March 19, 2025 • 18 mins
On today's show we hear how one parent is shamed for desperately dashing to get a donut while her son naps nearby, while another mum is outed for 'leaking', and we discover a surprising place to stash snacks that the kids won't ever think to look!
You can share your best worst parenting stories by leaving us a voice note, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au or for super shame super anonymous you can pop them in this form.
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CREDITS:
Hosts: Annaliese Todd & Stacey Hicks
Producer: Tina Matolov
Audio Producer: Lu Hill
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
On Parents Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome to this glorious mess.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'm Analyst Todd, single mother and Mimosa enthusiast, and I.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Am Stacey Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mamma Mia.
And if I could run on Margarita's all week long,
I would.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yes, same, yes, just the optics aren't good.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
They're not, they're not. We save that for the weekend.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Welcome back to Parents Anonymous, where we all feel better
about ourselves by sharing and delighting in the worst parenting
things we've ever done. And when I say weave, I
say you really, we mean you the worst things that
you've ever done.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We delight in the worst things you've done for trust us,
we have done them to so simply arguably worse. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
So Parents are Not an is like a mother's group
that's actually fun, where instead of pretending that we're all perfect,
we all just act like total messes together. It's a
lovely time.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
And after we read each confession, we'll give you a score.
And the worse the story is, the better your score
will be. So really the worse ah is that a word?
Worser it, the worser parent you are, the higher the scool.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes, so there are no losers, no impossible to lose
on this podcast exactly. Why wouldn't you love it? But
before we get to judging you each week, we allow
you to judge us. So we'll tell you a little
mini confession something from our week. Just say that you
know it's a safe space, you're among friends.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
And what have you got this week? Stacy.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Look, mine's not so much of a parent in confession
as it is a relationship confession.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I mean, this is just peeling back the layers of
the onion. We're opening the curtains, we're exposing, and I
am here for it.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
With popcorn, it's not that yo juicy. But this week
at my daughter's school, they send a little wrap up
of things they've done in the week. Very sweet. One
of the things they did with them was that they
had to write down, well, they didn't write down because
four year old's done. So the teachers wrote down for
them three things that they're grateful for.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Oh I like this gratitude. Gratitude yeah, doing gratitude with them.
They did a little picture and then the teachers wrote
the three things.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yes, guess what was at the top.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Mum Stacy Hicks grateful for mummy otherwise known as mummy. Next,
I would think, is it popcorn? Because I know you're
not meant to give a popcorn, but that was one
of your confessions that you gave a three year old
at the time.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Popcorn.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I did one time. She hasn't had it again since
it's fine. It's fine.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
The house, our house, that's security, home home. Yes, I'm
reading this.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, been grateful for your home. She has a home.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Body connection home safety. And number three number three the pool,
Oh the other half. Do you have a pool at
your house?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I live very far away, you know this. I live
in the middle of nowhere. You need a pool. You
need a pool to entertain yourself.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I've known you for how long now? Is it like
two years? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Maybe long card And I've just.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Learned today that you have a swimming pool in your house.
Will you travel that farther if I can sleep over years? Yes, Okay,
You're welcome. So it came over.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I love that. We just thought in autumn and I've
learned this.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I know, and not ideal time.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
The great came about this, Yes, is that she I
assume and I know that she has a father.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yes, she does. She has a wonderful father, a father
that she I thought until this very moment she loved
more than me.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
No, I thought you loved her dad the most.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Why it is a relationship confession is because, of course
my husband sent it to me and it was devastated.
I didn't even get a run. I'm not even in
the top three houses beat me.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
That's I mean fairly that I would have put that same.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
My confession is that I actually was really pumped by it.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I was like, yes, we actually talked about to this
on this gross mess this week.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It's called preferred parent syndrome.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, and we had doctor Gollye actually give advice because
what you did is probably not the right thing, but
there is something you can do to try and combat this.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
But you don't want to combat.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I want to combat it. I want to be the favorite,
my God, although actually I have to do every single
bedtime because I am a preferred parent the moment. It
used to be my husband once upon a time, from
two to three he was preferred now back to me, baby.
I think the amount of effort I have put him
with that child, I deserve to be at the top
of this. So sorry, honey, but I'm keeping my spot.
(04:46):
They say motherhood is a thankless job. No, you could
have it handwritten by a teacher on some little piece
of paper you can throw in a.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Draw written forever.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, all right, So what's your confession.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Look, it's not great. And when I say it's not great.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I didn't expect anything different.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
It's a great confession, but it's not a great parenting moment.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
And as we've discussed before that from five they develop
core memories at last for a lifetime.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
And I was, remember, this is a core memory.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Okay, Oh, no for my chi to do.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
So, I was.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
At a friend's house. I'd helped her move house. We
went over on a Friday evening. We got some pizzas,
had a little commune floor dinner.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Great core memory, very wholesome.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
My eldest son, who is about to turn thirteen, he
is at that age where he'll just go, oh, I'm
going to a friend's house now, and he has his
own little like splinter off cool guy, I know, which
is devastating. But I've still got one child who wants
to hang out with me, so it's fine. So he
came back from his mate's house a few hours later
and it was sort of time to go home.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
It was about eight thirty. You know, we've got sport
the next morning.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So we were wrapping things up and the nearly thirteen
year old turned to me and he said, are you
right to drive? And as it turns out, I wasn't.
So I said, nope, We're going to get a lift home. Yeah,
there's only ten minutes around. I could have gotten in
(06:14):
the car. That would be worse.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
That would be worse. You took the high road very
did there?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, And I never get in the car after having
minimum three drinks. That's just doesn't happen. But the worst
thing is just like are you right to drive? It
was like it was like he was my husband. I
was just like, what is going on? And the fact
that it's just like he knew to ask that.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Oh, So we've done a bit of self reflecting and
just spiraling a little bit about the impact that I'm
having and what they're observing and witnessing and the core memories.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Therefore, look, we did start off by talking about Margarite
as a mimosis, so maybe it is a bit of
a reflection on us.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
It's on brand.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
But you didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I didn't try.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You're teaching him responsible exactly, service exactly, absolutely fine, and
now let's get on to the real please, So this
show does not exist without your guilty confession, So please
leave us a voice note, or if you want to
be fully anonymous, you can email us and then of
course we will read it out so it's not your voice.
(07:22):
So and thank you to the people who continue to
send them in. They bring us so much choice.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
My favorite part of the week us feel better about
moments like are you right to drive? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
And me being happy that my husband wasn't valued by
my daughter. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
And on today's show, our mystery confessions are called donut drama,
sprung a leak. Oh okay, listen, mind boggles, and spicy
snacks stasher.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Let's go and say that three times fast.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Okay, I'm up first, all right, Confession one donut drama.
I'd had one of those days with my ten month old.
He'd had a shocking sleep overnight. We're talking four hours total.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
My prayers remember it well.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Then woke up cranky, but refused to nap all day.
But that happens, isn't it when they're overtired. It's like
a It escalates.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
It makes no sense.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
It doesn't just be MODI to sleep like I would
need a nap at that, Yes, but he refused to
nap all day.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I tried taking.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Him for a pram, nap, rocking him, oh, feeding him
to sleep, but he was not having any of it.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
The hysterics were mounting, so.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
By the time three pm rolled around, I was desperate.
I popped him in the car and lo and behold.
Ten minutes later, he was out like a light. I
thanked my lucky stars and decided to pull up beside
a cafe, run in and grab a doughnut for fuel
while he peacefully slept in the car.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
On there this is you're not youreay to go.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Meant to baby's gus, not meant to leave babies in gus.
That's the first note. I made sure the air con
was on and I could clearly see him from the cafe,
But when I returned to the car not even thirty
seconds later, I was horrified to see a woman opening
the car door and trying to take him. Oh, she
(09:11):
righteously said, this baby is being neglected. But I was
only gone thirty seconds and could see him the whole time.
Does my need for a donut after him an impossible
day make me a bad parent? No, it doesn't make
you a bad It doesn't make you a bad the law.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
If we just sort of take it.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Back to the law, you're not meant to do this.
I think that's an important caveat. Look, you're not meant
to do this. Lots of people do things you're not
meant to do. I'm not meant to jay walk across
the street. I do that pretty much every day. Yes,
some rules are meant to be bent. And that's a
lot coming from me because I am very highly strung
and a very strong rule follower. But I will admit,
(09:54):
in the spirit of this, I have left my baby
in the car to do this.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
As well, not to sit. I haven't sat in the cafe,
but I've done the quick run in and pay for
the petrol. I have done that before.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
By the letter of the law, is not recommended or advice.
She could see the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
The air con was on, But the air con being on,
does that mean the keys are in the cart.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah, so it's lucky that this was a concerned citizen
and not a kidnapper.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Look, this woman's taking it a bit far. The baby's
not being neglected, the baby's sleeping peacefully, the baby's not upset.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
This is one of the most awkward things. Like I
don't feel embarrassment or awkwardness, but this I would feel horrified.
But then also, do you know what my first thought was?
Did she wake the baby because he's finally asleep. Yeah,
I would be going, don't make the baby. You can
call docs, but just shut it up over there, baby sleep.
(10:51):
Call the police, but we just need to get this
baby a sleep. Bring the police, but tell them to
be quiet. Sirens, Oh, sirens off the flashing lights only.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I've got follow up questions because I want to know,
like how did it resolve? Did she walk off?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Is there an argument? Did the baby stay asleep? Yeah,
Li's are all questions.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I have mostly the baby being asleep because as
someone whose baby did not sleep the most important. I
would have taken this woman out before I let her
wake my baby. Yeah, like she does not transfer, don't
you dare take her out of that car seat. So
what are we scoring for the embarrassment of it? I
(11:29):
just like I would want to die. I'm so thankful
for you for telling us this because it does make
me feel better about Mars. Aren't questionable moments, So for that,
because it does make my skin crawl thinking about that
part of it, even though I don't think you did
anything wrong. Just for the record, I'm going to give
you nine donuts out of ten. Dull.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, I'm going to go embarrassing eight point five strangers
trying to steal your baby from your car.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
It's so awkward. Moving on confession to sprung a leak stace, Yes,
hit me.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
So.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Teaching body parts to our six month old and two
year old while lying on the floor, the baby got
a little over excited to point at mum's nose and
shoved her whole fat sausage finger into the depths of
my sinus.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Gross.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Honestly, they are really painful with their little fingers and
their little pointy elbows. They can hurt you in ways
they don't realize. As soon as I sat up, blood
started rushing down my face. Both kids had a look
of horror, so I tried to calm them by saying,
Mummy's just sprung a leak. After I spent about ten
minutes putting myself back together, I came back into the
(12:39):
room and my oldest piped up, are you done leaking?
We've since seen kids tumble at playgrounds and my oldest
still asks are you leaking? My mummy leaks? Ah, that
makes me think of light blader leakage. That she's saying,
Mummy wheeze herself.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's true, that's what she's telling she's had two kids exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
It's likely.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Oh, I still can't go on a trampoline to this day.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I can go on a trampoline, but it's the uncontrollable
fits of laughter which you've witnessed, that I have.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Bring a leak there.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yes, if anyone sees Ane, Lisa and I laughing in
the office, it's legs crossed by both of us in
an and over half squat physician.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, do not unclenched.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
And we are funny so that it happens a lot.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Actually really does.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yes, everyone at the playground thinks you have light blood leakage.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Now I don't think this is a bad parenting moment.
She she them from trauma.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, because it's pretty confronting. Even if it's a little bit,
it looks like a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
This is going to get a low scool because it's
not a bad parenting. No, it's just funny.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, it is funny, and they really do know how
to hurt you in these ways.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I'm just gonna have to give you two tampons out
of ten for the nose.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yes, same for me, two tampons out of ten. Pretty harmless. Yeah, yeah,
well done.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
All right.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Confession number three spicy snack stasher. I have a snack
based confession. Well, it's actually in two parts. My toddler
is a savage when it comes to snacking and will
snatch things straight out of my hand and shove them
in his mouth before I've even.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Had a chance to have a nibble. That's just selfish.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
So my new trick is, any time I want to
eat a snack in peace, I tell him it's spicy
and he won't like it. Yes, I also keep an
empty box of tampons and put my snacks in there
so he won't break in and steal my stash. Ah,
this is I haven't heard that one. Am I a
bad mum for not sharing my snacks? No, can I
(14:40):
get a hell no, hell no, say aloud over the
people at the back.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
No, absolutely not. You have to go to whatever means
necessary to protect your snacks.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
They get enough snacks.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
They take your youth, your sleep, you're personal.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Say out of your skin, yes, that too, or lots
of areas of skin, Yes, lots of areas sag as
we've famously spoken about.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
On this show. And then also the leaking was because
of the children.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, exactly. They take so much from you. They will
not take your snacks. They are yours and yours a lot.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So the spicy thing, that's an oldie.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, the tailor is old as time. Yes, I definitely
use that. Did you I know because remember no care
memories this time.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So judging for me being inauthentic with my child and
telling these little lies little do I know you were
doing it?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I definitely did the spicy snack lies. But the hiding
them in a tampon box, that's genius.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
When you say you're hiding them in a tampon box,
are you shopping at Costco little snacks sultanas?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Like I'm imagining like a big box.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And I'm imagining little teeny tiny snacks.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
What are you fitting in there?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Peanuts?
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Oh it's a blame. No, one's like some corn chips somewhere.
You only fit one and a half in a tampon box.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
They must be teeny tiny little sea Yeah okay, well
maybe they're lollies.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That's clever. I really like that. Or you should just
commit even more to that by snacks. You know they'll
hate like big packets of like healthy.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Scarby ps and then your bear because they actually are spicy,
and give it a try and they'll never ever ask again.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
And then you can fill that packet with the good
snacks and they'll know.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You can fit more snacks into the wasabip packets than
you could the tampon box.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Don't slum up with the little tampon boxes. Think big.
You get a family size share pack of wasabip.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yes, that's a fad learning chip and trick, confessional.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Tricks and hacks with us.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
This is not a bad parent.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Circling back to our scoring system, we have to just
really give them. I would say one wassabip out of ten.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, well I'm going to give you three family sized
packs of wasabip, so you've got lots of options. For
whacks and some hot tips for next time.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
We need to really go back and think about I'm
pretty sure we've got a clear winner, but I'm just
now Oh, yes, okay, it was the donut leaving the baby.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yes, So leaving the baby in the car to have
the donut not great.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
It's not going as we've discussed. You're not actually meant
to do this.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
No, but we stand with you in solidarity. Yes, you
needed that alone time. You have to take it where
you can get it.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Especially when your parents are gir own and some fuel
because you have no sleep and you need it a dont.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yes, and you were about to go into witching hour.
You needed that time alone. But for the fact that
a stranger got involved, that's where it gets embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I love it, we love it. I love it based
on our system. You are the winner. The winner, you
are and I you never seen that woman again.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Oh imagine if she turns up on like the first
day of preschool and there she is. She runs the
daycare center.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Oh so that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
You've got to go further away when you're leaving your
baby in the car. You don't shit where you eat
because you turn up well, that brings.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Us to the end of this week's Parents Anonymous, but
anelyis We'll be back on Monday for another episode of
this glorious mess.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Please send us your secret shame. All the details are
in the show a season.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Bye.
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
On Parents Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome to this glorious mess.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'm Analyst Todd, single mother and Mimosa enthusiast, and I.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Am Stacey Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mamma Mia.
And if I could run on Margarita's all week long,
I would.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yes, same, yes, just the optics aren't good.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
They're not, they're not. We save that for the weekend.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Welcome back to Parents Anonymous, where we all feel better
about ourselves by sharing and delighting in the worst parenting
things we've ever done. And when I say weave, I
say you really, we mean you the worst things that
you've ever done.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We delight in the worst things you've done for trust us,
we have done them to so simply arguably worse. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
So Parents are Not an is like a mother's group
that's actually fun, where instead of pretending that we're all perfect,
we all just act like total messes together. It's a
lovely time.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
And after we read each confession, we'll give you a score.
And the worse the story is, the better your score
will be. So really the worse ah is that a word?
Worser it, the worser parent you are, the higher the scool.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes, so there are no losers, no impossible to lose
on this podcast exactly. Why wouldn't you love it? But
before we get to judging you each week, we allow
you to judge us. So we'll tell you a little
mini confession something from our week. Just say that you
know it's a safe space, you're among friends.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
And what have you got this week? Stacy.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Look, mine's not so much of a parent in confession
as it is a relationship confession.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I mean, this is just peeling back the layers of
the onion. We're opening the curtains, we're exposing, and I
am here for it.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
With popcorn, it's not that yo juicy. But this week
at my daughter's school, they send a little wrap up
of things they've done in the week. Very sweet. One
of the things they did with them was that they
had to write down, well, they didn't write down because
four year old's done. So the teachers wrote down for
them three things that they're grateful for.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Oh I like this gratitude. Gratitude yeah, doing gratitude with them.
They did a little picture and then the teachers wrote
the three things.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yes, guess what was at the top.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Mum Stacy Hicks grateful for mummy otherwise known as mummy. Next,
I would think, is it popcorn? Because I know you're
not meant to give a popcorn, but that was one
of your confessions that you gave a three year old
at the time.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Popcorn.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I did one time. She hasn't had it again since
it's fine. It's fine.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
The house, our house, that's security, home home. Yes, I'm
reading this.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, been grateful for your home. She has a home.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Body connection home safety. And number three number three the pool,
Oh the other half. Do you have a pool at
your house?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I live very far away, you know this. I live
in the middle of nowhere. You need a pool. You
need a pool to entertain yourself.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
I've known you for how long now? Is it like
two years? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Maybe long card And I've just.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Learned today that you have a swimming pool in your house.
Will you travel that farther if I can sleep over years? Yes, Okay,
You're welcome. So it came over.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I love that. We just thought in autumn and I've
learned this.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I know, and not ideal time.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
The great came about this, Yes, is that she I
assume and I know that she has a father.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yes, she does. She has a wonderful father, a father
that she I thought until this very moment she loved
more than me.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
No, I thought you loved her dad the most.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Why it is a relationship confession is because, of course
my husband sent it to me and it was devastated.
I didn't even get a run. I'm not even in
the top three houses beat me.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
That's I mean fairly that I would have put that same.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
My confession is that I actually was really pumped by it.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I was like, yes, we actually talked about to this
on this gross mess this week.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It's called preferred parent syndrome.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yes, and we had doctor Gollye actually give advice because
what you did is probably not the right thing, but
there is something you can do to try and combat this.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
But you don't want to combat.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I want to combat it. I want to be the favorite,
my God, although actually I have to do every single
bedtime because I am a preferred parent the moment. It
used to be my husband once upon a time, from
two to three he was preferred now back to me, baby.
I think the amount of effort I have put him
with that child, I deserve to be at the top
of this. So sorry, honey, but I'm keeping my spot.
(04:46):
They say motherhood is a thankless job. No, you could
have it handwritten by a teacher on some little piece
of paper you can throw in a.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Draw written forever.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, all right, So what's your confession.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Look, it's not great. And when I say it's not great.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I didn't expect anything different.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
It's a great confession, but it's not a great parenting moment.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
And as we've discussed before that from five they develop
core memories at last for a lifetime.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
And I was, remember, this is a core memory.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Okay, Oh, no for my chi to do.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
So, I was.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
At a friend's house. I'd helped her move house. We
went over on a Friday evening. We got some pizzas,
had a little commune floor dinner.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Great core memory, very wholesome.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
My eldest son, who is about to turn thirteen, he
is at that age where he'll just go, oh, I'm
going to a friend's house now, and he has his
own little like splinter off cool guy, I know, which
is devastating. But I've still got one child who wants
to hang out with me, so it's fine. So he
came back from his mate's house a few hours later
and it was sort of time to go home.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
It was about eight thirty. You know, we've got sport
the next morning.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So we were wrapping things up and the nearly thirteen
year old turned to me and he said, are you
right to drive? And as it turns out, I wasn't.
So I said, nope, We're going to get a lift home. Yeah,
there's only ten minutes around. I could have gotten in
(06:14):
the car. That would be worse.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
That would be worse. You took the high road very
did there?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, And I never get in the car after having
minimum three drinks. That's just doesn't happen. But the worst
thing is just like are you right to drive? It
was like it was like he was my husband. I
was just like, what is going on? And the fact
that it's just like he knew to ask that.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Oh, So we've done a bit of self reflecting and
just spiraling a little bit about the impact that I'm
having and what they're observing and witnessing and the core memories.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Therefore, look, we did start off by talking about Margarite
as a mimosis, so maybe it is a bit of
a reflection on us.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
It's on brand.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
But you didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I didn't try.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You're teaching him responsible exactly, service exactly, absolutely fine, and
now let's get on to the real please, So this
show does not exist without your guilty confession, So please
leave us a voice note, or if you want to
be fully anonymous, you can email us and then of
course we will read it out so it's not your voice.
(07:22):
So and thank you to the people who continue to
send them in. They bring us so much choice.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
My favorite part of the week us feel better about
moments like are you right to drive? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
And me being happy that my husband wasn't valued by
my daughter. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
And on today's show, our mystery confessions are called donut drama,
sprung a leak. Oh okay, listen, mind boggles, and spicy
snacks stasher.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Let's go and say that three times fast.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Okay, I'm up first, all right, Confession one donut drama.
I'd had one of those days with my ten month old.
He'd had a shocking sleep overnight. We're talking four hours total.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
My prayers remember it well.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Then woke up cranky, but refused to nap all day.
But that happens, isn't it when they're overtired. It's like
a It escalates.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
It makes no sense.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
It doesn't just be MODI to sleep like I would
need a nap at that, Yes, but he refused to
nap all day.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I tried taking.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Him for a pram, nap, rocking him, oh, feeding him
to sleep, but he was not having any of it.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
The hysterics were mounting, so.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
By the time three pm rolled around, I was desperate.
I popped him in the car and lo and behold.
Ten minutes later, he was out like a light. I
thanked my lucky stars and decided to pull up beside
a cafe, run in and grab a doughnut for fuel
while he peacefully slept in the car.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
On there this is you're not youreay to go.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Meant to baby's gus, not meant to leave babies in gus.
That's the first note. I made sure the air con
was on and I could clearly see him from the cafe,
But when I returned to the car not even thirty
seconds later, I was horrified to see a woman opening
the car door and trying to take him. Oh, she
(09:11):
righteously said, this baby is being neglected. But I was
only gone thirty seconds and could see him the whole time.
Does my need for a donut after him an impossible
day make me a bad parent? No, it doesn't make
you a bad It doesn't make you a bad the law.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
If we just sort of take it.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Back to the law, you're not meant to do this.
I think that's an important caveat. Look, you're not meant
to do this. Lots of people do things you're not
meant to do. I'm not meant to jay walk across
the street. I do that pretty much every day. Yes,
some rules are meant to be bent. And that's a
lot coming from me because I am very highly strung
and a very strong rule follower. But I will admit,
(09:54):
in the spirit of this, I have left my baby
in the car to do this.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
As well, not to sit. I haven't sat in the cafe,
but I've done the quick run in and pay for
the petrol. I have done that before.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
By the letter of the law, is not recommended or advice.
She could see the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
The air con was on, But the air con being on,
does that mean the keys are in the cart.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah, so it's lucky that this was a concerned citizen
and not a kidnapper.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Look, this woman's taking it a bit far. The baby's
not being neglected, the baby's sleeping peacefully, the baby's not upset.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
This is one of the most awkward things. Like I
don't feel embarrassment or awkwardness, but this I would feel horrified.
But then also, do you know what my first thought was?
Did she wake the baby because he's finally asleep. Yeah,
I would be going, don't make the baby. You can
call docs, but just shut it up over there, baby sleep.
(10:51):
Call the police, but we just need to get this
baby a sleep. Bring the police, but tell them to
be quiet. Sirens, Oh, sirens off the flashing lights only.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I've got follow up questions because I want to know,
like how did it resolve? Did she walk off?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Is there an argument? Did the baby stay asleep? Yeah,
Li's are all questions.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I have mostly the baby being asleep because as
someone whose baby did not sleep the most important. I
would have taken this woman out before I let her
wake my baby. Yeah, like she does not transfer, don't
you dare take her out of that car seat. So
what are we scoring for the embarrassment of it? I
(11:29):
just like I would want to die. I'm so thankful
for you for telling us this because it does make
me feel better about Mars. Aren't questionable moments, So for that,
because it does make my skin crawl thinking about that
part of it, even though I don't think you did
anything wrong. Just for the record, I'm going to give
you nine donuts out of ten. Dull.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, I'm going to go embarrassing eight point five strangers
trying to steal your baby from your car.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
It's so awkward. Moving on confession to sprung a leak stace, Yes,
hit me.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
So.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Teaching body parts to our six month old and two
year old while lying on the floor, the baby got
a little over excited to point at mum's nose and
shoved her whole fat sausage finger into the depths of
my sinus.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Gross.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Honestly, they are really painful with their little fingers and
their little pointy elbows. They can hurt you in ways
they don't realize. As soon as I sat up, blood
started rushing down my face. Both kids had a look
of horror, so I tried to calm them by saying,
Mummy's just sprung a leak. After I spent about ten
minutes putting myself back together, I came back into the
(12:39):
room and my oldest piped up, are you done leaking?
We've since seen kids tumble at playgrounds and my oldest
still asks are you leaking? My mummy leaks? Ah, that
makes me think of light blader leakage. That she's saying,
Mummy wheeze herself.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's true, that's what she's telling she's had two kids exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
It's likely.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Oh, I still can't go on a trampoline to this day.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I can go on a trampoline, but it's the uncontrollable
fits of laughter which you've witnessed, that I have.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Bring a leak there.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yes, if anyone sees Ane, Lisa and I laughing in
the office, it's legs crossed by both of us in
an and over half squat physician.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, do not unclenched.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
And we are funny so that it happens a lot.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Actually really does.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yes, everyone at the playground thinks you have light blood leakage.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Now I don't think this is a bad parenting moment.
She she them from trauma.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, because it's pretty confronting. Even if it's a little bit,
it looks like a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
This is going to get a low scool because it's
not a bad parenting. No, it's just funny.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, it is funny, and they really do know how
to hurt you in these ways.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I'm just gonna have to give you two tampons out
of ten for the nose.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yes, same for me, two tampons out of ten. Pretty harmless. Yeah, yeah,
well done.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
All right.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Confession number three spicy snack stasher. I have a snack
based confession. Well, it's actually in two parts. My toddler
is a savage when it comes to snacking and will
snatch things straight out of my hand and shove them
in his mouth before I've even.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Had a chance to have a nibble. That's just selfish.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
So my new trick is, any time I want to
eat a snack in peace, I tell him it's spicy
and he won't like it. Yes, I also keep an
empty box of tampons and put my snacks in there
so he won't break in and steal my stash. Ah,
this is I haven't heard that one. Am I a
bad mum for not sharing my snacks? No, can I
(14:40):
get a hell no, hell no, say aloud over the
people at the back.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
No, absolutely not. You have to go to whatever means
necessary to protect your snacks.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
They get enough snacks.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
They take your youth, your sleep, you're personal.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Say out of your skin, yes, that too, or lots
of areas of skin, Yes, lots of areas sag as
we've famously spoken about.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
On this show. And then also the leaking was because
of the children.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, exactly. They take so much from you. They will
not take your snacks. They are yours and yours a lot.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So the spicy thing, that's an oldie.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, the tailor is old as time. Yes, I definitely
use that. Did you I know because remember no care
memories this time.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So judging for me being inauthentic with my child and
telling these little lies little do I know you were
doing it?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I definitely did the spicy snack lies. But the hiding
them in a tampon box, that's genius.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
When you say you're hiding them in a tampon box,
are you shopping at Costco little snacks sultanas?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Like I'm imagining like a big box.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And I'm imagining little teeny tiny snacks.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
What are you fitting in there?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Peanuts?
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Oh it's a blame. No, one's like some corn chips somewhere.
You only fit one and a half in a tampon box.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
They must be teeny tiny little sea Yeah okay, well
maybe they're lollies.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That's clever. I really like that. Or you should just
commit even more to that by snacks. You know they'll
hate like big packets of like healthy.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Scarby ps and then your bear because they actually are spicy,
and give it a try and they'll never ever ask again.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
And then you can fill that packet with the good
snacks and they'll know.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You can fit more snacks into the wasabip packets than
you could the tampon box.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Don't slum up with the little tampon boxes. Think big.
You get a family size share pack of wasabip.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yes, that's a fad learning chip and trick, confessional.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Tricks and hacks with us.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
This is not a bad parent.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Circling back to our scoring system, we have to just
really give them. I would say one wassabip out of ten.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, well I'm going to give you three family sized
packs of wasabip, so you've got lots of options. For
whacks and some hot tips for next time.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
We need to really go back and think about I'm
pretty sure we've got a clear winner, but I'm just
now Oh, yes, okay, it was the donut leaving the baby.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yes, So leaving the baby in the car to have
the donut not great.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
It's not going as we've discussed. You're not actually meant
to do this.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
No, but we stand with you in solidarity. Yes, you
needed that alone time. You have to take it where
you can get it.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Especially when your parents are gir own and some fuel
because you have no sleep and you need it a dont.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yes, and you were about to go into witching hour.
You needed that time alone. But for the fact that
a stranger got involved, that's where it gets embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I love it, we love it. I love it based
on our system. You are the winner. The winner, you
are and I you never seen that woman again.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Oh imagine if she turns up on like the first
day of preschool and there she is. She runs the
daycare center.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Oh so that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
You've got to go further away when you're leaving your
baby in the car. You don't shit where you eat
because you turn up well, that brings.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Us to the end of this week's Parents Anonymous, but
anelyis We'll be back on Monday for another episode of
this glorious mess.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Please send us your secret shame. All the details are
in the show a season.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Bye.
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