April 13, 2025 • 31 mins
On today’s episode, writer, comedian and host of Mamamia's 456 Club podcast, Cathrine Mahoney joins us to share her unfiltered experience of parenting a teenager. With her trademark humour, Cathrine Mahoney offers hilarious reality checks about what's coming in the teenage years from endless food bills to impossible-to-wake mornings, and the unexpected melancholy of the parenting moments you don't realise will be your last.
Whether you're in the trenches with little ones, or watching your teenager pull away, this episode offers the perfect blend of practical wisdom and emotional validation about the parenting journey that passes all too quickly, reminding us to treasure even the challenging parts of parenting.
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CREDITS:
Host: Tegan Natoli, Annaliese Todd
With thanks to Cathrine Mahoney
Producer: Tina Matolov
Audio Producer: Jacob Round
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to
this glorious mess. We're embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment.
I'm Analys todd and help. I have a teenager. My
(00:35):
elders just turned thirteen. Send thoughts and press Wow, Oh
my gosh, it's happening. I know I'm teaking a tolly
and I had three kids in a year, so they're
now six and seven. And I'm so scared for you
because I don't know what's worse, like three toddlers all
at once, or when I have three teens all at once.
(00:56):
I think three teenagers. Oh, because it goes for longer.
It's so true, especially when they're like three of them
spaced out of you. It's a lot of oh my god.
Today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer, comedian,
and host of Muma MIA's four five six Club podcast,
Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,
(01:19):
as her son Lewis just turned sixteen, so she's going
to be our oracle into the future and scare us
by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.
And we're also going to be touching on the things
you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,
all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently loathe.
(01:42):
One day soon you'll actually might miss them.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And how you never quite know when things will be
your last, you know, the last last get me and
the first and then all the last.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I think the last are so much sad because the
first exciting, and it's like they've achieved something. It's it's
like last is like and usually you don't realize it
in that moment. It's like you know, or you know,
the other day, I'm like, I can't carry you to
bed anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
You're too heavy.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I know, I still end up doing it.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I wish it was the bloody last that is coming
up very soon our chat with Kath and I cannot wait.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Oh, I cannot wait too.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. So
I came across a TikTok this week. Oh you love
a tip? Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking,
well do you? Anyway, it's a well known actor Kiri Kasara,
and she shared a TikTok hack on how to solve
this dilemma and save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm
(02:43):
in yes, So like are you are you?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
You're a decisive person? Aren't you analis?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Mostly?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
How about in relationships? You know, like when it's like, oh,
what do you feel like for dinner?
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
No, I am one trillion per DECI yeah, you'd be
like I absolutely need to eat this.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
So this hack is like a marriage hack that saves arguments.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So basically it's bringing in.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
It's called the fifty to fifty marriage hack, and it's
all about the percentage of what you want to do
and then your partner's percentage of where they're at. And
that's like your negotiation percentage rates. Let me give you
a I've got Yes, I can see the last I
need pins and strings of your life. Example, I'm your boyfriend,
(03:30):
have my friend? Had I walk in and we're gonna
go out for dinner? All right, what are you leaning towards?
What do you feel like to eat for dinner? I
feel like Indian ninety percent? Okay and tie ten percent.
Oh that's really uncomfortable for me because I don't like
Indian food, but because I know you want it so
badly ninety percent, Like that's a pretty high percentage. I
(03:52):
might have been like, oh, look, I only wanted Indian
fifty percent. I could have done tie fifty percent, but
you know what, because you are like ninety percent wanting
your Indian food, Yes, we'll go with Indian tonight, right.
So it's about putting a compromising It's like it's like
putting your cards on the table in terms of like no,
(04:12):
this matters like this much to me, and this doesn't
really matter as much to me, and then the other
person can go, okay, well I could see that that
really matters to you and this doesn't really matter to me,
so let's meet here. So it's like a communication compromise tool.
It is like compromise negotiation, meet in the middle, and
(04:35):
you can see it for anything anything like yes, whether
to go out on a Saturday, like yeah, do you
want to stay in or go out? Like how much
do you want to go out on I'm like twenty
percent go out And it's like, oh, but you know,
I'm like eighty percent want to go out. Okay, Well
I can find another thirty percent and meet you there.
Because when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be
(04:55):
indecisive with language, so you don't really know where the
other person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,
I don't know, you do know, but you just don't,
like you don't want to say it, or you're not
sure which one. But if you put your two options,
like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,
and then the other person brings their two options with
(05:16):
their percentages that they want, and then you together can
come up with a little an equally decided decision. I'm
going to use this sactic and totally this is my
second favorite thing you've.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Ever brought to that. What was the first?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The karaoke where there was women fighting over the last time,
that was my first favorite. Sorry, oh you're going to
say with my David? Oh yeah, that's probably now third. Okay, So, Annalise,
you caught up with your mate recently, the very funny
(05:51):
comedian and author Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten
you about having a teenager.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Well, you've already frightened me about having a teenager.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
And also frighten us about what you now can expect
now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis has just sixteen,
and I can't wait to hear what she had to say.
Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to this glorious mess. I've brought
you in today because help I have a teenager.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Congratulations, thank you. So both made it this far.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I know, just but it's my first and so I'm scared.
And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the
Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a
scarier time literally to have a teenager. So you're a
few years down the track. Lewis is sixteen. Yeah, just
turned sixteen.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
My freak out because I keep reverting to what I
was doing at sixteen.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Oh gosh, I'm like, no, dying in a field.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation that
never looked very good. That's probably too short in the lag,
dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he won't be
doing that.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
No, definitely not in a cat suit. No, total, totally fine.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, it's just strange, strange time.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do you know why I was thinking this morning? I
still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel right
that I have one.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
As they get older, you realize more and more and
more how your parents were winging it. Like you look
to your parents when you're a kid and you were
like they know everything. And now I have a sixteen
year old and I'm fifty, I still go, I know nothing.
What does REDDITS say about that? Let's get on Google's
call a friend.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I don't know I have called a friend? Yeah, So
like what a what am I walking into here? What
do I need to expect? Look out for?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Look? I think they all you know, you have a boy.
I have a boy. I have friends who've got daughters,
and I go, oh, glad I've got the boy. I mean,
I think I feel very lucky that Lewis is a
delicious kid, Like he really is a good young man.
But you know, stuff happens and it is and it
is as you are told. Suddenly you literally feel like
(08:09):
the uber chef money provider. Yeah, I mean, I mean,
where can I start the fridge? So I'm a solo
parent like you, It's just me and lou or me,
So I kind of know what I've put in the
fridge will be there tomorrow. So if I overcook for dinner.
That's fine. I can have that for lunch or send
it off for lou school. Except teenagers do things like
(08:31):
when you go to bed, they just go back to
the fridge. He's a he's sort of like a I
don't know, he's like a swarm of locusts through my fridge.
Nothing stays there. So you've got food ahead of you,
got really long showers.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Good?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Not good? If they indicate what some other friends with
older boys have said, they indicate.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Right, What else can I tell?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Food bill?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Water bill?
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Foods Bill is ridiculous? Also, I want to go to
sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather like, I
would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or
six in the morning and be asleep for nine. Lewis,
I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in
the morning. But he's still wide awake late into the night,
so we are definitely on a different trajectory when it
(09:19):
comes to sleep time.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Can you tell them to go to sleep still?
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Juris junctions, No, you don't have a lot. You don't
have the power that you used to have when they
were little. Sadly, yeah, no, you don't have really any control.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends
who have daughters going through this, I think for girls
it's it's the emotions of emotions. And my favorite story
is like my girlfriend the other day, she was like, oh,
we've both got our period. We're in sync. My poor
husband people having their period at the same time. My
(09:54):
girl friend has.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Been just in that situation, whereas Lewis and I are
his teenage hormones and I was like, perimenopause. Oh, so
that was hard. That was like he didn't know what
was going on with his body or his emotions. I
didn't know what was going on with my body or
my at least I'm on the HRT now, Paul Lewis
just something to push through. But we did. We had
(10:15):
the big discussion. You know, you're going through all of
these changes, so is mum. So if you do not
on the fourth time, I ask you to take the
Apple and Chris packets from the corner of the room
because it's not actually dedicated. Ben, you don't do it
on the fourth time, I will turn out like the
Banshee from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
We had parenting Guru Jen Muir on the show a
while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,
the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know
this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that
they're experiencing sort of crumples their frontal lobe, so their
actual function is less than it used to be. And
(10:55):
so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes
and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't
see things anymore. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish
by the front door, and Lewis will step over them.
Like we're on the fourth floor of an art deco building.
No lift, so you'll feel like a sherpa going up
and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make
a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff, the towel.
The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on
(11:24):
the floor. So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah,
bins don't workin bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things
out near the bins outside our block, and lu said,
I just sometimes I'm just try and throw the apple call.
I'm like, Lewis, you know, come on, So bins are terrible,
(11:46):
food is terrible, Homework is a bit of a chore.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Did that start out well? Because I feel like we're
starting out well.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah, you start out well. Everything starts out well. You're
in the honeymoon period.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You really are, you really are.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And there's this kind of smell that they have. You
probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must
just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older
sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them
if they shower and showering, there's just like a smell.
Although sometimes I will catch Lewis just putting his deodrink
like over his jumper. Oh god, we need we need
(12:23):
to go into the armpit situation. It's not going to
help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah, they're a joy.
They also don't you talk to them, So that lovely
sort of two way conversation that you have stops and
only resumes if they want to chat. So out of nowhere,
they'll ask you something and it will be quite a
(12:43):
deep conversation. It's usually in the car for me and
I side by side, the face to face and you're like,
I'm back in a real person, Let's have a conversation,
you know. And then other times, like on the weekend
we went down the coast to spend some time with
my folks who are here from the UK, and Lewis like,
I'm so excited we're all going to be together as
(13:04):
a family. And then he got in the car and
for the next hour and half put his ear pods
in with me.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I just was like, right, he's a great time. He's
usually much better, I promise.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
But this is all normal. Apparently this is all normal.
And I have to say, you know, so far touched
towards he's a pretty good kid.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
One of the things that I've heard is that can
be really tricky for people. And I think it was
different for you and I because we had the solo
parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that
it's that real letting go. And if you don't have
something else in your life other than your children and
they are your entire focus because they are pulling away
(13:46):
from you, that can be so tricky because then you're
a bit like, oh, what do I do now.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was
five when my ex husband and I split up. So
for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never
we haven't been together all the time, So you do
get used to that. What I was talking to another
friend who's a solo parent with it teenage kids, was
as they get older, having them in the house can
(14:14):
feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're out
and about doing your own thing. When they are there,
they're still at an age where you have to be there,
cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,
eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.
You're still a parent, but they want zero to do
with you. So it's like you have gone at the
times where you're like, should we watch a show together?
(14:36):
Totally gone no. So you literally will make the food.
They may or may not converse with you while you
eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.
So so you know, I find that more lonely, I
think sometimes and than when he's not there.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I love watching team I mean we don't watch kid shows.
We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney, bold ones that
may stop that stopped for us, that's actually happened.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah, And Also it's that moment where you realize that
they are their own person and and not that you
ever think that they're you're like possession. But when they're smaller,
they hold hand, You hold hands with them, walking across
the road, You hug them, you bath and whatever you do.
And then they get to a point obviously where it's
like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,
(15:24):
can have a hug? You know, you don't just go
in for the hug? Can I have a hug? And
nine nights out of ten it's like, oh, or it's
a cheek or it's okay, but can you put some
money in my spriggy? Or are we having sushi? Can
you not cook? I'll give you a hug. Like there's
this real like trade off.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And it's that thing where you go from being the
main character in their story to the driver.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently. And
as my mum said, as I said, she's here from
the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen, if he
didn't have the life that he had and his you know,
fishing and surfing and sport and school friends, and he
just wanted to spend twenty four to seven with me
(16:09):
watching watch that would also be concerning. So you know
that everything that they're doing touch Wood is on track
for life, but it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
As a parent. No, it's not.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Coming up.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
After this short break, Kath shares the moments she misses
and some of the last that you don't realize will
be your last until they go on.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I'm going to tissue for this take.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
That's next.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So Kath Mahony, we've just been talking about the pain
points of parenting teens and you know you're with a
son at age sixteen. You've only got two more years
until he's an actual grown up.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Which is just scar We're about to start driving lessons.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
It's very scary.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I wanted to sort of reflect and think back for
people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have
what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,
but what they're currently in. Sometimes you know, at the
end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing
that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,
(17:23):
and it's just like the little things that great you.
But when you're coming out the other side, how does
it feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the
last Oh.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
It's very sad. Fun I mean, it's funny you do
put your rose colored glasses on. You know. I did
think about pushing Leu on the swing the other day.
I was like, I never do that again. I mean,
I will, but he would be a big person on
the swing, and then I have to snap out of
it and go remember how much you hated the park,
especially as a solo parent. He hated that. Why the
(17:55):
other day, my boobs did this weird thing.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Did they tingle?
Speaker 4 (17:58):
They tingled? And I was like, oh my gosh. Breastfeeding.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
I have a breastfeed again.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
And again I'm like, why am I missing the soreness?
But it's kind of you. You don't know it's your
last you know, you don't know it's the last time
you're get to a breastfeed, if that was what you
chose to do. Until it's over. You don't realize that
it's going to be the last time that they want
to hold your hand, that they try to hold your
hand across the road. So it is. It is sad.
(18:26):
Things like I want to put Cars, the movie on
which was the bane of my life. Now I want
to watch Lightning McQueen. Yeah, love with Lou because we
but you know, on the millionths time, you were like,
I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like, I'd
love to just watch cars, but he won't watch anything anything,
not really, No.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day
for me. I love watching DV.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
With my kids.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Also, what what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,
kind of, it just goes so quickly. And you do
you just those those mornings when they wake you up
at five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait
till you're a teenager and you don't want to get
out of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I
miss that. I missing the stylist, oh right, and miss
(19:13):
being like in charge of the wardrobe and the hair.
That is really difficult to let go of because as
my mum did not like the way that I dressed
at sixteen, all my hairstyles, I'm feeling the sort of
same about Loo. Yeah. I liked when I could put
him in his little navy white stripe, and.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I like the little sailor.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I liked when I could be like, oh, could we
just have the peaky blinders kind of can we have
that kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool. Now
it's that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's
still hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go.
What do you think you'll miss?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I remember when you've got two and they're little, so
you've got like a little baby and a toddler, and
it's like that witching hour. And I remember like having
anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five o'clock
because I knew it was coming, because you've got to
do the bath and the dinner and then everyone's got
different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But now
(20:11):
I think just having them like giggling and gurgling in
a bath and playing with little toys, like how delightful.
But at the time it was the most stressful thing
in the universe ever.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
It was horrible. But I'm the same. I miss that
washing the hair, the toys that come on. You've been
in long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing
that you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's
like all going to be smacked down by seven.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, And I even just I loved because I had
quite a lot of time at home with babies and
on Matt leave, and I did freelancing, so I was
really lucky. I had a lot of time at home
and I loved. This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe
play like I loved, you know, making up pretend worlds
(21:01):
and doing vets and all of that silly stuff, or
just even just flying around toys to music. We used
to how to Train your Drag Drag was out cars,
and so we had all the drag and figurines and
we'd put the movie soundtrack on and just like run
around flying dragons, like, oh, it's so fun.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
It's hard, isn't it when it goes? And you also
know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,
so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,
you know again, being the chef, but going like this
is the option. There is no other option. You don't
even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be
eating this, yes, and being asked things mom, Mom, Like
that's now now, I'm like there.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Were snow anything because they just ask Siri. Yes, they
don't need to ask.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
They don't ask us anymore.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Siri is their new parent.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Now.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
I almost miss the car seat because I thought it
was strapped in the back, and then I thought, no,
I don't miss the car seat, and that sort of
point whether you're about to break you back, they're getting
a bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,
don't miss the prams.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
No, I definitely don't miss a pram.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to have
a handbag the size of a house with all of
the stuff in.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, do you I don't miss I've got it.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Are you still on that?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh, I've got a big hambag, but it's mostly full
of like makeup and do I don't like stuff for me?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and
nappy white and corn thins. O.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Kid's parties.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
I never thought I would miss kids parties.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh you do miss well?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
I miss the fact that you get to a point
where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah, so
that's you know, you go from I used to have
real trauma around the party and the cake and what
you're doing and the lolli bags, the activities. That was
always really stressful. Then you get to a point where
you can do the let's go bowling or pick four
friends or go to the movies, and then you get
(22:51):
to the point where it's like, can you just put
some money on my card? Mum? And Christmas? That would
be my last big miss Oh No, Christmas changes, doesn't
it when their thoughts around the big Man in Red change.
I don't know who's listening to this, so I don't
want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah, Ristmas. Christmas
when they would wake up at five and you would say,
(23:13):
we're not going downstairs to see if he's been for
another two hours now, it would be about eleven o'clock
and it's my birthday on Christmas, so I'm a bit like,
let's go, what do we got?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.
The breach has taken over.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Yes, and love's good when he's with Dad because they
have he's got a little sister, so he allows the
magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.
But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels and that that
feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to
watch any Christmas movie in the lead up or want
(23:54):
to put the tree up, or help with the tree,
or decorate the tree that I would then redecorate when
he went to.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Bed, because it's so bad every time.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
That was crushing as a Christmas person, that's probably that's
probably one of the things I miss the most.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Hallow, No, you've got how old are youngest?
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Ten?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
You've got, You've got a few years because they hang
on for a while because they don't want to admit
they're not sure in case the presents do stop.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it. Yeah,
love it.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
So for anyone listening, if you're waking up at five
am this coming Christmas, just remember kath Mahony will be.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
We'd love to join it because it's like I just
you get to do it. You forget. You don't realize
that you're going to miss all of these festivities.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about
the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the
egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa and.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
The tooth fairy. Yeah, when they get between fifty cents
and fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when
the tooth comes out. Yeah, there would be some of
the things I miss.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I hadn't thought about that, the rituals.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of the bits,
even the pushing of the swing in the park and
the premill even even knowing that the stuff in your
hair may or may not be regogitated food, and that
you didn't.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Eat the joy in the giggles of the bath, that
would be my thing, Like I wish I didn't dread
that so much, And I just really like lapped up
the magic and the joy of little babies playing in.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Water, so silly, silly and fun fun because they That's
another thing with teenager I guess their fun doesn't necessarily
involve you anymore. When they're little and they're joyful and fun,
you get to experience it when they're a bit older. Yeah,
you're not invited to the fun bit. Yeah, because you're
not the main character, not the main character. You are
(26:02):
the chef or the driver. Yeah, and you also have
all this what I've noticed about being a parent to
a tea is you hold on to things, you know,
Like if Lou's upset about a situation about not being
picked for something or sport, I will then have trauma
for like the next week, And then the next time
I mentioned it, he said, I can't know.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
I've moved on.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Yeah, he had a school dance. He's a bit taller now,
but he's quite little. A couple of years ago he
had a school dance. With it that he's in a
same sex school. They had a school dance and he
was quite upset because some of the girls wouldn't dance
with him and laugh because he was little. And I
mentioned it the other day. He's had a gross spurt
now he's getting quite tall, and I said, I said
I would still if I met those girls, I would
(26:44):
end to them. And Lewis was like, oh, Mom, I
can't even remember that. I lie in bed wondering who
they were, and you've let it go.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
So I think that's my other bit of advice. Yet,
don't fester on things. They seem to move through stuff
pretty quickly. Teages resilience, resilience, resilience and a spriggy card
spriggy card. Lewis has learnt now to say. He calls
how are you? How's your day? It's like he's reading
it for a card, like a Telly kind of callern
(27:17):
Can I have somebody in my card? Used to just
be can you put somebody on my sprigging? Now he
knows well enough to ask how I am. He's probably
got a little script he does, he does. I think
he also works for an electricity company. The other answer
in those numbers, you don't know. It's probably Lewis, how
are you?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
How's your day?
Speaker 4 (27:33):
You put somebody on my spree and try our electricity brand?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Right? Well, cathermoney, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,
I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about
embracing whatever stage you're at.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Really, I think so andre realizing that what you might
want is different to what you're actually going to get.
But as I said, I wouldn't want those to just
want to be hanging out with his mum at sixteen.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
No.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, but now I understand why.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group
of people, but you know that's just different.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And now I understand why my mum and my parents
are so insufferable with my kids because it's like that's
when you get to live it again.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Yes, grandkids and they really love the grandparents, don't.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
And you, And that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable
and clinging on to them because they know that they
one day also don't want.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
To borrow them.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
No, no, oh god, so much, so much sad stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Great, Thank you so much, Catherinoney, We love you and
thanks for coming on this glorious mess.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Oh tee, that was an emotion journey. Yeah she's so
but she's so funny. She is laugh but she got
me thinking, yeah, she could be thinking about like the
last that, Like I didn't really like that. My kids
are really six and seven. You know, it's not as
they're moving out or you know, yeah, but you don't
(29:01):
appreciate them. It's like that song you don't know till
it's gone. Literally life is a song. But like I
I know that I absolutely wished my kids baby days
away because I had three in a year and then
so I had three babies at one time and it
was a dead set logistical nightmare. So I literally woke
(29:23):
up every day going I can't wait till they're older,
or I can't wait till they're at school, or I
can't wait till they can walk. I can't wait till
they can get them pour themselves a cup of Jews.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I can't wait. I would like literally wished away the
goo goo gaga.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
But with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about
wishing those moments or that time away?
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, I do a little bit.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I know that I look at like photos and videos
of when especially the twins, like Lumbando too, but I
think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did get
to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but it
also it was mayhem. But I know that if like
I didn't have another one so close together after having
(30:05):
the twins, I would have probably been a lot more
relaxed and soaked it up a little bit more like
you know, having the twins and then you know, end
my time with Banjo in his time, you know what
I mean. I feel like I definitely wished it away,
and I just I look back at those videos of them,
you know, like when they're just starting to string words
(30:26):
together and sentence it and tiny little voice and they're
cute little walks, like they're they're like wattles and stuff
like that. Like I look at that now and like,
I don't know, maybe every mom does that, though yes,
oh definitely. I cannot look at a video of my
child being a toddler without going yeah, So maybe it's like, yeah,
maybe I'm not as regretful as I think I am.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Because you know, you only you only go into.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Whatever mode you're feeling at the time, right, which for
me was probably utter overwhelm. But even I look at
photos of like my kids twelve months ago and I'm.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Like, oh, look how tiny they were compared to now, Like,
they just grow up. They just grow up so bloody fast,
don't they.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, And it's true what they say that the days
are long, but the year are short, and that flyby
is my dead set motto. They are because my days
was so long and they're just as long now, but
the years are getting shorter and shorter and shorter.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
I think everyone would agree.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Well, thank you so much for listening to this glorious mess.
We hope you enjoyed the episode, and if you did,
we'd love it if you left a rating and a review.
This episode was produced by Tina Madalov with audio production
by Jacob Brown. See Yeah, I'll see you next time.
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to
this glorious mess. We're embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment.
I'm Analys todd and help. I have a teenager. My
(00:35):
elders just turned thirteen. Send thoughts and press Wow, Oh
my gosh, it's happening. I know I'm teaking a tolly
and I had three kids in a year, so they're
now six and seven. And I'm so scared for you
because I don't know what's worse, like three toddlers all
at once, or when I have three teens all at once.
(00:56):
I think three teenagers. Oh, because it goes for longer.
It's so true, especially when they're like three of them
spaced out of you. It's a lot of oh my god.
Today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer, comedian,
and host of Muma MIA's four five six Club podcast,
Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,
(01:19):
as her son Lewis just turned sixteen, so she's going
to be our oracle into the future and scare us
by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.
And we're also going to be touching on the things
you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,
all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently loathe.
(01:42):
One day soon you'll actually might miss them.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And how you never quite know when things will be
your last, you know, the last last get me and
the first and then all the last.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I think the last are so much sad because the
first exciting, and it's like they've achieved something. It's it's
like last is like and usually you don't realize it
in that moment. It's like you know, or you know,
the other day, I'm like, I can't carry you to
bed anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
You're too heavy.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I know, I still end up doing it.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I wish it was the bloody last that is coming
up very soon our chat with Kath and I cannot wait.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Oh, I cannot wait too.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. So
I came across a TikTok this week. Oh you love
a tip? Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking,
well do you? Anyway, it's a well known actor Kiri Kasara,
and she shared a TikTok hack on how to solve
this dilemma and save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm
(02:43):
in yes, So like are you are you?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
You're a decisive person? Aren't you analis?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Mostly?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
How about in relationships? You know, like when it's like, oh,
what do you feel like for dinner?
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
No, I am one trillion per DECI yeah, you'd be
like I absolutely need to eat this.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
So this hack is like a marriage hack that saves arguments.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So basically it's bringing in.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
It's called the fifty to fifty marriage hack, and it's
all about the percentage of what you want to do
and then your partner's percentage of where they're at. And
that's like your negotiation percentage rates. Let me give you
a I've got Yes, I can see the last I
need pins and strings of your life. Example, I'm your boyfriend,
(03:30):
have my friend? Had I walk in and we're gonna
go out for dinner? All right, what are you leaning towards?
What do you feel like to eat for dinner? I
feel like Indian ninety percent? Okay and tie ten percent.
Oh that's really uncomfortable for me because I don't like
Indian food, but because I know you want it so
badly ninety percent, Like that's a pretty high percentage. I
(03:52):
might have been like, oh, look, I only wanted Indian
fifty percent. I could have done tie fifty percent, but
you know what, because you are like ninety percent wanting
your Indian food, Yes, we'll go with Indian tonight, right.
So it's about putting a compromising It's like it's like
putting your cards on the table in terms of like no,
(04:12):
this matters like this much to me, and this doesn't
really matter as much to me, and then the other
person can go, okay, well I could see that that
really matters to you and this doesn't really matter to me,
so let's meet here. So it's like a communication compromise tool.
It is like compromise negotiation, meet in the middle, and
(04:35):
you can see it for anything anything like yes, whether
to go out on a Saturday, like yeah, do you
want to stay in or go out? Like how much
do you want to go out on I'm like twenty
percent go out And it's like, oh, but you know,
I'm like eighty percent want to go out. Okay, Well
I can find another thirty percent and meet you there.
Because when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be
(04:55):
indecisive with language, so you don't really know where the
other person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,
I don't know, you do know, but you just don't,
like you don't want to say it, or you're not
sure which one. But if you put your two options,
like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,
and then the other person brings their two options with
(05:16):
their percentages that they want, and then you together can
come up with a little an equally decided decision. I'm
going to use this sactic and totally this is my
second favorite thing you've.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Ever brought to that. What was the first?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The karaoke where there was women fighting over the last time,
that was my first favorite. Sorry, oh you're going to
say with my David? Oh yeah, that's probably now third. Okay, So, Annalise,
you caught up with your mate recently, the very funny
(05:51):
comedian and author Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten
you about having a teenager.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Well, you've already frightened me about having a teenager.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
And also frighten us about what you now can expect
now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis has just sixteen,
and I can't wait to hear what she had to say.
Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to this glorious mess. I've brought
you in today because help I have a teenager.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Congratulations, thank you. So both made it this far.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I know, just but it's my first and so I'm scared.
And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the
Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a
scarier time literally to have a teenager. So you're a
few years down the track. Lewis is sixteen. Yeah, just
turned sixteen.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
My freak out because I keep reverting to what I
was doing at sixteen.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Oh gosh, I'm like, no, dying in a field.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation that
never looked very good. That's probably too short in the lag,
dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he won't be
doing that.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
No, definitely not in a cat suit. No, total, totally fine.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, it's just strange, strange time.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do you know why I was thinking this morning? I
still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel right
that I have one.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
As they get older, you realize more and more and
more how your parents were winging it. Like you look
to your parents when you're a kid and you were
like they know everything. And now I have a sixteen
year old and I'm fifty, I still go, I know nothing.
What does REDDITS say about that? Let's get on Google's
call a friend.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I don't know I have called a friend? Yeah, So
like what a what am I walking into here? What
do I need to expect? Look out for?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Look? I think they all you know, you have a boy.
I have a boy. I have friends who've got daughters,
and I go, oh, glad I've got the boy. I mean,
I think I feel very lucky that Lewis is a
delicious kid, Like he really is a good young man.
But you know, stuff happens and it is and it
is as you are told. Suddenly you literally feel like
(08:09):
the uber chef money provider. Yeah, I mean, I mean,
where can I start the fridge? So I'm a solo
parent like you, It's just me and lou or me,
So I kind of know what I've put in the
fridge will be there tomorrow. So if I overcook for dinner.
That's fine. I can have that for lunch or send
it off for lou school. Except teenagers do things like
(08:31):
when you go to bed, they just go back to
the fridge. He's a he's sort of like a I
don't know, he's like a swarm of locusts through my fridge.
Nothing stays there. So you've got food ahead of you,
got really long showers.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Good?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Not good? If they indicate what some other friends with
older boys have said, they indicate.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Right, What else can I tell?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Food bill?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Water bill?
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Foods Bill is ridiculous? Also, I want to go to
sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather like, I
would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or
six in the morning and be asleep for nine. Lewis,
I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in
the morning. But he's still wide awake late into the night,
so we are definitely on a different trajectory when it
(09:19):
comes to sleep time.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Can you tell them to go to sleep still?
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Juris junctions, No, you don't have a lot. You don't
have the power that you used to have when they
were little. Sadly, yeah, no, you don't have really any control.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends
who have daughters going through this, I think for girls
it's it's the emotions of emotions. And my favorite story
is like my girlfriend the other day, she was like, oh,
we've both got our period. We're in sync. My poor
husband people having their period at the same time. My
(09:54):
girl friend has.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Been just in that situation, whereas Lewis and I are
his teenage hormones and I was like, perimenopause. Oh, so
that was hard. That was like he didn't know what
was going on with his body or his emotions. I
didn't know what was going on with my body or
my at least I'm on the HRT now, Paul Lewis
just something to push through. But we did. We had
(10:15):
the big discussion. You know, you're going through all of
these changes, so is mum. So if you do not
on the fourth time, I ask you to take the
Apple and Chris packets from the corner of the room
because it's not actually dedicated. Ben, you don't do it
on the fourth time, I will turn out like the
Banshee from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
We had parenting Guru Jen Muir on the show a
while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,
the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know
this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that
they're experiencing sort of crumples their frontal lobe, so their
actual function is less than it used to be. And
(10:55):
so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes
and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't
see things anymore. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish
by the front door, and Lewis will step over them.
Like we're on the fourth floor of an art deco building.
No lift, so you'll feel like a sherpa going up
and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make
a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff, the towel.
The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on
(11:24):
the floor. So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah,
bins don't workin bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things
out near the bins outside our block, and lu said,
I just sometimes I'm just try and throw the apple call.
I'm like, Lewis, you know, come on, So bins are terrible,
(11:46):
food is terrible, Homework is a bit of a chore.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Did that start out well? Because I feel like we're
starting out well.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah, you start out well. Everything starts out well. You're
in the honeymoon period.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You really are, you really are.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
And there's this kind of smell that they have. You
probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must
just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older
sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them
if they shower and showering, there's just like a smell.
Although sometimes I will catch Lewis just putting his deodrink
like over his jumper. Oh god, we need we need
(12:23):
to go into the armpit situation. It's not going to
help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah, they're a joy.
They also don't you talk to them, So that lovely
sort of two way conversation that you have stops and
only resumes if they want to chat. So out of nowhere,
they'll ask you something and it will be quite a
(12:43):
deep conversation. It's usually in the car for me and
I side by side, the face to face and you're like,
I'm back in a real person, Let's have a conversation,
you know. And then other times, like on the weekend
we went down the coast to spend some time with
my folks who are here from the UK, and Lewis like,
I'm so excited we're all going to be together as
(13:04):
a family. And then he got in the car and
for the next hour and half put his ear pods
in with me.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I just was like, right, he's a great time. He's
usually much better, I promise.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
But this is all normal. Apparently this is all normal.
And I have to say, you know, so far touched
towards he's a pretty good kid.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
One of the things that I've heard is that can
be really tricky for people. And I think it was
different for you and I because we had the solo
parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that
it's that real letting go. And if you don't have
something else in your life other than your children and
they are your entire focus because they are pulling away
(13:46):
from you, that can be so tricky because then you're
a bit like, oh, what do I do now.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was
five when my ex husband and I split up. So
for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never
we haven't been together all the time, So you do
get used to that. What I was talking to another
friend who's a solo parent with it teenage kids, was
as they get older, having them in the house can
(14:14):
feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're out
and about doing your own thing. When they are there,
they're still at an age where you have to be there,
cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,
eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.
You're still a parent, but they want zero to do
with you. So it's like you have gone at the
times where you're like, should we watch a show together?
(14:36):
Totally gone no. So you literally will make the food.
They may or may not converse with you while you
eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.
So so you know, I find that more lonely, I
think sometimes and than when he's not there.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I love watching team I mean we don't watch kid shows.
We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney, bold ones that
may stop that stopped for us, that's actually happened.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah, And Also it's that moment where you realize that
they are their own person and and not that you
ever think that they're you're like possession. But when they're smaller,
they hold hand, You hold hands with them, walking across
the road, You hug them, you bath and whatever you do.
And then they get to a point obviously where it's
like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,
(15:24):
can have a hug? You know, you don't just go
in for the hug? Can I have a hug? And
nine nights out of ten it's like, oh, or it's
a cheek or it's okay, but can you put some
money in my spriggy? Or are we having sushi? Can
you not cook? I'll give you a hug. Like there's
this real like trade off.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And it's that thing where you go from being the
main character in their story to the driver.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently. And
as my mum said, as I said, she's here from
the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen, if he
didn't have the life that he had and his you know,
fishing and surfing and sport and school friends, and he
just wanted to spend twenty four to seven with me
(16:09):
watching watch that would also be concerning. So you know
that everything that they're doing touch Wood is on track
for life, but it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
As a parent. No, it's not.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Coming up.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
After this short break, Kath shares the moments she misses
and some of the last that you don't realize will
be your last until they go on.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I'm going to tissue for this take.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
That's next.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So Kath Mahony, we've just been talking about the pain
points of parenting teens and you know you're with a
son at age sixteen. You've only got two more years
until he's an actual grown up.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Which is just scar We're about to start driving lessons.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
It's very scary.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I wanted to sort of reflect and think back for
people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have
what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,
but what they're currently in. Sometimes you know, at the
end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing
that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,
(17:23):
and it's just like the little things that great you.
But when you're coming out the other side, how does
it feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the
last Oh.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
It's very sad. Fun I mean, it's funny you do
put your rose colored glasses on. You know. I did
think about pushing Leu on the swing the other day.
I was like, I never do that again. I mean,
I will, but he would be a big person on
the swing, and then I have to snap out of
it and go remember how much you hated the park,
especially as a solo parent. He hated that. Why the
(17:55):
other day, my boobs did this weird thing.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Did they tingle?
Speaker 4 (17:58):
They tingled? And I was like, oh my gosh. Breastfeeding.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
I have a breastfeed again.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
And again I'm like, why am I missing the soreness?
But it's kind of you. You don't know it's your
last you know, you don't know it's the last time
you're get to a breastfeed, if that was what you
chose to do. Until it's over. You don't realize that
it's going to be the last time that they want
to hold your hand, that they try to hold your
hand across the road. So it is. It is sad.
(18:26):
Things like I want to put Cars, the movie on
which was the bane of my life. Now I want
to watch Lightning McQueen. Yeah, love with Lou because we
but you know, on the millionths time, you were like,
I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like, I'd
love to just watch cars, but he won't watch anything anything,
not really, No.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day
for me. I love watching DV.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
With my kids.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Also, what what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,
kind of, it just goes so quickly. And you do
you just those those mornings when they wake you up
at five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait
till you're a teenager and you don't want to get
out of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I
miss that. I missing the stylist, oh right, and miss
(19:13):
being like in charge of the wardrobe and the hair.
That is really difficult to let go of because as
my mum did not like the way that I dressed
at sixteen, all my hairstyles, I'm feeling the sort of
same about Loo. Yeah. I liked when I could put
him in his little navy white stripe, and.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I like the little sailor.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I liked when I could be like, oh, could we
just have the peaky blinders kind of can we have
that kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool. Now
it's that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's
still hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go.
What do you think you'll miss?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I remember when you've got two and they're little, so
you've got like a little baby and a toddler, and
it's like that witching hour. And I remember like having
anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five o'clock
because I knew it was coming, because you've got to
do the bath and the dinner and then everyone's got
different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But now
(20:11):
I think just having them like giggling and gurgling in
a bath and playing with little toys, like how delightful.
But at the time it was the most stressful thing
in the universe ever.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
It was horrible. But I'm the same. I miss that
washing the hair, the toys that come on. You've been
in long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing
that you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's
like all going to be smacked down by seven.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, And I even just I loved because I had
quite a lot of time at home with babies and
on Matt leave, and I did freelancing, so I was
really lucky. I had a lot of time at home
and I loved. This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe
play like I loved, you know, making up pretend worlds
(21:01):
and doing vets and all of that silly stuff, or
just even just flying around toys to music. We used
to how to Train your Drag Drag was out cars,
and so we had all the drag and figurines and
we'd put the movie soundtrack on and just like run
around flying dragons, like, oh, it's so fun.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
It's hard, isn't it when it goes? And you also
know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,
so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,
you know again, being the chef, but going like this
is the option. There is no other option. You don't
even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be
eating this, yes, and being asked things mom, Mom, Like
that's now now, I'm like there.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Were snow anything because they just ask Siri. Yes, they
don't need to ask.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
They don't ask us anymore.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Siri is their new parent.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Now.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
I almost miss the car seat because I thought it
was strapped in the back, and then I thought, no,
I don't miss the car seat, and that sort of
point whether you're about to break you back, they're getting
a bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,
don't miss the prams.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
No, I definitely don't miss a pram.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to have
a handbag the size of a house with all of
the stuff in.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, do you I don't miss I've got it.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Are you still on that?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh, I've got a big hambag, but it's mostly full
of like makeup and do I don't like stuff for me?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and
nappy white and corn thins. O.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Kid's parties.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
I never thought I would miss kids parties.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Oh you do miss well?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
I miss the fact that you get to a point
where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah, so
that's you know, you go from I used to have
real trauma around the party and the cake and what
you're doing and the lolli bags, the activities. That was
always really stressful. Then you get to a point where
you can do the let's go bowling or pick four
friends or go to the movies, and then you get
(22:51):
to the point where it's like, can you just put
some money on my card? Mum? And Christmas? That would
be my last big miss Oh No, Christmas changes, doesn't
it when their thoughts around the big Man in Red change.
I don't know who's listening to this, so I don't
want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah, Ristmas. Christmas
when they would wake up at five and you would say,
(23:13):
we're not going downstairs to see if he's been for
another two hours now, it would be about eleven o'clock
and it's my birthday on Christmas, so I'm a bit like,
let's go, what do we got?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.
The breach has taken over.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Yes, and love's good when he's with Dad because they
have he's got a little sister, so he allows the
magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.
But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels and that that
feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to
watch any Christmas movie in the lead up or want
(23:54):
to put the tree up, or help with the tree,
or decorate the tree that I would then redecorate when
he went to.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Bed, because it's so bad every time.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
That was crushing as a Christmas person, that's probably that's
probably one of the things I miss the most.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Hallow, No, you've got how old are youngest?
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Ten?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
You've got, You've got a few years because they hang
on for a while because they don't want to admit
they're not sure in case the presents do stop.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it. Yeah,
love it.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
So for anyone listening, if you're waking up at five
am this coming Christmas, just remember kath Mahony will be.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
We'd love to join it because it's like I just
you get to do it. You forget. You don't realize
that you're going to miss all of these festivities.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about
the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the
egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa and.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
The tooth fairy. Yeah, when they get between fifty cents
and fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when
the tooth comes out. Yeah, there would be some of
the things I miss.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I hadn't thought about that, the rituals.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of the bits,
even the pushing of the swing in the park and
the premill even even knowing that the stuff in your
hair may or may not be regogitated food, and that
you didn't.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Eat the joy in the giggles of the bath, that
would be my thing, Like I wish I didn't dread
that so much, And I just really like lapped up
the magic and the joy of little babies playing in.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Water, so silly, silly and fun fun because they That's
another thing with teenager I guess their fun doesn't necessarily
involve you anymore. When they're little and they're joyful and fun,
you get to experience it when they're a bit older. Yeah,
you're not invited to the fun bit. Yeah, because you're
not the main character, not the main character. You are
(26:02):
the chef or the driver. Yeah, and you also have
all this what I've noticed about being a parent to
a tea is you hold on to things, you know,
Like if Lou's upset about a situation about not being
picked for something or sport, I will then have trauma
for like the next week, And then the next time
I mentioned it, he said, I can't know.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
I've moved on.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Yeah, he had a school dance. He's a bit taller now,
but he's quite little. A couple of years ago he
had a school dance. With it that he's in a
same sex school. They had a school dance and he
was quite upset because some of the girls wouldn't dance
with him and laugh because he was little. And I
mentioned it the other day. He's had a gross spurt
now he's getting quite tall, and I said, I said
I would still if I met those girls, I would
(26:44):
end to them. And Lewis was like, oh, Mom, I
can't even remember that. I lie in bed wondering who
they were, and you've let it go.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
So I think that's my other bit of advice. Yet,
don't fester on things. They seem to move through stuff
pretty quickly. Teages resilience, resilience, resilience and a spriggy card
spriggy card. Lewis has learnt now to say. He calls
how are you? How's your day? It's like he's reading
it for a card, like a Telly kind of callern
(27:17):
Can I have somebody in my card? Used to just
be can you put somebody on my sprigging? Now he
knows well enough to ask how I am. He's probably
got a little script he does, he does. I think
he also works for an electricity company. The other answer
in those numbers, you don't know. It's probably Lewis, how
are you?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
How's your day?
Speaker 4 (27:33):
You put somebody on my spree and try our electricity brand?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Right? Well, cathermoney, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,
I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about
embracing whatever stage you're at.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Really, I think so andre realizing that what you might
want is different to what you're actually going to get.
But as I said, I wouldn't want those to just
want to be hanging out with his mum at sixteen.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
No.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, but now I understand why.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group
of people, but you know that's just different.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And now I understand why my mum and my parents
are so insufferable with my kids because it's like that's
when you get to live it again.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Yes, grandkids and they really love the grandparents, don't.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
And you, And that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable
and clinging on to them because they know that they
one day also don't want.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
To borrow them.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
No, no, oh god, so much, so much sad stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Great, Thank you so much, Catherinoney, We love you and
thanks for coming on this glorious mess.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Oh tee, that was an emotion journey. Yeah she's so
but she's so funny. She is laugh but she got
me thinking, yeah, she could be thinking about like the
last that, Like I didn't really like that. My kids
are really six and seven. You know, it's not as
they're moving out or you know, yeah, but you don't
(29:01):
appreciate them. It's like that song you don't know till
it's gone. Literally life is a song. But like I
I know that I absolutely wished my kids baby days
away because I had three in a year and then
so I had three babies at one time and it
was a dead set logistical nightmare. So I literally woke
(29:23):
up every day going I can't wait till they're older,
or I can't wait till they're at school, or I
can't wait till they can walk. I can't wait till
they can get them pour themselves a cup of Jews.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I can't wait. I would like literally wished away the
goo goo gaga.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
But with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about
wishing those moments or that time away?
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Yeah, I do a little bit.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I know that I look at like photos and videos
of when especially the twins, like Lumbando too, but I
think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did get
to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but it
also it was mayhem. But I know that if like
I didn't have another one so close together after having
(30:05):
the twins, I would have probably been a lot more
relaxed and soaked it up a little bit more like
you know, having the twins and then you know, end
my time with Banjo in his time, you know what
I mean. I feel like I definitely wished it away,
and I just I look back at those videos of them,
you know, like when they're just starting to string words
(30:26):
together and sentence it and tiny little voice and they're
cute little walks, like they're they're like wattles and stuff
like that. Like I look at that now and like,
I don't know, maybe every mom does that, though yes,
oh definitely. I cannot look at a video of my
child being a toddler without going yeah, So maybe it's like, yeah,
maybe I'm not as regretful as I think I am.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Because you know, you only you only go into.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Whatever mode you're feeling at the time, right, which for
me was probably utter overwhelm. But even I look at
photos of like my kids twelve months ago and I'm.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Like, oh, look how tiny they were compared to now, Like,
they just grow up. They just grow up so bloody fast,
don't they.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, And it's true what they say that the days
are long, but the year are short, and that flyby
is my dead set motto. They are because my days
was so long and they're just as long now, but
the years are getting shorter and shorter and shorter.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
I think everyone would agree.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Well, thank you so much for listening to this glorious mess.
We hope you enjoyed the episode, and if you did,
we'd love it if you left a rating and a review.
This episode was produced by Tina Madalov with audio production
by Jacob Brown. See Yeah, I'll see you next time.
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