April 16, 2025 • 17 mins
On today's show, one parent admits to the cheeky Easter swap they use on their unsuspecting toddler, while another mum cringes at the unwanted present their child left in their in-laws pool...and we hear how a baby-chino caused a world of profane drama!
You can share your best worst parenting stories by leaving us a voice note, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au or for super shame super anonymous you can pop them in this form.
THE END BITS
WIN $10k to use towards a cleaner*
Visit nestlebabyandme.com.au/pausethechores to enter!
*Promotion starts between 24/03/25 (AEDT) – 31/07/25 (AEST). AU residents 18+. Max 1 entry p/person. Draw: Unit 3/2 Cross St, Brookvale NSW 2100 at 10am AEST on 05/08/25. Prize: $10,000 transferred to winner’s bank account. Winner notified and published on nestle.com.au/productnews/winners by 12/8/25. Claim prize by 5pm AEDT on 12/11/25. Unclaimed prize draw occurs 13/11/25. Promoter: Nestle Australia Ltd. Full T&Cs at www.nestlebabyandme.com.au/pausethechores. Permit No's: ACT TP 25/00355 & SA T25/260.
Head here to get a yearly subscription for just $39. and use the code MONTHOFTGM
We’re listening! Send us a voice message, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au
We’ve compiled all the best resources for new mums in a free newsletter. Join the mailing list.
Gift a Mamamia subscription: Head here to give the best stuff for women.
Tell us what you really think so we can give you more of what you really want. Fill out this survey and you’ll go in the running to win one of five $100 gift vouchers.
We’ve compiled all the best resources for new mums in a free newsletter. Join the mailing list.
CREDITS:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Parents anonymous.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello, and welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annalise Todd
and I'm out of intros. That's me done.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
You've run out. You're just Analise Todd. You could have
just gone Analise like Adele or Beyonce. That showed our age.
And I'm Stacey Hicks. I'm the deputy editor here at
Mamma Mia and this week I had nit thoughts and
prayers had had I'm itchy now.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I know you've kept a very wide berth from me today,
which I'm only slightly offended by.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm going nowhere near you for the next six months.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Every time you even look at me, I know, well,
how do you think I felt?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We've all been there.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Welcome to the class. Thank you, it's a rite of passage.
Happy to be.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Here, and welcome back to parents and where each week
you confess your deepest, darkest parenting secrets to us and
will make you feel.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Better about them. Yeah, because we love it. Because the
more honest you are about having a total parenting fail,
the better you make other parents feel. And by other parents,
I mean us, we love it, and so on and
so forth. We're just spreading the bad parenting joy and
the juicy here. Your confession is the more points you score,
so you won't lose either. There's no losers here. It's
(01:36):
a win win save space for you.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Losers are winners at parents and Honors, they are welcome, welcome,
And in each episode we will always give you one
of our mini confessions of the week, just so you
can feel very confident in the fact that you're among
friends and that we're not casting judgment because we also
can and should be judged.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, I definitely should stay hit me Look
mine is headlights related good this week? Of course on
brand first time we've had this in our family. First
is the worst.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yes, actually no, I reckon the twenty second time because
you're like, are you joking? Let's save our hair.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
They're back again. Yeah, And I think we're in for
a long road because my daughter is only four and
we've already got them.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
And I don't know if you know this, but there
are some heads and I might not be a scientist
or a knit specialist. But there are some I don't
know if it's a blood type or a scalp pH issue,
but some children attract them more. I have to say
my son is one of those. So I think we've
had them. I reckon, honestly, would be more than thirty times.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well, I think I'm in for the same fate because
as a kid that was me, very curly hair, a
lot of hair. It's always everywhere, and I always had them.
I always got them so badly.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
So you're going to be the nit family.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, the knit family love it well to deal with
the knits. The nits was bad enough. Just dealing with
the knits and getting rid of the knits. I berated
my husband into getting rid of my knits. So that
was a real high point for our marriage. Who really,
he's never been so attracted to me, and it's.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I hang on a second. He did the comb through.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I made him. He did not have a choice. He
had to do the comb through. Do you think I
could get through all this hair? No? I can't even
see all of it.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So I asked my girlfriends to do. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Well, it was desperate times. It was about ten o'clock
at night and it needed to be done. I felt
like they were everywhere because I saw one bug on her.
I instantly was like, they are everywhere on me, and
they breed on your scalp exactly. And I can't go
to bed with the knowledge that they are in there
just having a little nit party. I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
So the second he got home, he was delousing me.
That's a blow in the marriage, it really was. I
can't say that was a high point for us. But
my confession this week around the lice was having to
do it to my daughter's hair. She doesn't even like
me putting a bow in her hair on a good day.
She would rather be left to look like a feral
street child. So I knew that it was going to
(03:59):
take some real bargaining to get her to sit still.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
For me to do that, I let her eat a
whole packet of Easter eggs.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I just had to dole them out regular intervals, as
you know, a dangling carrot as it were a dangling egg,
a dangling egg, to make sure that I could get
all the nits out. It was so gross, like She's
there getting to have the time of her life while
I'm literally pulling bugs out of her hair. It was
just boul Did she get through the whole packet?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
No? Did she feel sick?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Probably because I had a few.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You needed sat in the process.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I really did all the stress, all the stress. So yeah,
I let my child have East Eggs for breakfast and
then Center after school, so they probably had a delightful
mood from her. That's absolutely fine. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You've got to do what you've got to do. It's
survivals exactly. It's Bear Girls type. Yeah, mcguiver.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I must admit I did find it a bit weirdly
satisfying after.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
It like ASMR.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, it was the reward every time you got another egg,
an egg at the eggs.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That's a great story.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
So that's mine.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
What did you do this week? Mine's just short and
sweet and confusing. It's bad. But with the confusion of
daylight savings changing, I still can't tell you if the
clocks went back or forward and what that meant, if
I've lost an hour or gained it. I can't tell
you what it's doing for my children. They are up earlier.
I know that that's correct, So they're up earlier. That's
all I know. But I'm very confused about the bedtime
(05:22):
and the first night that it had changed and it
was school the next day, I said, no, you guys
have got to stay up later. It's like and so
I basically put them to bed at like eleven pm.
I got so confused that they went to bed so
late for their body clocks and they were really tired. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Still, look, you know we chat for a living. We
yap math No, not as strong, not as strong Daylight
Savings definitely not our strong suit approved And fine, I
don't blame you for being confused.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I'm still confused. I'm still confused. So tight. So this
jow doesn't exist without your guilty confession. So leave us
a voice note or if you want full anonymity, you.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Did it, don't just say it right. We said it
clear rab clause.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Wow, I've never said that word properly. Actually, I'm crying.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
What is the moment such us? See, you might not
know our Daylight Savings works, but you can say anonymity wow.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, But if you would like that word, I don't
want to jinx it and try and say it again,
you can email us and we take great pride and
joy and pleasure in reading them out. So it's not
your voice for ours.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yes, yeah, because we love that. So I think we
love more than the sound of our own voices. And
on today's show, our mystery confessions, which we haven't heard yet,
we're hearing them for the first time with you are
called Easter swap. Theme sounds like me log in the pool.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh, I think we.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Know where that one's going and Baby Chino Drama.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Great confession one Easter swap. I didn't want my toddler
eating all of the chocolate she got in her plastic
eggs from the Easter egg hunt. Unlike Stacy Hicks, who
gave all the eggs to her child.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
There will be none from the East of Money. Unfortunately
that stock has been depleted.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
But she was so thrilled to be opening the eggs
and finding the surprises inside. So when she wasn't looking,
I took all the chocolate out and refilled the eggs
with a single blueberry or a single eminem and put
them all back in her bucket. She had a blast
going through each one and it turned out to be
a great morning activity for her, and I was happy
(07:28):
to eat her chocolate.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I mean, where's the confession? Are you a genius? So
when they're toddlers. They don't care. As long as they
get something out of the little plastic egg, they'll think
that it's amazing. And there is nothing a toddler loves
more than a blueberry.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So it was one of those plastic things that you
put together.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, that must have had the little solid eggs in it. Yum. Yeah,
Like why would you waste those on a toddler. You
definitely should be keeping them for yourself and a blueberry
that's healthy. That's spidermins coming expensive. I would argue they're
as expensive as Easter eggs now. I feel like they're
like five or six bucks upon it on par so
that is. But if you're only doing one in an egg, fine.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Maybe it was like a packet of frozen and blueberries
than thought. Oh that would have been if it's sad,
but that's more cost effect. Yea, I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's not really a confession because all you're doing is
just saving the toddlet from having too much sugar and
having save yourself from having them or f.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
After too Sure what the thought process was with the
single eminem. What's in an M and M or a chocolate?
It's chocolate, so that's tinier.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I guess, so less sugar overall, like if you're just
having a tiny, little lemanem But I would argue, like
you're getting away with blueberries, just keep going.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, but there's peanuts in the minem. That's protein. So
maybe an eminem is healthier than an eastery. Maybe we
should probably a fact check with a doctor or a nutritionists.
But I would say, given that there's a peanut and
less diameterical you're giving a.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Little toddler a peanut eminem might get caught. It is
a regular run of the mill, a little sad, little
tiny Yeah you barely taste it.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, okay, but the food coloring in the eminem.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Good, the red the red dye, isn't that enemy it
could be unhealthy, it's not bad.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I think it's like two eminem's, which I'm so perplexed about.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, I'm giving you like three punts of blueberries for
just having a smart swat well.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Done frozen then yeah, harmless confession to log in the pool.
I feel like this one it's.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Going to be a good one. I think swimming pool incident.
I had no nappies, so put my toddler in the
pool with underwear on. Yes, not my smartest moment, as
you can guess. Next thing I know, she's taken a
massive poop in the pool. It says, I'm lucky it
was only a log, but I did have to fish
(09:55):
it out of the water. Thankfully it wasn't a public pool.
It was my in laws pool. They were not very happy.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Honestly, if it was a public pool, I'd be like,
this is terrible. Have you ever been in a pool
when there's a Code Brown? About to say?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I have only a couple of months ago. It's like
a state emergency. It really was. My daughter and I
came down the slide and someone said to us, I'm
so sorry, get out, get out. You'll have to get
out Cod brown. And she said someone has done a
poo in the pool. And I jokingly said do you
call that a Code Brown? And she looked me dead
in the eyes and was like, yes, we do Code Brown.
(10:32):
Get out.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And they literally they have people running in. They've got
to drain the pool. There's crime scene.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Tape basically has matt suits, has mat suit.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
It's very very stressful and so embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So embarrassing for whoever's kid. It was, well, I'm assuming
it's a kid, So embarrassing for whoever's child it was.
But the worst part was they had a clear scooper,
so you could see the log being carried away, the
log of shame.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh my god, it never carried away.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
And my daughter was saying, I want to see the pooh.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Why don't they have a little doggie bag, you know,
like I know, or just make it opaque, like.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Just get any other color but clear. And also then
you're at risk of dropping it. I know, I think
it's fout.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
A dog bag would be in my feedback suggestion box
at that.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yes, okay, So embarrassment minimized here because it is the
in laws. Like, surely your in laws have annoyed you
at some point, and that's family.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And if you can't swim in like your grandchild's pooh,
then you've got issues. You can't shit and you're in
laws pool, and where can you in this life?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Exactly's the world come to?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I know? So I feel like, honestly, if my family
had a pool, which we don't, and my kids chat
in the pool, my mum would be like, oh, it's fine,
and she just scoomed out with her hand and can
carry going.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Oh, I do want to know how she fished it out,
because she does just say I fished it out, So
I don't know what method she is here a leaf sticks. Look,
it's not fun for you. I get that, So for that,
you definitely get bonus points from me. Yeah, what are
we scoring this because it's pretty embarrassing, But it's quite
minimized because it's just the in laws, and let's face it,
(12:22):
they have probably annoyed you at some point, so this
is just a little bit of payback for them.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
And I think that they get extra points with the
fact that the in laws weren't happy because that's family.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm giving this. Look, it's pretty bad embarrassment,
minimize five logs out of ten.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
I'm giving an extra point just because the in laws
shouldn't have been angry about it. Yeah, for that reason,
I'm going to go seven logs out. Okay, well, all right.
Confession number three Baby Chino Drama. My three year old
at the time was a very sweet, polite little girl.
(13:02):
We were at a shopping center and as I was
rushing to Woolli's, I pushed her pram past a cafe.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Cue her chance of.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Baby Chino Mummy baby Chino, Baby Chino. That's very annoying.
I feel triggered. As we entered the supermarket, I said,
I'll get you one after I buy a few things.
She replied with bullshit enunciated perfectly and loudly. We were
walking past about twenty people lining up to pay, and
(13:32):
all their heads whipped around at the sweet child's voice,
cursing at her mother. I was mortified and left the
shop speedily after that.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Oh, there's nothing funnier than a swearing baby.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I've said it once, I'll say it again. There's nothing funny.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
No, they're using it in the right way. Is like
even funnier.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yes, when they anger perfectly like that, because that's role modeled. Yes, yes,
I haven't picked that up on YouTube. No, she didn't
pull bullshit out of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
No, she said that at home. She has she has
in context. And I love that. It was like perfect,
There was no denying it. It was so perfectly enunciated
that twenty people turned around.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, epic, love it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Love that it wasn't me, But I also love it.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I don't think i'd be embarrassed by that. I think
I would struggle not to laugh. Would be my biggest
parenting issue. And I think that too, probably was my
biggest parenting issue raising toddlers when they swore, it was
just so funny.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, it is funny.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
And then when you give them a reaction, good or bad. Yeah,
they like attention, Yeah they do, so they go, oh,
stoll that one bullshit the next time, the next time.
Do you know? Actually, I saw this the other night
on episode of The Board Ones. The Youngest One, they
call the baby the youngest one. The baby's like not
even two, and she was walking along New York with
her seven kids, insufferable, and the baby was saying the
(14:54):
F word, just over and over again while strapped to Ilaria.
You've got to see the episode.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I think it was the F word. I think that's worse.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Oh yeah, that's definitely with the camera crew and like
literally being filmed. She's miked up, so the baby's on
the chair right near the mic. So that's worse.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You know what. I don't think we hear bullshit enough. Really,
it's a bit of a lost swear word.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Going to start bringing it back.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
It's a bit Retroeh love that for your baby. Twenty
people in a cafe hearing your child scream out that
word is pretty embarrassing. Funny, definitely funny for the twenty
people in the cafe, But it is embarrassing. And I
always give bonus points for that. When it's something that's
happening in public where a lot of people have seen
(15:40):
it, it does feel so much worse, so you just want
the ground to swallow you whole.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Public shame is a powerful tool.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
It is it is.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, I think definitely because of the public shame factor,
they just get empathy points.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
It's not even about.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Them being bad, No, it's just more sorry and thoughts
and prayers. And here's some extra points, ye for your trauma.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, I am giving you eight dollars out of ten
so that you can buy like one and a half
baby chinos.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
That's really generous. I think I'm also going to give
them eight dollars so that they can get three baby chinos?
Is that the mess? See?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
This is you the daylight savings again? I can't whatever
it is, baby chinos are on us. Yes, enjoy your
beautiful three year old will never be deprived again.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
And I think, well, then we are aligned. Thank goodness,
we are alive today.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yeah, we are because looking back at them swapping the
chocolate for the blueberries. Very good parenting.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
And we're still confused on that. But that is all confused.
And the log in the pool would be if that
was a public pool, wow, yeah, wow, you would. But
given it was the in laws and the fact that
like that shouldn't have been embarrassing. That's family familiar. You
know what goes on in the family, It stays in
the circle of trust.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Yes, thank you for telling it, thank you, thank you
for bringing us into the circle.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So really, on a public shame scale, yeah, and that's
the scale and the rating system of the day. The baby,
that's that's and that's bullshit.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
The bullshit baby Chino is the winner. And that brings
us to the end of this week's Parents Anonymous, but
Analyst will be back on Monday for another episode of
this Glorious Mess.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
And if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Please send us your secret shame and we will no
longer keep it a secret for you or The details
are in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
See you next time. By
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Parents anonymous.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello, and welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annalise Todd
and I'm out of intros. That's me done.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
You've run out. You're just Analise Todd. You could have
just gone Analise like Adele or Beyonce. That showed our age.
And I'm Stacey Hicks. I'm the deputy editor here at
Mamma Mia and this week I had nit thoughts and
prayers had had I'm itchy now.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I know you've kept a very wide berth from me today,
which I'm only slightly offended by.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm going nowhere near you for the next six months.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Every time you even look at me, I know, well,
how do you think I felt?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We've all been there.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Welcome to the class. Thank you, it's a rite of passage.
Happy to be.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Here, and welcome back to parents and where each week
you confess your deepest, darkest parenting secrets to us and
will make you feel.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Better about them. Yeah, because we love it. Because the
more honest you are about having a total parenting fail,
the better you make other parents feel. And by other parents,
I mean us, we love it, and so on and
so forth. We're just spreading the bad parenting joy and
the juicy here. Your confession is the more points you score,
so you won't lose either. There's no losers here. It's
(01:36):
a win win save space for you.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Losers are winners at parents and Honors, they are welcome, welcome,
And in each episode we will always give you one
of our mini confessions of the week, just so you
can feel very confident in the fact that you're among
friends and that we're not casting judgment because we also
can and should be judged.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, I definitely should stay hit me Look
mine is headlights related good this week? Of course on
brand first time we've had this in our family. First
is the worst.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yes, actually no, I reckon the twenty second time because
you're like, are you joking? Let's save our hair.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
They're back again. Yeah, And I think we're in for
a long road because my daughter is only four and
we've already got them.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
And I don't know if you know this, but there
are some heads and I might not be a scientist
or a knit specialist. But there are some I don't
know if it's a blood type or a scalp pH issue,
but some children attract them more. I have to say
my son is one of those. So I think we've
had them. I reckon, honestly, would be more than thirty times.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well, I think I'm in for the same fate because
as a kid that was me, very curly hair, a
lot of hair. It's always everywhere, and I always had them.
I always got them so badly.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
So you're going to be the nit family.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, the knit family love it well to deal with
the knits. The nits was bad enough. Just dealing with
the knits and getting rid of the knits. I berated
my husband into getting rid of my knits. So that
was a real high point for our marriage. Who really,
he's never been so attracted to me, and it's.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I hang on a second. He did the comb through.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I made him. He did not have a choice. He
had to do the comb through. Do you think I
could get through all this hair? No? I can't even
see all of it.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So I asked my girlfriends to do. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Well, it was desperate times. It was about ten o'clock
at night and it needed to be done. I felt
like they were everywhere because I saw one bug on her.
I instantly was like, they are everywhere on me, and
they breed on your scalp exactly. And I can't go
to bed with the knowledge that they are in there
just having a little nit party. I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
So the second he got home, he was delousing me.
That's a blow in the marriage, it really was. I
can't say that was a high point for us. But
my confession this week around the lice was having to
do it to my daughter's hair. She doesn't even like
me putting a bow in her hair on a good day.
She would rather be left to look like a feral
street child. So I knew that it was going to
(03:59):
take some real bargaining to get her to sit still.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
For me to do that, I let her eat a
whole packet of Easter eggs.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I just had to dole them out regular intervals, as
you know, a dangling carrot as it were a dangling egg,
a dangling egg, to make sure that I could get
all the nits out. It was so gross, like She's
there getting to have the time of her life while
I'm literally pulling bugs out of her hair. It was
just boul Did she get through the whole packet?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
No? Did she feel sick?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Probably because I had a few.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You needed sat in the process.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I really did all the stress, all the stress. So yeah,
I let my child have East Eggs for breakfast and
then Center after school, so they probably had a delightful
mood from her. That's absolutely fine. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You've got to do what you've got to do. It's
survivals exactly. It's Bear Girls type. Yeah, mcguiver.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I must admit I did find it a bit weirdly
satisfying after.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
It like ASMR.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, it was the reward every time you got another egg,
an egg at the eggs.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That's a great story.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
So that's mine.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
What did you do this week? Mine's just short and
sweet and confusing. It's bad. But with the confusion of
daylight savings changing, I still can't tell you if the
clocks went back or forward and what that meant, if
I've lost an hour or gained it. I can't tell
you what it's doing for my children. They are up earlier.
I know that that's correct, So they're up earlier. That's
all I know. But I'm very confused about the bedtime
(05:22):
and the first night that it had changed and it
was school the next day, I said, no, you guys
have got to stay up later. It's like and so
I basically put them to bed at like eleven pm.
I got so confused that they went to bed so
late for their body clocks and they were really tired. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Still, look, you know we chat for a living. We
yap math No, not as strong, not as strong Daylight
Savings definitely not our strong suit approved And fine, I
don't blame you for being confused.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I'm still confused. I'm still confused. So tight. So this
jow doesn't exist without your guilty confession. So leave us
a voice note or if you want full anonymity, you.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Did it, don't just say it right. We said it
clear rab clause.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Wow, I've never said that word properly. Actually, I'm crying.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
What is the moment such us? See, you might not
know our Daylight Savings works, but you can say anonymity wow.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, But if you would like that word, I don't
want to jinx it and try and say it again,
you can email us and we take great pride and
joy and pleasure in reading them out. So it's not
your voice for ours.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yes, yeah, because we love that. So I think we
love more than the sound of our own voices. And
on today's show, our mystery confessions, which we haven't heard yet,
we're hearing them for the first time with you are
called Easter swap. Theme sounds like me log in the pool.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh, I think we.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Know where that one's going and Baby Chino Drama.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Great confession one Easter swap. I didn't want my toddler
eating all of the chocolate she got in her plastic
eggs from the Easter egg hunt. Unlike Stacy Hicks, who
gave all the eggs to her child.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
There will be none from the East of Money. Unfortunately
that stock has been depleted.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
But she was so thrilled to be opening the eggs
and finding the surprises inside. So when she wasn't looking,
I took all the chocolate out and refilled the eggs
with a single blueberry or a single eminem and put
them all back in her bucket. She had a blast
going through each one and it turned out to be
a great morning activity for her, and I was happy
(07:28):
to eat her chocolate.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I mean, where's the confession? Are you a genius? So
when they're toddlers. They don't care. As long as they
get something out of the little plastic egg, they'll think
that it's amazing. And there is nothing a toddler loves
more than a blueberry.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So it was one of those plastic things that you
put together.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, that must have had the little solid eggs in it. Yum. Yeah,
Like why would you waste those on a toddler. You
definitely should be keeping them for yourself and a blueberry
that's healthy. That's spidermins coming expensive. I would argue they're
as expensive as Easter eggs now. I feel like they're
like five or six bucks upon it on par so
that is. But if you're only doing one in an egg, fine.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Maybe it was like a packet of frozen and blueberries
than thought. Oh that would have been if it's sad,
but that's more cost effect. Yea, I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's not really a confession because all you're doing is
just saving the toddlet from having too much sugar and
having save yourself from having them or f.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
After too Sure what the thought process was with the
single eminem. What's in an M and M or a chocolate?
It's chocolate, so that's tinier.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I guess, so less sugar overall, like if you're just
having a tiny, little lemanem But I would argue, like
you're getting away with blueberries, just keep going.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, but there's peanuts in the minem. That's protein. So
maybe an eminem is healthier than an eastery. Maybe we
should probably a fact check with a doctor or a nutritionists.
But I would say, given that there's a peanut and
less diameterical you're giving a.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Little toddler a peanut eminem might get caught. It is
a regular run of the mill, a little sad, little
tiny Yeah you barely taste it.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, okay, but the food coloring in the eminem.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Good, the red the red dye, isn't that enemy it
could be unhealthy, it's not bad.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I think it's like two eminem's, which I'm so perplexed about.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, I'm giving you like three punts of blueberries for
just having a smart swat well.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Done frozen then yeah, harmless confession to log in the pool.
I feel like this one it's.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Going to be a good one. I think swimming pool incident.
I had no nappies, so put my toddler in the
pool with underwear on. Yes, not my smartest moment, as
you can guess. Next thing I know, she's taken a
massive poop in the pool. It says, I'm lucky it
was only a log, but I did have to fish
(09:55):
it out of the water. Thankfully it wasn't a public pool.
It was my in laws pool. They were not very happy.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Honestly, if it was a public pool, I'd be like,
this is terrible. Have you ever been in a pool
when there's a Code Brown? About to say?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I have only a couple of months ago. It's like
a state emergency. It really was. My daughter and I
came down the slide and someone said to us, I'm
so sorry, get out, get out. You'll have to get
out Cod brown. And she said someone has done a
poo in the pool. And I jokingly said do you
call that a Code Brown? And she looked me dead
in the eyes and was like, yes, we do Code Brown.
(10:32):
Get out.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And they literally they have people running in. They've got
to drain the pool. There's crime scene.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Tape basically has matt suits, has mat suit.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
It's very very stressful and so embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So embarrassing for whoever's kid. It was, well, I'm assuming
it's a kid, So embarrassing for whoever's child it was.
But the worst part was they had a clear scooper,
so you could see the log being carried away, the
log of shame.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh my god, it never carried away.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
And my daughter was saying, I want to see the pooh.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Why don't they have a little doggie bag, you know,
like I know, or just make it opaque, like.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Just get any other color but clear. And also then
you're at risk of dropping it. I know, I think
it's fout.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
A dog bag would be in my feedback suggestion box
at that.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yes, okay, So embarrassment minimized here because it is the
in laws. Like, surely your in laws have annoyed you
at some point, and that's family.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And if you can't swim in like your grandchild's pooh,
then you've got issues. You can't shit and you're in
laws pool, and where can you in this life?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Exactly's the world come to?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I know? So I feel like, honestly, if my family
had a pool, which we don't, and my kids chat
in the pool, my mum would be like, oh, it's fine,
and she just scoomed out with her hand and can
carry going.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Oh, I do want to know how she fished it out,
because she does just say I fished it out, So
I don't know what method she is here a leaf sticks. Look,
it's not fun for you. I get that, So for that,
you definitely get bonus points from me. Yeah, what are
we scoring this because it's pretty embarrassing, But it's quite
minimized because it's just the in laws, and let's face it,
(12:22):
they have probably annoyed you at some point, so this
is just a little bit of payback for them.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
And I think that they get extra points with the
fact that the in laws weren't happy because that's family.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm giving this. Look, it's pretty bad embarrassment,
minimize five logs out of ten.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
I'm giving an extra point just because the in laws
shouldn't have been angry about it. Yeah, for that reason,
I'm going to go seven logs out. Okay, well, all right.
Confession number three Baby Chino Drama. My three year old
at the time was a very sweet, polite little girl.
(13:02):
We were at a shopping center and as I was
rushing to Woolli's, I pushed her pram past a cafe.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Cue her chance of.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Baby Chino Mummy baby Chino, Baby Chino. That's very annoying.
I feel triggered. As we entered the supermarket, I said,
I'll get you one after I buy a few things.
She replied with bullshit enunciated perfectly and loudly. We were
walking past about twenty people lining up to pay, and
(13:32):
all their heads whipped around at the sweet child's voice,
cursing at her mother. I was mortified and left the
shop speedily after that.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Oh, there's nothing funnier than a swearing baby.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I've said it once, I'll say it again. There's nothing funny.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
No, they're using it in the right way. Is like
even funnier.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yes, when they anger perfectly like that, because that's role modeled. Yes, yes,
I haven't picked that up on YouTube. No, she didn't
pull bullshit out of nowhere.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
No, she said that at home. She has she has
in context. And I love that. It was like perfect,
There was no denying it. It was so perfectly enunciated
that twenty people turned around.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, epic, love it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Love that it wasn't me, But I also love it.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I don't think i'd be embarrassed by that. I think
I would struggle not to laugh. Would be my biggest
parenting issue. And I think that too, probably was my
biggest parenting issue raising toddlers when they swore, it was
just so funny.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, it is funny.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
And then when you give them a reaction, good or bad. Yeah,
they like attention, Yeah they do, so they go, oh,
stoll that one bullshit the next time, the next time.
Do you know? Actually, I saw this the other night
on episode of The Board Ones. The Youngest One, they
call the baby the youngest one. The baby's like not
even two, and she was walking along New York with
her seven kids, insufferable, and the baby was saying the
(14:54):
F word, just over and over again while strapped to Ilaria.
You've got to see the episode.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I think it was the F word. I think that's worse.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Oh yeah, that's definitely with the camera crew and like
literally being filmed. She's miked up, so the baby's on
the chair right near the mic. So that's worse.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You know what. I don't think we hear bullshit enough. Really,
it's a bit of a lost swear word.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Going to start bringing it back.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
It's a bit Retroeh love that for your baby. Twenty
people in a cafe hearing your child scream out that
word is pretty embarrassing. Funny, definitely funny for the twenty
people in the cafe, But it is embarrassing. And I
always give bonus points for that. When it's something that's
happening in public where a lot of people have seen
(15:40):
it, it does feel so much worse, so you just want
the ground to swallow you whole.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Public shame is a powerful tool.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
It is it is.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, I think definitely because of the public shame factor,
they just get empathy points.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
It's not even about.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Them being bad, No, it's just more sorry and thoughts
and prayers. And here's some extra points, ye for your trauma.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, I am giving you eight dollars out of ten
so that you can buy like one and a half
baby chinos.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
That's really generous. I think I'm also going to give
them eight dollars so that they can get three baby chinos?
Is that the mess? See?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
This is you the daylight savings again? I can't whatever
it is, baby chinos are on us. Yes, enjoy your
beautiful three year old will never be deprived again.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
And I think, well, then we are aligned. Thank goodness,
we are alive today.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yeah, we are because looking back at them swapping the
chocolate for the blueberries. Very good parenting.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
And we're still confused on that. But that is all confused.
And the log in the pool would be if that
was a public pool, wow, yeah, wow, you would. But
given it was the in laws and the fact that
like that shouldn't have been embarrassing. That's family familiar. You
know what goes on in the family, It stays in
the circle of trust.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Yes, thank you for telling it, thank you, thank you
for bringing us into the circle.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So really, on a public shame scale, yeah, and that's
the scale and the rating system of the day. The baby,
that's that's and that's bullshit.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
The bullshit baby Chino is the winner. And that brings
us to the end of this week's Parents Anonymous, but
Analyst will be back on Monday for another episode of
this Glorious Mess.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
And if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Please send us your secret shame and we will no
longer keep it a secret for you or The details
are in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
See you next time. By
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com