Introducing: I Never Told You This - Mary and Martha Kalifatidis

Introducing I Never Told You This: Two People. One big reveal. A simple card deck with questions. Some are light hearted, some deeper…and one that says ‘I Never Told You This’ - the chance for one person to share something they’ve never told the other before.In the first episode of 'I Never Told You This', Mary and Martha Kalifatidis chat about their all-too-relatable experience of protectiveness and anxiety as parents.If you want to continue to enjoy this series, it will be dropping every Thursday over at the But Are You Happy podcast.

Head to Medibank to learn more about the Family Roast card game that sparked the conversation.

The experiences shared and views expressed are those of the people featured and do not reflect the views of Medibank. This is not health advice. If you or someone you know needs help, you should always consult a trusted health professional. For further support and guidance, visit Medibank Mental Health. Or, if in need of immediate support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
I'm a Shiny Dante, host of But Are You Happy?
Did you know that one in five Australians experience and
mental health condition each year, Yet too many suffer in silence.
Talking about our feelings and experiences is one of the
most powerful steps towards healing and knowing we're not alone.
That's why we're introducing I Never Told You This, a

(00:40):
series created to spark honest, meaningful conversations that support better
mental well being, brought to you by Medibank.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to
do with it. Do you know how to deal with it?
I feel like we don't really know how to deal
with it. We just kind of get up and just
seize the day. It doesn't matter how you're feeling.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Soldier on Two People, One big reveal. I Never told
You This a simple card game where one question could
change everything.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
It starts Lily, what more things brings me joy? I'm
not going to answer for that.

Speaker 4 (01:09):
Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.
As they finished this sentence.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
I never told you this.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
I've never told you. They never told you this.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
Today Reality TV influences mother and daughter duo Mary and
Martha Califdidas will be sitting down together.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Quite nervous, but I'm always nervous.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
Mary has something big to reveal to her daughter.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
I don't think she's expecting me to say what I'm
going to say.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Welcome, Martha. Oh, thanks for having me Mary. This is
a bit new for us, I know. Welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
So today we're going to play a little game with
the Medibank family roast cards. Are you ready to play?

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yes, let's get into this game. I think we need
a little game.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
So who picks?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Here? You go for it? Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Are you ready? Oh? What is the most ridiculous fashion
trend you ever followed?

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Those thick fat belts that were like a boob trip
and we'd wear them over the jeans. That has to
be one of the ugliest things I ever did. I'm
five foot two and that made me four foot two.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
I probably told you, but you wouldn't probably listen.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Here we go. She had to throw that one in
my face.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Just saying kid, just saying.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
All right, so I'll pick a card. Oh, what is
something I do that grosses you out? I don't think
you do anything they do not. No, that's right, good answer, Mary.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
What about me?

Speaker 1 (02:30):
I don't because I can say so many things.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
I bring it to the table.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Cutting your cuticles.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, that's just like meditation.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
If you go and get that done and then you
like to do more and just keep cutting the cuticles,
it must be a nervous It's definitely a nervous habit. Okay,
I'll take that, all right, go next?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh is that me? What do you think your most
useless talent is?

Speaker 1 (02:54):
You've got plenty of those. I don't think I've got any.
I just there's no time for uselessness in our family.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
What about how you can you start singing every single
commercial song that's ever come on since like nineteen eighty
fifties from the Earth.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm going to pick the next card. I never told
you this. When you went on reality TV, all these
comments would come in on social media. It actually affected me,
but I didn't want to show you that it was

(03:32):
affecting me. All these comments that were coming in, and
I'd be staying up till three four in the morning,
and I didn't realize how toxic social media can be.
I didn't know as a parent how I can comfort you.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
No, I can totally understand how that would have affected you.
With the trolls on the internet, they think they know me,
but you really know me, and so you were reading
things that weren't true, and then that would be just
endless cycle.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Now you're a parent, and I'm sure you would probably
do the.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Same now that I'm a parent, I just want to
protect him from.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Everything I could only imagine. And that's why I didn't
want to burden you with I've got anxiety, I can't sleep,
I was I had shortness of breath, like I was thinking, mom,
don't yeah, but that's how it was.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I think to some degree I did have some idea,
because you did start acting really strange. I definitely think.
I know you were staying up really late looking at comments,
and I remember just being too like, don't worry about it, man,
like it's fine. But I think at the time I
didn't want to show you either that it was affecting me,
so I would just say oh to you, like it

(04:40):
doesn't matter, but really, like I would be in my
room staying up breathing the comments as well. So I
have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to do
with it. Do you know how to deal with it?
I feel like we don't really know how to deal
with it. We just kind of move on with the
day and just keep the day going. But doesn't mean
that the anxiety goes away.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
The rest of this episode of I never told you
this right after the.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Break thinking back. Should have just been more open and
told you, like, you know what, it's normal to feel
this way because I'm feeling this way.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah. I think if this had done that, we probably
would have been able to, you know, commune and pack
it and then just deal with it in the open
instead of dealing with it separately in our different rooms. Yeah,
but that's very That's very much what our family does,
though we're not very good at revealing, which is strange
because we're so open. That's about everything about movements and everything,

(05:37):
because we've brought up to be like quite hard and
like strong and tough body.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
No, you can't get over it, get up.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
And just seize the day. It doesn't matter how you're feeling.
Soldier on.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
When I was growing up, our parents were very strict.
They never showed emotion. They never you know, I.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Just find that hard to believe. Yeah, yeah, is like
the most softest, sweetest, gentlest, emotional, loving caring.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
It wasn't when we were growing up.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
I just find it hard to believe she was strict.
Get up. See what old age it really softens you,
breaks you down.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
With like searching and being like my own little detective.
I noticed that a lot of these comments weren't coming
from young kids that were just being mean. These were
from parents that had kids. How could you try and
destroy someone else's child. People want kids to be kind,
but they don't teach them the tools to be kind

(06:35):
and not to bring other people down, you know, like
kids are mean today.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
I hate that.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
I wish to learn that from somewhere.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. The parents are the
ones that need to actually change.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
I kind of feel a bit sad for you in
a way that you kind of dealt with that on
your own.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
That's what parents do, you know. They try to protect
I think their kids as much as they can. You know,
So if your son was dealing with anxiety, how would
you help him?

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Growing up? You always said those that matter mind and
those that mind don't matter. It doesn't really matter because
who are these people to you? As long as like
you know, you, your friends, your family, the people that
you care about, the opinions of others don't really matter.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
That's good. At least you've got something.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Something from all those years.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, it's not easy being a parent.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
It's so not it's the hardest thing ever. It's so
not easy being a parent. I appreciate it. Oh, thank you, Mary,
no worries any time. Yeah. And it's nice to know
that you're human under all that. Yeah, it's nice to
know that under all there there is actually some flesh
and blood. Well done, fish pump, Oh is that something

(07:52):
we do still?

Speaker 3 (07:59):
This episode was brought to you by Medibank. Live Better
with Medibank. If this conversation brought up any strong feelings
for you, don't forget there is help out there. Please
see show note for receources.