September 5, 2025 • 38 mins
Excellent news, friends. We're back with another episode of Parenting Out Loud.
- Father’s Day is tomorrow and there's been a distinct shift in its marketing. Amelia unpacks what’s changed and why.
- Bluey: adorable? Absolutely. But is this the kids' TV show that's also making us feel… bad? Welcome to the Bluey Inadequacy Complex. Monz explains all.
- Plus, ❤️💜 Two emojis, very different vibes. And yes, we all need to know the difference. Welcome to your emoji decoder.
- And, the 'one and done' debate that has Stacey riled.
Plus, our recommendations:
🛏️ Stacey recommends a sleep story.
👩🎨 Amelia has a new play date hack.
📺 Monz has an old fashioned screen test.
Want to make Parenting Out Loud part of your Saturday ritual? OF COURSE YOU DO. To make it official, just tap '+ follow' so you never miss an episode.
Support independent women's media
What To Listen To Next:
- Don't miss an episode of Parenting Out Loud
- The Third Kid Dessert Analogy & FFS, Stop With The Texts
- Dr Becky's DFK Theory & The Great Trampoline Debate
- The Ms Rachel Controversy & The Great Kids Vs Friendships Debate
- A New Co-Parenting Rule & The 100% Work Dilemma
- The Death Of The Dining Table & 'Outdated' Schooling
- Grandparents — It's Time For Your Performance Review
- Connect your subscription to Apple Podcasts
What to read:
- 'Mum, that means ejaculate.' These emojis aren't as innocent as they look.
- You're not imagining it. There's a reason everyone really is sicker this winter.
- Every moment from Bluey that has horrified Americans.
- 'The 'boring' parent is the unsung hero': 5 things Bluey has taught me about parenting.
- 14 dads told us what they actually want for Father's Day.
- 'We've decided we're only having one child... it doesn't stop the comments.'
THE END BITS:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
On Hello and welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast
where if parents are thinking about it, we are talking
about it. I'm Monic Bowley and I am joined by
my gorgeous co host, the delightful Stacey Hicks and big
(00:40):
brain Amelia Lester.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Oh my gosh, I just need to announce that I
ran to the bus this morning in pouring rain, so
I hope I'm giving glowy not sweaty. But if I'm
giving sweaty, I apologize.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
It's giving both and it's great.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
The translation how I can only do so much.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Very dewy. I'm into it. It has been a very
big week in parenting culture. On today's show, there has
been a tiny shift in the marketing of Father's Day
that I need to unpack with you guys. Plus, does
Bluey give you warm feelings or the creeping sense that
you're a bit of a shit parent? Welcome to the
(01:20):
Bluey inadequately complex and at the end of the show,
we're going to tell you all the things we're loving
and we think that you might love too. It's kind
of hot tips and the stuff that we share with
our friends. But first, Stacy, you're the deputy editor of
Mama Maya. You're the big dog. What's been going off
online this week?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yes, second big dog technically, but I'll take big dog
as my title. But a story that really popped off
this week will make you feel very vindicated. If, like me,
despite it officially being spring, you've already achieved the daycare
Bingo card of sicknesses. If you have been completely flattened,
you are not alone. This story was titled You're not
imagining it. There's a reason everyone is sicker. I think
(01:57):
this resonated so much with people because we all know
there's nothing quite like the hell of being sick when
someone else in your house is also sick at the
same time, especially if they're a person you have to
care for. So I think that's why hit the way
it did. But while it's obviously hard to do the
sums on every single sickness, Zoe Rutchford spoke to doctor
Melanie Conroy about the figures that show that there's already
(02:19):
been two hundred and thirty thousand reported cases of the
flu this year that's just the ones where they're reported,
not the heroes that soldier on without it. That is
the same number as what we had for the entire
year in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So it's it's hitting people hard. And she cited a
few possible reasons for the incline. So they include vaccination fatigue,
saying that maybe you know, that's contributed to the fact
that half of Australians haven't gotten their COVID booster and
haven't done their flu shot this year, or it's out.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Of pocket costs.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And it's also another potential reason is there is a
lot more full return to the office now, so a
lot of us are you know, sweaty on the bus
or on the train and.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Sharing the dresses around.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
No, this is really interesting because a it's true. I
just feel like I've been living in sickness for many
months now. I came across an article on the Examine newsletter,
which is a sign newsletter put out by The Herald
and the Age, and it looked at how even though
the federal government recommends the flu shot for kids under
five and it makes it free, the message about the
(03:21):
importance of getting that flu vaccine is just not getting
through to parents, and it looked at some reasons why
that might be. Basically, they did cite that sense of
parents being concerned about viral load, like getting too many
vaccinations and experts say this is not a thing, do
not worry about that. And then they also thought that
maybe it was a post pandemic effect, whereby during COVID
(03:44):
parents wanted to do anything they could to protect their children,
and before the COVID vaccine that was essentially the flu vaccine.
But now we've all kind of forgotten about flu when
we really shouldn't be. I don't mean to alarm anyone,
but a startling fact from this newsletter is that the
hospitalization rate for kids under five of the flu actually
exceeds that of sixty five plus adults. It's a dangerous
(04:07):
illness and we are just not taking the steps we
need to.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Okay, so confession, I did not have a flu jub
this year, and I'll tell you why. It's because I
quit my job. So when you work in a place,
they often run a flu JAB program, right, which makes
it really easy. Because I think there's two barriers to
getting the flu JAB that immediately spring to mind. First
is cost and second is access right. And so when
(04:31):
you're in a workplace, often they take those two things
out of the equation. They make it free, and they
bring someone in to do it for you, so you
do it while you're at work. So the question I've
got is why don't they run flu jobs at schools?
Like there is a national immunization program that rolls out
some vaccinations, but why don't they just add.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Flu to that? I wonder if that would be actually
quite controversial because another interesting stat is that the nationwide
percentage of children who get all vaccines on average is
ninety percent, but less than fifty percent of children get
the flu vaccine. There's something about the flu vaccine where
I think parents are thinking that it's like optional or
(05:08):
that it's not important, and that's leading to this decline
in rates.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Mellly, you mentioned that, like the messaging isn't ubiquitous around
flu season? Do public health need to spend more money
on social media marketing to get the messages into our feeds?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I feel like that is how we are all consuming
news and information now, does it just need to be
more like spend less on ads, spend more in social media?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Well, and I also think that specifically, what the campaign
should say is this fact that for children under five
this is resulting in more hospitalizations than for older adults,
because I think we all have this hangover feeling of
like it's something that affects older adults and we're kind
of getting it as an act of benevolence for the oldies.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
But that's not the case.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Cool, So what else we're parents clicking on this week's stacy?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Another story that went gangbusters was called are you ready
for It?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Mum?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
That means ejaculate. The emojis aren't as innocent as they look,
and it was basically a glossary we published essentially decoding
what all the emojis mean that you can figure out
which ones you're using wrong for your genel for children,
and if you want to snoop in their phone, you'll
be able to code what they're saying to one another
if you're so inclined. So generally we know the ones
(06:21):
like the eggplant meaning dick dick.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I was gonna go with Willie for some.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Reasons to use silly names.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yes, so the eggplant is penis. There are so many more,
so Mon's and Emilia. I'm going to do a little
quiz with you to see if you're down with the
kids and see if you're using these correctly. Okay, first one,
what do you think the red heart means love?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Love?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Yeah, truck question, the red heart is love. You're safe. Okay,
you can use your red heart.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So you haven't recovered from the fact that you're not
meant to use the laughing crying one, because apparently that
pegs me as an elder Millennius.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
We're so uncall using that. It's fine. We're meant to
use the.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Skull anyway, Yeah, meant to say you're like dying laughing.
We're meant to use the skull anyway. Let's stick without
crying laughing.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
But the next one, this shocks me because this is
my default emoji. This is my top used emoji. So
I am sending a very confused message.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
The purple heart friendship.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Oh god, is this the ejaculate one?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
No, but close it means you're aroused, Oh, arousal. That's
the purple heart, and I've been sending that to all
my coworkers.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
It actually it actually means the word beginning with H,
doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Yeah, horny, horny, purple heart segment.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay, now the corn cob like, what could that possibly mean?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
So innocent?
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It means cringe. It's so corny, so cringe.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
No, well, it's code for porn. So they use this
a lot on TikTok as code for porn because it
rhymes with corn. Okay, very simple. Now, this one genuinely
shocked a lot of us. The little brain emoji thinking emoji,
the little brain.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Nerd like, what a nerd? Oh, my god, such a nerd?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Sixty nine Amelia's pretty close, really close. It is code
for head.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
We never talked about such things when I was a child.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I know, we were just such innocent little beings. And
the last one I had was the bolonnaise the spaghetti
noodles with the fork.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I'm hungry for.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Mind boggles, some to pray sex.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I know, nudes, send nudes. Noodles noodles send nudes.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
So there you go, your education.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
So have you actually managed to get yourself out of
the habit of using the purple heart at work?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Because I'm embarrassed for you.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
No, I'm still sending it, but I just avoid sending
it to the gen Z's because that feels more risky,
so ejaculate.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
We need to get water, the splashy war es.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Mon's ding ding ding. That's right, it's the splashy water
yeap that is ejaculate.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
So now you know what to avoid. The rest of
the list will be in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Okay, into the main stuff for this week. So the
first topic we want to kind of hook into an
unpack is about Father's Now, Father's Day is Sunday, and
the marketing for it is in full swing. My letterbox
is full of Bunning's catalogs and Ratco sheds and like
Dan Murphy's catalogs. But I got an email this week
from a major brand asking something that I've never seen before.
(09:26):
It asked if I wanted to opt out of Father's
Day marketing. And the email said, we understand that Father's
Day is a sensitive time for many. If you'd prefer
not to receive any Father's Day related emails, you can
opt out by clicking the button below. And it got
me thinking because I think in the last maybe six
or seven years, we've seen this cultural shift around Mother's Day,
(09:50):
like whereas a decade ago it was kind of wall
to wall like World's Best Mom sort of marketing, Whereas
now it's understood that not everyone's experience of motherhood and
not everyone's relationship with their mom is like a Hallmark card.
There is sort of grief and estrangement and it can
be complicated. So brands and people are a little bit
(10:10):
more delicate now around how they talk about Mother's Day.
But this is the first time I've seen this same
treatment applied to Father's Day, so I wanted to check
in with you, guys. Where are we at with Father's
Day this year?
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Stacy?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
What do you think it all means?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
I think it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I definitely think it is a step towards recognizing the
sensitivities around it for some people on the more serious
side of it, because I think we never really consider
the fathers or the men out there who might be
receiving these emails and are desperate to become a dad,
but are also struggling with infertility or their partner having
pregnancy loss. So I think on that side of things,
it's really lovely that there is that sensitivity there for
(10:47):
people who maybe don't have the best relationship or are
longing to be fathers and aren't at this point in
their lives. But on the more cynical side of this,
I just think people might use this opt out situation
to get rid of the emails because they never buy
their dad are present. Like every year my dad tells
me he doesn't want a present. Every year, I believe him.
I just take him for a drink, which he usually
(11:08):
ends up paying for.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
And that's that. Like Father's Day is just not thought
about as much as Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And I'm going to get even more cynical on you,
and I want to step back and ask you both
how you feel about those emails for Mother's Day or
Father's Day, the ones that say, you know, let us
know if you have a complicated relationship with your mother.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Because why am I telling.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
The brand that it's sort of the brand pretending to
be sensitive and concerned about my feelings, but they're also
harvesting my data. Why am I telling them about my
complicated family dynamics? Probably so that they can sell me
more stuff? Or am I being cynical? Do we think
that these are helpful?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
No, that was my second thought. My first thought was oh,
how interesting. My second thought was, oh, this is another
data point for you to fill your algorithm. And also
it also feels like savvy marketing dressed up as empathy.
So I do see that. I'm also interested in why
there was a lag for this to hit the dad's content,
and I wonder if it's because My theory is like
(12:06):
dads seem to carry like less emotional weight in the culture.
Like you think about the way dads are depicted in
pop culture and it's like feel done fee from modern
family or like Daddy Pig, just like well meaning but
quite bumbling dads. So I think fatherhood feels less emotionally loaded,
like in the public's imagination. So I think there's been
(12:27):
less pressure on brands to handle Father's Day carefully until now.
I think this is a kind of an interesting shift here.
It's like, are we finally starting to see dads differently?
And if that's the case, like Father's Day might start
to look really different in future. So I hear your cynicism.
I don't disagree with it. I think you're right about that.
I'm just holding out hope that the dial is kind
(12:48):
of shifting here.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
No, that's really interesting, Mon's I hadn't thought about that,
but now that you mentioned, say, Daddy Pig from Pepper Pig,
there's this iconic song from Pepper Pig where they sing
He's a bit of an expert about Daddy Pig, And
the idea is that he pretends that he's an expert
in all sorts of things, but actually he's pretty useless
at most things. And that really is a sort of
(13:10):
trope that we have around dads. There's another trope that
I think this is kind of reversing too, and it
relates to what you said, Stacy, for people who long
to be dads. Yeah, I'm wondering how big that group is.
I don't want to stereotype, but certainly the pressures that
are on women to pro create are so much more
intense and explicit. But are we now getting to the
(13:34):
point where men too are getting these pressures that they
need to sort of perform adulthood and have babies.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yeah, it just feels like maybe we're putting that onto
people a little bit like that, it's getting to that
extreme point where we're being sensitive about every possible thing,
when really you can choose to turn away from that
if you want. So, does it work for you like Mom's,
doesn't make you think more of a brand that they're
doing this, or does it make you think they are
being a bit manipulative.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
No, I'm cynical about it, but I do think that
sometimes like brands respond to cultural touch points, brands respond
to the cultural temperature, and so I think it's an
interesting signifier.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Now here's something which I've been hanging to talk about
this week. Hamma, barn, dollar bucks, wackadoo. If you recognize
those sounds I just made as actual words, then congratulations.
You are one of the millions of people who is
watching what is considered Australia's most successful show ever. Bluey So,
the animated series by Joe Brahm about the Healer dog family,
(14:36):
is now in sixty countries and was viewed for fifty
five point six billion minutes last year. Most of those
came from my household alone, and if you're like me,
you still can't get through a few of the episodes
Baby Race, Granddad Camping without crying. Such is the power
of these animated dogs. As far as it goes with
(14:56):
screen time, it's widely considered to be one of the
better shows for our kids. So a new article from
the Conversation talked about how researchers watched one hundred and
fifty episodes of Bluey, which I feel like is every
episode of Bluey. Surely they found that she Blue being
a girl, just in case you weren't clear. I know
MEA Friedman only found out about a month ago that
(15:17):
Blue is teaching kids' resilience in the face of life's
ups and downs. Apparently it's the first time the show's
been systematically examined like this to see how it's teaching
resilient behavior, and nearly half of the episodes have that
as the primary or the secondary theme. So, Amelia, are
you as in love with Blue as I am?
Speaker 4 (15:38):
I love that you brought this up.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
I have really complicated feelings that I'm looking forward to
unpacking with you both. I should say that when I
moved back to Australia from the United States last year,
the only thing anyone said to me about the move
was is it going to be like Bluey there? I
cannot overstate the way that Blue has shaped international perceptions
(16:01):
of Australia and of the life of children in Australia.
They think that it's like Bluie, and look, I was
kind of curious about whether it would be like blue
as well, and to some extent it really is. I
think it captures something that's still very present in an
Australian childhood that is gone from at least American childhoods,
which is it feels more carefree, it feels more safe,
(16:23):
it feels more harmonious. So I'd say that it's a
really nice depiction of Australian childhood.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Oh you know what, you two, this show does not
need any more fans. I can hear you both, Joe
loving it sick. We know it's the best show on TV.
Blah blah blah. Joe Brahm's a genius. It's gorgeous. What's
interesting is the unpopular opinion, the undercurrent of I can't
(16:52):
watch this. It's making me feel like a shit parent.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Okay, I'm glad that you brought that up, because this
is where the complicated feelings come in. I got a
text from a friend the other day. She has three children.
I think of her as an amazing parent. For the record,
she wrote me a text pretty much out of the blue.
She said, I'm the bearer of some reassurance about parenting.
I was noodling around and found some conversation about how
(17:16):
parents who watch Bluey with their kids are talking to
each other and their shrinks about how the show makes
them feel like detached, inattentive parents who do not play
enough with their kids. And I thought, well, if she's
feeling like that, To be honest, I'm feeling a bit
like that too.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Yeah. It feels unpopular to say it, but there is
this big swell, this groundswell of parents talking to their
therapist saying this show makes me feel so shit, And
I think that's really interesting to unpack. I saw a
great article on substack. Jess Commons wrote it. She's a journalist,
She's got a substack called mother Loading, and she wrote
about it as well earlier this year and said, how
(17:54):
dare these cartoon dogs with seemingly no financial troubles and
endless amounts of time show me up? There is no
way I can be as engaged, as invested, as imaginative
as them, and it makes me feel shitty. And there's
also there was this hilarious piece in The New Yorker
by Ellis Rosen called Blue's Dad thinks He's so great
(18:18):
and it starts like this, it goes, well, there is again,
mister perfect dad, the best father ever to grace the
television screen. That's what everyone says anyway, including my wife
and children, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I
definitely didn't mind when my daughter asked me to pretend
to be Bluey's dad, even though she wasn't pretending to
(18:39):
be blue Like, the struggle is real. There are parents
out there who feel kind of insecure. This show brings
up a lot of feelings of like guilt and rejection
and fear and maybe defense. And I think that this
show very quietly exposes the gap between the parent that
we are and the parent we wish we were, and
(19:02):
that's confronting.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah, let's call it the Bluey backlash. I've started seeing
it everywhere since I got that text. I found an
article on Good Housekeeping that said Louie is fun to watch,
but it makes parents feel like crap. And I've got
an example of how it makes me feel like crap.
There's an episode called Stickbird, which I think about a lot,
and in that episode, Blue's dad Bandit is really upset
about something and yet he still has to play with Bluie.
(19:27):
They're at the beach, and what's very intriguing about this
episode is that he tells Bluie that he's a bit
upset about something, and in fact, mental health advocacy groups
have praised this episode for reminding men to talk about
their emotions. So great, let's make sure that Blue gets
that recognition. But what's interesting is that he manages to
hold it in having expressed that sadness, and he doesn't
(19:50):
tell Bluie why he's sad. And I think about that,
because that's a really high bar if you're really sad
or upset about something and your parenting to just merely
say I'm upset about something. It has nothing to do
with you. Let's move on and keep playing a game
that's really hard to do. I find myself wanting to
share with my children why I'm sad. Now, maybe that's
(20:10):
a boundary that I shouldn't be crossing. But every time
I do experience, you know, a difficult chapter, I think
about Stickford and how band It doesn't say why he's sad,
and it just feels like an impossible bar.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
The whole show is an impossible bar. Amelia the Whole Show,
like Bandit and Chili, are endlessly patient and playful and
available and navigating like complex emotional issues. They're never hiding
in the pantry scrolling their phone or like giving their
kids the finger behind their back. And even though it's fiction, like,
(20:45):
our brains are still comparing and what we see, yeah,
can make us uncomfortable with how we're doing things. And
I think this show, like you said, it models a
lot of amazing parenting, and so it has become in
the zeitgeist, like the default for great parenting is to
be like Bluie's parents. You know, they model this very slow,
(21:05):
very responsive, very playful parenting. But for most of us
who juggling work and fatigue and commutes and craziest schedules,
like we're tired and we're distracted, and it just feels
quite unattainable.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
And I think there are episodes where you see the
mum and the dad on their phone, but the second
the child enters the room, the phone gets put away.
And I don't know that all of us can say
that that happens immediately when it's us one of the
positives because I love to make myself feel bad. So
now that you've said it, I'm definitely thinking about it
more and thinking about all the times I've gone, oh, yeah,
I probably should be doing that, just like Chilli heeler is,
(21:41):
but I think one of the ways that it's helped
if you're not a parent that finds play naturally comes
to them when your kids are at that age. Imaginative
play I find especially embarrassing. Don't know why, but I've
found that Bluey is kind of a connector to some
games or some activities that I can do with my
daughter that she recognizes from the show, that I recognize
(22:02):
from the show, and then it feels like it's a
level playing field that we're doing what the Healer family did.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
There are some positives, so it is useful anytime a
balloon to play keep you uppy. Let's face that I
wanted to get though. Why we think it's kind of
like pushing our button. I have a theory for why
this is. I think it's because it's depicting parents spending
a lot of one on one time with their children,
giving them a lot of attention, and we feel like
(22:28):
we're not doing enough of that. But I've got a
really reassuring newsflash for you, which is that we are
actually spending so much more time with our children than
previous generations. I found an Economist article from twenty seventeen,
so pre pandemic, which said that parents are now spending
twice as much time with their children than they did
fifty years ago. So don't feel bad. We're already spending
(22:49):
so much more time with them. And it turns out
even men are too, So men are still spending less
time with their children than women are, but the amount
of time has jumped sixteen minutes a day over the
last decade to fifty nine minutes a day. Fifty nine minutes.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
I feel like I'm probably.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Spending around fifty nine minutes a day with my children,
and that's average, and I loved that. One exception to
this trend France. In France, people are still sipping their
wine and ignoring their remarkably well behaved children. That's what
the studies show, So don't feel bad. Australians are spending
plenty of time with their children, and Bluis is accurately
depicting that.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I feel like I've been too hard on Louis. I
do think it is the most beautiful show, the most
well made show on TV right now, and it deserves
all of its sissess and it should infiltrate France and
teach the French engage playful parenting familiar if I am
a parent and I watch this and I feel the
defense mechanism coming up, and I start to feel the
feelings of in us guilty? What are therapists telling parents?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Yeah, so this friend who texted me saying that she
feels bad actually asked around, and she asked an expert
who was a therapist, why she shouldn't feel bad about it.
And this therapist said, each episode shows eight minutes of
their day. Anyone can pareent enthusiastically for eight minutes a day.
For all we know, Bandit spends four hours each day
(24:10):
on the care watching the footy and drinking, and that
does actually make me feel better.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
We can do eight minutes. We can do eight minutes.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Bend needs to go to work, Guys, bend It actually
needs to go and do some work. Like, how are
they affording the three bedroom house in the cul de
sac Stacy?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Yes, Mons, you know you're.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Like, we're getting to know each other. We don't really
know each other that well. Yeah, I deep dived on you.
I googled your name and I started reading your work.
Turns out used to be the editor of Girlfriend magazine.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Yes, that was my dream job. It was so great.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Apart from being here, of course, that's very cool. But
the other thing that worried me was I think I've
said some things to you that I wish I could
take back now, So I'm just confessing my sins to you.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I described you as a mother of one and I
may have at some point in our conversations said to you,
are you one and done? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
I'm so glad you raise this mons because I feel
like I've made the same faux pat with Stacy. I
was allerted to this because there was an article on
folk dot com by Liz Hammond recently, and she makes
the plea that we stop using that phrase one and
done to describe families with one child. I didn't even
know that I shouldn't be using it. Let me explain
(25:20):
why she said we shouldn't be using it. She has
one five year old son, she's pretty sure she doesn't
want more children, and she says that one and done
fails to capture the complexity of raising a child today
because her responsibilities as a parent are not done after
giving birth. Stacy, are we doing it all wrong? And
why do you have a problem with one and done?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Well, you can both stop panicking.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
It's okay because I have referred to myself as one
and done until I read this article as well, so
it's absolutely fine.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
At least to me. It hasn't bothered me.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
But I must admit that that Vogue article did make
me rethink the term, because I thought it was really
interesting that she argued that when you say you're one
and done, it makes it sound like, you know, you
popped out a kid.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
You've done the hard part.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
And now it's just going to be easy, and it's
so much easier than listen not to, is it not?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
It's so not.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I I was on another podcast called The Kids or
Trial Free Podcasts, and Kelty, the host asked me this
question as well, because she said a lot of people
who are considering whether to have children at all often
will say, well, I'll just have one, as if it's
a middle ground. And she said, what is your take.
Do you feel like having one is closer to having
(26:30):
two or closer to having none? And I said, it
is so much closer to having two than to having none,
Like my life is unrecognizable from before having my child.
And so I think there's this understanding that it's like
parenting light. You know that you just got the easy
way out of doing it, but you're still getting all
(26:51):
the emotions and all the stress and all the herd
outside your body and stressing about whether your child will
turn out okay. And then you're layering on all these
assumptions that people have about only children, that they might
be selfish, or they might be weird, or they won't
know how to share with other people. There's so many
things that people kind of put on you.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Well, you said in your article called for Mamma Mia
that you get these comments from.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Yeah to your face, Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And I think, just as a PSA for people who
want to say that, I know it's probably out of
genuine curiosity, but people with one kid are thinking about
it a lot like that is something that plays on
your mind A ton is are you doing the wrong thing?
But I think your reason for having a second can't
be out of service to your child. I think now
women can and all couples can be thinking about what
(27:38):
is best for them as a parent and what will
mean that they can give their child the best life,
whether that's for financial reasons, whether that's for mental health reasons,
whether it's just that you don't feel the strong urge.
Any of those are enough, I think, and so we
probably can stop calling it that.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Stacy. This article that you wrote, and we will link
to it in the show notes because I want everyone
to read it. I think everyone should read it, no
matter how many kids you have. It was beautiful, it
was smart. It's important because language is everything. And what
you highlighted in that article is how many times people
will come to you and weigh in on your reproductive choices.
(28:17):
When are you having a second? Are you going to
give them a sibling? And it just feels so I
know it's well intentioned, but it does kind of feel
very dated to weigh in on someone else's choice of family.
It's like we don't say any more like oh, the
clock's ticking, and we don't say like when are you
going to start a family? Because families come in all
(28:39):
shapes and sizes, So we've mostly retired those phrases because
it feels like, you know, they were never okay in
the first place. I do feel like the questions around
are you having another when are you having another one?
Are you going to give them a sister or brother?
They need to be retired, they should be in the
same bucket.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah, definitely. And I think, like I would consider myself
a pretty agreeable person. I know Amelia said yesterday she
can't imagine me being bothered by anything, like I think
I come across and as there was one thing that
bothered you, the people say, and there is one thing
that bothers me, And it's when people say, when are
you having another? Not are you thinking about having another?
Because I understand the genuine curiosity, too's the norm, So
(29:18):
I understand people assuming that if you've had one, you
probably do want to. So I love talking about it
to people, but it's the when that really annoys me
because I think it undermines what people go through to
even have a child in the first place, and what
I went through to have my child in the first place.
For many people, it's not a choice, and having one
(29:38):
might not be what they want. For me, it is,
but for some people that's just how their family dynamic
pans out. So I think there's that, and it also
layers the expectation on women that we're somehow selfish or
prioritizing our own lives too much.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Stacy, you just said it in your own answer. Then
you just said two is the norm, and that's the
kind of thinking that we need to stop. Yeah, that's
the retoric. That's not helpful. It's not the norm. There
is no norm. Families are all shaped, sizes, amount of people,
there is no normal.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Also, people are having fewer children. It's becoming the norm.
You quoted this in the article. But the Australian Bureau
Statistics has new numbers on this and Australian families are
going to have an average of one point six babies
over the next two years. That's down from two point three.
So this is the new norm.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
And I think only just have a pr problem really
because it all stems from research that happened in the
eighteen hundreds around that only children were a disease was
what they were called. And so I like, very selfishly
for my wanting my own reassurance, I interviewed an expert
who's done a lot of research on only children because
she has one child as well, doctor Razina McAlpine. So
(30:50):
she's got a master's in higher education, done so much
research in this area, and research she found showed that
only borns generally do equally as well as first borns
and children in two child families, and they surpassed children
from larger families across all of the measures of academic achievement, intelligence, sociability, character,
and child parent relationship.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
So all the myths around they will grow up lonely,
they don't hold up.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
No, they don't hold up. They have the same outcomes
as children into child households. Thank God for me.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Okay, to wrap up today's show, my favorite bit. We
share the things that we are loving, sick, the things
that we might text to our friends, put in the
mum group chat, whatever it is. It's recommendations, Stacy, what
do you got so mine?
Speaker 4 (31:37):
This week?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Is a sleep story that doesn't make me want to
fall asleep, although I have fallen asleep in my daughter's
bed a lot of times.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Hang on, that's the point. Don't you want them to
be sleepy?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I want them to be sleepy. I don't want to
be listening to it being tortured by the sound. And
there are a few that genuinely are so painful to
listen to, even for a couple of minutes. But on
Spotify it's free. This series called Calm Kids Bedtime Stories,
and there's one called Hector's Exploding Head, which my daughter
and I really love. So it's about a kid who
(32:08):
forgets his mum's birthday and forgets his homework and just
generally hopeless, like all kids around that age can be
with that stuff, and then someone visits the school that
teaches them about breathing to calm themselves down and keep
their head connected to.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Their neck basically so their head doesn't explode. I just
love listening to it.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
I've probably listened to it a hundred times and I'm
not sick of it yet. My daughter's probably half listened
to it about one hundred times because thankfully she dozes off.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
So that's my recommendation called Hector's Exploding Hector's.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Exploding Head, and it's just fun to say.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Well, I wanted to talk about playdate anxiety because I
know I should be hosting playdates, but I hosted one
a couple of years ago that i'm still recovering from.
Thought the kids were playing so nicely together because we
didn't hear from them, and then basically walked into the
room they were playing in and it seriously looked like
the Rolling Stones had been there for seven days having
(33:01):
a party because everything was everywhere, and it just really
triggered my anxiety. I can't deal with stress or mess,
particularly living in a two bedroom of it really gets
to me.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Isn't that the fun of the playdate?
Speaker 3 (33:14):
No, it's not the fun of the play date. Months
I can tell that we're different people. So I needed
to find something to have the children do that did
not result in mess. And I went to a playdate
at someone else's place on the weekend and she had
the most brilliant idea which I'm going to steal, which
is that the girls decorated water bottles together. And I
(33:35):
love this because it's not just like more useless plastic.
It's actually something they need. As we know, water bottles
disappear to the great water bottle black hole in the
sky and you don't know why or where. With the
socks with the one sock, not both socks, just one sock.
And so now she has a water bottle that she's
very proud of. The girls spent a good hour decorating
(33:56):
the water bottles together, and I just thought it was
a brilliant, very tidy activity for a playdate. And I
will unpack my neurosies about mess at a later time,
perhaps not on a podcast. Anyway, these water bottles, you
can get the kits that came. They're about thirty dollars each.
And I'm going to try that out myself next time
I host a play date. Next time I summon the
(34:17):
courage to host a play date.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Okay, So it wasn't like build your own like the
mom didn't gather all the separate bits and do it.
It's already done for us.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Oh gosh, no, no, yeah, it was a kit with
stickers and righty things, and yeah it was great.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Okay, team, I have the ultimate test of grit for
your kids. You know, we're always looking of ways to
increase resilience in our children. I've got a screen endurance
test that's going to break them.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Sounds fine.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
You sit down to watch a movie with them. You
select Disney, then choose Mary Poppins. Say nothing, and what
will happen next will determine your kid's level of resilience
because the intro Mary Poppins is lacially slow. There's three
(35:06):
minutes and six seconds before anything happens on the screens,
just text and very slow Edwardian sort of music. I
aged thirty years before Mary flies out. Of the fucking sky.
I swear to god, it's so sore. My kids could
not handle it, and I was loving it. I just
said nothing, and they were like, mom, mom, working themselves
(35:29):
into the biggest lather. Why is nothing happening? What are
these words on the screen. I loved it for them.
I think it's the ultimate endurance test for the screen generation.
I highly recommend it.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
That is deranged and I love it. I want to
add a further deranged recommendation for that movie, which is
I find the lead actor very attractive. I enjoyed watching it.
He's very attractive.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Dick Vandyke was back in the ninety nine and he's
dancing and he's still living a great life.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
And I just love Dick Van Dyke.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
No is he the one that could start with the
harmonica and no.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Chimney sweet mons. I guess I'm purple heart for Dick
van dye. Yeah, I think you are.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I think what's refreshing about Dick Van Dyke is his
bad teeth, Like how you never see bad teeth on
screens anymore? And I saw his teeth and I was like, Oh,
that's so nice that someone doesn't have a year.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
That is so cruel and such a bad kind of
compliment to a screen merchend.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I'm not into him. I am into mister Banks how
he walks in at the start, He's like, my home
is run like a thing. Like he's just so like
precise about everything. I love that for him.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
So what we're saying basically, there's like two male fox
leads to choose between.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yeah, the moms pick your poison and torture your kids.
It sounds great.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
All right, that's all we have time for on Parenting
out Loud today. Thanks for hanging out.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I want to shout out to the out louders who
said we should make this show a real thing, Like
you're the reason where he's doing this, so thank you
for getting around it. Mainly Amelia, it's people want you Amelia,
so Stacy and I.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
I'm choosing don't ever use the brain oji when talking
about me.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Special mentions to Sally who said parenting podcasts of boring,
except this one's great.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
We love you, Sally.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Sophie said anything with Amelia, I'm tuning in.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
There's a lot of that, Sophie. I'm offended.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
I know, I know, we're just the hangers on. And Myth,
who said I don't even have kids and I never
miss an episode, put that on the billboard and then
she put a purple heart emoji. Eh, Myth, we're horny
for you two if you'd loved this episode. The best
way to help us in these really early days is
(37:48):
just to do one thing. It's search for Parenting out
Loud in your podcast app, find the show, and then
hit follow. So it's free to do it. But it's
like the Instagram algorithm, kind of equivalent of a love heart,
where if you do it, it pushes the show in
the algorithm, Like the algorithm goes, oh, like shit, there's
all these people that are liking this one, so it
(38:09):
surfaces it to more all so more people see it
and are like, oh, what's this? Oh merely a lester?
Yes please, you can't dyke discussion so topical. But if
all that sounds too hard, that's fine, no pressure. Just
come back next Saturday and hang out again. It's been great,
so have a great week and we'll talk to you then.
By bye.
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
On Hello and welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast
where if parents are thinking about it, we are talking
about it. I'm Monic Bowley and I am joined by
my gorgeous co host, the delightful Stacey Hicks and big
(00:40):
brain Amelia Lester.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Oh my gosh, I just need to announce that I
ran to the bus this morning in pouring rain, so
I hope I'm giving glowy not sweaty. But if I'm
giving sweaty, I apologize.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
It's giving both and it's great.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
The translation how I can only do so much.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Very dewy. I'm into it. It has been a very
big week in parenting culture. On today's show, there has
been a tiny shift in the marketing of Father's Day
that I need to unpack with you guys. Plus, does
Bluey give you warm feelings or the creeping sense that
you're a bit of a shit parent? Welcome to the
(01:20):
Bluey inadequately complex and at the end of the show,
we're going to tell you all the things we're loving
and we think that you might love too. It's kind
of hot tips and the stuff that we share with
our friends. But first, Stacy, you're the deputy editor of
Mama Maya. You're the big dog. What's been going off
online this week?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yes, second big dog technically, but I'll take big dog
as my title. But a story that really popped off
this week will make you feel very vindicated. If, like me,
despite it officially being spring, you've already achieved the daycare
Bingo card of sicknesses. If you have been completely flattened,
you are not alone. This story was titled You're not
imagining it. There's a reason everyone is sicker. I think
(01:57):
this resonated so much with people because we all know
there's nothing quite like the hell of being sick when
someone else in your house is also sick at the
same time, especially if they're a person you have to
care for. So I think that's why hit the way
it did. But while it's obviously hard to do the
sums on every single sickness, Zoe Rutchford spoke to doctor
Melanie Conroy about the figures that show that there's already
(02:19):
been two hundred and thirty thousand reported cases of the
flu this year that's just the ones where they're reported,
not the heroes that soldier on without it. That is
the same number as what we had for the entire
year in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So it's it's hitting people hard. And she cited a
few possible reasons for the incline. So they include vaccination fatigue,
saying that maybe you know, that's contributed to the fact
that half of Australians haven't gotten their COVID booster and
haven't done their flu shot this year, or it's out.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Of pocket costs.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And it's also another potential reason is there is a
lot more full return to the office now, so a
lot of us are you know, sweaty on the bus
or on the train and.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Sharing the dresses around.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
No, this is really interesting because a it's true. I
just feel like I've been living in sickness for many
months now. I came across an article on the Examine newsletter,
which is a sign newsletter put out by The Herald
and the Age, and it looked at how even though
the federal government recommends the flu shot for kids under
five and it makes it free, the message about the
(03:21):
importance of getting that flu vaccine is just not getting
through to parents, and it looked at some reasons why
that might be. Basically, they did cite that sense of
parents being concerned about viral load, like getting too many
vaccinations and experts say this is not a thing, do
not worry about that. And then they also thought that
maybe it was a post pandemic effect, whereby during COVID
(03:44):
parents wanted to do anything they could to protect their children,
and before the COVID vaccine that was essentially the flu vaccine.
But now we've all kind of forgotten about flu when
we really shouldn't be. I don't mean to alarm anyone,
but a startling fact from this newsletter is that the
hospitalization rate for kids under five of the flu actually
exceeds that of sixty five plus adults. It's a dangerous
(04:07):
illness and we are just not taking the steps we
need to.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Okay, so confession, I did not have a flu jub
this year, and I'll tell you why. It's because I
quit my job. So when you work in a place,
they often run a flu JAB program, right, which makes
it really easy. Because I think there's two barriers to
getting the flu JAB that immediately spring to mind. First
is cost and second is access right. And so when
(04:31):
you're in a workplace, often they take those two things
out of the equation. They make it free, and they
bring someone in to do it for you, so you
do it while you're at work. So the question I've
got is why don't they run flu jobs at schools?
Like there is a national immunization program that rolls out
some vaccinations, but why don't they just add.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Flu to that? I wonder if that would be actually
quite controversial because another interesting stat is that the nationwide
percentage of children who get all vaccines on average is
ninety percent, but less than fifty percent of children get
the flu vaccine. There's something about the flu vaccine where
I think parents are thinking that it's like optional or
(05:08):
that it's not important, and that's leading to this decline
in rates.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Mellly, you mentioned that, like the messaging isn't ubiquitous around
flu season? Do public health need to spend more money
on social media marketing to get the messages into our feeds?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I feel like that is how we are all consuming
news and information now, does it just need to be
more like spend less on ads, spend more in social media?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Well, and I also think that specifically, what the campaign
should say is this fact that for children under five
this is resulting in more hospitalizations than for older adults,
because I think we all have this hangover feeling of
like it's something that affects older adults and we're kind
of getting it as an act of benevolence for the oldies.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
But that's not the case.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Cool, So what else we're parents clicking on this week's stacy?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Another story that went gangbusters was called are you ready
for It?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Mum?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
That means ejaculate. The emojis aren't as innocent as they look,
and it was basically a glossary we published essentially decoding
what all the emojis mean that you can figure out
which ones you're using wrong for your genel for children,
and if you want to snoop in their phone, you'll
be able to code what they're saying to one another
if you're so inclined. So generally we know the ones
(06:21):
like the eggplant meaning dick dick.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I was gonna go with Willie for some.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Reasons to use silly names.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yes, so the eggplant is penis. There are so many more,
so Mon's and Emilia. I'm going to do a little
quiz with you to see if you're down with the
kids and see if you're using these correctly. Okay, first one,
what do you think the red heart means love?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Love?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Yeah, truck question, the red heart is love. You're safe. Okay,
you can use your red heart.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So you haven't recovered from the fact that you're not
meant to use the laughing crying one, because apparently that
pegs me as an elder Millennius.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
We're so uncall using that. It's fine. We're meant to
use the.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Skull anyway, Yeah, meant to say you're like dying laughing.
We're meant to use the skull anyway. Let's stick without
crying laughing.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
But the next one, this shocks me because this is
my default emoji. This is my top used emoji. So
I am sending a very confused message.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
The purple heart friendship.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Oh god, is this the ejaculate one?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
No, but close it means you're aroused, Oh, arousal. That's
the purple heart, and I've been sending that to all
my coworkers.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
It actually it actually means the word beginning with H,
doesn't it.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Yeah, horny, horny, purple heart segment.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay, now the corn cob like, what could that possibly mean?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
So innocent?
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It means cringe. It's so corny, so cringe.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
No, well, it's code for porn. So they use this
a lot on TikTok as code for porn because it
rhymes with corn. Okay, very simple. Now, this one genuinely
shocked a lot of us. The little brain emoji thinking emoji,
the little brain.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Nerd like, what a nerd? Oh, my god, such a nerd?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Sixty nine Amelia's pretty close, really close. It is code
for head.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
We never talked about such things when I was a child.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I know, we were just such innocent little beings. And
the last one I had was the bolonnaise the spaghetti
noodles with the fork.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I'm hungry for.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Mind boggles, some to pray sex.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I know, nudes, send nudes. Noodles noodles send nudes.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
So there you go, your education.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
So have you actually managed to get yourself out of
the habit of using the purple heart at work?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Because I'm embarrassed for you.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
No, I'm still sending it, but I just avoid sending
it to the gen Z's because that feels more risky,
so ejaculate.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
We need to get water, the splashy war es.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Mon's ding ding ding. That's right, it's the splashy water
yeap that is ejaculate.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
So now you know what to avoid. The rest of
the list will be in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Okay, into the main stuff for this week. So the
first topic we want to kind of hook into an
unpack is about Father's Now, Father's Day is Sunday, and
the marketing for it is in full swing. My letterbox
is full of Bunning's catalogs and Ratco sheds and like
Dan Murphy's catalogs. But I got an email this week
from a major brand asking something that I've never seen before.
(09:26):
It asked if I wanted to opt out of Father's
Day marketing. And the email said, we understand that Father's
Day is a sensitive time for many. If you'd prefer
not to receive any Father's Day related emails, you can
opt out by clicking the button below. And it got
me thinking because I think in the last maybe six
or seven years, we've seen this cultural shift around Mother's Day,
(09:50):
like whereas a decade ago it was kind of wall
to wall like World's Best Mom sort of marketing, Whereas
now it's understood that not everyone's experience of motherhood and
not everyone's relationship with their mom is like a Hallmark card.
There is sort of grief and estrangement and it can
be complicated. So brands and people are a little bit
(10:10):
more delicate now around how they talk about Mother's Day.
But this is the first time I've seen this same
treatment applied to Father's Day, so I wanted to check
in with you, guys. Where are we at with Father's
Day this year?
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Stacy?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
What do you think it all means?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
I think it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I definitely think it is a step towards recognizing the
sensitivities around it for some people on the more serious
side of it, because I think we never really consider
the fathers or the men out there who might be
receiving these emails and are desperate to become a dad,
but are also struggling with infertility or their partner having
pregnancy loss. So I think on that side of things,
it's really lovely that there is that sensitivity there for
(10:47):
people who maybe don't have the best relationship or are
longing to be fathers and aren't at this point in
their lives. But on the more cynical side of this,
I just think people might use this opt out situation
to get rid of the emails because they never buy
their dad are present. Like every year my dad tells
me he doesn't want a present. Every year, I believe him.
I just take him for a drink, which he usually
(11:08):
ends up paying for.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
And that's that. Like Father's Day is just not thought
about as much as Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And I'm going to get even more cynical on you,
and I want to step back and ask you both
how you feel about those emails for Mother's Day or
Father's Day, the ones that say, you know, let us
know if you have a complicated relationship with your mother.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Because why am I telling.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
The brand that it's sort of the brand pretending to
be sensitive and concerned about my feelings, but they're also
harvesting my data. Why am I telling them about my
complicated family dynamics? Probably so that they can sell me
more stuff? Or am I being cynical? Do we think
that these are helpful?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
No, that was my second thought. My first thought was oh,
how interesting. My second thought was, oh, this is another
data point for you to fill your algorithm. And also
it also feels like savvy marketing dressed up as empathy.
So I do see that. I'm also interested in why
there was a lag for this to hit the dad's content,
and I wonder if it's because My theory is like
(12:06):
dads seem to carry like less emotional weight in the culture.
Like you think about the way dads are depicted in
pop culture and it's like feel done fee from modern
family or like Daddy Pig, just like well meaning but
quite bumbling dads. So I think fatherhood feels less emotionally loaded,
like in the public's imagination. So I think there's been
(12:27):
less pressure on brands to handle Father's Day carefully until now.
I think this is a kind of an interesting shift here.
It's like, are we finally starting to see dads differently?
And if that's the case, like Father's Day might start
to look really different in future. So I hear your cynicism.
I don't disagree with it. I think you're right about that.
I'm just holding out hope that the dial is kind
(12:48):
of shifting here.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
No, that's really interesting, Mon's I hadn't thought about that,
but now that you mentioned, say, Daddy Pig from Pepper Pig,
there's this iconic song from Pepper Pig where they sing
He's a bit of an expert about Daddy Pig, And
the idea is that he pretends that he's an expert
in all sorts of things, but actually he's pretty useless
at most things. And that really is a sort of
(13:10):
trope that we have around dads. There's another trope that
I think this is kind of reversing too, and it
relates to what you said, Stacy, for people who long
to be dads. Yeah, I'm wondering how big that group is.
I don't want to stereotype, but certainly the pressures that
are on women to pro create are so much more
intense and explicit. But are we now getting to the
(13:34):
point where men too are getting these pressures that they
need to sort of perform adulthood and have babies.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yeah, it just feels like maybe we're putting that onto
people a little bit like that, it's getting to that
extreme point where we're being sensitive about every possible thing,
when really you can choose to turn away from that
if you want. So, does it work for you like Mom's,
doesn't make you think more of a brand that they're
doing this, or does it make you think they are
being a bit manipulative.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
No, I'm cynical about it, but I do think that
sometimes like brands respond to cultural touch points, brands respond
to the cultural temperature, and so I think it's an
interesting signifier.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Now here's something which I've been hanging to talk about
this week. Hamma, barn, dollar bucks, wackadoo. If you recognize
those sounds I just made as actual words, then congratulations.
You are one of the millions of people who is
watching what is considered Australia's most successful show ever. Bluey So,
the animated series by Joe Brahm about the Healer dog family,
(14:36):
is now in sixty countries and was viewed for fifty
five point six billion minutes last year. Most of those
came from my household alone, and if you're like me,
you still can't get through a few of the episodes
Baby Race, Granddad Camping without crying. Such is the power
of these animated dogs. As far as it goes with
(14:56):
screen time, it's widely considered to be one of the
better shows for our kids. So a new article from
the Conversation talked about how researchers watched one hundred and
fifty episodes of Bluey, which I feel like is every
episode of Bluey. Surely they found that she Blue being
a girl, just in case you weren't clear. I know
MEA Friedman only found out about a month ago that
(15:17):
Blue is teaching kids' resilience in the face of life's
ups and downs. Apparently it's the first time the show's
been systematically examined like this to see how it's teaching
resilient behavior, and nearly half of the episodes have that
as the primary or the secondary theme. So, Amelia, are
you as in love with Blue as I am?
Speaker 4 (15:38):
I love that you brought this up.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
I have really complicated feelings that I'm looking forward to
unpacking with you both. I should say that when I
moved back to Australia from the United States last year,
the only thing anyone said to me about the move
was is it going to be like Bluey there? I
cannot overstate the way that Blue has shaped international perceptions
(16:01):
of Australia and of the life of children in Australia.
They think that it's like Bluie, and look, I was
kind of curious about whether it would be like blue
as well, and to some extent it really is. I
think it captures something that's still very present in an
Australian childhood that is gone from at least American childhoods,
which is it feels more carefree, it feels more safe,
(16:23):
it feels more harmonious. So I'd say that it's a
really nice depiction of Australian childhood.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Oh you know what, you two, this show does not
need any more fans. I can hear you both, Joe
loving it sick. We know it's the best show on TV.
Blah blah blah. Joe Brahm's a genius. It's gorgeous. What's
interesting is the unpopular opinion, the undercurrent of I can't
(16:52):
watch this. It's making me feel like a shit parent.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Okay, I'm glad that you brought that up, because this
is where the complicated feelings come in. I got a
text from a friend the other day. She has three children.
I think of her as an amazing parent. For the record,
she wrote me a text pretty much out of the blue.
She said, I'm the bearer of some reassurance about parenting.
I was noodling around and found some conversation about how
(17:16):
parents who watch Bluey with their kids are talking to
each other and their shrinks about how the show makes
them feel like detached, inattentive parents who do not play
enough with their kids. And I thought, well, if she's
feeling like that, To be honest, I'm feeling a bit
like that too.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Yeah. It feels unpopular to say it, but there is
this big swell, this groundswell of parents talking to their
therapist saying this show makes me feel so shit, And
I think that's really interesting to unpack. I saw a
great article on substack. Jess Commons wrote it. She's a journalist,
She's got a substack called mother Loading, and she wrote
about it as well earlier this year and said, how
(17:54):
dare these cartoon dogs with seemingly no financial troubles and
endless amounts of time show me up? There is no
way I can be as engaged, as invested, as imaginative
as them, and it makes me feel shitty. And there's
also there was this hilarious piece in The New Yorker
by Ellis Rosen called Blue's Dad thinks He's so great
(18:18):
and it starts like this, it goes, well, there is again,
mister perfect dad, the best father ever to grace the
television screen. That's what everyone says anyway, including my wife
and children, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I
definitely didn't mind when my daughter asked me to pretend
to be Bluey's dad, even though she wasn't pretending to
(18:39):
be blue Like, the struggle is real. There are parents
out there who feel kind of insecure. This show brings
up a lot of feelings of like guilt and rejection
and fear and maybe defense. And I think that this
show very quietly exposes the gap between the parent that
we are and the parent we wish we were, and
(19:02):
that's confronting.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah, let's call it the Bluey backlash. I've started seeing
it everywhere since I got that text. I found an
article on Good Housekeeping that said Louie is fun to watch,
but it makes parents feel like crap. And I've got
an example of how it makes me feel like crap.
There's an episode called Stickbird, which I think about a lot,
and in that episode, Blue's dad Bandit is really upset
about something and yet he still has to play with Bluie.
(19:27):
They're at the beach, and what's very intriguing about this
episode is that he tells Bluie that he's a bit
upset about something, and in fact, mental health advocacy groups
have praised this episode for reminding men to talk about
their emotions. So great, let's make sure that Blue gets
that recognition. But what's interesting is that he manages to
hold it in having expressed that sadness, and he doesn't
(19:50):
tell Bluie why he's sad. And I think about that,
because that's a really high bar if you're really sad
or upset about something and your parenting to just merely
say I'm upset about something. It has nothing to do
with you. Let's move on and keep playing a game
that's really hard to do. I find myself wanting to
share with my children why I'm sad. Now, maybe that's
(20:10):
a boundary that I shouldn't be crossing. But every time
I do experience, you know, a difficult chapter, I think
about Stickford and how band It doesn't say why he's sad,
and it just feels like an impossible bar.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
The whole show is an impossible bar. Amelia the Whole Show,
like Bandit and Chili, are endlessly patient and playful and
available and navigating like complex emotional issues. They're never hiding
in the pantry scrolling their phone or like giving their
kids the finger behind their back. And even though it's fiction, like,
(20:45):
our brains are still comparing and what we see, yeah,
can make us uncomfortable with how we're doing things. And
I think this show, like you said, it models a
lot of amazing parenting, and so it has become in
the zeitgeist, like the default for great parenting is to
be like Bluie's parents. You know, they model this very slow,
(21:05):
very responsive, very playful parenting. But for most of us
who juggling work and fatigue and commutes and craziest schedules,
like we're tired and we're distracted, and it just feels
quite unattainable.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
And I think there are episodes where you see the
mum and the dad on their phone, but the second
the child enters the room, the phone gets put away.
And I don't know that all of us can say
that that happens immediately when it's us one of the
positives because I love to make myself feel bad. So
now that you've said it, I'm definitely thinking about it
more and thinking about all the times I've gone, oh, yeah,
I probably should be doing that, just like Chilli heeler is,
(21:41):
but I think one of the ways that it's helped
if you're not a parent that finds play naturally comes
to them when your kids are at that age. Imaginative
play I find especially embarrassing. Don't know why, but I've
found that Bluey is kind of a connector to some
games or some activities that I can do with my
daughter that she recognizes from the show, that I recognize
(22:02):
from the show, and then it feels like it's a
level playing field that we're doing what the Healer family did.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
There are some positives, so it is useful anytime a
balloon to play keep you uppy. Let's face that I
wanted to get though. Why we think it's kind of
like pushing our button. I have a theory for why
this is. I think it's because it's depicting parents spending
a lot of one on one time with their children,
giving them a lot of attention, and we feel like
(22:28):
we're not doing enough of that. But I've got a
really reassuring newsflash for you, which is that we are
actually spending so much more time with our children than
previous generations. I found an Economist article from twenty seventeen,
so pre pandemic, which said that parents are now spending
twice as much time with their children than they did
fifty years ago. So don't feel bad. We're already spending
(22:49):
so much more time with them. And it turns out
even men are too, So men are still spending less
time with their children than women are, but the amount
of time has jumped sixteen minutes a day over the
last decade to fifty nine minutes a day. Fifty nine minutes.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
I feel like I'm probably.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Spending around fifty nine minutes a day with my children,
and that's average, and I loved that. One exception to
this trend France. In France, people are still sipping their
wine and ignoring their remarkably well behaved children. That's what
the studies show, So don't feel bad. Australians are spending
plenty of time with their children, and Bluis is accurately
depicting that.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I feel like I've been too hard on Louis. I
do think it is the most beautiful show, the most
well made show on TV right now, and it deserves
all of its sissess and it should infiltrate France and
teach the French engage playful parenting familiar if I am
a parent and I watch this and I feel the
defense mechanism coming up, and I start to feel the
feelings of in us guilty? What are therapists telling parents?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Yeah, so this friend who texted me saying that she
feels bad actually asked around, and she asked an expert
who was a therapist, why she shouldn't feel bad about it.
And this therapist said, each episode shows eight minutes of
their day. Anyone can pareent enthusiastically for eight minutes a day.
For all we know, Bandit spends four hours each day
(24:10):
on the care watching the footy and drinking, and that
does actually make me feel better.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
We can do eight minutes. We can do eight minutes.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Bend needs to go to work, Guys, bend It actually
needs to go and do some work. Like, how are
they affording the three bedroom house in the cul de
sac Stacy?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Yes, Mons, you know you're.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Like, we're getting to know each other. We don't really
know each other that well. Yeah, I deep dived on you.
I googled your name and I started reading your work.
Turns out used to be the editor of Girlfriend magazine.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Yes, that was my dream job. It was so great.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Apart from being here, of course, that's very cool. But
the other thing that worried me was I think I've
said some things to you that I wish I could
take back now, So I'm just confessing my sins to you.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I described you as a mother of one and I
may have at some point in our conversations said to you,
are you one and done? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:59):
I'm so glad you raise this mons because I feel
like I've made the same faux pat with Stacy. I
was allerted to this because there was an article on
folk dot com by Liz Hammond recently, and she makes
the plea that we stop using that phrase one and
done to describe families with one child. I didn't even
know that I shouldn't be using it. Let me explain
(25:20):
why she said we shouldn't be using it. She has
one five year old son, she's pretty sure she doesn't
want more children, and she says that one and done
fails to capture the complexity of raising a child today
because her responsibilities as a parent are not done after
giving birth. Stacy, are we doing it all wrong? And
why do you have a problem with one and done?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Well, you can both stop panicking.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
It's okay because I have referred to myself as one
and done until I read this article as well, so
it's absolutely fine.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
At least to me. It hasn't bothered me.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
But I must admit that that Vogue article did make
me rethink the term, because I thought it was really
interesting that she argued that when you say you're one
and done, it makes it sound like, you know, you
popped out a kid.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
You've done the hard part.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
And now it's just going to be easy, and it's
so much easier than listen not to, is it not?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
It's so not.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I I was on another podcast called The Kids or
Trial Free Podcasts, and Kelty, the host asked me this
question as well, because she said a lot of people
who are considering whether to have children at all often
will say, well, I'll just have one, as if it's
a middle ground. And she said, what is your take.
Do you feel like having one is closer to having
(26:30):
two or closer to having none? And I said, it
is so much closer to having two than to having none,
Like my life is unrecognizable from before having my child.
And so I think there's this understanding that it's like
parenting light. You know that you just got the easy
way out of doing it, but you're still getting all
(26:51):
the emotions and all the stress and all the herd
outside your body and stressing about whether your child will
turn out okay. And then you're layering on all these
assumptions that people have about only children, that they might
be selfish, or they might be weird, or they won't
know how to share with other people. There's so many
things that people kind of put on you.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Well, you said in your article called for Mamma Mia
that you get these comments from.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Yeah to your face, Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And I think, just as a PSA for people who
want to say that, I know it's probably out of
genuine curiosity, but people with one kid are thinking about
it a lot like that is something that plays on
your mind A ton is are you doing the wrong thing?
But I think your reason for having a second can't
be out of service to your child. I think now
women can and all couples can be thinking about what
(27:38):
is best for them as a parent and what will
mean that they can give their child the best life,
whether that's for financial reasons, whether that's for mental health reasons,
whether it's just that you don't feel the strong urge.
Any of those are enough, I think, and so we
probably can stop calling it that.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Stacy. This article that you wrote, and we will link
to it in the show notes because I want everyone
to read it. I think everyone should read it, no
matter how many kids you have. It was beautiful, it
was smart. It's important because language is everything. And what
you highlighted in that article is how many times people
will come to you and weigh in on your reproductive choices.
(28:17):
When are you having a second? Are you going to
give them a sibling? And it just feels so I
know it's well intentioned, but it does kind of feel
very dated to weigh in on someone else's choice of family.
It's like we don't say any more like oh, the
clock's ticking, and we don't say like when are you
going to start a family? Because families come in all
(28:39):
shapes and sizes, So we've mostly retired those phrases because
it feels like, you know, they were never okay in
the first place. I do feel like the questions around
are you having another when are you having another one?
Are you going to give them a sister or brother?
They need to be retired, they should be in the
same bucket.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yeah, definitely. And I think, like I would consider myself
a pretty agreeable person. I know Amelia said yesterday she
can't imagine me being bothered by anything, like I think
I come across and as there was one thing that
bothered you, the people say, and there is one thing
that bothers me, And it's when people say, when are
you having another? Not are you thinking about having another?
Because I understand the genuine curiosity, too's the norm, So
(29:18):
I understand people assuming that if you've had one, you
probably do want to. So I love talking about it
to people, but it's the when that really annoys me
because I think it undermines what people go through to
even have a child in the first place, and what
I went through to have my child in the first place.
For many people, it's not a choice, and having one
(29:38):
might not be what they want. For me, it is,
but for some people that's just how their family dynamic
pans out. So I think there's that, and it also
layers the expectation on women that we're somehow selfish or
prioritizing our own lives too much.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Stacy, you just said it in your own answer. Then
you just said two is the norm, and that's the
kind of thinking that we need to stop. Yeah, that's
the retoric. That's not helpful. It's not the norm. There
is no norm. Families are all shaped, sizes, amount of people,
there is no normal.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Also, people are having fewer children. It's becoming the norm.
You quoted this in the article. But the Australian Bureau
Statistics has new numbers on this and Australian families are
going to have an average of one point six babies
over the next two years. That's down from two point three.
So this is the new norm.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
And I think only just have a pr problem really
because it all stems from research that happened in the
eighteen hundreds around that only children were a disease was
what they were called. And so I like, very selfishly
for my wanting my own reassurance, I interviewed an expert
who's done a lot of research on only children because
she has one child as well, doctor Razina McAlpine. So
(30:50):
she's got a master's in higher education, done so much
research in this area, and research she found showed that
only borns generally do equally as well as first borns
and children in two child families, and they surpassed children
from larger families across all of the measures of academic achievement, intelligence, sociability, character,
and child parent relationship.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
So all the myths around they will grow up lonely,
they don't hold up.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
No, they don't hold up. They have the same outcomes
as children into child households. Thank God for me.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Okay, to wrap up today's show, my favorite bit. We
share the things that we are loving, sick, the things
that we might text to our friends, put in the
mum group chat, whatever it is. It's recommendations, Stacy, what
do you got so mine?
Speaker 4 (31:37):
This week?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Is a sleep story that doesn't make me want to
fall asleep, although I have fallen asleep in my daughter's
bed a lot of times.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Hang on, that's the point. Don't you want them to
be sleepy?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I want them to be sleepy. I don't want to
be listening to it being tortured by the sound. And
there are a few that genuinely are so painful to
listen to, even for a couple of minutes. But on
Spotify it's free. This series called Calm Kids Bedtime Stories,
and there's one called Hector's Exploding Head, which my daughter
and I really love. So it's about a kid who
(32:08):
forgets his mum's birthday and forgets his homework and just
generally hopeless, like all kids around that age can be
with that stuff, and then someone visits the school that
teaches them about breathing to calm themselves down and keep
their head connected to.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Their neck basically so their head doesn't explode. I just
love listening to it.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
I've probably listened to it a hundred times and I'm
not sick of it yet. My daughter's probably half listened
to it about one hundred times because thankfully she dozes off.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
So that's my recommendation called Hector's Exploding Hector's.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Exploding Head, and it's just fun to say.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Well, I wanted to talk about playdate anxiety because I
know I should be hosting playdates, but I hosted one
a couple of years ago that i'm still recovering from.
Thought the kids were playing so nicely together because we
didn't hear from them, and then basically walked into the
room they were playing in and it seriously looked like
the Rolling Stones had been there for seven days having
(33:01):
a party because everything was everywhere, and it just really
triggered my anxiety. I can't deal with stress or mess,
particularly living in a two bedroom of it really gets
to me.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Isn't that the fun of the playdate?
Speaker 3 (33:14):
No, it's not the fun of the play date. Months
I can tell that we're different people. So I needed
to find something to have the children do that did
not result in mess. And I went to a playdate
at someone else's place on the weekend and she had
the most brilliant idea which I'm going to steal, which
is that the girls decorated water bottles together. And I
(33:35):
love this because it's not just like more useless plastic.
It's actually something they need. As we know, water bottles
disappear to the great water bottle black hole in the
sky and you don't know why or where. With the
socks with the one sock, not both socks, just one sock.
And so now she has a water bottle that she's
very proud of. The girls spent a good hour decorating
(33:56):
the water bottles together, and I just thought it was
a brilliant, very tidy activity for a playdate. And I
will unpack my neurosies about mess at a later time,
perhaps not on a podcast. Anyway, these water bottles, you
can get the kits that came. They're about thirty dollars each.
And I'm going to try that out myself next time
I host a play date. Next time I summon the
(34:17):
courage to host a play date.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Okay, So it wasn't like build your own like the
mom didn't gather all the separate bits and do it.
It's already done for us.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Oh gosh, no, no, yeah, it was a kit with
stickers and righty things, and yeah it was great.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Okay, team, I have the ultimate test of grit for
your kids. You know, we're always looking of ways to
increase resilience in our children. I've got a screen endurance
test that's going to break them.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Sounds fine.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
You sit down to watch a movie with them. You
select Disney, then choose Mary Poppins. Say nothing, and what
will happen next will determine your kid's level of resilience
because the intro Mary Poppins is lacially slow. There's three
(35:06):
minutes and six seconds before anything happens on the screens,
just text and very slow Edwardian sort of music. I
aged thirty years before Mary flies out. Of the fucking sky.
I swear to god, it's so sore. My kids could
not handle it, and I was loving it. I just
said nothing, and they were like, mom, mom, working themselves
(35:29):
into the biggest lather. Why is nothing happening? What are
these words on the screen. I loved it for them.
I think it's the ultimate endurance test for the screen generation.
I highly recommend it.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
That is deranged and I love it. I want to
add a further deranged recommendation for that movie, which is
I find the lead actor very attractive. I enjoyed watching it.
He's very attractive.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Dick Vandyke was back in the ninety nine and he's
dancing and he's still living a great life.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
And I just love Dick Van Dyke.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
No is he the one that could start with the
harmonica and no.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Chimney sweet mons. I guess I'm purple heart for Dick
van dye. Yeah, I think you are.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I think what's refreshing about Dick Van Dyke is his
bad teeth, Like how you never see bad teeth on
screens anymore? And I saw his teeth and I was like, Oh,
that's so nice that someone doesn't have a year.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
That is so cruel and such a bad kind of
compliment to a screen merchend.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I'm not into him. I am into mister Banks how
he walks in at the start, He's like, my home
is run like a thing. Like he's just so like
precise about everything. I love that for him.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
So what we're saying basically, there's like two male fox
leads to choose between.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yeah, the moms pick your poison and torture your kids.
It sounds great.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
All right, that's all we have time for on Parenting
out Loud today. Thanks for hanging out.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I want to shout out to the out louders who
said we should make this show a real thing, Like
you're the reason where he's doing this, so thank you
for getting around it. Mainly Amelia, it's people want you Amelia,
so Stacy and I.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
I'm choosing don't ever use the brain oji when talking
about me.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Special mentions to Sally who said parenting podcasts of boring,
except this one's great.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
We love you, Sally.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Sophie said anything with Amelia, I'm tuning in.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
There's a lot of that, Sophie. I'm offended.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
I know, I know, we're just the hangers on. And Myth,
who said I don't even have kids and I never
miss an episode, put that on the billboard and then
she put a purple heart emoji. Eh, Myth, we're horny
for you two if you'd loved this episode. The best
way to help us in these really early days is
(37:48):
just to do one thing. It's search for Parenting out
Loud in your podcast app, find the show, and then
hit follow. So it's free to do it. But it's
like the Instagram algorithm, kind of equivalent of a love heart,
where if you do it, it pushes the show in
the algorithm, Like the algorithm goes, oh, like shit, there's
all these people that are liking this one, so it
(38:09):
surfaces it to more all so more people see it
and are like, oh, what's this? Oh merely a lester?
Yes please, you can't dyke discussion so topical. But if
all that sounds too hard, that's fine, no pressure. Just
come back next Saturday and hang out again. It's been great,
so have a great week and we'll talk to you then.
By bye.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.