
tries out for the NFL again and gets into another team,
and his Chad Power's personality is so different from his
real personality Russ Holiday and the whole series it's really
really funny, very sporty. And the first season has just finished.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
And when I first started out, I was like, oh,
this is just.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Ted Lasso, but in like a boring way, and it
gets better and better and better, and it's just really funny.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
It's like one day you can watch with the I.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Mean, there's swear words and stuff, but just feels like
very nice, like I haven't watched anything that's just really
like pleasant to watch in all every.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
Streaming service is trying to replicate Ted Lasso.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Yeah, I appreciate that. So it's a series. It's not
a movie. It's a series.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
It's only six episodes in the first season.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
I think I feel like they've made a mistake in
making Glenn Powell ugly in this series, because don't we
watch him because he's not ugly, Not that he's ugly.
That sounds harsh, but you know what I mean, the
deliberately made Powell.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
That's the part you like.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
And that's the thing I like about Glen Powell is
how he looks like Glen Pale.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
I know, but like, this is the first series where
I've watched Glen Pale and I was like, WHOA, you're
a good actor.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Oh, he's a great actor. Didn't realize that a movie.
I didn't realize that from the other one. This is
not going to be helpful because I'm going to forget
the movie. But the movie itself is a bit problematic,
but he is such a good actor, and he plays
this kind of con man and hit man. Yes, it's
got there's some things in that movie that I'm not into,
but he's amazing in it and he's like, it's like
he's trying so hard to be the next Tom Cruise
(44:42):
because Tom Cruise is not endearing because he went to
a school of acting. Yeah, and he has to be
the next Tom Cruise. And he very much like he
calls up all the movie stars and he's like, tell
me how to be. I just think he's great and
he's got a hot source line. This is my perfect man. Okay, yeah, yeah,
I digress. Okay, so it's on Disney Plus Disneywers. It's
really good. But don't take that.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
Don't judge me.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Out louder is a massive thank you for being here
with us with M. Jesse, her twins and I.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
We've got five of us.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Of us, we can't make a thank you to all
our out louders and to our team. Don't forget we're
on YouTube. Tell them about I don't want to objectify anyway.
I just pointed M's tits, but that's because I don't
want to objectify em in any way. But on Monday's show,
it moved me. Yeah, merely A Jesse and I had
(45:39):
a big conversation about something that changed your outfit. Tell me, yes,
I'm going braless for the foreseeable future.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Can I ask what cup size you are? This is important.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I'm a C. It's very private. Why are you asking
that question?
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Because, as we said, a cup girlies have always been
able to go. But I think between a B and
a C is where we have been socialized. Believe we
must put them in brass and I just I really
appreciate that you've got them out today.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Earlier this year was the first time I never really
paid attention to my boobs. Earlier this year was the
first time I looked in the mirror and I was like,
they've changed a little bit, and I was like, I'm
just going to show them off.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yes, yes, yes, just like Sydney Sween.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Yes really helped you. I like that anyway, So if
you're watching on YouTube, you're welcome. Perfect out loud. Before
we go, we do have exciting news. It's something that
all three of us have wanted to do for ages,
and we're all involved.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
This summer, we are finally doing a book club and
it's all thanks to Royal Caribbean who have come on
board to help make it happen.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
We haven't really told everybody about this, have we know
we're going to do a book club where we're going
to pick three books at the start of the summer
that we're all going to read together out louders and
then get together to discuss. Now, it's going to start
at the end of November, so we're giving you lots
of time to at least read the first book. And
we asked out louders what these books should be. You've
(47:05):
given us some great ideas. We have some two The
first one we're doing is not a new book. It's
a recent new classic, though Jesse tell them what it is.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
It is all fours by Miranda July, and amongst ourselves,
we have been talking about how much we've wanted to
do a show on this book because it has it's
been sort of a culture defining moment and a year old.
Now right, yeah, you're a bit older, would you say?
It's about midlife, It's about sex, it's about desire, it's
(47:34):
about motherhood. It is probably one of my topics over
the last year.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
The New York Times called it the first great perimenopausal novel.
And I love the idea of the three of us
from different eras and different ages discussing that like selling
your book for our first book club So if you
haven't read All Fours by Miranda July and you want
to be part of our book club, read it, listen
(48:01):
to it, input it. We're going to have a link
in the show notes for where you can buy Miranda
July's book. And as we drop the other books, because
we're still arguing about one of them, we'll let you
know that too. If you just can't get enough of
our Amelia Lester on out Loud, then we have another
podcast you need to listen to. It's our sister show
called Parenting out Loud, and it's everything parents are secretly
(48:22):
thinking about right now. It drops once a week on
Saturday mornings, and it might be exactly what you need
as you head into another hectic weekend. Amelia talks through
the politics of the school group chat and lays down
some ground rules, and Kira Knightley made one of our
hosts cry with a very relatable take on one of
the hardest parts of parenting you can never actually prepare for.
(48:45):
It's the same vibes you get here just parenting Coded
search Parenting out Loud, Tap follow and thank us later
links in the show notes.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
A big thank you to our team, our group executive
producer Ruth Devine, executive producer sash Art Tanic.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
Our senior audio producer is Leah Porge's, our video producer
is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa
Bye Bye Bye Mama.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which
we've recorded this podcast.
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