March 26, 2025 • 25 mins
We need to talk about sleep. Not your kids sleep - YOUR sleep.
This episode Tegan and Annaliese share how the mental load impacts their sleep, and discuss how a "sleep divorce" could be the key to a good nights rest.
Annaliese speaks to a sleep expert, leading to her full meltdown after learning about the mistakes she's been making and how we could all be doing better in the bedroom.
Plus, Sarah Marie hears from a mom craving alone time but feeling like she'll never get it.
And, we hear from the regional mum who feeds her kids dinner at 3pm (yes you read that right) all in the name of calm afternoons and a better sleep routine.
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CREDITS:
Hosts: Annaliese Todd, Tegan Natoli and Sarah Marie
Producer: Grace Rouvray
Audio Producer: Lu Hill
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Mia acknowledges
the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
is recorded on an Alicia.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just dropping into your feed and I wanted to share
an episode that Tegus and I recorded last year because
it's about sleep. But it's not your kids sleep, it's
about your sleep. And we follow along some pretty poor
sleep hygiene habits that I have, and I spiral with
a sleep expert and she's got really fantastic advice. So
(00:43):
I definitely recommend you listen. But the other thing that
we talked about was sleep divorce. So it's not the
divorce where marriage ends, but it's about incremental stepping away
and sleeping away from your partner to protect your sleep.
It's super fascinating. Have a listen. I hope you enjoy.
(01:05):
Hello and welcome to this glorious mess. We're embracing the
chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Analie Todd, a single
mum of two tween boys and happy to report we
are all currently life free. Oh what a victory, What
a time to be alive.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And I'm teaking a tolly. I'm a mom of three
under six and I now have two toothless twins, as
I like to call them, so teek.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Today on the show, we're talking about sleep, not your kids,
sleep yours, because this podcast is all about you to sleep,
not about you teak. It's about actually the people who
listen to us. But anyway, we hear from a mum
who's scheduling dinner time a little bit differently. Plus we
chat to a sleep expert. I find out all the
things I'm doing wrong with my own sleep. So stay
(01:53):
tuned to hear my shame spiral and meltdown over that.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Oh I can't wait, And as always, we will hear
from our friend Sarah Marie. But first, here's what's happening
in my group chat. I thought i'd just refer to
my mum's group chat, currently entitled chass host.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Mine's called the suburb I live in and legends, so
mine's a little bit better than your PG. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I thought this was so funny because I feel like
what I'm about to quote is an insight into all parents'
lives with kids around starting school age. Anyway, this one
particular mum said that her son was nearly asleep and
just yelled out from his bedroom criticizing me that he
found one soft grape in his lunch box in a
monst the many perfect grapes. I can't go the f
(02:39):
to sleep. You're getting a lunch box full of soft
grapes tomorrow. I can't believe.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
As he's falling asleep, he's like, yeah, I need to
tell mum about that one soft This was the worst
thing that happened in my day. But do better next time.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Ah, I'm hungry. There you go. There's hungry for soft grapes.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
That's all you're getting.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Hiatt, Sarah Marie, Hi.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Sarah Marie.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I'd love your advice.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
My child keeps climbing.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Into my bed with me.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Please make it stop.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Will I ever be alone again?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Why do you want it to stop? I don't understand.
I am the wrong person to ask this question to.
I am in the middle of my queen size bed.
I've got my four year old on one side, I've
got my one year old on the other because he
suddenly eleven months decided he doesn't want to be in
his cot. He wants to be snuggled with me and
(03:35):
I can sleep. The kids sleep. I love sleeping in
bed with them. But if you actually really need your
own space. I do have a tip, and it worked
with my oldest son until my baby was born, because
then he wanted to sleep in the same room as
his brother. I like pimped out his room. I completely
pimped it up. You know the show Pimped My Ride.
But it was like pimp my room and he was
(03:56):
like dinosaurs war paper. I got him a cool new
bed and new bed sheets. It was a lot of effort,
but it was really cool, a really cool space.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
To be in.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Suddenly he just wanted to sleep in his room. That's
a tip for you, if that's what you really want.
I would make their sleep space their own. Don't make
it like what you want. It has to be what
they want. Don't do the beij Mum thing like get
the color in there, and really get their personality in there,
and they'll want to sleep. They'll probably want you to
sleep in there with them till they fall asleep. But
(04:27):
that's a win. I think if you can leave the
room and go into your own bed. If your question
is why would you want some like adult alone time,
my question is why would you want to?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
I mean, I just can't think of anything worse right now?
You got a kid young.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Enough to want to climb into bed with you. I
think by the time I get the kids to sleep,
I am exhausted. I don't think sex is even on
my mind, and I don't think it's on.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
My husband's side.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
And you know what, judge me as much as you want.
I have in the past weeks spoken to three separate
girlfriends of mine with their husbands, and I have all
said the same thing when we're like, nah, man, like,
that's not happening for us right now.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
It'll get back there.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But I mean, just lock your door.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
If you really worried about your.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Kid walking in on you, just get.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
A lock for that time frame.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
And you know, if you hear the door knock, just
get dressed really quickly.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
When it comes to baby's kids sleep, there's a million
and one methods, opinions, research techniques about how, don't why.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I think what was popular when we were having kids
was the tizzy hall. What was that one called save
our Say?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I did that ah for my first baby from two weeks, from.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Two weeks and still in the womb.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I still feel guilty and am very concerned about the
trauma that I have impacted for yourself or the kid both.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Well, look, that's just one of many now, because everywhere
you turn there's another method, right.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
The fading method, So that's when you put them into
bed while the child is still drowsy, then stay by
their side until they fall.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Isn't that just gones leep?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I don't know it's a method though.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
The five three three rule a training method that involves
specific intervals for sleep.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
It sounds like something you do it like a gym,
like a.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Gym class, or the diets, you know, the.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, all right? The pickup put down methods.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Also sounds like something you do at the gym. The
five minute method.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Just let them cry for five minutes apparently, right, Okay.
The chair method sounds creepy. Instead of leaving the room,
you just sit in a chair next to the cop.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
That's creepy. Look, I'm not gonna lie. I've probably done
that at some stage, let's be honest. I didn't realize
it was an actual method though. I thought it was
just me, my ship. You're so advanced, he can't put
down and shush pat method?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, that also speaks for itself. Tummy.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, responsive settling.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Just sounds like you're responding to their needs, and I
think the meanest one it's called extinction. So basically you
just shove them in the bed and no matter how
much long, right, you just ignore it.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Our whole point is each to your own. Whatever works
for you is whatever works for you, that's what you do.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
You booth totally. And I did that trauma inducing save
our Sleep method for my first but by my second
I was just like, demand feed coalyah, whatever it gets
you through.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, And you know what, every bloody baby's different. Like
my twins. I must say like, I did a method
and it worked great for them, and then I thought, oh,
with Banjo, I'm going to get this done really early.
You know, no way, mate. That kid was an anti sleeper.
I used to laugh at me at three am when
I'd be trying to do the pat the shush, the
pick up, the put down.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
The whatever it was.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
He literally laugh at me in the middle of the night.
And I was like, right, I quit.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I think it's totally luck of the draw.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
What I do agree with in most of these methods
is that a sleeping baby means a sleeping parent, right,
And that's what we're talking about today, how we can sleep.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Save mums sleep.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, out of the way, Tizzy Hall, here we come,
save our sleeps. Clearly we've got issues. I love how
we're like, oh, we're not going to talk about the
kids sleep.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
All we've done is talk about the kids sleep because
I think they're both so traumatized. Well, it's a lifelong
trauma imprint in my brain. But you know, tig, someone
told me this beautiful advice once. They said, you know,
it doesn't matter what you do, you can't spoil a baby.
It's whatever works for you and your baby. And at
the end of the day, they're not going to be
still in your bed when they're eighteen.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah. So now on to actually our sleep, which was
the point. How is your sleep?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
M I am an insomniac, so that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
How is your lack of sleep?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I should say it's very consistent. It actually first started
when I was pregnant with my first the hormonal change.
It just completely hit me and I became an insomniac
and I've sort of dabbled in and out.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Is it because you can't turn your brain off? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I will. Now obviously I'm not pregnant, but I still
have insomnia and it is in a bad phase at
the moment, and I think it's I get ideas that
pop into my head in the night, and I just
start thinking and then going on different trains and thoughts
and what have I got on work tomorrow? And when
am I getting the kids back? And you know, start
doing the mental load stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And I think it all relates back to what we
referred to not long ago what Maggie Dent said to
Kate Ritchie on Nova. She was trying to explain to
fits In and Whipper the mental load of a mum
and how they're like, okay, kids are in bed, they're
shower their fair, there's okay, they go to bed and
they go to bed, whereas moms have like this completely
different wiring where we then lie down in bed and
(09:49):
we're like, oh, did they eat enough broccoli? Oh? I
need to book my eyebrows in for the wax, you know,
like all the things or what did I do at
my twenty first birthday? That was the best one that
she said, because that's me. So I'll sit there and
spiral about something I did sixteen.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Years to go really, yeah, that's just that'll be a
whole other diagnosis. Yeah, I think you should say something
about that. Mine's more current spiraling. So tis if you
share a bed with a partner. I learned about a
new methodology that you might be interested in. It's sleep divorce.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Oh am, I divorcing my sleep.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No, you're divorcing your partner's sleep. So it's this Scandinavian
method and it's like a sliding scale of things that
you can try to save our sleep, which is what
we've been really interested in need. So things like wearing
an eyemask, ear plugs, like I think snoring is something.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh yeah, so I woke up this morning and my
husband was not in the bed.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Well, that's a divorce. That's the end of the line, gnor,
because you've got things like separate doners so you don't
have the fight, separate mattresses side by side.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
And then the very end of the divorce is the
separate rooms, which sounds like where you're at.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Now, things are looking up.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yea. Unfortunately for you, We've got an expert that we're
going to chat to about it.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Does a sleep divorce mean that I'm on the verge
of divorce?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
No, it's all about bettering everyone's sleeps. You do have
more of that connected intimate time.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That's actually going to save us from divorce.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I'm not an expert in that arena given that I
am separated and divorce, so don't ask me.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Well time for the sleep expert.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Then, if you share a bed with a partner, you
might be interested in trying a sleep divorce all around
the idea of giving each person more freedom and better
quality sleep. To explain this phenomenon, I had a chat
with Rachel Beard, a sleep wellness manager at ah Beard's
Sleep Wellness Center. So, Rachel, I am a divorced insomniac.
(11:49):
Why do we need a sleep divorce?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
The foundation of our health and wellbeing is good quality sleep.
And if your sleep is not long and uninterrupted as
it should be because your partner is either snoring, tossing,
and turning, maybe you have different sleep schedules and you're
getting in and out of bed at separate But ultimately,
if your sleep is being disrupted by your partner, a
(12:14):
sleep divorce is more of an extreme way to help
eliminate those disturbances throughout the night.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
But how can we protect that, you know, incidental intimacy
that comes with sharing a bed with someone.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Yeah, definitely, I think I wouldn't go from nothing to
a sleep divorce because that's very well could impact on
your spark or your connection. Possibly start smaller like the
Scandinavian sleep method of the separate doners is another incremental
drump that you could implement to just test and trial
to see if it works. If a couple is seriously
(12:49):
having their sleep impacted by their partner's movements or snoring
or sleep talking, I'm a big sleep talker, so my
poor partner has to deal with that every now and again.
If it's severely impacting your sleep quality, then looking at
something like a sleep divorce is definitely something to consider.
Without a good night's sleep, it impacts and manifests itself
(13:12):
in every aspect of our lives, from our mood and
our relationships. So yeah, making incremental changes, experimenting with new
things is a great way to really prioritize your sleep
and get better sleep for both individuals. Things like social
media and TikTok have definitely increased the awareness and really
(13:32):
helping to reduce the taboo around sleeping separately. Can I
ask you a question analyse? Yeah, of course, when you
say you're divorced, insomniac can you tell me more.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Like I would be lucky to get four hours a night.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Oh, I know, wow out of curiosity. Do you track
or measure or monitor your sleep in any way?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
No, I don't. I take sleeping tablets and melatonin really healthy.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Okay. We always tell people if you can't measure it,
you can't manage it. And with sleep, how many hours
of sleep you get and how you feel when you
wake up, it's hard to truly know what's.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Going on in the middle of the night.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
With all the rage of tracking devices and wearables and
non wearables.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Now it's a really great place to.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Start to, like I said, really know how much sleep
you're getting, how much deep sleep, how much rem sleep,
and then you can kind of create a plan from
then onwards on how to positively change it.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
What do we know about the effects of bad sleep
on a relationship, because I think it's a bit of
that chicken or the egg, you know, it's like, well,
separate rooms, but we need the sleep. So if we're
not getting enough sleep, how does this change for a
relationship When we.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Don't get good quality sleep as a whole? It has
both short term and long term effects. So long term
effects are putting us at an increased risk of developing
serious illness and disease like type two diabetes, heart attack, obesity,
and depression.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Okay, great, my anxiety is now spiraling just hearing this. Yeah,
even mind sleep.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Those are the long term, sorry, long term health in
as well as short term health impacts, which is things
like our mood and our energy levels, the way that
we show up in our relationship with our partners, in
the way that we show up at work, in our productivity.
I mean, I know myself when I'm not well slept,
(15:24):
I am irritable and groggy, and my ability to deal
with stress is definitely not as good. So I think
when you can physically relate to the feelings of a
good night's sleep versus a bad night sleep, and how
they show up, particularly to the ones that we're closest with,
like our loved ones. Unfortunately, they're the ones that cop
(15:45):
it the most, followed by the people that we work
with because we spend so much time there. Highlights the
importance of prioritizing your sleep and really wanting to do
something to improve it.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
And I think as well, like a really common time
is when people have new babies. That's when you're most
sleep deprived.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Definitely. I think as women, we go through so many
different hormonal changes that yes, really can impact our sleep.
Pregnancy is one, being a new mother is another. But
even on a monthly basis, with our hormonal cycle, as women,
we actually need twenty minutes more sleep than men. Do
(16:23):
we get that probably not? Do we need it?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yes we do.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
When you look at PMS, for example, the symptoms are
quite similar to someone that hasn't had a good night's sleep.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
That just must be made twenty four seven. We need
to prioritize our sleep, whether we're alone, have a partner.
This is just the most important thing.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
It's the foundational pillar of health and well being, alongside
regular exercise and balance nutrition. We know so much about
exercise and its benefits on our health physically, mentally, emotionally,
as well as how important it is to eat a
balanced diet. When it comes to sleep, however, what is
good sleep and how do I get it? And the
(17:03):
fact that how well we sleep directly impacts how we look,
how we feel, and how we perform should really start
with a sleep routine, rather than introducing a new gym
routine or starting a new.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Diet I have melatonin each night? Is that bad?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
So melotonin, it's a hormone that's naturally produced in the body,
but it's only produced once there's darkness. So when we
wake up in the morning, you open your eyes, light
hits your brain, the melotonin production stops. Now we've introduced
into the bedrooms things like TVs and phones and tablets
and laptops, and that light, that blue light in particular
(17:42):
that's coming from devices and screens suppresses the production of melatonin.
So when doing that, particularly in the hour before bedtime,
you're literally suppressing a normal bodily function that should be happening. Honestly,
it is the simplest tip, but it is the hardest
to implement. It's one hour before bed. Be protective of
(18:02):
that hour. No phones, no technology, no lights. Like create
an environment that helps in due school quality sleep. That
is one that's cool, dark, quiet, comfy, and a mattress
or a bedroom that's saved for sleep and intimacy only.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Okay, I've very inspired.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
If one hour is too hard, start with half an hour.
Like any habit, we train ourselves into thinking that that's.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
What the normy is.
Speaker 5 (18:29):
So if you're going to bed and you're watching TV,
or particularly you're doing work, or if you're doing anything
other than sleep, or intimacy is what we always like
to call it. You're going to train your brain that
when you hop into bed, it's wired. This is the
time where I now start doom scrollings. It's habitual and
your body becomes used to it. So in order to
(18:49):
change it, it's uncomfortable and it takes time. It is
much easier said than done. But when I choose, for example,
to turn the TV off, put my phone away, I
love to read on my kindle before bed. When I
do that, I genuinely feel the difference. So yeah, half
an hour or ideally one hour, be protective of that time.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I really do want to fix this. I don't want
to be taking sleeping tablets and I don't want to
be living my life in half a coma. I need
to fix it definitely. Coming up on the show, we
hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time a little
bit differently.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I found this distruction. It was chaotic, chaotic.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
We would get home and they would just beg me
for food, kids dinner time. My name is Amy Connor
(19:59):
and I live in regional New South Wales. Around my
dinner table is my husband Shay, my daughter Mali who's seven,
my daughter Indy who's five, my daughter Billy who's three,
and my little one Body, who is just about two.
I think the first meal I can remember being taught
how to cook.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Is just like a cheese toasty.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Because I was pretty fussy kid.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
Cheese toasties were like my thing, and my mum used
to sneak vegetables in there tube. That was the first
kind of safe meal that I can remember making myself.
I love baking and I love just using my imagination,
so I don't actually follow recipes and I just bake
from my heart and I just chuck things in and
I throw scraps in there, just like repurposing food, and
(20:47):
I just love that.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I think baking's really my niche.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
But if it had to be like a dinner time meal,
I love making Mexican like Mexican rice bowls. I just
love your basic chicken snitzle like I love crumbing it
and just like really making them delicious and juicy, and
everyone eats that in my house.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
So we started making dinner time a little bit difference.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
When Marley, my eldest started going to school, I found
this disruption.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You had to all get in the car and go
and pick her up. It was chaotic, chaotic.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
We would get home and they would just beg me
for food.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
The snacks that I'm grabbing are not good. I'm going
to put my hand up there.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
I was grabbing chips, lollie's, all those things that I
was having behavioral issues and all that kind of stuff.
And then I was like, this isn't working. Why don't
I just feed them dinner when they get home. And
I just thought, okay, so I'm going to start prepping
dinner in that downtime at lunch when two of them
were at least asleep and then the other one is
just having a bit of a rest time. And then
(21:48):
the second we walk through that door after school pickup,
which is probably about three o'clock.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
If it's pasta, I'll.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Just reheat it.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
It's all ready to go. If it's chicken, snitzel and potatoes,
I just chuck them in the air fryer and it
just takes me ten fifteen minutes to heat up and
then they all can just sit down and eat and
they just eat their dinners. So much easier, doesn't really
change the bedtime, and I always off them, like we
call it bedtime toast or bedtime fruit or bedtime yogurt,
and they can have that and at least I know
(22:16):
that their time is a full before they go to bed.
I just want them to have like a really nice
relationship with food, and I always have. So I'm not
one to like force them to eat something they're not
going to eat, just as long as they're eating getting
their nutrition through the day.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Nailed failed?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Have you got a nail or a fail for me
this week?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I'm going fail?
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Oh you kick it off? Go girl.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
So we had our chat with our sleep specialist Rachel
earlier in the week, and then producer Grace and I
realized how terrible we are and all the sort of
things and learnings everything we're doing wrong, and we agreed
we're not going to have screens for one hour before bed.
So basically the rule is for bed. It's just for
sleep and intimacy, nothing else. So that was my favorite
(23:05):
place to watch TV. Well that's what you can't do.
So night one. Up the next morning, I get a
text message Producer Grace my sleep routine last night, glass
of wine, melatonin and Gray's Anatomy all in bed, sliding
scale emoji. I'll start being a new person tonight, and
I said, I don't want to talk about mine, alright,
(23:27):
I will Instagram sleeping, chablet melatonin, all in bed, and
I was alone but still managed to get the intimacy
part right.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I thought she said no electronics in bed.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So that was my nail. Then it was a nail
and fail tegus, what about you?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
What's your okay? So my fail is I'm trying to
put off buying a thing. The twins' best friend at
school got this doll for her birthday. And when I
say doll, it's like one of those life.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Like a creepy newborn.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yes is it? We and pooh oh, I don't know,
but it looks real. Their best friend is obsessed with
this doll, and like me and her mum laugh about
it because like, oh, it's a bit chucky dollish, you know,
her little girl's obsessed with it. And then of course
my twins are like, oh my god, we need these dolls.
So like the mom sent me the website, I'm scrolling
these dolls with Indian Sammy going why why do you
(24:25):
want one of these, And they literally are the creepiest
things I've ever seen. You can either get eyes open,
eyes closed. They've even got like the little smooshy wrinkles
around the eyes like newborns, you know how, they're like
really pudgy. Oh my gosh. Anyway, so I have been
using it as my bribe because these dolls are not
cheap either. I'm like, she got it for her birthday.
(24:47):
You got to earn this, but I'm trying to prolong
it because I'm not sure I will sleep with these dolls.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And you'd have to have two of them, having twins.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Too, and then you have to go shopping for the
clothes because and the girls are like, because we want
to practice being a mom, and I'm like, well I
didn't practice. You guys just all popped out of me.
And here I have to figure it out, like you
guys can figure it out. Do we need the creepy dolls?
And they come like you can get the cloth ones
or the silicon.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
And are they waited? Yes, they're very heavy. That's gross.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I feel like we should just ditch the nails and
fails and just call it fails and fails fails upon fails.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I think that's more on brand for us.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Well, thank you for listening to This Glorious Mess. We
hope you've enjoyed the episode, and we'd love it if
you left us a rating.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
All of you, but only if you really like the show.
Yeah yeah, If you've got a dilemma you'd like Sarah
Marita solve. You can leave us a voice note by
following the link in the show notes, or get in
touch at TGM at mamamere dot com dot au, or
come jump on the socials and find us at This
Glorious Mess on Instagram and Facebook.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
This episode was produced by Grace Rouve with audio production
by lou Hill.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Ce you next week, See you next week.
You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Mia acknowledges
the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast
is recorded on an Alicia.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just dropping into your feed and I wanted to share
an episode that Tegus and I recorded last year because
it's about sleep. But it's not your kids sleep, it's
about your sleep. And we follow along some pretty poor
sleep hygiene habits that I have, and I spiral with
a sleep expert and she's got really fantastic advice. So
(00:43):
I definitely recommend you listen. But the other thing that
we talked about was sleep divorce. So it's not the
divorce where marriage ends, but it's about incremental stepping away
and sleeping away from your partner to protect your sleep.
It's super fascinating. Have a listen. I hope you enjoy.
(01:05):
Hello and welcome to this glorious mess. We're embracing the
chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Analie Todd, a single
mum of two tween boys and happy to report we
are all currently life free. Oh what a victory, What
a time to be alive.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And I'm teaking a tolly. I'm a mom of three
under six and I now have two toothless twins, as
I like to call them, so teek.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Today on the show, we're talking about sleep, not your kids,
sleep yours, because this podcast is all about you to sleep,
not about you teak. It's about actually the people who
listen to us. But anyway, we hear from a mum
who's scheduling dinner time a little bit differently. Plus we
chat to a sleep expert. I find out all the
things I'm doing wrong with my own sleep. So stay
(01:53):
tuned to hear my shame spiral and meltdown over that.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Oh I can't wait, And as always, we will hear
from our friend Sarah Marie. But first, here's what's happening
in my group chat. I thought i'd just refer to
my mum's group chat, currently entitled chass host.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Mine's called the suburb I live in and legends, so
mine's a little bit better than your PG. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I thought this was so funny because I feel like
what I'm about to quote is an insight into all parents'
lives with kids around starting school age. Anyway, this one
particular mum said that her son was nearly asleep and
just yelled out from his bedroom criticizing me that he
found one soft grape in his lunch box in a
monst the many perfect grapes. I can't go the f
(02:39):
to sleep. You're getting a lunch box full of soft
grapes tomorrow. I can't believe.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
As he's falling asleep, he's like, yeah, I need to
tell mum about that one soft This was the worst
thing that happened in my day. But do better next time.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Ah, I'm hungry. There you go. There's hungry for soft grapes.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
That's all you're getting.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Hiatt, Sarah Marie, Hi.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Sarah Marie.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I'd love your advice.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
My child keeps climbing.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Into my bed with me.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Please make it stop.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Will I ever be alone again?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Why do you want it to stop? I don't understand.
I am the wrong person to ask this question to.
I am in the middle of my queen size bed.
I've got my four year old on one side, I've
got my one year old on the other because he
suddenly eleven months decided he doesn't want to be in
his cot. He wants to be snuggled with me and
(03:35):
I can sleep. The kids sleep. I love sleeping in
bed with them. But if you actually really need your
own space. I do have a tip, and it worked
with my oldest son until my baby was born, because
then he wanted to sleep in the same room as
his brother. I like pimped out his room. I completely
pimped it up. You know the show Pimped My Ride.
But it was like pimp my room and he was
(03:56):
like dinosaurs war paper. I got him a cool new
bed and new bed sheets. It was a lot of effort,
but it was really cool, a really cool space.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
To be in.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Suddenly he just wanted to sleep in his room. That's
a tip for you, if that's what you really want.
I would make their sleep space their own. Don't make
it like what you want. It has to be what
they want. Don't do the beij Mum thing like get
the color in there, and really get their personality in there,
and they'll want to sleep. They'll probably want you to
sleep in there with them till they fall asleep. But
(04:27):
that's a win. I think if you can leave the
room and go into your own bed. If your question
is why would you want some like adult alone time,
my question is why would you want to?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
I mean, I just can't think of anything worse right now?
You got a kid young.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Enough to want to climb into bed with you. I
think by the time I get the kids to sleep,
I am exhausted. I don't think sex is even on
my mind, and I don't think it's on.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
My husband's side.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
And you know what, judge me as much as you want.
I have in the past weeks spoken to three separate
girlfriends of mine with their husbands, and I have all
said the same thing when we're like, nah, man, like,
that's not happening for us right now.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
It'll get back there.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But I mean, just lock your door.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
If you really worried about your.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Kid walking in on you, just get.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
A lock for that time frame.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
And you know, if you hear the door knock, just
get dressed really quickly.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
When it comes to baby's kids sleep, there's a million
and one methods, opinions, research techniques about how, don't why.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I think what was popular when we were having kids
was the tizzy hall. What was that one called save
our Say?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I did that ah for my first baby from two weeks, from.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Two weeks and still in the womb.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I still feel guilty and am very concerned about the
trauma that I have impacted for yourself or the kid both.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Well, look, that's just one of many now, because everywhere
you turn there's another method, right.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
The fading method, So that's when you put them into
bed while the child is still drowsy, then stay by
their side until they fall.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Isn't that just gones leep?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I don't know it's a method though.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
The five three three rule a training method that involves
specific intervals for sleep.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
It sounds like something you do it like a gym,
like a.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Gym class, or the diets, you know, the.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Okay, all right? The pickup put down methods.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Also sounds like something you do at the gym. The
five minute method.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Just let them cry for five minutes apparently, right, Okay.
The chair method sounds creepy. Instead of leaving the room,
you just sit in a chair next to the cop.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
That's creepy. Look, I'm not gonna lie. I've probably done
that at some stage, let's be honest. I didn't realize
it was an actual method though. I thought it was
just me, my ship. You're so advanced, he can't put
down and shush pat method?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, that also speaks for itself. Tummy.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, responsive settling.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Just sounds like you're responding to their needs, and I
think the meanest one it's called extinction. So basically you
just shove them in the bed and no matter how
much long, right, you just ignore it.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Our whole point is each to your own. Whatever works
for you is whatever works for you, that's what you do.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
You booth totally. And I did that trauma inducing save
our Sleep method for my first but by my second
I was just like, demand feed coalyah, whatever it gets
you through.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, And you know what, every bloody baby's different. Like
my twins. I must say like, I did a method
and it worked great for them, and then I thought, oh,
with Banjo, I'm going to get this done really early.
You know, no way, mate. That kid was an anti sleeper.
I used to laugh at me at three am when
I'd be trying to do the pat the shush, the
pick up, the put down.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
The whatever it was.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
He literally laugh at me in the middle of the night.
And I was like, right, I quit.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I think it's totally luck of the draw.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
What I do agree with in most of these methods
is that a sleeping baby means a sleeping parent, right,
And that's what we're talking about today, how we can sleep.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Save mums sleep.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, out of the way, Tizzy Hall, here we come,
save our sleeps. Clearly we've got issues. I love how
we're like, oh, we're not going to talk about the
kids sleep.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
All we've done is talk about the kids sleep because
I think they're both so traumatized. Well, it's a lifelong
trauma imprint in my brain. But you know, tig, someone
told me this beautiful advice once. They said, you know,
it doesn't matter what you do, you can't spoil a baby.
It's whatever works for you and your baby. And at
the end of the day, they're not going to be
still in your bed when they're eighteen.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah. So now on to actually our sleep, which was
the point. How is your sleep?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
M I am an insomniac, so that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
How is your lack of sleep?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I should say it's very consistent. It actually first started
when I was pregnant with my first the hormonal change.
It just completely hit me and I became an insomniac
and I've sort of dabbled in and out.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Is it because you can't turn your brain off? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I will. Now obviously I'm not pregnant, but I still
have insomnia and it is in a bad phase at
the moment, and I think it's I get ideas that
pop into my head in the night, and I just
start thinking and then going on different trains and thoughts
and what have I got on work tomorrow? And when
am I getting the kids back? And you know, start
doing the mental load stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And I think it all relates back to what we
referred to not long ago what Maggie Dent said to
Kate Ritchie on Nova. She was trying to explain to
fits In and Whipper the mental load of a mum
and how they're like, okay, kids are in bed, they're
shower their fair, there's okay, they go to bed and
they go to bed, whereas moms have like this completely
different wiring where we then lie down in bed and
(09:49):
we're like, oh, did they eat enough broccoli? Oh? I
need to book my eyebrows in for the wax, you know,
like all the things or what did I do at
my twenty first birthday? That was the best one that
she said, because that's me. So I'll sit there and
spiral about something I did sixteen.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Years to go really, yeah, that's just that'll be a
whole other diagnosis. Yeah, I think you should say something
about that. Mine's more current spiraling. So tis if you
share a bed with a partner. I learned about a
new methodology that you might be interested in. It's sleep divorce.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Oh am, I divorcing my sleep.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
No, you're divorcing your partner's sleep. So it's this Scandinavian
method and it's like a sliding scale of things that
you can try to save our sleep, which is what
we've been really interested in need. So things like wearing
an eyemask, ear plugs, like I think snoring is something.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Oh yeah, so I woke up this morning and my
husband was not in the bed.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Well, that's a divorce. That's the end of the line, gnor,
because you've got things like separate doners so you don't
have the fight, separate mattresses side by side.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
And then the very end of the divorce is the
separate rooms, which sounds like where you're at.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Now, things are looking up.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yea. Unfortunately for you, We've got an expert that we're
going to chat to about it.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Does a sleep divorce mean that I'm on the verge
of divorce?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
No, it's all about bettering everyone's sleeps. You do have
more of that connected intimate time.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That's actually going to save us from divorce.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I'm not an expert in that arena given that I
am separated and divorce, so don't ask me.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Well time for the sleep expert.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Then, if you share a bed with a partner, you
might be interested in trying a sleep divorce all around
the idea of giving each person more freedom and better
quality sleep. To explain this phenomenon, I had a chat
with Rachel Beard, a sleep wellness manager at ah Beard's
Sleep Wellness Center. So, Rachel, I am a divorced insomniac.
(11:49):
Why do we need a sleep divorce?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
The foundation of our health and wellbeing is good quality sleep.
And if your sleep is not long and uninterrupted as
it should be because your partner is either snoring, tossing,
and turning, maybe you have different sleep schedules and you're
getting in and out of bed at separate But ultimately,
if your sleep is being disrupted by your partner, a
(12:14):
sleep divorce is more of an extreme way to help
eliminate those disturbances throughout the night.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
But how can we protect that, you know, incidental intimacy
that comes with sharing a bed with someone.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Yeah, definitely, I think I wouldn't go from nothing to
a sleep divorce because that's very well could impact on
your spark or your connection. Possibly start smaller like the
Scandinavian sleep method of the separate doners is another incremental
drump that you could implement to just test and trial
to see if it works. If a couple is seriously
(12:49):
having their sleep impacted by their partner's movements or snoring
or sleep talking, I'm a big sleep talker, so my
poor partner has to deal with that every now and again.
If it's severely impacting your sleep quality, then looking at
something like a sleep divorce is definitely something to consider.
Without a good night's sleep, it impacts and manifests itself
(13:12):
in every aspect of our lives, from our mood and
our relationships. So yeah, making incremental changes, experimenting with new
things is a great way to really prioritize your sleep
and get better sleep for both individuals. Things like social
media and TikTok have definitely increased the awareness and really
(13:32):
helping to reduce the taboo around sleeping separately. Can I
ask you a question analyse? Yeah, of course, when you
say you're divorced, insomniac can you tell me more.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Like I would be lucky to get four hours a night.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
Oh, I know, wow out of curiosity. Do you track
or measure or monitor your sleep in any way?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
No, I don't. I take sleeping tablets and melatonin really healthy.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Okay. We always tell people if you can't measure it,
you can't manage it. And with sleep, how many hours
of sleep you get and how you feel when you
wake up, it's hard to truly know what's.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Going on in the middle of the night.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
With all the rage of tracking devices and wearables and
non wearables.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Now it's a really great place to.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Start to, like I said, really know how much sleep
you're getting, how much deep sleep, how much rem sleep,
and then you can kind of create a plan from
then onwards on how to positively change it.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
What do we know about the effects of bad sleep
on a relationship, because I think it's a bit of
that chicken or the egg, you know, it's like, well,
separate rooms, but we need the sleep. So if we're
not getting enough sleep, how does this change for a
relationship When we.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Don't get good quality sleep as a whole? It has
both short term and long term effects. So long term
effects are putting us at an increased risk of developing
serious illness and disease like type two diabetes, heart attack, obesity,
and depression.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Okay, great, my anxiety is now spiraling just hearing this. Yeah,
even mind sleep.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Those are the long term, sorry, long term health in
as well as short term health impacts, which is things
like our mood and our energy levels, the way that
we show up in our relationship with our partners, in
the way that we show up at work, in our productivity.
I mean, I know myself when I'm not well slept,
(15:24):
I am irritable and groggy, and my ability to deal
with stress is definitely not as good. So I think
when you can physically relate to the feelings of a
good night's sleep versus a bad night sleep, and how
they show up, particularly to the ones that we're closest with,
like our loved ones. Unfortunately, they're the ones that cop
(15:45):
it the most, followed by the people that we work
with because we spend so much time there. Highlights the
importance of prioritizing your sleep and really wanting to do
something to improve it.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
And I think as well, like a really common time
is when people have new babies. That's when you're most
sleep deprived.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Definitely. I think as women, we go through so many
different hormonal changes that yes, really can impact our sleep.
Pregnancy is one, being a new mother is another. But
even on a monthly basis, with our hormonal cycle, as women,
we actually need twenty minutes more sleep than men. Do
(16:23):
we get that probably not? Do we need it?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yes we do.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
When you look at PMS, for example, the symptoms are
quite similar to someone that hasn't had a good night's sleep.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
That just must be made twenty four seven. We need
to prioritize our sleep, whether we're alone, have a partner.
This is just the most important thing.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
It's the foundational pillar of health and well being, alongside
regular exercise and balance nutrition. We know so much about
exercise and its benefits on our health physically, mentally, emotionally,
as well as how important it is to eat a
balanced diet. When it comes to sleep, however, what is
good sleep and how do I get it? And the
(17:03):
fact that how well we sleep directly impacts how we look,
how we feel, and how we perform should really start
with a sleep routine, rather than introducing a new gym
routine or starting a new.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Diet I have melatonin each night? Is that bad?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
So melotonin, it's a hormone that's naturally produced in the body,
but it's only produced once there's darkness. So when we
wake up in the morning, you open your eyes, light
hits your brain, the melotonin production stops. Now we've introduced
into the bedrooms things like TVs and phones and tablets
and laptops, and that light, that blue light in particular
(17:42):
that's coming from devices and screens suppresses the production of melatonin.
So when doing that, particularly in the hour before bedtime,
you're literally suppressing a normal bodily function that should be happening. Honestly,
it is the simplest tip, but it is the hardest
to implement. It's one hour before bed. Be protective of
(18:02):
that hour. No phones, no technology, no lights. Like create
an environment that helps in due school quality sleep. That
is one that's cool, dark, quiet, comfy, and a mattress
or a bedroom that's saved for sleep and intimacy only.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Okay, I've very inspired.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
If one hour is too hard, start with half an hour.
Like any habit, we train ourselves into thinking that that's.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
What the normy is.
Speaker 5 (18:29):
So if you're going to bed and you're watching TV,
or particularly you're doing work, or if you're doing anything
other than sleep, or intimacy is what we always like
to call it. You're going to train your brain that
when you hop into bed, it's wired. This is the
time where I now start doom scrollings. It's habitual and
your body becomes used to it. So in order to
(18:49):
change it, it's uncomfortable and it takes time. It is
much easier said than done. But when I choose, for example,
to turn the TV off, put my phone away, I
love to read on my kindle before bed. When I
do that, I genuinely feel the difference. So yeah, half
an hour or ideally one hour, be protective of that time.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I really do want to fix this. I don't want
to be taking sleeping tablets and I don't want to
be living my life in half a coma. I need
to fix it definitely. Coming up on the show, we
hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time a little
bit differently.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I found this distruction. It was chaotic, chaotic.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
We would get home and they would just beg me
for food, kids dinner time. My name is Amy Connor
(19:59):
and I live in regional New South Wales. Around my
dinner table is my husband Shay, my daughter Mali who's seven,
my daughter Indy who's five, my daughter Billy who's three,
and my little one Body, who is just about two.
I think the first meal I can remember being taught
how to cook.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Is just like a cheese toasty.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Because I was pretty fussy kid.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
Cheese toasties were like my thing, and my mum used
to sneak vegetables in there tube. That was the first
kind of safe meal that I can remember making myself.
I love baking and I love just using my imagination,
so I don't actually follow recipes and I just bake
from my heart and I just chuck things in and
I throw scraps in there, just like repurposing food, and
(20:47):
I just love that.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I think baking's really my niche.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
But if it had to be like a dinner time meal,
I love making Mexican like Mexican rice bowls. I just
love your basic chicken snitzle like I love crumbing it
and just like really making them delicious and juicy, and
everyone eats that in my house.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
So we started making dinner time a little bit difference.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
When Marley, my eldest started going to school, I found
this disruption.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
You had to all get in the car and go
and pick her up. It was chaotic, chaotic.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
We would get home and they would just beg me
for food.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
The snacks that I'm grabbing are not good. I'm going
to put my hand up there.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
I was grabbing chips, lollie's, all those things that I
was having behavioral issues and all that kind of stuff.
And then I was like, this isn't working. Why don't
I just feed them dinner when they get home. And
I just thought, okay, so I'm going to start prepping
dinner in that downtime at lunch when two of them
were at least asleep and then the other one is
just having a bit of a rest time. And then
(21:48):
the second we walk through that door after school pickup,
which is probably about three o'clock.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
If it's pasta, I'll.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Just reheat it.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
It's all ready to go. If it's chicken, snitzel and potatoes,
I just chuck them in the air fryer and it
just takes me ten fifteen minutes to heat up and
then they all can just sit down and eat and
they just eat their dinners. So much easier, doesn't really
change the bedtime, and I always off them, like we
call it bedtime toast or bedtime fruit or bedtime yogurt,
and they can have that and at least I know
(22:16):
that their time is a full before they go to bed.
I just want them to have like a really nice
relationship with food, and I always have. So I'm not
one to like force them to eat something they're not
going to eat, just as long as they're eating getting
their nutrition through the day.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Nailed failed?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Have you got a nail or a fail for me
this week?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I'm going fail?
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Oh you kick it off? Go girl.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
So we had our chat with our sleep specialist Rachel
earlier in the week, and then producer Grace and I
realized how terrible we are and all the sort of
things and learnings everything we're doing wrong, and we agreed
we're not going to have screens for one hour before bed.
So basically the rule is for bed. It's just for
sleep and intimacy, nothing else. So that was my favorite
(23:05):
place to watch TV. Well that's what you can't do.
So night one. Up the next morning, I get a
text message Producer Grace my sleep routine last night, glass
of wine, melatonin and Gray's Anatomy all in bed, sliding
scale emoji. I'll start being a new person tonight, and
I said, I don't want to talk about mine, alright,
(23:27):
I will Instagram sleeping, chablet melatonin, all in bed, and
I was alone but still managed to get the intimacy
part right.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I thought she said no electronics in bed.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So that was my nail. Then it was a nail
and fail tegus, what about you?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
What's your okay? So my fail is I'm trying to
put off buying a thing. The twins' best friend at
school got this doll for her birthday. And when I
say doll, it's like one of those life.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Like a creepy newborn.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yes is it? We and pooh oh, I don't know,
but it looks real. Their best friend is obsessed with
this doll, and like me and her mum laugh about
it because like, oh, it's a bit chucky dollish, you know,
her little girl's obsessed with it. And then of course
my twins are like, oh my god, we need these dolls.
So like the mom sent me the website, I'm scrolling
these dolls with Indian Sammy going why why do you
(24:25):
want one of these, And they literally are the creepiest
things I've ever seen. You can either get eyes open,
eyes closed. They've even got like the little smooshy wrinkles
around the eyes like newborns, you know how, they're like
really pudgy. Oh my gosh. Anyway, so I have been
using it as my bribe because these dolls are not
cheap either. I'm like, she got it for her birthday.
(24:47):
You got to earn this, but I'm trying to prolong
it because I'm not sure I will sleep with these dolls.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And you'd have to have two of them, having twins.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Too, and then you have to go shopping for the
clothes because and the girls are like, because we want
to practice being a mom, and I'm like, well I
didn't practice. You guys just all popped out of me.
And here I have to figure it out, like you
guys can figure it out. Do we need the creepy dolls?
And they come like you can get the cloth ones
or the silicon.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
And are they waited? Yes, they're very heavy. That's gross.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I feel like we should just ditch the nails and
fails and just call it fails and fails fails upon fails.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I think that's more on brand for us.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Well, thank you for listening to This Glorious Mess. We
hope you've enjoyed the episode, and we'd love it if
you left us a rating.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
All of you, but only if you really like the show.
Yeah yeah, If you've got a dilemma you'd like Sarah
Marita solve. You can leave us a voice note by
following the link in the show notes, or get in
touch at TGM at mamamere dot com dot au, or
come jump on the socials and find us at This
Glorious Mess on Instagram and Facebook.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
This episode was produced by Grace Rouve with audio production
by lou Hill.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Ce you next week, See you next week.
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