March 5, 2025 • 22 mins
On today's show we hear how one parent resorted to squashing a unicorn to get some peace, while another Mum wonders if her child will always be boring. And is it a parenting faux pas to throw out trash that your toddler thinks is treasure?
You can share your best worst parenting stories by leaving us a voice note, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au or for super shame super anonymous you can pop them in this form.
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CREDITS:
Hosts: Annaliese Todd & Stacey Hicks
Producer: Tina Matolov
Audio Producer: Jacob Round
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to Amma mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Parent's Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annaly's Todd.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm a single parent, self confessed accidental hot mess, but
a work in progress as I live and breathe.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
You're doing well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Well, you're trying, You're trying. I'm Staisy Hicks. I'm the
deputy editor at MoMA Maya and I currently have what
looks like some sort of flesh eating bacteria on my face.
So I am very glad that this is an audio
medium today.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
And look, I do have sympathy and care to your faith.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
You haven't shown it, but.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I just want to get the elephant in the room
and pay attention to it.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What did you call me? No?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Seriously? Is it contagious?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
No? No, I've been assured by the doctor. Not contagious.
Looks like shingles, but not.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Great, excellent, just stunning for me. Thoughts and prayer and
fears for Stacey Hicks. Welcome back to Parents Anonymous. Each
week you confess your deepest, darkest parenting secrets to us
and shame, Release that shame, release that burden, and will
make you feel better about them.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yes, it is truly one of the joys of our
life to hear that you're all as hopeless as we
are yes doing this parenting thing, So please keep them
coming because you guys have had some doozies. And in
each episode we always give you one of our mini
confessions of the week because we don't want to sit
up on our judge mcjudge face high and mighty mountain.
(01:54):
Oh no, we couldn't casting judgment down on you from
up high, so we will get low with you now.
Mine this week is not that bad to me. I
think our listeners will think I'm awesome for doing this,
but I know that you won't like it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Good four inauthenticity. Yes, the inauthenticity or favorite word. So
my daughter turned four last week.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh happy by exciting, But my husband was going to
be away thought day it was on a Friday. That
didn't suit us. No, so we just pretended her birthday
was the previous Saturday because that worked best for us.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Didn't you pretend that Christmas was a different day as well?
We did.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
No, No, we didn't pretend that Christmas was a different day.
We told her that Santa was doing an express delivery
on one of her parcels, which was the trampoline, because
he couldn't possibly fit that on the sleigh with everything else,
so he brought that a day early, more so for us,
so that she would tire herself out on the trampoline
and sleep well on Christmas Eve. I give myself five
(02:58):
stars for that. I just think that's genius.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
It was.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
My concern is that each week, if memory serves me correctly,
all of your confessions are lies.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Look are we calling them lies? Okay? Are we calling
them tactical parenting? I'm just scheduling parenting at a time
that works best for me and my child.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
I think that that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
And also, as I have told you, as someone with
older children, they don't develop core memories until after five.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So I have another year.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Want to lie one year? And then you need to
start being authentic.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Look, she is deeply loved. We just wanted to make
sure that we were both there for her to open
her presence and have the big celebration. So that's what
we That's what we did. But then it did feel
very strange on the day to say, so you.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Had to pretend it wasn't no.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Then on the day, I just said, and today you're
actually four, so you get your presence from Nanny and Poppy.
That's a real day.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
She was confused.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
She was confused, but look she's confused when she counts
to twenty as well. So it's fine and no core memory.
One more year, no harm done. Fine, it's all fine.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
You done this. Mine's really not that bad. But do
you know why?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I'm just coming off a like non kids weeks, So
I haven't actually been a parent. So yeah, it's lovely
silver linings of divorce.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
But I so I had to think, like.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh god, back when I was a parent the other week,
what did I do? Okay, so you know the old
saying stealing candy from a baby. Yeah, well I don't
have babies. But while I didn't have my children, I
remembered that there was a little Halloween stash that they
have forgotten about, how.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
They still have Halloween chocolate and lonely.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
So while my children were not with me, I broke
into their stash and ate the best of the best ones.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
You know what, it's been long enough, you snooze, you loose. Yes,
it's a new year.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Be gay.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah, some of them are bit slimy.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, I was aboud to say they would actually be
off by now. So really you're doing them a favor.
You're saving them from being poisoned.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
And you shouldn't give kids sugar. No really no, if
you look at it through that lens, I'm actually being
a good parent absolutely by shielding them and absorbing the
sugar into my teeth and shielding.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Their exactly what sacrifice. What a selfless mother.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I'm so selfie. I feel about that because I've been
feeling a bit icky, but now.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I feel no either way.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So this show does not exist without your guilty confessions.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
So please leave us avoid note a.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Voice a voice note or if you want to have
full and I can see that this word is in
here because I can't say it, and anonymity.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know what, when I edited the script, I did
make sure it was on.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yout's just say it's a thank you for that. But
we take great pride and joy in reading them out.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's not your voice.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
We love a dramatic recreation, so please let us do that. Yes,
send them through and we'll read them out.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
For you and thank you to the people who continue
to send us there canessions because they are the high
light in our otherwise bleak lives.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
We love them so much, and on today's show they
sound like doozies. On today's show, mystery confessions, which we
have not heard yet are unicorn crusher, my child is boring?
Okay and been there, done that?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Am alright, I'll take the first one, Stacy Hicks, unicorn crusher.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
After picking up my fifteen month old gremlin from daycare,
I had to quickly run into the supermarket for.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
A couple of things.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
There I was milk and nappies in my right arm,
wrestling my child in my left. She was doing her
best impression of a human octopus.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Oh yeah, that's annoy.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
It is a weird stage.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That stage yeh, all limbs, no logic, while treating my
face like a drum kit.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Very thought.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
After copying the fifteenth slap to the face while dodging
other shoppers and their judgy looks, we wouldn't have been judging.
And unable to control my anger, I crushed her little
plastic unicorn toy in my hand. Oh, threw it in
the bin and said.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
That's what happens. When we hit mummy.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
She gave me a confused look, sobbed a bit more
than completely settled. Neither of us spoke a word in
the car.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Oh ah, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Look at least she didn't crush her little octopus fingers.
That's where I thought that was going. Yeah, I was
very concerned.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I thought she was gonna leaning us more down the
docks kind of issue rather than no toy issue.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Look much better it be the toy. Yes, I feel
like it taught her if she calmed down from that,
if she was a bit like, ooh, maybe that was.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
A good I'm feeling very torn.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Look, we've all been there in those situations. There is
nothing worse than when your kid is doing that in public,
because it feels so embarrassing. Even though you know every
other parent who sees it happen, yes, would be like,
oh yeah, it's happened to me one hundred times. But
when it's when you're out, especially when it's like a
young child, free woman leaving it as she sees you
do that, and she's like, thank god, I don't have
(08:25):
to deal with that, it does feel embarrassing, like you
want your kid to be lovely and happy in public
at least chuck the tantrums at home. So it is mortifying.
We've all been there where you get frustrated.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I feel like it would be worse if she yelled
at the child, Like that's worse, yeah, and more embarrassing
in public.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And to be honest, this toy sounds like a hazard.
You would have stepped on this at three am one night?
Speaker 3 (08:52):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
What little beautiful plastic It's probably come from, like a
little chocolate.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Or something, you know, like temu or something.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Oh, the amount of those little bitty things in my
house that I step on accidentally. You've actually just saved
yourself one of those situations. I feel like, do you.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Know, would be like crossing the line if it was
like you know how they have that like emotional support toy?
Oh yeah, like yah yah, yeah, I don't know, we've
got a waw So I think if it was yeah
yah or wah wee too far? Yeah, I feel like
you are then crushing their emotional support and that is
(09:32):
too great a lesson. But in this instance, the tamu
plastic tacky unicorn, Fine.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yep, We're going do with one less of those in
the world. Yes, fine, So what are we scoring?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
How you go? First?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Look, I think, as I said, you could have crushed
that little waving spinkers in a moment of frustration. That
would not have been cool doing it to the unicorn.
Absolutely fine. So therefore I think it's pretty harmless. So
for me, you'll get six little sad unicorns out of ten.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You know, not that I'm a parenting expert, but obviously
I inter viewed many have and so I can speak
from advice that has been given to me, and I
sometimes remember to do, and I honestly do sometimes is
that you can lose it at your child, but then
it's about the repair. So I think where this person
is going to gain points because they're being a bad parent,
(10:29):
is it that they didn't talk about it in the
car and.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
They didn't hold like a little unicorn funeral, yes, burial, Yes,
that would have awake Yeah, like a nice release, you know,
some closure for this unicorn and child, because what she
could have done is in the car said you know what,
I'm really sorry I lost.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
It and I shouldn't have crushed your toy.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I was just really frustrated and I'm sorry, and that
would have been the repair, as we call it. But
there was no repair and there was no acknowledgment. So
really it was a bit of a scary lesson.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Remember what you said about core memories. Nothing's going on.
It's fine. Fifteen months fine.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Oh yeah, fifteen months fresh.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
The next day, Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
They'll be no memory.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Although that one might have stuck there, like I feel
like traue, Like that's trauma stick, trauma, trauma sticks.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Oh if this is the biggest trauma this fifteen month
old has.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I think you're okay, having a good run.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
So what's the score from you?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I'm going to go eight unicorns?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
They go, because, as we discussed, there was a lack
of repair. Okay, Doctor aneles with the advice.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
For you people do as I say, not as I do, exactly.
Next one, next hicks.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Okay, And our second confession titled my child is boring. Okay,
it starts, it starts out hot ready, yep. I didn't
love him so much as a baby. I found the
whole sleeping, eating, pooping routine honestly boring. Oh yes, hard,
(12:00):
relaying hard rely. Now that he's won, I actually want
to be with him more than ever. If anything, I
would prefer to be a stay at home mum now
at this stage, wherever day is an adventure versus those
first six months. I'm so scared of the zero to
six month phase that I'm very opposed to having another
baby at this point. Maybe this will change as I
(12:20):
get older.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I don't think that age makes you more tolerant to
babies being boring. Yeah, I don't feel like that's something
you get with you know, age and wisdom.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Look, I have a lot of experience in this area
because when my baby was zero to six months old,
I was in lockdown. Oh wow, So not only was
my baby very boring, my whole world was so very boring,
all of it.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No wonder why you never had another one.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
That's right, This is why I hold up. I am done, try,
I am done draustics. I want little bit traumatized.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Drastics.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
For the record, love my daughter more than life itself.
And you are right. The older they get, the more
fun they get. So much fun you can have with them.
And really, this person has found floor in the system
of maternity leave. Yes, we don't want to do that bit.
No where they're feeding around the clock and they're not
sleeping at all. You want to be with them when
they're one and they're having fun and having conversations.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Because they're effectively worms. But yeah, the one thing that
I did like about the worm period, and I think
I've told you before, is that you can just sit
around and watch TV, and whether you're breastfeeding bottle feed,
you can just binge watch TV and they don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I wore a worm the entire Gray's Anatomy for the
first time ever during that time, because what else would
we do?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Nothing, No, and very meant everything, medicals, very top of
mine exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Yeah, so I you know, that was a bonus that
I have forgotten about.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
You're right, I think it's fine that this person found
this period boring, and I probably just wouldn't recommend that
they do it again. Or do you know what pivot
If you've got a partner, they can do the.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
First bite and then you can take later leave. Yes,
this is you know.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And you will forget as time goes on, Like I'd
forgotten about how much fun it was just to watch
TV all the time with my baby in my lap,
Like that was actually a good time. It was a
bit boring, but it was a good time, yes.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Because you can't sit around and watch adult TV.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Although once she's got a toddler and then another baby,
you know what, it probably won't feel as boring. You
won't be able to be bored. If that child's not
in daycare. You'll be too busy, dark, so you might
actually love it.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
You don't have time to people know, you're too tired,
and you.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Will literally your head will hit the pillow and you
will immediately be asleep. So it'd be great.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I think if there's just one little criticism, if we
just sort of circle so harsh, this episode so and
this look, this could be like she's just chatting with girlfriends,
like you know, we are have friends. But I feel
like it's a bit much to say I didn't love him.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Oh look, I think I want to say. I think
the trope everyone tells you that the second the baby
comes out of wherever they come out of, out of
your body, the sun roof, or your vagina, that you
just instantly have this all consuming love for them. Not
everyone not accurate, and not everyone does. It's like a build.
And I definitely think for me, by six months, that's
(15:26):
when I was one hundred percent fully in love with
my baby, so much like I didn't feel like I
was getting to know this stranger that now inhabited my house.
So I think people go either way. So I think
that's what she's meaning.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So now that you've said this on record, we can
add this to Little Hicks juniors trauma trauma files of
things to work through.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I'm so sorry to my darling girl.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I love yourself, yes, and I loved mine straightaway.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Well, I guess we know who get full marks here.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
So I think that this is totally fine. I think
the other thing, though, is that because they get more fun,
you don't want to go back into that, so that
the longer the gap is, the harder it feels going
back to baby stage.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh yeah, it's far in the review.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, and everything becomes easy, like, no, I can't go back.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah. So yeah, so don't leave it too long. If
you want to procreate more, just rip the band aid
off and write a few years off.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Just get what I few years out of the way,
and then you all love it.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Rip it off and then then they are fun later.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, okay, So what are we scoring this person calling
their child boring?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Oh that's fine.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I feel a deep kinship to you. Just stand so
to this person, I am giving you nine out of
ten for being so honest.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Yeah, I like the authenticity obviously, Yes, and I'm going
to give you nine.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Worms out of ten.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That's what they are.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Very boring worms, needy worms. All right, we're going to
finish up with Stacy Hicks. Been there, done that? Are
we doing it tomorrow? Let's find out during my most
recent New Year rage cleaning fits, you know the ones
(17:14):
I do where you're convinced decluttering will somehow fix everything.
I may or may not have thrown out a box
clearly marked keep by one.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Of my kids.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Oh, yes, I saw the label, Yes I knew it
contained their treasures, and yes I still put it in
the bin. Was it forty three broken pencils, random rocks
and Happy Meal toys?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Possibly?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Do I feel terrible about it now? Absolutely? It's been
months and they haven't noticed yet. I'm living on borrowed time,
waiting for the moment they ask about their precious collection
of moldy lolly wrappers and help, or at least a
convincing story about where their treasures might have magically disappeared to.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh look, I feel a kinship to you too. I
love a rage clean. Yes, I love throwing out a
random nut or bolt that I find on the table.
It's probably crucial to the integrity of something in my house.
Don't care if it's there and it's taking up space,
it's going in the bin. It's gone.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I do do this with toys as well. Yes, broken pencils,
random rocks, o CA so the worst. Firstly, we need
to acknowledge this is okay, the fact that this kid
hasn't noticed, which of course they haven't because they have
all the other shiny new objects.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Probably won't.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
They never will, you know, because I've moved house so
many times, and one of the silver linings of that
is that I'm Marie Condo every time I move.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, that's great. Yes, we must be living out of
a suitcase.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I literally have nothing in my home.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
And as my children are now tween and about to
be teenagers, they really have outgrown so much. So in
the last move, knowing that I was really a sort
of the very pointy end, we did a very big clean.
And when I say we, I mean me, yes, behind
their backs. Yes, yes, and I really got rid of
(19:09):
so much stuff.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
But you know, I think there was only one toy
that they mentioned where they went, not where did that go? No?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, I don't know, so I think you can just
play dumb. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Look, do we need to come up with a magical
backstory for now? Yeah, they're saying they this person is saying,
I need a convincing story of where the treasures have gone.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I know, robbery, burglars, burglars did it.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
That's reassuring. Yes, the burglars came in, Yes, snuck in.
Touch nothing else of mummies, just the rocks. Just took
forty three broken pencils, random rocks and a happy meal toy. Yes, okay, Yeah,
I can't think of a single floor in that story.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
You can't, pole, You literally cannot.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I mean, what are they gonna do? Yeah, go to
the police, it's too late. Yeah, there's no fingerpis gone.
We've dusted.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Sorry, we've cleaned the crime scene since there will be
no evidence. Darling, you're right, it's a perfect it's a
perfect Well we've solved that.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Yep, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Okay, And what are we giving them out of ten um?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I just almost just find this two run of the
meal relatable and necessary. Otherwise you will literally be like
you'd have piles.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
In your home of junk if you didn't declutter the.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Lady that lived inside a happy meal because it's take over.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Oh those stupid, so stupid.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
So for that reason, I'm going to mark low because
it's actually just it's a it's an act service.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, it's a it's a community service.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Okay, So I'm just going to do like three rocks
out of ten.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Okay, I think I'm doing the same. I think this
is fine. Like, good on you for doing this, love
you for admitting this to us. So for me, you'll
get four bins out of ten. Keep it going great,
you know what, Commit to the lie. Throw out a
few more things. Yes, get them thinking there's really been
a robbery and.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
There's an ongoing cat burglar. Yes, that's just so dafishy.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Maybe don't do that. Yeah, that's for our entertainment.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah, okay, So who's the winner? Who's so?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
So to be clear because I always get confused at
this point.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, So we had the unicorn crusher, the mum getting
rid of the little plastic toy was bad. The cheeky
baby was being naughty in the shop. My child is boring,
saying it was dull and then been there, done that,
throwing out the toys, and we're.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Giving you the perfect lie. Yeah, what could possibly bye?
I think for me, crushing the toy is probably the
worst out of the three because it is potentially trauma.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Oh, as we discussed, there was no repair. No, there
was no repair.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You know, everyone makes mistakes, and I'm really sorry. I
lost my temper and it's not cool, and I'm sorry
that I crushed your toy.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
The child's fifteen months, let's.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Call your jets.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Well, but I do agree. I think out of the tree.
I love it. I love that you've admitted it. It's
we all have these moments.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Optics aren't good in public, and you can fix it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
It's fine, yeah, I think, And one less annoying little
unicorn toy.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
And then next time, maybe just the repair. Oh goold
be my fever. Focus on the repair. So you would
be out of the three which are really not awful parents,
no very run of the meal.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
For telling us all the great strategy.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
So out of the three of not being terrible parents,
the first crushing of the toy or the best worst
parents without the repair, you are today's winner.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Well, yeah, congratulations. Does that make you feel better about
crushing the toy? And that brings us to the end
of this week's parents Anonymous, but Annaly's will be back
on Monday for another episode of this glorious.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Mess, And if you've got a confession, we would love
to hear it. Please send us your secret shame. All
the details are in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
See you later.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Fine,
You're listening to Amma mea podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Parent's Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annaly's Todd.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm a single parent, self confessed accidental hot mess, but
a work in progress as I live and breathe.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
You're doing well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Well, you're trying, You're trying. I'm Staisy Hicks. I'm the
deputy editor at MoMA Maya and I currently have what
looks like some sort of flesh eating bacteria on my face.
So I am very glad that this is an audio
medium today.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
And look, I do have sympathy and care to your faith.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
You haven't shown it, but.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I just want to get the elephant in the room
and pay attention to it.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What did you call me? No?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Seriously? Is it contagious?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
No? No, I've been assured by the doctor. Not contagious.
Looks like shingles, but not.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Great, excellent, just stunning for me. Thoughts and prayer and
fears for Stacey Hicks. Welcome back to Parents Anonymous. Each
week you confess your deepest, darkest parenting secrets to us
and shame, Release that shame, release that burden, and will
make you feel better about them.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yes, it is truly one of the joys of our
life to hear that you're all as hopeless as we
are yes doing this parenting thing, So please keep them
coming because you guys have had some doozies. And in
each episode we always give you one of our mini
confessions of the week because we don't want to sit
up on our judge mcjudge face high and mighty mountain.
(01:54):
Oh no, we couldn't casting judgment down on you from
up high, so we will get low with you now.
Mine this week is not that bad to me. I
think our listeners will think I'm awesome for doing this,
but I know that you won't like it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Good four inauthenticity. Yes, the inauthenticity or favorite word. So
my daughter turned four last week.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh happy by exciting, But my husband was going to
be away thought day it was on a Friday. That
didn't suit us. No, so we just pretended her birthday
was the previous Saturday because that worked best for us.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Didn't you pretend that Christmas was a different day as well?
We did.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
No, No, we didn't pretend that Christmas was a different day.
We told her that Santa was doing an express delivery
on one of her parcels, which was the trampoline, because
he couldn't possibly fit that on the sleigh with everything else,
so he brought that a day early, more so for us,
so that she would tire herself out on the trampoline
and sleep well on Christmas Eve. I give myself five
(02:58):
stars for that. I just think that's genius.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
It was.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
My concern is that each week, if memory serves me correctly,
all of your confessions are lies.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Look are we calling them lies? Okay? Are we calling
them tactical parenting? I'm just scheduling parenting at a time
that works best for me and my child.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
I think that that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
And also, as I have told you, as someone with
older children, they don't develop core memories until after five.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So I have another year.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Want to lie one year? And then you need to
start being authentic.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Look, she is deeply loved. We just wanted to make
sure that we were both there for her to open
her presence and have the big celebration. So that's what
we That's what we did. But then it did feel
very strange on the day to say, so you.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Had to pretend it wasn't no.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Then on the day, I just said, and today you're
actually four, so you get your presence from Nanny and Poppy.
That's a real day.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
She was confused.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
She was confused, but look she's confused when she counts
to twenty as well. So it's fine and no core memory.
One more year, no harm done. Fine, it's all fine.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
You done this. Mine's really not that bad. But do
you know why?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I'm just coming off a like non kids weeks, So
I haven't actually been a parent. So yeah, it's lovely
silver linings of divorce.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
But I so I had to think, like.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh god, back when I was a parent the other week,
what did I do? Okay, so you know the old
saying stealing candy from a baby. Yeah, well I don't
have babies. But while I didn't have my children, I
remembered that there was a little Halloween stash that they
have forgotten about, how.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
They still have Halloween chocolate and lonely.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
So while my children were not with me, I broke
into their stash and ate the best of the best ones.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
You know what, it's been long enough, you snooze, you loose. Yes,
it's a new year.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Be gay.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah, some of them are bit slimy.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, I was aboud to say they would actually be
off by now. So really you're doing them a favor.
You're saving them from being poisoned.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
And you shouldn't give kids sugar. No really no, if
you look at it through that lens, I'm actually being
a good parent absolutely by shielding them and absorbing the
sugar into my teeth and shielding.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Their exactly what sacrifice. What a selfless mother.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I'm so selfie. I feel about that because I've been
feeling a bit icky, but now.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I feel no either way.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So this show does not exist without your guilty confessions.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
So please leave us avoid note a.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Voice a voice note or if you want to have
full and I can see that this word is in
here because I can't say it, and anonymity.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know what, when I edited the script, I did
make sure it was on.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yout's just say it's a thank you for that. But
we take great pride and joy in reading them out.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's not your voice.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
We love a dramatic recreation, so please let us do that. Yes,
send them through and we'll read them out.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
For you and thank you to the people who continue
to send us there canessions because they are the high
light in our otherwise bleak lives.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
We love them so much, and on today's show they
sound like doozies. On today's show, mystery confessions, which we
have not heard yet are unicorn crusher, my child is boring?
Okay and been there, done that?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Am alright, I'll take the first one, Stacy Hicks, unicorn crusher.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
After picking up my fifteen month old gremlin from daycare,
I had to quickly run into the supermarket for.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
A couple of things.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
There I was milk and nappies in my right arm,
wrestling my child in my left. She was doing her
best impression of a human octopus.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Oh yeah, that's annoy.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
It is a weird stage.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That stage yeh, all limbs, no logic, while treating my
face like a drum kit.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Very thought.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
After copying the fifteenth slap to the face while dodging
other shoppers and their judgy looks, we wouldn't have been judging.
And unable to control my anger, I crushed her little
plastic unicorn toy in my hand. Oh, threw it in
the bin and said.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
That's what happens. When we hit mummy.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
She gave me a confused look, sobbed a bit more
than completely settled. Neither of us spoke a word in
the car.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Oh ah, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Look at least she didn't crush her little octopus fingers.
That's where I thought that was going. Yeah, I was
very concerned.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I thought she was gonna leaning us more down the
docks kind of issue rather than no toy issue.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Look much better it be the toy. Yes, I feel
like it taught her if she calmed down from that,
if she was a bit like, ooh, maybe that was.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
A good I'm feeling very torn.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Look, we've all been there in those situations. There is
nothing worse than when your kid is doing that in public,
because it feels so embarrassing. Even though you know every
other parent who sees it happen, yes, would be like,
oh yeah, it's happened to me one hundred times. But
when it's when you're out, especially when it's like a
young child, free woman leaving it as she sees you
do that, and she's like, thank god, I don't have
(08:25):
to deal with that, it does feel embarrassing, like you
want your kid to be lovely and happy in public
at least chuck the tantrums at home. So it is mortifying.
We've all been there where you get frustrated.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I feel like it would be worse if she yelled
at the child, Like that's worse, yeah, and more embarrassing
in public.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And to be honest, this toy sounds like a hazard.
You would have stepped on this at three am one night?
Speaker 3 (08:52):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
What little beautiful plastic It's probably come from, like a
little chocolate.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Or something, you know, like temu or something.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Oh, the amount of those little bitty things in my
house that I step on accidentally. You've actually just saved
yourself one of those situations. I feel like, do you.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Know, would be like crossing the line if it was
like you know how they have that like emotional support toy?
Oh yeah, like yah yah, yeah, I don't know, we've
got a waw So I think if it was yeah
yah or wah wee too far? Yeah, I feel like
you are then crushing their emotional support and that is
(09:32):
too great a lesson. But in this instance, the tamu
plastic tacky unicorn, Fine.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yep, We're going do with one less of those in
the world. Yes, fine, So what are we scoring?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
How you go? First?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Look, I think, as I said, you could have crushed
that little waving spinkers in a moment of frustration. That
would not have been cool doing it to the unicorn.
Absolutely fine. So therefore I think it's pretty harmless. So
for me, you'll get six little sad unicorns out of ten.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You know, not that I'm a parenting expert, but obviously
I inter viewed many have and so I can speak
from advice that has been given to me, and I
sometimes remember to do, and I honestly do sometimes is
that you can lose it at your child, but then
it's about the repair. So I think where this person
is going to gain points because they're being a bad parent,
(10:29):
is it that they didn't talk about it in the
car and.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
They didn't hold like a little unicorn funeral, yes, burial, Yes,
that would have awake Yeah, like a nice release, you know,
some closure for this unicorn and child, because what she
could have done is in the car said you know what,
I'm really sorry I lost.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
It and I shouldn't have crushed your toy.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I was just really frustrated and I'm sorry, and that
would have been the repair, as we call it. But
there was no repair and there was no acknowledgment. So
really it was a bit of a scary lesson.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Remember what you said about core memories. Nothing's going on.
It's fine. Fifteen months fine.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Oh yeah, fifteen months fresh.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
The next day, Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
They'll be no memory.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Although that one might have stuck there, like I feel
like traue, Like that's trauma stick, trauma, trauma sticks.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Oh if this is the biggest trauma this fifteen month
old has.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I think you're okay, having a good run.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
So what's the score from you?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I'm going to go eight unicorns?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
They go, because, as we discussed, there was a lack
of repair. Okay, Doctor aneles with the advice.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
For you people do as I say, not as I do, exactly.
Next one, next hicks.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Okay, And our second confession titled my child is boring. Okay,
it starts, it starts out hot ready, yep. I didn't
love him so much as a baby. I found the
whole sleeping, eating, pooping routine honestly boring. Oh yes, hard,
(12:00):
relaying hard rely. Now that he's won, I actually want
to be with him more than ever. If anything, I
would prefer to be a stay at home mum now
at this stage, wherever day is an adventure versus those
first six months. I'm so scared of the zero to
six month phase that I'm very opposed to having another
baby at this point. Maybe this will change as I
(12:20):
get older.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I don't think that age makes you more tolerant to
babies being boring. Yeah, I don't feel like that's something
you get with you know, age and wisdom.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Look, I have a lot of experience in this area
because when my baby was zero to six months old,
I was in lockdown. Oh wow, So not only was
my baby very boring, my whole world was so very boring,
all of it.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
No wonder why you never had another one.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
That's right, This is why I hold up. I am done, try,
I am done draustics. I want little bit traumatized.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Drastics.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
For the record, love my daughter more than life itself.
And you are right. The older they get, the more
fun they get. So much fun you can have with them.
And really, this person has found floor in the system
of maternity leave. Yes, we don't want to do that bit.
No where they're feeding around the clock and they're not
sleeping at all. You want to be with them when
they're one and they're having fun and having conversations.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Because they're effectively worms. But yeah, the one thing that
I did like about the worm period, and I think
I've told you before, is that you can just sit
around and watch TV, and whether you're breastfeeding bottle feed,
you can just binge watch TV and they don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I wore a worm the entire Gray's Anatomy for the
first time ever during that time, because what else would
we do?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Nothing, No, and very meant everything, medicals, very top of
mine exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Yeah, so I you know, that was a bonus that
I have forgotten about.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
You're right, I think it's fine that this person found
this period boring, and I probably just wouldn't recommend that
they do it again. Or do you know what pivot
If you've got a partner, they can do the.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
First bite and then you can take later leave. Yes,
this is you know.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And you will forget as time goes on, Like I'd
forgotten about how much fun it was just to watch
TV all the time with my baby in my lap,
Like that was actually a good time. It was a
bit boring, but it was a good time, yes.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Because you can't sit around and watch adult TV.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Although once she's got a toddler and then another baby,
you know what, it probably won't feel as boring. You
won't be able to be bored. If that child's not
in daycare. You'll be too busy, dark, so you might
actually love it.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
You don't have time to people know, you're too tired,
and you.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Will literally your head will hit the pillow and you
will immediately be asleep. So it'd be great.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I think if there's just one little criticism, if we
just sort of circle so harsh, this episode so and
this look, this could be like she's just chatting with girlfriends,
like you know, we are have friends. But I feel
like it's a bit much to say I didn't love him.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Oh look, I think I want to say. I think
the trope everyone tells you that the second the baby
comes out of wherever they come out of, out of
your body, the sun roof, or your vagina, that you
just instantly have this all consuming love for them. Not
everyone not accurate, and not everyone does. It's like a build.
And I definitely think for me, by six months, that's
(15:26):
when I was one hundred percent fully in love with
my baby, so much like I didn't feel like I
was getting to know this stranger that now inhabited my house.
So I think people go either way. So I think
that's what she's meaning.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So now that you've said this on record, we can
add this to Little Hicks juniors trauma trauma files of
things to work through.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I'm so sorry to my darling girl.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I love yourself, yes, and I loved mine straightaway.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Well, I guess we know who get full marks here.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
So I think that this is totally fine. I think
the other thing, though, is that because they get more fun,
you don't want to go back into that, so that
the longer the gap is, the harder it feels going
back to baby stage.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh yeah, it's far in the review.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, and everything becomes easy, like, no, I can't go back.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah. So yeah, so don't leave it too long. If
you want to procreate more, just rip the band aid
off and write a few years off.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Just get what I few years out of the way,
and then you all love it.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Rip it off and then then they are fun later.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, okay, So what are we scoring this person calling
their child boring?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Oh that's fine.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I feel a deep kinship to you. Just stand so
to this person, I am giving you nine out of
ten for being so honest.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Yeah, I like the authenticity obviously, Yes, and I'm going
to give you nine.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Worms out of ten.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That's what they are.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Very boring worms, needy worms. All right, we're going to
finish up with Stacy Hicks. Been there, done that? Are
we doing it tomorrow? Let's find out during my most
recent New Year rage cleaning fits, you know the ones
(17:14):
I do where you're convinced decluttering will somehow fix everything.
I may or may not have thrown out a box
clearly marked keep by one.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Of my kids.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Oh, yes, I saw the label, Yes I knew it
contained their treasures, and yes I still put it in
the bin. Was it forty three broken pencils, random rocks
and Happy Meal toys?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Possibly?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Do I feel terrible about it now? Absolutely? It's been
months and they haven't noticed yet. I'm living on borrowed time,
waiting for the moment they ask about their precious collection
of moldy lolly wrappers and help, or at least a
convincing story about where their treasures might have magically disappeared to.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh look, I feel a kinship to you too. I
love a rage clean. Yes, I love throwing out a
random nut or bolt that I find on the table.
It's probably crucial to the integrity of something in my house.
Don't care if it's there and it's taking up space,
it's going in the bin. It's gone.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I do do this with toys as well. Yes, broken pencils,
random rocks, o CA so the worst. Firstly, we need
to acknowledge this is okay, the fact that this kid
hasn't noticed, which of course they haven't because they have
all the other shiny new objects.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Probably won't.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
They never will, you know, because I've moved house so
many times, and one of the silver linings of that
is that I'm Marie Condo every time I move.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, that's great. Yes, we must be living out of
a suitcase.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I literally have nothing in my home.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
And as my children are now tween and about to
be teenagers, they really have outgrown so much. So in
the last move, knowing that I was really a sort
of the very pointy end, we did a very big clean.
And when I say we, I mean me, yes, behind
their backs. Yes, yes, and I really got rid of
(19:09):
so much stuff.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
But you know, I think there was only one toy
that they mentioned where they went, not where did that go? No?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, I don't know, so I think you can just
play dumb. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Look, do we need to come up with a magical
backstory for now? Yeah, they're saying they this person is saying,
I need a convincing story of where the treasures have gone.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I know, robbery, burglars, burglars did it.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
That's reassuring. Yes, the burglars came in, Yes, snuck in.
Touch nothing else of mummies, just the rocks. Just took
forty three broken pencils, random rocks and a happy meal toy. Yes, okay, Yeah,
I can't think of a single floor in that story.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
You can't, pole, You literally cannot.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I mean, what are they gonna do? Yeah, go to
the police, it's too late. Yeah, there's no fingerpis gone.
We've dusted.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Sorry, we've cleaned the crime scene since there will be
no evidence. Darling, you're right, it's a perfect it's a
perfect Well we've solved that.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Yep, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Okay, And what are we giving them out of ten um?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I just almost just find this two run of the
meal relatable and necessary. Otherwise you will literally be like
you'd have piles.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
In your home of junk if you didn't declutter the.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Lady that lived inside a happy meal because it's take over.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Oh those stupid, so stupid.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
So for that reason, I'm going to mark low because
it's actually just it's a it's an act service.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, it's a it's a community service.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Okay, So I'm just going to do like three rocks
out of ten.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Okay, I think I'm doing the same. I think this
is fine. Like, good on you for doing this, love
you for admitting this to us. So for me, you'll
get four bins out of ten. Keep it going great,
you know what, Commit to the lie. Throw out a
few more things. Yes, get them thinking there's really been
a robbery and.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
There's an ongoing cat burglar. Yes, that's just so dafishy.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Maybe don't do that. Yeah, that's for our entertainment.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah, okay, So who's the winner? Who's so?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
So to be clear because I always get confused at
this point.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, So we had the unicorn crusher, the mum getting
rid of the little plastic toy was bad. The cheeky
baby was being naughty in the shop. My child is boring,
saying it was dull and then been there, done that,
throwing out the toys, and we're.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Giving you the perfect lie. Yeah, what could possibly bye?
I think for me, crushing the toy is probably the
worst out of the three because it is potentially trauma.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Oh, as we discussed, there was no repair. No, there
was no repair.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You know, everyone makes mistakes, and I'm really sorry. I
lost my temper and it's not cool, and I'm sorry
that I crushed your toy.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
The child's fifteen months, let's.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Call your jets.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Well, but I do agree. I think out of the tree.
I love it. I love that you've admitted it. It's
we all have these moments.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Optics aren't good in public, and you can fix it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
It's fine, yeah, I think, And one less annoying little
unicorn toy.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
And then next time, maybe just the repair. Oh goold
be my fever. Focus on the repair. So you would
be out of the three which are really not awful parents,
no very run of the meal.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
For telling us all the great strategy.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
So out of the three of not being terrible parents,
the first crushing of the toy or the best worst
parents without the repair, you are today's winner.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Well, yeah, congratulations. Does that make you feel better about
crushing the toy? And that brings us to the end
of this week's parents Anonymous, but Annaly's will be back
on Monday for another episode of this glorious.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Mess, And if you've got a confession, we would love
to hear it. Please send us your secret shame. All
the details are in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
See you later.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Fine,
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